Original subtitles

you look at me and smile

I understand

and the witch seems absurd

I know we both won't say a word

thank you

maybe I should meet him Sunday

maybe Monday maybe

still I'm sure I'll meet him one day

maybe Tuesday

he'll build a little home

just meant for tooth

from which I'll never

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

yeah

please

[Music]

John edsley Harry Lucas you're under

arrest

what are you talking about we found the

diamonds diamonds what Diamonds the

diamonds you stole from the Van Zandt

company we've never been playing the van

zandts

oh okay gentlemen the party's over

all right what's going on

[Music]

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

thank you

[Music]

look at this Valerie we're in Cairo

Cairo the land of the pyramids

how can you sit there and read that book

this this place for adventure there is

no Adventure in real life

that's why they write these books

and I'm still not speaking to you come

on it was an accident why is not you

deliberately put us on the wrong plane

two weeks in Europe wasn't enough for

you 11 countries in 12 days not enough

Adventure food poisoning in Spain an

allergy attack in Holland so now we're

going to miss our buffalo connection at

JFK and be late to work on Monday

somehow I think the mall will survive

without us

seriously renting R-rated movies to 11

year olds

and you should too if I never take

another picture of a screaming baby

again it'll be too soon I'm not speaking

to you and bettingfeld how are you too

weird

look it's different for you you have

Wayne and your family

me I have nobody to go back to

[Music]

there goes that man again

what do you think Greek Smuggler

Albanian Defector

[Music]

I have to go look around

we'll take this with you because I'm not

watching it

carry this and take pictures and if you

get lost or mob don't expect me to come

to your rescue

[Music]

Airlines

she deserves Wayne

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

I'm trying to find out

we get an ambulance quickly

somebody call an ambulance hurry what

are you doing

back here

[Music]

when they're gone

[Music]

[Music]

I didn't know him I'd never met him I'd

never seen him before in my life this is

crazy will you listen to me look you

fought for the U.S Cavalry and I'm here

okay now why don't you just sit down

someplace like right over here and uh

relax good girl let me do the top

hey what's up

is that the guy's stuff let's go down

he was uh he was American that's his

passport I can read it to you if you

like I can read it's mine

Leo carton his name was Leo carton

Musk he reeked a bit

VanZant

he worked for the Van Zant company

that's the diamond people yes

yes

oh yeah beautiful woman

hello yes yes

wait a minute hello a piece of paper the

paper the man took I've got it in my

purse

oh hello sir

tall man oh excuse me sorry

um

what about the dead man aren't you gonna

do something like what like find out

what happened no it wasn't suicide the

man was frightened he was frightened he

saw somebody coming towards him he

recognized him I'm sure he recognized

him to get a look at who it was oh I

didn't get a look at it but it wasn't

suicide I know it wasn't you can't tell

that to the guy's family

how do you know that you don't know that

you didn't know his name

oh my God that's her the picture in the

wallet you gotta get out of here I saw

her picture in the dead man's wallet

forget about it you don't listen to me

listen no listen I knew there was

something funny about this guy when he

started examining the body he said he

was a doctor he went to feel for the

heart he went on the wrong side I also

know that he tried to steal the guy's

wallet he tried to run away he did run

away I didn't catch up with you you

finished this is the name of the hotel

and this is the details on the plane I

made all the arrangements now stop

trying to be a detective go to bed get

on the plane tomorrow morning and go

home you've already contacted your

friend did you see that and she knows

you're safe

and she's already gone back to the

States I don't want to leave now the

adventure hasn't started yet there's got

to be a mystery man in this story The

Arrogant but sensitive hero whose

piercing stare makes a woman tremble

with Savage desire

[Music]

excuse me do you speak English of course

who is she uh Anita the nightclub singer

what happened to her she was killed

Yesterday by Pistol

at the Village they used to spendler did

Peddler kill her oh no I believe not

serious Peddler is currently in London

and his village was foresee

the police are seeking for a man in a

brown suit

who was seen running from the Villa

directly after the murder of Anita

man in a brown suit

is an adventure here I make your pocket

100 in Travelers checks

eight hundred dollars on my credit card

this carry-on bag with everything I have

in the world

and the clothes on my back

what more could a body need

you are a very strange woman

musk Musk

the man in the brown suit was trying to

steal this it must be very important

it must be at the very heart of the

adventure

what should I do

go home and play it safe

or stay here and live on the edge

inshallah

what in shower

God willing

you go or you stay

it shall be what God Wills

7 11 22 kilmorden Castle

kilmorden castle killmorden castle is a

cruise ship

here's a brochure if you want yes that's

what my friends must have meant

there's a sailing excuse me

there's a sailing on Tuesday

can you make arrangements for me of

course it's a very small ship they may

be full

how much is a cabin

two thousand dollars for first class

fifteen hundred dollars

is there steerage it's called tourist

thirteen hundred and fifty dollars do

you want me to book it

can you cash this ticket in for me

foreign

[Music]

I'm going to need a very good reason

from you for keeping me waiting I'm

really terribly sorry sisters but the

plane from Washington was delayed oh yes

I'm sure likely story a likely story

I was beginning to wonder if I wasn't

going to have to make up the whole the

whole trip wearing the same clothes

as just as I am

but no one to unpack for me

I used this Peddler

the owner of the Villa where Anita was

killed

can't just be a coincidence

no one touches this precious cargo good

places I never listen to everybody

[Music]

my darling girl we don't need to ask me

I know it is

Oh Captain and may I introduce you to La

Contessa

honey you're behind the time this is

Blair now we started him really you're a

very naughty girl you promise me next

time you got married it will be for me

well hold that thought because Mr

Blair's already history

is he really I see how many is that well

let's see there was raw and then um

Baldo and then the show Brie and then

my text and Mr Blair makes about five

doesn't it yes it does indeed wow so

useless long time no see

if our toes and a couple of scotches and

chew on old times

oh yes yes indeed I can't wait to start

dipping and chewing my dear

um

Wherever You Are

it's the race

what are you doing here

I'm on vacation why aren't you on your

way home

well it seems a shame to come all the

way here and not see anything so I

decided to stick around and take a few

hundred pictures yeah well you do that

carefully

in Buffalo

you promise

hello kittens

I'm the Reverend Chichester

vibrations

that one arrogant sensitive hero in the

butt

s

thank you

foreign

[Music]

I've been looking all over for you

I was convinced I'd die sooner if I

stayed in my bump oh you did look sick

yesterday

Mr race and I thought we were going to

have the excitement of a Burial at Sea

but now you're disappointed us

it's my cabin there's no porthole

and the air conditioning died at four

this morning are you telling me you're

not in first class no wonder you're sick

you have to move up immediately thanks

for the suggestion but

I don't think you can move on a ship

like this yes you can I did I am now

closely residing in Cabin seven to one

it must cost more to move oh don't worry

about that I'll take care of it by the

way I'm Susie Blair I think you met

Gordon rings I'm in Bedding so I I

couldn't possibly let you do that oh

nonsense listen I've spent two days on

this overgrown ferry boat trying to find

a woman with more on her mind than halfs

you're my last hope

well thank you very much I just couldn't

possibly let you pay it

when I know the captain maybe something

can be arranged okay now look then you

have to come to lunch with us yep you

gotta eat something come on

[Music]

as much as I enjoy your company close to

me at all times that does not extend to

having your typewriter your files and

your notebooks in my cabin

of course he used to so I completely

understand I'll make arrangements for an

additional cabin first thing in the

morning no immediately

yes Houston

Splendid fella

a zealous manual secretary

yes yes

zealous very good word for Underhill

and painstaking and hard-working and

admirable

and I don't know a person who annoys me

more

are you a zealous man Reverend

Chichester

oh I hope so

God has hit me to form a double task

to conquer

to cause us all to love each other

innocently yes

well I'm sure you're the man for the job

it must have been terrible that singer

getting killed in your Villa God what

absolutely awful I know I resented it

highly there she was killed and been

shot

right there in my garden awful

and do you know something

as They Carried the body out

they got blood all over their Cashmere

all over the house boy

no no no so was it the carpet

[Laughter]

and events do have their place in the

world but that place is not my life yeah

you were in London when it happened

on the day of the murder well yes yes

well according to London I was I don't

even know there's a neater woman I mean

who was she I never heard of her neither

did I I don't know why the Egyptian

press insists on calling her famous

Infamous is more like it

I need his best performances took place

outside the spotlight whatever do you

mean Gordon

she was a blackmailer a swindler and a

thief and probably never wrote her

mother

smart money says she worked for the

colonel who's the colonel somebody every

government would like to find he's into

drugs for guns and Guns for gold and

gold for drugs but nobody can touch them

sound like Professor Moriarty

from the brown suit kildanita

then he must be the colonel oh it's all

just a tall tale isn't it Gordon no I

don't have that kind of imagination

yeah I'm sure you did

I thought I talked to the captain he

said number seven is to stand and bacon

so you can have it anytime you move

Susie can you spin straw into gold too

thank you

what are you doing taking possession of

the cabin that is to serve as my office

oh no no no no this is my new

accommodation you must be mistaken I

don't make mistakes you don't make

mistakes you must be divine man born of

woman is full of sin that may be serve

the car but you're interfering with my

duties get out of my way you put your

hands upon a man of God let go of me and

clean you filth you're full of Pride and

lust

you don't release me immediately I shall

report you just are useless Royal

Marines if you wish is still my cap it

is not

hi guys

what died

hello hello is something wrong can't you

smell it's around if rats get that

oh how Dreadful Madam oh

we shall move you to another cabin

directly Madam that would be very nice

just in case Ben has relatives

January 22nd

seven

[Music]

eleven

twenty-two

[Music]

cabin number seven

eleven o'clock

the 22nd

[Music]

an appointment someone doesn't want me

to keep

[Music]

hello we think you'll be much happier in

Cabin 36 Madam it's much more room I'm

not moving

can't say yeah well I'll just open the

window the portholes no no no no no no

well yes are you sure absolutely thanks

so much for your

it's going to be him

I know it

I've got an appointment with my mystery

man

[Music]

it must have been 11 A.M

missed it darn

darn

[Music]

I just gotta hide me what they're trying

to kill me

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

there's been a man wandering around the

corridors had a bit too much to drink I

was wondering if we'd burst in our new

no nobody here but me but thank you so

much for worrying are you sure oh yes

good really

foreign

[Music]

keep still please thanks I don't need

anything done for me you don't

this is really deep let me put something

on it you'll do nothing of a kind

barge in here and start telling me what

to do

well a view of my presence

[Music]

you want to go bleeding all over the

ship

[Music]

nobody has a right to be that good

looking

[Music]

who are you

who stabbed you some woman

a woman

why

does it have something to do with the

appointment

that's why you're in Cabin seven isn't

it why are you in Cabin seven

inshallah that means I know what it

means

for now but we have to have the ship's

doctor no doctor

tell me what's going

I'm sorry I can't satisfy your curiosity

why not

why not if you want the world to know

anything just tell a woman

you think I'd tell anyone

I have no doubt of it how dare you I

saved your life I wish you hadn't

been better off dead

I Know Who You Are

you're the man in the brown suit

are you gonna sit here quietly and let

me walk out of here or am I gonna have

to do something unpleasant

I'm going to sit here quietly and let

you walk out of here smart move

I didn't kill Anita

she was dead when I got to Peddler's

Villa

why would any woman want to stab you

[Music]

[Music]

why would anybody do this

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

I don't have any

[Music]

somebody was looking for something else

somebody was looking for something else

and I'm right in the middle of it

oh that's too hard too many

possibilities

who is looking

that's the way to go

[Music]

no no

nasty Reverend Chichester because he

tried to get this cabin

I'll make arrangements for an additional

cabin this afternoon

Underhill

[Music]

no immediately

but Underhill works first to use this

Peddler

maybe he was just following orders

what you do that carefully

this isn't Buffalo what about the

delicious Mr race

he didn't seem too happy to see me again

[Music]

number seven is to stand in vacant it's

yours whenever you want oh Susie Susie

it's hard to believe

which she has been awfully friendly

maybe she's just trying to get close to

find it

whatever it is

[Music]

no that doesn't make any sense

she got me this cabin I

[Music]

think I didn't kill Anita

there's always the man in the brown suit

[Music]

he came here somebody had tried to kill

him

somebody did murder Anita

and if it wasn't the man in the brown

suit

and it wasn't

then this could also be a list of murder

suspects

[Music]

Adventure is getting a little more

serious than I had in mind

[Music]

[Music]

how have you been in Africa very long oh

yeah

are you mostly concerned with uh

preaching or do you work in the fields

as well

[Music]

why is Susie paying so much attention to

that fellow and who is that fella and he

talks to me as though I should know him

you do so we've all interrogated

together in Kimberly

[Music]

but George yes

absolutely right

called heavens

not that horrendous day the Van Zandt

company right

as I blocked it blocked him straight out

of my mind

mind you make a wonderful chapter in my

Memoir there

these World Travelers are just making

fun of me because this is my first trip

outside the United States really well

well what a coincidence because it's

underhill's first trip to the United

States he just finished he's come back

oh yes he was going on and on and on

about uh Watergate and um Smithsonian I

said well go man go go did you like it

yes it was very nice very interesting

so if you're taking another picture so

far

many many many you know the meter on my

camera isn't working

do I open the shutter wide to F-22 in

the sunlight

oh is it oh yeah that's right I always

get that mixed up

sweetheart I just love you in that get

up thank you Susie

very fetchy

still of course no one outshines the

king of rock and roll

it was the last outfit in my size oh

come on Underhill are you sure this

isn't a cry from your true inner self to

break free and Boogie break free and

Boogie I have no idea what that means

but it doesn't sound like anything that

I'd ever undertaken you look like you're

covered in diamonds diamonds

whenever I hear the word diamonds I

think of Kimberly

I met sir Eustis and Underhill under

some rather

trying circumstances yes indeed oh

Gordon I think I sense one of your

fascinating stories coming up and if it

has anything to do with diamonds you

have my wrapped attention

diamonds have a leading role several

years ago I happened to be in Kimberly

and a friend arranged a tour of the Van

Zandt diamond mines

sir Eustis and Underhill were also on

the tour

as we watch the men sorting the diamonds

some of the packets fell to the floor

and uh sir Eustis helped pick them up

indeed indeed a civil gesture I shall

regret for the rest of my life why I'll

tell you why

because that very afternoon when they

took the package to the bank to be

checked

they found that one of the packets

contained nothing

but sugar cubes

sugar cubes sugar cubes sugar cubes

indeed

and because I had personally handled

this particular sacrosanct packet I was

naturally primary suspect

I was seized

Not only was I arrested but I was

stripped to the buff

they'll be too happy and relieved when

the real culprit was in fact apprehended

an anonymous telephone call directed the

police to two young adventurers the

diamonds were found in their hotel room

they followed the men to a nightclub I

was there that night they claimed they

didn't do it but all the evidence was

against them they would have gotten 20

years but one of them had a rich father

a Lord named urdsley and they got off

ersley

oh I think I know the rest of the story

but John ernsley was one of my dearest

friends in fact he was almost husband

number three

why he was heartbroken when it happened

he died just three months after that

what happened to the boys

and point of fact they swore that they'd

been framed that someone had planted the

VanZant diamonds in their room in place

of some pink diamonds that they told

everyone they'd found in Brazil where it

was I went back to Brazil to look for

more diamonds to prop up their claim and

that's where the story comes to a sudden

end Indians or something equally absurd

was it

local feds said they put enough arrows

and urgedly to mate him with a porcupine

yeah and then they burnt him to a crisp

Lord must you be so graphic

ladies and gentlemen it's my pleasure to

announce the winner of tonight's costume

ball

for the best costume the winner is so

Eustis Peddler

oh how nice you don't really deserve it

thank you

[Music]

I think I'll go get my camera and take

pictures of everyone in their costumes

foreign

looking for you

who are you who are you

what's so funny are you all right

how's your shoulder

why didn't you report me

because you told me you didn't kill

anyone you believe everything you're

told

truth isn't it yes it's the truth

why are you going to the pockets of that

dead guy

dead guy because I thought he had

something that belonged to me

it's my business

father's wife

I knew everything is connected to

everything else do you want to tell me

the name of the game that you're playing

hey

hey

and

honey

I've been looking everywhere for you

well you're up to something don't tell

me you're not

now I get crazy if I don't know what's

going on

I'm dying to tell somebody can I trust

you

I am a blood relation of General Robert

E Lee well what do you think pretty

exciting huh well pretty dangerous I

would say I mean I have no idea what

they might be looking for or whatever it

is I do share your feeling that it must

have sent Pearl Donita and her husband

to the Pearly Gates and as for your man

in the brown suit I think he must have

read that note before he dropped it and

was trying to keep the same appointment

you were

with Chichester or Underhill maybe

neither one of them maybe they were both

trying to get into Kevin number seven so

they could keep the same appointment

well they both make real good murder

suspects underhill's mysterious trip to

Washington is a very shaky Alibi for the

shooting of Peddler's Villa and she just

was a white-faced liar if he spent two

days in the African Sun I'm the queen of

Romania

I knew her

what do you still have that note

oh oh let me see

oh honey

and sugar look at that that's not a

period after that seven that's just a

flaw in the paper

so if you read this according to the

spacing look it's 71 1 22 kilmorden

Castle

haha

Susie hmm

it suddenly occurs to me that a woman

stabbed the men in the brown suit

and if 71 is a cabin

it's yours

[Music]

I still cannot believe that you would

ever think I could stay out there well

you were in Cabin 71. I told you I

changed cabins besides so Eustis invited

me on this jaunt oh it wasn't mine Susie

I'm sorry it's just at this point I

suspect everybody

not the delicious Mr race I hope why not

rumor has it he's CIA

do you think it's true I don't know of

course Embassy staffs are just crawling

with spies

and he knew all that stuff about Anita

anyway I find him terribly attractive

Susie are you shopping for husband

number six Harley Every Woman whether

she knows it or not thinks that every

man she meets is a possible husband even

for herself or her best friend

in what century

am I being passe I marry all of them

have you known Peddler for long

I just met him two or three times

how did he make his money he didn't he

inherited it

oh Steward yes Madam would you do me a

favor and ask my stewardess to put fresh

towels in number seven there are no

stewardesses madam

there has to be at least one she was in

my cabin the other night there are no

stewardesses Madam the lion does not

hire female attendants chauvinists

Susie

the woman who stabbed the man in the

brown suit

is the stewardess who doesn't exist

oh baby we're hot now you can see on the

chart where we are here's mum better

which is our next Port of Call all I see

is that fascinating you know so much oh

by the way I'm curious could you tell me

who had my cabin before I got it number

71. could you look that up oh I don't

even have to look that up number 71 was

booked by Anita carton somebody else

already asked

only they had the name and wanted the

number

another American

a race

[Music]

oh what can these numbers mean

and added them up we've multiplied them

we've done everything but barbecue them

it's a location huh

cabin number 71

something

won

something 22. do you mean like latitude

and longitude

huh

huh

Susie whoa

come here

what'd you find come here come here

row number one yeah

tile number

19.

20.

21

22.

you found it

okay

come on

coming is coming

to do I know it's okay

it's coming wait

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

was here

[Music]

it's unexposed oh oh

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

you know what it goes to me

whoever it was who tore up your room was

looking for these diamonds

must have seen the note made the same

mistake we did about the seven and the

seven to one

all right that brings us to the only

other person we know of who has seen

this note

the man in the brown suit

the man killed at the airport carton

must have put these here for Anita

ah

yeah uh-huh bad piggers so what

he worked at the benzant company I saw

his business card at the police station

maybe he stole them well what does that

have to do with the man in the brown

suit on in why he murdered Anita he

didn't

sorry Dad when he got there

aren't we being just a bit protective of

awarded felon

anyway what we're going to do with these

now I suggest we give them to Gordon

after what the captain said

Gordon's probably the one looking for

them what

we have the weirdest discussion about

photography last night

getting everything wrong and waiting for

me to correct him

it was like he was checking me to see if

I am who I say I am well isn't that what

CI agents are supposed to do honey check

everybody out among other things

well I suppose we could give him to the

captain then you have to give them to

anyone

my guess is these have something to do

with the VanZant robbery well of course

obviously don't you realize whoever is

looking for these Little Gems as a

murderer by keeping them we just put

ourselves right in the middle of the

Briar pass us me this isn't your problem

I'll hide them somewhere oh sure with

half the ship sculpting around through

your cabin on a semi-regular basis I

hardly think so no sir I will hide them

and I happen to know the perfect place

even Customs won't be able to find them

are you sure you want to do this

are you sure you want to

seems to me your little Adventure has

gotten out of hand honey

I know but

what you persistence wouldn't have

anything to do with certain attractive

young man who's given to wear in brown

suits and desert nightgowns

well you don't expect me to just up and

walk out in the middle of the picture

now do you

besides I haven't even finished my

popcorn yet I see you described poor

John ersley's death the other night but

you never did say what happened to Harry

Luther ursley's buddy they never found

them

the best guess is the Indians carded him

off for brunch

did you find time to visit the Vietnam

memorial when you were in Washington yes

yes of course I did

it's a spectacular view from the top

isn't it you did find time to climb all

the way up to the top right I certainly

I did it was very tiring but uh well

worth the effort

Harry Lucas is presumed Dead Guy

Underhill spent his time in Washington

climbing the Vietnam memorial which has

no stairs

in Kimberley during the robbery not in

Washington during the murder our Mr

Underhill is starting to smell like weak

old sweet potato pie

I snuck into Peddler's cabin and looked

at his memoirs

he wrote about Gordon's story about the

diamonds he wrote about my legs

really boring

I can't wait for the first edition

[Laughter]

[Music]

moonlight

music

[Music]

come on mystery man it's your cue

I speak

he enters

[Music]

help

oh

oh oh

thank you thank you thank you

what

oh

did he get away yes

who was it didn't you see no didn't you

why should someone try to kill you who

are you who are you I've already had

this conversation

oh

somebody actually tried to kill me

somebody tried to make me dead what's

the matter again getting too real for

you sorry

you're okay

are you by any chance looking for

diamonds

[Music]

how did you know

yes I am looking for diamonds

they were found in Brazil some years ago

but now they're lost

so am I

[Music]

the two boys went back to Brazil to look

for more diamonds

Susie said Harry Lucas has presumed

death

you are Harry Lucas

[Music]

why do you do that

[Music]

Underhill

[Applause]

I love The Shining

what was it little doorknob or big

husband neither he got it trying to

throw me overboard last night I'll pick

your pardon you tried to kill me didn't

you just a minute just a minute

wish I had a woman's raving mad it

happened late last night I just been

photocopying so eustis's Memoirs when I

saw someone behaving suspiciously

outside Mr races cabin I followed

whoever it was around the corner and

suddenly he hit me then he ran off

before I could get a proper look at him

oh good afternoon

that was the man in the brown suit can

you imagine it's a murder in a very

midst and those Slackers refuse to go

after him

imagine that right now very nice

of him we're killing someone in my villa

then he has the Terminator to join me

here on holiday I'll tell you one thing

he will not insinuate himself aboard my

private Railway card I do assure you of

that you're getting off here oh yes yes

well we all are I mean everyone at my

table I've invited them to join music

how about you you care for a leisurier

journey

by train to Thompson Falls OH Gordon do

come along I accept good good are you

including Chichester

ah no no no no just alas no the Padre

has to continue the the trip go to the

final Port of Call apparently Dar es

Salaam

thanks for the invitation it's awfully

nice of you but I I'm afraid I can't

afford it

oh

what the hell is he being a thoughtful

man I have other contingencies for

instance

Underhill has to stay here and do some

business for me so I was thinking of

asking you to be my secretary

that's useless don't you think she's

rather unsuitable

until my dear chap good legs

they are never unsuitable

well

thanks again but uh these legs are going

to finish the cruise and go home

[Music]

how did Chichester recognize Harry Lucas

as the man in the brown suit I don't

know how that old fuddy that he reckon

you mean he had to be at Peddler's Villa

exactly which makes him the murderer and

if he's going to Dar es Salaam so am I

well what do you hope to accomplish by

there

Harry Lucas did not murder Anita and I'm

gonna follow Chichester around until he

does something to help me prove it like

what kill you

we're the Diamonds oh

yeah

he found him yourself

the same assumption that led Customs

down the Garden Path look on the outside

everybody looks on the inside

[Music]

that's positively criminal I know and

although I prefer to think of it as

Thrifty

the difference between Brazilian

diamonds and South African diamonds

I'm good but I'm not that good

Harry said he was looking for Brazilian

diamonds

maybe these are the stones he and John

ersley said were stolen from them and

Kimberly

got what he needs to prove his innocence

sounds to me like your maybe has taken

awful lot of faith on it I've got the

faith all I need to find is Harry listen

could we drop all this for just a little

while honey I'm just dying to buy

something let's go shopping I don't know

oh come on I'll buy you something come

on Susie do you know how expensive that

no thank you no thank you

I'm sure you can handle them on your own

before I have to get back to the bus

[Music]

I'm gonna miss you I'm gonna miss you

we'll call each other doing thing

happens all right all right bye honey oh

bye

yeah bye Susie oh thanks

be careful

yeah

thank you

[Music]

[Applause]

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[Applause]

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thank you

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thank you

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I always knew these things were

instruments of torture

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foreign

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I have put her in the room upstairs oh

that's very good very good

she will be here along

she won't be anywhere along

the colonel will be here in the morning

he wants to squeeze her little braid

have the police caught the man in the

brown suit yet

no

who is this man it is a total mystery to

me I never saw him before in my life he

was in the Colonel's way so I put the

police on to him

shall we have a look in on the lovely

Miss America as you wish

[Music]

thank you

[Music]

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[Music]

he works for the colonel Gordon's

Infamous Colonel yes he didn't know who

Harry was he said he'd never met him

before so he couldn't have been at

Peddler's Villa when needed was killed

the colonel himself must have been

remembered

so it was the colonel who told

Chichester who Harry was

colonel

killed Anita and the colonel had to be

on board the ship with us exactly

looking for the diamonds

looking for the damage that's why he had

you kidnapped he thought you had him

so

who is the colonel well a simple logic

dictates that the same man who tried to

push you overboard must have had your

kids up it has to be Underhill

I agree

but Underhill may only have been

following orders

so useless

we have to split up you go on the train

and follow Peddler and race but I'll

tell everyone I'm still going to Dar es

Salaam in the boat but I won't I'll stay

in Mombasa and follow underhills under

here

oh Lord this is so exciting I feel this

life on a Charlie's Angels

maybe you buy something

I'll take these

sorry I changed my mind

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I've decided to take some Eustis up on

his offer he's already hired somebody

a matter of fact he's dictating to her

right now I think his plan is to keep

her so swamped with work she'll never

get out of that apartment well well

my dear dear girl reporting for Judy of

lordliness oh God bless us everyone I am

delivered

it's just under him has just landed me

with the most repellent the most

tyrannical the most Miss Wilkie

beautifully a conscientious secretary

it's ever been my pleasure to employ

[Music]

Miss Wilkie

[Music]

[Music]

about what happened

I followed him to the bizarre

but he sent the police after me

I had to leave Mombasa good Lord so what

do we do now well after we leave the

Falls we have to get back to Mombasa

uh-oh there it is Ladies as you can see

these vendors vend rather cunning and

impossible to carry about wooden figures

now I'm sure that you would be tempted

to purchase as many of them as you

possibly can but I do beg you beg you to

resist and desist there is no room

possibly no room in the Land Rover Miss

Wilkie don't dally come with me

they're very nice

[Music]

welcome sir to Thompson Falls

[Music]

it is an extraordinary thing you know

that I never ever seem to get any peace

I am a man who likes a quiet life I

really do like my club like a rubber of

bridge

like a well-cut meal

as a sound one probably sound I like

Cairo in the winter time and I like

England in the summertime and I

absolutely refuse totally refuse to get

involved in any of those strange weird

and wondrous things that other people

seem to enjoy

thank you

I mean to illustrate I'm gonna say what

I mean I mean just look look at my life

now at this moment

there was a young a young girl killed in

my villa a man in a brown suit on the

very same ship as me and all I want is

acquired life as I said

do you see what I mean

just illustrates what I was talking

about somebody did that deliberately why

should they do it deliberately why why

should anyone want to kill me and why I

must admit at this particular moment I

feel in need of a lie down of course you

do okay I must say it was quite a shock

I'll go back I'm sure it was just an

accident I I jumped to conclusions about

these things let's take you back to the

hotel

[Music]

foreign

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[Applause]

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I must see you please come to the path

above the falls

in memory of the night you almost took a

swan dive into the Indian Ocean

a man in the brown suit

[Music]

Harry's here

Harry's here

when suddenly a huge Boulder came

tumbling down the rock cliff

away or I could have been annihilated on

the spot

Susie and Anne were hysterical

I calmed them with my mask

[Music]

[Music]

thank you

[Music]

[Music]

thank you

am I dead

no it's a miracle no broken bones just a

few scrapes and bruises

[Music]

you've been playing doctor again

who are you who are you

my home

until the police show up that is

I didn't write this

no I guess not I don't understand why

did you respond to it because you said

you were in trouble why should you care

when you say that you snatched me from

the jaws of death twice now

what happened at the Falls I wasn't

pushed somebody rearranged the stones

marking the path they LED you straight

over the edge into Infinity

we're there to catch me some branches

caught

you had to be somewhere near the

branches how come I've been following

our little group since you left the ship

oh Harry

oh

why didn't you tell me I can help you I

know who killed Anita

it was the colonel

what do you know about the colonel

well

I sort of know who he is who

Peddler's secretary guy Underhill why'd

you think that

well for many reasons

mostly because you hit the man who tried

to throw me overboard and the next day

guy Underhill shows up with a black eye

I slug the man in the shoulder not in

the face

well

I can still help you

I think I have the Brazilian diamonds

what are they pink yes well then I have

them

I mean I I don't have them on me

establish that

but I do have them where are they

and they're yours to do whatever you

want with

on one condition

name it

I get to hear the rest of the story

oh

Harry come on we're just getting to the

good part

well Mr Race's recitation ended in

Brazil when John and Harry were attacked

by Indians

John was killed but Harry got away

with his friend dead he lost interest in

clearing his name and just about

everything else he drifted back to

Africa and made his living run an

Excursion boat near the Thompson Falls

one day at the hotel he saw Anita's

husband who we recognized from Kimberly

and when he asked about him he

discovered that he'd been a diamond

sorter at the Van zandt's Company the

man who was killed at the airport

Cardinal exactly when he confronted

Carlton he confessed that Anita had

stolen Harry's Brazilian diamonds and

replaced them with the one stolen from

Van Zant's

she gave six of the diamonds to the

colonel but she kept four of them so she

could blackmail the colonel if she ever

needed to

then those are the pink ones we found

and the reason Anita was killed yes

Harry followed cotton until he found

Anita but before he could talk to her

she was killed by the colonel

why do you keep referring to yourself in

the third person

this has become a parent story

I feel so relaxed here

I'm like a different person

it's Africa

[Music]

I feel like Eve at the beginning of time

who am I Adam

or the snake

maybe you're the apple

ah

well nothing

nobody's heard from her nobody's seen

her

oh dear oh yeah

I do blame myself most Dreadful you know

I really do good choice

should have raised a search party the

moment that guest reported hearing a

scream at The Falls

you do condemn me with hindsight

when Susie and I failed to locate you

as well as n

I naturally assume that you and she had

gone off somewhere together

which also naturally leads me to the

question

where exactly were you last night

why should the colonel be afraid of your

diamonds because the police have a

description of the diamonds because of

their color they're pink and unique and

could prove that we were framed

so you have a diamonds you can clear

yourself no I have to have all 10 of my

diamonds before I go to the police

because of the original testimony we

said we had ten so we're right back

where we started from ah it's hopeless

Harry don't give up now I've had it

before I did didn't say that what are

you doing with me you're one of these

fatty women that rescues wounded birds

and buries dead caterpillars it's not

very nice well I'm not very nice no

you're not

you have to be nice

I'm in love with you

[Music]

oh my God you're alive

but I know of course she came back I

don't know why I was so concerned you

always come back

sit down and talk to me who's this the

warm and gracious man in the brown suit

Harry Lucas he saved my life oh my

goodness sake how do you do

you want to tell me all about it

I'll explain later where is everyone

well so Eustis and Miss Wilkie went off

to Cairo I hung around here in case you

might show up

Gordon stayed with me

as a matter of fact we were just about

to leave haven't we met before no I

don't think so

where are the diamonds they belong to

Harry oh they're going to help clear him

oh

well there might be just a slight

problem

why did you do that because I didn't

know where you were or even if you were

anymore

what is it

a small inconvenience defines small

the diamonds are on their way to Cairo

with Peddler

we have to set a trap for the colonel

whoever he is but who

would love is he Underhill or race one

of them tried to kill me

the thing to do is to go to Cairo and

confront them all

I'm coming with you

[Music]

game's over

you lose

so you're both connected to the kernel

I must say I suspect it and

you really had me fooled Susie

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to hand you

all over to the police Gordon don't be

ridiculous

although I must say this does put me in

a severe state of mixed emotions on the

one hand I know you're not a criminal

but on the other hand you think I am

come on sweetheart it's a piece of cake

give me chapter and verse on the Kernel

here and I'll have you back on the Bayou

before you know it you think Harry is

the colonel now

why because of you me when I bailed you

out in Cairo I thought you were just

another flaky citizen in a jam but then

when you surfaced on the kilmorden

castle and started hanging out with

Susie who just happened to move into

Anita's cabin I started to think maybe

you pushed Leo carton in front of that

taxi after all what and then you kept

appearing like a magician's rabbit and

then disappearing and now you've

materialized with the man in the brown

suit

it's taken me years but at last

the colonel

and his lieutenants Gordon listen I'm

only on this Cruise because Peddler

invited me and I'd never laid eyes on

this young man until a few minutes ago

and as for Anne she's been moving Heaven

and Earth trying to find the Colonel

herself Horatio crazy

the colonel stole my diamonds I went to

The Villa to try and get them from Anita

but he'd killed her he pushed down

overboard and I saved her he then sent

her over the falls and I found her

you say you've been looking for the

colonel for years well I was in Brazil

all that time

you must be the colonel yourself

headler was dictating to miss Wilkie I

heard him

Susie was asleep but you were nowhere to

be found

you must have pushed me oh goodness not

true is it

it says you have to believe I'd never do

such a thing

here

you're right I am CIA

I had to leave the hotel to use my phone

to report to my people Cairo and the

situation here

it's when I was gone from the hotel that

Anne had a fall but Harry here for all

his explanation was in Kimberly when the

diamonds were stolen was it the Villa

when Anita was killed it was on the ship

when you got pushed

and he's here at the Falls as well well

there's only one way to convince you

race Anne and Susie have my diamonds

they're in Cairo and they'll prove I

didn't steal the Van Zandt diamonds

let's go to Cairo you're under arrest no

whether or not you're the colonel I

think you did Kill Anita and you've got

a lot of explaining to do you ladies can

do what you wish but you're both

Witnesses and you're going to have to

testify so don't think about going

anywhere

well let's go we've got a long trip

ahead of us

[Music]

listen you know what

I think maybe we ought to reconsider all

this oh honey listen we don't even know

who the colonel is it could be under

Hill it could be Padma it could be very

dangerous no but we have to get the

diamonds because it's the only way we

can clear hat

I thought you were dead now why would

you think that

it was on the television

they said you were missing without Trace

it's a miracle isn't it

ah

please come in

custis will be thrilled to see you

[Music]

[Music]

it's amazing the two survived those

Falls are really treacherous you should

know you're the one who pushed me over

that's ridiculous what Matthew you're

talking about why don't you tell us look

I was here in Cairo I have proof of that

I was nowhere near the Falls then when I

was in the market in Mombasa you were

plotting with the Arab who had kidnapped

me not at all as far as I can remember

some Arab just asked me if I had a

cigarette how about wash and you've

never been near Washington DC in your

life where were you when Anita was

murdered I was uh yeah

oh God I can't go on pretending like

this I'm too nervous yes where were you

look you must understand I Did It For My

Children

if it weren't for them I would never

have perpetrated such a fraud then you

did Kill Anita of course not

I don't know who killed her

when so used to hired me he supplied

that as he traveled extensively he could

never work with a family man in fact I

was already married

so when he decided to sell the Villa I

had to make secret arrangements to pack

up my wife and children

I was terrified that he'd seen me here

the day that Anita was murdered when I

was supposed to be in Washington

then he didn't see you here the day

Anita was killed I don't know

um

my dear poor Brave girl you are safe

thank heaven

so good to see you again

Colonel Peddler

huh

may I introduce

the colonel

a very clever and very clever

poor on the hill

your tiresome respectability has done

for me at last as indeed

I assumed it would

you're so worried about yourself it

didn't occur to you to wonder what I was

doing here in Cairo instead of being in

London where I was supposed to be

and I had everything arranged so

beautifully it was also wonderful I sent

you over to Washington I nipped over

here just for one day to cover my tracks

no one in London would ever have known

so

you killed Anita

when I saw you arrive I thought I know a

spot of tea so I ordered some

shall we sit down ladies

[Music]

why don't we sit down

ladies

[Music]

thank you

out of the way on the hill

thank you

I believe you know this gentleman

[Music]

oh my young friend is ready for the tea

hard it's the reference Chichester

without his collar

Lucy it's Miss Wilkie don't you see what

and stewardess from the kilmorden castle

[Music]

the lady is

I fear you are failing to fully

comprehend the gravity of your present

situation

however all into your course eh first

things first

how'd you like your tea

shall I be mother

don't do anything foolish

mix also has a gun

[Music]

ask him about the falls

all right yes yes yes I'm sorry but mix

is dying to know how did you survive the

plunge

fell in some branches

but you've been trying to kill me from

the beginning

even before I knew what was going on why

yes I apologize I am I really do

apologize I do like quc and I've liked

you from the very first moment I met you

however what was I supposed to do with a

meddlesome young woman who commandeered

a Ship's Cabin in which I had a

particular interest and then sneaked

into my own cabin and then to compound

her felony refused to fall overboard

my dear girl what was I to do

I think your planet The Falls was really

the best

I could have sworn you in your hotel

room dictating when I went out

was minks finest performance Miss Wilkie

and he impersonates my voice quite

credibly don't you think

so it was Miss

we come close enough to you to keep up

suspicion my mama I would terribly

clever people were dealing with well

they haven't managed to kill me yet they

succeeded with Anita

Minx why don't you be a good little

henchman and go away and practice

henching for a bit go on sharpen

something

preferably your teeth

oh and take care of my secretary William

I do hope you will forgive me for lying

about Washington's Eustis

I've always been loyal to you I suppose

you have no alternative but find me now

[Music]

we'll talk about it later

well would you consider it raising of me

to inquire about Anita's demise yes I

would Susan

however I've always found brazenness to

be your most endearing quality

the woman said to me

there were 10 Brazilian diamonds lovey

not six

guess who has the other four she said

and guess who's going to sell them to

Harry Lucas if you don't promptly come

across with half a million pounds

I wanted those diamonds more than

anything I'd ever wanted in my life

so

I shot her

but she didn't have the diamonds I found

a puzzling cable from cotton in her bag

referring to the kilmorden castle

and later when I learned of carton's

death the cable remained as my only link

to the diamond

so that's how I came to join you on the

cruise

Susie came along as cover sorry darling

Minx I brought along in case I needed a

little help however I must admit the

cable defied interpretation

now tell us about the Van Zant Roderick

carton was

a sort of who dropped the packets wasn't

he and then you you helped him pick them

up you made the switch

the sugar cubes for the diamonds

well even a child knows that the hand

is quicker than the eye

especially if the thing you are taking

resembles identically the thing you are

replacing it with

Anita had told me how extraordinary the

boy's pink diamonds were

I had to possess them I love beautiful

things

so I hit on a plan to steal the diamonds

with carton's help

from Van Zandt and have a neater

substitute them for the pink ones

[Music]

as a master stroke but the police

guessed about the switched packets

didn't they all they needed was a

connection between you and carton to

I do hope that you dear people

don't have an exaggerated fear of

drowning

because I have just decided

that is the most humane way of

dispatching you

trade

let us go

and we'll give you the diamonds and what

a good idea that would be if only you

had the diamonds but you don't

I've suddenly realized I've had them all

along otherwise why would you both be

here

Susie

you asked me to bring one or two of your

more valuable items back here to Cairo

amongst the things you asked me to bring

back was this case now what of Great

Value could there possibly be in this

case because I know for instance you'll

see that you'll never travel your real

jewelry with you you are however a very

generous and open-hearted friend the

sort of person that people entrust

things too isn't she ad

[Music]

[Music]

let's go

[Music]

I like a woman with good hands thank you

bloody God I never done nothing

the diamonds aren't in that case

no

no of course not they're in this lovely

wooden artifacts you so graciously

carried back for me

ah

a giraffe

oh yeah of course

honey

excuse me but I think these belong to

you

thanks

for useless you'd be kind enough to go

with each other

yes yes

if I might have a few moments to change

into something more suitable

stay with them

goodbye sir Eustis

[Music]

and I have lied about a lot of things

but never about your legs

nor about my admiration for you

it's a great pity

that you and I haven't got to know each

other better

but one day perhaps another time another

place

you never know

that he has to be the bad guy Gordon I

never for one minute doubted that you

would rescue us

but how on Earth did you know where we

were

I never believed the colonel was anyone

but Peddler but I just couldn't get him

to reveal himself so I took a chance

that he finally show his hand to the two

of you

that's why I took Harry into custody and

why I didn't prevent you coming here

how could you be sure something awful

wouldn't happen to us

nothing could have happened to you

somebody was following you every step of

the way

besides do you think I'd let anything

happen to my future wife

oh my God I just remembered Who You Are

who is he well you're John ersley you're

not Harry Lucas no wonder you look so

familiar you have the spitting image of

your father

could I speak to you outside for a

moment please

you said you were Harry Lucas I'd

learned Harry Luke as my watch a gift

for my late father my honey was so badly

burnt they accepted the watch's

identification why did

I didn't know you were a genre is that

only seen Harry and me together and

Anita would never bothered to indicate

who was who well when you made the same

assumption carton did I let it stand

just which Harry was in love with Anita

the real one

I'm in love with you

the last time I saw you you couldn't

look at me without gritting your teeth

now you're

all right then and nothing to offer you

but now my name's been cleared and

there's a title and an estate waiting

for me in England

I've never been so insulted in all my

life

also we love Harry of the Jungle but Sir

John of the stately home

well

you're still my Foolish Heart you don't

want to be lady Anne and live in

baronial splendor

[Music]

do I get to wear one of these crowns on

my head

and he tea and crumpets in the drawing

room go riding to hounds they don't kill

the fox anymore

I'm asking you to marry me

I always did like a movie that ends with

them

[Music]

thank you

[Music]

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