Original subtitles

[Music]

foreign

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[Applause]

thank you

[Music]

oh yes definitely that is the dial 24

all right

thank you

tao 24

ah now that is a wine indeed corbin 27

to waste a bottle of curb 27 on an

experiment like this is positively

sacrilegious right now that you say is a

kerbin 27 number two is the dow number

one is a rich ruby port type wine i

can't imagine why there is a hesitation

thing in the house you know

anyway come on it's now

my turn she probably uses it for jugged

hair or flavoring soup yeah well i bet

i'm as good a judge a port as you any

day my boy

what's going on here three contract with

glasses now who is that

who's brought a dog into the room young

one is that three times the lodge gates

and back in a macintosh the herzl

slovakian minister did it in four

minutes 53 seconds

i went all out couldn't do better than

six minutes ten seconds i believe he did

either who told you that about the hurts

of savage administer

clarissa well you mustn't pay any

attention to what clarissa tells me i'm

afraid you don't know your house is very

well wonder she's a young lady with a

very varied imagination i think she made

the whole thing up i wouldn't put it

past her here you are here we go wait

till i see that young woman i have

something to say to her

now would you stop puffing like a

grampis i'm trying to concentrate you

have a bet on

rowley and i uh what is it who's the

best judge of pawn now quiet please now

this is important

well

don't hustle me

i'm not going to rush my fences

where's the next one

there you are here you go

yeah well i'm pretty sure about those

two the first was a dar the second was a

cobin

number three is the da number one is the

curve yeah i don't think it's really

worth my while trying number three

however i suppose i better go through

with it hey what

oh

oh what unspeakable mac oh

it'll take me an hour to get the taste

out of my mouth here let me out of this

rollie no do it come on come on come on

come on

so that's what you say is number two is

the aggressive type of special rubbish

is the dial 24. you're losing your

palate my boy let me try

all tastes the same to me

you young people you know it's all this

confounded gin you're always drinking

ruins your palate you know

hello my darlings

have you settled a year yes prisoner

we're quite ready for you number one was

a cobra number two with support type

wine stuff and number three it was the

dao absolute rubbish number one is the

port type wine stuff number two is the

dial number three is the covenant 27. i

am right am i not darling

now

you take the tray back to the dining

room you'll find that a counter on the

sideball

the canter yes just one decanter it's

all the same portion now perfectly one

principal hamburg well it's such a wet

afternoon and you meant to play golf you

must have some fun and you have had fun

with this darlings haven't you well upon

myself you ought to be ashamed of

yourself showing up your elders and

betters

[Laughter]

now then clarissa

what's all this about the hurt slovakian

minister what did he ever run to the

lodge gates and back in a macintosh

three times in four minutes 53 seconds

the herzo slovakian minister is a dear

but he's well over 60 and i doubt very

much whether he's run anywhere for years

so you did make the whole thing up

why you've been complaining the whole

air about not getting enough exercise

lorisa do you ever speak the truth of

course i do sometimes but when i am

speaking the truth nobody ever seems to

believe me very odd why do you believe

it's clearing up it's gonna be a lovely

evening

you really like living down here in the

country oh i love it

must get bored to death

it's so incongruous for you clarissa

i want to lead a gay life in london

you make a brilliant hostess

it's such a waste with me yes

then there's henry

what about henry i can't imagine why you

ever married him

years older than you with a daughter at

school

well excellent man i've no doubt but

dollars ditch water

no sense of humor

oh i suppose you think i ought to say

these things do i don't mind to say

anything you like

so you do realize you've made a mistake

oh but i haven't made a mistake

are you making immoral advances to be a

jeremy definitely look how lovely go on

i love you i'm so glad

well that's entirely the wrong answer

you're supposed to say i'm so sorry in a

deep sympathetic voice but i'm not sorry

i'm delighted i like people to be in

love with me

would you do anything in the world for

me anything really

supposing i murdered someone would you

help me oh no i must stop no go on

well you see

my life has always been peaceful and

happy nothing exciting ever happened so

i began to play my little game i call it

supposing supposing yes i say to myself

supposedly

oh hello pippa you're late

music lesson

and he about i'm starving you get your

buns to eat on the butt oh yes but that

was half an hour ago

can't i have some cake or something to

last me until supper we'll see what we

can find

it's only that cake with the cherries on

top no you finished that yesterday

[Music]

oh yes you just went with pivot to find

us something to eat will you come in mr

speak no i won't come in because of my

boots bring half the garden with me if i

do i just wanted to ask what veggies for

tomorrow's lunch i'm afraid i tell you

what i'll come back later

oh uh

you will be careful with that they're

squinting mr warren the of course i will

it's a valuable antique you ought to

wrench the drawers out like that

i'm terribly sorry i was only looking

for some note paper

ah

that's right it's curious how often

people can't see what's right in front

of their eyes

this is a smashing band hello there how

was school today pretty foul world

affairs

what's your favorite subject

biology it's heaven

yesterday we dissected a frog's leg

look what i got in a secondhand

bookstore it's awfully rare i'm sure

over 100 years old what is it exactly

well it's a kind of recipe book it is

thrilling

absolutely thrilling seems very

absorbing

what gosh

definitely a good company with

what's the difference between a waxed

candle and a tallow candle

i should think a tallow candle is

markedly inferior but um

surely you can't eat it can you eat it

sounds like animal vegetable and mineral

do you know demon patients

it's such a waste living in the country

when it's wet

do you like living in the country rather

i like it much better than living in

london

this is a wizard house the tennis court

nothing and we've even got a priest's

hole a priesthood in this house yes

don't believe it wrong period

well i call it a priest's hole

look

i'll show you

it isn't a real priest soul of course

actually that door goes through him to

the library that's it

so it does

but it's all about a secret and you'll

never guess it was there less than you

i love it all the time

it's a sort of place putting a dead body

in don't you think absolutely made for

it

oh the amazon was looking for you miss

people with a ball

hey that's mine

greedy thing

first she held me as though i were a

ship then ticked me off for manhandling

the desk

she's a dreadful pest but she goes with

the house black ten on red jack and

she's really a very good gardener yes i

know i saw her from my bedroom window

this morning digging something looked

like an enormous grave

that's deep trenching

red three on the black four i still

haven't lost no time for golf though

only about 20 minutes of daylight left

that goes on there i suppose we better

get over the golf club but i'm going to

get my coat what about you young man i

have to get my jacket

why are you doing mine dining at the

clubhouse darling not at all very

sensible regimens as the servants are

going out supper is already in the

school rule miss pippa oh good i'm

ravenous yeah yeah you put those cards

away first

excuse me madam

yes elgin what is it there's been a

little unpleasantness over the

vegetables oh dear with miss peak yes

madam she's continually coming to the

kitchen and criticizing and mrs elgin

doesn't like it she doesn't like it at

all whatever we've been mrs elgin and

myself i've always had very pleasant

relations with the garden oh i'm very

sorry i'll um

i'll try to arrange it thank

how can one have pleasant relations with

the garden

sounds improper in a pagan kind of way

come on pippa hurry up

i wish one didn't tours have to do the

clearing up

there

it will take your bun with you

and your satchel

hat

and shut the door

[Laughter]

wonderful

she's a different child you've done a

good job there chris um i think she

really likes me now and trusts me

i quite enjoy being a stepmother i'd

like to ring miranda's neck i feel

furious every time i think of miranda

what she made henry suffer and what she

made that child go through i still can't

understand how any woman could taking

drugs is a nasty business it alters the

whole character well what started random

in the first place i think it was asked

swine oliver costello i believe he's in

on the drug racket he's a horrible man

really evil i always think she's married

to him hasn't she about a month ago well

henry's well rid of miranda

good job henry doesn't say much

undemonstrative but to sound all through

but um

that young fellow jeremy what's his name

what do you know about him

he's very amusing that's all people seem

to think about nowadays

don't do anything foolish will you

don't fall in love with jeremy warren

that's what you mean that would be

extremely foolish

you know clarissa my darling i watched

you grow up you really mean a great deal

to me now if you were ever in trouble of

any kind

you would come to your old guardian

wouldn't you of course really darling

and you needn't worry about jeremy

excuse me uh i hope you don't mind mine

coming in this way mrs hilton brown i've

left my boots outside but i would just

like you to look at this collie

uh it um

it looks very nice

take a look

i can't see anything wrong with it of

course there's nothing wrong with it

that woman in the kitchen

well of course i don't want to say

anything against your servants mrs

helgen brown though i could say a great

deal but that mrs elgin actually told me

it was such a poor specimen she wasn't

going to cook it i was so angry i could

have killed her

in future i shall leave the veggies

outside the back door

well that's all right i'll get it

hello

the couples and caught yes

you want to speak to mrs brown yes she's

here

this is mrs hales from

hello

hello

hello him run off

uh excuse me

mr sellen always liked this cupboard

back against the wall

thank you

thank you and uh you will be careful

about marks made with glasses on the

furniture wouldn't you misses brown the

ocean

brown

brown nails should be held from brown

it's all the same thing really isn't it

no it's not a horse chestnut is hardly

the same thing as a chestnut horse i'm

getting a regular ticking off quite

sarcastic

well i must be off

give me the collar

false chest

that's totally good that one you know i

must remember that

what a dreadful woman that is i agree

she's madness she's a very good gardener

and she goes with the house and says the

house is so wonderfully cheap cheap oh

you surprised me oh amazingly cheap it

was appetizing we came and saw it and

took it then and now for six months

furnished does it belong to him well it

belonged to a mr seller he was an

antique dealer in maidstone oh yes yes i

remember selling and brown i bought a

very nice chippendale mirror from them

once marcelon used to live here and he

drove into maidstone every day mind you

there are one or two disadvantages to

the house only yesterday a man in a

violent check suit drove up in a sports

car wanted to buy that desk i told him

it wasn't ours but he simply didn't

believe me kept on raising the price he

offered 500 burns in the end 500 pounds

i'm still hungry you can't be

i am

milk and chocolate biscuits in a banana

aren't really filling it's a nice desk

quite genuine but not what i call a

collector's piece well perhaps it has a

secret drawer with a diamond necklace in

it it has got a secret drawer what

well i found a book in the market all

about secret drawers and old furniture

and i tried all over the house but that

is the only one that's got one

look i'll show you

you see

slide out this and there's a sort of

little catch thing underneath well it's

not very secret ah but that isn't all

underneath there's a spring and a jaw

flies out

oh i say what's this

sucks to you

actually there was an envelope with an

autograph queen victoria in it look i'll

show you

do you collect raspberry well no not

really only it's a sideline

how much is queen victoria's autograph

worth about five or ten shillings i

should think

well there's ruskins here too and job at

browning oh not much either on the red

i got at school collects stamps and her

brother's got a smashing collection

himself

last autumn he thought he got one like

the one in the paper

um a swedish something or other which is

worth hundreds of pounds

anyway he was awfully excited and took

it to a dealer

said it wasn't what he thought it was

anyway he gave him five pounds for it

five pounds is pretty good isn't it

can i see if any more chocolate biscuits

in the larger clarissa yes if you like

well i think i must be off

do you enemy

hi jeremy coming well i better go out

this way i think it's nearer good night

clarissa

thank you for your hospitality

good night sir

[Music]

come on my darling

warren and i will probably not be back

until about midnight really is a lovely

evening i think i'll come with you as

far as the gate on the golf course

teresa's coming with us as far as the

gate

[Music]

good evening sir i've come to see mrs

brown oh yes what name sir mr costello

this way

[Music]

[Music]

madam is at home i will see if i can

find her

[Music]

you

clarissa what are you doing here

it's a rather silly question isn't it

this is my house

this is your hat well don't pretend you

don't know

it's charming

used to belong well what's his name uh

the antique dealer didn't it yes he uh

he brought me here once to show me some

louis carl's chairs cigarette no thank

you and i think you better go my husband

will be home quite soon i don't think

he'll be very pleased to see you

ah but i particularly do want to see him

that's why i've come here really to make

suitable arrangements arrangements

for pippa

miranda's quite agreeable to pippa's

spending part of the summer holidays

with henry and

perhaps a week of christmas but

otherwise

what do you mean hippa's home is here

but my dear teresa you're surely aware

the court gave miranda the custody of

the child

at nine

the case was undefended

remember henry allowed miranda to

divorce him but it was agreed between

them privately that pippa should live

with her father i don't believe for one

moment that miranda wants that child or

care stoppens about her ah then you're

not a mother are you my dear clarissa

you don't mind me calling you clarissa

do you

after all now i'm married to miranda

we have practically relations involved

you are not having pippa

that child was a nervous wreck she's

better now and happy at school and

that's the way she's going to remain and

how will you manage that my dear

the law i'm afraid is on our side what's

behind all this

what do you really want

what a fool i am of course it's

blackmail

i was looking for you madam yes elgin

what is it

will it be

all right for us to leave now yes quite

all right the taxi has come for us

supper's laid already in the dining room

do you want me to shut up in here uh no

no i see to it thank you madam

good night man good night elgin

a black male is a very ugly word

clarissa have i mentioned money not yet

but that's what you mean isn't it

well i must confess it's true we're not

very well off

miranda you know has always been

somewhat extravagant

i think that she feels that henry might

be able to spare her somewhat large

reliance

after all he's a rich man now listen

you are not having pippa you try and get

her away from here and i shall fight you

tooth and nail and i don't care what

weapons i use

it shouldn't be difficult to get medical

evidence proving that miranda's a drug

addict i hardly think henry will care

for your methods and henry will have to

lump them as the child that matters

did you know there are two chocolate

biscuits left in the tin hello pippa

my

goodness how you

grown i've just been making some

arrangements about you

your mother is looking forward to having

you with her again she and i are married

now you know i won't come i will come

charisma that's all right cooper your

home is here with your father and with

me and you're not leaving but

i will not have you in my house excuse

me um

will you show mr costello to the gate

onto the golf leagues

mr peak was it

pleased to meet you and the gardener

here

indeed

um i came here once before to look at

some antique furniture oh yes in mr

selland's time well you can't see him

today you know he's dead

no i didn't come see him i came to see

mrs brown

oh yes

but now you've seen her

yeah

well

goodbye clarissa

you will hear from me you know

this way mr costello did you want the

bus over you bought your own

i left my car around by the circles

he'll take me away from him no i hate

him i always hated him i don't want to

go back to mother i'd rather die

i'll kill him no

i'll kill myself i cut my wrist and

pleaded dead but i'm here

very likely now pull yourself together

everything's all right

you go and have your mind you have a

really good wash

your neck is absolutely filthy it always

is

you want to take me away from here will

you over my dead body

no over his dead body there does that

satisfy you

no run along

hello henry hello darling

it's been an awful day

that's it

uh do you want a drink

not just now

who's in the house yeah nobody it's the

elgin's night out black thursday you

know cold ham chocolate moose

coffee will be really good because

actually

is anything that matter

well

yes in a way something wrong miranda oh

nothing wrong i should say quite the

contrary

darling do i perceive behind the

impenetrable foreign office facade a

certain human excitement

well it is rather exciting in a way

you'll have to keep this to yourself

clarissa yes it's really very secret no

one is supposed to know

actually

you will have to know oh come on tell me

it's really very hush-hush

kalindorff is flying to london for a

conference

the news was only released officially

tonight

his plane arrives at croydon at 8 40 but

actually

the conference is tomorrow

but it would be a great advantage if a

conversation could take place first

between sir john himself and kalandorf

now naturally the reporters are all

waiting at croydon and the moment

kalandorf's plane arrives his movements

are more or less public property

go on i'm thrilled

the plane at the last moment will find

it

inadvisable to land at croydon

it will be diverted as is usual on these

occasions to bind the heath just 15

miles from here you are always very

quick clarissa

yes i shall go off there now to the

aerodrome in the car meet kalandorf

and bring him here

sir john is motoring here directly from

london 20 minutes should be ample

for what they have to discuss then

calendar will go back to london with sir

john

no clarissa

this may be a very great value to me in

my career oh darling i think it's all

wonderful oh by the way

kalandorf will be referred to as mr

jones

mr jones no one can't be too careful

about using real nails yes yesterday mr

jones couldn't have thought of something

better than that

what about me

do i retire to the hurry or do i bring

in the drinks utter greetings and then

discreetly fade away you must take this

seriously my dear oh darling can't i

take it seriously and still enjoy it

just a little

i think perhaps it would be better if

you didn't appear oh all right well what

about food well they want some oh no

there need be no question of a meal a

few sandwiches and some hot coffee and a

thermos jug yes that'll do nicely the

chocolate mousse i shall take up to my

bedroom to console me for being excluded

from the conference

sir darling nothing will go wrong i

won't let it what about old rowley well

he and jeremy are dining at the

clubhouse with hugo they're going to

play bridge afterwards so they went back

till about midnight and the elgins are

out darling you know they always go to

the cinema on thursdays they won't be

home until about 11. good that's all

quite satisfactory so john and mr jens

quite right darling they have left long

before then

right well i bet have a quick wash

before setting off a bindery heat i'll

go and make a sandwiches

clarissa you must remember about the

lights we make our own electricity here

not like london

[Music]

ah

so

[Music]

[Music]

wow

[Music]

[Music]

do you want a sandwich before you go no

i think i'd better start maybe hours too

early

it won't take you more than 20 minutes

to drive there you never know i might

get a puncture or something ah there you

go darling now what about pippa she's

not likely to come down or barge in

don't fast down i'll go up to the school

room and we'll have a feast together how

very good you are to pippa it's one of

the things i'm most grateful to you for

so much misery now everything's so

different

you really are you go and see your mr

jones

oh what about the front door shall you

come in that way will i leave it unless

no no i think we better use the windows

yes my dear bye bye

[Music]

[Music]

do

you do

hmm

[Music]

wow

[Music]

uh

don't lock don't vlog i didn't really

mean to really i didn't mean to do it oh

was it you

he's dead isn't he he's quite dead

i didn't mean to kill him right people

card i didn't mean to

now listen pippa you've got to forget

all about this do you hear me

but you must trust me and believe what

i'm telling you everything is going to

be all right but you must be brave and

do exactly what i'm going to tell you

now will you do as i tell you

right well now i want you to go upstairs

and get into bed and and you'll come

with me yes yes i'll come out very soon

as soon as i can in the morning

everything will seem quite different

there may be nothing to worry about

[Music]

what would i do

what am i going to do

three spades four hearts four no trunks

pass

five diamonds past six beds

double and i think they go down

that's two tricks doubled vulnerable

that's

500.

should i let them make it

no

thank god you've come i did what is all

this science you've got to help me looks

like a bridge party melodramatics now

what are you up to young woman serious

it's terribly serious you will help me

won't you of course we'll help you but

what's it all about you're up to

something clarissa what is it found a

body

that's just it i have found a body

[Laughter]

what you mean you found a body it's just

as jeremy said i came in here

and i found a body

i don't know what you're talking about

i'm serious it is there go and look

behind the sofa

she's right

it's oliver costello yes

what was he doing here well he came here

this evening to talk about pippa just

after you've gone to the club

what did you want with pippa well they

were threatening to take her away but

all that doesn't matter now we've got to

hurry there's very little time wait a

minute we must have the facts clear what

happened then well i told him he wasn't

having her and he went away but he came

back obviously but how when i don't know

it's just as i said i came in here and i

found him like that

well he's dead right now

he's on the head with something heavy

and sharp

well it's not going to be a very

pleasant business but there's only one

thing to be done we must bring up the

police oh no you should have done it

once for yourself no really stopped but

my dear i don't run the police myself if

i had wanted to i even started dialing

and then i said i rang you up you

haven't asked me why yet chris please

leave all this money done to understand

i want you to help me you said you would

if i was ever in trouble oh darlings

you've got to help me what do you want

us to do larissa get rid of the body my

god don't talk nonsense this is murder

but that's the whole point the body

mustn't be found in this house but my

dear girl you don't know what you're

talking about

you've been reading too many murder

mysteries in real life you don't go

monkeying about moving dead bodies i

have moved it already i turned it over

to see if you were dead and then i saw

i'd have to have help so i ran you up

and whilst i was waiting for you i made

a clown including the bridge yes that's

going to be our alibi but what on the

hard rubbers i've imagined all the hands

and put down the scores on this marker

you three must fill up the other markers

in your own handwriting of course mad

chris they're quite mad i've worked it

out beautifully the body must be taken

away from here it'll take two of you to

do that a dead body is terribly

unmanageable i found that out but well

the devil are we going to take it the

best place i think would be marsden wood

that's two miles away from here you take

the car to the wood and leave it there

then walk back here do we dump the body

in the wood no leave it in the car it's

his car don't you see if anybody does

happen to see you well it's a dark

knight and they won't know who you are

and you've got an alibi we have all four

been playing bridge here now you wear

gloves of course so as not to get

fingerprints on anything but i've got

them here already your natural talent of

a crime leaves me speechless it all

worked out isn't it

nonsense anyway we must hurry at nine

o'clock henry and mr jones will be here

mr jones i never realized what a

terrible lot of explaining one has to do

in the murder i just thought i'd ask you

to help me you would now look my dear

play acting is all very well but a dead

man's a nasty serious business and

monkeying about with it will land you in

a real mess you can't go carting bodies

about at the dead at night

jeremy i'm gay that's a dead body or two

i won't alive chrissa you've got to be

guided by me and there is henry to

consider too nobody tell me i am

considering something very important is

happening tonight henry's gone to

to meet someone and bring him back here

mr jones this is a silly name i know but

it's what they're calling him i can't

tell you about it because i promised i

wouldn't say a word to anybody but i've

got to make you see that i am not being

an idiot and play acting as hugo called

it what sort of effect do you think

it'll have on henry's career to walk in

here and find the police in charge of a

murder and the murder that of the man

who just married his former wife you're

not making all this up nobody ever

believed me when i'm speaking the truth

yes i'm sorry i do see it is a more

difficult problem than i thought so you

see we have to get rid of the body right

do i take the bodies of the car or the

car to the body now wait a minute we

must hurry yes i'm not sure this plan of

yours is the best one chris now if we

could just delay finding the body until

tomorrow morning that would meet the

case i think if we merely moved it into

the next room that might be just

excusable it's you i've got to convince

isn't it jeremy's ready enough and hugo

it's you

will you both go into the other room for

a while i want to speak to uncle riley

and then

don't let her talk you into any

tomfoolery

good luck

i love you my dear and i will always

love you dearly but in this case the

answer is no

that man's body must be found in this

house if it is we shall all be

questioned and pippa won't be able to

stand it

she'll break down and confess

pippa

oh my god

she was terrified when he came back here

today

i told her i wouldn't let her be taken

away from here but i didn't think she

believed me

she told me she didn't mean to do it and

that's true i'm sure it was just panic

she got hold of that stick and struck

out blindly

what stick the one from the hall stand

it's in the recess i haven't touched it

where is pepper now in bed i gave her a

sleeping pill she ought not to wait till

morning

tomorrow i'll take her up to london my

old nanny will look after her

you win my dear i apologize that child

must not be allowed to face the music

get the others

you go jeremy

servants

that background of yours doesn't lock up

very carefully the window in the library

was left open

anyway i've closed it now

well i'm converted well done no time to

lose

and then gloves torch how does how does

this thing open i like this

pepper showed me

yes

heavy enough weighted in the head

all the same i i shouldn't have thought

you shouldn't have thought what

well i i should have thought it was

something with a sharper edge metal of

some kind you mean like a

goddamn chopper do you mean that stick

looks murderous enough to me at least

they crack a man's head open with that

evidently hugo you'll burn this in the

kitchen fire and warren and i will get

the body to the car if you've got one

what's that it's the front doorbell it's

too early for henry and mr jones

it must be sir john what do you mean you

mean the foreign secretary yes

yes well you've got to do something

chris don't answer the door use what

delaying tactics you can now then i

think we better we better get the body

in there and later on when they're

having the pow-wow in here we will get

him out through the library good idea

all right

now then gloves

that was a

bridge

come along hugo

[Music]

come along hugo

it's the police uncle roley

i'm sorry to intrude gentlemen but we've

received information that there's been a

murder committed here isn't it

extraordinary what

we had a telephone call at the police

station good evening mr birch good

evening inspector

i'm afraid somebody has been hosting you

inspector we've been playing bridge here

all evening who did they say had been

murdered no names were mentioned the

caller simply said that a man had been

murdered at coppelston court and could

we come along immediately uh they rang

off before any additional information

could be obtained oh it must have been a

hoax what a wicked thing to do

well then uh according to you

nothing out of the ordinary has happened

here this evening oh perhaps i'd better

have a word with uh mr hilton brown oh

he's not here i don't expect him back

until late tonight who is there in the

house cirilla de la hey mr jeremy

warrander mr burch whom you know and my

little stepdaughter she's in bed and

asleep what about servants it was their

night out there are the pictures in

maidstone i see would you be wanting

anything

i thought you were at the pictures elgin

we returned almost immediately madam my

wife wasn't feeling well gastric trouble

is anything wrong what's your name elgin

i'm sure someone rang up the station and

said that a murder had been committed

here i'm not what do you know about that

nothing nothing at all wasn't you who

rang up oh no indeed

you uh came in by the back way i suppose

yes sir notice anything unusual well now

i think that there was a strange car

standing near the stable strange car yes

i wondered at the time whose it might be

it seemed a curious place to leave it

anybody in it not as far as i could see

her i'd better take a look at it jones

jones i beg upon

oh nothing just i didn't think he looked

very welsh

well it seems that someone who's

unaccounted for called here this evening

uh you weren't expecting anyone no no

you see we didn't want anyone we were

just the four of us for bridge ah very

fond of the game of bridge myself oh are

you

you haven't uh been here very long have

you missed an hour from down no no about

six weeks and uh there's been no funny

business of any kind since you've been

here

what exactly do you mean by funny

business inspector well it's rather a

curious story sir uh this house was

owned by mr sellin the antique dealer he

died six months ago oh yes he had some

kind of accident didn't he that's right

fell downstairs pitched on his head

accidental death they brought in might

have been that might not do you mean

somebody might have pushed him

that or somebody gave him a crack on the

head and arranged for him to look right

at the foot of the stairs these days

here oh no at the shop

no evidence of course but he was rather

a dark horse mr seller

in what way

oh once or twice he had a couple of

things to explain as you might say and

uh the drug investor came down once and

had a few words with him but it was all

any suspicion officially that is to say

that's right sir officially whereas

unofficially i'm afraid we can't mention

that sir

but there was uh it was one rather

curious circumstance uh there was an

unfinished letter found on mr selim's

desk in which he mentioned that he'd

come into possession of something which

he described as

an unparalleled rarity

which he guarantee wasn't a forgery and

he was asking 14 000 pounds for it 14

000 pounds that's a great deal of money

i don't know what it could have been

jewelry i suppose except the word

forgery

a picture about yes uh there was nothing

in the shop worth such a sum of money

the insurance inventory made that clear

mr selen's partner was a woman who has a

business of her own in london and uh she

wrote and said she couldn't be of any

help you mean selling could have been

murdered and the article whatever it was

stolen possibly but then again uh the

would-be thief

may have been able to find it why do you

think that inspector because the shop's

been broken into twice since then broken

into and ransacked

why are you telling us all this

inspector because mrs helsing brown it

occurred to me that whatever was hidden

away by selling

may have been hidden here and uh not at

the shop in maidston

and that's why i asked you if anything

uh

peculiar would come to your notice

well

somebody rang up today and asked to

speak to me and when i got to the phone

whoever it was just hung up in a way

that's rather odd

oh yes and that man who came the other

day to buy some furniture he was a

horsey sort of man in a czech suit he

wanted to buy that desk

i told him of course that it wasn't ours

to sell but he simply didn't believe me

he offered a very large sum far more

than it's worth interesting these things

sometimes have a secret drawer yes this

one has but there's nothing very

exciting in it only some old autographs

yes jones i've examined the car sir

there's a pair of gloves on the driving

seat registration book in the side

pocket

oliver costello 27 morgan mansions sw3

uh was a man called costello here this

evening yes he was here at about half

past six friend of yours

no

no no i wouldn't call him a friend

i had met him once or twice

it's um well perhaps i had better

explain inspector it concerns the first

mrs harrison brown there was a divorce

just over a year ago and recently she

married oliver costello i see

and uh mr costillo came here this

evening why by appointment oh no no as a

matter of fact when miranda left she

took with her one or two things that

weren't really hers oliver happened to

be in this part of the world and he just

dropped in to return them what kind of

things oh nothing very important uh this

was one of them it belonged to my

husband's mother he values it for

sentimental reasons

uh how long did uh mr costello remain a

very short time he said he was in a

hurry

about 10 minutes

and your interview was quite uh amicable

oh yes yes i thought it was very kind of

him to look in to return the things did

he mention where he was going when he

left here no

oh actually he went out by that window

as a matter of fact my lady gardener

miss pique was here and she offered to

show him out through the garden your

garden uh does she live on the premises

yes she lives in the cottage i think i'd

better have a word with her jones oh

there is a telephone connection through

to the cartridge shall i get before you

inspector well if you'd be so kind mrs

hilsa brown

i don't think she'll have gone to bed

yet

oh hello mr speaker this is mrs hale

from brian

yes um something rather important has

happened i wonder if you could come over

for a moment

oh yes that will be all right thank you

she's been washing her hair but she'll

dress and come right over

the question is why is oliver costello's

car still here and where is mr costello

apparently miss peek was the last person

to see him he left you say by that

window uh did you lock it after him no

oh

i i don't think so so he may have

returned that way i think with your

permission mrs hilton brown i'd like to

search the house of course

well you've seen this room nobody could

be hidden here uh through here is the

library would you like to go in there oh

thank you

just see where that door leads to joan

where'd you ask it

just through to the hall sid right

now we'll search the rest of the house

oh i'll come with you if you don't mind

in case my stepdaughter should wake up

and be frightened

not that i think she will

it's extraordinary how deeply children

sleep have you gotten a children

inspector boy and a girl who is good

night

mr chairs

if you ask me there's only one thing to

do come clean own up before it is too

late damn it we can't do that you'll be

too unfair to clarissa we'll get her in

the far worst mess if you carry on like

this i mean how are we going to get rid

of the body the police will impound the

fellow's car we'll use mine i don't like

it i don't like it at all i mean i'm a

local jp

now what do you think brody i mean

you've got a good little head personally

i'm committed to the enterprise i don't

understand well take it on trust hugo if

you will now listen once the police are

satisfied that oliver costello is not in

this house they'll go away and look

elsewhere why don't we buy suspicion

should attach itself to any of us we're

all respectable people hugh goes to jp

henry is in the foreign office and i

tell you that you've had a blameless and

even distinguished career exactly

all right

are we bracing it out

can we do something about that straight

away no time they'll be back in a minute

say for where it is

i must say clarissa is a marvel doesn't

turn her hair she's got that police

inspector eating out of her hand

oh that'll be misspeak better go let her

in one

[Music]

evening

i think you better come in here

who

i say what is all this mrs helshaw was

most mysterious on the phone has

anything happened i'm sorry you invited

out like this mr speaker why don't you

sit there

the fact is we've got the police here

the police has to be the birthplace well

no not exactly oh

inspector uh this is mistake

good evening oh good evening inspector i

was just asking sir roland has to be a

burglar or what uh we received a rather

peculiar telephone call and we think you

could probably clear up the metaphors it

concerns mr oliver costello

never heard of him well he's here this

evening visiting mrs hayleson brown and

i believe you showed him out through the

garden oh that man oh yes i believe mrs

hilchim brown did mention his name what

about him

i'd like you to tell me exactly what

happened and when you last saw him

well i showed him out through that

window and i asked him if he wanted a

bus and he said no he'd come in his car

that was the last you saw him yes why

is cars still here

we received a telephone call at 7 49

saying a man had been murdered at

coppelston court murdered here

ridiculous

that's what everyone seems to think well

of course i know there's all these

maniacs about attacking women but you

say a man was murdered

you didn't hear a car this evening well

only mr hilton brown mr hayes i thought

he wasn't expected back until late

oh my husband came home but he went out

again almost immediately was that so

exactly when did he come back oh let me

see about it oh it was about uh quarter

of an hour before i went off duty yes i

work a lot in overtime inspector be keen

on the job that's what i say yes it was

about quarter past seven when mr helsham

brown got in shortly after mr costello

left they probably passed each other oh

you mean he may have come back to see mr

helsha brown

oliver definitely didn't come back to

the house but you can't be sure of that

mrs helgenbrown i mean he might have got

through that window without you knowing

it golly you don't suppose he murdered

mr hilton brown i say i am sorry of

course he didn't murder henry where did

your husband go when he left here i have

no idea well doesn't he usually say

where he's going oh i never ask

questions i always think it must be so

boring for a man if his wife is always

asking him questions

how stupid of me if that man's car's

still here he must be the one who's been

murdered oh but mr speaker we have no

reason to believe that anybody's being

murdered in fact inspector thinks it was

all some silly hoax oh with that car i

do think that car's very suspicious you

know

have you looked about her body the

inspector has already searched the house

i'm sure those elgins have something to

do with it i've had my suspicions of

them for a long time have you searched

that quarter now listen

supposing that man mr costello

recognized elgin as a man with a

criminal record

he might decide to come back and warn

mrs helsham brown and elgin assaulted

him then of course he'd have to get rid

of the body somewhere quickly so that he

could dispose of it later in the night

now

where

where do you

suppose he'd hide the boat

i wonder

behind the curtain oh really misspeak

there isn't anybody hidden behind any of

the curtains and i'm sure elgin would

never murder anybody it's quite

ridiculous oh but you're so trusting mrs

helgen brown when you're my age you'll

realize that people are often not quite

what they seem

why would a man like elgin hide the body

oh well of course there's a cupboard

place between here and the library i

mean you've looked there i suppose the

inspector has looked both here and in

the library

just what do you mean by that covered

place misspeak oh it's a wonderful place

when you're playing sardines you never

dream it was there i'll show you and no

there isn't anybody there now i know

because i went through the library that

way just now

oh well in that case just show me all

the same i'd like to see

well it was a door originally it matched

that one over there

i'll show you

now

you pull this catch here and the door

swings open

you see

so there was a murder here tonight

yes we'll need photographs

yes the whole bag of tricks

[Music]

better not move the body till they've

taken the photographs not that that will

tell us anything he wasn't killed there

he's put there afterwards you can see

where his feet have dragged how are you

feeling better there might be as well to

close the bookcase door we don't want

any more hysterical yes indeed

inspector mrs harrison brown's had a

very nasty shark i think she ought to go

to her room and lie down certainly sir

in a moment or two i'd just like to ask

her a few questions first oh she she's

not fit to be questioned no i'm all

right really i am well i think it's wise

or not

really he's so sweet to me always yes i

can see that do ask me anything you want

to inspector though actually i can't

help you i'm afraid because i just don't

know anything at all would you join the

other gentleman pleaser well i think

i'll call you if it should be necessary

dear uncle really he always wants to

spare me everything

now mrs helson brown you had no idea

that there was a body in that recess no

of course not oh it's horrible quite

horrible when we were searching this

room just now why didn't you draw our

attention to that recess

too

the thought never struck me you see we

never used it so it never came into my

head but you said you'd just been

through that way into the library oh no

i think you must have misunderstood me

what i meant was that door i certainly

misunderstood you

now

you've no idea when oliver costello came

back here or what he came for i simply

can't imagine perhaps to see your

husband oh no i'm sure he didn't you see

henry and he never liked each other oh

had there been a quarrel between oh no

no no they hadn't quarreled it was just

that

henry thought he wore the wrong shoes

you know how odd men are he didn't come

back here to see you me oh no i'm sure

he didn't

is there anybody else in the house he

might have wanted to see

i can't think who i mean who is that

oliver costello

comes here

returns the articles which the first mrs

hailstone brown had taken away

he says goodbye

then he comes back here presumably

through that window he's killed his

body's pushed into that recess all in

the space of about uh 10 20 minutes and

nobody hears anything i know it's

extraordinary isn't it are you sure you

didn't hear anything quite sure

it really is fantastic almost too

fantastic

that's all mrs houston

not that way

oh i think really i'd rather join the

others later

what about the other woman that miss

pique i put her on the spare room

medicine terrible time i had with it

laughing and crying something terrible

she wants it doesn't matter if mrs hb

talks to her but not to those three

there you lock the door from the library

into the hall oh yes sir i've got the

key here good now we'll have them in one

at a time oh but first i'd like to speak

to that uh butler chap

yes

call him in i've got a feeling he knows

something yes indeed

hey again

come here please

sit down hogan

now

you started off with the pictures this

evening but you came back

why was that i've told you before my

wife wasn't feeling very well it was you

who let costello into the house when he

came this evening yes why didn't you

tell us at once that it was his car

outside because i didn't know sir mr

costello didn't drive up to the front

door i didn't know that he'd come in a

car rather peculiar right yes sir

i expect he had his reasons just what

you mean by that nothing sir nothing at

all

ever seen this man costello before never

sir

how long have you been with mrs houston

brown

six weeks huh

before that i don't

i've been having a little rest a rest

you realize that in a case like this

your references will have to be looked

into very carefully

would that be altar

i wouldn't wish to deceive you sir it

wasn't anything really wrong you see

well the original references having got

torn i couldn't quite remember the

wording so you wrote them yourself

that's what it comes to well i didn't

mean any harm i've got my living room at

the moment i'm not interested in fake

references i want to know what happened

here tonight and what you know about

oliver costello never said eyes on him

before

like a good idea why he came here oh why

blackmail

he had something on her

on mrs helsing brown yes i came in here

to ask if anything was wanted and i

heard her say but that's blackmail and

i'll not submit to it

[Music]

very unpleasant business i'm afraid mr

burch

what have you to say about it

nothing nothing well what'd you expect

me to say the blinking woman snapped her

from the blinking cupboard and outpours

a blinking corpse

took my breath away

and got over it yet

there's nobody asking me anything you

know because i don't know anything

that's your statement is it sir you know

nothing at all about it well i didn't

kill a fellow i didn't even know him you

didn't know him but you've heard of him

i heard he was a nasty bit of goods and

what kind of way

well kind of fellow that women like men

have no use for

you've no idea why he should come back

to the house a second time this evening

not a clue anything uh between him and

the present mrs houston brown do you

think clarissa good god no clarissa's

got a lot of sense she wouldn't look

twice at a fellow like that so uh you

can't help us

sorry but they did

you had no idea that there was a body

concealed in that recess

of course not

thank you sir

what that's all thank you sir

this way please

he was a mine of information wouldn't he

mind you not very nice for a jp to be

mixed up in a

[Music]

your name murder jeremy warren address

340 broad street in 34 graveness square

country address heppelston wheelchair a

gentleman of independent means no i'm

private secretary stein those are his

addresses how long have you been with

him about a year

did you uh

know this man

oliver costello heard of him till

tonight

you didn't meet him when he came to the

house early this evening what no i'd

gone over to the golf club with the

others

we were dining there you see it was the

servant's night out and mr burch asked

us if we'd dine with him at the club was

mrs hilschel brown asked too no

what that is she could have come if

she'd liked she was asking and she

refused no

no what i mean is well hails from brown

is usually quite tired when he gets down

here in the evenings and so clarissa

said that they just have a scratch meal

here as usual so mrs hails from brown

expected her husband to dine here she

didn't expect him to go out again as

soon as he came in

well i really don't know

no i believe she did say that he was

going to be out this evening

seems odd then that mrs helsham brown

should not have come out to the club

instead of remaining here to dine all by

herself

well it was the kid

clarissa wouldn't like to go out to

leave the kid all by herself in the

house or perhaps she was making plans to

receive a visitor of their own

i say that's a rotten thing to say and

it isn't true

oliver costello came here to meet

someone the servants were out miss pique

has her own cottage there really is no

one else he could have come here to meet

except mrs harrison brown

all i can say is you ask her i have

asked her and what did you say

just what you said mr warren there you

are then

now

tell me how you all happened to come

back here from the club was that the

original plan yes i mean no which do you

mean sir but it was like this we all

went over to the club as roland and old

hugo went straight into the dining room

and i came in a bit later it's all cold

buffet you know i'd be knocking balls

about till it got dark and then someone

said

bridge

and i said

well why don't we come back and play

here

so we did i see so it was your idea

i don't remember who suggested it first

hugo birch i think

and you arrived back here when

i can't say exactly probably left the

clubhouse just a bit before eight and

what it's about uh five minutes walk

just about the golf course adjoins this

garden

and then you played bridge

yes that must have been about 20 minutes

before my arrival surely you had time to

complete two rubbers of bridge and start

a third what

oh no no that first rubber must have

been from yesterday's score

only one person seems to have scored

yes i'm afraid we're all a bit lazy

about scoring we left it to clarissa

did you know about the passageway

between mr roman the library no no i had

no idea wonderful bit of camouflage

isn't it you never guess consequently

you couldn't know that there was a body

concealed there could you you could have

knocked me over with a feather as the

saying goes absolute blood and thunder

melodrama couldn't believe my eyes use

your gloves mr warren no

i mean yes you were wearing them when

you came back from the golf club yes

there's a bit of a nip in the air this

evening i think you're mistaken these

have mr hailstone brown's initials

inside them

funny i've got a pair just the same

these perhaps

ah well you don't catch me out a second

time after all one pair of gloves looks

pretty much like another three pairs of

gloves all with hail some browns

initials inside them curious

it is his house after all the only

interesting thing about them is that you

thought one pair might have been yours

whereas i think your gloves are just

sticking out of your pocket now

no

the other pocket

[Music]

here we are stein so lazarus

chairman

recreations volatility golf fishing

dress

what you got there oh it's just a card

sir i found it under the sofa there ace

of spades very interesting card

here wait a minute

red

same pack

oh well

no ace of spades

now that's very remarkable don't you

think jones

oh yes sir it's very remarkable indeed

as we were finishing dinner at the golf

club

mrs harrison brown rang up and suggested

that as her husband that had

unexpectedly regard

we three should come back here and make

up a four for bridge we did that about

20 minutes after we had started playing

you arrived inspector

the rest you know that's not quite mr

warren's account of the matter oh really

you said that the suggestion to play at

bridge came from one of you three mr

birch you thought

obviously wander came back into the

dining room rather late he didn't

realize that mrs helgen brown had rung

up

the dead man oliver costello came to

this house with some particular object

in mind do you agree to that sir oh

absolutely he came back here to return

certain objects which the first mrs

harrison brown had taken away

that may have been his excuse it came

perhaps to see a particular person may

have been mr warrander or mr burch

wanted to see mr burt surely he would

have gone to berch's house so that

leaves us with the choice of four people

you mr warren mr and mrs from brown now

how well did you know oliver costello oh

i did all i met him once or twice that's

all where did you meet him twice at the

hessian bronze in london and once i

believe in a restaurant but you had no

particular reason for wishing to murder

him

is that an accusation inspector

no sir roland

i'd call it more of an elimination

i don't think you have any motive for

doing away with oliver costello

so that leaves three people we'll take

uh mr warrander how well do you know him

oh no i met him here for the first time

two days ago

i know nothing about him inspector but i

should have said an unlikely murderer so

much for mr warren

that brings me to my next question

how well do i know henry halsham brown

and mrs herrera

henry herschel brown i know very well

indeed he's an old friend

of carissa

i know all there is to know

she is my ward inspector

and inexpressibly dear to me

yes i think that answer makes certain

things very clear

does it indeed

why did you leave the club this evening

why did you come back here and pretend

to play bridge

pretend

this card was found on the other side of

the room under the sofa

i can hardly believe that you could have

played two rubbers of bridge and started

a third with a pack of 51 cards in the

ace of spades missing

[Music]

yes perhaps that is a little difficult

to believe i also think that three pairs

of mr helsham brown's gloves need a

certain amount of

explanation

i'm afraid you'll get no explanation

from me inspector no sir i take it that

you're out to do your best for a certain

lady

but it's no good sir mrs helsion brown

knew the body was in that recess whether

she dragged it there herself or whether

you helped her i don't know but she knew

now

i suggest oliver costello came to this

house to meet mrs hales from brown and

to obtain money from her by threats

threats threats of what and that'll come

out no doubt mrs helsham brown's young

attractive gay

this mr costello was attractive to the

ladies they say

now uh mrs hales from brown's newly

married inspector i think i must put you

right on certain matters

henry hershey brown's first marriage was

unfortunate

his wife miranda was a beautiful woman

but unstable and neurotic her health and

disposition

finally degenerated to such a degree

that her little daughter had to be taken

away to a nursing home

it seems that she had become a drug

addict

now how she obtained those drugs was

never found out

but it was generally believed that they

were supplied to her by this man oliver

costillo

she became infatuated with him and

finally ran away with him

henry hessenbrand allowed her to divorce

him he's somewhat old-fashioned in his

views

he has now found peace and happiness in

his marriage with clarissa and i can

assure you inspector that there are no

guilty secrets in clarissa's life

there is nothing i can swear

with which oliver costello could

possibly threaten her

now don't you think inspector that you

may be on the wrong track

why are you so certain that it was a

person that costello came here to see

why could it not have been a place what

do you mean sir well you mentioned that

the late mr sullivan may have been

involved with drugs

isn't there a possible link there

drugs selling sellers house

supposing oliver costello wanted

something in this house

in that desk perhaps

now supposing that someone followed him

down here and that that someone struck

him down there by that desk there's a

great deal of supposition in what you

say

any reasonable hypothesis i think the

hypothesis being that this someone knew

the body was in the recess exactly that

would mean someone who knew about the

recess ah someone who knew about it in

silence time

that's all very well sir

but it doesn't explain one thing

oh really what is that mrs hailstone

brown knew the body was in that recess

she tried to prevent us looking there

she knew

inspector will you allow me to speak to

my ward

only in my presence sir

that'll do jones

we are very much in your hands inspector

i will ask you to make what allowances

you can come in

there is an idea will you do what i ask

you

tell the inspector the truth

the truth the truth

is the only thing to do

sit down mrs helson brown

i'm sorry

i'm terribly sorry i told you all those

lies i didn't mean to one gets into

things if you know what i mean i can't

say that i do know now please give us

the facts

well

it's all quite simple really you see

oliver left then henry came home uh then

he went off again in the car

then i came in here with the sandwiches

sandwiches yes you see my husband's

bringing home a very important delegate

from abroad who is this delegate a mr

jones

i put the sandwiches down there and then

i took a book and put it back on the

bookshelf

and

then then i practically fell over it you

fell over the body yes it was there

behind the sofa

i looked to see if it if he was dead and

he was

so i rang up the golf club and i asked

sir roland mr birch and jeremy warren to

come over didn't occur to you to

telephone the police oh it occurred to

me yes but then well i didn't you didn't

why not

well

i didn't think it would be very nice for

my husband

you see people in the foreign office

like everything very quiet not

noticeable you must admit that murders

are noticeable quite so i'm so glad you

understand

i mean he was quite dead because i felt

his pulse and i thought he might just as

well be dead in marsden ward as in our

drawing room marston where's marston

would come into it oh that's what i was

thinking of putting him

you realize the seriousness of what

you're saying oh yes i do and i'm

telling you the truth

so you see i rang up the club and they

all came over

and you persuaded them to hide the body

and recess oh no that came later my plan

was that they should take the body in

oliver's car to marsden wood

and they agreed they agreed

frankly mrs helsing brown i don't

believe a word of it i knew you wouldn't

believe me if i tell you the truth i can

see only one reason why those three men

should agree to lie if they believe or

knew

that you'd killed him

oh but i had no reason for killing him

absolutely no reason

i knew you'd react this way that's what

that's why what

no dear

i thought i was being so clever

what really happened here tonight

well

it all started as i explained

i said goodbye to oliver and he went off

with miss peak then my husband came home

explaining that he'd have to go out

again almost immediately

and he was just as i was shutting the

front door

but i suddenly began to feel nervous no

that's why

well it occurred to me that i'd never

been alone in the house at night

well

well i i told myself not to be so silly

but i still kept thinking i heard a door

shutting somewhere footsteps in my

bedroom

so i thought i better do something yes

well i went into the kitchen to make the

sandwiches for henry and mr jones

then i really heard something where in

this room

i knew then that this time i wasn't

imagining it i heard drawers being

pulled open and shut then i suddenly

remembered the window in here wasn't

blocked someone had come in that way

well go on mrs holsenbroe well i was

petrified i didn't know what to do so

then i thought of a plan yes i went to

the hall stand and i took out the

heaviest stick i could find i went into

the library i didn't turn on the light i

felt my way across the room to that

recess

i opened it very gently and i slipped

inside

unless you knew about it you never

dreamed there was a door just there no

you certainly wouldn't well i eased the

catch open

but then my finger slipped the door

swung right open and hit against the

chair

a man who was standing by the desk

straightened up i saw something bright

and shining in his hand i thought it was

a revolver i was petrified i thought he

was going to shoot me so i hit out him

with a stick with all my mighty fell

oh

could i have little brandy please oh yes

yes cool

thank you

do you feel able to continue mrs hilton

brown yes thank you you're very kind

the man just lay there

he didn't move

i turned the light on and i saw then

that it was oliver costello and he was

dead

oh it was horrible

i was so frightened i rang up the golf

club i wanted my guardian

i begged him to come over and they all

did and then i asked them to help me to

take the body away somewhere but why

because i was a coward a miserable

coward i was frightened of the publicity

of having to go to a police court and i

thought it would be so bad for my

husband and for his career and

i just felt i couldn't go through with

it perhaps because uh the dead man had a

short while before attempted to

blackmail you

blackmail me oh that's nonsense there's

nothing anybody could blackmail me about

elgin the butler overheard a mention of

blackmail i don't believe he had

anything of a kind if you ask me he's

just making the whole thing up oh come

now mrs helsing brown uh are you

deliberately telling me that the word

blackmail was never used i swear it

wasn't i should

oh

of course that's silly that was it you

remembered

oh well it was nothing really

it was just that oliver was saying

something about the rent of furnished

houses being absurdly high and i said

we'd been amazingly lucky and we were

only paying four guineas a week for this

and he said clarissa i can hardly

believe it what's your pull it must be

blackmail and i laughed and said that's

it blackmail i'm sorry mrs houston brown

but i really can't believe that can't

believe what but you're only paying four

goodies a week furnished here

you really are the most unbelieving man

i've ever met

most things i can't prove but this one i

can

this time i'm going to show you

here it is

oh no it isn't ah here we are

you see

the agreement for a furnished tenancy

four guinness a week

well i'm blessed

it's extraordinary

well

i apologize mrs helson brown but it

really is extremely odd why

well

it so happens that a lady and gentleman

came down here with orders to view this

house and uh the lady happened to lose a

very valuable broach she called in at

the police station to give particulars

and she happened to mention this house

she said they were asking an absurd

price for it she thought 18 guineas a

week for a house right in the country

and miles away from anywhere it was

ridiculous i agreed with that

oh i understand why you were skeptical

but perhaps now you'll believe some of

the other things i told you

i'm not doubting your final story mrs

helson brown we usually know the truth

when we hear it

but what i can't understand is who

telephoned the police

at least i'd forgotten that clearly it

wasn't you and it wouldn't be any of the

three gentlemen elgin

miss pique no not miss pig she didn't

know the body was there because i wonder

why when the body was discovered she had

aesthetics oh anyone can have hysterics

anyway she doesn't live here she has her

own cottage you could have been in the

house she has keys to all the doors

uh it seems to me more like elgin who

telephoned

you won't send me to prison will you

it's a good job you changed your story

in time and told the truth madam

i couldn't keep away any longer is it

all right inspector do you understand uh

really i've totally inspected everything

how i thought it was a burglar and i hit

him on the head and then i got in a

dreadful flap so i rang you up and i

asked you to help me and i begged and

begged you and at last you gave in i see

now how wrong of me it was but at the

time i was just scared stiff and i

thought it would be cluesier for me and

henry and even miranda if oliver's body

was found in marsden wood so what have

you been saying mrs helsing brown has

made a very full statement sir

so it seems it'll lead to far less

trouble in the end

now um mrs hoesenbrunn

i shan't ask you to go into the recess

while the body's there but i'd like you

to show me exactly where the man was

standing when you came through that way

oh yes

well

he was um

uh no

he was standing like this i see

right james

and then the door opened

and you came through that way and

[Music]

where's the body

[Music]

sucks to you

i'm really very sorry real inspector

lord bring me all this rail a wild goose

chase but i can assure you doctor we did

have a body expect us right doctor we

did have a body

i'm not wasting any more time

you'll hear more about this inspector

lord

now then elgin i know nothing about it

sir i assure you nothing at all

who can have spread it away

do you think jeremy managed it somehow

well i don't see how he could have done

they didn't allow anyone to go back into

the library and the door from the

library to the hall was shut

i say peppa's sucks to you was the last

straw wasn't it still it does tell us

one thing costello had opened that

secret drawer

teresa why didn't you tell the inspector

the truth i did except for the part

about pippa he didn't believe me why did

you have to tell him all that niceness

well it seemed to me the most likely

thing the inspector would believe and he

has believed me it's a nice mess you're

in now aren't you manslaughter for all

we know self-defense pushing us around

here and there now it seems they've gone

and lost the body damn funny i call it

it's fantastic the whole thing is

fantastic

who rang up the police and said they'd

been a murder here elgin

that peak woman but why it doesn't make

sense

because

no bobby's about

they seem to be all swarming all over

the place they say in the house and the

grounds

the body it's gone i see

disappearing body eh are you feeling

better mr speaker oh yes yes i'm alright

pretty tough really you know just turn

me over for a moment finding that body i

must admit

i wondered if perhaps you knew it was

there

who me yes you but it doesn't mean sense

why take the body away we all know

there's a body there we know it's

identity and everything there's no point

in it oh i wouldn't say that mr birch

you've got to have a body you know

habeas corpus and all that remember i

mean you've got to have a body before

you can make a charge of murder against

anyone

so don't you worry mrs helgenbaum

everything's going to be all right

do you mean i've kept my eyes open this

evening haven't spent all my time on the

spare room bed you know

never did like that elgin or his wife

listening at doors running to the police

with stories about blackmail so you

heard what i say is stand by your own

sex

so only one thing to do

get rid of the body and let the police

chase their tails looking for it

pretty smart work if i say so myself do

me just say it was you

well we are all friends here aren't we

yes i move the body

locking the door again of course i've

got the keys to all the doors in this

house but how where

where did you put it with the spare room

bed of course you know

the four poster

right across the head of the bed under

the bolster then i remade the bed and

lay down on top of it but

how did you get the body up to the spare

room you couldn't manage it all by

yourself you'd be surprised good old

farmers left slung it over my shoulder

but supposing you had met someone on the

stairs ah but i didn't the police were

in here with mrs helsham brown and you

three were in the dining room so i

grabbed my chance and of course a bonnie

took it through the hall locked the

library door again and popped it

upstairs to the spare room well upon my

soul but he can't stay there forever

oh no not forever of course mrs helsham

run 24 hours though by that time the

police are finished with the house and

grounds they'll be looking further

afield

now

i've been thinking

this morning i dug a nice deep trench

right

we'll bury the body there and plant a

double row of celery right along it

well unfortunately misspeak grave

digging is no longer a matter of a

private enterprise

you men such sticklers we've got more

sense we can even take murder in our

stride a mrs helgen brown of course she

didn't kill him don't believe a word of

it

well she didn't who did

peppa

what are you doing out of bed

i came down

i'm so frightfully hungry and you said

you bring this up i thought you were

asleep

i was asleep

and i thought a policeman came in and

looked at me

i'd been having an awful dream

and then i half woke up

and then i was hungry so i thought i'd

come down

excuse me

i'll just take a peep and see how the

boys in blue are getting on

besides

i thought it might be true

thought what might be true

a whole dream about

oliver what was your horrible dream

about oliver pipper tell me

i made this tonight

i melted down a wax candle and i made a

pin red hot

and i stuck it through it

good lord

i said the right words and everything i

couldn't do quite as the book said what

book i didn't understand here it is

she's got it in the market today she

called it a recipe book

and you said

can you eat it

100 tried and trusty spells

how to cure warts how to get your

heart's desire

how to destroy your enemy

is that what you did

yes it isn't very like oliver

and i couldn't get any clippings of his

hair

just like him as i could make it

and then

then i dreamed

i thought i came down here

he was there

it was all true he was there

dead

i had killed him is it true did i kill

him no darling no

he was there yes because we're dying he

was there but but you you didn't kill

him now now listen to me when you stuck

the pin into that backs figure it was

your hatred and your fear of oliver that

you wanted to kill isn't that true

yes yes it's true but i saw him i came

down here and i saw him lying there dead

i did see him yesterday you did see him

but you didn't kill him now listen

oliver was hit over the head with a big

stick now you didn't do that did you

no not a stick

you mean a goal stick like jeremy had no

paper not a golf club that big stick

that's kept in the whole stand oh the

one that belonged to mr selling the miss

peak calls a note kerry hmm well i

wouldn't do anything like that

i couldn't

one karate i wouldn't have killed him

really no of course you wouldn't now

come on darling put your feet up and

forget all about it

as you

you thought the people yesterday

that explained it

good god

well you better go to the police bro

she's already told three stories

what was the name of mr selland's shop

it was an antique shop yes i knew that

what was it called

what do you mean what was it cool oh you

are being difficult you've said it

earlier and i want you to say it again

what was written up outside the door

i've written up

well what should be written out

but only selling them brown at last

sellin and brown

my name is hailsham brown

we got this house dirt cheap

people who came to see it before us

are such an exorbitant rent that they

went away and discussed now have you got

there

no

not yet last dimly yes mr sellen's

partner was a woman today somebody rang

up and asked to speak to mrs brown not

mrs hales from brown just mrs brown yes

i see what you're getting at well i

don't a horse chestnut or a chestnut

horse one of them makes all the

difference clara say you're not

delirious or anything are you dear

somebody killed oliver i wasn't any of

you three it wasn't me or henry it

wasn't pippa thank god then who was it

it was as i said the inspector someone

on the outside someone followed all of

it down here yes but why did they now

when i left you today at the gate i came

back and in through that window oliver

was standing near the desk he was very

surprised to see me he said clarissa

what are you doing here i just thought

it was an elaborate way of annoying me

but supposed it was just what it seemed

he was surprised he thought this house

belonged to somebody else he thought the

person he'd find here would be the mrs

brown who was mr celen's partner yes but

wouldn't he have known that you and

henry had this wouldn't miranda have

known when miranda has to communicate

she always does it through a lawyer no

oliver had no idea he was going to see

me oh he recovered pretty quickly and

made some excuse that he'd come to talk

about pippa

and then he pretended to go away but he

came back because he the head's still on

they've looked under all the beds i

gather and now they're searching the

grounds mr speak

do you remember what mr costello said

just before he left

and the faintest idea he said didn't he

i came to see mrs brown

oh i believe he did yes why but it

wasn't me he came to see well if it

wasn't you i don't know who it was it

was you

you're mrs brown aren't you

that's very bright of you

yes i am mrs brown you're mr selman's

partner you own this house you inherited

it with the business

you had the idea of getting a tenant

whose name was brown but in the end you

had to compromise on hail schonbrunn

now i don't know why you wanted me in

the limelight while you watched i don't

understand the ins and outs charles

selland was murdered

he got hold of something very valuable

i don't know how i don't even know what

it was it wasn't always very scrupulous

so we have heard but whatever it was he

was killed for it

and whoever killed him didn't find the

thing

probably because it wasn't in the shop

it was here in this house

i thought that whoever had killed him

would come back sooner or later and i

wanted to be on the watch

therefore i had to have a dummy mrs

brown it didn't worry that mrs helsham

brown a perfectly innocent woman would

be in danger well i have kept my eye on

her haven't i so much so that it's

annoyed you all at times

and then the other day when a man came

along and offered her a ridiculous price

for that desk i was sure i was on the

right track

and yet i'll swear there was nothing in

that desk that meant anything at all

have you tried the secret drawer

secret door is there one there's nothing

there now pippa found the drawer but

there were only some old autographs in

it clarissa

i'd rather like to see those autographs

again oh pippa where did you

she's asleep fast asleep it's all the

excitement

shall i take her up to bed no

i think she'll be safer where she is

safer safer

that is what i said

that child said a very significant thing

just now

what did she say if you all think back

perhaps you realize it

i don't get it what did you say um the

policeman

coming down here

half a week come on don't be so damn

mysterious what is all this

those autographs where are they

ah

now i seem to remember pippa putting

them in that shell box over there

right

here they are

victoria r fatty browning john ruskin

that looks authentic to me

robert browning

here's why paper not as old as ought to

be really what do you mean well i had

some experience of invisible link and

that sort of thing during the war now if

you wanted to make a secret note of

something it wasn't a bad idea to write

it down in invisiblink on a sheet of

paper and then fake an autograph in real

link over the top of it now

mix that autograph with other genuine

autographs and nobody would notice the

difference any more than we did but what

could charles selin have written that

was worth fourteen thousand pounds it

occurred to me miss big but it might

have been a question of safety

safety oliver costello is suspected of

supplying drugs charles helen was

questioned by the drug squad there's a

possible link there don't you think

now a little gentle heat might do the

trick shall we try the experiment oh

jeremy will you get the electric fire

from the

library this takes me back years i

remember writing secret messages with

lemon juice when i was a child

i can't bear it if nothing happens

yes there is something this is something

coming up let me see with me don't don't

juggle me but

i mean we've got it what have you got a

list of six names and addresses

distributors in the drug record i should

say and one of those names is

is other costello oliver so that's why

he came and somebody must have followed

him relieving his tell me come on this

is the most extraordinary thing

are you coming miss peak

you don't want me do you oh i think so

after all you were selling's partner oh

but i knew nothing about the drug

business i handled the antique side did

all the london buying and selling

i see

so

[Music]

hello jeremy

i remember what it said so i thought

perhaps we wouldn't believe paper by

herself

her feet seemed a bit cold so i was just

covering them up always exciting does

they be terribly hungry

jeremy you've eaten them all sorry i was

starving

you see why you should be you've had

dinner i haven't

i haven't had dinner either

i was practicing approach shots i only

went in for dinner just after your

telephone call came oh i see

i see you

what do you mean

you do you mean by you

what were you doing with that cushion

when i came into the room

i was covering peppa's feet up they were

cold were you

is that really what you were doing or

were you going to put that cushion over

her mouth

closer i said none of us could have

killed him but one of us could you

you were on the golf course all alone

you could have come back to the house in

through the library window which you

left open you had your golf club still

in your hand that's what people saw

that's what she meant when she said a

golf stick like jeremy had she saw you

that's nonsense

no it isn't then you went back to the

club rang up the police so that they

would come here find the body and think

it was henry or i would kill him

absolute

i know rubbish true

but why that's why i don't understand

why

[Music]

yes

that's the envelope the autographs were

in

there's a stamp on it

it's what's known as an error stamp

printed in the wrong color

one from sweden sold last year for 14

300 pounds

so that's it

the stamp came into celen's possession

he wrote to my boss about it

i opened the letter

[Music]

i came down and

saw a seller and killed him

but you couldn't find the stamp

no

it wasn't in the shops i felt sure it

must be here

and tonight i thought costello had

beaten me to it so you killed him too

and just now you can kill pippa

why not

can't believe it

my dear clarissa 14 000 pounds is a

great deal of money

why are you telling me all this

do you imagine that i won't go to the

police

i'll never believe you oh yes they will

besides you're not going to get the

chance

do you think when

[Music]

give me that envelope

that's all the evidence we need

a trap

very clever

jeremy warren i arrest you for the

murder of oliver costello and i must

warn you that anything you say may be

taken down and given in evidence you can

save your breath inspector it was a good

gamble take him away

forgotten your handcuffs mr jones

are you all right sir

yes yes i'm all right i didn't mean to

expose you to this

you knew it was jeremy didn't you but

what made you think about the stamp sir

well it rang a bell when pippa showed me

this envelope this evening and then when

i read and who's true that sir lazarus

stein was a stamp collector my suspicion

grew and finally when warned i had the

impertinence to pocket this emblem in

front of my nose i felt it was a

certainty

take great care of it inspector you may

find it extremely valuable besides being

evidence it's evidence all right a

particularly vicious young criminal is

going to get his desserts

however

we've still got to find the body

oh that's easy inspector look in the

spare room bed not really mrs hilton

brown why does nobody ever believe me it

isn't a spare room bed under the bolster

miss peek put it there trying to be kind

trying to be

you know you you haven't made things

easier for us tonight

i suppose you thought your husband had

done it and were lying to cover up for

him but you really shouldn't do it madam

you really shouldn't

it's time you were in bed

i'm hungry yes yes we'll see what we can

find good about my darling

ah can i help you closer no thank you we

can manage

god bless my soul

i have never believed it i mean he

seemed a decent enough sort of fella sir

roland i thought i'd just tell you they

want me to go down to the police station

i've got to make a statement they're not

very happy about the trick i played on

them i mean for a wigging i'm afraid

you know really my voice still a bit

confused now was miss peak

mrs sellen or was mr seller mr brown or

the other way around

we're removing the body now sir ah yes

inspector

would you advise mrs hilton brown that

if she tells these fancy stories to the

police one day she'll get into real

trouble well she did tell you the truth

once you know inspector and you wouldn't

believe her yes

well it was a bit difficult to swallow

sir you'll admit oh yes i admit that not

that i'm blaming you sir mrs hailstone

brown is a lady with a very taking way

with him

good night good night spectrum good

night mr bird well done well done

inspector well done thank you sir

well now

well no i think i'm just getting off to

bed now

so i'm evening hey rosie i'm evening

good night dear boy good night good

night ah

good night clarissa good night hugo

darling

i'm so clever too you're a very lucky

young woman it's a good thing you didn't

lose your heart to that young man if i

lost my heart to anyone darling it would

be to you no no no no your tricks with

me

henry hello

rolly thought you were at the club uh

guess well i i

i thought i'd turn in early rather a

strenuous evening bridge

yes bridge and

other things

where's color uh mr jones

didn't come what

oh the plane arrived with nothing but a

half-baked ada coined it first thing he

did was turn around and fly straight

back where he'd come from why how do i

know

suspicious it seems suspicious of what i

ask you

where's the john no that's the worst of

it you'll be arriving down any minute

now i expect of course i rang it once

from the aerodrome but it already

started oh the whole thing is almost

ghastly fiasco

where i'll go maybe the police

the police yes yes this is carlson court

uh yes he is here darlings for you

finally he there

hello

yes speaking

what

10 minutes later

well shall i

yes

yes yes

oh no no no

oh you have

yes i see

right

claudia

ah

another plane came in 10 minutes after

the first and kalindorf was on it mr

jones you mean quite right darling one

can't be too careful it seems that the

first plane was some kind of security

precaution really one can't fathom how

these people's minds work anyway they're

sending him over right away with an raf

escort he'll be here in about a quarter

of an hour now is everything all right

get rid of those cards will you

what's this

oh when pippa was eating it i'll get rid

of it when i'll make some more ham

sandwiches no not yet the chairs

i thought you were going to have

everything ready what have we been doing

all these well i've had the most

terribly exciting evening you see i came

in here with some sandwiches just after

you here and the first thing that

happened was i fell over there behind

the sofa telling your story is always

enchanting but really there isn't time

no but henry it's true

and that was only the beginning the

police came and then it was just one

thing after another there was a drugs

ring when miss pika doesn't misspeak at

all she's really mrs brown oh uh the

murderer turned out to be jeremy warren

he was looking for a stamp worth

good

[Music]

so

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

you