Original subtitles

[orchestral music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

["Look To The Rainbow"]

♪ On the day I was born

♪ Said me father said he

♪ I've an elegant legacy

♪ Waiting for ye

♪ 'Tis a rhyme for your lip

♪ And a song for your heart

♪ To sing it whenever

♪ The world falls apart

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow it over

♪ The hill and stream

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Who follows a dream

♪ 'Twas a sumptuous gift

♪ To bequeath to a child

♪ For the lure of that song

♪ Keeps me head running wild

♪ 'Tis a rhyme for me lip

♪ And a song for me heart

♪ And I sing it whenever

♪ The world falls apart

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow it over

♪ The hill and stream

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Who follows a dream

[music continues]

♪ So I bundled me heart

♪ And I roamed the world free

♪ To the east with the light

♪ To the west with the sea

♪ And I searched all the earth

♪ And I scanned all the skies

♪ But I found it at last

♪ In my own true love's eyes

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow it over

♪ The hill and stream

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Who follows a dream

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Who follows a dream ♪

[siren wailing]

Eureka!

Sharon, come quickly.

- So what is it now, father? - We-we're here.

It's journey's end. Our destination at last.

Thank merciful heaven. Now I can sit me down.

No, you can't sit you down.

It's the hill beyond yon hill.

I've been hearing about the hill beyond yon hill

ever since we left Ireland.

[siren wailing]

[chatter]

Keep your distance.

Don't crowd around. Clear the way.

- Step aside. - What's going on here?

They're gonna have some kind of an auction.

A what?

They're gonna have it today.

Sheriff, if you gonna get this auction started now, ain't ya?

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Now, wait a minute!

You-you can't have an auction without first

talking to Susan Mahoney.

- Why not? - Henry, go get Susan.

Because her brother owns this property, that's why not.

(sheriff) I-I beg your pardon.

The law states this property belongs to anybody

'who's got the money to pay the back taxes, and that's me.'

(female #1) You mean, Senator Rawkins has it.

You're just his stooge.

(female #2) And Woody don't like stooges.

- Who's Woody? - He's Susan's brother.

(male #1) 'He's nothing but a trouble-making con man.'

(female #1) 'He is not! Woody's president and general sales manager'

'of the Rainbow Valley Tobacco Cooperative.'

(male #1) 'Incorporated.'

- 'What's that?' - Us!

- 'They're sharecroppers.' - 'Sure are.'

That's how come we're all gonna get rich together.

(female #1) Woody promised me personally.

Susan's trying to tell you something.

Well, I'm listening.

What she say, Henry?

She says Woody's coming.

- Woody. - Woody?

I didn't hear her say anything.

Naturally, she was born silent.

One of the few women ever was.

Sure, mister. She don't do "Talk" talk.

She does foot talk.

Foot talk? That's ridiculous.

What's she saying now?

She says you gotta wait for Woody.

He's bringing the money.

[chatter]

Quiet!

Tax sale gonna start now.

It's alright. It's alright. Woody's coming.

[hens clucking]

Woody's coming.

Woody's coming. Woody's coming.

[all chanting] Woody's coming. Woody's coming.

Woody's coming. Woody's coming.

Woody's coming. Woody's coming. Woody's coming. Woody's coming.

Woody's coming. Woody's coming.

Woody's coming. Woody's coming.

Woody's coming. Woody's coming.

Woody's coming. Woody's coming.

It's my duty to protect the people of Rainbow Valley.

Who from?

From the people of Rainbow Valley.

["This Time Of The Year"]

Hear ye, hear ye.

We can't be bothered with the mortgage man..

♪ This time of the year

You'll be sorry interfering with the law.

♪ For spring don't care about the mortgage man ♪

♪ This time of the year

I'm giving you your last chance to get back your land.

♪ The dandelions in the dusky dell ♪

♪ Don't give a hoot in hell

♪ They're gonna smell without collateral ♪

♪ This time of the year ♪ This time

♪ This time of the year

♪ Sweet merry buds and elderberry buds ♪

♪ Don't give a good ding-ding-dang ♪

♪ Corn's shooting up fruit trees a-fruiting up ♪

♪ Go tell Rawkins to go hang-hang ♪

[cheering]

♪ Don't mess around here

♪ This time of the year

♪ You'll get it in the rear

♪ This time of the year

♪ Magnolias are sentimental

♪ Persimmons are queer

(sheriff) Keep your distance, now.

Give way, there.

You hear me? I said, keep your distance.

♪ Don't easily skeer

♪ They sprout without real estaters ♪

♪ This time of the year

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ That choo-choo's coming and it's mighty clear ♪

♪ Woo Woo Woody's here

♪ He's up there riding with the engineer ♪

♪ Yes Woody's here

♪ Just look at that choo-choo puffing ♪

♪ Let's give it a mighty cheer

♪ Just look at that engine huffing ♪

♪ Dang blast it all Woody's here ♪

♪ Woody's here

♪ Get a load of that whistle blowing ♪

♪ That whistle is good to hear

♪ It's wanting you to be knowing ♪

♪ Dang blast it all Woody's here ♪

♪ Woody's here

♪ Woody's here ♪

[train whistles]

And to think I let you whisk me out of Ireland

across an ocean and down a continent

in the sweet, green month of April.

And for what?

For a beautiful new life in a beautiful new land.

I thought we came here to cure your arthritis.

- You remember that? - Aye, that too, that too.

Well, it's just me that's cured of your arthritis.

It's all mythical. And so is that cure place

for it called Rainbow Valley.

Now you've gone just a bit too far.

Here I have it on me map

witnessed and endorsed by Rand and McNally.

Well, I don't know who Rand is

but I could never trust a McNally.

Ah, but you can always trust a McLonergan.

Aha. Ha ha ha ha.

Behold, that mythical land called Rainbow Valley.

[instrumental music]

Yoo-hoo!

Sharon, shake hands with a millionaire.

- A millionaire? - A multimillionaire.

Now what's happened to your arthritis?

Arthritis? Well, that's for the poor.

Finian McLonergan, I might've known you were up to something.

Now, will you stand still and listen to me?

Oh, I-I can't. I can't. Oh, no.

Ooh, ever since I was two years high

you've been seeing leprechauns in the cabbage patch

and rainbows over your whiskey jug.

Now, what pixified fancy of yours

has really brought us to America, huh?

You'll love it here.

You'll have everything you left behind in Glocca Morra.

[skylark singing]

You hear that? What did I tell you?

The same skylark music we have back in Ireland.

[skylark singing]

- Aye, a Glocca Morra skylark. - Aye.

["How Are Things In Glocca Morra?"]

♪ I hear a bird

♪ A Glocca Morra bird

♪ It well may be he's bringing me ♪

♪ A cheering word

♪ I hear a breeze

♪ A River Shannon breeze

♪ It well may be

♪ It's followed me across the seas ♪

♪ Then tell me

♪ Please

♪ How are things in Glocca Morra? ♪

♪ Is that little brook still leaping there? ♪

♪ Does it still run down to Donny Cove ♪

♪ Through Killybegs

♪ Kilkerry and Kildare?

♪ How are things in Glocca Morra? ♪

♪ Is that willow tree still weeping there? ♪

♪ Does that laddie with the twinkling eye ♪

♪ Come whistling by

♪ And does he walk away

♪ Sad and dreamy there

♪ Not to see me there?

♪ So I ask each weeping willow

♪ And each brook along the way

♪ And each lad that comes a-whistling ♪

♪ Too-ra-lay

♪ How are things

♪ In Glocca Morra

♪ This

♪ Fine

♪ Day? ♪

[sobs]

Oh, now, father.

Why are you crying?

Ah, it's that cheap Irish music.

[hen clucking]

Where is everybody?

Hello?

- Hello! - Shh.

[sighs] Where are all the children?

[birds chirping]

What the devil..

♪ Yes Woody's here

♪ He's up there riding with the engineer ♪

♪ Yes Woody's here

Someone's coming.

You better get up in that tree and take a look.

♪ Don't easily scare

♪ They'll sprout without real estaters ♪

♪ This time of the year

It's only the folk who live here, father.

America's full of gangsters, you know?

(Sharon) 'I thought you said it was full of millionaires.'

Don't argue.

♪ Can't be bothered with the mortgage man ♪

♪ This time of the year

Here, take this.

Oh!

♪ The spring don't care about the mortgage man ♪

♪ This time of the year

But it's.. It's gold.

Aye, it's a pot of gold.

And you stole it?

I never stole it. I borrowed it.

What.. Whom did you borrow it from?

- Why do you want to know? - So we can lend it back to him.

- That's why! - Well, it's impossible.

Why not?

Well, uh, because he's not mortal.

- You killed him? - Of course not.

He never was mortal. He's a leprechaun.

- A leprechaun? - Aye.

Who else would have gold in Ireland?

♪ They'll sprout without real estaters ♪

♪ This time of the year

♪ Now that Woody's here

♪ Now that Woody's here

♪ Now that Woody's here ♪

[chatter]

(Buzz) Now, don't think

that this is gonna stop the auction.

You gonna pay him off, Woody?

Hey, Howard, buddy, you just watch me.

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Ain't gonna have you making a burlesque of the law.

Why not? That's where the law spends most of its time.

Seen him in the front row last Monday night, Woody.

- Ha ha. Yes, you did! - It ain't true!

Ain't true!

Be quiet!

This is an unlawful assembly.

Well, then, this unlawful assembly

is gonna have to come to order.

Alright.

Read it.

[crowd gasps]

Read it.

"Rainbow Valley parcel lot number seven

"is hereby up for auction

"by reason of default of back taxes

'in the amount of $777.'"

- $777 going once. - Yes.

- $777 going twice. - Yes.

- $777 going three times. - Yes!

Sold to the Rainbow Valley

Tobacco Cooperative Incorporated.

[cheering]

Yeah! That's ol' Woody.

This covers it, except..

...the service charges, notary services

penalty points, penal points convertible debentures

miscellaneous and sundry add-on interest.

Another $77.

(Woody) 'No, it never said nothing about this'

in that bill you sent to my sister Susan.

Well, that's how it is with interest.

It don't make a sound.

It just keeps compounding.

Ain't you got the balance of the money?

I figure I'm good for it.

Ha! Cash!

Alright, come on, sheriff.

Wait a minute, give me a chance

to get my money back on this guitar.

It's too late for that.

Money don't grow on trees, you know.

It does for Woody.

[instrumental music]

[laughter]

(male #1) Hey, Buzz, say hello to Rawkins.

If Rawkins hears about this

we'll both be looking for new jobs.

Come on, sheriff!

[siren wailing]

Well, now.

What do we have here? It's an angel.

Shame on the frivolous likes of you, young man.

It's an Irish angel.

Your kith and kin here pinning their hopes on you

and you go squandering your money on a...on a music box.

- 'Nuh-uh.' - Ooh!

(Woody) I did it for them.

It's a community guitar.

Aye, and I'm sure that's how you'll be using it, on..

On every girl in the community.

Daughter, that's no way to be talking

to me future business partner.

"Partner?"

Well, now, you accepted me money

for back taxes, didn't you?

I intend to pay you back, pop.

Well, I don't want you to pay me back.

I just want me property rights.

How much land you figure you're entitled to?

Oh, an acre or so.

All I need is a parcel of land as big as me bag..

...on the closest point to Fort Knox.

We are in the vicinity of Fort Knox, are we not?

About two miles.

In fact, on a warm night you can smell the gold.

[laughing]

Have we a deal?

- Yeah. - Yeah!

- Yeah. - Yeah.

It's a deal.

Then give me your hand, son.

[spits]

[laughs]

- Welcome to Rainbow Valley. - Ha!

Home of what is about to be

the most prosperous tobacco

company in this whole state.

(Finian) 'And I'll wager that.'

[instrumental music]

What's your name?

Sharon McLonergan.

Mine's Woody Mahoney.

Mahoney. It's fate.

How'd you get so pretty?

And so rich?

Well, you see, back in Glocca Morra

where we come from, there's an old legend.

And it says..

"You'll never grow old and you'll never grow poor

if you look to the rainbow beyond the next moor."

- That's a lovely legend. - Aye.

Wonder who thought it up.

Me father. Finian McLonergan.

["Look To The Rainbow"]

♪ On the day she was born

♪ Said her father said he

♪ I've an elegant legacy waiting for ye ♪

♪ 'Tis a rhyme for your lip

♪ And a song for your heart

♪ To sing it whenever

♪ The world falls apart

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow it over

♪ The hill and stream

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Who follows a dream

♪ So I bundled me heart

♪ And I roamed the world free

♪ To the east with the lark

♪ To the west with the sea

♪ And I searched all the earth

♪ And I scanned all the skies

♪ But I found it at last

♪ In my own true love's eyes

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow it over

♪ The hill and stream

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Who follows a dream

Follow the fellow.

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Who follows a dream ♪

[instrumental music]

(male #1) 'Hee-yah!'

'Hee-yah!'

(male #2) 'Yee-hee-hee-hoo!'

'Yee-hah!'

'Yipee!'

[music continues]

'Yee-hah!'

[cheering]

[music continues]

(all) Bye.

[Finian whistling]

[gate creaking]

[crickets chirping]

[howling]

Father.

Young lady, now, what would you be doing up

at this hour of the night?

I'm taking care of you.

Any time the moon is full

you can be sure McLonergan will be, too.

You go back to bed.

Where are you going with that bag and shovel?

Now, will you leave me be if I tell you?

(Sharon) 'Aye.'

Then let me ask you this.

What do you think makes America different from Ireland?

It has more Irishmen.

[chuckles]

It has more money.

Everyone in America is rich.

But, father, are there no poor in America?

No ill-housed and no ill-clad?

Of course.

But they're the best ill-housed

and the best ill-clad

in all the world.

Why? "Why?" I ask.

And there's no man with wit enough to tell me.

So I'll tell you.

Quote me-self. Quote.

Didn't the Americans rush to dig gold from the ground

in California in 1849?

Well, so I've heard.

And didn't they plant it in the soil

at Fort Knox a hundred years later?

- Granted. - Well, that's it.

You see, there's something about the soil

in and around Fort Knox

that gives a magical quality to gold.

Well, no, father--

It causes the gold to radiate

a powerful influence throughout America.

It activates the assembly lines in Detroit.

It.. It makes skyscrapers sprout up

from the gutters of New York City.

And it produces a bumper crop of millionaires.

And that..

...is the McLonergan theory of economics.

And that's why we came to America?

Aye. To bury me pot of gold.

Now, you go back to bed.

It's a witching night.

[instrumental music]

[frogs croaking]

Mm. Aye. Mm-hmm.

Where's a good place?

[music continues]

[music continues]

[muttering indistinctly]

[muttering indistinctly]

[humming indistinctly]

[dramatic music]

[muttering indistinctly]

[crickets chirping]

I..

I'll, I'll, I'll..

Come on! I ought..

[muttering]

[clears throat]

[instrumental music]

[muttering]

One, two, four, five

six, seven, eight..

[grunts]

[muttering]

♪ Green is the color of the shamrock ♪

♪ And the grass on Blarney Hill ♪

♪ Oh the darling green of Ireland ♪

♪ And the good old dollar bill ♪♪

Hm.

[instrumental music]

Ohh.

Ohh.

[music continues]

[music continues]

[muttering]

[instrumental music]

[liquid sloshing]

[instrumental music]

Ahh.

[music continues]

God be with ya.

Oh.

God and Mary be with ye.

God and Mary and St. Patrick be with ye.

God, Mary, St. Patrick and St. Ozymandias be with ye.

Ozymandias? I never heard of him.

Oh, he's a special saint.

He's the patron saint of all the leprechauns

of Glocca Morra.

[laughing]

My name is Og.

- Og from Glocca Morra? - Right.

- Me native heath. - Right!

You're an imposter.

You can't be a leprechaun.

- You're too tall. - I know!

And I'm getting taller!

Oh, I need your help, Mr. McLonergan.

- Me help? - Aye.

Well, yeah, that calls for a toast.

I rise to welcome you to America.

How are things in Glocca Morra?

Oh, alas, alack and willy-wally.

I weep for Glocca Morra and all Ireland.

You weep? Why? What's happened?

A blight has fallen over Ireland.

The British are back.

Never have I seen such a curse

befall a folk in all me four hundred and fifty..

...nine years.

Oh.

Alas, poor Ireland.

Oh, poor Ireland.

- Poor Ireland! - Me suffering Ireland.

Suffering Ireland!

Me bleeding Ireland.

- Oh, the native land! - Oh, me native land.

[both bawling]

A fine lot of fairy folk you are

you and your associates letting all this happen.

Why don't you wish it away?

We lost the power.

You mean you've gone and lost the power to make wishes?

Aye.

What has Ireland to live for now?

- Answer me that. - Doom and gloom!

Doom..

...and gloom!

Who's the author of this foul outrage?

A monster.

- A monster, eh? - Aye.

You mean the old flame-breathing type?

The kind with a head of a dragon?

No, no. This is a tiny, wee monster.

He's about, um..

...your size.

Who is he? Who is this monster?

You'll excuse me for pointing, Mr. McLonergan

but it's you.

- Me? - Aye.

You brought the blight on yourself

when you stole our crock of gold!

The little crock that gives us all the power to wish.

No, don't be superstitious, man. It's bad luck.

Oh, give it back, Mr. McLonergan.

How do you know I've got it?

Me magnetic feathers pointed you out

all the way from Ireland.

- Argh! - Feathers!

Who's the culprit?

Ooh, me arthritis! Oh-ho-ho, w-what?

Oh, give it back, Mr. McLonergan

before a great evil befalls you.

Can't you postpone your wishing a couple of months?

Gold was never meant for mankind.

It's a fairyland metal that only fairy folk can use.

In the hands of a mortal

it can only bring..

...doom and gloom.

Doom and gloom!

Doom and gloom! Stop your whining, leprechaun!

I've come to a decision. I deny your existence.

You're only a figment of me imagination.

- I am? - And to prove it..

...I'm going to walk right through you.

Step aside!

There. What did I tell you.

Ohh, this is dreadful.

- I don't exist. - Of course not.

I'm always seeing things.

Ask me daughter.

But if I don't exist, how is it I-I'm gradually becoming mortal?

Oh, the saints preserve us. You are?

Aye, and so are all the other little leprechauns

ever since you stole our crock of gold.

Look at me! Look!

It's crept past me ankles already.

Can't you hold out until the winter?

Oh, I don't know, I-I got a peculiar human feeling

in my thighs lately.

Your thighs?

Do-don't let it go any higher, man.

Ohh!

Mary and Joseph, Ireland's ruined.

(Sharon) 'Father!'

- Someone's coming. - Me daughter.

Now that you're half-mortal, you're indecent.

- Ooh! - Here, here.

You'd better take these. Take these.

Take these Now, you heard me, now.

Now, here, you take those, thos..

(Sharon) 'Father!'

'Father!'

Sharon!

Mr. Mc...Lonergan.

Father!

Sharon!

Mister, mister..

- Father! - Sharon!

Mr. McLonergan!

Father!

What fools these mortals be.

[music continues]

- Mis.. Aah! - Fath.. Oh!

Father!

[screams]

Oh.

Now, what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?

Oh, it's you, Mr. Mahoney.

I was looking for me father.

Not too long ago, they find a young girl in the forest

in the middle of the night

why, they'd think that she was..

...a witch.

Well, is that so? Well, if you'll excuse me.

I-I'll be saying good evening to you.

You're not afraid of the werewolves?

Werewolves?

Our valley has its legends too, you know.

Haven't you noticed how strange the sky looks?

'Tis a trifle strange.

And look at the moon.

Oh, 'tis a cold, full moon.

The legend of the valley.

When the sky is strange

and the moon is full

the werewolves prowl.

- Unless.. - Unless?

Now, that's a very complicated part

of the legend, and I know you're in a hurry--

Oh, no, Mr. Mahoney, you see, I think I'd rather

like to know the more complicated part of the legend.

It's only how to make yourself immune from the werewolves.

Well, how would I be doing that?

Well...you have to stand very, very close

to the nicest, handsomest feller around.

[music continues]

[bird cawing]

That must be you.

Must be.

Then you make yourself comfortable on the grass.

[music continues]

Now you blink your eyes...twice.

And keep them closed.

Now you say..

"Petrified parsley."

Over and over, real fast.

Petrified parsley, petrified parsley.

Petrified parsley, petrified parsley, petrified parsley..

- Do you feel immune yet? - No.

Petrified parsley, petrified parsley, petrified parsley,

Petrified parsley, pe..

[music continues]

Oh..

- That's a lovely legend. - Hmm.

Who made it up?

I did.

["Old Devil Moon"]

♪ I look at you

♪ And suddenly

♪ Something in your eyes I see

♪ Soon begins bewitching me

♪ It's that old devil moon

♪ That you stole from the skies ♪

♪ It's that old devil moon

♪ In your eyes

♪ You and your glance

♪ Make this romance

♪ Too hot to handle

♪ The stars in the night

♪ Blazing their light

♪ Can't hold a candle

♪ To your razzle dazzle

♪ You

♪ Got me flying high and wide ♪

♪ On a magic carpet ride

♪ Full of butterflies inside

♪ I wanna cry

♪ Wanna croon

♪ Wanna laugh just like a loon

♪ It's that old devil moon

♪ In your eyes

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh

♪ Mm mm hm

♪ Yeah

♪ I

♪ Look at you

♪ And glory be

♪ Something in your eyes

♪ I see

♪ Soon begins bewitching me

♪ It's that old devil moon

♪ That you stole from the skies ♪

♪ It's that old devil moon

♪ In your eyes

♪ You and your glance

♪ Make this romance

♪ Too hot to handle

♪ Stars in the night blazing their light ♪

♪ Can't hold a candle

♪ To your razzle-dazzle

♪ You've got me flying high and wide ♪

♪ On a magic carpet ride

♪ Full of butterflies inside

♪ I wanna cry

♪ I wanna croon

♪ I want to laugh like a loon

♪ It's that old devil moon

♪ In your eyes

♪ Just when I think I'm

♪ Free as a dove

♪ Old devil moon

♪ Deep in your eyes

♪ Blinds me with love

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah ♪

[humming]

[train hooting]

[dogs howling]

Howard, old buddy!

Hey, Woody!

Ooh!

[chuckling]

How's the Luther Burbank of the back swamp?

- Hey, hey, hey, Mr. Moneybags. - How you doing, brother?

Oh, I've been waiting for you. Where've you been?

Uh.. Sharon, I want you meet Howard.

- Howard, this is Sharon. - How do you do?

- Hello. - Nice to meet you.

Hey, Woody, I'm glad you're here.

I got the list all made out.

"Fifty feet of styrene tubing, quarter inch

two hundred fifty pounds of nitrogen tripalminate--"

The voice that you hear is the voice

of the greatest research botanist

we have in this country today.

He's gonna change our whole way of life.

He's a pride and joy of our little values.

And he's gonna do it with...these

little flowers right here.

- These are all his babies. - Oh, no.

- We-we're doing it together. - Huh?

I mean, Woody thought it up, and I'm growing 'em up.

You know, I ain't nothing but a suede-shoe boy peddling tobacco.

Now, but Howard here, Howard is the first man in history

to mate the mint plant with the tobacco plant.

- Oh. - You realize what that means.

No.

You are looking at the mentholated tobacco plant.

Here...smell.

Smell, uh, the mint-julep nicotine.

[sniffing]

- Mm. - Oh.

That's nice. It really smells lovely.

It's-it's a whole new form of tobacco life.

[chuckles]

It only has one drawback.

What's that?

Well, it doesn't burn.

It doesn't burn?

It's worse than asbestos.

It actually puts fires out. But we're working on it.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Now that you're all

back, fat with...cash

gotta get to work at it again.

Now, once I rig that styrene tubing, I'll take

the, uh, nitrogen tripalminate in powdered form--

That's what I've been meaning to talk with you about

Howard old buddy.

What's that, the styrene tubing

or the nitrogen tripalminate in powdered form?

- 'The cash.' - Yeah, w-what about the cash?

Oh, I, uh, got some great things going.

I made some contacts you wouldn't believe--

Wait, wait. Contacts? No cash?

Not a dime.

Well, you didn't bring back any cash

I'll go out and get some.

How?

W.. I'll get a job. Yeah.

But you've got a job, Howard.

And that's to make it burn. Make it burn!

Ehh!

[screeching]

Is that dedication?

Mr. Mahoney?

Hmm?

You're going to make plenty of money for everyone?

You bet.

Without doing a stitch of work for it?

Why not?

And is that what you call the

"Mahoney theory of economics?"

No, but that's a pretty good name for it.

Why don't you grow ordinary tobacco that does burn?

Never get rich that way.

Oh. See you soon, Sharon.

- Hey, Howard, buddy! - Oh, you..

[birds chirping]

[doorbell ringing]

[creaking]

[dog growling]

Oh!

Don't take that personal.

He's trained to do that to anyone

what ain't white.

Yeah.

[growling continues]

Oh. You're the new boy from the agency.

(Harold) 'Yeah.'

Okay, Stonewall.

Hey. Ain't I seen you somewhere?

Uh..

You worked here as a butler before, didn't you?

Oh, n-no, no.

No, uh, sir.

Well, you'll like working here, boy.

I've hired all of the senator's butlers

for the past ten years.

- Hundreds of them. - Yeah.

Of course, uh, he's a little intolerant at times

but that's his blood pressure.

Yeah.

- What's your name? - Howard.

Let me see you serve that julep.

Oh-ho-ho. Rawkins won't like that.

That's no way to serve a julep. It's too fast.

Get some shuffle into it.

You've seen some of the new movies, like..

"Birth Of A Nation" and "Gone With The Wind"

haven't you?

- Here, George, like this. - Uh, H-Howard.

Yeah, okay, Jackson.

Your julep, sir.

Master Rawkins, sir.

All frosted and minty..

Hiya! Hiya! Hiya!

Yeah.

You see, George?

Yeah.

Why do I have to shuffle?

Oh, now, I don't have to explain that to you.

It makes for kindly feelings between employer

and...employee.

Once more, now. Try it again. And not so fast this time.

How did you do that again?

You know, I don't understand you, Jackson.

I mean, you don't walk like you're supposed to

you don't talk like you're supposed to.

You don't even know how to serve a julep

like you're supposed to.

You educated or something?

I'm working on my master's.

Working on your master's what?

- It's a college degree. - Oh..

Now, don't go mention a word "College" around the senator.

It upsets him. But that's beside the point.

Do you want a job here, or don't you?

Uh.. Uh.. Yes, uh, sir.

I-I do.

I needs the money.

Oh, well, that's all the more reason

for you to make good here.

Then when you get your college degree

why, you got a job here for life.

- 'Buzz!' - Oh, I'll speak to you later.

You go around back in the kitchen, keep practicing, hear?

- Buzz, where are you? - 'I'm over here, senator.'

Well, I can't seem to see you.

Oh, it's these columns, senator.

- They sort of get in the way. - Well, nonsense.

Those columns haven't moved an inch in a hundred years.

Meet me down by the glider.

Yep. Fine job you done yesterday, Buzz.

- Buying up all that land. - Yes, sir.

Bought up the whole valley.

Except one little parcel.

That'll teach them bureaucrats to stay where they belong

in Washington.

Cheap electric power.

Why don't they build their dam on the Potomac

instead of desecrating this heaven-given valley

with a lot of copper wire.

Electrocuting innocent bullfinches...and sparrows.

[creaking]

Gentlemen..

...the festering tides of radicalism are upon us.

But before I yield up our glorious South

and her sister commonwealth, the US of A..

...I will lay down my life.

I will do more than that. I will filibuster.

Back, you crackpots. Forward, America.

Forward to the hallowed principles of our forefathers.

Forward to the sweet tranquility of the status quo.

Forward...to yesterday.

[siren wailing]

Hey! Wait, wait, wait. What's going on here?

Wait, what's going on here?

[barking]

Wait.

Hey! What are you guys doing?

Help! Help! What're you doing?

[growling]

Get this dog off.. Get him off me.

Caught him dead to rights, senator.

- Spank on your property. - Oh, damn it, sheriff.

Can't you arrest a couple of chicken thieves

without disturbing the whole countryside?

Worse than chicken thieves this time, senator.

These are two geologists from Washington.

Geologists?

Two?

- Well, I only see one. - Senator.

This is a geological survey of the soil

in this area in connection with the new dam.

I don't need nobody to tell me what's on my land.

Especially one of his kind.

Look, I read the findings on this meter.

It detected gold on your property this afternoon.

You found what on my property?

It located an amazing concentration of gold.

The meter reacted so violently, it broke the needle.

Oh, we're sorry about that needle

but we'll reimburse you.

Now, uh..

Just where did this unfortunate

needle-breaking accident occur?

Parcel lot number seven, right outside Rainbow Valley.

Oh, my god.

What are you mumbling about, Buzz?

Invite these gentlemen up on the veranda.

It isn't every day that we're honored with the presence

of two distinguished scientists from Washington, DC.

Sorry, senator, we've got more ground to cover.

Gentlemen, I wish you'd accept my hospitality.

Senator?

That was the strip I told you about.

- What strip? - The one we couldn't buy.

Well, now, gentlemen, I'm sorry you gotta rush off like this

but you hurry back real soon, now, hear?

What do you mean, we couldn't buy it? Who bought it?

We found out it was a man named Finian McLonergan.

Well, you-you yankee brain! Why weren't you prepared--

I never saw him before. He's an immigrant.

Immigrant?

My whole family's been having

nothing but trouble with immigrants

ever since they come to this country!

Don't you get excited, senator.

You'll feel better as soon as you've had your julep.

To hell with my julep!

Get me a Bromo, quick.

- Howard! - Oh.

Howard! Bring the senator a Bromo-Seltzer! Quick!

And, and call my lawyer. Tell him to find a loophole.

Where's that Bromo? Oh.

Where's that Bromo, Howard?

Ey! My loophole's choking me.

'Oh! Where's that Bromo?'

Coming, master! Coming!

I'm coming all in there! Yes, sir.

Yeah, I'm coming, mas--

Will you hurry up on that Bromo?

You're gonna enjoy it, master, once I get to you.

(Buzz) 'Get him his Bromo!'

Coming in there fast as I can, master.

- Will you hurry up with it? - Coming right there.

Gonna fix your head good.

Mercy, sure gonna make you feel like you flying.

Please! Please hurry up with the--

(Buzz) Come on, Howard! Come on!

Come on. Hurry up..

- Howard, come on! - I'm right in there.

- Please bring me my.. - Howard!

Oh, Lord, I'm coming in.

[sobbing] Howard!

Come on, bring that! Get over here!

♪ How are things in Glocca Morra? ♪

♪ Is that willow tree still weeping there? ♪

♪ Does that laddie with the twinkling eye ♪

♪ Woo come whistling by

♪ And does he walk away

♪ Sad and dreamy there?

(Finian) 'Sharon!'

Aye?

Haven't you laundered my shirt yet?

It's coming. It's coming.

♪ Not to see me there

[music continues]

Hey, not so hard, lass.

You'll be wringing the Irish out of the linen.

This the neck of the Mahoney I'm wringing.

Oh, good. Good, good.

- Lovers quarrel. Healthy sign. - Are you sure?

I know true devotion when I see it.

'I know a fine, upstanding'

darling of a man when I see one.

Well, he's leaving for parts unknown this very morning.

He's what? He's running out on you?

He's off to sell tobacco that doesn't burn.

- He's a schemer. - Well, you're rid of him, then.

- An impractical dreamer. - Ooh, that's deplorable.

A total no-good bounder.

Ah, get the wretch out of your mind.

- He's just like you. - Aye, a darling of a man.

Now, look. Now, just a minute.

Now, don't you be crying.

[sobbing]

Ah! A special rose.

For your hair.

It has magical properties, ah..

A beautiful bride you'll be.

All by myself, or is there a man involved?

Aye, there is.

He doesn't know it yet, but before sundown

Mr. Woody Mahoney will find himself betroth-ted to you.

- 'Betrothed?' - Betroth-ted.

♪ How are things

♪ In Glocca Morra?

♪ This..

[echoes] ♪ This

♪ Fi-i-n-e

♪ Fi-i-n-e

♪ Finer and finer

♪ Fine day

Well, this is a pretty bucket of fish.

And how would you be explaining these strange shenanigans?

Well, if you won't speak, back into the well with you.

Oh, no! No!

Ah, so you've found your tongue.

Now, come on. Speak up for yourself.

What were you doing hiding in that well?

I wasn't hiding.

Someone set me on fire, and I had to put myself out.

Oh, I see.

Who was it put the torch to you?

A sunbeam.

A sunbeam?

A sunbeam disguised as a fairy queen.

But you can't fool me.

I know a sunbeam when I see one.

Thank you.

[giggles]

You're very poetical, aren't you?

Well, don't come too close! I-I'll have to jump again!

[hoots]

Aye.

I'm beginning to understand.

I've known that feeling me-self.

You have?

Well, only recently.

It came over me this morning

as you were sunning your hair by the brook.

Is it a warmish

kind of glowish

kind of peculiarish sensation?

Oh, no, it's sort of a shiverish, kind of quiverish

flibberty-gibberish sensation.

Does it make you feel hummingbirds in your heart?

- Butterflies in me feet! - And bees in your bonnet?

Stars in my britches!

Does it make you want to dance?

I hadn't noticed.

- And sing? - Oh, it does. It does!

["Something Sort Of Grandish"]

♪ Something sweet

♪ Something sort of grandish

♪ Sweeps my soul

♪ When thou art near

♪ My heart feels

♪ So sugar candish

♪ My head feels

♪ So ginger beer

[laughing]

♪ And something so dare-ish

♪ So I-don't-care-ish

♪ Stirs me from limb to limb ♪

♪ It's so terrifish

♪ Magnifish

♪ Delish

♪ To have such an amorish

♪ Glamorous

♪ Dish

♪ Oh we could be

♪ Oh so bride-and-groomish

♪ Skies could be so bluish blue ♪

♪ Life could be so love-in-bloomish ♪

♪ If my ishes could come true ♪

♪ Thou art sweet

♪ Thou art sort of grandish

♪ Thou outlandish cavalier

♪ From now on

♪ We're hand-in-handish

♪ Romeo

♪ And Guinevere

♪ Thou art so adorish

♪ Toujour l'amourish

♪ I'm so Cherchez la femme

♪ Why should I vanquish

♪ Relinquish resish?

♪ When I simply relish

♪ This hellish condish

♪ I might be

♪ Manish or mouse-ish

♪ I might be

♪ A fowl or fish

♪ But with thee

♪ I'm Eisenhowish

♪ Please accept my proposish

♪ You're under my skinish

♪ So please be give-in-ish

♪ Or it's the beginish of the finish ♪

♪ Of me ♪

[splash]

[whistling]

- What was that splash? - Uh, it was me. Singing a duet.

A duet by yourself?

Well, it could be, you know.

After all, I'm a witch, remember?

Train's pulling out soon.

I wanted to say goodbye.

Well, goodbye.

What kind of a goodbye is that?

The best kind. Short and sweet and final.

How come I get the feeling that you're losing interest in me?

(Sharon) 'Losing?'

- I'm only going away-- - 'Losing!'

I can come back and make everybody rich.

Lost.

Sharon!

[children laughing and singing]

♪ We're having a party today

♪ We're having a party we're having a party ♪

♪ Oh Finian's party we're having today ♪

♪ We're having a party we're having a party ♪

♪ We're having a pa--

Hey. What's going on?

♪ We're having a party we're having a party ♪

♪ Oh Finian's party we're having today ♪

♪ We're having a party we're having a party ♪

♪ We're having a party

What's the occasion, Mr. McLonergan?

What? Haven't you heard the gossip?

My daughter Sharon's getting betroth-ted today.

Singing a duet with herself.

♪ We're having today

♪ Sharon's getting betroth-ted

♪ Sharon is getting betroth-ted today ♪

♪ Sharon's getting betroth-ted ♪

Oh, now, I hope you won't be taking it too hard, son

but, then, you'll be leaving town anyhow.

Well, I got this deal cooking, Mr. McLonergan. I--

Oh, I'm the first to understand when a man's got a deal cooking.

He's gotta to go on to cook, or it won't get cooked.

On the other hand, many a deal's cooked at home, in your own pot.

- Of gold. - Gold?

Oh, but then again what is the cold, hard metal itself

compared to the golden hair of the girl you love?

- Nothing. - You're right.

Well, then, tell me this.

For what reason are you gallivanting

all over the countryside, promoting and cooking deals

when the lady you fancy's about to be betroth-ted?

Well, who's she gonna marry?

Oh, now, I hope you won't be out there, taking it too hard.

Why should I? It's only love.

Well, that's a sensible attitude.

Right. Wait a minute.

Who's the guy? Now, who is he?

Well, now, if I tell you, you won't be making any trouble?

I promise.

Very well.

It was last night. She met him in the forest.

And they sang about the moon.

Mr. McLonergan, that was me.

- Oh, was it, now? - Yeah.

Are you sure?

Of course. It was me all along.

[chuckles] Well, that's a blessed relief.

[both laughing]

Therefore, it's you that's getting betroth-ted today.

- Unh-unh. "Betrothed." - Ah, yes, "Betrothed."

Hey! Finian McLonergan!

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute!

(Henry) Susan's trying to tell us something.

(Finian) What's she saying?

I can't tell. It's a secret.

- Woody, you tell them. - Okay.

["If This Isn't Love"]

♪ A secret a secret

♪ She says she's got a secret

♪ A secret a secret

♪ A secret kind of secret

♪ She's aching for to shout it

♪ To every daffodil

♪ And tell the world about it

♪ In fact she says she will

♪ She says

♪ She says

♪ If this isn't love

♪ The whole world is crazy

♪ If this isn't love

♪ I'm daft as a daisy

♪ With moons all around

♪ And cows jumping over

♪ There's something amiss

♪ And I'll eat my hat if this isn't love ♪

♪ I'm feeling like the apple

♪ On top of William Tell

♪ With this I cannot grapple

♪ Because ♪ Because

♪ You're so adora-ble

♪ If this isn't love

♪ Then winter is summer

♪ Then winter's summer

♪ If this isn't love

♪ If this isn't love

♪ My heart needs a plumber

♪ It needs a plumber

♪ I'm swinging on stars

♪ I'm riding on rainbows

♪ He's riding rainbows

♪ I'm busting with bliss

♪ And I'll kiss your hand

♪ If this isn't love

♪ If this isn't love

♪ There's no Glocca Morra

♪ If this isn't love

♪ I'm Zsa Zsa Gabor-a

♪ If this is a dream

♪ And if I should wake up

♪ Will you hear a hiss?

♪ Will my face be red if this isn't love? ♪

♪ I'm getting tired of waiting and sticking to the rules ♪

♪ This feeling calls for mating ♪

♪ Like birds

♪ And bees and other animals

♪ If this isn't love

♪ We're all seeing double

♪ If this isn't love

♪ We're really in trouble

♪ If she's not the girl

♪ And he's not the hero

♪ A kiss ain't a kiss

♪ It's a crisis man if this isn't love ♪

♪ If this isn't love

♪ She's aching to shout it

♪ And tell the world about it

♪ And I'll kiss your hand

♪ If this isn't love

[whistling]

[man sobbing]

[man sobbing]

[man sobbing]

(Og) 'Oh, St. Patrick! Ohh!'

'Mary, ohh!'

McLonergan!

How dare you come back here?

Didn't I tell you you were an optical delusion?

Aye, I was ready to believe you yesterday, but not today.

- Today I've got proof. - What proof?

Does an optical illusion feel

oh, such a hungry yearning burning inside of him?

Does an optical illusion

feel the beat, beat, beat of the tom-tom

in the roaring traffic's boom in his lonely room?

Well, do you mean you feel you're flying high and wide

on a magic carpet ride, full of butterflies inside?

Aye, what's worse, smoke keeps coming out of me eyes.

And you go round and round like an elevator lost in the tide?

- That's the feeling! - Ah..

Day and night, night and day.

Give me your daughter, Mr. McLonergan.

Me daughter? What's she got to do with it?

She's the one who's under my skin.

Leprechaun, you're playing with fire.

I know, and the fire's winning.

Oh, I.. I don't wanna be human.

I don't wanna be human.

- It's too inhuman. - Oh, you're neurotic.

Who's forcing you to be human?

You are, by keeping my crock of gold!

I'm not keeping it. I'm only lend-leasing it.

Give me a few more weeks, I'll return it to you with interest.

Five and a quarter little crocks.

I hope you're not gonna use it to make wishes, Mr. McLonergan.

In the hands of a mortal, it's only good for three

and after that, the crock becomes dross.

The way you talk anyone would think

I never had a pot to wish on!

I'm, I'm sorry, Mr. McLonergan.

I'm, I'm being a nuisance.

You're damn right you are.

You're worse than that.

'You're the nemesis on me premises.'

You're endangering me whole project.

- Where's your passport? - What's that?

(Finian) 'I thought so. You haven't got one.'

How dare you come into a free country without a passport?

Well, I'm legal alright. I came in as a Christmas tree.

But I'm not leaving till I see me crock!

And I'm seeing me congressman, Senator Rawkins.

And I'm having you deported.

You're a member of a subversive underground group..

...taking its orders from Dublin.

[children singing]

♪ Woody is getting betroth-ted today ♪

♪ Woody is getting betroth-ted

♪ Woody is getting betroth-ted today ♪

[children chattering]

Hey, mister.

- Did you see our rooster? - Rooster?

I got enough troubles of me own, thank you.

- Oh, come on, help us! - Come on!

What kind of a rooster was he?

[chatter]

He had pink around--

- Green feet. - And he had--

Wait a minute. Wait, wait!

How many roosters did you lose?

(all) 'One!'

One rooster all those colors?

(all) Yeah!

Well.. Well, now, let me see, now. Uh..

[clucking]

Would this be it?

(all) Yeah!

- He must be magic! - That's right.

Here you are. You get the prize.

(girl) 'Do you do other magical things too?'

Well, I do, but we'll have to act very quickly.

'I think I need your help.'

Will you help me?

(all) Yeah!

Now, listen.

Somewhere hidden in the ground around here

is a little yellow crock.

Now, if any of you finds it for me

you can pick anything you like here in me little magic book.

(girl) 'Oh, that's nothing.'

We all have one of those.

Aye, yes, but the difference between yours and mine

is that from mine you can have anything you choose.

- Can I have a banjo? - Can I get a fishing rod?

Can I have an elephant?

You can have anything you like..

- ...that's made in fairyland. - Without money?

["That Great Come-And-Get-It Day"]

♪ There'll be things

♪ Plenty-ish for allish

♪ Wondrish toys and magic tricks ♪

♪ Electrish trains and basketballish ♪

♪ Mintish drops

♪ And liquorice sticks

♪ Life will be keenish

♪ All Halloweenish

♪ And jellybeanish too

♪ With ice cream and cake-ish

♪ And soda to sup

♪ And no bellyache-ish

♪ To wake-ish you up

♪ There will be such delicious dishes ♪

♪ And we'll end this daffish plot ♪

♪ For we'll go

♪ From rags to riches

♪ When we find that goldish pot ♪

♪ There'll be chocolate custish ♪

♪ With hot dogs and mustish

♪ But Shears and Robustish

♪ Must firstish come through ♪

[siren wailing]

You folks belong here?

(all) Yeah!

You mean you all live here on this property together?

(all) Yeah.

This is my property, Your Honor.

- McLonergan. - Oh.

Now, Mr. Lonergan..

I understand that you got stuck with

this here arid, gopher-infested property a couple of days ago.

Now, how would you like to unload it for, say, a profit of

uh, 30 percent?

This the McLonergan theory giving birth to itself.

Now, what do you say?

Oh, I couldn't consider any proposition

for at least six months.

You see, I'm conducting certain experiments.

Come on, honey. We've got to--

Well, now, now, let me ask you, sir

just what kind of experiments?

Oh, well, you see, father is a mineralogist

from the old country.

He can make gold sprout out of the ground.

Gold?

There ain't no gold in Ireland.

Oh, ho-ho!

I me-self discovered a vein

our countrymen have been searching for

ever since the reign of Alfred the Thoughtless.

Who?

You never heard of Alfred the Thoughtless?

Unh-unh.

Well, he, he was King of Erin

following his father, Thomas the Temporary

who in turn was the only son of the virgin queen

Serena the Spotless.

Are you willing to sell this land, or ain't you?

I'm willing, and I'm wanting

but I'm waiting.

Well, I'm real sorry you said that.

It's gonna put me to the trouble of having to issue a writ of

seizure on all this land.

Here's the writ, senator.

Now, don't be crude, Buzz.

I hate to do this to you, but, well..

you've been violating the law.

- Since when? - This afternoon.

I just finished drafting this.

[clears throat]

"Local ordinance number 7428.

"Be it known that in the county of Rainbow Valley

it is a felony for members of the Caucasian and Negro races--"

It would seem to me that this law could not be a legal law.

Of course it's legal.

I don't know where you immigrants

get all these foreign ideas.

Oh, from a wee book the immigration officer gave us.

It's called the United States Constitution.

- Haven't you read it? - I don't have time to read it.

- I'm too busy defending it! - Huh!

I rest me case.

I wish you folks would understand our traditions.

I wish--

Now, don't get in the habit of making wishes on me property.

Well, it's not your property

and I'll thank you to get off it.

And take your black friends with you.

- Now, wait-- - I don't wanna go!

Shush, Henry.

Do you mean to say you're taking this land away from these people

just because their skins are black?

- Don't let 'em chase us! - They won't.

Shut this kid up? He's making me look like a bully.

Alright, sheriff, get 'em out of here.

You heard the senator.

You folks better start packing your things.

- Is Henry the wrong color? - No, of course not.

He's the right color.

But there's something wrong with the world--

[growls]

- I wish.. - Sharon! Sharon.

There's something wrong with the world you

and your kind have made for people like Henry.

I wish you could know what that world is like.

- I wish to God you were black. - Oh! Ohh! Oh, oh.

[wind howling]

[thunder crashing]

I'm a son of a biscuit!

[dog snarling]

Oh, my god! What happened?

[dog snarling]

- Stonewall. - Somebody get a doctor.

Oh, oh! Let's go.

[barking]

Father, what have I done?

You-you shouldn't go around me property

making wishes that's all.

[barking]

[barking]

- Oh! Oh! - Oh! No!

Hey, sorry, buddy, but it's that great come-and-get-it day.

[barking]

Uh, hi. What's going on?

Well, the senator tried to take our land away from us.

Aye, and I lost me temper with him, and I shouted at him

and he turned black right in front of me eyes.

Don't worry about that, it happens every time

he meets somebody that he disagrees with.

He sees red, then he turns purple with rage

and then he yells himself black in the face.

But we're not gonna have to worry

about Senator Rawkins anymore.

In fact, we're not gonna have to worry about anything anymore.

We got good news, a telegram for Finian.

- Ooh! - For me?

- Well, let me see it. - Oh, no, no, no.

This is a singing telegram.

[blows note]

♪ Dear sir

♪ After investigating your standing in the community ♪

♪ And finding you to be a citizen ♪

♪ Of high character

♪ We have taken the liberty

♪ Of opening an unlimited charge account ♪

♪ For you and your associates

♪ Signed Shears Robust Company ♪♪

[all cheering]

It says, it says

"P.S. We hear gold has been discovered on your property.

Congratulations."

Gold?

(all) Gold!

[crowd exclaiming]

Oh, no, wait!

- There's a mistake here. - Mistake?

Hey, well, wait a minute.

Hey, what about this here?

Hey, come on.

Hey, wait a minute.

Wait a minute! Didn't you hear the telegram?

We got credit! Wait.

Credit! Hey, hold, hold it.

You're gonna dig up this whole valley.

Hell, Woody, I've waited all my life for a break like this.

Yeah, but..

Don't you, don't you see, don't you know what credit means?

Credit means we could buy ourselves a tractor.

We could get ourselves a new planting machine, some tools.

We can get some laboratory equipment for Howard.

We can get that new mentholated tobacco of ours burning.

We're gonna make ourselves more money that we could ever get

digging up gold from the ground.

Aye, he's right, you know.

Alright, Woody. When?

We want it now, Woody.

We want it right now.

- 'Yeah!' - 'When?'

'When, Woody? When?'

- When? - Yeah, Woody. When?

["That Great Come-And-Get-It Day"]

♪ On that great come-and-get-it day ♪

♪ Great day

♪ Won't it be fun when worry is done? ♪

♪ And money is hay

♪ Money is hay

♪ That's the time

♪ Things will come your way

♪ Coming our way

♪ On that great great come-and-get-it day ♪

♪ Come-and-get-it day

♪ I'll a-get my gal

♪ That calico gown

♪ I'll a-get my mule

♪ That acre of ground

♪ 'Cause the word has come

♪ From Gabriel's horn

♪ The earth beneath your plow

♪ Is a-budding and now it's yourn ♪

♪ Glory glory

♪ Glory time's coming for to stay ♪

♪ On that great great come-and-get-it day ♪

♪ Come and get it Come and get it ♪

♪ Come and get it Come and get it ♪

♪ It says here

♪ Says it in the Good Book

♪ It says a mighty morning is nigh ♪

♪ Come and get it Come and get it ♪

♪ Come and get it

♪ Universal Fourth of July

♪ Hallelujah

♪ Gonna get your freedom

♪ And pie

♪ What a day for banjos ringing ♪

♪ What a day for people in overalls ♪

♪ Can't you hear all the angels singing? ♪

♪ Come and get your gravy and your two meatballs ♪

♪ Says here

♪ Bells will ring in every steeple ♪

♪ Come and get your test on the movie screen ♪

♪ Come you free and you equal people ♪

♪ Come get your beer and your Benzedrine ♪

♪ Says here

♪ Come and get it Come and get it come ♪

♪ There's gonna be a world-shaking ♪

♪ Bread-breaking day

♪ Says here

Can I have a waffle iron?

♪ It's coming to ya

♪ Says here

Does that mean I get a new washing machine?

♪ With your initials

♪ Says here

(children) Hey, Woody, can we have a jukebox?

Says here.

[girl squeals]

Hey, Woody, how about a helicopter?

A helicopter?

♪ Hallelujah

♪ On that great come-and-get-it day ♪

♪ Come-and-get-it day

♪ Won't it be fun when worry is done ♪

♪ And money is hay? Come-and-get-it day ♪

♪ Lots of fine things will come your way ♪

♪ On that great great come-and-get-it day ♪

♪ Come-and-get-it day

♪ My gown will be a calico gown ♪

♪ My feet will dance all over the town ♪

♪ 'Cause word has come

♪ From Gabriel's horn

♪ From Gabriel's horn

♪ The earth beneath your plow

♪ Is a-budding and now it's yourn ♪

♪ Glory time's

♪ Coming for to stay

♪ For to stay

♪ On that great great come-and-get-it ♪

♪ Come and get it yeah

♪ Keep it ♪ Come and get it

♪ Yeah and share it

♪ Come-and-get-it

♪ Day

♪ Come-and-get-it day

["Look To The Rainbow"]

♪ So I bundled me heart and I roamed the world free ♪

♪ To the east with the lark

♪ To the west with the sea

♪ And I searched all the earth

♪ And I scanned all the skies

♪ But I found it at last

♪ In my own true love's eyes

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow it over

♪ The hill and stream

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow the fellow who follows a dream ♪

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Who follows a dream ♪

["When The Idle Poor Become The Idle Rich"]

♪ When the idle poor become the idle rich ♪

♪ You'll never know just who is who or who is which ♪

♪ Won't it be rich when everyone's poor relative ♪

♪ Becomes a Rockefellertive

♪ And palms no longer itch?

♪ What a switch

♪ When we all have ermine

♪ And plastic teeth

♪ How will we determine who's who underneath? ♪

♪ And when all your neighbors are upper-class ♪

♪ You won't know your Joneses from your Astors ♪

♪ Let's toast the day

♪ The day we drink that drinkie up ♪

♪ But with the little pinkie up ♪

♪ The day on which

♪ The idle poor

♪ Become the idle rich

[music continues]

♪ When a rich man doesn't want to work ♪

♪ He's a bon vivant

♪ Yes he's a bon vivant

♪ But when a poor man doesn't want to work ♪

♪ He's a loafer he's a lounger ♪

♪ He's a lazy good-for-nothing

He's a jerk.

♪ When a rich man loses on a horse ♪

♪ Isn't he the sport?

♪ Ho-ho isn't he the sport?

♪ But when a poor man loses on a horse ♪

♪ He's a gambler he's a spender ♪

♪ He's a lowlife he's a reason for divorce ♪

♪ When a rich man chases after dames ♪

♪ He's a man about town

♪ Oh yes a man about town ♪

♪ But when a poor man chases after dames ♪

♪ He's a bounder he's a rounder ♪

♪ He's a rotter and a lot of dirty names ♪

[music continues]

♪ When the idle poor become the idle rich ♪

♪ You'll never know just who is who ♪

♪ Or who is which

♪ No one will see

♪ The Irish or the Slav in you

♪ For when you're on Park Avenue ♪

♪ Cornelius and Mike

♪ Look alike

[music continues]

♪ When poor Tweedledum is rich Tweedledee ♪

♪ This discrimination will no longer be ♪

♪ When we're in the dough and off of the nut ♪

♪ You won't know your banker from your butler ♪

- Come on, Finian. - Come on, Finian.

- Yay, Finian. - Yeah, Finian.

[crowd exclaiming]

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

[music continues]

[crowd laughing]

Hey! Hey!

Yoo!

Hey!

Hey!

(all) Whoa!

♪ Let's make the switch

♪ With just a few annuities

♪ We'll hide those incongruities ♪

♪ In cloaks From Abercrombie Fitch ♪

♪ When ♪ When

♪ The idle poor ♪ The idle poor

♪ Become the idle rich ♪ Become the idle rich

♪ When the idle poor

♪ Become the idle

♪ Rich ♪

[all cheering]

[music stops]

[music resumes]

Hee!

Hee! Hee!

[music stops]

[all cheering]

(Finian) Yoo-hoo.

Yoo-hoo. Yoo-hoo.

What a mess.

Well, I'm busy.

Oh.

Gotta clean this place up, man. It's a fire trap.

[chuckles]

I wish.

Heh.

Mm-hmm.

- Huh? - Uh-huh.

Mmm-hmm.

- Mmm. - You see that?

- Hmm! - You think this..

- Mm-hmm. - Huh?

- Are you sure? - I think. Uh..

Are you sure?

No.

Let's try it. Come on.

Huh.

[train whistle blows]

Yeah.

I gotta admit something to you, Howard.

Aright.

I never really..

I never really thought this day would come, you know?

[both chuckle]

Yeah.

Ohh.

Come on. Come on.

It burns.

[both laugh]

It burns! Ha ha ha!

You did it, Howard. You did it!

You did it. Ha ha.

Yeah!

It burns. Burns!

I think it's gone out. Here.

Oh, no, no, no. Still burning.

[blows]

Oh.

Heh.

Na, na-na.

It burns, Howard.

But it doesn't smoke.

Give it to me.

Woody, quick! The sheriff is down by the brook.

- Huh? - Come on!

You got lead in your pants?

[puffing]

Doesn't smoke?

[dramatic music]

[distant murmurs]

(Woody) What's going on here?

This is the DA, Woody.

You'd better talk respectful.

How does this concern you?

This is my fiance.

Well, how nice.

Then I'll ask you.

What do you know about the whereabouts of Senator Rawkins?

Nothing, and neither does she.

There's 50 witness who saw her do her mumbo jumbo.

In the split-second she did, Rawkins turned black.

Disappeared.

Ah, it's crazy talk.

Folks around here are getting nervous.

Could be dangerous.

Now, you're supposed to keep law and order around here

not this white suit.

That's why we're conducting this, uh..

preliminary investigation

on charge of witchcraft.

- Witchcraft? - Hmm.

You gotta be kidding.

Concludes Tuesday

by which day Rawkins had better be produced

in the flesh.

Well, I'm sorry, but, uh..

we're gonna be busy on Tuesday.

We're getting married.

Don't count on that

or anything else

if Rawkins isn't back.

Bye!

[siren wailing]

Oh, Woody, you're grandish.

You made me deliriously happy.

Happy?

Trouble makes you happy?

Come on!

No, you make me happy.

- You don't know why, do you? - No. Why?

Oh, because you said it, and you said it all by yourself.

You volunteered it without me, without magic

without me father twisting and tricking you into it.

What did I say?

That I'm your fiance

which is to say..

...I'm your love.

Oh, it's grandish!

Oh, we're gonna get married on Tuesday.

- Ha ha ha! That's grandish! - Didn't know what I was saying.

- Grandish! Oh! - Something came over me.

Just like a spell come over me.

Hey, wait. Wait a minute, now.

It ain't true, is it?

Ain't what true?

About you being a witch.

Of course it's true.

["Old Devil Moon"]

♪ Me and my glance

♪ Make this romance

♪ Too hot to handle

♪ Stars in the night

♪ Blazing their light

♪ Can't hold a candle

♪ To my razzle-dazzle

♪ Oh you

♪ Got me flying high and wide ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ On a magic carpet ride

♪ Oooh

♪ Full of butterflies inside

♪ I wanna cry

♪ I wanna croon

♪ Yeah ♪ I wanna laugh like a loon

♪ It's that old devil moon

♪ In your eyes

♪ Yeah

♪ Oh oh oh-oh-oh

♪ Oh yeah ♪

Kiss me.

["Rain Dance Ballet"]

[thunder rumbling]

[music continues]

[thunder rumbling]

[music continues]

[thunder rumbling]

[music continues]

[crickets chirping]

[distant howling]

♪ How are things in Glocca Morra? ♪

♪ Is that little stream still laughing at me there? ♪

♪ Does the lassie with the twinkling eye ♪

♪ Come whistling by?

♪ And does she run away

♪ Sad and dreamy there?

♪ Not to see me there?

♪ So I ask each weeping willow

♪ And each brook--

Give me that, boy!

You don't have to grab, mister.

There's plenty of apples around.

- I don't see any. - Because you're mortal!

[laughs] You're mortal!

Mortals can never see all the apples there are to be had.

♪ An apple here an apple there ♪

[laughs]

♪ Little red apples everywhere

[laughs]

You must be very hungry. Would you like a sandwich?

Yes. Nice Virginia ham.

This here's cheese!

I ordered ham.

Forced to eat cheese.

Forced to hide out like a..

Like a hunted possum.

Who are you hiding from?

My associates.

My people, my dog.

My whole way of life.

I can't show myself like this.

What's wrong with you?

Are you blind, boy?

Can't you see I'm black?

I think it's very becoming.

Well, it isn't!

I'm a white man, damn it! I'm a white man.

Least I was up until a couple of days ago.

Well, there's a coincidence.

I was green a couple of weeks ago.

Don't you find the occasional change of color interesting?

No, I don't! And they won't get away with it, I tell you.

They won't get away with it!

You needn't get so excited, mister.

I think it's just ridiculous

making such a fuss about a person's color.

Well, you don't realize

what it's like being black around here.

But you're human!

A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose

despite the color of your nose.

You don't understand, boy.

You're nothing when you're black, nothing.

Nothing? Who says so?

The law says.

Well, it's a silly law.

But is it a legal law?

Of course it's legal! I wrote it myself.

- Change it back again. - How am I gonna do that?

You said you had it changed a couple of days ago.

I said no such thing. Some bitch wished it on me.

A witch? A witch! I can help you there.

- What sort of a witch was she? - Well, how do I know?

I didn't look her up in Who's Who.

She's bound to be in Which is Which.

In this book is listed all the witches, their curses and cures.

Oh, go away, will you?

I see your trouble now, mister.

You're too unfriendly.

I'm in no condition for friendship!

That witch's fault.

She gave you a new outside

and she should have given you a new inside.

That's very incompetent.

Will you go away!

This will give witchcraft a bad name.

It'll set the entire profession back a hundred years.

I'll have to do something about it.

Me reputation's at stake.

I'll have to alter your personality.

Stand up, please, sir.

Huh?

Why don't you leave me alone?

This won't be too hard.

All we have to do is to broaden out that narrow mind a little

reduce some of that bigotry

and your pomposity won't show through at all.

Wait till they see you in your new spring psyche.

People will say you're in love.

Now..

♪ Fiddle foddle

♪ Foil and fiddle

♪ Cure this fuddled Individdle

♪ Well ye waters and unwind

♪ This tangled medieval mind

♪ Breath of bee and bluebird's wing ♪

♪ Make this scowling spirit sing ♪

♪ Balm of briar Sandalwood

♪ Season him with brotherhood

♪ Magic vapors make this person ♪

♪ A better person

♪ Not a worse'un

[snoring]

He sleeps.

The cure is beginning to work!

♪ How are things in Glocca Morra? ♪

[laughing]

[birds chirping]

[snoring]

[snorts] Oh.

Ohh!

Ohh.

Oh.

Ohh.

Ohh!

["Oh, Dem Golden Slippers"]

♪ Oh dem golden slippers

♪ Oh dem golden slippers

♪ Golden slippers I laid away

♪ Can't touch till my wedding day ho ho ♪

♪ Dem golden slippers

♪ Oh dem golden slippers

♪ Golden slippers I laid away

♪ Until my wedding day Ho ♪

♪ Oh dem golden slippers

♪ Oh dem golden slippers Golden slippers ♪

Brother! You're the voice in the wilderness.

Allow me the honor of shaking your hand.

Why, well, thank you, friends.

Nice to be able to talk to somebody again.

Just who may I ask do we have the unexpected pleasure

of meeting up with?

Just call me Bill.

You folks from around here?

We're from around everywhere.

Yeah, we travel and we sing.

Haven't you ever heard of the Passion Pilgrim Gospeleers?

Well, I've kind of been out of touch with the Gospel recently.

Why, we're the prizewinningest Gospel-singingest quartet

east of the Rockies!

Quartet? Why, there's only three of you.

Well, you see, brother

we suffered a casualty last night.

Yes, there was our number four man, Russ

suddenly taken with temptation.

And in desperation he cried out..

"Get thee behind me, Satan."

And Satan got--

And Satan pushed--

And he pushed him--

Right into the arms of a bouncing Babylonian Jezebel

from Biloxi, Mississippi.

Oh, the soul was strong

but the flesh was weak.

And that's why divine providence led us to you.

You may be Bill

but that voice inside you is Russ.

Well, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

I've had a lot of shuffling around lately.

Well, your shuffling days are over.

Why, with your voice

we could go right on being a prizewinning quartet.

You mean I can make a living just singing with you?

There's a handful of ways.

Either you tote that box--

- Lift that bale-- - Shine that shoe--

- Or sing. - We sing.

But before we do

somebody's either gotta get buried

or somebody's gotta get married.

Over in Rainbow Valley

there's a couple just aching to be spliced.

And a $20 bill just aching to be split.

Will you join us?

Brothers, you are now a quartet.

Ha ha ha! Good!

Now, in preparation for this ceremony

we take our text from Genesis

wherein it says--

"Adam and Eve begat Cain and Abel."

From thence on, the history of the world

is just the history of who begat who.

Well, then what do I sing in that?

Oh, you carry the big theme of this song.

You stress the word "Begat."

And keep stressing it.

Can you remember that?

I got it.

["The Begat"]

♪ I got it

♪ I got it

♪ I got it

♪ We got it

♪ The Lord made Adam The Lord made Eve ♪

♪ He made them both a little bit naive ♪

♪ They lived as free as the summer breeze ♪

♪ Without pajamas and without chemise ♪

♪ Until they stumbled on the apple trees ♪

♪ Then she looked at him

♪ And he looked at her

♪ And they knew immediately what the world was for ♪

♪ He said Give me my cane ♪

♪ He said Give me my hat ♪

♪ The time has come

♪ To begin the begat

♪ The begat the begat

♪ So they begat Cain and they begat Abel ♪

♪ Who begat the rabble at the Tower of Babel ♪

♪ They begat the Cohens

♪ They begat O'Rourkes

♪ And they begat the people who believed in storks ♪

♪ Lordy Lordy How they did begat ♪

♪ How they be-be-begat

♪ Even more than that

♪ When the begat got to getting under par ♪

♪ They begat the daughters of the DAR ♪

♪ They begat the babbies of the bourgeoisie ♪

♪ Who begat the misbegotten VIP ♪

♪ They begat boom boom They begat boom boom ♪

♪ It was pleasing to Jezebel pleasing to Ruth ♪

♪ It pleased the League of Women Shoppers in Duluth ♪

♪ Though the movie censors tried the facts to hide ♪

♪ The movie-goers up and multiplied ♪

♪ Lordy Lordy how they multiplied ♪

♪ How they multiplied

♪ How they multiplied

♪ Soon it swept the world

♪ Every land and lingo

♪ It became the rage

♪ It was bigger than bingo

♪ The white begat the red begat ♪

♪ The folks who shoulda stood in bed begat ♪

♪ The Greeks begat the Swedes begat ♪

♪ Why even Britishers in tweed begat ♪

♪ And Lordy Lordy what their seeds begat ♪

♪ The Lapps and Lithuanians ♪ Begat

♪ Scranton Pennsylvanians ♪ Begat

♪ Strict vegetarians ♪ Begat

♪ Honorary Aryans ♪ Begat

♪ Starting from Genesis ♪ They begat

♪ Heroes and menaces ♪ Begat

♪ Black filibusterers ♪ Begat

♪ Income tax adjusters ♪ Begat

♪ 'Twas naturaler and naturaler to begat ♪

♪ And sometimes a bachelor ♪ He begat

♪ It didn't matter whichaways they begat ♪

♪ Sons of habitues begat

♪ So bless them all ♪ So bless them all

♪ Who go to bat? ♪ Who go to bat?

♪ And heed the call

♪ Of the begat ♪

[music continues]

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow it over

♪ The hill and stream

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow the fellow who follows a dream ♪

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Follow the fellow who follows a dream ♪

♪ 'Twas a sumptuous gift

♪ To bequeath to a child

♪ For the lure of that song

♪ Keeps my head running wild

♪ So I searched all the earth ♪

♪ And I scanned all the skies ♪

♪ And I found it at last

♪ In my own true love's eyes ♪

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow it over

♪ The hill and stream

Dearly beloved

we are gathered here today to join..

Stand back, everybody!

...this man and this woman..

[murmuring]

Don't want any trouble here.

Just what do you want?

Ms. Sharon McLonergan.

Mrs. Sharon Mahoney

in a few minutes, if you don't mind.

[organ music]

♪ Look look

Dearly beloved

we are gathered here today to join--

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I got a warrant for your arrest.

On what charge?

People of the state versus Ms. Sharon McLonergan.

- The charge is demoting. - Demoting?

Demoting a member of the white race.

Namely Senator Rawkins

'down to a member of the Negro race.'

By means of witchcraft.

There's a law against witchcraft in this state.

Yes, I know. It was passed in 1690.

I think it's about time we repealed that law!

Right now!

Yeah!

[clamor]

Hold it! Hold it, I says!

Arrest that witch.

Alright, Bill. Do your duty.

Sure thing.

Alright, come and get me, then.

- Come and get me. - Arrest her, Sam!

- Arrest her! - Come on!

Arrest her, Sam, arrest her!

I-I'm only the second deputy.

'You're the first deputy.'

Sheriff, quit stalling! Arrest her!

Let's turn them into pumpkins

and put candles in 'em, Sharon!

[laughter]

Now, don't you try any hocus-pocus.

You can't goofer us now.

That there's lizard dust.

Lizard dust?

Witchcraft?

Well, you don't really believe I'm a witch.

- Do you? - Go get her.

- Here. - Ow!

No-now, wait a minute now.

Gentlemen, g-gentlemen, don't let her bedevil you.

A witch she is, and a witch she's always been!

[crowd gasps]

Finian..

He-he's touched in the head. He doesn't know what he's say--

Oh, yes, I do, by-by the age of ten

she'd already developed her uncanny powers

and was changing me good whiskey into milk.

It was a crisis!

From then on, one change led to another

and now you're all witnesses to this unhappy climax.

She's changed a white man into a black..

- Let me talk to you a minute. - Woody, don..

Leave me, Woody, I'm doing the right thing.

- Alright, let's go. - Get your hands..

Wait a minute!

You know, uh, b-being a witch, she can also, uh..

change a black man into a white.

You mean she can make Rawkins white again?

Or-or any other color that Your Honor pleases.

- Alright! - Ooh!

(DA) 'Turn him into a white man now.'

Now, just a minute, I got something to say about that.

By God! It's Senator Rawkins.

Calm yourself, senator, you're in no position

to have opinions right now.

Hm, who's in a better position?

Boy, can I see both sides of this question!

How much time will she need?

Oof, well, for a bit of a thing like that

I would say, uh, until the crack of dawn.

(Billboard) 'I will not be used as evidence'

in any witchcraft trial!

Yeah!

Take him, boys! He's Exhibit-A.

Her too.

[clamor]

Now, now, now, uh-uh..

For your own safety's sake, Your Honor

if I were you, I wouldn't be trying

to move her, or him.

[murmuring]

Alright.

The crack of dawn.

Or it'll be the crack of doom, hear?

Alright, sheriff, move 'em all out but these two.

Clear everybody out of here!

Come on! Move them out of here.

(Howard) 'No, sit down! No!'

Wait a minute! Wai..

- Sit down. - Get out of here, boy!

Get that boy out of here!

The crock's in the ground, and all's well with the world.

[instrumental music]

It's gone.

It's gone. It's not here!

[music continues]

Leprechaun! Og!

Nemesis! Og!

'Og!'

(Og) 'Sharon!'

[instrumental music]

Sharon McLonergan!

Sharon?

Sharon.

Look at me, Sharon.

I'm 90 percent mortal now

and a 100 percent miserable.

It's a frenzy, a frenzy.

The only cure for it is you.

Sharon?

I feel better already just being near you.

That scent of your hair, touch of your hand.

Oh, the miracle of it, the miracle of it.

The sweet, sweet miracle of it.

She loves me!

Her hand fits me cheek.

Oh, Sharon, you're the only one!

The only one!

[music continues]

You're not Sharon at all.

You're Susan the Silent.

Yet I still I feel the same frenzy for you.

Is this what it's like to be mortal?

Is every girl the only girl? I'm beginning to like it.

["When I'm Not Near The Girl I Love"]

♪ Oh my heart is beating wildly ♪

♪ And it's all because you're here ♪

♪ When I'm not near

♪ The girl I love

♪ I love the girl I'm near

♪ Every femme that flutters by me ♪

♪ Is a flame that must be fanned ♪

♪ When I can't fondle

♪ The hand I'm fond of

♪ I fondle the hand at hand

♪ My heart's in a pickle

♪ It's constantly fickle

♪ And not too partickle

♪ I fear

♪ When I'm not near

♪ The girl I love

♪ I love the girl I'm near!

Sharon!

I-I mean Susan.

Susan!

♪ What if they're tall and tender? ♪

♪ What if they're small and slender? ♪

♪ Long as they got that gender

♪ I surrender!

[music continues]

♪ Always I can't refuse 'em

♪ Always my feet pursues 'em

♪ Long as they've got a bosom

♪ I woos 'em!

[music continues]

[music continues]

♪ I love the girl I'm near

[music continues]

♪ When I'm not near

♪ The girl I love

♪ I love the girl I'm near

[music continues]

♪ I'm confessing a confession

♪ And I hope I'm not verbose

♪ When I'm not close to the kiss ♪

♪ That I cling to

♪ I cling to the kiss that's close ♪

♪ As I'm more and more a mortal ♪

♪ I am more and more a case ♪

♪ When I'm not facing the face ♪

♪ That I fancy

♪ I fancy the face I face ♪

♪ For Sharon I'm caring

♪ But Susan I'm choosing

♪ I'm faithful to whos'n is here ♪

♪ When I'm not near

♪ The girl I love

♪ I love the girl

♪ I'm near ♪

So there you are!

The wrath of Ozymandias on ya!

From dusk to sunup, I've searched forest and hill

and now I find ya philandering with a woman in your arms!

- What's wrong with that? - What's wrong?

At a moment like this? Have you forgotten me daughter, Sharon?

I have not! She's the woman I love.

Present company excepted.

Have you forgotten the shamrock of her eyes

and her voice like the bells of St. Mary's?

- Has anything happened? - Indeed, it has.

(Finian) 'This is her last sunrise.'

'Twenty minutes from now at the crack of dawn'

'the glory that was once Sharon and the boy'

that was her beloved will perish in smoke and flame!

I told you the gold could only bring you doom and gloom.

Gloom and doom!

Don't blame the gold! You're the culprit!

- I? - Aye, you!

If you weren't a leprechaun, you'd have had no pot of gold

if you had no pot of gold, I wouldn't have been forced

to borrow it, I wouldn't have come to this primitive country

and me daughter wouldn't have been burned at the stake

for witchcraft!

It's my fault. It's all my fault.

Oh, the merciful saints, forgive me.

[screaming]

A-and her poor, broken father will forgive you too

if you'll just spare a little magic for her.

(Og) 'Oh, anything, Mr. McLonergan. I'd do anything.'

(Finian) 'Then turn the senator white again in God's name'

'and save Sharon's life.'

'Og, we've only 20 minutes!'

Well, Sambo.

You don't look like you lightened up a smidgen.

Well, I could do it in a minute, then we'd have 19 minutes left.

Oh, thank heavens. I knew you wouldn't fail me.

Hey!

Why not wait 19 minutes

and leave it all to the last minute?

It's more dramatic.

Now, Og. Now! It's a matter of life and death!

Very well, Mr. McLonergan, I'll just be needing

one thing from you.

What is it you need? What is it? Speak up, man! What?

- What do you need? - The crock of gold.

[gasping] Give me the strength!

Give me the strength to resist me own strength

to keep from choking him to death!

How can you stand there that brazen

and pretend ya haven't got it?

- But I haven't got it! - But you haven't got it..

...why can't I find it?

I've dug more holes this very night

than all the gophers in Christendom!

Well, look, think back to the night when you buried it.

- What exactly were you doing? - I don't know where it is.

How would I know? I-I wouldn't..

Well, well, well, I was standing there

with a jug of whiskey in one hand

and the crock of gold in the other--

For all you know you must have buried the jug

and swallowed the crock!

Why, you machiavellian little half-pint pirate!

Stealing me property! I want it back. I tell you!

Oh, please, Mr. McLonergan. I really--

- Where is it? - I haven't got it!

I'll throttle it out of you! Give it back! Where is it?

Where is it? Where is it?

Why, you perfidious little wretch!

I'll throttle it out of you!

I don't know where it is!

- Now, where is it? - I wish I--

[gagging]

- Where is it? - I wish I.. Agh!

[grunting]

It's almost dawn.

[instrumental music]

(Finian) 'They can't do it to her.'

It'll be one of me or a hundred of them!

Og? Og, if you have a mite of merciful magic left in you

help me save me daughter's life, will you now?

[exhales sharply]

Oh, Susan. It's a crisis.

A crisis.

They're gonna burn Sharon for a witch.

She's not a witch.

She must've been standing by the crock when she made the wish.

Susan, you must have been there.

Where was Sharon standing?

Where, where was she.. Oh, it's no good asking you.

You can't hear me. I'll have to ask somebody else.

There's no time. Look, Susan, come here. Sit down.

Look, I'll dance you the questions

and you dance me the answers. You see what I mean?

Questions, answers, right?

[humming]

[instrumental music]

I'll put it another way.

[humming]

[Og grunting]

[spitting]

[humming]

[instrumental music]

Susan, Susan, Susan.

You're a darling girl, and I, I love you very much..

...but I just wish to God you could talk.

- I love you. - Hm?

I love you.

What beautiful new words.

- Will you say 'em again? - I love you.

She loves me. She loves me!

You're talking, Susan! Where was Sharon standing?

- I love you! - You love.. Oh, I know that!

But you're talking.

That means I must have wished you into it.

Which means I must have been standing over the crock.

The crock. The crock.

It looks like you are permanently a black man.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, my heavens, what have I done?

[instrumental music]

The crock.

There's only one wish left.

The last one.

If I use it to wish the senator white..

I'll never be a leprechaun again.

[clamor]

We've gotta sound the alarm.

Yes. Mr. Rogers, sound the alarm.

[softly] Fire. Fire. Fire.

But I don't wanna be mortal.

I wanna go back to Fairyland.

Fairyland was never like this.

[clamor]

Where is she?

Rawkins, ya blackguard, I wish you're white.

[thunder crashing]

[clamor]

- She turned him white! - He's done it!

Thank you, Og.

Release those prisoners!

Let them out! Let them go!

[bell clanging]

[siren wailing]

[instrumental music]

[clamor]

[music continues]

Put it out! Put it out!

[clamor]

[man shouting] 'Come on! Keep that water coming in here!'

- Keep the water coming! - Keep the water coming.

- Keep the water coming. - Keep the water coming.

Keep the water coming. Keep the water coming.

- Susan is talking! - Susan's talking!

- Susan is talking! - Susan's talking.

- Oh, Susan's talking. - Susan's talking.

- Susan's talking. - Susan's talking.

Susan, Susan's talking?

Woody! Susan's talking.

- What? - Susan's talking!

- Is it true? - Mm-hm.

Well, say something, will you?

I've been waiting 20 years to hear you.

- Isn't it grandish, Woody? - Ah!

[laughing]

Oh, so you used the crock to wish back Susan's tongue.

And you used up the last wish.

And now the crock has turned to worthless dross.

Aye, right, Mr. McLonergan. Dross.

- Oh, no! - Worthless dross.

Hey, Woody! Over here! The lab's going!

[instrumental music]

(Howard) Four years of sweat and work

and it's all going up in smoke!

It's alright, Howard. It's alright.

We're gonna put it right out.

Oh, now, it's smoking!

[music continues]

[glass shattering]

Homegrown mentholated smoke!

[cheering]

- It burns! - It burns!

[both laughing]

["Look To The Rainbow"]

♪ Oh I searched all the earth ♪

♪ And I scanned all the skies ♪

♪ And I found it at last

♪ In my own true love's eyes

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow it over the hill and stream ♪

♪ Look look

♪ Look to the rainbow

♪ Follow the fellow who follows a dream ♪

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Follow the fellow

♪ Who follows a dream ♪

(minister) 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

[laughing]

[cheering]

[cheering]

Father?

Are you leaving us?

- Aye. I've had Fort Knox. - Oh, I see.

[instrumental music]

Things are indeed hopeless.

Hopeless, but they're not serious.

[crying] But where are you going?

Oh. To find me a rainbow.

Finian's rainbow.

It never fails to come up when a McLonergan is down.

Surely, there may not be a pot of gold at the end of it..

...but there's a beautiful new world under it.

[instrumental music]

Make it shine on Sharon.

[sobbing]

Goodbye, my darling.

[music continues]

Goodbye, me friends. I'll see you all in Glocca Morra.

Hey!

Hey!

Sharon, where is Glocca Morra?

Oh.

Well, you see, it's always somewhere...over there.

["How Are Things In Glocca Morra?"]

♪ So to

♪ Every weeping willow

♪ To each brook along the way ♪

♪ To each lad who comes a-whistling ♪

♪ Too-ra-la-a-a-y

♪ May we meet

♪ In Glocca Morra

♪ Some fine

♪ D-a-ay

♪ How are things in Glocca Morra? ♪

♪ Is that little brook still leaping there? ♪

♪ Does it still run down to Donny Cove ♪

♪ Through Killybegs Kilkerry and Kildare? ♪

♪ How are things in Glocca Morra? ♪

♪ Is that willow tree still weeping there? ♪

♪ Does that laddie with a twinkling eye ♪

♪ Come whistling by?

♪ And does he walk away

♪ Sad and dreamy there

♪ Not to see me there?

♪ So I ask each weeping willow ♪

♪ And each brook along the way ♪

♪ And each lad that comes a-whistling ♪

♪ Too-ra-lay

♪ How are things in Glocca Morra ♪

♪ This fine day? ♪

[instrumental music]

[orchestral music]

[music continues]

[music continues]