Original subtitles

Fuck!

♪ You've gotta have heart ♪

♪ All you really need is heart ♪

♪ When the odds are sayin' you'll never win ♪

♪ That's when the grin should start ♪

♪ You've gotta have hope ♪

♪ Mustn't sit around and mope ♪

♪ Nothing's half as bad as it may appear ♪

♪ Wait till next year and hope ♪

♪ When your luck is battin' zero ♪

♪ Get your chin up off the floor ♪

♪ Mister you can be a hero ♪

♪ You can open any door ♪

♪ There's nothin' to it but to do it ♪

♪ You gotta have heart ♪

♪ Miles and miles and miles of heart ♪

♪ Oh it's fine to be a genius of course ♪

♪ But keep that old horse before the cart ♪

♪ First you've gotta have heart ♪

♪ You've gotta have heart ♪

♪ Yes, you gotta have heart ♪

♪ When your luck Is battin' zero ♪

♪ Get your chin up off the floor ♪

♪ Mister you can be a hero ♪

♪ You can open any door ♪

♪ There's nothin to it but to do it ♪

♪ You gotta have heart ♪

♪ Miles and miles and miles Of heart ♪

♪ Oh it's fine to be a genius of course ♪

I'm gonna kill you, you fucking jagoff!

That's me, Peg Dahl.

People call me Peg, Peggy, or Pegger.

The maroon suit and shitty nurse shoes

may not tell you this, but I'm a hustler.

My unathletic ass just ran half way across Buffalo,

because an asshole in that building

fucked with my money.

Do not fuck...

...with my money.

Before I climbed ranks in the most prolific

legal shakedown in America,

I was just an aggressive little shit with a gift for gab

and a slight hostility towards...

Buffalo, New York: the epicenter of the rust belts.

A city whose favorite meal is a discarded chicken part.

Hmm

A city hopelessly dedicated to a staple of disappointment.

Hey. Don't rag on my Bills.

A city whose appreciation for unhealthy lifestyles

ultimately led...

...to my father's death.

Okay. What's this about?

- I drew that. - "Peg Inc."

Our mission is to never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever...

be scared of the financial "what ifs."

What if I can't afford clothes, so my daughter wears

her brother's disgusting hand-me-downs?

- Not true. - Shut up.

What if I can't afford food,

so my kids only eat ten cent wings?

A small investment of a thousand dollars...

...in a semi-risky fund could grow to cover

the cost of an ivy league education

which is the beeline...

...to the Fortune 500 and financial freedom

- and she's gone. - Hello?

I told you, that was my husband's credit card.

You're not getting nothing...

...because there's nothing to get.

Goodbye.

To continue, Henry Ford said...

I love your presentation but sit your tush down

on the sofa and eat your wings.

Hey, didn't you listen? I hate wings.

- I like wings. - Because you're grody.

- You're grody. - Why can't we have normal food,

- like a tuna casserole? - Casseroles are pricey.

So, you're not gonna help?

You know what, I can't afford supper,

let alone 1000 dollars.

Well, if I had 1000 dollars, I'd give it to you.

You don't and you won't.

Peg, I can't think about investments right now.

The salon is not doing so well.

- Then, get another job. - Half of Buffalo is outta work.

You're talking outta your ass, Ma.

- Peg Dahl! - Dad would've helped me.

Listen, I love you more than the sun and the moon

and the stars above, but you gotta learn to start

thinking about other people

and not thinking about yourself all the time.

Now sit down and eat your wings.

Fine.

It became clear to me that my mom didn't have

the vision.

Are you seeing this?

If we were ever gonna get out, I needed answers.

This is hilarious.

When I came to American, I had nothing.

Now I have everything I could ever dream.

The cars, the boats, the women. Total financial freedom.

Can we switch the channel?

Now I can pass this information onto you.

I already paid that one! How come...

The only person responsible for your financial freedom is you.

So, what you wait for? Come on.

Let's make money!

From that moment on,

my life became a single-minded pursuit!

I love 'em so much, I could barely part with them.

What are you doing?

Getting 75 percent margins, Ma.

Get in here or you're grounded. Now!

- Go Bills. - Go Bills.

I became a student of money.

While other kids begged for allowances,

I studied profit margins.

While other kids were scrapbooking pictures

of pretty ponies,

I was compiling financial advice.

I was grooming myself to be the next Warren Buffet.

I had a plan; go to an Ivy League school,

then to Wall Street, then get so rich,

some little girl was gonna say

she's grooming herself to be the next me.

But college is expensive, people.

And babysitting wasn't gonna pay for it.

I got smokes, one dollar a piece! I got smokes.

One dollar a piece!

How many can I get?

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

Got smokes. One dollar a piece.

Hey, hey, hey. Gimme them smokes, bitch.

You can have as many as you want...

...for one dollar a piece.

I said, gimme them smokes before I crack your noggin'.

Give me your best shot, dickwad.

- Principal! - Oh, no, no!

- Hey! - Get out.

- Don't sit there. - Got your thing here.

I love that!

How'd you make such a big graphic?

My buddy's dad has like a gigantic printer.

So fancy.

Hey, shouldn't you put your money in a bank?

Three percent interest isn't worth 30 percent in taxes.

If I fill ten of these boxes, we're set for... life.

- Oh, my god! - What?

- What is it? - Oh, my god!

- You got in! - No, I didn't!

- You did! You got in! - No, I didn't!

Oh, my God.

To Pegger!

The first one in the fam

to go to a fancy-schmancy school!

Honey!

What's going on?

We can't pay for this.

What? We'll get a scholarship or loans

- or something. - Mm-mm, no.

If we took out loans for all four years,

it would be 70 grand in interest.

Just... in interest.

Well, I don't know all about that.

I never had a kid go to college before.

- No offense, honey. - None taken.

- But, good casserole, Ma. - Thank you.

I like peas in my casserole.

If Dad were here, he'd find a way

to get the money.

You know, that's true. He always had a hustle.

I remember one year,

he took me to the Bills game for my birthday

but then we got there, he scalped the tix.

Yeah, I was so pissed. I was the one

that bought them tix.

Where'd you make that graphic?

Tabatha! Gabby! Tabatha!

Anybody seen this black girl, too much eyeliner.

Oh, my God. These are like best seats ever.

Where is she? Ugh.

- You okay, lady? - Huh?

- You okay? - Oh.

So sweet, yeah, I'm all right. I just...

I think my friend flaked.

Not really sure why because these are the best seats ever.

They're like fifty-yard-line, seven rows up!

- Fifty-yard-line? - Yeah, fifty-yard-line.

- I'll take 'em. I got, one... - You will? You sure?

- ...two... - That will do. Yeah,

just give me that.

Anyone need any tickets?

- No, you look good in that wig. - You look good.

- No, you look amazing. - No, you do!

God bless the Bills, you know. You guys are just the best.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Oh, my God! I just found two tickets on the floor.

Two tickets, two tickets, two tickets.

Do you need a ticket.

See you later. All right. Okay.

Two hundred, two hundred, you know what, I just...

I can't do that... Tim.

You said your name is Tim. You just gotta trust me here.

I wouldn't screw you over. I'm a Bills fans.

Okay, sure. I counterfeited Bills tix.

But it was for a bigger cause. Higher education.

Higher education is the key to financial freedom.

Ma'am...

Your scam is desecrating the sacred ground

of our Buffalo Bills.

No, it's not.

The defendant is facing 12 counts

of second-degree forgery,

a class D felony carrying a minimum sentence of 40 months.

Sorry about the mess. I'm, uh, workin' through lunch here.

- It's fine. - What kinda wings do you like?

Well, I'm not the one on trial, Your Honor.

But if I had to pick, it would be Anchor Bar.

Unless the wings you're eating right now

are from a different, uh, pa... part.

In which case, I... I like all wings. I like all wings.

You were right.

- Anchor's my spot. - Not Duff wings?

- What are you, a tourist? - You insulting my wings?

You wanna come over here and say that to my face, jagoff?

Who you calling a jagoff, jagoff?

Mistrial, mistrial.

...you jagoff...

And, just like that, my plan was officially toast.

No Ivy League school. No Fortune 500.

I had to create my own form of higher education.

But you know, prison wasn't all that bad.

Not all the best professors are at Yale and Harvard.

Hookin' ain't worth the hassle anymore.

Thinking about going into phone sexing.

- Frances. - Yeah.

Um, can you give me a run down

of the market in here.

Oh, that's all through Backer.

Backer.

Yeah, she's really tough.

So, they call her Backer

'cause she is like a defensive end for the Bills.

Okay, but what... does she provide?

Uh, TP, cigs, tamps, pads, cuppa noodles...

Okay. Fine. What doesn't she provide?

Oh!

Yogurts! Two smokes a tube!

Thank you very much!

Yogurts! Two smokes a tube. Yogurts! Two smokes a tube.

Gimme them 'gurts, bitch.

- You must be Backer. - Gimme them 'gurts,

or I'm gonna break your tiny little ass in two.

Okay, well, I think we can come to some sort of agreement...

I'm making lots of friends in here.

It's not that bad.

Shut it. I know you had your brother

sneak in them yogurt cups.

They're tubes, Ma.

- Hey, Rhonda. - Hey!

JJ is a good boy. He works 14 hours a day.

He doesn't have time for your schemes.

Fourteen hours a day doing what?

He bought that bar from the Yeager's.

I just took over the payment.

Ma, are you talking to me?

'Cause I can't hear you when you're drying and talking

at the same time.

Ma, you got anymore Genny in here?

You've had enough Genny, okay.

You can have a pop.

We got orange pop, grape pop and cherry pop.

Ah, you got a cornucopia of pop there.

Watch the sass, Rhonda.

Hey, you good?

Okay.

God dang it.

- God dang it what? - Ugh, the other line.

Other line like...

like as in collectors are still after you?

Those asses are calling looking for you.

Sorry, for me? My debts not too steep.

They're not looking for me.

It grew.

Restitution, court fees, fines. Plus that whole rigamarole

with your victims suing for emotional distress.

But that case was thrown out.

So, that's not... that's not... that's not possible.

Well, your lawyer's fees weren't.

So, how much?

You're pushing $50,000, Peg.

- Fuck! Motherfucking fuck! - Inmate, inmate.

- Fuck, fuck! - Inmate...

- JJ? - Yeah.

Will you hang up the phone for me, please?

- Hey, Pegger. Hello. - Motherfucker...

God fucking damn it!

Refrain from damaging prison property.

Cheryl, it's me, Peg.

Please stop busting my balls, you know.

Sorry, Peg.

Okay.

- Ready? - Yeah, ready?

Maybe it was better this way.

I mean, I didn't need college.

Mm-hmm?

Gates and Jobs didn't graduate college.

They also didn't spend 40 months in the clink.

Not that getting out would be better.

As a convicted felon, I was gonna have a bitch of a time

getting a lease, a loan,

or any job that wasn't some variation of shoveling shit.

So, when are you getting a job?

Ma, give her a break. She just got out.

She's right. I need a job.

Kath, can you get in here! I'm dripping!

- Hey, Pegger. - Hi, Rhonda.

- Welcome back. - Thank you

Oh, honey, you got some roots happening.

We are gonna take care of that later today.

Hey, if you want, you can work at my bar until you find

- something better. - Really?

See that? JJ is a good boy.

Don't go getting him involved in any more crap.

Fucking A.

Excuse...

This toilet is out of order, what are you...

Are you... Screw this. This is insane.

Hey, come on,

- I got health code standards. - No, give me ten percent of net receipts

or I wipe this on everything.

Fine.

JJ, I was joking.

What are you doing?

- How am I supposed... - Oh, my God! My God...

Just stand up for yourself more.

Okay, fine. Then get off of my bar.

No, you are better than this though.

You know what I'm better than? You, 'cause I'm a bar owner.

And you're a janitor. And I like being a bar owner.

I wanna stop trying not to be poor

and start trying to get rich.

- I make a fine living. - Fine?

I hate that word.

Fine is like mediocrity's dumb cousin.

It's probably one of your collectors.

Stop calling my brother.

Yeah, that'll probably convince them.

That was... That was real convincing there.

- JJ. - Yup.

I have, uh, a secret that I wanna tell you.

- No, you're gonna hit me. - No. I'm not.

Come here.

- Here. - Okay, fine.

Okay. It's not that big of a deal.

But, I'm gonna smack the Buffalo out of you.

Sorry, oh, my God, I kicked you in the b...

This is ADA Graham Feany.

We have a spousal altercation at 1010 Allen.

Please send units. Thank you, Sir.

Wait, what is he doing here?

- No. - Stop it. Get it out of my

- fucking ass. - Hey.

Hey, hey, asshole.

The police have been called. So, put your wife down.

- That's my sister, man. Jesus. - Mind your own business.

Just goofing around, okay.

- But that was fun. - No balls.

- I know. I forgot. - I told you.

Next time no balls. This time, whoops.

- But it was fun. - Sorry, sorry, uh...

I apologize, it just appeared... it seemed as if you were in...

in distress.

I'm not some Buffalo damsel in distress.

I know how that just sounded. But I was just trying to help.

Do I look like I need your help?

To be honest... kind of.

Says the guy with condiment stains on his shirt.

I didn't... think that was...

- Can I have a water. - ...noticeable.

Look, we got off on the wrong foot.

Um, my name's Graham.

Let me... let me buy you beer. I'll buy you a beer.

No, thanks.

Yeah, she just got out of prison.

- That's not why. - Why not?

Because I'm not gonna have a drink with the guy

that put me in there.

Oh, you're the one whose lawyer attacked the judge!

- Yeah. - Yeah, that's her.

- That's me. - What are the odds.

Um, I'm...

You would've only gotten probation if he just...

Looks like your friends are here.

Oh, excuse me, excuse me.

Why don't you just block the number?

'Cause they'll just call from another number.

There's no stopping these guys.

- Hello. - What are you...

This is Sal Scarpetta calling for one Peg Dahl,

about your $29,243 debt with...

Right. What about it?

Oh, shit. You're still there. Um...

Well, uh...

I'm willing to make a deal.

- Okay. And... - If you settle right now,

I'll discount it to $5,000.

- Yeah? - Oh, that was it.

Okay, very cool. Sal.

That was the worst sales pitch I've ever heard.

I ain't in sales.

What do you mean you're not in sales?

Your job is to convince me

to give you my money. That's sales.

And the best salesman is an informed listener.

Did you do a Learning Annex or something?

Look. You're not listening.

As a debt collector...

you're not selling a product, right?

You're selling a feeling.

You're selling... relief.

Relief from the weight of failure.

So, here is your protocol.

Learn from the client, use the new information

to gain trust, then present relief. Idiot.

Okay. Since you know so much, how do I sell relief?

You work in a noisy office. Probably a bullpen.

Bullpen's create competition amongst the employees,

therefore, you get paid on commission.

And by the desperation in your voice,

I can tell that you need a win or you may lose your job.

You can hear that?

Be grateful, at least you have a job. I'm broke.

- Scrubbing toilets. - Yeah, my job ain't bad.

But I have to work Sundays. So, I miss Bills games.

Bills games?

- You're in Buffalo? - Yeah. A lot of agencies are.

We collect from everywhere.

Especially Florida but, most of us are in Buffalo.

Interesting, Sal... Sal, okay. That's...

So, you like Anchor Bar or Duffs?

Duffs, of course.

Well, now I definitely want to help you

because you're a Buffalonian like me.

I can get you that win. I can.

You just gotta do one simple thing for me.

Erase the line that reads "Peg Dahl, $29,243."

Let's help each other out. Come on, you and me, Sal.

Al... Sal, is it Al or Sal?

Whoa.

I honestly just considered erasing your shit.

Almost, why don't you just do it?

You know, I... I gave you the protocol,

it's your turn. Kill the debt. Please.

Sorry. I can't give up a $500 rip.

You take a ten percent commission?

Yeah.

At the beginning of this call, you offered me

a $25,000 discount on a $30,000 debt.

So, you lost $2,500 before I even picked up?

I'm sorry, what did you just say?

- They say there are... - Hello.

...moments in life that you'll never forget.

Your wedding day...the birth of a kid.

For me, it was the day Sal Scarpetta

talked too damn much.

Where are your offices?

Fuck Ivy League. I had a new plan.

Hi.

Hey.

I, uh, I take it you're Sal.

And you're the chick with the great advice.

- I got another tip for you. - Okay.

- Cut that disgusting mullet. - I give him a job...

- But my girl likes it. - Then you should dump her.

- Fuck that curly-haired shit-for-brains. - Yeah.

Now, where's your boss?

Son-of-a-bitch!

I can't believe one of my own double sold my paper!

- Will you frickin' calm down? - I'll rip his fucking throat.

Hey, you going to Mom's for the game?

Oh, yeah. Of course.

Do me a favor. Tell your wife not to be so stingy

with the marshmallows in her ambrosia salad. Huh?

Her name is Tammy, ya jerk.

- Hi. - Oh.

What are you doing bringing some random chick in here, Scarpetta?

I ain't paying you shit without a paternity test.

No. Boss, this the debtor I told you about.

The one that turned me.

Oh, really!

Well, Sal said you're, uh, like a prodigy on the phone.

But he didn't mention you're such a piece.

- What? - What's keeping you from working at HSBC or M&T?

Forty months at Albion.

Huh.

Josh Wisenewski.

They call me "Wizz"

'cause I'm the smartest fuck in the business.

Come.

- Oh, my God! - We collect on everything.

Medical bills, credit cards, student loans.

If it's been charged-off by the bank,

we do whatever it takes to get it back.

That sounds like... like a mob shakedown.

A shakedown backed by Wall Street.

Hey, what's the difference between a hooker

- and a debt collector? - I like this joke.

A hooker takes your money before screwing you.

- I get it. - This...

- is paper. - I know.

No, debt is called "paper."

I control the paper. You do good, I give you more.

So, It's just... debt is just sheets of paper?

Ah, the big agencies have software with the cloud

and that razzmatazz,

but I'm not about to let some jagoff from Lithuania

- hack my shit. - Right.

I'm old-school. You wanna steal from me,

you gotta do it to my face.

- Who's stolen from you? - Who hasn't?

Them farm boys in Lockport.

The dagos in Niagara Falls.

Them jerks that work out of the meat packing plant

in the Fruit Belt.

But I put 'em all in their place and now they are begging

- for my scraps. - Yeah, I'm sure.

- See this? - Yeah.

This is war.

The agencies that collect the most are the agencies

- that survive. - Hmm.

- Where do you get the paper? - My brother, Mitch.

- The guy with the pube-stache? - One and the same.

Mitch buys the paper from the banks for 20 bips.

Sells it to us for anywhere between a 100 and 500 bips,

depending on dilution.

Diluted debt is... is cheaper but it's harder to collect.

Okay. What's a... "bip?"

Basis point.

One hundredth of a cent. You follow?

Are you confused? They want you to be confused?

Forget the bips. Here's the deal.

Let's say... you... owe the bank money.

That bank doesn't wanna chase your lazy ass down,

because it's not profitable enough.

So, they sell your debt to this Pubestache

for pennies on the dollar.

Then he doubles his money by unloading it on this guy,

the self-proclaimed, "smartest fuck in the bizz."

These guys are the ones clogging your phones every day.

Every cent that they collect over their purchase price

is profit. Cash out the wazoo.

There are barely any laws regulating debt collection

and there aren't enough resources to enforce

the ones that do exist.

They can garnish wages, revoke a license,

put a lien on your house or business.

And that is just the legal stuff. Get it?

Good. Continue.

- So... - So?

- ...what do you think? - What do I think?

I think that, uh, I think... I think that I, uh...

I think that I... I have an offer.

You wanna make me an offer?

Yeah, I wanna make you an offer.

If I get to the top of that board, in one month...

you erase my debt, 50,000 dollars.

Which you can buy from your brother

at whatever discount he gives you.

What do you say?

Top of that board.

All right, listen up, ass bags.

This chick here thinks she's better than you.

Three cases of Genny to whoever can collect more than her

in the next week.

Yeah, whose desk is she getting?

- What? - Whose desk is she getting?

She is getting the desk of the son-of-a-bitch

who double sold my paper!

- Was that necessary? - You got a deal.

Oh. Okay.

- This is Big D. - Darren Meedham. Hi.

I'm calling about the, uh, $5,141.43 debt,

that is yours. That you have...

Yeah, I'm not paying that shizz.

Well, on your college application,

you've listed Sherry Meedham as your emergency contact.

Should I call Sherry to resolve this?

No, no. Uh, please don't call my mom!

Yo, turn that shit off.

Look, I would pay, I just...

I don't have money. Yeah.

Use your student loans.

You can delay your tuition payment,

you can't delay my call to Sherry.

Okay, just take it out of my account.

Okay.

Uh, well then, okay.

That was easy.

That was really easy.

Yeah, yeah...

I need another... another slip.

No, ma'am... Okay.

Clearing your debt will decrease your stress,

which will absolutely increase your milk supply.

Right, I...

Okay, thank you.

But, money is just a tool. It's just a tool.

He will take you wherever you wish,

but it will not replace you as the driver.

Wait, I need more paper. You are the driver.

You are the driver. You are the driver.

Okay.

I'm glad to have done this.

All right, goodbye. Goodbye.

There is an amazing feeling you get

when you find your true calling.

Every move you make seems like the right one.

Are you serious?

Yeah, we have the legal authority to pull

your fireman's license. I don't... want to.

- I don't... - I'm trying to save people out here.

Think about all the people that you won't be able to save

when I pull your license.

So...

All right, asswipes. We got a new number one.

Peg, where you've been? I haven't seen you in weeks.

Did you eat all fish sticks? We need 'em on Friday.

No, I don't... Ma, I...

I can't talk. I'm at... I'm at work.

Remember I have a job. I have a job.

- What's your job? - What does it matter? I...

Relief. I'm relieving people of the burden of debt.

- Are you a debt collector? - I, uh, gotta go, Ma.

Bye.

I wouldn't say no to a fish stick.

- You get his paper. - Thanks.

Woah, Wizz.

That... I'm just making sure that this is right.

- That says 1998. - Mm-hmm.

You can collect 20-year-old debt?

Debt never dies.

It never dies.

Debt never dies.

Right.

Hello

May I please speak to Mrs. Barbra Cooney?

If you're calling about the debt,

it's in my husband's name and he passed away. Good day.

Wait, uh, are you...

still in St. Stevens, Ohio?

I am, dear. Why?

I brought you some cupcakes.

Blue ones.

And you drove

- all the way from Buffalo? - Mm-hmm.

Yeah, well your relief...

is worth five hours of my time.

I appreciate the visit, dear, but I won't pay that debt.

Oh, I understand.

You depended on your husband in life...

and he abandoned you in death.

But there's a saying...

"Debt... never dies."

And you've carried this debt for years.

And it will continue to exist when you're gone.

It will be passed onto your children.

I'm sorry and your grandchildren.

And your great-grandchildren,

and your great-great-grandchildren,

and your great-great-great- grandchildren.

But now is your time to release the burden.

To be free.

To... make sure that your...

- Hi, Mrs. Cooney? - Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

It's all right.

Why are you here, again?

- Why am I here? - Oh, look.

You brought cupcakes.

You closed Cooney for 20 grand?

Wow, honestly, I'm... I'm impressed.

- Yeah. - Twenty grand.

Where's my... Where's my money?

Calm your tits, okay. I'm trying to pay

- you a compliment. - Pay me my money.

Where's my ten percent...

...you know what I mean, pay me my money.

How long we've been milking her?

Like, uh, a while, huh.

No one's ever hit it this big. So, respect.

Sorry, what are you talking about?

Oh, we collected on the original account years ago.

We keep calling because...

why not squeeze out every last drop?

Nice.

Okay.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Two grand.

Yup, it's your commission.

You mocking on me?

- No, minus expenses. - You mocking on me?

He's mocking on me.

Hey, you should be proud. Okay?

That's really good for a first timer.

I collected a hundred and twenty-five grand.

Hey. Come here.

- You're good for a chick. - Don't you...

Okay. You got talent.

But you ain't the best.

I wanna make you better.

Okay?

So, if you wanna get better, stay close to me...

and I'll take care of you.

Get your fucking arm off of me.

Now.

Thank you.

Okay.

If you wanna be a bar bitch...

why don't you get me a two Blues and a shot.

Thanks for bringing these guys.

I mean, they're the worst but they're drinking a shit ton.

Asshole.

- You okay? - No, I'm not.

Just because I work for these dickwads,

they think I'm their bitch.

- So, quit. - Sorry, excuse me?

- Where did you even come from? - You should quit.

I can't buy you dinner if you are working for

the Wisenewski brothers.

I buy my own dinner. So, thank you very much.

Plus, it'd be best if you just get away from 'em.

Before I lock their asses up.

You're investigating collectors?

Yes, ma'am.

And you're consorting with the worst of the worst.

Like that guy. Chad Brombkiewcz.

He'll pretend to be Child Protective Services

while harassing a mother.

Or that guy, Rick Pellicana.

He'll call a debtor's family at a hospital

and say he'll pull the plug if they don't pay.

Oh, woah, woah! Don't say a fucking word to him, Peg!

- I can talk to whoever I want. - What did I say, huh?

- Stay away from my people. - I can talk to whoever

- the fuck I want. - All right, come on.

Hey, don't touch her man.

- Hey. - Nah, nah, nah.

Don't you touch me.

- You gonna hit a women. - Why wouldn't I?

Hey.

Did you call my wife a twat?

- Not now, Mitch. - Just stay out of this one.

Did you call my wife a twat?

And don't you fucking lie to me, Joshua.

Or I'll cut off your fucking supply.

Oh, I might have said that only a twat

would skimp on the marshmallows in an ambrosia salad.

So, I don't know, does she?

You son-of-a-bitch!

Mitch, you don't want this.

I love this.

Hey.

At this moment, it became clear

that if I continued to work for these douchebags,

I was gonna turn into one of these douchebags.

It was time... to become my own boss.

We should get out of here,

before you get your ass handed to you. Come on.

Let's go. Let's go. Now.

- Did you bring your car? - Yeah.

Give me your keys, you're in no condition to drive.

- Is she a twat? - Tammy is an angel!

I live on Delaware, take Franklin.

Right, no, I'm not going to a stranger's house

in the middle of the night. You can sleep it off

at my house.

Where'd the fuck she go?

Get her back in here.

You leaving with him?

This is why I don't hire bitches.

You have a very nice home.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

And that is quite the wall piece.

Is it supposed to be oozing like that?

No, it's infested or something and I think it's disgusting.

My dad hated it too. My mom likes it.

- I don't know why. - Where's your dad?

Uh...

My dad died when I was younger.

- Heart attack. - Sorry.

Drank too much. Ate too much crap food.

He was a good guy.

- Oh. - Yeah.

Great guy, actually.

- Always thinking bigger. - Bigger?

Yeah. This one time, he bought all the cards at Bingo,

and he had my brother and I running around,

marking dots and stuff like that,

and then pissing off all the old people.

He was really funny.

That's cool. How much did he win?

I don't know but at that time if felt like a million.

- Hmm. - You know.

Yeah. So, uh...

why do you work for Wisenewski?

Worked.

Today was my last day.

Good.

- Uh... Good. - That piece of shit.

Wouldn't want any...

conflict of interest between us.

Mm-hmm. But here's the thing,

there's gotta be interest before there can be conflict.

Uh-huh.

- Just saying. - Hmm.

What was it like working... uh... never mind.

You wanna ask me about Wizz?

- I kinda do. - Okay.

Go ahead. Quid pro quo.

You start.

All right, okay.

How long have you worked for him?

Few weeks.

How do you monitor illegal activities at agencies?

Consumer complaints.

Have you ever seen anyone engage in

- phantom debt collection? - I don't know what that means.

Have you convicted any collectors?

I have eleven open cases. Four previous convictions.

What about "re-dos", collecting the same debt twice.

- You ever seen that? - Mm-mm, no.

Are you trying to flip me?

- No. I'm not. - No?

But back to "re-dos". Now, most collectors,

they prey on older people because they...

You just kissed me because you don't wanna

- answer me. - No.

You don't wanna answer anymore questions, do you?

Will you shut up?

Two-fifteen.

JJ's ten forty-five.

Hi.

Good morning.

Mm.

Good morning. Do we have time for...

- Um... - No.

- No? - No, sorry.

I gotta go to work.

Okay.

Wait, I thought you quit.

I did quit.

I quit working for Wizz.

What?

I'm going out on my own. I'm gonna do it right.

No threats, no bullshit. I know if I run it cleanly,

I can make more money than all those d-bags.

Cool. All right. Cool. Excuse me.

- Oh, all right. - Yeah.

What a gentleman.

- At least, I'm trying. - Thanks.

Do what you gotta do.

All right.

Did you just turn your underwear inside out?

Second sides.

Excuse me?

Second sides. You flip 'em over, you get an extra day.

Is something wrong?

- Yes, something's wrong. - Well, tell me what's wrong.

Peg, you're starting your own firm.

Just know,

when you break the law...

I'ma be right there to lock you up.

Right alongside every single one of 'em.

Well, that's impossible.

I'm a woman.

- They separate sexes in prison. - Mm-hmm. Mm.

Stop. I'm mad at you.

I'm gonna do it right.

I wanna do it right.

Nah.

Every collector, every single one of 'em, they start off

with the best intentions.

- And then they turn. - So, I'm like everyone else.

- That's what you're telling me. - I'm just saying.

- No, I hear what you're saying. - Good.

- But you're wrong. - Okay.

Do I smell cigarettes?

Yeah, Ma?

- Yeah? - That's my...

- Oh. - I... It's a lot. Ma.

Can I get some privacy?

Not when you're jiggling giblets with a random guy

- in my house. - I'm sorry.

I'm... Good morning.

- This is my mom. - Hello.

You must... Mrs... Ms. Dahl.

- How... I'm Graham... - Oh, you guys have fun,

- I'm gonna get coffee. - ...Feany. All right.

- Hi, Rhonda. - So, you're a lawyer.

Yes, ma'am, I'm a lawyer.

- Oh. Hey, good morning. - Hi.

Uh, you must be Peg's grandma.

What did you say?

Who's this jagoff razzin' me?

Oh, Peg got herself a lawyer.

Oh, nice catch. Not officially caught.

- Anyway, um, gotta go. - So, can I, um...

- What? - Can... Can I see you again?

- Really? - Yeah, I just... I'll pay.

- Oh, you wanna wine and dine me? - I'll pay.

- I'll pay. - Okay. Just prove to me

that you're legitimate and we'll talk.

Bye.

You'll pay for what?

- Can you just wait? - You'll pay for dinner.

No, no, no.

- No. - Now he's gone.

- A man should pay for dinner. - Ma.

- The man is the provider. - No, he's...

- Now, you gotta go... - I'm being the provider.

You gotta get a provider.

All right, enough,

- you guys. Okay? - Mm-hmm.

Here's is the thing, I'm doing something big.

- What? - I'm doing something big

and it would be beneficial to have him on my side.

So, if you can just shut your mouth.

Okay.

- You're early. - I got a ride.

- What are we doing today? Upper lip? - Yeah sure.

- Chin. - Aw, okay.

God, hey, what are you doing?

What are you banging around in your dad's stuff for?

If you wanna be the boss, you gotta dress the part.

Would it kill you to wear a skirt

once in a while. Come on, Peg.

You just landed a nice guy.

Don't you think it's time you settle down.

Ma, in my two decades on this earth,

have I ever seemed like the settling type?

Haven't you ever dreamed of something more?

I had a dream.

That John Travolta took off his wig

and, on his scalp, was another John Travolta face.

Double Travolta.

I could never get that image out of my mind.

You know what I'm saying.

That's all I got.

What's it for?

Ambrosia salad...

With the perfect amount of marshmallows.

- It's a delicate balance. - Well, I'm sure it is.

- What are you doing here? - Mm.

- I'm just eating. - Oh.

Well, why don't you do your eating anywhere else?

You only charge Wizz a hundred bips.

I'm offering you 200 for the same paper.

Oh, so you're here to talk business?

I am here to talk business.

If you don't mind, honey.

I love you. This looks delicious.

So, you're thinking of branching out on your own.

Don't.

Three hundred.

My brother doesn't like competition,

especially from a woman.

If you go out on your own, you're gonna start a war

- A war you can't win. - Cash.

Okay.

- So, if I were to do this... - If you were to do this.

- If. - If.

- Big if. - All right.

That's a lot of paper for a little lady.

That's a lot of face for one tiny pube-stache.

I'm offering you a 200% profit increase.

And I'll never call your wife a twat.

- Tammy is an angel. - She is an angel.

Okay, but if anyone asks...

you're buying off the Korczykowskis

of Cheektowaga.

Where are you getting your collectors, huh?

- Yes. Yes. Yes. - Just like that...

- Yeah. - ...I was in business.

- Yeah, yes. - And this time...

- Yeah, yeah! - I was gonna do it my way.

Ah, oh, oh. Your time is up.

If you wanna keep talking with Starla,

I'll need a verbal yes. What the hell!

Let's use your talent to make some real money.

Oh, hey!

I didn't want your average collectors.

Hello, women!

I wanted outliers,

black swans, people with natural talent.

Yeah, but I have snacks.

Ladies, ladies, don't listen to him.

We using organic herbs and spice to make

our family recipes taste like home.

I looked for smooth-talking salesman.

Didn't you go to high school with my brother?

Oh, snap.

Yo, you're JJ Dahl's little sister.

- Mm. - I mean, shit.

I mean, shit. Come with me, now.

People who hustled in ways you didn't think.

Frances!

Who subverted expectations.

- Hey! - ...rent the wrong one.

- Hey. - You know...

...people like me.

You don't want to rent there.

Too stink, shitty landlord.

Well, why do you rent there?

I conned the dingus into giving me a 50-year lease.

- I pay shit. - You do good business?

Most of our walk-ins are Buffalonian assholes

looking for a rub and tug.

I did not come to the promised land

to fondle soft wieners.

I came to get rich.

Maybe it's time for a pivot.

Huh?

- Yeah, this will work. - What?

Didn't matter what they'd done

or where they'd been.

If they had the skills,

I'd take a chance on just about anyone.

You here to settle a score? 'Cause I will hurt you.

I'm here to offer you a job.

Look, you ran a multi-dimensional delivery service.

A one women Amazon, all in your head.

I am the only one that knows how smart you are.

And you are very smart.

You know, even though I didn't like you,

I always knew I liked you.

So, what's the job?

We are called Personal Expenditure Garnering.

And our mission, is to get rich by resolving debts

via the phone, that phone is your new fuck buddy.

Another fuck buddy.

I mean, I... I already have so many.

Don't touch me.

I don't where that hand has been.

You said there'd be pizza and pop.

Guys, focus, please. Sit.

Now.

Thank you.

This is paper.

We know.

The more accounts you close, the more paper you get.

- So, we're debt collectors. - No.

We're salesman.

And we're pitching the dream of financial freedom.

Debt is jail.

Break these people out.

All right, break 'em out.

No threats. No intimidation.

Just... guide them to the promised land.

Personal Expenditure Garnering.

Hiya, Peggy.

How did you get this number?

I told ya, this business is war.

And you just fired the first shot.

See you around, Peg. Unless I see you first.

That doesn't make sense.

Bye, bye, baby.

What was that about?

Just a friendly call from our competition.

I'm confused.

Will there or will there not be pizza and pop?

Everyone ready to get started?

Mm-hmm, no...

I taught these green horns my keys to collecting...

Don't bullshit me. I speak five languages.

...and they caught on quick.

You are gonna call me back...

I gave them good commission rates,

decent paper. and a working phone line.

...with your credit card.

Guess what?

It fucking worked.

Fifty-three thousand dollars.

You spent three grand at chickswiththreetits.com

You've been a bad boy with money.

Look, my mom has a saying.

It's about...

recognizing a gift and only paying 80% today, still,

now that... is a gift.

They were making money

faster than they could ever have imagined.

But I knew we could do better.

If we were gonna hit my targets...

We need more people.

Jesus is here to set you free.

- We're not interested, sir. - Don't shut Jesus out of your life.

- Come on. - He will set you free

for only $595. He will wash away

- the soil of sin. - What?

- He will wash away the soil... - No before that.

For only $595.

How does Jesus feel about debt?

Bad. Bad, double bad.

We had talent. God-given talent.

"The wicked borroweth and repayeth not".

You already sullied yourself

in the eyes of the credit agencies.

Don't sully yourself in the eyes of the Lord.

Hallelujah, we were finally raking it in.

The only obstacle in our way...

- What the hell? Ugh. - ...was Wizz.

Hell no, it ain't no damn fuse.

Hey, sir.

Crazy motherfucker. Thank you.

Oh, fuck you.

But, no matter how annoying or how exhausting,

we weren't gonna retaliate.

We weren't gonna sink to his level.

We just had to be smarter than him

and his whole frickin' clan...

Get on the ground or I'll fucking mace you!

Yeah, yeah.

...which wasn't hard.

Peggy doll!

More like dead doll!

No, I got that. I got this.

Get the fuck outta here.

Fuck you!

We're fine. We're good.

Feany.

Hi, how are you? Do you have a minute... time...

Can I have a minute of your time?

You sound shaken up. Is something wrong?

No. No, no, no.

I just wanted to take you up on that dinner offer.

- You still collecting? - No.

I mean, not not no. But, yes, I mean, not yes.

Yes, I am collecting.

I meant... I meant to say...

I meant to say...

Damn it.

Ow!

- Should we call the cops or something? - No.

- But Peg... - But nothing.

We're good. We are. Okay...

you're scared of this?

- Uh-huh. - Yes.

Don't be, don't be scared.

This... I mean, I don't see this... all this...

as a threat. No, this is... this is, uh...

a fucking flag.

Here, this is a fucking flag.

This isn't the threat.

We're the threat.

These slimy fucks are shaking in their boots

because they know we're the fucking best.

And we're gonna put them out of business and you know why?

Because you listened to me.

You believed in me, so this is good.

No, this is great. No, this is magic.

I can feel the future coursing through my veins.

My heart pumping with the spirit

that you guys have fed me. So, no,

we will not cow tow to a gaggle of scum.

We will relish in our moment of triumph and get back

on the motherfucking phones!

That was righteous. Righteous.

Yeah, huh.

Yeah.

- So, um, Peg... - Hmm. Yeah.

I ran the numbers, and after the start-up cost

and the commissions for all of these guys,

you won't have enough money to buy more paper.

So, what are you gonna do?

Figure it out.

All right, figure it out.

Okay.

I'm buying all the paper you have.

Buying all the paper you have, please.

Uh...

so, I took a risk... hiring all you guys...

...and you all came through.

- High five for Jesus. - All of you.

Ever very last one of you.

Now, I'm gonna ask you... to take a risk... on me.

- Here's your payment. - Thirty million in paper.

- How do I pay rent with that? - I re-invested our profits.

Listen to me, once we collect this, we can stop trying

not to be poor and start trying to get rich. Okay?

I know, I know, I know. I know. I know, it sucks.

You have to trust me, and I set up a little something

to ease the pain.

Here we are!

We got an open bar, all you can eat beefs,

enjoy!

Don't eat the sushi! I do not trust stadium sushi!

I'm serious, put that down. Right now, thank you.

And another Buffalo first down!

- This is nice... - Mm-hmm.

- ...but we gotta get them paid. - I know.

I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

Outside, number 78...

Are you blind, ref?

The whole thing is rigged. Shit!

Oh, fuck, I said shit.

This is amazing, Peg!

We'll be coming here every week

if we keep collecting like we have.

I'm hitting the bathroom.

Oh!

Good game.

Hello?

What the fuck?

Hello?

And another Buffalo first down!

Fucking insane!

Honey, don't you wanna go, get cleaned up?

Mm-mm. No. No.

I paid for this box.

Fuck, if they take it away from us.

Bitches collect menstrual blood.

Does this idiot really think we collect blood?

If anything, we expel blood.

Well, I hate to state the obvious

but, if they know where you are, then they know where you aren't.

- Shit! - Fuck.

Oh, my God.

- That was all our profits. - All that work for nothing.

You screwed us, Peg. I quit.

No, I'll get it back.

- How? - I'll get it back.

"Eye for an eye, tooth for tooth".

- Matthew 5:38 - No. No, no, hell no.

Violence will only land us in jail.

- We need to be smarter. - This a bad time?

- Shit. - What?

What the hell happened? Ow! God damn it!

Holy shit, Peg.

- Fucking... - What the f...

Hiya, Peg. Oh.

- You having your monthly? - Get out of my brother's bar.

Well, as it turns out, uh,

not only do I have your debt but I got your mom's.

What are you talking about?

Good-natured bro put his bar up as collateral against her refi.

- So, now it's mine. - What?

- Perfectly legal. - JJ...

- Can he do that? - Yes, he can do that.

Why would you do that?

- Why would you... - Why can he do that?

Why can he do that?

And good luck buying paper too.

Mitch won't sell you no more. Nobody will.

Not even the Cheektowagan Korczykowskis.

Ah, you're blacklisted.

Hey, Chief. How about you pour us some Crown, huh?

- JJ is going nowhere. - Oh, okay, well, uh...

I don't know, should I just torch the place...

- Yeah! - ...for the insurance money?

You tell me.

What am I supposed to do, Peg?

Crown all around!

Bye, bye, baby!

Okay.

How come you're letting me do your hair?

You never let me do that. Where are you going tonight?

Having a drink with someone.

- Ooh! With the lawyer? - No. Ma. No.

- Don't you pay, Peg! - Please, Ma! Not this.

- Please, stop calling here. - Please, just don't do...

Thank you.

My God. Now that you're one of them,

can't you tell those asses to stop bugging me?

I'm trying.

- Looks pretty. - Thank you.

You know, I love you more than the sun and the moon

and the stars above.

And the only reason I pester you, Peg,

is 'cause I know, how much potential you have.

I'm living to my potential, Ma.

- I hope so, honey. - Thanks for the hair.

Henrietta, can you get me

Judge Lippes on the phone, please?

Henrietta?

Sometimes, he falls asleep at his desk.

And, you can hear him sawing logs

all the way down the hallway.

And, I says to him,

I says, "Do not sleep in your office, you jagoff!"

But he doesn't listen. Never.

Hi.

Why didn't you tell me about this little angel?

She brought me the Crown gift set,

with the fancy glasses.

- It was nothing. Oh. - Oh.

- Oh, well, she shouldn't have. - No, it's fine.

May I talk you, sweet angel, for a quick second.

Sure.

Hey!

What are you... What are you doing here?

I thought we could talk.

Okay, right this way.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Bye. - Bye.

So, uh...

you here to tell me that you quit?

No.

Are you gonna testify against Wisenewski?

No.

I came for dinner.

I just wanna go to dinner with you.

What makes you think that I'm gonna go to dinner with you?

My books.

Proof, that we're legit.

So, how do I know these aren't forged?

You think I would forge books just so I could buy you dinner?

- Yeah. - No.

Why do you keep pulling out your leg?

Because I'm wearing panty hose and they are very uncomfortable.

And I'm just gonna take them off

because I wanna look, nice.

I really wanted to look nice, but they are driving me...

out of my mind. So, I'll just take it off quickly.

Thank you. God.

- They're very, very itchy. - You're trouble.

That's why you like me.

You know, it was kind of cute

hearing Henrietta talk about your snoring.

Mm.

She said that you spend a lot of your nights

in the office.

That's great. That's just perfect.

Is that why you wear "second sides"?

You could get, uh,

a laundry machine. You could put it right there.

Put one there too. You could put it...

That's a great idea.

- I think so. - Shut up, Henrietta.

- You just gonna redecorate. - Right there.

Why don't you send her home for the night?

Why?

Well, I don't think you want her hearing us.

Hearing us doing...

- Have sex? - Mm-hmm.

- In my office? - Mm-hmm.

- I'm... - What? Is it against the law?

I don't think so.

I can look it up.

No, don't, shut up. Go get her out of here.

- Right now. - Right.

Excuse me. All right.

All right, um...

Hey...

I genuinely wanna be with him but I also wanna destroy Wizz.

So, can I girl kill two birds with one stone? Yes, she can.

Dispatch.

This is Henrietta Chivette, secretary for ADA Graham Feany.

Requesting units at 853 Walnut Avenue.

Possible armed situation. Thank you.

- It's me. - Hi.

Joshua Wisenewski.

Exit the building with your hands up.

All right, down! Get down!

It was on.

If it had to be war... I was gonna win it.

I don't... I don't know what paper is ours

and what's theirs.

Peg just said to take it all.

- Come one, everyone. - I though we couldn't collect stolen paper.

This is our paper. Our profits.

What do I say if it's already been collected?

You think you already paid this? Don't lie to me.

"He who breathes out lies shall perish." Proverbs 19:9.

- Guys! - Graham Feany on two.

Take a message. Watch yourselves while you're out there.

Yeah, we stole some of Wizz's paper

along with our own.

But, that doesn't make us like those douchebags.

We weren't harassing moms

or stealing from the Barb Cooneys of the world.

We were doing it right.

Sure, it came with the added stress of more harassment.

But, I could handle that.

Welcome to the club, Peg. I didn't think you had it in ya.

Had what in me?

Come on, you remember the first thing I taught ya.

This business is war.

I got your paper.

Go ahead and keep the paper.

- What? - I got other plans

- for you now. - Okay, listen to me, you jagoff.

- I'm gonna fucking bury you. - Bye, bye, baby.

You're not listening to me.

I can't get frustrated. - Hey.

Isn't this that guy you screwed?

You know, that lawyer guy?

- You're stressed. - Mm.

You can't collect when you're stressed.

What do you know about it?

Oh, Johns aren't asking stressed-out hookers

for dates.

You know, sometimes, I used to go and buy myself

something fancy, so I could be better at my job.

- How long did you work? - Twenty odd years.

I lost all my friends and family but the money was good.

Well, now you can have both money... and friends.

Mmm.

I wish I knew you when I was younger.

God.

Hey, if you wanna feel better, I got something for you.

Fine, just...

Okay, hold on. Hold on.

No, I don't... I don't do that.

I... don't need that.

I don't need that.

I don't like guns.

Nice, huh?

I've never been any place this fancy before.

Right.

Dad used to talk about taking us here one day.

- Remember? - Yeah.

Pretty soon, we'll be coming here as much as we want.

Gosh!

She said "yes".

- Hey. - Congratulations.

All right.

I just wanted to take you here as a way to say I'm sorry.

As an apology,

to say I'm sorry. Like I just said, I'm sorry.

For everything that's happened.

Well, fancy dinner is not gonna...

fix my problems, Peg.

But they do have the best

chicken parm this side of Lackawanna.

- Well, I do like chicky parm. - Oh.

- So... - Hey, do you remember,

when I said I needed to fill up ten Peggy Banks to get out?

- Yeah. - JJ, I'm almost there.

No more "what ifs."

You were my first investor. I will never forget that.

And with your returns, you will be able

to open up a dozen bars.

Cool, right?

I don't want that, Peg.

I just want my bar.

It made me happy, you know.

- Are you happy? - I will be.

- That's what matters. - Okay.

Is there a wait... Waiter? Waiter?

Okay, I feel like they're just...

they keep walking by, you know...

I feel like there'd be better service at a place

this fancy. But whatever.

Yeah, I'm hungry thinking about that chicky parm.

So, has Wizz said anything?

Uh, no.

Oh, yes!

I did hear him say something about doing something Machiavellian.

He pronounced it like, "Match-iaveellian"

like he just learned the word.

It was funny.

Nothing more specific, though? Like...

anything else, like, come on. Come on.

He must've said something.

- You heard something. - I see.

What?

You want info?

That's why you brought me here.

No, I brought you here for dinner.

- No. - Yes, I did.

I know you, Peg.

There's always an angle, right.

You know, I bought into your bullshit...

for so many years, I just...

can't do it tonight. Okay? I can't. So...

So, you're gonna grow a spine now?

Now that I'm trying to do something nice for you?

- You're using me. - I'm not using you.

You're using me like you use everybody else.

- I just... - You know, sometimes people

just do nice things for each other

without expecting a return.

Feany is calling again and he sounds pissed.

Not now. Not now.

Not... now.

- Now, not now. Not now. - Hey.

- Yes. - I was talking to this old John of mine.

- Mm-hmm. What? - Who's a lawyer and...

Why are you talking to a lawyer?

Well, what he said was, that what we're doing

could get us in some hot water.

- Hmm. - Oh, yeah, Stan Stevens right here.

- Peg. - Yeah.

I don't wanna go back to prison over some small potatoes.

You trust a lawyer that pays for sex?

No.

- No. - No.

Yeah. We're good. We're fine. I promise.

No, thank you, Mrs. Cooney, yeah.

No, you won't be receiving anymore phone calls from me.

- Huh? Yeah. - Everything all right?

Yeah, Lord bless you and... and protect you.

- Peg? - Thank you. Bye-bye.

- Is something wrong? - No, we're fine. Thank you.

- Thank you. - Wham dunk on Cooney.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Fuck. Ow! God...

damn it.

Why does the house smell like stale fish?

I made a tuna casserole for supper.

Gross.

I'm just... being paranoid.

Oh, okay.

Sixty...

You've reached ADA Graham Feany,

please leave a message.

Hi, it's me, I don't know who else to call, so...

anyway, there's a guy outside my house, um...

- Hey. - Ma, I'm on the phone.

So, if you could just call me back.

- That'd be great. Thank you. - Pegger, why is your boyfriend creeping outside?

What?

Why is your boyfriend creeping outside?

Why are you staking out my house, huh?

- Because... - Because, why?

- ...you ghosted me. - Hmm?

- Because, you ghosted me. - You're a child.

- I'm not a... - You are.

- You're acting like a child. - I'm not.

You... you swatted Wizz through my office.

You thought I wouldn't find out?

More importantly, are you trying to go back to prison?

Stop, stop.

- Stop. - Hey, what's the hubbub?

Nothing, Ma!

Well, stop jabberin' and invite the man in for some casserole.

No!

So, how did you two meet?

Hmm?

Graham prosecuted my case.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

- What? - You did?

- Yeah. - Yeah. I did.

- Oh, I'm so stupid. - You are.

- Oh, no, no. - You are

- so stupid. - No, I'm so sorry.

- Of course you did. - It's okay.

I remember now, you were, uh, sucking up to the judge.

- I was not sucking up... - Yes, you were.

- ...to the judge. - You were a little.

- No, I wasn't. - But that makes you smart.

But to be fair,

Peg was already released when we, um, uh...

Squished your sweet meats?

- Wow. - Jesus Christ, I'm out.

- I gotta go. Talk to you later. - Peg.

- No, no. No. - Come on, sit down.

- Sit your tush down in that... - You always take it...

way too far.

Sit your tush down in that chair.

I made a casserole. Come on.

- Please don't do that again. - I'm sorry.

I do have a real question for you, though.

Do you approve of what she does for a living?

- Hmm. - I don't need his approval.

- He's the law. I think you do. - But I'm not breaking laws.

You're not doing good either. You hurt people.

That's what you think I do?

I collect from people who knowingly spent money

that they don't have.

I just don't want anyone to get hurt,

- especially you. - I'm not hurting anyone,

and that's what...

you don't understand. And you don't understand.

Lawyer-man, weigh in.

I am not at liberty to discuss ongoing investigations.

- What do you mean? - Oh.

Well, that doesn't sound so good.

I will say this though...

my grandfather had a large medical bill

that was sent to collections.

And the agency took his house on a default judgement.

They didn't even tell him the date of the trial.

So, he had no way of fighting back.

Judgement came down... bam... he's living on the street.

By the time we could gather everything to countersue,

he died!

All for what? Pennies on the dollar.

You see, Peg? That's what you're doing to people,

- you've got to stop! - Mom.

No, you need to close shop,

- settle down... - Settle down, would you ever

say that to JJ? I've never heard you once

- say that to JJ. - Well, I don't have to say...

- Because I'm a... - Oh, my God! Baby!

- What happened to you? - Who did that? JJ.

Sit down. What happened to you?

- I grew a spine, like you said. - Honey!

Tried to take my bar back.

- What you said? - Wizz punched me in the face.

- What did you say to him? - I didn't say anything. Oh, my God.

- Are you gonna make this about me? This is his... - What did you tell him?

- I didn't tell him anything! - You think he would stand up

for himself without you

- telling him to? - What's with all these freaking flies?

There are so many fucking flies in here

and it's that freaking thing!

What?

I'm done with this shit.

Don't you touch my buffalo,

- Peg. - I can't stand it anymore!

Stop!

- You put that back, Peg! - It's disgusting.

- Either it goes, or I do. - You know what? Then you do,

because that buffalo doesn't cause trouble

- and you do. - So, just let me

get this straight for one second, you're choosing

a dead buffalo over your own daughter.

Don't answer that.

Look at your brother's face. You did that.

No... Okay, I did that?

- Mm-hmm. - I did that?

- You're sure? - Yeah.

Okay. Do you want me gone, Ma?

I do. Yeah.

- Then, I'm gone. - Good.

- Graham, let's go. - No! No!

- What? - Uh-huh. Excuse me.

You know, how many complaints I get from the Cooney Family?

- Wait. - Did you, or did you not

- collect phantom debt from her? - Okay...

- Did you? - Okay, before you overreact,

remember that I've gone out of my way to prove

that I'm legit and I am legit. I collect on

hundreds of accounts a day, all right?

Yeah, but it's illegal activity.

You know how many fucking people I put away for this shit?

- Just answer the question! - All right, here we go.

Four thousand, nine hundred and thirty-five dollars

of charge-off parking tickets, Graham Feany!

Is this supposed to make me trust you now?

No, it's supposed to show that you're a hypocrite.

- A hypocrite. - You think the rules only apply

to people beneath you? They don't!

You come here, acting like you a give a shit about me

and you send fucking units to my house.

What units?

Oh, my God!

I didn't call.

Shit!

- What's happening? - That's Wizz.

Getting revenge and I got this.

- Don't worry. I'll figure this out. - Hey. What is happening?

- What is going on? - Hi.

- I got this. - What's happening? What's...

Step aside, Mary Katherine Dahl, JJ Dahl,

- you are under arrest. - No, no, no, that's a mistake.

You have the right to remain silent.

No, I got this.

Anything you do or say, can be used against you

- in the court of law. - Officer, I'm ADA Graham Feany.

- What is the situation? - I got this.

We have a warrant to search these premises.

- Signed by who? - What's it to you, big shot?

- Check it out. - Huh! Where there's smoke,

there's fire. Come on, ma'am. Let's go.

- Oh, my God! - Hey, let go of my mom.

- Let go of my mom! - My baby!

- Come on, ma'am. - Get your hands off my baby.

Listen to me, I'll get this figured out.

I know, I'll get a lawyer, we'll get this all sorted out.

- I didn't do anything. - God.

Mom, don't talk. I will sort this out.

I will get us a lawyer. We will figure it out.

It will be all right. Okay?

Yeah, we have a situation.

Hiya, Peggy! I told you I was the king.

- Bye-bye, baby. - Fuck!

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Baby I gotta go ♪

♪ You're too much now, can't take no more ♪

I'm gonna kill you, you fucking jagoff!

What the fuck?

That's it.

- Now! Right fucking now! - Yeah, you're right...

- Yeah. - ...it does end.

'Cause you're through. I took everything.

Oh, don't pretend like you're gonna shoot me.

We both know you care way too much about money

- to go back to jail. - Yeah, you're right.

You're right, I don't know what I was thinking.

I'm not gonna shoot you.-

But I will kick your fucking ass, okay?

That hurt?

That hurt? You piece of fucking shit!

No!

My fucking nose.

Ow! Fuck!

No! What the fuck?

- Take her in! - What the fuck?

Why are you arresting me? Arrest him!

- He's the one screwing people. - I know.

But he didn't fire a weapon.

You have the right to remain silent.

For once.

Say hi to your mom and brother for me.

Sayonara, bitch.

♪ You're smiling now but ♪

♪ I hold you in my arms ♪

♪ Won't let nothing harm you ♪

♪ Till morning comes ♪

♪ You toss and you turn ♪

♪ Dreams give you no peace ♪

♪ Baby what's going on ♪

Hi.

Don't worry.

I got this.

I got this, I'm gonna fix this.

- I am... - They got me running

an off-the-books business in a house full of cash, okay?

- I know, but I... - I am effed

- and we both know it. - No, no, no, because,

I can afford...

- a great lawyer. - You don't have any money.

They took all your money.

And even if you did, I wouldn't want that money

helping me.

Right.

I messed up, but what do you want me to say?

Do you want me to say I'm sorry?

Do you want me to say I'm sorry?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I had a dream.

I'm so fucking sorry I had a dream.

Do you ever listen to yourself?

Honey, do you honestly think...

that I didn't have a dream?

Dreams don't make a lot of sense when you got two kids crying

'cause they're hungry...

and their dad just gambled away their supper money.

We almost lost our house.

I will be in debt for the rest of my life.

He played grab ass with my clients so much

that they didn't even show up for their appointments

after a while.

I know, you think that your dad was some kind of

Prince Charming, but...

you are old enough to know that he was an asshole.

Maybe I wasn't a good mom.

Maybe, these cigarettes messed with your noggin', but...

I do know, I do know I taught you the difference

between right and wrong.

I know I told you the difference between good and bad

and I know I told you to think of others.

Proceed, Mr. Feany.

The defendant is charged with one count of discharging

a firearm and one count of possession of a weapon,

as a felon.

Ms. Dahl, before we continue, I'd like to ask a question...

- Anchor Bar or Duffs? - No, no, I got this.

Anchor Bar.

See, that's what I always said.

But, you know what I just learned?

I like Anchor's wings...

but I love Duffs' blue cheese sauce.

So, now, I bring Anchor's wings and my bailiff...

brings Duff sauce. Crazy, huh?

So, yous two gonna strike a deal or what?

Peg!

So?

Thinking about it.

- Okay. - Okay.

Ugh!

Ew, don't touch it!

You might get a flesh-eating bacteria!

All right, you wanna explain to me what's going on?

We need to get the other agencies together tonight.

It's time... that we fight back.

Wait, get the other agencies together?

How am I supposed to do that? Those people hate each other.

Well... ...I know three things,

that'll definitely motivate these people;

food, football and finances.

So, we need to tell the other agencies

that if they wanna make real money,

a lot of money, more money that we've ever made,

if they wanna be the richest fucks Buffalo's ever seen,

they need to meet me at JJ's.

You know, Bob, if the Bill's wanna make...

Thank you all for being here.

I'm very excited to talk to you all.

If they don't make this spread,

I'm going berserk. I shit you not.

- Hey. - Hey!

I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just wanted

to talk to you. I have to talk to you...

All right, come on, make it snappy,

- what do you wanna talk about? - Money.

I wanna talk to you about money. Who wants to talk...

about money?

- I like money. - I wanna talk about money.

Thank you all for being here.

Anthony Rogazi, Niagra, Chris Stevens, Fruit Belt.

George.

I have no idea how to pronounce your last name.

There are so many consonants. What is it?

- Wojcieczykski... - Wohjciec...

- How is that so hard? - What are we all doing here?

- Uh... - Someone said there'd be

- pizza and pop. - Yeah, pizza and pop is coming.

Is it Pizza Oven? I only eat Pizza Oven pizza.

If it ain't Nova's, I'm walking.

Clam it!

Sorry.

Uh, what I meant to say is that the pizza will be pizza.

What's up with the buffalo head?

- It's disgusting. - This buffalo...

is us.

At one point we were all... unstoppable beasts.

Then we lost direction with this bullshit feuding.

Think about it, a lone buffalo is vulnerable.

A buffalo herd...

is unstoppable.

What I'm trying to say is that if we want to become

beasts again, we have to work as one herd.

We have to unite.

- Unite with you? - Yeah.

If we combine our resources,

we can fight back against assholes

like, Graham Feany.

And when we unite, we won't have to worry about, what ifs?

What if...

one of my employees is wearing a wire?

What if my phone's get tapped?

What if I don't have the heart for it anymore?

You are all inspiring,

you're all creative sons of bitches,

truly makes me emotional.

I heard a rumor. Did one of you guys, uh,

tell a debtor that there was, uh,

a sniper outside her window ready to shoot

if she didn't pay?

Yeah, that was me. That was me.

You, you genius.

That is so good.

One time, I slashed this chick's tires

so she had to buy new ones and owe more money.

That's a great recurring business model.

- Thank you. - Wizz.

- Yeah. - This guy right here...

is the one who taught me about re-do's.

What's the total collected off old lady Cooney?

- Like, 200 grand. - Whoo! Big money.

You see...

How much of a relief would it be to not have to...

hide in the shadows anymore?

If we unite, we can be strong.

We can stampede over anybody that gets in our way.

All right, okay, but, let me guess,

- you wanna run the whole thing? - No,

of course not, why would I try

to take the throne when there is an existing king?

Wizz runs it.

I like the sound of that.

- What? - Obviously.

Now...

who's in?

All right, I'm in.

- You're in, - Chris: Yeah.

Chris Stevens is in. Who else? Who else?

Anthony Rogazi. Yeah?

- Yeah, we're in. - Rogazi's in!

- George, you in? - Yeah.

- My buddy, George... - Information trust relief...

Information trust relief, same con she used on me...

No... it's not a con. What do... Sal! Sal!

I'm selling you, did you learn nothing for me, Sal?

I mean, come on.

Just listen to the numbers this year.

Americans held one trillion dollars in debt,

Thirty billion in charge-offs. Where are you going?

Thirty billion in charge-offs. I...

Uh, don't know what...

- Okay, that wasn't... - Bullshit.

No, that wasn't supposed to happen.

- The fuck? - The fuck?

- What the fuck is that? - It's a camera...

What the fuck is that?

I don't know what to do because, I was waiting for... for Feany

to come in and we were gonna do the quote about Machiavelli...

What the fuck are you talking about?

What I'm talking about... Okay,

I guess you still don't understand.

While you were enthralled by my speech,

your offices were raided and stripped of every

piece of paper, your shit was impounded

as evidence held until trial.

And your supply, well...

it was cut off.

- Hey John! - What did I do?

I'll put the salad in the fridge.

Oh, and you all confessed on tape.

And by uniting, we classify as a RICO charge, so,

bye, bye, baby.

- What do you get out of this? - I get nothing.

- I'm gonna fucking kill you. - Good,

I can add attempted murder to your charges.

- What the fuck? - Get the fuck off me.

You have the right to remain silent.

What the fuck is this shit?

Hey, hey! He's taking one all the way!

Turn it up!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God

- Thank you for that. - Hmm.

I... I still have to book you.

Yeah about that, there's just, um,

there's just one thing I have to do, okay?

Sorry.

Okay, sorry. Shit, I didn't think that would work.

- Ow. God. - Did that shit work?

- Yeah. - What the hell just happened?

Well, I fucked 100 douchebags at once.

- Yes! - That's impressive.

- I've only done ten. - Okay.

That's why I didn't want you guys in there,

I didn't want you guys implicated, I'm sorry,

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - Oh.

- You're my friend. I love you. Thank you. - I am too.

Thank you, thank you thank you.

- Hey, take care of my boyfriend, okay? - That's your boyfriend?

I mean, I guess, I don't know.

- Yeah, that's your BF. - Oh.

- Sweetie! - Henrietta!

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here so late?

Oh, I'm working. Where's Graham?

- On his way up. - Oh.

Weren't you supposed to get those chicky parms?

- I was? - Mm-hmm.

Oh. Uh, why?

To surprise, we're gonna have a big surprise.

Oh, all righty. Sounds good.

- A surprise! We're gonna party. - Okay.

All right. I'll see you in a bit.

- Bye. - Bye, hon.

Just to be clear,

those boxes held one billion dollars in debt.

How could I just let 'em sit there?

In total, I burned up 52,437 debt sheets.

Fifty-two thousand, four hundred and thirty-seven people,

whose phones stopped ringing.

Today, Josh Wiseneweski and 42 other debt collectors

were found guilty.

Prosecutors credit their case to the testimony of Peg Dahl.

A woman famed for erasing millions of dollars

of delinquent debt.

My deal cleared me of all debt related charges

but they couldn't ignore the destruction of evidence.

Luckily, half my jury

had their debt erased in the fire,

so I got a lighter sentence.

And what better way to spend my time with you lovely ladies,

than to teach you about... finance.

Remember, like Susie Orman said,

- "Woman fake orgasms..." - "And men fake finances."

Okay, so that means...

So, I got a do-over...

Like your margins are...

...one more time to clean the slate...

...but, you know, change is hard, people.

The only thing I knew was the hustle.

That's all I was ever good at.

If I came to the same fork in the road,

would I choose the same path?

Ma.

- Pegger! - What are you doing here?

- Are you... - Are you kidding?

- Ah! - Oh, my sweet baby.

Oh, I wouldn't have missed this for the world.

- Well... - What?

Sorry.

Come on, baby, let's get you home.

It's true you were a jagoff for a little bit there.

Pegger, Pegger, Pegger, Pegger, Pegger!

I'm going to give a speech.

Am I supposed to give a speech?

- Yeah! - Okay.

You don't get any more pizza and pop

unless you give a speech.

- Testify, sister. - Okay, um...

I'm supposed to talk about what I learned in prison.

- Yeah. - Supposed to talk about what I learned in prison.

I learned, I learned, I learned,

don't go, right? You know.

Don't go, just stay away. Just stay away from there.

Oh, I learned...

There are better ways to erase debt

than torching your boyfriend's office.

I had to... I learned that...

You did... Yeah, I'm glad you learned that.

That's a good lesson.

Guess what I really learned is that...

I love you... I do, I love you more than the sun...

and the moon and the stars...

and as long as I have my family...

and my friends by my side...

I will always be fine.

- Bullshit. - Huh?

Fine?

Come on Peg, in what world

are you mediocrity's dumb cousin?

Come here for a sec?

Oh, no, no, 'cause you're gonna smack me.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are, you come over here.

Okay.

- What's that? - Oh, we all, uh...

We all chipped in.

You've taken a chance on all of us and...

so, we're taking a chance on you.

Kinda a second chance.

- Really a third chance. - Technically, a fourth chance...

Mom.

That's all yours, Peg.

Though, now, the question is...

What are you gonna do?

What am I gonna do?

What am I gonna do?

What do you think I'm gonna do?

From nothing, I built a successful company

and the most prolific legal shakedown in America.

Imagine how far I could get with that cash.

I could take that money and crush the game. Legally.

But I won't.

I'm done clawing my way through

the black holes of your bank accounts.

I'm done convincing myself that I was relieving your burdens

when I was killing your dreams. I'm done...

selling nothing to those with less than nothing.

I'm done.

It's time my line of sight shifted to the people

who have everything.

So, I'm moving on...

to the only hustle that's even more

of an unregulated clusterfuck than debt collecting.

Let me tell you about hedge funds.

♪ How you feel about me now ♪

♪ Got my emotions running wild ♪

♪ And now you're asking yourself how ♪

♪ I'm not your baby ain't your child ♪

♪ Don't contradict me when I ask you to decide ♪

♪ Or choose whether to stay ♪

♪ Or go, I ain't here to set nobody free ♪

♪ How you feel about me now ♪

♪ Act so surprised when I speak out ♪

♪ You pacify me feed my doubt ♪

♪ Listen I will not be held down ♪

♪ You patronize me when I say I ought to let you go ♪

♪ Honey I've decided oh ♪

♪ You ain't here to set nobody free ♪

♪ Why the hell did I keep on stalling ♪

♪ While you wore me out, reality is setting in ♪

♪ So how you feel about me now ♪

♪ How you feel about me now ♪

♪ No it won't work but you can pout ♪

♪ Go right ahead just scream and shout ♪

♪ I'll drown you out and mute the sound ♪

♪ You validated when I said I ought to let you go ♪

♪ Honey I've decided oh ♪

♪ You ain't here to set nobody free ♪

♪ Why the hell did I keep on stalling ♪

♪ While you wore me out, reality is setting in ♪

♪ So, how you feel about me now ♪

♪ How you feel about me now ♪

♪ How you feel about me now ♪

♪ How you feel about me now ♪

♪ How you feel ♪

♪ How you feel about me now ♪

♪ How you feel about me now ♪

♪ How you feel about me now ♪

♪ Why the hell did I keep on stalling ♪

♪ While you wore me out, reality is setting in ♪

♪ Now I know that I kept on stalling ♪

♪ While you wore me out, reality has set on in ♪

♪ So, how you feel about me now ♪