Original subtitles

Stuff your loans!

That's all right. I quite understand. Ah ...

Body is a tree. The low half is the trunk, solid and grounded,

while the upper half must be supple like leaves, rustling in the wind.

I've upturned all of my promotion again this morning.

- Bye Fred! - Bye. - See you Friday ... What ... ?

- Nothing. Running a college lacks cash. And I lack drive. - Of course you do, Henry.

Kura-san says it's like a river trancing self-revelation.

- Who the hell is Kura-San ? - My instructor.

That's Norman Hewitt. The manager of Multivision.

- Is this one ? - No, no, no, it's unleavened whole wheat bread. A bit like Porata.

- What's wonderful it's you're seeking oneless with everything around you. - Are you? It's on the level of Transcendental Meditation.

No, TM is quite different.

- Yes, the TM's on Tuesdays, isn't it? - Here you are, dear. - Thanks.

[I] wish you'd loosen up a bit, Henry.

Trouble with you is that you are always reading or talking about books.

You don't know the real world's life.

It's always been your trouble.

You never try to expand yourself, spiritually or physically.

You never want to take a leadership in anything.

You're one [who wants from life to pull and follow with you] and you always will be.

- No wonder you are in a rundown condition. - A-ah ... - You have no appetite for life.

All you have to do is walk the dog!

You don't have even the slightest desire to grow, to lift yourself out of the wont.

Don't I?

I can fulfill my latent promise, only if some fortuitous disaster takes my wife.

Henry, you've been drinking!

I too have discovered the dormant power in my puny body.

These hands can kill.

Henry, you're making fool of yourself.

- Come at me. - If I do I'll snap your spine in half. Now let's go home.

Come at me.

It is a brand new restaurant. Vietnamese cuisine. It's supposed to be wonderful.

- Are you not out of the bath yet, darling? - Yes, darling.

- I tell Sally and Hugh 1:30. - Mm-hm.

Sally and Hugh ...

they're supposed to have both black belts in karate.

- No, no, no, you sat behind Janice Allsop. And she sat behind Ingrid Lambourne. - Quite right,

and Susan Murchinson sat behind me in front of Alison Windle.

No, no, Alison Windle sat two desks in front of me, behind Janice Allsop.

- In front of Ingrid Lambourne. - Right. - Oh!

Janice Allsop - she was incredible!

Oh, she must have been. I mean, 3 desks behind herself and 2 in front of at the same time.

That can't be right, can it?

I know what it was.

I ... think we've about covered school businesses now, haven't we? I loathed every minute of it meself.

What's really depressing in it is that it's all some people's entire lifes consists of.

Man, they go to school and go on to college, get a degree and go back to school again to regurgitate it all for someone else.

[To me it's, kind of, unimaginable. Oh my, now, that means stalemating experience, that must be.]

Yes, must be, mustn't it?

Has anyone tried the Muc Nhoi Thit? It's squid. It's rather delicious.

- More wine? - Ah? No, thank you.

Are you ready driving us home today, darling.

- By the way, what you're driving at the moment, Henry? - Oh, me, eh ...

Is there anybody here owner of Y-registration of the Vauxhall Cavalier?

Oh, Henry, for goodness' sake!

Watch what are you doing! Leave it.

Come on. Dasher, come on.

Now, for me [it's a pleasure] to say, on behalf of me and my wife, how very grateful we are

to [have a real chance to experience] taste of Vietnamese panqui.

Now I understand, I can see now, why the French left Indochina.

We, ah, what [an exoneration]! Hugh, you must come and see the extension to my [state of syllabus] sometime. You'll love it.

What is she doing? Why is she homing in on all these people like a dung-beetle into the sewer?

She goes off to a flower arranging class, she comes back to [gabble on] clitoral stimulation.

Evening!

I just slide gently in my beast!

Carefully, you're pinching.

Where is it now?

Now it's on. Now try keep it pointed roughly at him.

Now we can pick him nice and clear.

Germany calling. Germany calling.

- Communicabus. - Right, Inspector.

Right!

Watch it, sir.

You smell something, Dave?

- No, what is it? - The sweet scent of victory.

The biggest knot college ran this side of Barrison and Edmondson, I've just about a-nailed it to the wall.

What are you waiting [for]?

- Go make yourself scarce. - Right you are, Inspector. Or ...

shall I say: Chief Inspector after tonight?

Come on, Dave. Can you see me sitting behind the desk, can you?

One of these days you'll push me too far, Dasher.

Something's gotta give!

[Well, it got to end in something like murder.]

It's the logical solution.

Something ... grisly would be good ...

Grisly ... but ingenious. Hm ...

[I've always said it:] A successful market economy depends on freedom of the individual, so ... inject whatever substance he or she wants into their veins.

They supply the demand, we merely supply the goods.

Drowning is a good idea.

"Amateur's scuba diver in canal death mystery."

"No oxygen in her aqualung."

- Oh, yes ... - Oh ... - Ah ... ah, Nigel, ah, do it to me.

Well, that does not sound like Inspector Flint. Why, what is going on ?

[Well, that's] been a fascinating chat, Mr. Macari.

You can, eh ... rest assured. You've said all the right things.

All right, lads, switch off now. He's hung, drown and quartered.

- That's what you are. [I am now talking with you as a police ...] - [That's what you will get ...]

Help! Help me! I've been mugged! Help me! Help!

- Got! - Get off, thieving bastard, of me!

All right, hand me over [all these joints].

Christ, oh, what will I do now ?

Hand me over. Come on!

- Hold on down there! Hang on! - Finished!

Oh, run for it now, while the bastard's down!

Thanks, friend.

Right! OK! You come to the police with me, mate!

- I am the fucking police, you boneless erection. - Shit!

One, two ...

While I was out with Dasher, I've got involved into police undercover operation.

I [have nearly bashed] a detective inspector to death.

Sally's invited us to Hugh's birthday on the 12th.

You should see the house they bought. It's got its own granary.

You [don't need] to feel inferior just because Sally's got money.

That's why I could not feel inferior to a merchant banker [just] for the same reason I could not feel inferior to 30 watt light bulb.

They're both dim and they have no discernable function.

She's taking me shopping tomorrow for some designer lingerie.

She said, she absolutely [has to wear it tonight].

Did you see this story about the Swaffham strangler? Three women he's bumped off now and they still haven't caught him.

Hm ... Ah! She said she sees me in pale lemon camiknickers.

- Certainly a thought. - Yeah ...

It certainly is.

John !

John !

I fill it as fast as it's bloody [possible]!

Where did she hid Marmite, Dasher?

- Are you sure? - I tell you, it was a woman down there.

- Morning! - Morning!

Oh, ah, I'm supposed to remind Eva it's Greenpeace meeting.

Ah, ah, no. No, ah, she can't make it.

So, ah? What's wrong with the car, then?

It is the ruin!

And I can't claim because the phone box was not insured.

You don't have to tell me, Henry.

It was murder.

What?

- Traffic last night. Coming home. - Oh, yes, Peter.

Terrible. Absolutely terrible.

Morning, sir. M-m.

- Did you? - Yeah! - Do you still ?

- It's all right. - Good morning, sir. - Good morning.

- Morning, Inspector Flint. - Good morning. - Good to see you back on your feet again after the accident.

God spare us to have a "Go Joe" public, Miss Leuchars.

- That's a memo from a Chief Inspector, asking for report ASAP. - Yeah, right.

Shame, the whole operation ended as an unmitigated disaster.

- Yeah, shame. - Apparently there's some irregularity with the gun requisition. - Yeah, I'll deal with that.

It's a good job Inspector Farmiloe managed to run them up at the end.

- Yeah, yeah, he's a good cop, old Farmiloe. - It's all tied up for some people work.

Some of your [print, old,] right after the concussion.

- We were all so worried you'll end up the vegetable. - Yeah, right, well ...

Flint. What? Right. [I'm on my way there now].

[Car behind your back.]

Panic over. They're here. Yeah. Right.

- Sam! Who was there first? - Ah, me sir. Everything is as it was on the scene at the moment they saw the body.

Right. It's the hole. I'll take it.

Now, how one of you managed to discern part of woman's body prior the concrete down in?

Piss off. Clear the area.

I yelled at him to fucking stop pouring, but he wouldn't fucking listen.

You could see her fucking limbs. Oh, looking twisted.

- It was fucking horrible. - I see. Make a fucking note on it, Dave.

- What's going on? - They've found a woman's body down in a hole.

Sir, this was found at the top of the hole.

What sort of a mind will be capable to write something like this.

Right! ... Now ...

Who can tell me what the thematic subtext, eh, if you like in this, social allegory ... is ... in "Tess of the d'Urbervilles"?

- Cranham? - Eh ...

Is it people being rent to pieces by bloody great dog?

- No ... No, I think it's in "The Hound of the Baskervilles", if [that's what you mean.] - Yeah, right.

- But you have had six weeks to read this novel. And ain't it is asking too much to do ... - I bet she's got no head.

[Some]one made it cool all right. I bet it's been sawn off, I betcha!

Yes, well I hardly think that's germane to our subject.

He could have drilled right through her eyeballs.

Gee, I've seen this video last night. Right, this guy has scooped his [pal at room]. He scooped his girl, he's drilled right through her head. I've never seen nothing like!

I've always said that place is a death trap.

Obviously one of the students working late at the weekend trips over a cable or something.

Plausible theory, principal.

Except the one thing. None of our students have ever worked here at the weekend.

[For that matter, enough to find someone] working during a week.

Of course, this will give to builders another excuse to falling behind schedule.

Not going to look too good for the new sponsors tomorrow, is it?

- Oh, my goodness. Do you think it's too late to stop the Japanese? - It is always too late to stop the Japanese.

Nasty parking.

Good morning.

Sir.

Plan of the moment ... is to dig a second hole ... here ... to come to the woman's body from the side.

I leave pretty fair to say the chance of anyone being there alive then about that time are pretty negligible.

OK, that's a cut.

Thank you, Inspector Flint, sir.

- [You can cut this "fuck" figural out of there]? - Yes. - Yes.

The fucking owner of that "Cavalier" is in the office.

- He's in there. - Yes, all right, Dave. Go away.

- You! ... - Shit!

- Well, I must say, I've always did think he was a bit odd. - Oh, come on!

I mean ... Oh, they can't suspect Henry in that, surely.

Well, he does teach liberal studies to those butchers' apprentices.

If they're looking for a murderer, you can understand their reasoning.

Did you write this, Mr. Wilt?

- Yes. - Don't try to deny it.

- But I was not trying. I ... - It may interest you to know,

that the handwriting on these sheets of paper corresponds exactly with that on some papers, that were found in the backseat of your car.

Well, it would, wouldn't it?

A car that we've found abandoned not 50 yards from that hole ...

- I suppose you can tell me what it was doing there. - Ah, what. It's some kind of foundation shaft, isn't it.

- The car, not a hole. - The car ...

Well, I've had an accident ... And I ... I did not want to drive home.

- And I want you to tell me what is this all about? - Well, perhaps you can tell me what this is all about, Mr Wilt?

This?

Oh, the jottings ... My lecture.

- Samwich course trainee firemen. - Ha, vastly interesting.

1. Increased use of violence for political aims.

2. Ineffectuality of police methods in combatting violence.

[I can't make out] what you ... Would you ...

A. Social illiteracy amongst most police constables.

B. Use of violence by the police themselves.

C ... Look, is this absolutely necessary?

C. Low level of intelligence of the average policeman.

You're inferring we're all thick, aren't you?

No, no, I'm not implying you are all thick, you're inferring that.

Will you stop, Wilt? Did you or did you not at the weekend brutally murdered a defenseless woman and stick her body down that hole?

Certainly not.

You've said exactly what I've expected you to say.

- So, I am being arrested, am I? - Not at all, Mr. Wilt, not at all.

You're just helping the police with their enquiries.

It's a free democratic society. Every man is innocent until proven guilty.

Take him down [to the Station and keep him permanently in sight].

They have arrested Wilt.

Fascist bastards. [Lay off].

[How are you, Wilty?] Keep your hands on your balls and don't say the bastards nothing.

Anything, Cranham. Don't tell the bastards anything.

Ardent bunch, aren't they? Looks more like football hooligans.

Yes, they are all [football hooligans].

- So. - How long do you intend to keep me here? - It depends, doesn't it, Mr Wilt?

- On what? - Whether you know more about this than we already know.

- It's shocking number of husbands these days are going around, murdering their wives. - Yeah.

Hello! This is Henry Wilt. I am sorry, I am not here at the moment. Please leave a message after the tone.

Oh, hello, Eva.

Hi, it's Henry.

How's the archery practice? Did you really?

Well, well, well, it's your best score ever, isn't it?

Me? Well, there is a spot of trouble here. I am, am ...

I'm at the police station. Oh, you have [already heard] about it, haven't you?

Yes ... Yes. What? It's a terrible business, yes.

So, anyway, I ... What? Really? What is this?

My goodness! Did you really? Well, I never. Well, well, well, well ...

Yes, you will tell me all about that when I get home.

Ah! No, no. I can't imagine of keeping me that long.

Ah, don't bank on that, will you, Mr Wilt?

Yes, evidence is shaping out nicely now, Dave. Very nicely indeed.

- Listen, Inspector ... Ouch! - Sorry.

Is this strictly necessary? Manicuring your suspects until they scream for mercy?

You'd be surprised what we can find under the fingernail, Mr Wilt.

Fiber from the victim's clothing, stray pubic hair ...

The key to deductive reasoning lies not in the obvious clues, but in trivial,

the tiny, seemingly miniscule details, which may appear irrelevant.

- But ... to the trained eye ... - Eh, sir ...

It's my blood.

- I had a nosebleed. - Of course. Tell forensic to check it for mucus.

- Listen, Inspector, there really is something. I have to tell you ... - Yes, cool, well ...

Tell us about the nosebleed.

- The nosebleed? - Yeah! - Well ...

Friday morning.

I was having a small difficulty with some of my day release classes.

Done with read this book. It's boring. Nothing happens.

How [do] you know that?

You [naturally didn't] read it, did you?

The last teacher we had, he was called Pinkerton. Now, he made us read a book called "Jude the Obscure".

About this wanker, called Jude. A funny thing about old Pinky was he never showed up next term.

Took hisself down the river, shot the pipe up the exhaust, gassed himself.

- Well, I can't say I blame him. - What do you mean? You're supposed to show us a good example.

Well, I am sure that's what he had in mind when he gassed himself.

I'll bet you didn't get your leg up the last night, did you, Wilty?

Probably didn't it fer yonks.

Look ... This course is designed to cover wide range of topics ...

politics to literature ...

Civil [Arts] ... And how to open a bank account.

What we'll not include in it ... is my private life. Is that all right?

You did not do it, did you?

Why don't you sit down and shut up,

you foul-minded little turd.

Fine.

Well, I must say I rather thought you should have shown a bit more restraint.

- He hit me! - You provoked him!

You've offended their sensibilities.

They don't have sensibilities. They are working in a sausage factory.

They may only be part-time students, but they have the right to an education.

I suppose this party tonight can be a rile fun and intellectual repartie.

- I [haven't made my mind] upon clitorises, so I have something to do talk about. - Why are you giving up such a negative aura?

Sure you are irritable because your colon's clenched?

You know what's the worst in it?

The rest of the class have all walked out ... in sympathy.

Now Treadaway thinks I should [have] bloody well apologized.

Well, he should be right. You've already been timed-out for promotion five times.

It woudn't help that you've lost the confidence in the students.

You can do it tonight. On the way to Sally and Hugh's.

If you think I am crawling cap in hand to that bunch of Neanderthals, you couldn't think [worse]of me.

Hi! ... Hi here! Hey ...

[I've got out without to foresee it ...]

and I thought that's a great opportunity just to clear up that stupid misunderstanding in class today.

All right, lads, this is [be]tween him and me.

They send you down it groveling, didn't they, Wilty?

- Well ... Eh ... - I had to do it. Not you.

- Oh, well, you was really [one to put] a hold on. In front of all the lads. - Yes ... Well ...

You had no choice. I can see that.

You surprise me, Wilty. None of the other teachers would ever be bold to call me a foul-mouthed little shit.

Well, it was actually : "a foul-minded little turd".

- You fancy some pork chops, say? - Yeah, yeah.

So, what you reckon?

Painstaking process, Dave, He is a tricky bastard.

Fancies himself as a verbal contortionist, a logic-chopper.

I'll have it settled by midnight.

- It's for you, Inspector. - Flint.

Eh, no, no, eh, no, Pauline. No, I would ... I will be missing all night, this one.

Well, I am in a pub, obviously, yes.

Taking a break from a tremendously intensive investigation.

Fine. Right. Suit yourself.

Stan, when our wives call we are not here. Even if we are.

Page one, Stan. Title one.

- Women, eh? - Yeah.

Taking you off to some poncy party, rubbing your nose in it for all those yobs.

She can't be an easy woman to live with.

- Drives you mad, gets under your skin, boil up inside you, insulting your manhood ... - Please, Inspector. I can see your line of reasoning,

it really is very very clever, but I have to make a statement. - Yeah, all in a good time, Mr Wilt. Excuse me for a minute?

Faith, this is silly!

Mrs. Bulstrode?

- Mr Wilt ... - No, thanks, I have eaten yesterday.

Right. You want to make a statement, Mr Wilt? Thanks, Dave.

So, it's the form ...

[That one is yours, this one is mine.] [That's say you'll get your own copy of the conversation.]

You no been charged. Is making a voluntary statement, all right?

Why there's nothing happening, Dave?

- You press "Play" and "Record" simultaneously. - Yes, all right.

Say something.

- Say what? - Anything, [I need to calibrate it].

My name is Henry Wilt and I have a confession to make.

Yeah, we'll go then. Well, go on.

I did not kill my wife. I did not kill my wife.

I know you think I did, but [I positively have] a perfectly simple explanation for what happened tonight.

We had a row and ... she left me.

I don't know where she is.

There's nothing unusual about that. She is a bit like that. And that's ... what happened.

- No, no. You should have imagined all this earlier, Mr Wilt. - I did try.

It seems like a perfectly plausible explanation to me.

- Yes, well, you see, we were at that party and you know how it is. - Yes, yes, yes, I quite understand.

Well, well, if we need to talk to you again, we'll be in touch.

Right, but ...

- Am I free to go? - Goodbye, Mr Wilt.

Right.

That's him! That's the man I told Friday night.

He was stabbing a woman to death outside my shop! He was horrible!

That's what we call a positive identification, Mr Wilt.

Let's start again, shall we?

- It's a very complicated story. - Don't worry, they usually are.

We were at that party ...

Well, ... we arrived ...

Sweeping up in graveled drive in a hired limousine ...

You shouldn't have worn something you use.

Old and so boring. Sally and Hugh's friends are much cazh!

Cazh!? Well, that's just when you're "fab" as well, are you?

You call that "to keep in touch", you know that. And "fab" is back. Anyway, I think it suits me.

- Sally helped me choose it. - M-m, it's goody!

Hello ... Sally!

Darling Evie!

- You look fantastic. - Thanks.

Drinks will be here. I think the chili I'd missed if I were you. You'll be farting till September.

- Hugh is outside, minding the barbecue. - Yeah, what's he done, hopped up of the grounds, shot a skein?

Sausages, actually.

Do you remember what they look like?

Hey Hugh!

Every time that woman Sally opens her mouth, it's about sex.

[With you it's only talk about love!] You did tell me this evening should be a disaster, aren't you?

- What is it? You could never make it up with any of my friends? - Why'd bother I?

What possibly can be interesting for these people [what problems has the teacher of literature in local Tech].

And I am not interested either about playing charades in the library.

- Or eating sausages cooked by some ponce in a jockstrap. - In that case why don't you just fuck off!

I'm going to enjoy myself.

I think Canada's simply [boring]. Not for a whole weekend.

Bach does have his moments I suppose, but he has his limitations ...

- Excuse me. - What? Hi!

[Puzzling,] I honestly can't see what's wrong with buggery ... [if he does respect you].

- Oh, I am so sorry. - It's all right.

- Are you out of London, hey?

No, I've bought a house to stay here. It's like this, only with a moat.

- A moat? It's very useful? - Yeah, I will stock it ... with the trout country.

I'll clean a maze to turn the stables into training 4-track.

My wife and I look for [an attic] putting above the garage.

- As a [place for] putting aqualung. - Hi there.

Why there is the queue outside the lavatory?

Oh, it's 'cause there's so much playing around, people forget that someone needs the can to pee.

Sod off!

You were ravaging with Danny a long time. I think he fancies you.

Which [of them] is Danny?

The one with a gorgeous bum and works for Channel 4.

Truely it is, I couldn't find anything that goes with my new dress.

Try this lipstick. It's from that new Japanese place in Covent Garden.

- You think mine's too obvious? - No, but I just think it will go better with your dress.

- So, it looks right on me? - It's perfect for you, Evie.

You just have to know how to wear it. Be a bit more daring.

- Flash it out. - I've not quite got your figure, Sal. - Listen darling. I had these done, you know.

I've found this genius little guy near Godalming.

- Are not they incredible? - Gosh! Yes, you'd never know.

Look, what you've done now. You've made my nipples go hard.

Anyway, let's be like it was back downstairs. You coming?

Yes, in a tick now.

See you down there. OK then.

Henry!

I see you've met Angelique.

One of Hugh's little toys. He says she was a leftover from an office party.

But I have my doubts. Anyway, if you two want to be left alone together, well ...

Don't be so bloody disgusting.

Why didn't you take Angelique home with you? I'm sure there's a book of instructions around here, somewhere.

- She's even got a slot where you can put your little willy. - You're obsessed by sex.

- And you assume everyone else is as well. - I prefer men with small ones.

- They try so much harder. - You're making an awful lot of assumptions about people, don't you?

- Including the size of their willies. - Eva and I talk about everything, honey.

Oh, my arse. I noticed ... [most of the time] you were shoving your nipples in her face.

I wish you leave my wife alone. I don't think you even like Eva.

I think you just like [to have] someone around you, [that you were] at school with.

- So you can measure how far you've come. - I feel sorry for her.

Because being married to someone like you must make her aware of how much she has not come.

Really ...

Screw you.

[Oh, my!]

[Get off, cow!]

- Oh, hi! - Hi!

A-a, you couldn't, couldn't possibly untie me? I don't ... What do you think?

[I just wonder whether I need some key.] Yeah.

Oh, don't, don't go away, don't go away!

I just, I just need a ... a ... a ... nail scissors or a nail file ... a-a-a!

How are you?

- Hi! - You haven't seen Henry about in your travels, Hugh?

Yeah, I think I did see him heading to what's our bedroom.

- Did you have a bust-off or something? - Well, I did, sort of, loose my temper a bit. It's not his fault really.

He does find it very difficult to mix.

Being quiet shy type.

You cow! [Burst, burst!]

Oh, Christ.

Eva !

Sorry.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a couple here who wants to announce their engagement.

What a low [son of a bitch]!

How could he? How could he do such a thing in front of all these people?

- Men are all like that, believe me. - But with a doll.

- It's horrible. - I know, this is horrible.

- Male dominance reduces us to the level of objects. - But Henry's never done anything like that before.

But he's done it now.

Don't worry.

I'll [take care] of you.

I think Evie should stay here tonight.

You have [enacted] this whole fiasco so I don't give a shit what you think. Eva!

- You're either psychotic or severely repressed. - Eva!

- I'm not going to say this one more time! Are you coming home now or not? - No!

Fine ... Fine!

Where's your girlfriend?

Yeah, catch!

- Hasn't your wife get jealous? - No, it was his wife!

- Have a nice time, darling. - Sweet dreams.

[Larry was in the hell ...]

Fan-bloody-tastic!

Well, cow, get out! A-ha-ha-ha!

This is where you get it!

My God! What are you doing?

A bit of a crisis! This is my girlfriend. She is not well.

I had to perform an emergency appendectomy. Otherwise, it could have been fatal.

She'll be all right now. She's foolproof. Bye!

Well, [I'll get your arse out], you latex bitch!

Come on now, you vulcanized whore!

Bloody good riddance.

Bollocks!

Is that you, Mr Wilt?

Peter Jessell. Remember? You used to teach me.

Jessell ...

Yeah. Hi.

Ha, I was just, a ...

I was taking a leak.

Would you believe, I ... I've had a [RA-road accident?] with a car, I didn't want to drive home with just one headlight.

I remember you, Jessel. Yes! You were a very very bright student.

Didn't you ... didn't you get a degree in sociology? That's right, in Cambridge.

- And what are you doing now? - I am doing this (or "miz"-miserably).

- You expect me to believe that? - Well, there we are, it's too many sociologists chasing too few jobs as well.

You really do think we're stupid, are you?

- This [has nothing to do] with my personal opinions. - You snobby little ponce!

It's your wife there down that hole! And you are a murdering bastard who put her there!

I certainly did not!

You're not teaching "Tess of the Baskervilles" to a puncher trainee samwich [from] now, my son!

Read this man his rights.

- Flint! - Good evening, sir. - Everything all right?

Sorry I could not be around. It was Brian Holden's Testimonial Dinner at "The Old Ship".

Any progress?

According to suspect, so what's stuck at that hole,

is a life-size inflatable plastic doll, with a real vagina.

- A real vagina? - I booked him anyway, sir.

- Do you think he did it? - With 18 years of experience, that will go by, yes sir. - I see.

When this Farmiloe get back?

- Next weekend, sir. - A-a ...

Well, I'm sure you can handle it till then ... Russell.

Give me a rubber room and I'll crack him on midnight.

- So, when you turned up first day Monday morning there was no sign whatsoever of Mr and Mrs West-Roper? - That's right.

- And yet their car was too parked outside in the drive. - It is odd, isn't it?

Constable, wouldn't you search this house for signs of a struggle?

- Will I have to be plugged into a lie detector? - I [don't rule out] any options at this stage.

- Well ... - Not much in this, sir - chicken wings ground in on the carpet,

someone's urinated in the tallboy.

Things are looking up. A knotted black nylon stocking ...

- Ring bells in your [brain, Dave?] - Good God!

Exactly.

The Swaffham strangler.

Now then, Mr Wilt, I'm going to show you something.

Take your time.

- Does this remind you anything? - Yes. - Ah, what?

- A Rorschach inkblot test. - Is anything else?

No, it does not remind me anything else. It must be what it is.

- What you mean, is it reminiscent of another object? - That's exactly what I mean, Mr Wilt.

- Now tell me, is this reminiscent of another object? - Yes.

What exactly?

- A butterfly sitting on the geranium. - A-ah! Interesting!

You don't think, for example, that it looks like a naked woman lying in a pool of blood?

But, of course, I think it looks like a naked woman lying in a pool of blood, but I am not going to tell you that when I am still here on a murder charges.

- I always can say something else. - Yes, Mr Wilt, the object of this exercise is for me to decide

whether or not you're capable of brutally killing your wife and her two friends and to disposing of the bodies.

- And how am I supposed to have done that? Dissolve them in an acid bath? - Ah-ha!

Oh, Dr Pittman. Do you know how many acid that would take?

This [fact] I don't need to know, do I, Mr Wilt? Just what you're trying to tell me.

Well, I tried to tell you, Dr Pittman, that anyone, who believes in such ridiculous theory, doesn't got his head screwed on straight.

I am depressed and frustrated.

My marriage is going nowhere and nor is my career.

True, but you mustn't let it crack you down, sir.

What? It's talk not about me! I put meself in the mind of Henry Wilt.

Well, he was dragged to that party, right? Where he is humiliated.

The focus of his rage, his insane rage, is his wife and these ... West-Ropers.

Oh, my God! He must come back here in the middle of the night when everyone else has gone home.

Gives me goose bumps just to think about it.

There is, eh, there's 3 bulldozers and 6 mechanical diggers just around there upon the front, sir.

That's right. And they're not leaving it till every inch of this ground is turned over.

We almost know him, Dave. I am sure that when second hole of the college is finished there is one of these bodies we're after.

- And then we get back lucky sod to one up. He's not outwits with me! - I'm sure, you will think of something, sir.

You give me a fright, Inspector, it's gone two in the morning.

- I've got an import license for this. - This is not a bust, Mossop!

Oh, it's personal, is it, Mr Flint? Look, if you're too embarrassed to come during regular hours, I can always bring it round the house.

It's official police business. You get a receipt.

- You want an outfit with it? - What?

Lots of customers like to dress them up. I've got teenage temptress or beach goddess ...

Yea, yea, whatever they are ... Good God!

- Peel ready [Bytan?] dildos. - That's my thermos, Mr Flint.

- You seem remarkably disinterested in the gravity of this situation, Mr Wilt. - No, no, no.

A judge is disinterested. Impartial [by not taking any] side. I am ... uninterested.

- Did your wife wear dentures, Mr Wilt? - I beg your pardon? - I think we were playing enough.

No, no, she didn't.

- She was always very keen ... - Ah, thank you very much, I thought it would come out in the end.

What's that? All that "was". The past tense.

- So you admit she is dead. - No, no, no, no, no, no.

Well, you see, you asked me: ... "Did your wife wear dentures?" So, what I said was: "No, she didn't".

You see: she doesn't. Because she's got a mania for cleaning her teeth. And sticking bits of dental floss down the loo.

You've got no idea the number of times I've thought I'd got worms.

I must ask you to to come with me, Mr Wilt.

They finally brought a body in.

Is this your wife, Mr Wilt?

- Is this supposed to be some sort of a joke? - A joke, Mr Wilt? What do you mean?

- Is it or isn't it? - Where did you get this?

Well, [where I did get it] or where I didn't get it is irrelevant.

But there is plus one point. A thing like this, with or without authentic ... vagina, will never fool three witnesses.

Now, come on, you know as well as I do it's Mrs Wilt down that shaft! Are you ready to come clean and admit it?

Inspector, are you sure, [that] your own leading ambition [doesn't] blind your judgement here?

What do you mean, ambition?

Well, I've been told by some of the lads, and isn't it a fact that this case was usually being handled by Inspector ... Farmbelow?

- Farmiloe. - Yes, but he is on the holidays, isn't he?

Are we ? ... What point is in this, Inspector? I know that this is a very important case to you, but ...

I don't think you should overplay your hand here. I hate to see how you make fool of yourself.

I know Community Studies is a difficult subject,

but you don't expect its lecturers to murder their wives and bury them on the premises. - Don't you?

Well, I am amazed more people don't.

Actually, conviction of the first degree homicide is not going to help his promotion application.

We're talking about Henry Wilt.

Don't be a fool, Peter. They will look mild and inoffensive ...

Crippen, Christie, that man in Ruth Ellis' case.

She murdered him.

It's like a raising of the Titanic down there. Look, they've got it really to bring around.

- Come, Wilty! Come round! - Break up, break through, Wilty! - Hey, hey!

- Go seek Biggs in Argentina, mate. - Brazil, Cranham, Brazil.

- Seems your fanclub is here again, Mr Wilt? - I will see your expression on your face when they lift her out of that hole.

I am quite looking forward to see yours.

Certainly, Mr Itachi, money invested in the college by a major Japanese firm such as yours will be money well spent.

- Got at this! - Go!

I hope you know what you're doing.

I thought it will burst.

Thanks to your interest in the college, next term we are commited to several new integrated courses with

substructure grounded thematically on academic patterns.

I suppose that's what you call concrete evidence.

Eva never had red hair and her breasts were never that big.

Probably due to the gases. They putrefy, you know.

- Generally speaking, we have a variable staff. - Position ...

By allocating places to candidates with specialized knowledge in particular areas of academic achievement.

- May I ask a question, Mr Treadaway? - No ... Yes, of course. - What the fuck is going on out there?

For the God's sake, get her down! That's evidence!

Get her down!

Ah, that is what I call a blowjob!

Henry Wilt! That man's always been trouble.

The college will never live this down!

Can we [make a last] photo of you with that rubber doll, sir?

- You could beat me out if you like! [You're nowhere going.] - You're wrong there. It will do me a paragood.

- You knew it was a doll down that hole all the time, didn't you? - I've already told you enough times. - It was a red herring, wasn't it?

To distract us from what should have been the focus of our investigation:

the disappearance of your wife and Sally and Hugh West-Roper. - What are you talking about? - We've checked out that house. Nobody's seen [nor heard any evidence of them] from Friday night.

Which is hardly surprising. Since that when you've massacred all three of them in cold blood.

Don't be ridiculous. First of all, my wife came round home when I was out and she's left ... She's left a note.

A note? - Yes, a note.

- Signed and what she wants to do, evaluate and find around space and all that ... all that bollocks. - Where is this note?

- Well, I ain't got it anymore. - Where is it?

I wiped my bottom on it.

You did what?

I was rather annoyed and I've got no toilet paper, you see.

Do you mean that to me only the one piece of evidence that could corroborate your story, is wrapped around a turd up way to the North Sea?

Yea ...

How tragically inconvenient!

Well?

He's not a bust-off [and is pertinacious]. So he's thinking of calling Amnesty International.

Oh, bloody marvelous. Just say Kylie ... Kylie Minogue in U2 at the Wembley Stadium: "Free Henry Wilt!"

Right ... eh ... Keep on, Dave. Let's give him an another go.

Wouldn't we find this problem with a Manson family?

- Well, how d'you do, Sue? - Audrey. - Sorry, Audrey.

- Well, you'd know that by now. - Why are we whispering? - He's asleep.

The whole point of this exercise is to keep the bastard awake!

- Tapes, Dave. - We've got here 25, sir, so far, but I've managed to find some more in the cupboard. - Right.

- Right, Henry. I'd like to start! - Germany calling, Germany calling. Communicabus.

- What's happening, Dave? - Right. - You must press by the keys together, sir.

... far, Dasher. Something's gotta give!

[Well, it got to end in some ... murder.]

... It's the logical solution ...

...thing grisly would be good ...

Grisly ... yet ingenious. Yes, that it!

This keeps on merging up, doesn't it, Henry?

What's are your time is definitely running out, son.

You know, don't you?

Excuse me?

That's why [you gave me this?]

And all the time I thought you're just another mindless cop.

On Friday night ...

I am back there ...

Back to that house ...

When I got there the last guests were just leaving ...

It was deserted ... but ...

I could hear music coming ...

from an upstairs window ... And a sort of raucous ... loud laughter.

And the three of them up there ... in a sort of Machiavellian orgy, ... mocking the rest of the world.

I had to do it.

I had to purge society of their [ignominious presence].

It was my duty.

Murdering them was easy.

The messy bit is how to dispose of the bodies.

I knew it. I knew that anybody, who could pull that doll-stuff must have something really filthy up his sleeve.

Yes, but that ...

I may need [to go vomit] and lie down.

Are you telling me, [that] this maniac will coming here around Sunday night and put three dead bodies through the mixer?

- That what he claims. Is it feasible? - I don't know, I never tried.

- Where do you put the heads? - We normally put them in the bone waste, in the animal food bins.

The bastard knew everything that there is in this place all right.

I'll need a complete list of everybody you supply.

[I'll find evidence this time even] if we are to search every sausage in the South of England.

It's, eh, sort of looking for a needle in a haystack, sir.

There may be the pies with the family food in, but so far we've not found much evidence of the family.

In other words, you still ain't got anything to convict this man ... Henry Wilt?

- Well ... No, sir ... Not yet, but, sir ... - Right!

- Release him ... - What?

Flint, you have any idea what this bloody case is doing for our credibility?

I am not content with dangling giant rubber obscenities in front of TV cameras.

You go on to plow up 7 acres of someone's private residence ...

on the slim pretext that there may be a body somewhere.

And now, you have the manpower of three police forces [that] will be [gaining on] innocent families like ...

Mongol hordes a-making of with the contents of a ... liver sausage sandwich!

- Have you actually read this man's confession? - No, I didn't want to wait for transcripted ... - Pity! ... Pity.

Because if you had, you might have noticed ... the bloody signature!

Sweeney Todd.

Ah, I think, prison will be carelessly liberating [period/experience].

Penned up and ... OK.

You'd want to take a cast of my face to the chamber of horrors.

I'm taking you home, Henry. It's all over, you've been released.

For God's sake, Hugh. Chuck harder and get us out of here.

It's not my fault, for God's sake. I'm trying as hard as I can!

He's hopeless.

Do you think we'll be stuck here for long, Sal? I really want to phone Henry.

The whole point of this trip, Evie, was that you wouldn't phone Henry.

Leave him to stew in his own emotional juices for a while.

You really ought to loosen up, darling.

You're all knotted and tense.

But it's been three days, Sally. He will be frantic.

Well ...

It's been interesting, and that's for sure.

- Nobody is heard from her, I'm afraid ... - No ...

But she'll be back in couple of days.

Yeah ... I expect she will.

Life will seem settle down. Time's a great healer.

At least you're free now.

Yes, there, I suppose I am.

Well, I better go. Marge's got her disables tonight.

Bye there. Thank you, Peter. Bye bye.

- Oh, I suppose, you [could help to budge] the bloody thing! - Oh, Hugh! [You talk of us as of] the pick up of the leeches!

- [I'm] bloody exhausted. - I'll fetch another bottle from the kitchen.

Galley!

If you're such a nautical genius, why then we're stuck on a sodding sandbank?

[I wish I knew what to do!] We could be ... we could be here for weeks!

- Let us pray for rain. We've run out of Evian. - We should have never come in a first place. I should have never listened to you.

Well, Sal was only thinking of me because of my situation with Henry.

She caused the situation, you stupid cow! [Who], did you think, it was that stuck the doll on Henry in the first place?

- What a rot to marry a dyke! - You're calling Sally lesbian?

She's got their phone numbers. She's calling them herself!

And you've got to let him insult you like this? I mean ... Oh, my God!

You're blind as well as stupid. [You do not think] she had any other reason for wanting you on this boat trip, do you?

She wanted get inside your knickers! ... Ouch! Shit!

Serve you right, you loudmouth wimp!

- Oh, look, I am sorry, Eva. But don't believe everything he says. [He's simply wants to break understanding between us.] - You leave my body alone!

- You've done nothing but lied to me and manipulated! It's all you've done! - All right, then ...

Clear off, butty, you grotty little sammie, and your poxie little [nut of a] husband with his worm of the willy.

- And I lied about my nipples going hard as well. - Go screw yourself!

You [have no hope to get anywhere] in that thing. You'll never make it.

Sic ... transit ... Eva ...

Hello! ... Hello!

- You've got no idea what I've been through. I've been deceived, insulted, sexually molested. - Oh, dear! ...

Polluted probably. That water must have been full of nitrates.

I, I'm freezing, cold and I'm miles from anywhere.

And as always for all this time you've been sitting, doing nothing.

Well, I'll be along as soon as I possibly can.

I've been a little tied up ... Right. OK.

- Can I help you? - Oh vicar ... oh vicar, thank God you are here!

Oh, I'm sorry. I [want] to apologize about this.

It's just [happened that] I had an accident, just [got completely] wet.

I did knock on front door, but there was no reply. I am sorry.

I have sinned. I know I've sinned.

It is Henry! He encourages sin.

You're vicar. You must understand the woman's point of view.

There has been no real life woman in this house since Mrs. Summer, the cleaning lady. She has not been here since Epiphany.

That's obvious.

Of course, I haven't been in the parish long.

- No? Where were you before? ... - Swaffham.

- Where are you going, mate? - Waterswick.

- You better put this on. - Right! ... Yes! ... Dasher! Hop!

Better is a dinner of herbs where love is ...

than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

- You're all right? - All right, thank you, OK. - Good.

As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout ...

so is a fair woman which is without discretion.

- That's me, isn't it? - What?

I am jewel of gold in a swine's snout.

You're all hot and perspiring!

Give me the handkerchief.

- Things people leave in church. - Yes.

That's where I aim to go, Reverend. To the church ... To pray.

I don't know what it is. I just feel I've been so naughty.

- Will you help me find peace? - I hope so.

Well, here we are. She is a very resourceful woman. She've probably found her own way back home by now ... Come on, walkies!

Dasher!

Oh, how lovely!

Why did not I sign my own name. Would be sitting [in the can comfortably] by now. Dasher! Dasher?

- Oh good God! Inspector Flint! - Gotcha! - Oh, please, I have got no time for one more little conversation, sir.

- That is where you dumped [them, eh, Mr Wilt]? - No!

- I am very confident that if we'd dug up these graves, we'd find a dead body in every one! - Well, me too, yes, but ...

- Start digging! - My wife! Please, please!

Oh, oh, my hell bells ...

- Stop! Now listen to me, you cretinous testicle! My wife ... - Your wife! Your wife is dead!

I warn you now, Inspector, that for the first time since our meeting, you're in danger, you actually can be right about something.

Halt, police! [Willing to fire!]

Now, not here! If anybody will kill me and my wife, it will be me!

- It's all right, you can leave this to me! - Yes, fine, thank you.

You, murdering bastard!

Have not you had enough for one week? Ain't? ... Oops!

It's all over. Let her go, Wilt! Let go at once!

Walk away! Walk away! Walk away!

Get up against the wall, Wilt! Go on!

Turn around! Turn around! Spread legs!

Right! Henry Wilt, you are under arrest for a murder of Mr and Mrs West-Roper.

Hey, excuse me! We are Mr and Mrs West-Roper.

Darling, you might have send someone to rescue us.

- Wilt, you're still under arrest! For, eh, for the murder ... of Eva Wilt. - And I am Eva Wilt.

You ... You're ...

In that case ...

I am under arrest.

I am hereby arresting myself, for conspiring a false and vile evidence for wrong for arrest of a private citizen ...

for willful and improper use of police manpower and resources, and a possession of illegal weapon ...

which I knowingly acquired of illegal source ... with intent to murder and maim.

I am not obliged to say anything, but anything I do say could be taken down and used in evidence.

If someone would get a call from police, I should be in the cemetery.

Well, he's had a lot of strain obviously.

Excuse me.

I couldn't use your radio to make an urgent call to Rye? Just had a slight accident.

Teeing off across the way, caught this guy a [crack right] on a temple. Hope he's OK.

- And your name is, sir? - Farmiloe, Inspector Gerald Farmiloe.

Excuse me.

- You look great! - [Do you] really think so?

Can I have all the beginners [down there at] the end of the room, please.

That means you.

What are you doing here?

I am ... I am not with the force anymore. I am with ... [Clope] security.

They ... insisted that I take a refresher course.

- And you? - I've got promoted.

- Head of "Liberal Studies" thanks to Japanese. - Hm.

They said anybody here, who have been due [to be through such trials] as I've been through that, be possessed with the supreme quality, is of valour ... and leadership.

In Japan I'd have been made a God.

- I have [thought ...] She doesn't tell it's one of self-defense! - Oh, that's right, it is.

One must never violate the Code ... or use it ... as an act of agression.

- Must one? - No.

Subtitles by: Vitaly (vipo) (Leningrad-Gush Dan). Made mostly by listening with some help from various translations. Editing program: "Subtitle Edit".