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1
00:00:03,305 --> 00:00:05,527
- Wine country, here we come.
- Yes.
2
00:00:05,611 --> 00:00:08,879
The car is loaded,
and in a few hours we will be, too.
3
00:00:08,963 --> 00:00:12,282
Ooh, this is gonna be
the best girls' trip ever.
4
00:00:12,367 --> 00:00:15,973
Gemma, I love America, but there
is no country like wine country.
5
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:19,962
Okay, so one last
decision before we hit the road:
6
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,578
Which one pairs best
with chardonnay,
7
00:00:22,714 --> 00:00:25,774
- Jeanette or Tamika?
- Ooh.
8
00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:28,502
Oh, what about that
curly black one
9
00:00:28,587 --> 00:00:30,618
that got us kicked out
of that club in Vegas?
10
00:00:30,703 --> 00:00:33,032
Dominique? Oh, no, no,
she's on the wagon.
11
00:00:33,249 --> 00:00:34,673
Oh.
12
00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:37,472
Uh-oh, Jeanette and Tamika.
13
00:00:37,556 --> 00:00:40,579
You can take one or the other,
but you can't take both.
14
00:00:40,995 --> 00:00:43,298
I'm not bailing
you three out again.
15
00:00:44,101 --> 00:00:46,321
Well, it looks like I'm gonna
have to go with Tamika,
16
00:00:46,406 --> 00:00:48,312
so you better behave.
17
00:00:48,945 --> 00:00:51,196
So you want to come watch
the transformation?
18
00:00:51,314 --> 00:00:54,399
Does my Aunt Mayvene dress up
her cats for the holidays?
19
00:00:54,977 --> 00:00:57,494
I was hoping no,
but sounds like yes.
20
00:00:57,579 --> 00:00:59,016
Yes.
21
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,462
I'm just glad
she's not taking Dominique.
22
00:01:01,547 --> 00:01:03,493
That hair is trifling.
23
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,962
What it do, C-Dawg?
24
00:01:06,891 --> 00:01:10,011
Oh, and I thought my biggest
problem was gonna be the wig.
25
00:01:10,657 --> 00:01:12,579
So, since the ladies
are gonna be gone,
26
00:01:12,664 --> 00:01:14,407
I got a little
surprise for us...
27
00:01:14,915 --> 00:01:17,430
Front row tickets
to tonight's game.
28
00:01:17,574 --> 00:01:20,929
Seriously?
Courtside to the Laker game?
29
00:01:21,059 --> 00:01:23,519
C-Dawg is in.
30
00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:25,614
Well, actually,
31
00:01:25,707 --> 00:01:28,347
it's to the hockey game.
32
00:01:30,261 --> 00:01:33,399
Hockey? C-Dawg don't bark
for hockey.
33
00:01:33,929 --> 00:01:35,478
Well, come on,
it's gonna be great.
34
00:01:35,571 --> 00:01:37,968
Kings are playing the Red
Wings... it's an epic rivalry.
35
00:01:38,052 --> 00:01:39,150
Why don't you
want to go?
36
00:01:39,235 --> 00:01:42,016
Well, for starters,
I'm black.
37
00:01:43,165 --> 00:01:45,649
I know that's what everybody
thinks about hockey,
38
00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:48,063
but the truth is, there's a lot
of black players now.
39
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:51,250
Yeah, but they're probably all
Canadian, so that doesn't count.
40
00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:54,722
Come on, Calvin,
don't be such a Negative Nancy.
41
00:01:54,807 --> 00:01:56,502
I'll tell you what,
if at any point
42
00:01:56,587 --> 00:01:58,597
you're not having a good time,
you can leave.
43
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,140
Great. Bye-bye.
44
00:02:02,128 --> 00:02:04,409
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
45
00:02:04,501 --> 00:02:06,408
♪ Welcome to the hood ♪
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
46
00:02:06,524 --> 00:02:08,394
Season 02 Episode 16
Title: "Welcome to the Hockey Game"
47
00:02:08,568 --> 00:02:09,746
Here's your beer.
48
00:02:09,854 --> 00:02:11,990
- What'd I miss?
- Nothing.
49
00:02:12,213 --> 00:02:14,670
Just a bunch of guys
with no vowels in their names
50
00:02:14,755 --> 00:02:15,974
skating in circles.
51
00:02:17,386 --> 00:02:18,675
I mean, the least
they could do
52
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,939
is light the puck on fire
or something.
53
00:02:22,222 --> 00:02:23,760
Come on, Calvin,
you're missing
54
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,335
the finer points
of the game here.
55
00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:28,295
I mean, look at these guys,
they're incredible athletes,
56
00:02:28,379 --> 00:02:31,878
skating 20 miles an hour
on a quarter-inch of steel.
57
00:02:32,245 --> 00:02:34,511
I don't know, man,
I-I'm just not seeing it.
58
00:02:34,596 --> 00:02:35,867
- Oh!
- Oh!
59
00:02:35,952 --> 00:02:37,160
Oh, I saw that.
60
00:02:37,245 --> 00:02:39,306
Oh! Oh, and that!
61
00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:40,699
Oh!
62
00:02:40,783 --> 00:02:42,894
With hits like that,
who needs vowels?
63
00:02:43,174 --> 00:02:45,680
Yeah! Get him!
64
00:02:47,237 --> 00:02:50,315
Wow, this place
is beautiful.
65
00:02:50,781 --> 00:02:52,323
Now where's the wine?
66
00:02:52,636 --> 00:02:55,452
Ooh, there it is. Thank you.
67
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:57,443
I don't work here.
68
00:02:59,807 --> 00:03:02,044
Oh, well, this is good stuff,
you should get another one.
69
00:03:04,597 --> 00:03:05,753
Hello.
70
00:03:05,838 --> 00:03:08,315
Welcome to
Coastal Breeze Winery.
71
00:03:08,526 --> 00:03:10,540
Hi. We have a reservation
under Johnson.
72
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:11,899
- Hmm.
- If possible,
73
00:03:12,015 --> 00:03:13,759
no balcony.
We may get crazy,
74
00:03:13,844 --> 00:03:16,915
and it's safer if we're in
a room we can't fall out of.
75
00:03:17,384 --> 00:03:18,374
Oh, and, um,
76
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:20,470
also nothing near
the elevator.
77
00:03:20,555 --> 00:03:22,712
We don't want to be bothered
by obnoxious drunks.
78
00:03:22,797 --> 00:03:24,146
Oh, yeah.
79
00:03:25,641 --> 00:03:27,344
Fill 'er up.
80
00:03:28,391 --> 00:03:30,930
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
81
00:03:31,235 --> 00:03:33,439
You're Mary J. Blige.
82
00:03:33,531 --> 00:03:34,712
What?
83
00:03:35,727 --> 00:03:38,617
Oh, no, honey,
it's the wig.
84
00:03:40,446 --> 00:03:42,100
My name is
Tina Butler.
85
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:46,615
Oh, I get it. Keeping things
on the down low.
86
00:03:46,954 --> 00:03:48,216
Like me.
87
00:03:49,718 --> 00:03:52,768
Sorry to disappoint you,
but she really is Tina Butler.
88
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,992
Well, for "Tina Butler's"
privacy,
89
00:03:56,076 --> 00:03:59,834
I'm going to upgrade you
to the penthouse suite.
90
00:04:00,288 --> 00:04:02,733
You can call
me Mary J.
91
00:04:14,772 --> 00:04:16,577
Man, there are two things
you don't want to be
92
00:04:16,662 --> 00:04:19,622
in a horror movie...
Having sex or black.
93
00:04:24,591 --> 00:04:28,131
I mean, you, uh,
you're not scared, are you?
94
00:04:28,482 --> 00:04:30,939
Please, Malcolm,
I'm a grown man.
95
00:04:31,334 --> 00:04:33,178
I know scary movies
aren't real.
96
00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:47,819
What the hell is wrong
with you guys?
97
00:04:48,209 --> 00:04:49,936
Us? Nothing.
98
00:04:50,021 --> 00:04:53,350
Can't-can't two brothers
scream together?
99
00:04:54,053 --> 00:04:55,570
Yeah, uh,
100
00:04:55,655 --> 00:04:57,350
Pop, what's with
the outfits?
101
00:04:57,435 --> 00:04:59,005
Oh, we went to the
hockey game together.
102
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:02,246
Yeah, and it was awesome.
Give me some.
103
00:05:07,925 --> 00:05:09,674
Hey, so we on
for tomorrow night?
104
00:05:09,758 --> 00:05:11,683
Pink Floyd laser show
at the planetarium?
105
00:05:11,774 --> 00:05:13,197
Oh, you can
"planet" on it.
106
00:05:13,282 --> 00:05:14,925
Okay, see you tomorrow, buddy.
107
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,441
- Bye, guys.
- See you, Dave.
108
00:05:16,526 --> 00:05:17,748
Yeah.
109
00:05:23,871 --> 00:05:25,093
What?
110
00:05:25,178 --> 00:05:27,139
Uh, you're wearing
a hockey jersey,
111
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,636
you're going to
a Pink Floyd laser show,
112
00:05:29,721 --> 00:05:31,683
and you just made a pun
about planets.
113
00:05:31,859 --> 00:05:34,457
Come on, man,
I thought it was "punny."
114
00:05:36,519 --> 00:05:37,789
Okay, it's official,
115
00:05:38,043 --> 00:05:40,840
you are turning into
a very tan Dave.
116
00:05:41,285 --> 00:05:43,449
I am not turning into Dave.
117
00:05:43,534 --> 00:05:45,888
So you're saying
you're a Pink Floyd fan?
118
00:05:46,185 --> 00:05:48,970
Yeah, all his new stuff
is great.
119
00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:53,922
I don't know, Pop, ever since
you and Dave became friends,
120
00:05:54,061 --> 00:05:55,761
you are kind of
a different person.
121
00:05:55,846 --> 00:05:57,152
Yeah, you don't go to
122
00:05:57,237 --> 00:05:59,621
Ernie's anymore, you don't
play dominoes with the boys,
123
00:05:59,706 --> 00:06:01,817
and just the other day
I saw you put a quarter
124
00:06:01,902 --> 00:06:03,550
in someone else's
parking meter.
125
00:06:03,658 --> 00:06:05,652
It's called paying it forward,
126
00:06:05,877 --> 00:06:08,970
which also happens to be
an excellent movie.
127
00:06:09,457 --> 00:06:12,457
Okay, who are you, and what
have you done with our father?
128
00:06:13,778 --> 00:06:14,988
Man, y'all tripping.
129
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,746
You're just being
a couple of Negative Nancys.
130
00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:20,872
Who said that?
131
00:06:22,471 --> 00:06:24,184
Did you see
the bathroom?
132
00:06:24,269 --> 00:06:27,172
I mean, if this isn't
the nicest hotel I've ever seen,
133
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,535
then my name isn't
Mary J. Blige.
134
00:06:30,418 --> 00:06:33,090
Your name isn't Mary J. Blige.
135
00:06:33,571 --> 00:06:36,019
It's Tina J. Liar.
136
00:06:37,149 --> 00:06:40,083
Oh, come on, Gemma,
we're not hurting anyone.
137
00:06:40,168 --> 00:06:42,997
I know, but aren't you worried
about getting caught?
138
00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:44,379
A little,
139
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:47,168
but I think those free
massages they're sending up
140
00:06:47,253 --> 00:06:49,388
will melt those worries away.
141
00:06:49,499 --> 00:06:52,130
Wait, when did you
arrange that?
142
00:06:52,215 --> 00:06:54,908
I didn't,
my publicist did.
143
00:06:55,057 --> 00:06:56,820
And if anyone asks you,
you're my publicist.
144
00:06:56,905 --> 00:06:59,693
No. Tina,
145
00:06:59,823 --> 00:07:01,785
we are never gonna be able
to pull this off.
146
00:07:01,965 --> 00:07:04,180
Just because one guy thought
you were Mary J. Blige
147
00:07:04,264 --> 00:07:06,008
doesn't mean you can fool
a whole hotel.
148
00:07:06,185 --> 00:07:07,969
Of white people?
149
00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:11,544
Honey, I could tell them
I was Martin Luther King,
150
00:07:11,629 --> 00:07:12,918
and they'd believe it.
151
00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:15,645
All this free stuff
just doesn't
152
00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:17,519
seem like it's worth the risk.
153
00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:20,394
Gemma, this is
not about free stuff.
154
00:07:20,479 --> 00:07:21,950
Then what is it?
155
00:07:22,035 --> 00:07:24,027
Well, I know this
may sound silly,
156
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,590
but ever since
I was a little girl,
157
00:07:25,675 --> 00:07:27,768
I always wanted to be
a famous singer,
158
00:07:28,043 --> 00:07:30,777
and now for the next
couple of days, I can be.
159
00:07:31,002 --> 00:07:32,572
I mean, didn't you ever
dream like that?
160
00:07:33,949 --> 00:07:35,480
Yes.
161
00:07:36,272 --> 00:07:38,066
Back when I was growing up
in Hickory Corners,
162
00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:41,718
I always dreamed of being
the Fall Festival Hog Queen.
163
00:07:43,954 --> 00:07:45,805
What is that and why?
164
00:07:45,957 --> 00:07:48,137
It is the biggest honor in town.
165
00:07:48,336 --> 00:07:51,401
You get a sash, a tiara, and
you get to ride down Main Street
166
00:07:51,485 --> 00:07:54,360
on a float pulled
by a team of pigs.
167
00:07:55,891 --> 00:07:57,842
What a relatable story.
168
00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,757
I would've won, too.
169
00:07:59,841 --> 00:08:02,281
I crushed
the bacon-eating contest,
170
00:08:02,365 --> 00:08:06,227
but that damn greased pig
got away from me every time.
171
00:08:06,782 --> 00:08:08,532
Gemma, I never thought
I would say this,
172
00:08:08,617 --> 00:08:12,071
but being
Mary J. Blige...
173
00:08:13,672 --> 00:08:15,762
...is my greased pig.
174
00:08:23,868 --> 00:08:25,899
Morning.
175
00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:35,109
Hey, look at that.
176
00:08:35,268 --> 00:08:38,688
- Great minds dress alike.
- We're not dressed alike.
177
00:08:39,007 --> 00:08:41,993
My shirt has little
blue squares, and yours has, um,
178
00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:44,018
little blue boxes.
179
00:08:45,203 --> 00:08:46,650
I don't know.
180
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,141
Looks pretty
similar to me.
181
00:08:48,297 --> 00:08:50,156
Yeah, well, no one else
would think that.
182
00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:53,211
Look at you two, twinsies!
183
00:09:00,728 --> 00:09:02,180
Hey, what's up,
boys?
184
00:09:03,828 --> 00:09:04,992
Well, what is up
with you,
185
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:08,321
Run-DMC, you're having
a midlife crisis?
186
00:09:08,922 --> 00:09:11,336
Very funny.
For your information,
187
00:09:11,444 --> 00:09:14,211
I'm kicking it
with my old dance crew tonight.
188
00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:16,415
Your old dance crew?
189
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,829
Didn't Keith just
have hip surgery?
190
00:09:19,484 --> 00:09:21,524
Yeah. You know, he's still got
his handicap placard,
191
00:09:21,609 --> 00:09:24,493
so we get to park
right in front of the club.
192
00:09:24,586 --> 00:09:26,141
But I thought you were
supposed to go
193
00:09:26,226 --> 00:09:27,438
to the planetarium
tonight?
194
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:30,031
Yeah, man, but those planets
gonna be there forever.
195
00:09:30,124 --> 00:09:33,391
Keith's handicap placard,
it expires next week.
196
00:09:34,651 --> 00:09:38,005
Come on, Pop, is this because we
teased you about becoming Dave?
197
00:09:38,090 --> 00:09:42,539
No. This is about me getting
back in touch with my roots,
198
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,362
about not forgetting who I am.
199
00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:46,555
And who exactly
is that?
200
00:09:46,708 --> 00:09:49,975
Calvi-tronic,
the Bionic Breaking Machine.
201
00:09:59,014 --> 00:10:00,671
Oh.
202
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:02,720
I don't know about
a breaking machine,
203
00:10:02,804 --> 00:10:04,722
but something just
broke inside of me.
204
00:10:06,896 --> 00:10:10,195
Uh-oh, there's Dave.
What you gonna tell him?
205
00:10:10,422 --> 00:10:12,945
I'm a grown-ass man.
206
00:10:13,151 --> 00:10:14,236
I'm not afraid
207
00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:16,422
to tell him what's what.
208
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,922
I'm gonna tell him
I'm sick.
209
00:10:22,258 --> 00:10:24,421
Hey, Calvin. You
ready to roll?
210
00:10:24,648 --> 00:10:26,758
Nice blanket. I have
one just like it.
211
00:10:27,086 --> 00:10:29,811
Can't go tonight, man.
I'm sick.
212
00:10:29,904 --> 00:10:31,169
Oh, no.
213
00:10:31,341 --> 00:10:32,549
Got sick at the hockey game.
214
00:10:32,643 --> 00:10:35,246
It was really cold
in there, man.
215
00:10:40,967 --> 00:10:42,014
Really? You know,
216
00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,927
they keep the rink
at 65 degrees.
217
00:10:44,138 --> 00:10:47,099
I know, but for black people,
that's like 32.
218
00:10:48,435 --> 00:10:50,631
Okay, well, feel
better, buddy.Yeah.
219
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,919
- Bye, guys.
- Okay...
220
00:10:54,099 --> 00:10:55,794
Damn, Pop,
that was cold.
221
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:57,627
I know.
222
00:10:57,985 --> 00:11:00,154
32 degrees, baby.
223
00:11:05,329 --> 00:11:09,287
Ooh, that was an
amazing massage.
224
00:11:09,372 --> 00:11:10,780
Not as good
as the one yesterday,
225
00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:13,310
but better than the one
this morning.
226
00:11:14,059 --> 00:11:15,872
It was pretty great.
227
00:11:16,271 --> 00:11:18,241
But do you feel like
we're taking advantage?
228
00:11:19,256 --> 00:11:21,478
Ooh, yay! That must be
our second lobsters.
229
00:11:21,562 --> 00:11:23,115
Hi, Jeffrey.
230
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,827
Hi. This is awkward, but...
231
00:11:25,912 --> 00:11:28,646
We can explain. I wanted
to be Hog Queen.
232
00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:33,185
Don't... don't
mind my publicist.
233
00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:35,255
She has a pill problem.
234
00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:38,311
So what can we do for you?
235
00:11:38,396 --> 00:11:40,889
Well, one of our guests
is celebrating her birthday
236
00:11:40,973 --> 00:11:43,587
later tonight in the lounge,
and I was hoping...
237
00:11:43,671 --> 00:11:47,185
that Ms. Blige could pop by
for a quick hello.
238
00:11:47,865 --> 00:11:49,037
Okay, honey,
239
00:11:49,122 --> 00:11:51,252
- that sounds like fun.
- Oh, and you know
240
00:11:51,368 --> 00:11:54,064
what would be even more fun?
If she sings "Happy Birthday."
241
00:11:54,188 --> 00:11:55,673
Oh, yeah, that'd be real...
242
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,314
Wait, what?!
243
00:11:57,743 --> 00:12:00,362
Oh, that is so amazing.
Thank you.
244
00:12:00,447 --> 00:12:02,093
I am much obliged.
245
00:12:02,312 --> 00:12:03,691
You see what I did there?
246
00:12:03,775 --> 00:12:04,775
Did you see it?
Fun.
247
00:12:04,860 --> 00:12:06,085
Okay.
248
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:08,948
What the hell, Gemma?
249
00:12:09,033 --> 00:12:11,150
How tight is
that towel?
250
00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:13,400
Tina. Don't you see?
251
00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:14,846
This is your dream.
252
00:12:14,931 --> 00:12:16,651
Tonight's your night
to be famous.
253
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,494
Yeah, but as soon
as I open my mouth,
254
00:12:18,579 --> 00:12:21,049
they're gonna know
that I'm not Mary J. Blige.
255
00:12:21,134 --> 00:12:24,048
No, they won't.
You have an amazing voice.
256
00:12:24,133 --> 00:12:27,197
Yeah.
But still!
257
00:12:27,993 --> 00:12:30,744
Besides, it's like you said,
this is a winery.
258
00:12:30,829 --> 00:12:33,072
Everyone here is whiter
than the chardonnay.
259
00:12:34,251 --> 00:12:37,072
Well, it does sound
kind of fun.
260
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,425
Now you're talking.
261
00:12:38,509 --> 00:12:40,869
And, hey, maybe I could be
your backup singer.
262
00:12:40,954 --> 00:12:42,956
Stay in your lane, pig girl.
263
00:12:47,039 --> 00:12:49,018
Oh, hey, uh, Dave.
264
00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:51,438
I thought you were going
to the planetarium.
265
00:12:51,672 --> 00:12:53,979
Well, I was, but I realized
it wouldn't be as much fun
266
00:12:54,081 --> 00:12:55,658
without Calvin, so I decided
to stay home
267
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:56,953
and make him some soup.
268
00:12:57,038 --> 00:12:58,205
How's he doing?
269
00:12:58,298 --> 00:13:00,181
- Better.
- Worse.
270
00:13:00,681 --> 00:13:01,881
Well, which is it?
271
00:13:01,966 --> 00:13:03,750
- Worse.
- Better.
272
00:13:05,188 --> 00:13:08,107
Okay, well, uh, maybe
the soup will help.Yeah.
273
00:13:08,191 --> 00:13:10,349
Just tell him I'll check in
on him tomorrow.
274
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:16,281
Yeah.
275
00:13:18,626 --> 00:13:20,018
Hey.
276
00:13:23,641 --> 00:13:25,451
Calvin, what are you doing
out of bed,
277
00:13:25,536 --> 00:13:27,287
and why are you dressed
so funky fresh?
278
00:13:27,372 --> 00:13:28,529
Uh,
279
00:13:28,614 --> 00:13:30,998
I went to the drugstore
to get some medicine.
280
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:32,566
Where is it?
281
00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:35,240
Damn it, I knew
I forgot something.
282
00:13:35,957 --> 00:13:37,614
Hold on.
283
00:13:37,698 --> 00:13:40,443
Calvin, did you lie to me
about being sick?
284
00:13:40,746 --> 00:13:43,228
No. Because I amsick.
285
00:13:43,547 --> 00:13:45,035
I let down my defenses
286
00:13:45,175 --> 00:13:48,851
and got all infected
with your Dave-ness.
287
00:13:50,179 --> 00:13:51,462
Wh... Infected?
288
00:13:51,547 --> 00:13:53,751
Yeah, I mean, you got
me going to hockey.
289
00:13:53,836 --> 00:13:55,676
I mean, you and I
are dressing alike.
290
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:57,765
The other day
a Taylor Swift song came on,
291
00:13:57,849 --> 00:13:59,680
and I didn't even turn it off.
292
00:13:59,764 --> 00:14:02,723
Actually,
he turned it up.
293
00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:08,303
I didn't know having things
in common was being infected.
294
00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:10,517
I thought that
was being friends.
295
00:14:10,991 --> 00:14:12,499
Uh...
296
00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:14,030
- Dave.
- No, you know what, Calvin?
297
00:14:14,115 --> 00:14:15,695
You said your piece.
Enjoy the soup.
298
00:14:15,795 --> 00:14:18,819
It's infected, too.
With love!
299
00:14:23,476 --> 00:14:26,312
Ooh... thank you for
making me do this, Gemma.
300
00:14:26,412 --> 00:14:28,240
I'm feeling kind of hyped.
301
00:14:29,444 --> 00:14:30,711
Oh, good.
You're here.
302
00:14:30,795 --> 00:14:33,086
Thank you again
for doing this, Ms. Blige.
303
00:14:33,171 --> 00:14:34,500
Okay.
So the birthday girl's name
304
00:14:34,585 --> 00:14:35,846
is Cynthia,
and she is sitting
305
00:14:35,930 --> 00:14:37,210
right over there.
306
00:14:40,195 --> 00:14:42,522
She is not going
to believe this!
307
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,913
No, she is not.
308
00:14:45,835 --> 00:14:49,509
Okay, so I'm gonna go
introduce you. Showtime!
309
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,733
Tina, they're not white!
310
00:14:52,817 --> 00:14:54,086
They're gonna know.
311
00:14:54,171 --> 00:14:55,997
Okay. All right.
Gemma...
312
00:14:56,081 --> 00:14:57,281
let's get the
hell out of here.
313
00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:59,305
Ladies and gentlemen,
the one and only
314
00:14:59,389 --> 00:15:01,352
Mary J. Blige!
315
00:15:01,437 --> 00:15:03,526
Oh... Gemma.
316
00:15:05,569 --> 00:15:06,834
How you doing?
317
00:15:06,918 --> 00:15:08,923
Oh, what the
hell are we gonna do?
318
00:15:09,007 --> 00:15:11,230
Okay. Okay.
It's gonna be fine.
319
00:15:11,314 --> 00:15:12,352
You're gonna
go up there,
320
00:15:12,437 --> 00:15:13,928
you're gonna
sing your heart out,
321
00:15:14,092 --> 00:15:16,242
and you're gonna
live your dream. Okay?
322
00:15:16,436 --> 00:15:17,670
You're right.
You're right.
323
00:15:17,770 --> 00:15:18,810
- This is my chance.
- Yes.
324
00:15:19,012 --> 00:15:20,103
I got this.
325
00:15:20,188 --> 00:15:21,450
But just in case...
326
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,153
It'll be harder to describe me
to the police.
327
00:15:27,990 --> 00:15:29,690
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
328
00:15:29,945 --> 00:15:32,342
Hey, how you doing?
329
00:15:32,930 --> 00:15:34,731
Well, this song goes out
330
00:15:34,815 --> 00:15:36,305
to my girl Cynthia.
331
00:15:40,511 --> 00:15:43,883
♪ Happy birthday
332
00:15:43,968 --> 00:15:45,927
♪ To you
333
00:15:48,838 --> 00:15:49,886
♪ Happy
334
00:15:49,971 --> 00:15:52,803
♪ Birthday to
335
00:15:53,051 --> 00:15:54,938
♪ You
336
00:15:55,445 --> 00:15:58,799
♪ Happy birthday
337
00:15:58,883 --> 00:16:01,531
♪ Dear Cynthia
338
00:16:02,055 --> 00:16:06,163
♪ Happy birthday
339
00:16:06,278 --> 00:16:08,849
♪ To
340
00:16:08,995 --> 00:16:11,429
♪ You.
341
00:16:15,378 --> 00:16:16,711
Thank you.
342
00:16:17,328 --> 00:16:18,923
Thank you so much,
Ms. Blige.
343
00:16:19,008 --> 00:16:20,305
That was
simply beautiful.
344
00:16:20,390 --> 00:16:21,742
Awesome. I'm not done yet.
345
00:16:21,827 --> 00:16:25,110
"Family Affair," hit it!
346
00:16:27,563 --> 00:16:30,786
♪ Yeah, yeah
347
00:16:30,871 --> 00:16:32,615
♪ Oh, yeah
348
00:16:32,946 --> 00:16:35,792
♪ Come on, everybody!
349
00:16:35,876 --> 00:16:36,793
Isn't she amazing?
350
00:16:36,946 --> 00:16:38,795
She is.
351
00:16:38,879 --> 00:16:41,142
But she sure as hell
ain't Mary J. Blige.
352
00:16:43,275 --> 00:16:45,367
Okay, look.
She's my best friend,
353
00:16:45,451 --> 00:16:47,021
and she's up there
living her dream.
354
00:16:47,105 --> 00:16:48,105
So?
355
00:16:48,297 --> 00:16:49,980
So, if you don't rat us out,
356
00:16:50,064 --> 00:16:51,634
you can have
our penthouse suite,
357
00:16:51,718 --> 00:16:53,506
all the massages
we have scheduled for tomorrow,
358
00:16:53,590 --> 00:16:54,765
and...
359
00:16:55,755 --> 00:16:57,149
68 bucks.
360
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:03,407
- Go, Mary! - Go, Mary! - Go, Mary!
- Go, Mary! - Go, Mary! - Go, Mary!
361
00:17:03,624 --> 00:17:06,024
♪ Let's get it crunk upon
362
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,607
♪ Have fun upon
up in this dancery ♪
363
00:17:08,692 --> 00:17:11,959
♪ We got ya open,
now you're floatin' ♪
364
00:17:12,043 --> 00:17:14,091
♪ So you gots to dance for me
365
00:17:14,198 --> 00:17:16,344
♪ Don't need no hateration
366
00:17:16,429 --> 00:17:19,226
♪ Holleration in this dancery
367
00:17:19,311 --> 00:17:22,399
♪ Let's get it percolatin',
while you're... ♪
368
00:17:24,805 --> 00:17:25,886
Hey, Dave.
369
00:17:25,970 --> 00:17:27,141
Yeah, careful, Calvin.
370
00:17:27,226 --> 00:17:28,758
You don't want
to catch anything else.
371
00:17:28,842 --> 00:17:31,631
I've been told my laugh
is pretty contagious.
372
00:17:32,773 --> 00:17:33,807
Look, man...
373
00:17:33,907 --> 00:17:35,199
I'm sorry if I hurt
your feelings,
374
00:17:35,283 --> 00:17:37,637
but I just felt like
your Dave-ness
375
00:17:37,721 --> 00:17:39,769
was rubbing off on me too much.
376
00:17:39,853 --> 00:17:41,336
Well, what's wrong with that?
377
00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:44,274
Why can't friends
rub off on each other?
378
00:17:45,766 --> 00:17:48,547
Rubbing off on people
is completely natural.
379
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:51,625
I welcome people
rubbing off on me.
380
00:17:52,365 --> 00:17:55,676
If anybody's listening,
we're just neighbors!
381
00:17:56,711 --> 00:17:59,071
I just don't understand
why it's such a bad thing
382
00:17:59,157 --> 00:18:01,274
for friends to
influence each other.
383
00:18:01,527 --> 00:18:03,447
You don't think that I've
changed because of you?
384
00:18:03,539 --> 00:18:04,836
How have youchanged?
385
00:18:04,931 --> 00:18:06,839
I'm more assertive,
like you,
386
00:18:06,924 --> 00:18:08,624
I'm more confident,
like you,
387
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:10,539
and if someone's being
a jackass, I now tell them
388
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,235
they're being
a jackass...
389
00:18:12,570 --> 00:18:13,969
jackass.
390
00:18:14,313 --> 00:18:15,814
One more compliment like that,
391
00:18:15,898 --> 00:18:17,250
and we're gonna have
a problem.
392
00:18:17,369 --> 00:18:19,883
Calvin, we already
do have a problem.
393
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,680
Why would I want to be
friends with someone
394
00:18:21,765 --> 00:18:24,466
who thinks being me
is such a bad thing?
395
00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:25,815
'Cause I'm dope.
396
00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:29,563
And your attitude...
It's... wickity-wack.
397
00:18:31,274 --> 00:18:35,738
Look, Dave, I don't think
being you is a bad thing.
398
00:18:35,822 --> 00:18:37,436
All right, you're a good dude.
399
00:18:37,704 --> 00:18:39,655
But Calvin Butler has an edge.
400
00:18:39,739 --> 00:18:42,179
And around here,
people see me a certain way,
401
00:18:42,263 --> 00:18:43,625
and I don't want to lose that.
402
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,019
Fine, but don't blame me
403
00:18:45,104 --> 00:18:48,571
because Taylor Swift sang
her way into your heart.
404
00:18:48,774 --> 00:18:51,469
I don't know what it is,
she just gets me.
405
00:18:53,714 --> 00:18:55,197
But you're right.
406
00:18:55,633 --> 00:18:59,494
I shouldn't have done that,
and, uh... I'm sorry.
407
00:19:00,532 --> 00:19:03,125
You know what?
It, it's okay.
408
00:19:04,024 --> 00:19:05,855
You know what's better
than okay?
409
00:19:06,039 --> 00:19:08,047
That soup you made.
410
00:19:09,159 --> 00:19:11,321
I knewyou'd like it.
411
00:19:11,465 --> 00:19:13,548
I used the parsnips we got
from the farmers market.
412
00:19:13,633 --> 00:19:15,160
Oh, yeah, right.
From the lady...
413
00:19:15,253 --> 00:19:17,704
- With the yellow overalls.
- With the yellow overalls.
414
00:19:18,860 --> 00:19:21,329
- No, that's too much.
- Yeah, this is getting weird. Okay.
415
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:30,680
Hey, man. We were
in the middle of a game.
416
00:19:30,765 --> 00:19:31,789
Not anymore.
417
00:19:31,899 --> 00:19:34,977
It's been canceled
on the account of dance.
418
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,189
Oh, come on, Dad.
We don't want to see
419
00:19:38,274 --> 00:19:39,634
your tired old dance moves.
420
00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:42,696
Yeah. And I'm not
helping you up this time.
421
00:19:43,110 --> 00:19:46,145
Nah, man. What you're about
to see is all new.
422
00:19:46,230 --> 00:19:47,696
Yo, D-Money!
423
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,153
Let's get stupid.
424
00:20:00,729 --> 00:20:01,911
♪ Uh!
425
00:20:04,709 --> 00:20:05,872
♪ Uh!
426
00:20:08,522 --> 00:20:09,849
♪ Uh!
427
00:20:12,575 --> 00:20:13,864
♪ Uh!
428
00:20:16,544 --> 00:20:18,024
♪ Uh!
429
00:20:24,059 --> 00:20:26,216
Are-are we gonna sit here
and watch this?
430
00:20:26,395 --> 00:20:28,045
Hell no.
431
00:20:28,177 --> 00:20:29,713
Let's battle these fools.
432
00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,789
♪ Uh!
433
00:20:34,999 --> 00:20:36,566
♪ Uh!
434
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,685
♪ Uh!
435
00:20:40,769 --> 00:20:42,769
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
436
00:20:43,012 --> 00:20:44,349
♪ Uh!
437
00:20:45,103 --> 00:20:46,125
♪ Uh!
438
00:20:46,430 --> 00:20:48,293
Sync & corrections by srjanapala
439
00:20:48,711 --> 00:20:49,771
♪ Uh!
31534
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