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1
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,708
Wine country,
here we come. Yes.
2
00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:16,059
The car is loaded, and in
a few hours we will be, too.
3
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:19,149
Ooh, this is gonna be
the best girls' trip ever.
4
00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:23,153
Gemma, I love America, but there
is no country like wine country.
5
00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:27,027
[chuckles] Okay, so one last
decision before we hit the road:
6
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:29,812
Which one pairs best
with chardonnay,
7
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:33,555
Jeanette or Tamika?
Ooh.
8
00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:35,426
Oh, what about that
curly black one
9
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,559
that got us kicked out
of that club in Vegas?
10
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:40,214
Dominique? Oh, no, no,
she's on the wagon.
11
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:41,650
Oh.
12
00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:44,653
Uh-oh, Jeanette and Tamika.
13
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:48,091
You can take one or the other,
but you can't take both.
14
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,137
I'm not bailing
you three out again.
15
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:53,662
Well, it looks like I'm gonna
have to go with Tamika,
16
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:56,186
so you better behave.[both laugh]
17
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,536
So you want to come watch
the transformation?
18
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,191
Does my Aunt Mayvene dress up
her cats for the holidays?
19
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:04,629
I was hoping no,
but sounds like yes.
20
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:06,196
Yes.
[laughs]
21
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,720
I'm just glad
she's not taking Dominique.
22
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:11,114
That hair is trifling.
23
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,769
What it do, C-Dawg?
24
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:17,294
Oh, and I thought my biggest
problem was gonna be the wig.
25
00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:19,905
So, since the ladies
are gonna be gone,
26
00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:21,429
I got a little
surprise for us--
27
00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:24,867
front row tickets
to tonight's game.
28
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:28,305
Seriously?
Courtside to the Laker game?
29
00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:31,265
C-Dawg is in. [barks]
30
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:32,788
Well, actually,
31
00:01:32,831 --> 00:01:35,486
it's to the hockey game.
[barks]
32
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,230
Hockey? C-Dawg don't bark
for hockey.
33
00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,667
Well, come on,
it's gonna be great.
34
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:45,148
Kings are playing the Red
Wings-- it's an epic rivalry.
35
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:46,149
Why don't you
want to go?
36
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:49,544
Well, for starters,
I'm black.
37
00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:53,025
I know that's what everybody
thinks about hockey,
38
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:55,158
but the truth is, there's a lot
of black players now.
39
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:58,509
Yeah, but they're probably all
Canadian, so that doesn't count.
40
00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:01,904
Come on, Calvin,
don't be such a Negative Nancy.
41
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,384
I'll tell you what,
if at any point
42
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,777
you're not having a good time,
you can leave.
43
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:07,431
Great. Bye-bye.
44
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,435
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
45
00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:12,741
♪ Welcome to the hood.
46
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,139
Here's your beer.
47
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:21,358
What'd I miss?
Nothing.
48
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,882
Just a bunch of guys
with no vowels in their names
49
00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,145
skating in circles.
50
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,148
I mean, the least
they could do
51
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:30,411
is light the puck on fire
or something.
52
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:33,153
Come on, Calvin,
you're missing
53
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,719
the finer points
of the game here.
54
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:37,679
I mean, look at these guys,
they're incredible athletes,
55
00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:40,943
skating 20 miles an hour
on a quarter-inch of steel.
56
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:44,076
I don't know, man,
I-I'm just not seeing it.
57
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,252
Oh!
Oh!
58
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:46,253
Oh, I saw that.
59
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,690
CROWD: Oh!Oh, and that!
60
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,082
Oh!
61
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,128
With hits like that,
who needs vowels?
62
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,696
Yeah! Get him!
63
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:59,222
Wow, this place
is beautiful.
64
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:01,268
Now where's the wine?
65
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:04,836
Ooh, there it is.
Thank you.
[chuckles]
66
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,403
I don't work here.
67
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,452
Oh, well, this is good stuff,
you should get another one.
68
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:13,715
[chuckles]
69
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,238
Hello.
70
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,632
Welcome to
Coastal Breeze Winery.
71
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:20,025
Hi. We have a reservation
under Johnson.
72
00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,418
Hmm.
If possible,
73
00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:23,246
no balcony. We may get crazy,
74
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,857
and it's safer if we're in
a room we can't fall out of.
75
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,859
Oh, and, um,
76
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,818
also nothing near
the elevator.
77
00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:32,429
We don't want to be bothered
by obnoxious drunks.
78
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:33,822
GEMMA:
Oh, yeah.
79
00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:37,565
Fill 'er up.[both chuckle]
80
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,741
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
81
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,831
You're Mary J. Blige.
82
00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:44,311
What?
83
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:47,357
Oh, no, honey,
it's the wig.
84
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:49,664
[laughs]
85
00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,753
My name is
Tina Butler.
86
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:55,800
Oh, I get it. Keeping things
on the down low. [chuckles]
87
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,106
Like me.
88
00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:02,198
Sorry to disappoint you,
but she really is Tina Butler.
89
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,375
Well, for "Tina Butler's"
privacy,
90
00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:08,726
I'm going to upgrade you
to the penthouse suite.
91
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:12,121
You can call
me Mary J.
92
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,433
[horror movie music playing
on TV]
93
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,478
[woman screaming on TV]
94
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,961
Man, there are two things
you don't want to be
95
00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:28,964
in a horror movie--
having sex or black.
96
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,969
[woman screams]
97
00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:37,799
I mean, you, uh,
you're not scared, are you?
98
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,323
Please, Malcolm,
I'm a grown man.
99
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,020
I know scary movies
aren't real.
100
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,024
[both screaming]
101
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:57,384
What the hell is wrong
with you guys?
102
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,516
Us? Nothing.
103
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,214
Can't-can't two brothers
scream together?
104
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,695
MALCOLM:
Yeah, uh,
105
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:07,045
Pop, what's with
the outfits?
106
00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,699
Oh, we went to the
hockey game together.
107
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:12,094
Yeah, and it was awesome.
Give me some.
108
00:05:16,881 --> 00:05:19,057
Hey, so we on
for tomorrow night?
109
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:21,451
Pink Floyd laser show
at the planetarium?
110
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:23,061
Oh, you can
"planet" on it.
111
00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:24,324
[both laugh]Okay, see you
tomorrow, buddy.
112
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:26,064
Bye, guys.
See you, Dave.
113
00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:27,370
Yeah.
114
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,416
[chuckles]
115
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:34,812
What?
116
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:36,858
Uh, you're wearing
a hockey jersey,
117
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:39,121
you're going to
a Pink Floyd laser show,
118
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:41,166
and you just made a pun
about planets.
119
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,517
Come on, man,
I thought it was "punny."
120
00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:47,172
Okay, it's official,
121
00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:49,871
you are turning into
a very tan Dave.
122
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:53,048
I am not turning into Dave.
123
00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:55,485
So you're saying
you're a Pink Floyd fan?
124
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:58,314
Yeah, all his new stuff
is great.
125
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:03,493
I don't know, Pop, ever since
you and Dave became friends,
126
00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:05,277
you are kind of
a different person.
127
00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:06,757
MARTY:
Yeah, you don't go to
128
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:09,064
Ernie's anymore, you don't
play dominoes with the boys,
129
00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:11,414
and just the other day
I saw you put a quarter
130
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,373
in someone else's
parking meter.
131
00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:15,418
It's called paying it forward,
132
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:18,595
which also happens to be
an excellent movie.
133
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:21,511
Okay, who are you, and what
have you done with our father?
134
00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:24,558
Man, y'all tripping.
135
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,777
You're just being
a couple of Negative Nancys.
136
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:30,215
Who said that?
137
00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:33,436
Did you see
the bathroom?
138
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,439
I mean, if this isn't
the nicest hotel I've ever seen,
139
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,267
then my name isn't
Mary J. Blige.
140
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,966
Your name isn't Mary J. Blige.
141
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:44,665
It's Tina J. Liar.
142
00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:49,234
Oh, come on, Gemma,
we're not hurting anyone.
143
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:52,020
I know, but aren't you worried
about getting caught?
144
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:53,456
A little,
145
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,720
but I think those free
massages they're sending up
146
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,940
will melt those worries away.
147
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:01,333
Wait, when did you
arrange that?
148
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:04,293
I didn't,
my publicist did.
149
00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:06,251
And if anyone asks you,
you're my publicist.
150
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:09,124
No. Tina,
151
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,169
we are never gonna be able
to pull this off.
152
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,563
Just because one guy thought
you were Mary J. Blige
153
00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:15,391
doesn't mean you can fool
a whole hotel.
154
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,219
Of white people?
155
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:20,309
Honey, I could tell them
I was Martin Luther King,
156
00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,571
and they'd believe it.
157
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:25,053
All this free stuff
just doesn't
158
00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:26,707
seem like it's worth the risk.
159
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:29,623
[sighs] Gemma, this is
not about free stuff.
160
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:30,841
Then what is it?
161
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:33,061
Well, I know this
may sound silly,
162
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,802
but ever since
I was a little girl,
163
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:37,152
I always wanted to be
a famous singer,
164
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:40,285
and now for the next
couple of days, I can be.
165
00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:41,939
I mean, didn't you ever
dream like that?
166
00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:44,376
Yes.
167
00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:47,597
Back when I was growing up
in Hickory Corners,
168
00:07:47,641 --> 00:07:51,209
I always dreamed of being
the Fall Festival Hog Queen.
169
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:55,257
What is that and why?
170
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:57,520
It is the biggest honor in town.
171
00:07:57,564 --> 00:08:00,784
You get a sash, a tiara, and
you get to ride down Main Street
172
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:04,962
on a float pulled
by a team of pigs.
173
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,225
What a relatable story.
174
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:09,140
I would've won, too.
175
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:11,665
I crushed
the bacon-eating contest,
176
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:15,843
but that damn greased pig
got away from me every time.
177
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,062
Gemma, I never thought
I would say this,
178
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:21,152
but being
Mary J. Blige...
179
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:25,113
...is my greased pig.
180
00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:32,163
[Calvin whistling]
181
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:35,427
BOTH:
Morning.
182
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,567
Hey, look at that.
183
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:48,353
Great minds dress alike.We're not dressed alike.
184
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,660
My shirt has little
blue squares, and yours has, um,
185
00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:53,402
little blue boxes.
186
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,883
I don't know.
[chuckles]
187
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:57,362
Looks pretty
similar to me.
188
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,277
Yeah, well, no one else
would think that.
189
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:03,543
Look at you two, twinsies!
190
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:04,805
[laughs]
191
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:14,815
Hey, what's up,
boys?
192
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,294
Well, what is up
with you,
193
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:19,210
Run-DMC, you're having
a midlife crisis?
194
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:22,649
Very funny.
For your information,
195
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:25,042
I'm kicking it
with my old dance crew tonight.
196
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:27,828
Your old dance crew?
197
00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:29,873
Didn't Keith just
have hip surgery?
198
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:33,094
Yeah. You know, he's still got
his handicap placard,
199
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:36,053
so we get to park
right in front of the club.
200
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,533
But I thought you were
supposed to go
201
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,969
to the planetarium
tonight?
202
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:41,406
Yeah, man, but those planets
gonna be there forever.
203
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:44,235
Keith's handicap placard,
it expires next week.
204
00:09:46,063 --> 00:09:49,458
Come on, Pop, is this because we
teased you about becoming Dave?
205
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:54,115
No. This is about me getting
back in touch with my roots,
206
00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,812
about not forgetting who I am.
207
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:57,858
And who exactly
is that?
208
00:09:57,901 --> 00:10:01,209
Calvi-tronic,
the Bionic Breaking Machine.
209
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:04,168
[grunting]
210
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:12,220
Oh.
211
00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:13,961
I don't know about
a breaking machine,
212
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,963
but something just
broke inside of me.
213
00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:17,834
[knocking on door]
214
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:21,708
Uh-oh, there's Dave.
What you gonna tell him?
215
00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:24,536
[scoffs]
I'm a grown-ass man.
216
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:25,973
I'm not afraid
217
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:28,323
to tell him what's what.
[chuckles]
218
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,368
I'm gonna tell him
I'm sick.
219
00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:36,157
Hey, Calvin. You
ready to roll?
220
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,507
Nice blanket. I have
one just like it.
221
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:41,118
Can't go tonight, man.
I'm sick. [grunting]
222
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,467
Oh, no.
223
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:44,295
Got sick at the hockey game.
224
00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:46,515
It was really cold
in there, man.
225
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,909
[shuddering]
226
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:53,914
Really? You know,
227
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,567
they keep the rink
at 65 degrees.
228
00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:58,135
I know, but for black people,
that's like 32.
229
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,922
Okay, well, feel
better, buddy.Yeah.
230
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:05,273
Bye, guys.[grunts] Okay...
231
00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:07,405
Damn, Pop,
that was cold.
232
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,364
I know.
233
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,235
32 degrees, baby.
234
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:21,245
Ooh, that was an
amazing massage.
235
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:22,377
Not as good
as the one yesterday,
236
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:24,771
but better than the one
this morning.
237
00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:27,425
It was pretty great.
238
00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:29,689
But do you feel like
we're taking advantage?
239
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:30,907
[knocking on door]
240
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:33,214
Ooh, yay! That must be
our second lobsters.
241
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,520
Hi, Jeffrey.
242
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:37,218
Hi. This is awkward, but...
243
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,655
We can explain. I wanted
to be Hog Queen.
244
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,004
[Tina chuckling]
245
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:44,704
Don't... don't
mind my publicist.
246
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,401
She has a pill problem.
247
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:49,796
So what can we do for you?
248
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:52,624
Well, one of our guests
is celebrating her birthday
249
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:55,323
later tonight in the lounge,
and I was hoping...
250
00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:58,282
that Ms. Blige could pop by
for a quick hello.
251
00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,328
Okay, honey,
252
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,939
that sounds like fun.Oh, and you know
253
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:05,463
what would be even more fun?
If she sings "Happy Birthday."
254
00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:06,856
[gasps]Oh, yeah,
that'd be real...
255
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,075
Wait, what?!
256
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:12,035
Oh, that is so amazing.
Thank you.
257
00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,950
I am much obliged.
258
00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,169
[both laughing]You see
what I did there?
259
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:16,170
Did you see it?
Fun.
260
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:18,607
Okay.
[all chuckling]
261
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,522
What the hell, Gemma?
262
00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:22,263
How tight is
that towel?
263
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:25,135
Tina. Don't you see?
264
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:26,441
This is your dream.
265
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,225
Tonight's your night
to be famous.
266
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,140
Yeah, but as soon
as I open my mouth,
267
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:32,621
they're gonna know
that I'm not Mary J. Blige.
268
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:35,972
No, they won't.
You have an amazing voice.
269
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,583
[sighs] Yeah.
But still!
270
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:42,239
Besides, it's like you said,
this is a winery.
271
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,807
Everyone here is whiter
than the chardonnay.
272
00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:48,245
Well, it does sound
kind of fun.
273
00:12:48,289 --> 00:12:50,160
Now you're talking.
274
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:52,380
And, hey, maybe I could be
your backup singer.
275
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,425
Stay in your lane, pig girl.
276
00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,431
Oh, hey, uh, Dave.
277
00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:03,173
I thought you were going
to the planetarium.
278
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,393
Well, I was, but I realized
it wouldn't be as much fun
279
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,264
without Calvin, so I decided
to stay home
280
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:08,526
and make him some soup.
281
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:09,527
How's he doing?
282
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:12,095
Better.Worse.
283
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,531
Well, which is it?
284
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,359
Worse.Better.
285
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,842
Okay, well, uh, maybe
the soup will help.Yeah.
286
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,279
Just tell him I'll check in
on him tomorrow.
287
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:24,325
[grunting]
288
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:28,329
Yeah.
289
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:31,636
Hey.
290
00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:37,077
Calvin, what are you doing
out of bed,
291
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,774
and why are you dressed
so funky fresh?
292
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,950
Uh,
293
00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,734
I went to the drugstore
to get some medicine.
294
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:44,301
Where is it?
295
00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:46,608
Damn it, I knew
I forgot something.
296
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,350
Hold on.
297
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:52,179
Calvin, did you lie to me
about being sick?
298
00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,964
No. Because I amsick.
299
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:56,531
I let down my defenses
300
00:13:56,574 --> 00:14:00,013
and got all infected
with your Dave-ness.
301
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,016
Wh-- Infected?
302
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,322
Yeah, I mean, you got
me going to hockey.
303
00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,411
I mean, you and I
are dressing alike.
304
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:09,500
The other day
a Taylor Swift song came on,
305
00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:11,415
and I didn't even turn it off.
306
00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:14,418
Actually,
he turned it up.
307
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:20,250
I didn't know having things
in common was being infected.
308
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,252
I thought that
was being friends.
309
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:24,428
Uh...
310
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:25,821
Dave.No, you know
what, Calvin?
311
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,431
You said your piece.
Enjoy the soup.
312
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:30,478
It's infected,
too. With love!
313
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,877
Ooh... thank you for
making me do this, Gemma.
314
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,879
I'm feeling
kind of hyped.[chuckling]
315
00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:42,446
Oh, good.
You're here.
316
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,535
Thank you again
for doing this, Ms. Blige.
317
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:46,059
Okay.
So the birthday girl's name
318
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:47,582
is Cynthia,
and she is sitting
319
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:48,496
right over there.
320
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,415
She is not going
to believe this!
321
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:57,113
No, she is not.
322
00:14:57,157 --> 00:15:01,204
Okay, so I'm gonna go
introduce you. Showtime!
323
00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:04,468
Tina, they're not white!
324
00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:05,513
They're gonna know.
325
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,732
Okay. All right.
Gemma...
326
00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:08,995
let's get the
hell out of here.
327
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,040
Ladies and gentlemen,
the one and only
328
00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:12,563
Mary J. Blige!
329
00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:15,262
Oh... Gemma.
330
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:17,220
[applause][whimpering]
331
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,569
How you doing?
332
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:20,658
[chuckles] Oh, what the
hell are we gonna do?
333
00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:22,965
Okay. Okay.
It's gonna be fine.
334
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,010
You're gonna
go up there,
335
00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:25,663
you're gonna
sing your heart out,
336
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:27,970
and you're gonna
live your dream. Okay?
337
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,406
You're right.
You're right.
338
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:30,407
This is my chance.
Yes.
339
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:31,582
I got this.
340
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:32,888
But just in case...
341
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:37,458
It'll be harder to describe me
to the police.
342
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:41,810
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
343
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:44,291
Hey, how you doing?
344
00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:46,467
Well, this song goes out
345
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:48,077
to my girl Cynthia.
346
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,993
[applause]
347
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:55,824
♪ Happy birthday
348
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,826
♪ To you
349
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:01,786
♪ Happy
350
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,702
♪ Birthday to
351
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:07,096
♪ You
352
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:10,534
♪ Happy birthday
353
00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:12,754
♪ Dear Cynthia
354
00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:18,064
♪ Happy birthday
355
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,718
♪ To
356
00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:23,199
♪ You.
357
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:27,029
[applause]
358
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,291
Thank you.
359
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,467
Thank you so much,
Ms. Blige.
360
00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,121
That was
simply beautiful.
361
00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:33,557
Awesome. I'm not done yet.
362
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:37,344
"Family Affair," hit it!
363
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,215
[band starts playing]
364
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:42,523
♪ Yeah, yeah
365
00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:44,351
♪ Oh, yeah
366
00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:47,528
♪ Come on, everybody!
367
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:48,529
Isn't she amazing?
368
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,531
She is. [chuckles]
369
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:52,837
But she sure as hell
ain't Mary J. Blige.
370
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,103
Okay, look.
She's my best friend,
371
00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,756
and she's up there
living her dream.
372
00:16:58,800 --> 00:16:59,801
So?
373
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,716
So, if you don't rat us out,
374
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,370
you can have
our penthouse suite,
375
00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:05,241
all the massages
we have scheduled for tomorrow,
376
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,460
and...
377
00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:08,636
68 bucks.
378
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:15,338
ALL:
Go, Mary! Go, Mary! Go, Mary!
379
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,906
♪ Let's get it crunk upon
380
00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:20,343
♪ Have fun upon
up in this dancery ♪
381
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:23,694
♪ We got ya open,
now you're floatin' ♪
382
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:25,827
♪ So you gots to dance for me
383
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,351
♪ Don't need no hateration
384
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,962
♪ Holleration in this dancery
385
00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:33,487
♪ Let's get it percolatin',
while you're... ♪
386
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:37,621
Hey, Dave.
387
00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:38,927
Yeah, careful, Calvin.
388
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,494
You don't want
to catch anything else.
389
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:43,366
I've been told my laugh
is pretty contagious.
390
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,325
Look, man...
391
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,935
I'm sorry if I hurt
your feelings,
392
00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:49,372
but I just felt like
your Dave-ness
393
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,505
was rubbing off on me too much.
394
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:53,072
Well, what's wrong with that?
395
00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:55,378
Why can't friends
rub off on each other?
396
00:17:57,337 --> 00:18:00,427
Rubbing off on people
is completely natural.
397
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,472
I welcome people
rubbing off on me.
398
00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:08,130
If anybody's listening,
we're just neighbors!
399
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,741
I just don't understand
why it's such a bad thing
400
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:13,179
for friends to
influence each other.
401
00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:15,050
You don't think that I've
changed because of you?
402
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,747
How have youchanged?
403
00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:18,575
I'm more assertive,
like you,
404
00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:20,360
I'm more confident,
like you,
405
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,275
and if someone's being
a jackass, I now tell them
406
00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,667
they're being
a jackass...
407
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,887
jackass.
408
00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:27,584
One more compliment like that,
409
00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,020
and we're gonna have a problem.
410
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,806
Calvin, we already
do have a problem.
411
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:33,416
Why would I want to be
friends with someone
412
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:36,202
who thinks being me
is such a bad thing?
413
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:37,551
'Cause I'm dope.
414
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:41,294
And your attitude--
it's... wickity-wack.
415
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:47,474
Look, Dave, I don't think
being you is a bad thing.
416
00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:49,171
All right, you're a good dude.
417
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:51,391
But Calvin Butler has an edge.
418
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,915
And around here,
people see me a certain way,
419
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,482
and I don't want to lose that.
420
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:56,874
Fine, but don't blame me
421
00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:59,877
because Taylor Swift sang
her way into your heart.
422
00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:02,489
I don't know what it is,
she just gets me.
423
00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:06,449
But you're right.
424
00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:11,150
I shouldn't have done that,
and, uh... I'm sorry.
425
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:15,502
You know what?
It, it's okay.
426
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:17,591
You know what's better
than okay?
427
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,332
That soup you made.
428
00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,640
I knewyou'd like it.
429
00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,599
I used the parsnips we got
from the farmers market.
430
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,209
Oh, yeah, right.
From the lady...
431
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:30,169
BOTH:
With the yellow overalls.
432
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:32,649
No, that's too much.Yeah, this is
getting weird. Okay.
433
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:42,093
[muttering][clears throat]
434
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:44,226
Hey, man. We were
in the middle of a game.
435
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,445
Not anymore.
436
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:48,448
It's been canceled
on the account of dance.
437
00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:51,538
Oh, come on, Dad.
We don't want to see
438
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,192
your tired old dance moves.
439
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:56,325
Yeah. And I'm not
helping you up this time.
440
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:59,502
Nah, man. What you're about
to see is all new.
441
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:00,721
Yo, D-Money!
442
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,907
Let's get stupid.
443
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:13,995
[hip-hop music playing]
444
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,039
♪ Uh!
445
00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:18,956
♪ Uh!
446
00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:23,744
♪ Uh!
447
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:27,269
♪ Uh!
448
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,230
♪ Uh!
449
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:39,847
Are-are we gonna sit here
and watch this?
450
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:41,675
Hell no.
451
00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:43,459
Let's battle these fools.
452
00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:45,505
♪ Uh!
453
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:47,811
♪
454
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:49,422
♪ Uh!
455
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:54,470
♪ Uh!
456
00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:57,691
♪ Uh!
457
00:20:58,692 --> 00:20:59,693
♪ Uh!
458
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:03,566
♪ Uh!
459
00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,568
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
460
00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:08,702
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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