Original subtitles

* The Ballad of Josie

* A story to remember

* A pretty girl, a sturdy girl *

* Made of solid timber

* She set her sights and fought her fights *

* 'Cause justice was her aim

* And Arapahoe County has never been the same *

* She didn't wear no fancy duds *

* And worked like any man

* She faced a lot of danger

* And still she never ran

* For Josie had some high ideals *

* And never did she lose 'em *

* And she also had some rough words *

* In case she had to use them

* The Ballad of Josie

* The Ballad of Josie

* A story to remember

* A story to remember

* A pretty girl, a sturdy girl *

* Made of solid timber

* She set her sights and fought her fights *

* 'Cause justice was her aim

* And Arapahoe County has never been the same *

* The Ballad of Josie

* The Ballad of Josie

* A story to remember

* A story to remember

* The Ballad of Josie

* The Ballad of Josie

Luther.

Get goin'.

Luther.

We've had about all of you we can handle for tonight, Whit Minick.

Take your hands off me.

Another nickel's worth more out of you, you spend the night in jail.

Now get on home to your wife...

and stay there.

All right, back inside, everybody.

Come on. You've seen Whit Minick go through a window before.

He's on his way, Ma.

Careful.

Oh, sorry.

Go on. Get going.

Josie, open the door!

Josie!

Any time, Whit Minick.

Any time.

You keep away from me.

Watch--Will you watch what you're doing!

- Stop it! - I only had a few!

I'm telling you.

Will you stop it?

All right, Josie!

Why you gotta hit--

No! Don't break the--

Whit!

Whit, stop it.

Josie, open that door!

Do you hear me?

This is your husband speaking.

Will you open that door?

Whit!

Whit, get up.

Whit--Evening, Fonse.

- Howdy. - Whit,

will you please get up there?

Whit.

We are gathered here today to say good-bye

to one who has wandered in our midst

for a decade or more as a friend

and a fellow citizen, Whit Minick.

We offer our sympathy

to Whit's father here in his hour of grief

and to the widow Minick and her poor little boy.

We're here to say good-bye to Whit.

I recall Whit Minick, the man.

Why, I can see you, Whit, as if it was yesterday,

stagger--or walking down Main Street,

and kind of a grin on his face,

and we'd pass.

I'd turn to Whit and say, "Hi, Whit,"

and he'd say, "Hi," and be on his way,

but that was Whit for you.

One always look--

one that was always ready to say hi.

Look at 'em all sweat trying to make up their minds.

Why, th-there wasn't a...

About what?

...a widow or an orphan--

Whether to put her in jail or pay her a bounty.

It can go either way.

I can hear him now.

"Hi."

Amen.

Take this.

How is she doing?

Not crying. Not smiling either.

She must feel terrible.

Not having a man is bad enough,

but to have one and then lose him--

You don't lose a man like Whit Minick.

You escape him.

Must have caught him coming in.

Timing had to be just right.

There he is, drunk as $700.

Step in.

Rotate hips.

He lunges. Zip! Zam!

Whammo!

Oh, girls, I give you Josie Minick!

But Miss Annabelle says you gotta eat, Ma.

Honey, Mama's not hungry.

Look what I brought you.

You want it?

Can I?

Mm-hmm.

I'll take care of you, Ma...

maybe go up to Little Bighorn and fight Injuns.

As I was saying, gentlemen, this is a matter of the law,

and it doesn't matter one way or the other to the law at all

that Josie Minick had reached the absolute end of her rope.

It doesn't matter to the law

whether she had suffered 10 years

or 10 minutes of misery at the hands of the deceased.

Now, we all have to deal with a louse now and then,

and it's the law that tells us how far we can go

and where we have to stop.

I assure you, gentlemen, that society itself

would crumble and fall

if we fail to stop where the law says we must...

or if we try to take the law into our own hands.

So I want you to forget that Whit Minick was a louse,

he welshed on his bets,

he was a miserable father and a worse husband.

I want you to forget all that.

Let's look at it this way.

You gentlemen are all married, most of you,

and the little woman is going to get out of sorts

every now and again.

It's bound to happen.

What would you do next time that happens

if the Territory of Wyoming

allows her to pick up a pool cue, huh?

Guilty.

Not sure.

Not guilty.

One guilty, one not guilty,

six not sure.

All right, I'm the guilty.

And I'm the not guilty.

Only man with any guts on this jury is me.

It beats me how you and I

can cow-ranch next to each other all these years

and never a cross word and never agree on a damn thing.

Well, I got a white-faced bull I don't agree with either, Arch,

but I figure it ain't worth my time to try to convert him.

Well, what do we do now?

We get down to cases.

Whatever the verdict, Mrs. Minick,

the question of Luther will still have to be faced.

Now let us recognize certain facts.

I've been the sole support

of the three of you for some 10 years now,

and you must recognize that my obligation to my grandson

is somewhat different than to you.

Mr. Minick, we don't need your obligations.

I have two hands and a house, and I am willing--

There's nothing wrong with your two hands, Mrs. Minick,

but mine happen to hold the mortgage on that house,

so until and unless you are able to provide for Luther,

I think he'll be better off with me in Cheyenne,

and I suspect the court will agree.

Judge!

I'm afraid he's right, Josie.

That's the way it's got to be,

but I think it's a little foolish chewing on all this

before we've decided whether she's gonna go to jail or not.

Well, I think we'd better get back in there.

Fonse.

No peeking at my hand, Doc.

Not guilty.

Not sure.

Not sure.

Not guilty.

Well, that's two guilty and four not guilty

and two not sure. We're gaining.

Well, I ain't gonna vote to hang no woman.

Oh, who in the heck says we're gonna hang her?

She killed somebody.

You vote guilty, you're gonna hang her.

We ain't gonna hang nobody,

not even you.

All we're gonna do is kind of put her away

in the pokey for a couple of weeks.

For what good reason, Arch?

The man needed killing.

Now who says?

Now you says.

You called Whit Minick seven kinds of a no-account.

You called him a welsher and a wife-beater

and a yellow-livered coyote,

and everybody heard you, too, over at the Stockman's.

Wouldn't have hit him with no pool cue.

You can't fault a man for jostling his woman round

a little bit in his own home. Woman needs it now and then.

There's a principle involved.

You think you're the only one who's got principles?

I--

Uh, gents?

Judge says you can't get a verdict by 6:00,

we're gonna take you to supper at the Trail's End.

Court'll come to order.

Well, now, just don't count your chickens

before they're hatched.

You may like it in Cheyenne.

I won't like Cheyenne.

I like it here.

Don't they think you can take care of me?

Of course they do, Luther.

It's just that u-until Mama gets settled,

you're better off with Grandpa.

Whoa.

We could go to Montana and fight Injuns.

We could go cow ranching at Willow Creek.

I can ride, and I could learn to rope.

It's Grandpa.

I'll think about it, sweetheart.

I assume you'll be staying here

for the time being, at least.

Yes, sir.

'Course, in an emergency, I'm only half a day away.

Please remember that.

Thank you.

Good-bye.

Come on, Luther.

Good-bye.

You be a good boy for Mama.

Be a good boy.

I love you.

Remember Willow Creek!

Ohh.

"Pay to the order of Josephine Minick,

the sum of--"

$1,000 is kind of an awkward sum.

It's too big to fritter away

and too little to really go to Hell on.

You know, it made good sense

for your husband's pa to take out insurance.

It's a wise father that knows his own son.

Do you know what I would do with this?

I'd buy me a $40 corset,

a perky French bonnet and a new dress,

and then I would go down to Denver

and join all 46 churches.

Bet you 16-to-3 that I'd have a man by snow time.

You already got one.

It's a more or less unmentionable arrangement.

All the comforts and none of the responsibilities.

Renfrew, you are so jealous,

you are purely grinding your back teeth down to a nub.

Just the same,

if I had to spend 10 years with Whit Minick--

Well, let's face facts.

She either stays here and knits tea cozies

and joins my torchbearers committee

to work for women's rights,

or she can hunt up another man.

There's just two ways to...

go.

Sure was a surprise to me.

All dressed up...

No place to go. Sad thing.

Sure is.

Mm-hmm.

Look out!

Wait!

Ed, I need that horse and buggy.

I'm sorry, Miss Josie. It's the law.

But what am I supposed to do?

You in trouble with the law again, Josie, hmm?

Well, I seem to be.

He can't give me my horse and buggy.

- Hmm? - Probate or some such.

I don't know the fancy words.

If I did, I wouldn't be busting my back around here.

I wanted to go out to our place at Willow Creek.

Oh, I thought Whit let that go.

No. He wanted to,

but it was half mine, and I wouldn't let him.

Well, if it ain't Josie Minick.

Mr. Ogden.

Congratulations.

Where are you going?

Um, up to Willow Creek.

Gonna stop by and have a look at Josie's spread.

Up you go.

What you gonna do out on Willow Creek?

Raise beef.

Now don't josh me.

Well, a woman's gotta turn her hand at something

with a boy to raise and all.

Isn't that right, Josie? You're gonna be neighbors.

He's pulling my leg.

I think.

What are you up to out at Willow Creek?

Oh, I just thought I'd go out and take a look around.

It's been a long time.

Nice, isn't it?

I kind of forgot what spring was like in the country.

Well, I guess you didn't get a chance

to get out here too often.

You got any plans, Josie?

No. Not really.

You know, I don't think it's gonna do you any good

sitting around Annabelle's with the girls.

Got any suggestions?

No, but I'll think on it if you want me to.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

There it is.

It's a nice place, Josie.

Oh, it could have been.

We just never really got it started, Jase.

We built the house...

proved it up...

but then...

Yeah, I know.

Come on.

- Whoa. - Thank you.

Oh, Jase!

Oh, look at this mess!

Looks like some saddle tramp's

been taking advantage of your hospitality.

Every winter.

Oh, dear, it's filthy!

Josie, you know, those cows out there belong to Arch Ogden.

He surrounds you on three sides, and he's had his eye

on this patch of ground for quite a while.

He needs the grazing space.

You know, if you go about it just right,

you can get a good price out of him,

good price.

Well, I hadn't thought about selling, Jase.

Well, what are you going to do with it?

Well, now, there's no reason

I can't use it for the same purpose, is there?

- Grazing space? - Uh-huh.

For what?

For cows, my own cows.

Your own cows?

That's right.

A woman running a cow ranch?

Well, now, what's so wrong about that?

Well, Josie, you didn't take me seriously back in town.

I mean, I was just kidding Arch about what I said, you know.

I know that, Jase. It was Luther's idea.

- Hmm? - It was.

He said to me, "Mama, we can either

go to Montana and fight Injuns,

or we can raise cows at Willow Creek."

And this seems to be the most practical.

Not by much, it isn't.

Now, what do you mean, not by much?

There's no reason why I can't have

my own cows grazing on my own--

Now, Mrs. Minick, there are a whole lot of reasons

why you can't have your own cows out here,

and one day we'll sit down and talk about 'em.

Well, there's no time like the present.

But unfortunately, I have to go.

Oh, you do?

Yeah. I got friends coming for supper.

- Oh, supper? - Mm-hmm.

Well, we better get a move on.

Well, we don't have to gallop at it, you know.

I'm sorry, Jase.

You should have told me you had company coming.

Oh, that doesn't matter.

Well, it's so out of your way to take me back to town.

No, no, it's nothing special.

It's just a dull political meeting--

Wyoming statehood.

Hey, you mind a little cigar smoke and politics?

Well, to tell you the truth, it sounds awful.

I'll feed you better than Annabelle,

and that's a money-back guarantee.

That sounds good.

You're sure I won't be in the way, now?

No, no. They're all your friends, too, Josie.

Get up! Get up!

Yes, sir, there's nothing like a pretty woman

to cheer up a dull political meeting.

Josie, I understand why you're upset

about this cow ranch business.

I'm not upset. They're upset.

I want to make sure you're not mad about that trial.

Of course not.

You should never pay too much attention

to what a prosecutor says. You know,

if I don't make the right noises in that courtroom,

they figure I haven't earned my pay.

I never tried a case I wanted to lose as much as that one.

I want you to know that.

Ah, he's all heart, that Charlie is.

Heh. Jase!

I don't want her feeding a grudge!

Charlie, I'm not feeding a grudge.

I just want to find a way to feed Luther and me.

That's all.

Now, don't you worry.

We'll take care of you, Josie.

I don't want to be taken care of.

Don't you understand that?

Who's going to foreman for you...

Annabelle Pettijohn?

I don't think that's very funny, Mr. Pruitt.

Oh, didn't mean it to be.

It ain't funny at all.

It's nutty, that's what it is.

- Nutty? - Nutty!

Sheriff, so help me--

Josie Minick, you remember your place.

And what place is that?

It ain't on a cow ranch, for one thing.

What is so wrong about a woman on a cow ranch?

I'm strong, and I'm able to do anything--

Tut-tut-tut, Josie. Take it--

- Please don't tut-tut me. - Stop.

Sit down, Fonse.

You're getting in over your head.

You don't even know what we're talking about.

Excuse me, Mr. Meredith. Dinner is served.

Thank you, Ben. Thank you very much.

Josie.

Shall we go on in, gentlemen?

Here we are.

Right here.

- Oh, Fonse! - Come on, Doc.

Eh.

Now...

Well, somebody's got...

Yes, sir. Nothing like a pretty woman

to cheer up a dull political meeting.

Josie, I had a notion that you might be able to give us

a woman's point of view on a political question.

Charlie, would you like to...

Thank you, Jase.

Josie, we want the Territory of Wyoming

to be admitted into the Union as a state.

Right, but to go in as a state,

we gotta get our ladies to give up the vote.

You see, if we go in with the ladies voting,

well, then the rest of the women in the other 43 states

are liable to get kinda jealous. You see the problem?

So we have to ask our ladies to give up the vote,

just temporarily, you understand,

and then we'll give it back to them once we get in.

Are you going to ask us or tell us?

What kind of question is that?

You told me to remember my place, Mr. Pruitt.

I'm only asking.

I was talking about cow ranching.

Ahem. Yeah.

Well, Josie, you see, the ladies have kind of got us

between a rock and a hard place, you know?

Well, now, Charlie here is going back to Washington

to speak his piece, but he wants to go

feeling that he has the cooperation of the ladies.

Now, what do you think of our chances?

Not much.

I'm getting fed up to the gills

with crusadin' females.

One thing you can't kick under the rug,

women are people.

In this territory, women are also voters,

and if you want to stay in office,

you've got to learn to live with that fact.

If Josie Minick here wants to go cow ranching

or if she wants to go fighting Indians at the Bighorn,

there's nothing in our constitution

says she can't do it.

You're gonna tell 'em that in Washington?

They already know it.

Annabelle sends them a telegram every Friday.

You know what our motto is?

"Cedant arma togae."

Let arms yield to the gown.

Go forth, Josie.

Go forth and conquer.

The world is your oyster,

especially in Wyoming.

Thank you, Charlie.

Not enough room for both of us.

Get going.

Hi, Jase.

That cow's been bedded down in the back room,

thinks she owns the place.

Say, I got something to show you.

Watch this.

All it needed was priming.

It's good as new.

The roof's tight.

Put new glass in my windows for $7.00.

Come on in.

Come on.

Looks a little different, huh?

'Course, the floor's rotted out in a couple of places,

but I can fix that.

Oh, when the court releases my furniture, Jase,

I'm gonna have it all sent out from town.

Won't that be nice?

Oh, Jase, if I can just get this place to pay...

I'll have my son back soon.

Would you like some coffee?

Well, say hello to Columbine.

We got a friend here I want you to meet.

She lives under the floor.

She won't hurt you.

Got an owl in the attic, too.

I'll get the coffee.

Well, it's a fine place you got here, Josie.

Wait till you see it when I finish--

It's a fine place for owls and skunks and--

but not for a fool woman

who thinks she can go cow ranching all by herself.

What did you say?

You heard me. I said, "Fool woman."

I do not intend to have you cow ranching alone,

not today or tomorrow or next year or ever.

- You don't intend to have-- - That's right.

Well, then just what do you want me to do, Jase?

Sit on a shelf at Annabelle Pettijohn's

or take upstairs employment at a saloon?

- I never said such a thing. - I said it,

but you'd approve of that, wouldn't you?

It's perfectly all right for a woman

to take that kind of a job, isn't it?

To you, a woman is a-- is a species of idiot

to be kept in a back closet somewhere

and spoon-fed three times a day.

That's what--

All right, Josie, that's enough.

- Now, you listen to me. - Fine.

I got no prejudice against women,

not entirely, anyhow.

There are places that women belong

and there are places they don't.

I am so sick and tired--

And one of the places they don't

is all alone on a cattle spread with Indians and wolves

and drunk saddle tramps and cow thieves and roundups.

That means roping and branding and castrating.

And then there's blizzard kill and Texas fever

and locoweed and bronc busting

and riding line and fence mending

and a couple of hundred other things

that'd back a man up against the wall, much less a woman.

What do you mean, "Much less a woman"?

Well, I ain't about to explain that remark to you,

not now or not ever,

but you're not gonna blow $1,000 on beef

and go ranching out here in the coulees

all by yourself.

- It's my money, and-- - That's it, and that's it!

Get out!

Damn!

Aah!

And I can help with the advertising.

I can take care of customers for you.

There's just no limit to what I could do.

I just had a thought.

My wife's in Omaha visiting her sister and I'm alone--

Please, Mr. Fremont.

I really do need this job.

I'll work the first week for nothing.

I got a better idea.

How about you and I go--

Mr. Fremont.

Hey, Josie, if all you want is a job,

they need a waitress down at the Trail's End!

A woman in a bank?

Yes, sir.

You mean handling the money and all?

Oh, I'm true blue, Mr. Hovitt, honest as the day is long,

and if you'll just give me a chance--

Just thought of something.

Nick's looking for a waitress down at the Trail's End.

Thank you.

Got a great piece of news.

I can have the job?

Slim Trent just told me they need a waitress--

At the Trail's End.

You heard.

Yes, I heard.

Thank you.

How you doing tonight?

Come on now. Bring those over here.

To the table over here.

I'll be right there.

Bring those orders over here.

Just stack it up on me.

Ohh!

Oh, I'm sorry!

Oh, I'm sorry!

Sorry!

I'm sorry.

I-I'm sorry, Nick.

You should be.

Piece of white cake for the corner table.

Piece of--

Piece of white cake.

Uh...

coming.

Oh, here she comes.

Ow!

Ow. Ow!

Pick 'em up!

I'm sorry.

You did real good, Josie.

Evening, Josie.

I see you got through your first day

in fine style, hmm?

What's yours?

Eh, coffee.

Cream and sugar?

Real good waitress you got there, Nick.

Oh, uh...

Whoop.

Good morning.

I got a political meeting in Cheyenne this afternoon.

You happen to be going in that direction,

I'd be mighty proud to take you.

I'll take that, Josie. I--

Ahem.

Looks like it's gonna be a long ride.

I'm sorry for blowing up at you like I did, Josie,

out at the ranch, I mean.

You know, they say that the admission of ignorance

is the beginning of wisdom.

I don't know a damn thing about women.

I never did.

You gotta take that into account.

Well, I said my apologies.

Well, I don't intend to say mine.

Cried all over my pillow with what you did to me last night.

Heh. Well, you got to admit, you were pretty hard on me.

I meant to be.

Are you quitting, Josie?

Are you running off to Grandpa Alpheus?

Are you licked?

Maybe.

Say, you know, I got some--

I got some fried chicken back here,

and I got a place in mind that we can eat it.

Mrs. Minick, I just invited you for some fried chicken.

Now, the least you can do is say yes or no.

I'd be delighted.

'Course, now that I think about it,

it's not a good idea to eat when you're all riled up.

You know, when you get mad, all them juices

just churn around down there something fierce,

and then, uh, the chicken will just sit there

and get kind of soggy and lie there,

and oh, no. No, no.

I wouldn't want to--I wouldn't want to force any food on you

if your stomach's gonna fight it, unh-uh.

Oh, no.

I said I'd be delighted.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Here we are.

Why are we stopping here?

This is where we're gonna have our picnic. Come on.

There you are.

Oh, my goodness.

Look.

Look at this.

Well, this, Mrs. Minick, is everything I had once.

This was my home when I first came out here.

The Indians burned me out.

Really, Jase?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I was kind of a colossal failure back in Ohio,

and I took what I had left, and I came out here

with a woman...

...and I sort of did it again.

She left me, and I spent the whole winter out here

with nothing to eat

but snowshoe rabbits and chicken mash.

But I stayed.

Well, that's the important thing, isn't it?

You stayed.

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, I had-- I had good friends, too.

You remember old man Pettigrew in the bank?

- Mm-hmm. - Well, he was one of 'em.

He gave me a loan, a cash loan.

He didn't have to, but he did, and it got me back on my feet.

Do you know that that's the first place I ever saw you?

In the bank.

Your hair was different then.

It was down, huh?

- Yes. - Yeah.

And you had on a blue polka-dot dress

with a white collar,

and it kind of set off your yellow hair.

And your boy was with you.

Oh, he couldn't have been more than two then,

and he was, uh--he was destroying a peppermint stick.

That--That's six years ago.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is.

Well, old man Pettigrew has been dead for four.

Sure.

Gosh, how can you remember all that so well?

Well...

Uh-oh. I was afraid of that.

Hmm.

That's one calamity I missed out on.

This was still cow country when I pulled out.

Oh, look, Jase!

Look at the baby!

Ohh!

Oh, look at him!

Is he precious?

Oh, he the good boy?

Ooh, he the good boy.

Heh.

He probably lost his mommy, huh?

No. It's the other way around most likely.

You know that the only one of the Lord's creatures

too stupid to recognize its own young one

is a mother sheep?

Don't you say that.

No, I mean it.

That could be the only black lamb in the whole flock,

but if she can't sniff its tail,

she wouldn't know it from a goat.

- I don't believe it. - Now what are you gonna do?

You gonna eat or open up an orphanage? Come on.

You have no heart.

Ah...

Oh, what a baby.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, he's a beauty.

Yes, he's a beauty.

Hmm.

He probably thinks you're his mommy.

Ah, dear. Heh heh heh.

He wouldn't know any better, you know that?

Boy, if my friends saw me doing this,

they'd run me out of town on a rail.

If I had thought about it,

we would have stopped to eat north of the dead line.

The what?

The dead line.

Passed it about 10 minutes back.

Sheep to the south. Cattle to the north.

I don't know anything about a dead line.

Well, there's nothing complicated about it.

You see, the cow men opened up this territory,

and then the sheep men tried to move in.

Well, we had us quite a debate.

We burned up a lot of powder and a lot of lead,

and we buried a few,

and then finally we drew us a line

across the southeast section of the state.

The sheep stay on one side and the cattle on the other.

There. Look at that.

Ooh, thank you.

May I have that napkin?

Here.

Well, anyway, that little guy there is gonna grow up

to be one of those dumb, miserable critters over there.

If they're so dumb, why does anybody bother with them?

Now tell me that.

Money.

You know, it takes money, capital,

brains, sweat to raise cattle,

but any idiot with a two-bit dog

and a Winchester can raise sheep.

Hmm.

Hup. Whoa.

Hyup!

Mom! Mommy!

Mom!

Oh, Mom!

I missed you something fierce.

I'm so glad you come.

Ooh, let me see you!

Oh, you look good.

You look so good!

You're gonna stay, ain't you, Ma?

Oh, honey--

You're welcome to stay if you like, Mrs. Minick.

Oh, thank you very much.

Let Mama take that.

Look at me.

I must say, I was rather surprised at your coming here.

Thank you.

Well, I want to find something to do, Mr. Minick.

You know I want to make a home for Luther and me.

Mrs. Minick, Luther has a home,

and until such time as you are able to provide for him,

he will remain here.

Now, as to your own plans,

if you intend to live here, well and good.

There are plenty of duties

to perform around the house if you choose.

In that case, I shall give my housekeeper notice.

Well, if that doesn't appeal to you,

there may be a position

clerking at the mercantile company.

The hours are 7:00 in the morning

until 7:00 at night, with a half-hour for lunch.

Salary is $50 a month,

less an agreed sum for your room and board here.

I put your suitcase away.

Want me to help you unpack?

That about covers the prospects, Mrs. Minick.

I, uh, suggest you think it over.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

Well, now tell me,

how do you like living with Grandpa, huh?

It's awful.

Is it?

Well, honey, Grandpa invited Mama to live here, too.

Would you like that?

Oh, no, Ma.

Please take me home. Please.

Oh, Luther! Luther!

Oh, God, baby.

Oh, plea--

Hi, Debbie.

What have you been up to, Jase?

Buying a new saddle.

You know what I mean.

I got a brand-new Parcheesi set.

You fond of Parcheesi, Jase?

There's Parcheesi and backgammon,

Round The World With Nellie Bly...

cribbage.

Maybe you know some two-handed games.

Jase!

Welcome home!

Thank you, Jase.

Well, I didn't expect you back so soon.

Well, uh, something came up.

Good-bye!

Well, not--not bad news, I hope.

Well, it depends on how you look at it.

Thank you very much.

Excuse me, Jase.

Hey, wait a minute. Give me that.

- Oh, no, I can manage, Jase. - No. No.

That won't do at all. Now, come on.

Now, I told you, Jase, I can do it.

Now, you look silly toting that bag in a town

- full of able-bodied men. - I can just manage.

Now gimme. Now, where are we going?

To the stable.

- Say, Ed? - Yes'm.

Is that a hack horse?

Yes'm.

Good. You'll just do fine.

And I'll want him for the rest of the day.

Now, he ain't harness broke, and I got no buggies.

Saddle him up, Ed.

But I ain't got no sidesaddle, Miss Josie.

I told you that before.

I'll be back shortly. You just get him ready.

Oh. Thank you.

Mr. Simpson!

Oh, hi, Josie. Heh.

How are things down in Cheyenne?

Oh, fine, thank you, Mr. Simpson.

I'd like a pair of Levis, please.

Right.

Uh, let me see.

What size is Luther now?

Oh, not for Luther. For me.

Uh, how's that again?

I'd like a pair of Levis for me.

- Pants? - Mm-hmm, pants.

Josie.

Oh, thank you.

See if you can find a pair of boots,

Mr. Simpson, size seven.

Oh, don't have no ladies' boots.

Well, feet are pretty much the same, aren't they?

Well, I never checked, Josie.

I'm a bachelor.

Well, why don't we try, Mr. Simpson, huh?

A boys' size, maybe? Size seven.

Yes, ma'am.

Size seven.

Thanks.

Oh, I almost forgot, Mr. Simpson.

I want one of those blue shirts, too,

36 bust.

Bust?

Oh, d-don't come in busts.

Necks and sleeves, no busts.

What's she up to?

I-I don't know.

What do you think, Mr. Simpson?

Think they fit all right?

Well, I don't think you're exactly

what the manufacturer had in mind.

Uh, don't forget that blue shirt.

No busts. Ain't got a bust in the house.

No busts.

What size you say that was, Josie?

36 bust.

No busts!

Here. Try this.

Thanks.

The Presbyterians hear about this, I'm through.

Josie, what are we trying to prove, anyway?

Huh?

You haven't still got that crazy notion

about cow ranching, have you?

Mr. Simpson, how much do I owe you?

Well, that'll be 11.65.

And, Mr. Simpson, uh, if you don't mind,

I'd like to leave all my things here

and my suitcase,

and I'll pick everything up later, all right?

Thank you very much. Good-bye.

All set, Ed?

Yes'm.

I think I need your help, Ed.

Yes, ma'am.

Heading south?

Now, what in tarnation do you reckon she's up to?

Chickens.

What do you mean chicken?

A chicken is a domesticated bird

grown for its eggs, meat and feathers,

goes back in human history--

Doc, will you? You know what he means.

How you know Josie's in the chicken business?

I'm bound by my oath

to respect the confidence of my patients.

Whoever heard of a chicken ranch

in this part of the country?

Educated guess.

Annabelle come right out and say it was chickens?

Eh, not exactly.

What'd she say?

Well, she kind of made a slip,

and I jumped on it like a duck on a june bug.

I was taking her blood pressure at the time,

and her heart did flip-flops

when she realized she let the cat out of the bag.

She used the word "flock."

Flock?

That's what she said. "Flock."

Now, what you gonna raise in this part of the country

that comes in flocks except chickens?

Geese maybe or ducks?

You sure she said "flock"?

Positive.

Geese come in gaggles.

What's she gonna do,

trail-drive a flock of fricassee hens

south of the railhead every fall?

That ain't funny.

Don't know as I'd cotton

to a chicken ranch in the middle of my range.

Well, it's not your range, it's hers,

all 480 acres of it.

Let her have her chickens.

It's not chickens.

It's not chickens?

Then what--

That ain't what you think, fellas. That's a chicken.

Now, you ought to know better than that, young fella,

walking into a cow-town saloon without no invitation.

She got no education yet.

It's too young for some.

Why, thank you, sir.

Long dry run up from the south.

Good Lord Almighty!

What in the name of the Kingdom of God

do you think you're up to?

Why, sheep. These here are sheep.

You're damn right they're sheep!

Turn 'em around! Get 'em out of here, before--

Oh, we ain't headed that way. We's headed up yonder.

You ain't going nowhere!

You know, I believe this little feller

would be better off on the ground.

Well, just set him down.

He'll find his mammy directly.

I'll wring his scrawny neck!

Back up.

Dog!

Get him! Get him!

Let me up!

Cow fella down yonder don't like sheep critters.

Mostly they don't.

Now get this cur dog off of me before I bust his head.

No offense, boy.

He's a right little mean dog.

What's his name?

Dog. We just call him Dog.

Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

Go on.

Say something nice.

Mrs. Minick, there has never been a woman

hung in the whole history of Arapahoe County.

Now, if you'll get down from there

and let me talk to you, you might not be the first.

Josie, do you hear me?

Now, you get down off that horse!

Josie, you listen to me!

Josie!

Three cheers for the first

female sheep rancher in southern Wyoming!

Hip hip...

Hooray!

- Hooray! - Hooray!

Hooray!

- Hooray! - Hooray!

Hooray!

I smell like a damn sheep already.

And if it hadn't been for you,

we'd have been sensible and hung her.

Can't hang a person for manslaughter.

We'd have found a way.

Now she's your doing, and she's all yours,

her and her stinking sheep

and her crowbait herders, that whole outfit.

Now you get rid of her, or I will.

* Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool? *

* Yes, sir, yes, sir, a whole town full *

And did you see what happened

when you drove those things through town?

Now, nobody likes it,

and nobody's gonna have any sheep around here,

- and I'm telling you that! - Well, I did,

and I don't much care.

I don't care what you say.

They're staying.

No, they're not!

There ain't no question about it.

We should have hung her when we had the chance.

Arch, more brandy?

Yeah.

Maybe she ain't coming.

She'll be here. Don't you worry.

You're one hell of a judge. That's all I got to say.

Not my doing. It's the law.

Ahh! There's ways of looking at the law.

There's only one way to look at this one.

Well, that's the trouble. We ain't got a leg to stand on.

There's no legal status for the dead line.

It's lawful to raise sheep wherever you want to.

If she wants to take us to court,

why, she'll beat us hands down.

You let me pick the jury, and she won't.

We're not about to let you pick the jury.

Crawfishers, every last one of you.

It's a democracy.

What this country needs is a good king.

It ain't gonna get to court, anyway.

Ah, it's just as well. She gets us into court,

Jase will argufy all night long to turn her loose.

If I had my way--

You can't use a club on a woman.

That's all there is about it.

You gotta sweet-talk her out of it.

And that's just what we're gonna do.

Arch...

Oh, I ain't making no promises. Let her in.

Evening, neighbor.

Well, come in. Come in.

Come right on in here, and see all your good friends.

- Yes, sir. There we are. - Hello, Josie.

Matter of fact, your name happened to come up

in the conversation just a little bit ago.

- Well, if it's about my sheep-- - Well, now, there you are.

You see, you put your finger right on it.

Now, what we propose to do is just to sit down

and thrash this thing out like grown-up men and women.

I have no intention of giving up--

Well, now, let's not bash our heads right off the bat

without any preliminaries or anything.

- Am I right, Judge? - Right.

Now, there are ways of talking a thing like this out,

of turning the-- well, the sweet light of reason

on a question over a good drink of--

Uh, would you like some sherry or something?

- What are you havin'? - Brandy.

Yeah, but I got some real nice sherry

- that I think you'd like. - Brandy'll do just fine.

Oh, you taking on like a man, you can drink like one.

Arch.

Fine with me.

Cheers.

Now, Josie, uh, what we want to do is to help you.

Before we get off on the wrong track,

let's understand that. We want to help you.

Help me what?

Get rid of them sheep.

Now, wait a minute, Arch. Wait a minute.

Now, Josie, maybe I didn't make myself

too clear about the dead line and all.

There's no such thing as a dead line.

Now, we done populated an entire corner of a cemetery

with folks who subscribed to that notion.

Arch!

Now paste that in your bonnet, woman.

I'll give you something to paste in yours...

- Oh, hold-- - man!

Now, let's all simmer down.

There's nothing we can't solve with sweet reason, right?

If only the lady will give a little--

Never mind the lady.

Well, that's the first thing you've said

since you come in here I agree with.

Arch, will you shut your big mouth?

You want to step outside?

Now hold on! Shut up, both of you!

Now who are we fightin' here?

Me, and I'm fightin' back.

I've got 480 acres and a flock of sheep,

and I mean to keep both of 'em.

Now give me another brandy.

We're gonna have to send you home by Wells Fargo.

Never mind how I'm gonna get home.

I just came here because I mean to tell you what I plan to do.

Well, what you're gonna do, woman, is listen.

Arch, so help me--

Oh, hear! Hear! Hear! Order in the court.

Josie Minick, you listen to me.

I'm through listening!

You're getting us all in a messy fight!

You understand that?

Now, women are not put together to fight.

Fighting's for men to do, and so is ranching!

Damn it! Shut up, all of you.

Forget I'm a woman!

I'm a human being,

and I can take care of myself and my son

without anybody's charity.

I can think, and I can work,

and I'm not gonna sit at Annabelle Pettijohn's

and wait for some nice man to come and rescue me.

I don't want a man,

and I don't need a man.

I've got myself, and I've got my sheep,

and I'm gonna bring 'em through to spring,

and I'm gonna sell my lambs and my wool,

and I'm gonna double my money,

and nobody--do you get that--

nobody, not a damn one of you,

is gonna get in my way.

Josie, why?

Get out of my way, Jase Meredith.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Smell the nice hot coffee?

Thank you, Annabelle.

Ah, come on, Josie.

Let's up and at 'em.

Here we go.

No!

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh, what is that?

Ooh! Help me.

Oh! Oh. Ooh.

Ooh.

That's all right.

It's perfectly normal.

Ooh.

Well, Jase says you really gave 'em what for last night.

You don't look well.

Put something in your drink, most likely.

Brandy.

Wouldn't put it past 'em.

Well, the sheep are bad enough,

Lord knows, but a woman with sheep!

Woman.

I'm not gonna budge an inch.

Hoo!

Well, guess they haven't told you, then.

Ooh.

What?

Jase and his crew

are down there right now rounding up your sheep.

Mm-hmm.

What?

What?

Annabelle, fetch my pants.

Steady, Josie.

How's that?

Well, I'd hardly say you was the fastest gun alive.

Speed won't matter. I'm countin' on surprise.

Oh, they'll be expecting this.

You put a woman in pants, the rest is bound to follow.

All right, Mr. Simpson.

Let's load her.

I did.

Oh!

Mr. Simpson.

Hey, get them together!

Ho! Ho!

Mooney!

Mooney, get those damn things together.

I never seen cow fellas work so hard 'afore.

Look yonder there.

Boss feller.

I say he makes it.

- Whole dime? - Uh-huh.

You're on.

I thank you.

Mooney!

Well, we're still gathering 'em up.

I can see that.

Heh heh. You may never live this down.

Well, I already come to that conclusion.

Now just get 'em going, will you?

All right, boys, take them over the ridge!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Take them over the ridge.

Go on. Hyup.

You reckon it's about time?

I'd say so.

Dog...

go.

Now get that dog out of there! He'll scatter the sheep!

You know, old Dog knows what he's a-doing.

Get him out of there!

Mooney, get those sheep back there!

Hyah! Hyah!

Hey!

Now call off that fool dog.

Wouldn't make no sense.

We just called him on.

He's confused enough

with all that sashaying out yonder.

Get off my land, all of you!

Now, you listen to me.

You turn that horse around, and head back to Annabelle's,

and climb back in bed where you belong,

and let me handle this.

I said you get off my land,

and you take your men with you, and I mean it.

I got enough troubles without you.

Now, scoot right this minute,

or I'll turn you over my knee and paddle those men's britches.

Hey, boss!

What's the story?

Where are we going?

I'll get back to you in a minute.

Ohh!

Might--Might move out of range.

I mean it, Jase Meredith.

Get off my land.

What in the Devil do you think you're doing?

Don't you get off that horse.

Josie, now, you're gonna hurt someone!

Put that thing away!

You can take your men and your horses

and your ideas about what a woman can and can't do,

and you get off my land!

Josie, I am only trying to look--

Out!

I am only trying to look after your investment.

Now, if I don't move these crazy sheep out of here,

somebody else is gonna move in with clubs.

Out.

Bratsch,

Klugg...

...don't just sit there.

Gather up my sheep.

You'd hardly think she could shoot that thing.

Oh, that woman gets crazy every so often.

Yeah. They're prisoners of their juices.

Well, if I ever have anything to do with that outfit again,

you got permission to bust me in the nose.

- Boss. - Hmm?

Wait here.

You got her outvoted by some.

I come prepared is all.

You give me some time, Arch, I--

No, you had all the time that you're gonna get.

Now just move out of the road.

Look, let me get her up here.

You talk to her direct. I'm sure she'll understand.

No. I don't palaver with Injuns or women.

They either get out of the road, or they get stomped on.

Now, that's the beginning, the middle,

and the end of this conversation.

There ain't gonna be a sheep alive

in that hollow by nightfall. I guarantee you that.

Now go on back, and tell your lady what I said.

He's not bluffing.

Get out of the line of fire, all of you.

- Well, what about you? - Never mind.

I'm going down and try to talk some sense into her.

I never figured I'd be going to war with no mutton militia.

Well, nobody's asking you to, Mooney.

I just volunteered.

I'm staying with Jase.

I stink like a sheep. Might as well join 'em.

- Me, too! - What do you say?

- You bet! - Count on me!

All right. Well, let's get on down

to the house and make a line. Come on.

All right, spread out, and find some cover.

You mind telling me what the hell's going on?

We took a vote.

We decided there won't be any clubbing today

or any day, for that matter.

Now, Arch, if you want to take your army

back to the Stockman's, I'll buy you all a beer.

Now, do you know what you just said, Jase Meredith?

Now, if you want to go to shooting,

you just start. We'll be glad to oblige.

All right, Jase, we'll wait...

right on that hill.

Hah!

I thought I told you to--

You see those men up on that hill?

You see the clubs they're carrying?

Now, do you still want to go it alone?

You still want to take

man-sized strides in them britches?

Now get down in the house.

Josie.

I'm sorry I said that.

You're thinking, "What will happen

if Wyoming is admitted as the only state in the Union

which allows its ladies to vote?"

You're thinking, no doubt, "What will the ladies

of the other 43 great sovereign states

have to say about that?"

You can see in your mind's eye, perhaps,

the suffragette marches,

the militant female demonstrations.

Gentlemen, we're not going to allow

any of those things to happen,

because our ladies will give up their franchise voluntarily.

That's right, gentlemen.

If this distinguished body, in its considered judgment,

decrees that they must as a condition for statehood,

the women of Wyoming Territory

will give up their rights to vote.

Because, gentlemen, the pioneer woman

stands beside her man,

building together an edifice

upon which fair Columbia can look with pride.

Gentlemen, I tell you with all my heart--

Excuse me, Mr. Lord.

An urgent message for you from-- Where is it?

Rapa--Rapa--

- Hoe. - Huh?

Hoe. Arapahoe.

Three nights they've been sitting up there now.

The trouble with that man is you back him into a corner,

he's gonna sure as hell do some crazy fool thing.

Yeah.

If it was anybody but Arch, anybody but her...

I, uh, don't usually hand out free advice, but--

No, I'm way ahead of you, Mooney.

Hyah.

Cow fella up yonder

fitting himself into a wet sweat.

Cow fellers tend to.

He'll cool off in time.

Hah!

What does that mean?

Only one way to cool a cow fella off.

Old John Tewksbury knew how.

For a fact, he did.

John who?

Tewksbury, down in Arizona.

What's the score so far?

Well, it seems to me it's 18 Grahams and 4 Tewksburys.

Grahams is the cow fellas.

- Proud. - Real proud.

- Tall in the saddle. - Easy to hit.

You mean 18...

Cooled off.

Dead?

Yep, 18 and 4,

and I can't recollect if that's countin'

the two that went down at the siege.

- Them two at the well. - Fetchin' water.

Went down twixt the cow fellas and the sheep fellas.

Never could figure out

if they was kinfolk come to join in the fight

or just strangers passing through.

Oh, that's awful.

Yes, ma'am, it surely was.

Them being dead that way,

never could figure out who'd have to bury 'em.

18 and 4 and 2 strangers.

That's the way it'll likely be scored.

You see, old John Tewksbury

and his kinfolk was surrounded by--

It's not going to happen here!

You don't think so?

Hardly any strangers pass through here much anyhow.

There's not gonna be any killing,

and that's all there is about it.

I won't have it.

You don't want no killing, ma'am?

Well, what for you truck sheep critters into cow country for?

Would you like some coffee?

No, thanks.

Where are you going?

You follow the coulees south to Arch's fence line,

you climb up the hill, and you get on the road to town.

- I'm not leaving-- - And no back talk.

You're going to Annabelle's,

and you're gonna stay there

till all the feathers are settled

and the gun smoke's blown away.

There's not gonna be any gun smoke, Jase.

- Oh? - Because I'm going to give up.

I'm gonna wave the white flag

or whatever it is that you do.

Oh, are you? And then what?

Are we gonna make Arch Ogden king?

We gonna call him "Your Majesty"

and give him everything he wants?

Well, you can, but I'm not. I'm staying right here.

I won't have men

shooting holes in each other because of me.

Huh?

And I'm the one who started all this trouble,

- and I've got to put a stop-- - Trouble? What trouble?

Oh, please don't make jokes, Jase.

All right, Josie, no jokes.

I won't joke with you, and you won't kid me about quitting.

We got a tiger by the tail, and we're not gonna let him go.

I won't leave you out here

with the--the feathers and the gun smoke.

Women are not put together to fight.

There must be something I can do, Jase.

What can I do?

There is something.

If you'd have sat down, all of you,

and put your chins in your hands

and wracked your ignorant brains for six consecutive weeks,

you couldn't have come up with a more perfect,

tailor-made, custom-built, foolproof way

to hold off statehood for this miserable piece of wilderness

for the next 4,000 years.

'Course, it's not a complete disaster yet.

We've only got a little ground

to get back to be where we were when Columbus landed.

We weren't trying to offend the ladies, Charlie. We only--

Who said anything about offending 'em?

You didn't offend the ladies, Fonse.

You declared war on 'em!

That's what you did.

You declared war on 'em.

Look!

Go on! Look!

Three cheers for Josie Minick! That--

There he is.

Get him!

Get down.

Get right down off that horse, Mr. Ogden.

How do you feel now with your guns and your clubs

and your army of thugs riding down there

on that helpless woman out in the coulees?

Hail the conquering hero.

You got one minute, Charlie, and that's all.

You're gonna give me 20 years

if you lay a finger on that girl out there,

and if there's any bodily harm done or death,

you're gonna give me all you've got left

at the end of a rope.

You're taking this kind of personal, ain't you?

Personal? Hell!

This is political.

What?

You know perfectly well the whole future

of this territory just happens to be hanging

on what happens to Josie out there in the coulees.

If the ladies walk out on us, Arch,

we don't have a chance in a thousand at statehood,

and you know it.

Sure, I know it,

and you know what I say?

The hell with it.

That's what you say?

So be it. Now I'll tell you what I say,

and you better pay attention to this.

Either you plaster the seat of those fat pants of yours

in your saddle and hightail it out there to that hollow

and call off your dogs,

or I'm gonna hit you with so many charges,

it'll take 127 lawyers to read 'em.

Oh, we'll see about that.

We damn well will see about it.

You got an hour, Arch.

You better make use of it.

Doc, will you?

United we stand and divided we fall.

Are we gonna let Josie Minick down?

Are we gonna-- There's Josie!

Why, it's Josie!

- Josie! - Josie!

Put me down!

Put me down, please!

Congratulations.

We want Josie!

We want Josie!

- Speech! Speech! - Yeah, Josie!

Listen to me, everybody!

- Josie! - The men, too!

Listen!

I don't want to talk about women's rights.

I don't even want to talk about sheep or the constitution

or statehood or any of those things.

I just want to talk about Jase Meredith and Mooney

and all those other men out there.

Do you know what they're doing?

They're looking into guns on those hills,

ready to get killed because of me and my sheep.

And I'm gonna tell you something, Arch Ogden.

You're through running things around here.

You're not gonna run me or Jase Meredith or anybody else!

Do you understand that?

And if you so much as lay a hand on him,

I swear to God I'll--

Let go of me!

I want to talk to the men in this town.

I'm gonna say some things

you ladies might not like to hear,

so I invite you all to leave right now.

We got a war on our hands!

A war!

This was cow country when we come here,

it is now,

and it's always gonna be.

That's a lie!

Ain't nothing gonna change that,

least of all no woman!

- Now is the time to stand... - You get those. Whoop!

and join me in a holy crusade!

I'm sorry.

We're gonna march out in a body to that coulee

and end this sheep business once and for all.

Oh, no, you're not!

Ain't no room in this town for sheep

or for no woman rancher out in the coulees.

And there ain't a red-blooded, 100% patriotic man...

- Come on. - that's gonna stand by

and see either one of them things happen.

Now stand up!

Be counted!

You're either with me, or...

you're against me.

Now, how many of you men

are gonna give me a resounding vote of supp--

The pioneer woman stands beside her man.

You're in charge.

But, Arch--

Shut up. I'm through talking.

Hah! Hah!

Jase!

Water!

The barn! Water!

Where's the water?

The dang pump won't work!

The dang pump won't work and the barns are burning.

Don't that beat all?

Let's give the boss a hand!

Leave him be!

It's his fight.

Gets a little slick on them sheep critters.

Arch?

Arch?

Arch?

I'm still on the boss man.

Dime?

Dime.

You're on.

Jase?

Jase?

Some of you men carry this ram back up on his hill.

We got ourselves a winner, Bratsch.

Mm, I reckon.

Let's get him into the house.

Doc, let us out!

Let us out!

Let us out!

Let us out!

Get the Sheriff!

- Where have you been? - Get us out of here!

There's Charlie.

Charlie, get us out of here.

It's daybreak.

Huh?

The girls.

Hurry up!

Yes, sir.

What happened?

Boss man and cow fella had a fracas.

Barn went that-a-way.

Where's Jase?

Stove up considerable.

Carried him in yonder.

Jase.

Morning, Josie. Have some breakfast.

Jase, are you all right?

Oh, I'm fine.

Oh, thank God.

The barn's not so good, though.

I don't care about the barn.

Oh, Jase, I told you we should have given up.

Mm.

I've got to get rid of those sheep out there.

Charlie Lord told me so in no uncertain terms.

Charlie Lord?

Yes.

Jase, you don't know it, but I started a riot last night,

and I spent the night in jail.

You what?

Yes.

Men and women all over the territory

are fighting because of me,

and you know where they're fighting?

Where?

In their bedrooms.

- Bedrooms? - Yes!

Boss, you better get out here.

They're coming.

Jase.

You know something, Josie Minick?

You're worse than that Greek gal

that caused all the fighting twixt her folks and the Trojans.

That ain't what I come to say, howsomever.

What did you come to say, Arch?

Now, I'll do my business with the lady, Jase.

You gonna get rid of them sheep?

- I thought that-- - Now, wait a minute.

Jase, you wanna take up where we left off last night?

That's fine with me. You get down

off of that horse, and we'll go at it.

You know something, Jase Meredith?

You're a worse calamity than these damn sheep.

For a plug nickel--

Anytime, Arch.

Arch, get on with it!

We're gonna settle this sheep business,

Mrs. Minick, right here and now.

I'm listening, Mr. Ogden.

Sheep and cows purely don't get along.

Anybody with brains someplace other than their--

Arch, never mind that.

Most folks understand that fact of nature.

Sheep and cows don't mix.

You can have one or the other, but you can't have both,

so either we all get rid of our cattle,

or you...

consider...

selling off your sheep.

I'll pay you for the flock and for the wool

and for the spring lamb crop, too.

I'll rebuild your barn...

and I'll sell you first-rate breeding cows

and bulls at rock-bottom prices

so you can get into the cattle business

alongside the rest of us.

You mean that?

Oh, I said it once.

I ain't gonna say it again.

I ain't telling you, Mrs. Minick.

I'm asking you,

not as a woman,

man to man,

rancher to rancher,

strictly business.

She'll take your proposition, Arch.

All right, let's go.

Jase.

Got a piece of advice for you, Columbine.

You don't want to get too independent.

Some is good.

Too much is miserable.

You can only go so far, because first thing you know...

There's a knock on the door,

and you want to be listening, Columbine.

You sure do.

Come in.

You're beautiful.

You're just beautiful.

Well, Jenny McCardle said to buy a $40 corset,

new French bonnet, a new dress, join 46 churches.

She said I'd have me a man by snow time.

Who needs 46 churches, huh?

- Oh, put me down. - Huh?

I forgot something.

Now I'm ready, Mr. Meredith.

Oh!

Where are we going?

Steaks are on over at my place,

and you may never get back alive.

* I know it seems as though

* My dreams will fade

* Like the morning dew

* But wait till tomorrow

* Tomorrow

* I'll make them all come true