Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,184 --> 00:00:02,796
Okay, we still need wine,
cheese, flowers...
2
00:00:02,804 --> 00:00:04,134
Oh, we have to stop by the bakery.
3
00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:05,604
Yeah, and we need a hostess gift
4
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,406
for Longinus' Friendsgiving party.
5
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,708
You know, she does not look
kindly on an empty-handed guest.
6
00:00:10,185 --> 00:00:11,543
- It's too much.
- I know.
7
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,145
But what do you expect from
somebody who changed their name
8
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,414
from Larry Jones to
Longinus St. Germaine?
9
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,015
No, I mean this list.
10
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,517
Okay, we're only making it
to my dad's by 4:00
11
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,652
if we blow off the hostess
formerly known as Larry.
12
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,855
No! His party's my favorite
thing about Thanksgiving!
13
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:23,956
Like, when we all go around the table
14
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,424
and say one thing we're thankful
for not wearing this year.
15
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:27,909
No. No, I'm sorry. Sorry.
16
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,178
Even skipping the party,
we're barely gonna make it in time.
17
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,380
Alright. Here. Let's divvy these up
and meet back here.
18
00:00:32,482 --> 00:00:33,515
Okay, fine.
19
00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:34,983
Um...
20
00:00:35,085 --> 00:00:36,585
- Oh, hi, Mitch!
- Oh! Hi, Ronaldo.
21
00:00:36,653 --> 00:00:38,720
What... Let me guess.
Those are for Longinus?
22
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:41,489
Oh, I would never get something
this shabby for that judgy queen.
23
00:00:41,558 --> 00:00:43,658
- No, my mom is in the hospital.
- Oh, my God.
24
00:00:43,727 --> 00:00:45,159
Will I see you guys at the party?
25
00:00:45,228 --> 00:00:46,427
Oh, unfortunately no.
26
00:00:46,496 --> 00:00:48,563
Uh, this day has turned into
something of a nightmare.
27
00:00:48,665 --> 00:00:49,731
Oh. Where's Cam?
28
00:00:49,933 --> 00:00:50,965
We just split up.
29
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,266
We just needed so many different things,
30
00:00:52,369 --> 00:00:53,434
it was easier to separate.
31
00:00:53,503 --> 00:00:54,936
So, anyway, happy Thanksgiving.
32
00:00:55,004 --> 00:00:56,337
Tell everyone I said hi.
33
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:01,209
Super sad news.
34
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,044
Guess who just broke up.
35
00:01:03,553 --> 00:01:05,279
Hint... you owe me 50 bucks.
36
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:21,696
Luke, stop eating all the marshmallows.
37
00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:23,264
Those yams need all the
help that they can get.
38
00:01:23,366 --> 00:01:24,999
Alex, how's the stuffing?
39
00:01:25,101 --> 00:01:26,767
You tell me.
40
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:29,070
Why do we even have this stupid holiday?
41
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,339
Mom and Dad have been incredible...
42
00:01:31,441 --> 00:01:33,608
letting me, Dylan,
and the twins live with them,
43
00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:36,644
helping with midnight feedings,
bedtime stories.
44
00:01:36,746 --> 00:01:39,146
Dylan loves it when my
dad does the voices.
45
00:01:39,248 --> 00:01:40,781
So, I'm giving my mom a break
46
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:42,116
from cooking Thanksgiving dinner.
47
00:01:42,218 --> 00:01:43,417
I wanted to do something special
48
00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:46,153
to thank them for being there for me.
49
00:01:46,255 --> 00:01:49,023
I'm sorry. I've just, um...
50
00:01:49,125 --> 00:01:52,059
I've become such a beautiful person.
51
00:01:53,563 --> 00:01:55,029
Happy Thanksgiving, Jay.
52
00:01:55,131 --> 00:01:56,998
Oh, I can slide over if you
want to watch this with me.
53
00:01:57,100 --> 00:02:00,167
Nah. I never saw the point
of a parade without tanks.
54
00:02:00,269 --> 00:02:01,736
I'm gonna take the plane out for a spin.
55
00:02:01,838 --> 00:02:02,903
You want to come with?
56
00:02:03,006 --> 00:02:04,238
Me?
57
00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:06,974
Go... fly?
58
00:02:07,076 --> 00:02:09,577
I played it cool,
but I was pretty jazzed.
59
00:02:11,314 --> 00:02:13,180
It's been 10 years since Jay asked me
60
00:02:13,282 --> 00:02:17,251
to go model-plane flying with him,
and I was, uh...
61
00:02:17,353 --> 00:02:19,053
I was eager to replace that memory
62
00:02:19,155 --> 00:02:21,322
with a... a be... a better one.
63
00:02:21,424 --> 00:02:23,658
Okay, let's do it!
64
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:24,759
Whoo!
65
00:02:31,865 --> 00:02:32,900
Where are you guys going?
66
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,468
Oh, nowhere special.
67
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:37,104
Let's just say that Jay's asked
me to join his mile high club.
68
00:02:37,206 --> 00:02:38,239
Let's not say that.
69
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,240
Cool!
70
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:40,608
You know, years ago, I almost joined
71
00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:43,411
the female-dominated world
of flight attendants.
72
00:02:43,513 --> 00:02:45,479
My fellow nurses still
needle me about it.
73
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:47,414
Can I come?
74
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,549
Uh, actually,
Jay's pretty particular about...
75
00:02:48,651 --> 00:02:50,284
Sure, why not?
76
00:02:50,386 --> 00:02:51,819
Looks like we're having a threesome!
77
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,654
You're embarrassing yourself.
78
00:02:56,159 --> 00:02:58,292
The turkey is still
frozen in the middle!
79
00:02:58,394 --> 00:03:00,628
Hot on the outside,
cold on the inside...
80
00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:02,396
reminds me of a certain someone.
81
00:03:02,498 --> 00:03:04,331
- Please don't ask.
- Sure.
82
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,966
Ugh, this pie filling is so sour.
83
00:03:06,331 --> 00:03:07,334
Yeah, it's devastating
84
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,703
when you expect something to be sweet
85
00:03:08,805 --> 00:03:12,339
but ends up being intense
psychosexual torture.
86
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,541
I don't want to talk about it.
87
00:03:13,643 --> 00:03:15,009
- Cool, cool.
- Don't worry.
88
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:18,045
Luke's famous Jell-O mold is
here to save your sorry butts.
89
00:03:19,015 --> 00:03:20,347
Aah!
90
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,783
I can't have the one
nice thing I've done
91
00:03:22,885 --> 00:03:24,151
for Mom and Dad be a disaster!
92
00:03:24,253 --> 00:03:26,287
Alex, um, call you please call
that chef that you're dating?
93
00:03:26,389 --> 00:03:27,988
That pompous weirdo?
94
00:03:28,091 --> 00:03:30,224
I purposely broke up with
him before the holidays.
95
00:03:30,326 --> 00:03:33,294
If I call him now, I will be
stuck with him until New Year's.
96
00:03:33,396 --> 00:03:34,462
There's a school of thought
97
00:03:34,564 --> 00:03:36,564
it can even stretch
out to Valentine's Day.
98
00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:38,265
Once you pass Thanksgiving,
it's the Wild West.
99
00:03:38,905 --> 00:03:41,135
Okay! Her name is Jessica.
100
00:03:41,237 --> 00:03:42,870
We met during a Santa Ana wind,
101
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,572
and we all know what
Raymond Chandler said...
102
00:03:44,674 --> 00:03:45,806
So no need to repeat it.
103
00:03:45,908 --> 00:03:48,642
Alex, please.
How weird can your chef be?
104
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,512
I don't know if it's 'cause he's a chef
105
00:03:51,614 --> 00:03:52,880
and they can be controlling,
106
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:55,916
and I know there's lots of different
"love languages,"
107
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,151
but...
108
00:03:57,253 --> 00:03:59,019
he puppets me.
109
00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:02,957
You want them to be super
thin and uniform, like this.
110
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,527
You're tearing up from the onions.
111
00:04:08,965 --> 00:04:10,297
Mnh? Unh?
112
00:04:10,399 --> 00:04:11,565
And blow.
113
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,367
You know, maybe I'll just go
to the bathroom and do this.
114
00:04:13,469 --> 00:04:15,035
Okay. Sure. Let's go.
115
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,908
Oh, Joe! You're doing place cards?
116
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,710
Doesn't Manny usually
take care of seating?
117
00:04:22,812 --> 00:04:24,612
He's "going through something."
118
00:04:24,714 --> 00:04:25,846
- Ah.
- I'm sure
119
00:04:25,948 --> 00:04:27,948
we'll hear a spoken word
about it soon enough.
120
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:30,718
You really are turning into
a 4-foot version of my dad.
121
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:31,852
Our dad.
122
00:04:31,954 --> 00:04:34,155
That will never not be weird.
123
00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:37,224
Gloria, you do laundry?
124
00:04:37,326 --> 00:04:39,827
Or are you hiding a pregnancy?
125
00:04:39,929 --> 00:04:41,395
No. The housekeeper quit.
126
00:04:41,497 --> 00:04:42,668
Ohh!
127
00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:47,368
I really love working for Phil
full-time for very little money,
128
00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:50,070
but I didn't realize how
hard it was going to be
129
00:04:50,173 --> 00:04:51,539
balancing everything.
130
00:04:51,641 --> 00:04:53,908
I know. That's why I love not working.
131
00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:56,744
Finally, enough time
to get everything done.
132
00:04:56,846 --> 00:04:58,145
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
133
00:04:58,247 --> 00:05:00,948
You don't miss facing new challenges,
134
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,850
the fire of competition,
135
00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:05,519
that sense of accomplishment?
136
00:05:06,422 --> 00:05:07,521
No. No.
137
00:05:07,623 --> 00:05:10,257
I mean, of course,
I worried I was the type of person
138
00:05:10,359 --> 00:05:13,194
who needed to be busy all the time,
but it's like a drug...
139
00:05:13,296 --> 00:05:15,830
After a couple of weeks of withdrawal,
140
00:05:15,932 --> 00:05:18,966
I am finally comfortable doing nothing.
141
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,568
Hmm.
142
00:05:27,548 --> 00:05:28,652
Oh, what kind of pie did you get,
143
00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:30,640
pun'kin, pee-can, sweet pataytuh?
144
00:05:30,709 --> 00:05:31,908
Flourless chocolate cake.
145
00:05:31,977 --> 00:05:33,309
Let's see you try and country that up.
146
00:05:33,608 --> 00:05:34,677
Oh. My phone's in my pocket.
147
00:05:34,779 --> 00:05:36,045
Here, would you grab it? I can't get it.
148
00:05:36,114 --> 00:05:37,347
Yep. Alright.
149
00:05:37,415 --> 00:05:39,282
- Who is it?
- Oh, it's from Jotham.
150
00:05:39,351 --> 00:05:41,951
"Just heard. I'm so sorry.
How are you doing?"
151
00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:43,620
- What's that about?
- I have no idea.
152
00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:44,887
Oh, L'Michael.
153
00:05:44,956 --> 00:05:46,355
"Sending all my love, Camembert.
154
00:05:46,424 --> 00:05:47,433
- Call me."
- What?
155
00:05:48,295 --> 00:05:49,225
Artemis.
156
00:05:49,243 --> 00:05:51,310
"Ronaldo told me about you and Mitchell.
157
00:05:51,379 --> 00:05:53,279
"Broken-heart emoji, tear emoji,
158
00:05:53,381 --> 00:05:54,880
Tammy Faye Bakker crying GIF."
159
00:05:54,949 --> 00:05:56,649
What did Ronaldo tell him?
160
00:05:56,718 --> 00:06:00,298
No clue. I-I just saw him here,
and he asked where you were,
161
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:02,221
and I told him that we
split up to shop and that...
162
00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:04,656
Oh, my God.
He thinks we actually split up.
163
00:06:04,758 --> 00:06:06,725
Oh, and it's gone viral.
164
00:06:06,794 --> 00:06:08,727
Well, there are two things
a gay can't sit on...
165
00:06:08,796 --> 00:06:11,063
a plastic patio chair and
a juicy bit of gossip.
166
00:06:11,131 --> 00:06:12,431
Well, it's nice to see
167
00:06:12,499 --> 00:06:14,124
how supportive our friends are being.
168
00:06:14,159 --> 00:06:16,735
Yeah. It's nice how quickly
they reached out to...
169
00:06:16,787 --> 00:06:17,792
to you.
170
00:06:17,821 --> 00:06:19,054
I got nothing.
171
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,089
It's like it's mocking me.
172
00:06:21,158 --> 00:06:23,272
I-I'm sure the texts were
meant for both of us.
173
00:06:23,307 --> 00:06:24,526
That's not how it works, okay?
174
00:06:24,594 --> 00:06:26,040
They're not thanking us for brunch.
175
00:06:26,075 --> 00:06:27,228
We're getting a divorce!
176
00:06:27,330 --> 00:06:28,896
Why is no one calling me?!
177
00:06:28,965 --> 00:06:30,498
Well, maybe because
they think you're the...
178
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,266
the stronger, less emotional one.
179
00:06:32,335 --> 00:06:34,304
That's crazy. Just because I'm strong
180
00:06:34,339 --> 00:06:35,937
doesn't mean I don't need my
friends at a time like this!
181
00:06:36,039 --> 00:06:37,138
A time like what?
182
00:06:37,173 --> 00:06:39,840
Y-You realizing this isn't
actually happening, right?
183
00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,075
Oh, come on. If the shoe
184
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,910
was on the other foot,
you would be freaking out.
185
00:06:42,979 --> 00:06:44,812
Yes... which is why
I'm getting all the texts.
186
00:06:44,881 --> 00:06:46,447
Okay, well, here.
187
00:06:46,516 --> 00:06:48,282
Ohh, from Steven and Stefan in Capri.
188
00:06:48,351 --> 00:06:51,018
Oh. Text back, uh, "Do not fly home.
189
00:06:51,087 --> 00:06:52,092
I'm doing okay."
190
00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,788
I thought this wasn't really happening!
191
00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:00,194
Barrel roll into an S-turn...
192
00:07:00,863 --> 00:07:03,029
and a little thing I
call Pritchett-Switch-It.
193
00:07:04,099 --> 00:07:05,465
That just looks like a right-hand turn.
194
00:07:05,534 --> 00:07:06,967
It would to an amateur.
195
00:07:07,069 --> 00:07:08,435
You're an artist, Jay.
196
00:07:08,504 --> 00:07:09,603
The sky's your canvas.
197
00:07:09,671 --> 00:07:10,704
Oh, should we do the hoop?
198
00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:11,938
Great idea.
199
00:07:12,007 --> 00:07:14,975
Hey, champ, take this out to the middle
of the field and hold it up.
200
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,243
Awesome!
201
00:07:18,163 --> 00:07:19,262
Guess it's "champ's" turn.
202
00:07:19,331 --> 00:07:21,965
Are... Are we sure champ doesn't need
to see how it's done properly first?
203
00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:23,299
I mean, it's not just standing there.
204
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,168
Dylan, just stand there!
205
00:07:31,342 --> 00:07:32,348
Yes!
206
00:07:32,377 --> 00:07:34,744
What a wonderful shared experience!
207
00:07:34,846 --> 00:07:36,045
Now, stay out there.
208
00:07:36,147 --> 00:07:37,380
We'll do it again.
209
00:07:37,948 --> 00:07:40,115
Kid's a natural. He didn't even flinch.
210
00:07:40,184 --> 00:07:43,085
Bravery or a sluggish brain...
guess we'll never know.
211
00:07:44,488 --> 00:07:45,554
Sorry.
212
00:07:45,623 --> 00:07:46,989
Just, uh, I'm... I'm a little annoyed
213
00:07:47,057 --> 00:07:50,159
that Dylan's horning in on our thing.
214
00:07:50,227 --> 00:07:51,894
Hey, you know what,
my hands are cramping up.
215
00:07:51,996 --> 00:07:53,028
You want to take over for me here?
216
00:07:53,087 --> 00:07:54,089
- Really?
- Yeah.
217
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,230
Thanks.
218
00:07:55,299 --> 00:07:57,633
Listen, i-is it possible
that you're angry at Dylan
219
00:07:57,735 --> 00:07:59,501
for something more than today?
220
00:07:59,570 --> 00:08:01,737
Well, he did take
the last waffle this morning.
221
00:08:01,839 --> 00:08:05,273
I think it's more about...
he took your firstborn.
222
00:08:05,342 --> 00:08:07,442
Now, I've been there.
It's only natural, you know.
223
00:08:07,511 --> 00:08:11,012
Us dads, we're very protective
of our daughters, but, uh...
224
00:08:11,081 --> 00:08:13,081
In fact, you may get
a very strong impulse
225
00:08:13,183 --> 00:08:14,549
to fly that plane right into the guy,
226
00:08:14,651 --> 00:08:15,750
but don't do it.
227
00:08:15,752 --> 00:08:17,552
What? I-I would...
I would never hurt Dylan.
228
00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:19,187
Why would you even think
I'd have that impulse?
229
00:08:19,255 --> 00:08:20,922
I don't know. I thought...
230
00:08:21,024 --> 00:08:22,490
you know, the way
you were looking at him...
231
00:08:22,592 --> 00:08:23,858
Wait.
232
00:08:23,927 --> 00:08:25,860
Is that what you were
thinking 10 years ago?
233
00:08:25,962 --> 00:08:28,129
A-All this time,
I thought it was my fault!
234
00:08:28,198 --> 00:08:29,931
I-I moved my head at the last second.
235
00:08:29,999 --> 00:08:31,665
But you hit me on purpose!
236
00:08:31,684 --> 00:08:33,217
Don't be ridiculous! I just...
237
00:08:33,286 --> 00:08:34,652
You just what, Jay?
238
00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:36,987
Thought it'd be fun to
fly a plane into my face?
239
00:08:37,056 --> 00:08:39,323
What kind of monster does
that to another human be...
240
00:08:42,528 --> 00:08:44,795
Aw, no.
241
00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:50,367
Look at this.
242
00:08:53,839 --> 00:08:55,572
Okay, I think it's good for now.
243
00:08:55,674 --> 00:08:58,008
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You need to enjoy your "me" time.
244
00:08:58,110 --> 00:09:02,212
Yeah. Yesterday,
I had three open houses.
245
00:09:02,230 --> 00:09:04,097
I was running around all day,
246
00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:05,999
solving problems, creating value...
247
00:09:06,101 --> 00:09:08,549
Ay, it was exhausting.
248
00:09:08,584 --> 00:09:09,936
Yeah. Don't miss that.
249
00:09:10,038 --> 00:09:11,097
Mm-hmm.
250
00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:14,708
- Oh, and one of the houses was filthy!
- Oh.
251
00:09:14,776 --> 00:09:16,876
All the windows needed to be washed.
252
00:09:16,979 --> 00:09:18,044
- Oh.
- Euggh!
253
00:09:18,146 --> 00:09:19,846
But I am one to talk.
254
00:09:27,772 --> 00:09:30,206
Follow my instructions,
and we can save this meal.
255
00:09:30,275 --> 00:09:31,507
- Who are you?
- Manny.
256
00:09:31,609 --> 00:09:34,343
Wrong. In this kitchen,
you don't have a name. Stir.
257
00:09:34,345 --> 00:09:35,411
Well, this is a fun energy.
258
00:09:35,513 --> 00:09:36,712
Do you happen to have a cousin
259
00:09:36,781 --> 00:09:38,681
partial to Western skirts
and terrifying mood swings?
260
00:09:38,749 --> 00:09:40,149
We need him. Just do it.
261
00:09:40,251 --> 00:09:41,717
Those carrots are a mess.
262
00:09:41,786 --> 00:09:43,752
- It's like this.
- Wait, what...
263
00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:44,760
Oh, man.
264
00:09:44,789 --> 00:09:45,888
You really know what you want.
265
00:09:45,957 --> 00:09:47,022
I feel so safe.
266
00:09:48,526 --> 00:09:49,692
That needs more salt.
267
00:09:49,794 --> 00:09:50,826
That needs more cream.
268
00:09:50,928 --> 00:09:53,362
And, Alex,
I have a souffl� in that oven
269
00:09:53,464 --> 00:09:54,763
valiantly trying to rise.
270
00:09:54,832 --> 00:09:56,865
Would you mind not
pounding those walnuts
271
00:09:56,934 --> 00:09:59,568
like you're Quasimodo
just going at his bell?
272
00:09:59,636 --> 00:10:01,737
You know what, Neil? I don't know how...
273
00:10:01,839 --> 00:10:03,405
Are these too hot?
274
00:10:07,177 --> 00:10:09,544
Claire? Why are you washing our windows?
275
00:10:09,646 --> 00:10:10,712
I don't know.
276
00:10:10,747 --> 00:10:13,748
They were really dirty,
and your mom found a pole.
277
00:10:13,817 --> 00:10:15,417
You know, funny coincidence...
278
00:10:15,485 --> 00:10:17,318
last week, I was offered the top job
279
00:10:17,387 --> 00:10:18,653
at a company that makes poles.
280
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,722
Yeah, I'm going through something, too.
281
00:10:20,824 --> 00:10:22,657
Anyway, I turned the job down,
282
00:10:22,759 --> 00:10:24,725
but I think I'm reconsidering it.
283
00:10:24,794 --> 00:10:26,260
Her name is Jessica.
284
00:10:26,329 --> 00:10:29,330
I know that poles aren't
as sexy as closets.
285
00:10:29,399 --> 00:10:31,866
But people really seem to like them,
286
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:34,468
and they are famously recession-proof.
287
00:10:34,537 --> 00:10:36,270
Oh, God.
I think I made a terrible mistake.
288
00:10:36,339 --> 00:10:38,840
I got to call those people and
get that job before it goes away.
289
00:10:38,908 --> 00:10:39,941
Because...
290
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,342
Don't do it, Claire! It's beneath you!
291
00:10:41,444 --> 00:10:43,444
Whoa! Manny, show some respect!
292
00:10:43,463 --> 00:10:44,628
If it weren't for poles,
293
00:10:44,697 --> 00:10:46,330
you would be pledging
allegiance to a floor mat!
294
00:10:46,399 --> 00:10:47,631
- Now, give me my phone!
- No!
295
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:49,500
You can't take a job on the rebound.
296
00:10:49,569 --> 00:10:50,868
It'll feel good for a minute,
297
00:10:50,937 --> 00:10:54,438
but then you're plummeting down
a K-hole of paranoia and regret.
298
00:10:54,507 --> 00:10:57,173
Huh. How was your week?
299
00:10:57,242 --> 00:10:59,809
Fine. I'll tell you why
I'm wearing a turtleneck.
300
00:10:59,878 --> 00:11:01,111
After Sherry dumped me,
301
00:11:01,179 --> 00:11:03,046
I dated the first girl
who would have me...
302
00:11:03,115 --> 00:11:06,349
ironically, the leading
rebounder on our basketball team.
303
00:11:06,418 --> 00:11:08,184
That's where she hit me
with her mouth guard.
304
00:11:08,253 --> 00:11:09,419
I've tried to leave her,
305
00:11:09,488 --> 00:11:11,788
but she just palms my head,
and I run in place.
306
00:11:11,857 --> 00:11:13,623
Well, I'm sorry this is happening
to you, Manny,
307
00:11:13,725 --> 00:11:14,958
but what does this have to do with...
308
00:11:15,027 --> 00:11:17,193
She's the pole company, Claire.
309
00:11:17,562 --> 00:11:18,661
Learn from my mistake...
310
00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:20,697
unless you want a
compromising Polaroid of you
311
00:11:20,732 --> 00:11:22,799
hung up very high in
the women's locker room.
312
00:11:22,867 --> 00:11:24,767
I might need to borrow
that ladder later.
313
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,559
- Claire!
- Hmm?
314
00:11:33,628 --> 00:11:35,561
Do you want to help me shop online later
315
00:11:35,663 --> 00:11:37,530
for some power suits?
316
00:11:37,598 --> 00:11:40,633
Oh, God, I miss
wearing comfortable clothes
317
00:11:40,735 --> 00:11:42,301
all the time, like you do.
318
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:44,203
Yep. It sounds like a lot of fun.
319
00:11:44,305 --> 00:11:45,404
I...
320
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,299
What am I doing?
321
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,374
A terrific job. Keep going!
322
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:50,508
N-No!
323
00:11:50,511 --> 00:11:52,744
I have been sweating
ever since I got here.
324
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:56,014
Did you trick me into
doing your housework?
325
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,148
No.
326
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,188
Unh-unh! That phone did not ring!
327
00:12:03,257 --> 00:12:05,390
You're walking away because
you know you're guilty!
328
00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:08,093
And take those shoes off!
I just did the floors!
329
00:12:08,629 --> 00:12:11,963
My friends' reaction to our
"divorce" really bothered me.
330
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,865
So I made an excuse to Cam
331
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,067
and went over to Longinus' party.
332
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,435
I wanted the friends to know
333
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,471
that I am just as
emotionally needy as Cam!
334
00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:26,444
Hey, girl, hey!
335
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:27,611
I can't believe you came.
336
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:28,719
Oh, my God. How's Cam?!
337
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:29,814
Yes, how is he?
338
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,449
Cam's fine. He's fine.
339
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,018
It was just a big misunderstanding.
We're not getting a divorce.
340
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:37,888
Well, girl, come on in.
341
00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:39,390
Let's get you two drinks...
342
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,692
one for each empty hand you
showed up to the party with.
343
00:12:42,114 --> 00:12:43,828
Well, I-I could use it.
344
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,997
I mean, even though it's...
it's not true about the divorce,
345
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,199
it could be... you know, someday.
346
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,835
And that just...
that just makes me so, so...
347
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:54,571
Confused?
348
00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:56,373
Angry? Furious.
349
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,474
"The Fast and the Furious"!
350
00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:58,485
Okay, this isn't charades.
351
00:12:58,567 --> 00:12:59,576
I'm sad.
352
00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:01,278
- That's your sad?
- Yes.
353
00:13:01,620 --> 00:13:02,629
That's your sad?
354
00:13:02,631 --> 00:13:03,763
Yeah.
355
00:13:03,865 --> 00:13:06,099
And I-I really need
your support right now.
356
00:13:07,903 --> 00:13:09,703
Wait, something new is happening.
357
00:13:12,207 --> 00:13:15,575
Oh, my God! How can you not see
how emotionally raw I am right now?
358
00:13:15,677 --> 00:13:16,776
Huh?
359
00:13:16,878 --> 00:13:18,445
Nothing lasts forever.
360
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:19,946
What happens when it's over?
361
00:13:20,048 --> 00:13:22,082
Poor Cam. He is so fragile.
362
00:13:22,184 --> 00:13:23,283
He's gonna need us.
363
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:24,651
We'll be there for him.
364
00:13:24,753 --> 00:13:26,987
Who will be there to dry these tears?
365
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:29,623
What tears?
366
00:13:30,149 --> 00:13:31,625
Where they at?
367
00:13:35,099 --> 00:13:36,532
Ay, no, not again!
368
00:13:36,601 --> 00:13:38,935
It wasn't me this time.
He did it to himself.
369
00:13:39,003 --> 00:13:40,303
Unlike last time,
370
00:13:40,371 --> 00:13:43,105
when you purposely flew
that plane into my face.
371
00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:44,373
You're a monster, Jay.
372
00:13:44,476 --> 00:13:45,842
Who are you calling a monster?
373
00:13:45,944 --> 00:13:47,777
Um, he just said... Jay.
374
00:13:48,379 --> 00:13:51,247
This isn't worth it!
Why do I do anything with people?
375
00:13:51,349 --> 00:13:53,216
I'm pretty sure you
don't have a concussion,
376
00:13:53,284 --> 00:13:54,984
but I'm gonna stay here just in case,
377
00:13:55,053 --> 00:13:56,519
so you don't fall asleep.
378
00:13:57,556 --> 00:13:59,822
Gloria, should you go get Mrs. D?
379
00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:01,957
Oh, yeah, sure.
I'll see if I can find her.
380
00:14:04,228 --> 00:14:06,428
Claire?
381
00:14:10,134 --> 00:14:11,533
Oh, hey. Seen Cam?
382
00:14:11,635 --> 00:14:13,835
And a Happy Thanksgiving to you.
383
00:14:13,904 --> 00:14:15,937
Oh, that's a lot of attitude.
You sound like my dad.
384
00:14:16,039 --> 00:14:17,105
Our dad!
385
00:14:17,174 --> 00:14:18,707
- Uch.
- There you are.
386
00:14:18,809 --> 00:14:21,810
So, I just, uh,
got a text message from Longinus.
387
00:14:21,878 --> 00:14:24,312
Said you left your sunglasses
at his Friendsgiving party...
388
00:14:24,381 --> 00:14:27,081
the one you decreed we didn't
have enough time to go to.
389
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,883
Mitchell, you owe me an apology.
390
00:14:28,985 --> 00:14:31,219
I owe you an apology?
391
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,755
I may not have brought a
gift to Longinus' party,
392
00:14:33,823 --> 00:14:35,757
but I sure left with one.
393
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,610
It's like he's never
seen someone cry before.
394
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:40,978
Just think of something sad.
395
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,813
Like when a pet died,
396
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,316
or when L'Michael was a seat
filler at the Golden Globes
397
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,318
and got to sit next to Nicole Kidman.
398
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,519
Why him?!
399
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:51,755
Ptolemy, you must get over that.
400
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:54,291
Look, the only reason we
all rallied around Cam was,
401
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,759
last time y'all broke up,
402
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,962
he was shattered and you seemed fine.
403
00:14:59,581 --> 00:15:00,981
What last time?
404
00:15:02,551 --> 00:15:03,784
Apparently, years ago,
405
00:15:03,852 --> 00:15:06,620
Cam invented a breakup
that never really happened,
406
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,289
just so he could gauge how
much support he could count on
407
00:15:09,391 --> 00:15:11,325
in the event of the real thing.
408
00:15:11,707 --> 00:15:12,709
Normal.
409
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,944
It's my fault for loving him too much!
410
00:15:15,013 --> 00:15:16,346
- No! No!
- No! No!
411
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,148
- You can do so much better.
- Don't do this to yourself.
412
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,582
- Honey.
- Yes.
413
00:15:19,651 --> 00:15:21,685
You turned everyone against me!
414
00:15:22,391 --> 00:15:24,387
Because in a breakup,
friends choose a side,
415
00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:28,157
and I'm... I'm more fragile,
and I would need them more.
416
00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:30,026
I was just preparing for an emergency.
417
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,695
I didn't yell at you when you
bought that, uh, earthquake kit.
418
00:15:32,764 --> 00:15:35,682
You told them I disappear
for days at a time.
419
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:36,499
Which you wouldn't know about
420
00:15:36,568 --> 00:15:38,734
had you not gone to the
party behind my back.
421
00:15:38,753 --> 00:15:40,353
Where's the trust, Mitchell?
422
00:15:43,157 --> 00:15:44,924
Looks like a good place
to hide from the drama.
423
00:15:44,993 --> 00:15:47,426
Dad, I am so mad at your wife right now.
424
00:15:47,495 --> 00:15:49,195
- I need a guest house.
- No, no, no.
425
00:15:49,464 --> 00:15:51,764
She... She has completely taken
advantage of my restlessness
426
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,632
and basically turned me
into her housekeeper.
427
00:15:53,734 --> 00:15:55,367
How? By doing something the wrong way,
428
00:15:55,436 --> 00:15:57,269
knowing you'll jump in
and do it the right way?
429
00:15:57,738 --> 00:16:00,172
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I get these clean?
430
00:16:00,274 --> 00:16:01,373
Not gonna happen.
431
00:16:02,376 --> 00:16:03,942
I am partly to blame.
432
00:16:04,011 --> 00:16:08,046
I'm not good at doing nothing.
433
00:16:08,115 --> 00:16:10,916
How did they get fingerprints
on the inside of the glass?
434
00:16:11,018 --> 00:16:12,084
It's crazy.
435
00:16:12,086 --> 00:16:13,452
You know, I had a similar experience
436
00:16:13,554 --> 00:16:14,953
when I turned the company over to you.
437
00:16:15,022 --> 00:16:17,589
It wasn't the activity that I missed.
438
00:16:18,008 --> 00:16:19,207
I missed being the boss.
439
00:16:19,276 --> 00:16:21,276
Oh! Yeah. I hear you there.
440
00:16:21,378 --> 00:16:23,645
- Giving orders, people scared of you.
- Yeah.
441
00:16:23,747 --> 00:16:24,756
I like day drinking,
442
00:16:24,815 --> 00:16:26,514
but nothing beats
being drunk with power.
443
00:16:26,716 --> 00:16:30,485
Yeah. Do you know how many unfunny
jokes I told at the office?
444
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:32,053
- None?
- Exactly.
445
00:16:32,145 --> 00:16:33,154
- Knock knock.
- "Ha ha ha ha!
446
00:16:33,156 --> 00:16:34,556
"Good one, boss! Ha ha ha ha!
447
00:16:34,624 --> 00:16:35,957
How do you keep coming up with them?"
448
00:16:36,059 --> 00:16:37,125
Spineless bootlickers.
449
00:16:37,227 --> 00:16:38,927
God, I miss them.
450
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:40,795
How did you get over it?
451
00:16:40,864 --> 00:16:43,130
I didn't wait around for someone
to put me in charge again.
452
00:16:43,199 --> 00:16:44,866
I made my own opportunity.
453
00:16:44,968 --> 00:16:46,334
Dad, dog beds?
454
00:16:46,436 --> 00:16:48,035
Better than poles.
455
00:16:50,039 --> 00:16:51,806
Oh, yeah. I hear things.
456
00:16:53,276 --> 00:16:55,676
Alright.
Dylan is on twin duty,
457
00:16:55,778 --> 00:16:58,379
so I'm gonna make sure
you don't fall asleep.
458
00:16:58,481 --> 00:17:00,881
I've been asleep for the last 10 years.
459
00:17:01,283 --> 00:17:02,316
Imagine finding out
460
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:04,284
the plane crash you
were in was no accident.
461
00:17:04,353 --> 00:17:05,752
Well, you're not alone.
462
00:17:05,821 --> 00:17:07,054
Jay did something very similar to me
463
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,489
when Mitchell and I first got together.
464
00:17:08,557 --> 00:17:10,891
He "accidentally"
bumped me with his car...
465
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,960
a real car, not a... not a toy.
466
00:17:14,546 --> 00:17:15,612
I was pretty bruised up.
467
00:17:15,714 --> 00:17:17,214
I just... I just assumed it was because
468
00:17:17,282 --> 00:17:18,882
he didn't want his son with a boyfriend,
469
00:17:18,951 --> 00:17:21,218
but he thought Mitchell could do better.
470
00:17:21,286 --> 00:17:23,053
It was a-a bit of a shock.
471
00:17:23,155 --> 00:17:24,921
Uhp...
472
00:17:25,340 --> 00:17:27,040
But then, once I became a father,
473
00:17:27,109 --> 00:17:29,676
I realized how protective
you can be over your kid.
474
00:17:29,745 --> 00:17:31,911
There was a little boy on Lily's
soccer team always teasing her,
475
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:33,446
so at the end-of-the-season party,
476
00:17:33,515 --> 00:17:36,082
I may have nudged him face-first
477
00:17:36,151 --> 00:17:38,151
into a freshly fried funnel cake.
478
00:17:40,699 --> 00:17:44,023
It is possible that
I have more in common
479
00:17:44,092 --> 00:17:47,460
with dads like Jay than
I would like to admit.
480
00:17:49,063 --> 00:17:51,097
Sorry I ate the last waffle, Mr. D.
481
00:17:51,166 --> 00:17:52,832
I've been so hungry lately.
482
00:17:52,901 --> 00:17:54,000
Mm.
483
00:17:54,068 --> 00:17:56,235
I wonder if that means
we're pregnant again.
484
00:17:58,981 --> 00:18:00,568
Oh, shoot!
485
00:18:00,603 --> 00:18:02,842
Shoot! Shoot, shoot, shoot.
486
00:18:04,312 --> 00:18:06,345
Ohhhhhh.
487
00:18:07,590 --> 00:18:09,181
Congratulations, Alex.
488
00:18:09,183 --> 00:18:11,383
A warren of starving rabbits
wouldn't eat these carrots.
489
00:18:11,452 --> 00:18:13,919
I'm starting to wonder if our
relationship should just be sexual.
490
00:18:13,938 --> 00:18:15,170
Okay, Neil, honestly...
491
00:18:15,239 --> 00:18:17,773
Hey, hey, hey, you lovebirds!
Time for that later.
492
00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:19,041
We got a meal to finish.
493
00:18:19,143 --> 00:18:22,177
Can somebody call FEMA?
This meringue is a disaster.
494
00:18:22,246 --> 00:18:23,378
I just did what you told me.
495
00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:25,314
Oh, really? I told you
to underbeat the egg whites?
496
00:18:25,416 --> 00:18:26,548
I really think...
497
00:18:26,650 --> 00:18:28,150
I think. You do.
498
00:18:28,252 --> 00:18:30,285
Oh, Neil. Are you done with Alex?
499
00:18:30,354 --> 00:18:33,255
'Cause I'm having trouble
slivering these almonds.
500
00:18:33,357 --> 00:18:34,556
Be one with me.
501
00:18:38,362 --> 00:18:41,429
Hey, Jay, um...
502
00:18:41,531 --> 00:18:43,698
I think I overreacted earlier.
503
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:44,899
I want to apologize.
504
00:18:44,968 --> 00:18:46,000
Forget it.
505
00:18:47,037 --> 00:18:50,805
If I'm being honest,
maybe on some level...
506
00:18:50,874 --> 00:18:52,640
I really did want to
hit you with that plane.
507
00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:55,877
I'm sorry, Phil.
508
00:18:56,446 --> 00:18:57,545
Thank you.
509
00:18:58,023 --> 00:18:59,714
Maybe I, uh, understand better
510
00:18:59,782 --> 00:19:01,816
why a father might want
to protect a daughter.
511
00:19:01,885 --> 00:19:03,050
Or a son.
512
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:05,920
I banged Cam up pretty good
before I gave him the nod.
513
00:19:06,022 --> 00:19:07,455
He never figured it out.
514
00:19:09,893 --> 00:19:12,890
I get the impulse.
I'm... I'm guilty of it myself.
515
00:19:12,925 --> 00:19:14,228
But there's got to be a
better way of handling anger
516
00:19:14,297 --> 00:19:15,563
than hurting someone, right?
517
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:18,933
Disgusting!
518
00:19:19,101 --> 00:19:20,534
If this was the first Thanksgiving,
519
00:19:20,603 --> 00:19:22,002
your gravy would be the worst thing
520
00:19:22,104 --> 00:19:23,904
this country has done
to Native Americans!
521
00:19:24,006 --> 00:19:25,873
- Hey, buddy.
- Yeah?
522
00:19:27,076 --> 00:19:28,242
Ohh!
523
00:19:30,646 --> 00:19:31,745
Oops.
524
00:19:31,847 --> 00:19:33,647
What a senseless accident.
525
00:19:33,749 --> 00:19:35,716
What the hell?!
526
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,984
It's not the end of the world.
527
00:19:38,087 --> 00:19:40,053
Chefs don't need to smell things.
528
00:19:40,122 --> 00:19:42,622
You people are crazy.
I'm getting out of here.
529
00:19:42,725 --> 00:19:44,624
What a splendid idea.
530
00:19:45,794 --> 00:19:47,894
Enjoy the souffl�.
531
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:51,431
You're the best.
532
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:54,301
Whoa. What's going on?
Did I just hear the chef leave?
533
00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:56,603
It's hopeless.
I can't even tell what this was.
534
00:19:56,672 --> 00:19:59,457
Well, I'll see if there's a
restaurant that can take us.
535
00:19:59,670 --> 00:20:00,807
- I'm just going home.
- Yeah.
536
00:20:00,876 --> 00:20:02,442
No. No, no, no, no!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No!
537
00:20:02,511 --> 00:20:04,310
No one is going anywhere.
538
00:20:04,363 --> 00:20:06,963
Listen, you know what?
We can salvage this Thanksgiving.
539
00:20:07,015 --> 00:20:08,581
Phil, you get the salad started.
540
00:20:08,683 --> 00:20:10,450
Luke, anything you don't need
541
00:20:10,552 --> 00:20:12,619
dental records to identify, save.
542
00:20:12,721 --> 00:20:16,122
Alex, that guy was an idiot.
Pick better boyfriends.
543
00:20:16,224 --> 00:20:18,791
I'm sorry, Mom.
I so wanted to do this for you.
544
00:20:18,893 --> 00:20:20,193
Oh, honey, no.
545
00:20:20,295 --> 00:20:22,128
You gave me the best gift ever.
546
00:20:22,230 --> 00:20:24,030
I'm bossing people around again!
547
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,034
Look, I guess I just...
548
00:20:28,136 --> 00:20:31,571
I didn't think I would be able
to survive if you ever left me.
549
00:20:31,673 --> 00:20:33,039
And I still don't.
550
00:20:33,141 --> 00:20:34,374
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
551
00:20:34,476 --> 00:20:36,809
And the party wasn't that fun.
552
00:20:36,911 --> 00:20:38,244
Something was missing.
553
00:20:38,346 --> 00:20:42,582
Oh, I love when you say things
without really saying them.
554
00:20:44,019 --> 00:20:45,752
You meant me, right?
555
00:20:46,786 --> 00:20:49,586
Um... um, "Man Without A Face."
556
00:20:49,688 --> 00:20:50,697
"The Mummy."
557
00:20:50,779 --> 00:20:51,788
"Coma"!
558
00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:53,290
"I, Robot"?
559
00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,391
"Frozen"?
560
00:20:54,846 --> 00:20:56,260
"The Crying Game"!
561
00:20:56,362 --> 00:20:57,427
Ohhhh.
562
00:20:57,429 --> 00:20:59,029
What is wrong with you people?
563
00:20:59,131 --> 00:21:01,932
If he wants to see crying,
he should come and see me
564
00:21:02,034 --> 00:21:04,067
in the kitchen with
all these dirty dishes.
565
00:21:04,169 --> 00:21:05,202
Fine.
566
00:21:05,204 --> 00:21:07,204
I will do plates and
I will do silverware,
567
00:21:07,306 --> 00:21:09,606
but nothing that requires soaking!
568
00:21:09,996 --> 00:21:12,009
Oh, you guys are so cute!
569
00:21:12,111 --> 00:21:13,143
Well, George is.
570
00:21:13,145 --> 00:21:14,878
Poppy's gonna need a personality.
571
00:21:15,353 --> 00:21:17,848
- Ooh!
- Sorry, dude. Total accident.
572
00:21:17,950 --> 00:21:20,417
Oh. He's gonna be a good dad.
573
00:21:25,091 --> 00:21:27,233
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
41792
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
