Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,661 --> 00:00:03,382
No, Margaret, I want you to triple check
2
00:00:03,450 --> 00:00:05,250
with the compliance officer about that.
3
00:00:05,352 --> 00:00:07,350
- What are you doing?
- I'm working on a little something.
4
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:09,087
You know how when
you're making pancakes,
5
00:00:09,189 --> 00:00:10,355
- your hands are always full?
- No.
6
00:00:10,457 --> 00:00:12,057
Well, this'll solve that.
7
00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:14,593
Did you take the batteries
8
00:00:14,695 --> 00:00:16,094
out of the smoke detector for this?
9
00:00:16,163 --> 00:00:17,763
No, no, still here. Still here.
10
00:00:17,865 --> 00:00:19,197
Yeah, no, I want to read
the investor statement
11
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:20,399
this afternoon,
12
00:00:20,401 --> 00:00:21,833
but, Dom, you're gonna
have to resend it.
13
00:00:21,935 --> 00:00:23,368
You accidentally e-mailed me
14
00:00:23,437 --> 00:00:25,003
the first chapter of your novel,
15
00:00:25,072 --> 00:00:26,772
and just a tiny little note,
16
00:00:26,874 --> 00:00:29,241
maybe not all bosoms are heaving.
17
00:00:29,343 --> 00:00:30,739
Thanks, guys.
18
00:00:31,895 --> 00:00:33,745
Work call on a Saturday morning?
What's going on?
19
00:00:34,948 --> 00:00:36,148
Honey.
20
00:00:36,833 --> 00:00:38,083
You probably don't want to
get into this right now,
21
00:00:38,152 --> 00:00:40,886
but is this a bald spot or
the center of your swirl?
22
00:00:42,222 --> 00:00:44,489
My job has been miserable.
23
00:00:44,591 --> 00:00:46,825
I'm always working, I never sleep,
24
00:00:46,893 --> 00:00:49,027
and all I do is clean
up other people's messes
25
00:00:49,062 --> 00:00:51,596
because I'm the only adult in the room.
26
00:00:51,698 --> 00:00:52,864
Oh, my God.
27
00:00:52,966 --> 00:00:56,401
I'm a mom again,
but to people I don't love.
28
00:00:56,863 --> 00:00:57,895
Sweetheart, listen.
29
00:00:57,964 --> 00:00:59,163
For years, you supported me
30
00:00:59,265 --> 00:01:02,178
while I juggled realtoring and...
and juggling.
31
00:01:02,213 --> 00:01:03,701
And now it's my turn to support you.
32
00:01:03,770 --> 00:01:05,970
Anything that's not work, I'm your guy.
33
00:01:06,072 --> 00:01:07,238
Oh, God!
34
00:01:20,037 --> 00:01:22,720
Hey, look at you guys. So playful.
35
00:01:22,822 --> 00:01:24,755
When I get married, I hope my wife and I
36
00:01:24,858 --> 00:01:26,557
never lose that sense of whimsy.
37
00:01:26,559 --> 00:01:27,658
- Thank you, Luke.
- What do you want?
38
00:01:27,660 --> 00:01:28,860
Okay, here's the deal.
39
00:01:28,962 --> 00:01:30,027
My buddy Scooter and I
40
00:01:30,096 --> 00:01:31,696
came up with this really
cool business idea.
41
00:01:31,798 --> 00:01:32,964
We think it's gonna be huge.
42
00:01:33,032 --> 00:01:34,398
That's great, pal!
43
00:01:34,501 --> 00:01:35,666
We are so proud of you.
44
00:01:35,768 --> 00:01:38,069
- Get to the bad part.
- There is no bad part.
45
00:01:38,171 --> 00:01:40,338
Actually, you guys are gonna make money.
46
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,039
Because I have to drop
out of school to do it.
47
00:01:42,696 --> 00:01:43,875
You're not dropping out of school.
48
00:01:43,977 --> 00:01:45,009
- Honey...
- No.
49
00:01:45,078 --> 00:01:46,177
...I... I got this.
50
00:01:46,179 --> 00:01:47,311
But we should've seen it coming.
51
00:01:47,413 --> 00:01:48,579
After all, his dad is the creator
52
00:01:48,681 --> 00:01:51,215
of the Hey Batter, Batter.
53
00:01:51,317 --> 00:01:52,483
The name's a placeholder.
54
00:01:52,585 --> 00:01:53,851
But probably still available.
55
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,420
Dad, I want you to know I
love your pancake shooter.
56
00:01:56,523 --> 00:02:01,826
Have you seen the updates... to...
57
00:02:01,928 --> 00:02:03,861
the Insta-Cold straw?
58
00:02:03,963 --> 00:02:05,296
You should be on a stamp.
59
00:02:05,365 --> 00:02:07,532
Has that ever not electrocuted someone?
60
00:02:07,634 --> 00:02:09,567
Sometimes you have to shock a few people
61
00:02:09,669 --> 00:02:11,035
before you shock the world.
62
00:02:11,137 --> 00:02:12,870
- Huh.
- That should go on your stamp.
63
00:02:12,972 --> 00:02:14,980
Okay, stop flattering your dad.
64
00:02:15,015 --> 00:02:16,040
You're not dropping out of school.
65
00:02:16,042 --> 00:02:17,375
You're almost done!
66
00:02:17,443 --> 00:02:18,976
And more importantly,
67
00:02:19,078 --> 00:02:20,545
we don't quit things in this family.
68
00:02:20,647 --> 00:02:21,846
Haley quit college.
69
00:02:21,948 --> 00:02:23,948
And Alex quit her job in Antarctica.
70
00:02:24,050 --> 00:02:26,083
And Dad has never finished a Sudoku.
71
00:02:26,152 --> 00:02:27,318
They are hard.
72
00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:28,786
Mom, this isn't some goof.
73
00:02:28,888 --> 00:02:30,955
Scooter and I really
believe in this idea.
74
00:02:31,057 --> 00:02:32,156
Can we at least show you
75
00:02:32,258 --> 00:02:33,858
in the investor
presentation this afternoon?
76
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,359
We'd love to hear it, wouldn't we?
77
00:02:35,461 --> 00:02:37,028
Of course.
78
00:02:37,096 --> 00:02:39,063
Yes! You guys
aren't gonna be disappointed.
79
00:02:39,165 --> 00:02:40,464
I'm gonna call Scooter now.
80
00:02:42,101 --> 00:02:43,882
He's not dropping out of school.
81
00:02:43,917 --> 00:02:46,107
You have got to listen
with an open mind.
82
00:02:46,142 --> 00:02:47,705
After all,
what kind of world would we live in
83
00:02:47,807 --> 00:02:49,340
if all parents forced their
kids to stay in school
84
00:02:49,409 --> 00:02:50,575
and not pursue their dreams?
85
00:02:50,677 --> 00:02:54,478
No Steve Jobs, no Mark Zuckerberg,
no Cindy Crawford.
86
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,881
Steve Jobs put a computer
in everyone's pocket.
87
00:02:56,983 --> 00:02:59,684
Luke almost died taking off
a hoodie on an escalator.
88
00:02:59,752 --> 00:03:02,420
My point is, dreams need to be fostered.
89
00:03:02,522 --> 00:03:03,921
And if I'm being honest,
90
00:03:04,023 --> 00:03:05,690
I kind of love the
idea of being a mentor
91
00:03:05,792 --> 00:03:06,857
to these two young minds.
92
00:03:08,561 --> 00:03:09,894
Wooden spoon!
93
00:03:09,929 --> 00:03:11,596
Knock it away with a wooden spoon!
94
00:03:11,664 --> 00:03:12,930
Thank you.
95
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,088
Oh, this is amazing!
96
00:03:18,090 --> 00:03:19,156
- Oh, my God.
- Oh.
97
00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:20,491
Daddy so walks like that!
98
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,861
Why are you guys laughing?
99
00:03:23,863 --> 00:03:24,962
We... We were happy?
100
00:03:24,964 --> 00:03:26,196
Since when?
101
00:03:26,298 --> 00:03:27,665
Were you watching that video again?
102
00:03:27,767 --> 00:03:29,833
Recently, the high school dolphin mascot
103
00:03:29,935 --> 00:03:32,503
has been, uh,
mocking Cam during football games.
104
00:03:32,605 --> 00:03:34,838
He's...
and I don't use this word lightly...
105
00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:36,573
a genius.
106
00:03:36,676 --> 00:03:38,742
How about we get our heads in the game?!
107
00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:45,449
Rick, you're gonna be streaking through.
108
00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:47,618
So it's gonna be boom, boom. You got it?
109
00:03:49,121 --> 00:03:50,754
I'm surprised you can't see the humor
110
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,489
in what the mascot is doing.
111
00:03:52,591 --> 00:03:54,058
Isn't it a lot like clowning?
112
00:03:54,126 --> 00:03:55,926
- What did you just say?
- Are you insane?
113
00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:58,062
Mascot-ing is nothing like clowning!
114
00:03:58,130 --> 00:04:00,497
Clowns are descendants
of the court jester,
115
00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:02,599
truth-teller to the king.
116
00:04:02,702 --> 00:04:04,902
Mascots know nothing
of veritas and beauty.
117
00:04:05,004 --> 00:04:07,037
Don't you just make wiener
dogs out of balloons?
118
00:04:07,139 --> 00:04:09,573
You are just jealous
because no kid ever said,
119
00:04:09,642 --> 00:04:11,075
"Hey, Mom, this year for my birthday,
120
00:04:11,177 --> 00:04:12,576
can we get a narc?"
121
00:04:12,678 --> 00:04:14,011
Okay, look, I'm... I'm sorry.
122
00:04:14,113 --> 00:04:15,779
I'm just stressed out.
This mascot is under my skin!
123
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:19,416
I can't have him making
me look like a fool today.
124
00:04:19,518 --> 00:04:20,617
I just found out a recruiter
125
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,352
from the University of
North Central Missouri
126
00:04:22,455 --> 00:04:23,954
is coming to watch me coach.
127
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,255
A recruiter?
128
00:04:25,357 --> 00:04:26,890
Did you apply for a job in Missouri?
129
00:04:26,992 --> 00:04:28,192
I just said I was available.
130
00:04:28,294 --> 00:04:30,127
W-Without consulting me?
131
00:04:30,155 --> 00:04:31,195
Well, you always said you were okay
132
00:04:31,297 --> 00:04:32,863
with moving back to
Missouri at some point,
133
00:04:32,965 --> 00:04:35,099
turning our little family
into a "farmily."
134
00:04:35,201 --> 00:04:36,266
You know I hate that word.
135
00:04:36,268 --> 00:04:37,401
Why? It's descriptive and fun.
136
00:04:37,503 --> 00:04:38,969
And you know what?
Look, if I got this job,
137
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:42,740
I would be the first openly gay
college football coach in history,
138
00:04:42,842 --> 00:04:45,442
and I would think you'd support that.
139
00:04:45,544 --> 00:04:47,544
And I would think that you would ask me
140
00:04:47,646 --> 00:04:49,919
before uprooting our whole farmily...
141
00:04:49,954 --> 00:04:51,047
Gah.
142
00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:52,649
Damn it, it's in there now!
143
00:04:56,493 --> 00:04:57,554
- Hi.
- Hi.
144
00:04:57,656 --> 00:04:59,590
Hello, mis niños.
145
00:04:59,692 --> 00:05:00,991
Thank you so much for
watching the babies
146
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,159
for a few hours.
147
00:05:02,228 --> 00:05:03,861
If you have trouble telling them apart,
148
00:05:03,963 --> 00:05:05,229
just take off their diapers.
149
00:05:05,331 --> 00:05:06,764
I wrote George's name inside his.
150
00:05:06,866 --> 00:05:08,332
There's my great-grandchildren.
151
00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:09,466
Do they recognize faces?
152
00:05:09,568 --> 00:05:11,268
Do I need to start slipping them cash
153
00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:12,736
to let them know who's in charge?
154
00:05:12,838 --> 00:05:15,005
Grandpa, you don't need
to buy their love.
155
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,840
Buy mine, and I'll talk you up.
156
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:19,109
Are we babysitting?
Should I cancel golf?
157
00:05:19,211 --> 00:05:20,611
No, no, no, no,
I know how important it is
158
00:05:20,713 --> 00:05:22,179
for you and your friends
to complain about
159
00:05:22,248 --> 00:05:24,381
how young people today
160
00:05:24,483 --> 00:05:26,350
are slightly different
than your generation.
161
00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:28,719
Vin Diesel is just Telly Savalas
162
00:05:28,821 --> 00:05:31,522
without the lollipop
and a great catchphrase.
163
00:05:32,105 --> 00:05:34,958
Okay, and you two,
I know how precious alone time is
164
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,326
for new parents,
165
00:05:36,428 --> 00:05:37,928
- so everybody go.
- Bye-bye!
166
00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:40,397
Have a great afternoon!
167
00:05:41,179 --> 00:05:42,533
Okay, mis niños, Gloria has planned
168
00:05:42,635 --> 00:05:45,202
a very exciting afternoon for you.
169
00:05:46,535 --> 00:05:48,071
Let's see.
170
00:05:48,174 --> 00:05:51,542
Who is ready to reject Satan
171
00:05:51,644 --> 00:05:55,279
and all his empty promises?
172
00:05:55,381 --> 00:05:58,215
Today, I'm having the babies
secretly baptized,
173
00:05:58,284 --> 00:06:01,185
both into Catholicism
and into the crazy things
174
00:06:01,287 --> 00:06:03,634
we do to each other in this family.
175
00:06:04,304 --> 00:06:08,420
- Absolutely not!
- Okay, be reasonable, Tashi.
176
00:06:08,489 --> 00:06:10,122
I... Tonight's a big game for me.
177
00:06:10,190 --> 00:06:12,157
I... I need to project authority,
178
00:06:12,192 --> 00:06:13,925
and your antics undermine me.
179
00:06:14,028 --> 00:06:15,127
Well, buckle up, Coach,
180
00:06:15,162 --> 00:06:16,895
'cause I'm taking it up a giant notch
181
00:06:16,964 --> 00:06:18,997
and taping today's game
for my college apps.
182
00:06:19,099 --> 00:06:20,732
Okay, you're gonna get into college.
183
00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:22,134
You have fantastic grades.
184
00:06:22,202 --> 00:06:25,270
Oh, you're right... an Asian kid
with great grades. That's fresh.
185
00:06:25,339 --> 00:06:26,705
I need to guarantee a spot.
186
00:06:26,807 --> 00:06:28,173
Mascot-ing sets me apart.
187
00:06:28,275 --> 00:06:29,641
Listen, you little punk.
188
00:06:29,743 --> 00:06:30,909
I could suspend you.
189
00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:32,077
How would your fancy colleges
190
00:06:32,179 --> 00:06:34,108
like to see that on your record, huh?
191
00:06:34,623 --> 00:06:36,856
Nice try, but, uh, my free expression
192
00:06:36,891 --> 00:06:38,142
is protected by the Supreme Court ruling
193
00:06:38,177 --> 00:06:39,929
in North Dakota vs. Bandito.
194
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:43,101
Oh, you... you halftime hacks.
195
00:06:43,256 --> 00:06:45,156
No scruples, no honor.
196
00:06:46,225 --> 00:06:48,125
Is this a clown thing again?
197
00:06:48,194 --> 00:06:50,027
We clowns have more humanity
198
00:06:50,096 --> 00:06:53,397
in one of our whimsically
oversized pinkies,
199
00:06:53,499 --> 00:06:56,333
more than you do in your
entire stinky costume.
200
00:06:57,570 --> 00:06:58,769
You powder-faced elitists,
201
00:06:58,838 --> 00:07:00,838
looking down your red
noses at everybody!
202
00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:03,374
Wipe the pie out of your eyes.
203
00:07:03,476 --> 00:07:05,276
The revolution is coming!
204
00:07:08,899 --> 00:07:11,949
- Do we really need to do this on a Saturday?
- I'm sorry.
205
00:07:12,047 --> 00:07:13,213
Nick was supposed to sign these
206
00:07:13,282 --> 00:07:14,681
- before he left for Fiji...
- Mm.
207
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,784
...and people need to get paid.
208
00:07:16,886 --> 00:07:20,020
We don't all live in mansions.
209
00:07:20,122 --> 00:07:22,055
This is hardly a mansion, Margaret.
210
00:07:22,158 --> 00:07:25,192
Whoa, why are we writing
a huge check to a shaman?
211
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:28,228
Oh, Nick took the interns
on a vision quest.
212
00:07:28,330 --> 00:07:30,197
Well, the female ones.
213
00:07:30,399 --> 00:07:31,531
- Gross.
- Mm.
214
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,300
Hey, guys. Scooter's here.
215
00:07:33,368 --> 00:07:34,601
Great.
216
00:07:34,703 --> 00:07:37,103
Can't wait to hear this amazing idea.
217
00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:38,672
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
218
00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,807
Can we just remember
we're on the same team
219
00:07:40,876 --> 00:07:42,042
and Luke can't drop out of school?
220
00:07:42,077 --> 00:07:43,310
So please don't make me the bad guy.
221
00:07:43,412 --> 00:07:45,545
Honey, they're kids.
I don't want to crush their spirit.
222
00:07:45,647 --> 00:07:46,656
They're just...
223
00:07:46,715 --> 00:07:47,881
They're just looking
for a little guidance.
224
00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:50,483
Oh, we're gonna guide them
right back into college.
225
00:07:50,535 --> 00:07:52,068
Margaret,
this is gonna take a few minutes.
226
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:53,670
Do you mind hanging here while
we're in the living room?
227
00:07:53,705 --> 00:07:56,906
I'll just wait here in
this other living room.
228
00:07:57,008 --> 00:07:59,442
My God, the waste.
229
00:07:59,904 --> 00:08:02,845
- Hey!
- Mom, Dad, this is Scooter Rivael.
230
00:08:02,914 --> 00:08:05,147
- Phil, Claire, nice to meet you.
- Hi.
231
00:08:05,249 --> 00:08:07,016
Luke said such wonderful things.
232
00:08:07,118 --> 00:08:09,185
Wait. Um, you're... you're Scooter?
233
00:08:09,253 --> 00:08:10,553
I-I was expecting someone younger,
234
00:08:10,622 --> 00:08:13,155
maybe wearing Heelys and a backpack.
235
00:08:14,225 --> 00:08:15,725
Uh, well, my real name's Scott,
236
00:08:15,793 --> 00:08:17,259
but Luke and I met at the club
237
00:08:17,328 --> 00:08:19,128
where everyone calls me Scooter.
238
00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:20,296
Or worse.
239
00:08:21,799 --> 00:08:23,899
So, let's hear this big idea, huh?
240
00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:26,835
Okay. Well, just like we rehearsed it.
241
00:08:26,938 --> 00:08:28,370
You got this, buddy.
242
00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:32,374
Remember when I took nighttime
medicine in the daytime
243
00:08:32,476 --> 00:08:33,742
and fell down the stairs?
244
00:08:34,265 --> 00:08:34,977
- Remember?
- Yeah.
245
00:08:35,046 --> 00:08:37,012
I bent all your fingers
back into their sockets.
246
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:39,014
Well, I had to go
to three different doctors,
247
00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:41,417
and every one of them made
me fill out the same forms.
248
00:08:41,885 --> 00:08:43,652
Introducing FormFiller Med,
249
00:08:43,754 --> 00:08:45,220
a secure encrypted mobile app
250
00:08:45,289 --> 00:08:47,255
that transfers your
medical and insurance info
251
00:08:47,257 --> 00:08:49,191
to your doctor's office
with a tap of your phone.
252
00:08:49,226 --> 00:08:51,159
No more filling out
the same boring forms
253
00:08:51,261 --> 00:08:52,527
over and over again.
254
00:08:52,596 --> 00:08:54,262
I ran the idea by a couple
old guys at the club,
255
00:08:54,365 --> 00:08:56,565
- and they loved it.
- Yeah, and we weren't even drunk yet.
256
00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:02,597
Alcoholism kills
millions of people a day.
257
00:09:03,567 --> 00:09:04,899
I know what you're thinking...
258
00:09:04,968 --> 00:09:06,468
Will doctors go for this?
259
00:09:06,536 --> 00:09:09,270
We polled over 200 doctors
and medical personnel,
260
00:09:09,339 --> 00:09:12,674
and 93% said that they would
happily pay our monthly fee
261
00:09:12,776 --> 00:09:14,375
to reduce their administrative load.
262
00:09:14,798 --> 00:09:16,030
But don't, uh, doctor's offices
263
00:09:16,132 --> 00:09:17,965
all use, like, different systems?
264
00:09:18,068 --> 00:09:19,233
Great question, Claire.
265
00:09:19,335 --> 00:09:21,002
The top two medical software systems
266
00:09:21,104 --> 00:09:22,537
have 90% market share,
267
00:09:22,639 --> 00:09:23,838
and we're compatible with both.
268
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,373
Wow. And, uh, what do you do, Scooter?
269
00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:27,975
Other than befriend children, I mean.
270
00:09:28,010 --> 00:09:29,577
I'm a venture capitalist.
271
00:09:29,645 --> 00:09:33,147
I've invested in 22 companies
over the last 30 years
272
00:09:33,215 --> 00:09:34,381
and personally led three of them
273
00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:36,083
from initial concept through IPO.
274
00:09:36,185 --> 00:09:37,251
Fascinating.
275
00:09:37,253 --> 00:09:38,519
You ever thought about
starting a business
276
00:09:38,588 --> 00:09:40,554
with, um, I don't know, your...
your own son?
277
00:09:43,025 --> 00:09:44,044
Okay.
278
00:09:44,093 --> 00:09:46,961
Let me show you the device itself.
279
00:09:47,063 --> 00:09:48,662
All a doctor's office has to do
280
00:09:48,764 --> 00:09:50,931
is plug this into the USB slot
281
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,366
of their reception room computer.
282
00:09:54,306 --> 00:09:56,406
A patient opens the app on their phone
283
00:09:56,475 --> 00:09:58,375
and taps it against the device.
284
00:09:58,477 --> 00:10:00,310
And just like that,
285
00:10:00,379 --> 00:10:01,711
all of your encrypted and pertinent
286
00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:03,080
medical and insurance information
287
00:10:03,148 --> 00:10:05,148
is instantly in your doctor's database.
288
00:10:05,217 --> 00:10:06,950
Well, I am so sorry, guys,
289
00:10:07,019 --> 00:10:09,224
but I like filling out medical forms,
290
00:10:09,259 --> 00:10:11,521
and I think there are millions of
hardworking Americans just like me,
291
00:10:11,623 --> 00:10:13,356
so this Shark is out.
292
00:10:13,359 --> 00:10:14,457
Uh, Mom?
293
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:15,625
Oh, good luck with that one.
294
00:10:15,694 --> 00:10:16,827
She's a lot tougher than me.
295
00:10:16,929 --> 00:10:19,629
Well, it brings me absolutely
no joy to say this.
296
00:10:19,731 --> 00:10:21,198
Luke, I'm impressed.
297
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,100
- But...?
- But nothing.
298
00:10:23,658 --> 00:10:24,467
Do you have any idea
299
00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:26,389
how much I hate filling
out those medical forms?
300
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,525
It seems like you have
really done your homework,
301
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:31,928
and most importantly,
you got a great partner here.
302
00:10:32,907 --> 00:10:34,096
I say go for it.
303
00:10:34,165 --> 00:10:35,665
- Seriously?
- Mm-hmm.
304
00:10:35,733 --> 00:10:36,999
Psst, Claire?
305
00:10:37,068 --> 00:10:39,235
Um, I have Nick on the phone from Fiji.
306
00:10:39,337 --> 00:10:40,436
We're in the middle of something,
Margaret.
307
00:10:40,538 --> 00:10:43,172
- He says it's an emergency.
- Ugh.
308
00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:44,473
He's on my phone.
309
00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:46,008
It's in the solarium.
310
00:10:46,077 --> 00:10:47,343
It's a bay window, Margaret.
311
00:10:47,445 --> 00:10:48,511
We did it, buddy!
312
00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,179
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on.
313
00:10:50,281 --> 00:10:51,380
It's not settled yet.
314
00:10:51,382 --> 00:10:52,782
Well, I thought we heard a yes.
315
00:10:52,851 --> 00:10:55,284
No, I'm... I'm still having
a conversation with my wife.
316
00:10:55,353 --> 00:10:57,219
Please, make yourself comfortable.
317
00:10:57,255 --> 00:10:59,488
Maybe kick off those rubber-soled shoes
318
00:10:59,557 --> 00:11:02,024
while I grab you an
instantly cold beverage.
319
00:11:02,126 --> 00:11:04,326
"I'm just your husband."
"Oh, your husband?"
320
00:11:04,428 --> 00:11:05,528
"You're gossiping. That's what I do."
321
00:11:05,596 --> 00:11:07,329
Looks like someone had a fight.
322
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,331
Hey, um, Mrs. Pasternack.
323
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,966
Um, was it that obvious?
324
00:11:11,068 --> 00:11:12,868
Eh. I say that to everyone.
325
00:11:12,937 --> 00:11:14,603
More often than not, I'm right.
326
00:11:14,705 --> 00:11:16,738
- Martini?
- No thanks, I'm... I'm good.
327
00:11:16,841 --> 00:11:18,140
No, you're not.
328
00:11:18,609 --> 00:11:19,675
Marriage is hard.
329
00:11:19,777 --> 00:11:21,109
I know!
330
00:11:21,145 --> 00:11:23,879
Everyone's always trying
to change each other.
331
00:11:23,948 --> 00:11:26,114
It's like, I'm an adult film director
332
00:11:26,217 --> 00:11:28,434
who collects Precious Moments Dolls.
333
00:11:28,469 --> 00:11:29,517
Let me be me!
334
00:11:30,688 --> 00:11:31,887
So, what's up with you two?
335
00:11:31,989 --> 00:11:34,756
Uh, Cam started looking
for a job out of state
336
00:11:34,858 --> 00:11:36,058
with... without consulting me.
337
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,360
Don't worry. You'll meet someone else.
338
00:11:38,429 --> 00:11:39,594
No, he wants me to go with him.
339
00:11:39,697 --> 00:11:41,996
Ah, that's the Cam I know.
340
00:11:42,048 --> 00:11:44,115
He's always going on about you.
341
00:11:44,217 --> 00:11:45,350
He is?
342
00:11:45,418 --> 00:11:47,485
Haven't you ever seen his Facebook page?
343
00:11:47,587 --> 00:11:48,987
He's obsessed with you.
344
00:11:49,682 --> 00:11:52,023
"How gorgeous does Mitchell
look in this picture?"
345
00:11:52,699 --> 00:11:56,027
Aww. "Proud to be married to a
man who fights for justice."
346
00:11:56,096 --> 00:11:58,062
Aww. "Mitchell over his cold.
347
00:11:58,131 --> 00:12:00,365
Hope my hubby brings the love tonight."
348
00:12:00,467 --> 00:12:02,534
Ew, my dad liked that. Euch.
349
00:12:02,602 --> 00:12:03,968
All right, Lily,
I'm on my way to the game.
350
00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:05,136
How bad is it?
351
00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:07,138
The dolphin is eviscerating Dad.
352
00:12:08,525 --> 00:12:10,224
Oh! Aah! Aah.
353
00:12:11,094 --> 00:12:13,361
Oh, if it was me,
he would totally do something.
354
00:12:13,463 --> 00:12:15,296
But what?! Ah, just give me a sign!
355
00:12:19,435 --> 00:12:22,070
Is there any way I could
just throw money at it?
356
00:12:24,605 --> 00:12:26,874
Ay. Ay.
357
00:12:27,565 --> 00:12:31,044
_
358
00:12:31,045 --> 00:12:33,739
_
359
00:12:38,254 --> 00:12:39,954
Except for Father Ramirez,
360
00:12:40,022 --> 00:12:41,155
all the priests I asked
361
00:12:41,257 --> 00:12:44,992
were "uncomfortable"
with my secret baptism.
362
00:12:45,061 --> 00:12:48,362
They said it was
"borderline kidnapping,"
363
00:12:48,464 --> 00:12:50,965
that they found my trickery "devilish."
364
00:12:51,033 --> 00:12:55,569
It's like, when did Catholics
become so judgmental?
365
00:12:55,929 --> 00:12:58,547
_
366
00:12:58,548 --> 00:13:03,361
_
367
00:13:03,362 --> 00:13:07,507
_
368
00:13:07,508 --> 00:13:14,311
_
369
00:13:14,312 --> 00:13:16,812
_
370
00:13:18,859 --> 00:13:20,620
_
371
00:13:21,147 --> 00:13:25,821
_
372
00:13:28,036 --> 00:13:30,070
Jay, you're back!
373
00:13:30,172 --> 00:13:31,204
Why do you sound surprised?
374
00:13:31,306 --> 00:13:32,439
You cut my brakes or something?
375
00:13:33,675 --> 00:13:35,575
What the hell's a priest doing here?
376
00:13:35,644 --> 00:13:37,577
Oh, it's just a check-up.
377
00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,914
One of the babies maybe is... possessed.
378
00:13:41,016 --> 00:13:42,415
Wait, are you baptizing them
379
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,384
behind Haley and what's-his-name's back?
380
00:13:44,486 --> 00:13:46,219
You can't do that to
other people's kids!
381
00:13:46,221 --> 00:13:47,320
It's not a big deal.
382
00:13:47,322 --> 00:13:49,789
If it works, the babies are protected,
383
00:13:49,891 --> 00:13:51,224
their souls are safe,
384
00:13:51,326 --> 00:13:53,259
and they're gonna spend
eternity in Heaven.
385
00:13:53,361 --> 00:13:54,460
If it doesn't,
386
00:13:54,463 --> 00:13:56,196
it's just like I gave
them a little bath.
387
00:13:56,428 --> 00:14:00,722
_
388
00:14:00,869 --> 00:14:03,169
- "Viejo." I know that word.
- Hmm?
389
00:14:03,271 --> 00:14:05,138
Did Father Time here just call me old?
390
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,773
Okay, let's all calm down.
391
00:14:06,875 --> 00:14:09,409
Let's introduce the babies
to the one true God,
392
00:14:09,511 --> 00:14:11,511
then we'll have some coffee cake.
393
00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:12,946
You know you're crossing a line here.
394
00:14:13,048 --> 00:14:15,415
Haley and Dylan doesn't
even have to know.
395
00:14:15,517 --> 00:14:17,117
Know what?
396
00:14:17,219 --> 00:14:18,785
Why is there a priest here?
397
00:14:18,887 --> 00:14:20,954
I told you, Poppy's possessed!
398
00:14:21,056 --> 00:14:22,388
Everybody can see it but you.
399
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,243
Why didn't you just ask us?
400
00:14:26,244 --> 00:14:28,844
_
401
00:14:28,914 --> 00:14:30,414
I did. I did ask you.
402
00:14:30,483 --> 00:14:32,583
You said yes.
I think you were very drunk.
403
00:14:32,685 --> 00:14:34,918
Haley, New-Phil,
404
00:14:34,987 --> 00:14:36,453
do you really want this baptism?
405
00:14:36,872 --> 00:14:39,940
I don't know.
We've barely thought about it.
406
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,909
Dylan did say that he was going
to research some religions.
407
00:14:42,978 --> 00:14:45,512
I'm halfway through this
Jim Jones documentary.
408
00:14:45,581 --> 00:14:47,447
So far, that religion seems pretty cool.
409
00:14:47,549 --> 00:14:49,716
I'm sorry that I didn't ask you before.
410
00:14:49,785 --> 00:14:52,419
I really wanted to do
this for George and Poppy.
411
00:14:52,488 --> 00:14:55,255
Baptism is gonna allow their souls
412
00:14:55,357 --> 00:14:57,257
to find eternal peace.
413
00:14:57,259 --> 00:14:58,291
What's the catch?
414
00:14:58,393 --> 00:15:00,160
Well, there's a lot of donations
415
00:15:00,195 --> 00:15:01,628
and some shame around sex,
416
00:15:01,697 --> 00:15:03,029
but Christmas is fun.
417
00:15:03,131 --> 00:15:05,432
Ugh. I don't even know how I can decide,
418
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,801
but I guess it can't hurt.
419
00:15:07,903 --> 00:15:09,035
Yahoo!
420
00:15:09,171 --> 00:15:11,071
You're going to the kingdom of Heaven.
421
00:15:11,173 --> 00:15:13,840
And there,
you're going to join the souls
422
00:15:13,942 --> 00:15:15,241
of some of our greats,
423
00:15:15,343 --> 00:15:17,811
like Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa,
424
00:15:17,913 --> 00:15:20,046
Danny DeVito when he dies.
425
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,681
Go.
426
00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:22,949
Yes.
427
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:26,950
_
428
00:15:26,988 --> 00:15:29,422
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- What now?
429
00:15:29,424 --> 00:15:30,490
Well, I'm sorry.
430
00:15:30,558 --> 00:15:32,291
It just...
It suddenly just got very real,
431
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:33,993
and it does not feel right,
432
00:15:34,062 --> 00:15:35,228
and I don't know why,
433
00:15:35,330 --> 00:15:36,996
Grandpa, am I making
too much of this? I...
434
00:15:37,098 --> 00:15:39,732
Don't ask him because he
doesn't even believe in God.
435
00:15:39,801 --> 00:15:40,867
I just don't think
436
00:15:40,935 --> 00:15:43,202
you need church,
costumes, all that stuff
437
00:15:43,304 --> 00:15:44,804
to feel a higher power.
438
00:15:45,635 --> 00:15:47,006
But you think there is one?
439
00:15:47,108 --> 00:15:48,907
Yeah, I felt it when my kids were born,
440
00:15:49,010 --> 00:15:50,776
and, um, when I met
this crazy woman here
441
00:15:50,878 --> 00:15:52,845
that I want to spend the
rest of my life with,
442
00:15:52,947 --> 00:15:55,214
but, you know, it can be just
a normal everyday thing, too.
443
00:15:55,282 --> 00:15:56,682
You know, like the way it makes me feel
444
00:15:56,751 --> 00:15:58,951
when I hear a baseball thump into a mitt
445
00:15:59,053 --> 00:16:01,053
or the way Tom Waits' voice
446
00:16:01,122 --> 00:16:04,857
can somehow be ugly and
beautiful at the same time.
447
00:16:04,925 --> 00:16:06,225
Am I making any sense?
448
00:16:06,959 --> 00:16:07,993
You know, last year,
449
00:16:07,995 --> 00:16:09,661
Dylan and I went to Yosemite,
450
00:16:09,763 --> 00:16:11,964
and we woke up really early one morning,
451
00:16:12,066 --> 00:16:14,733
and it was just us and
those gorgeous mountains,
452
00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:18,136
a bunch of huge trees,
and a family of deer.
453
00:16:19,073 --> 00:16:20,639
It was so beautiful,
454
00:16:20,708 --> 00:16:23,175
and it made me feel like I was connected
455
00:16:23,277 --> 00:16:25,544
to something bigger than myself.
456
00:16:25,979 --> 00:16:27,178
You know what, maybe one day
457
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:28,780
we can get them baptized in a church,
458
00:16:28,882 --> 00:16:30,281
but for now,
459
00:16:30,350 --> 00:16:32,717
why don't we take them up to Yosemite
460
00:16:32,819 --> 00:16:35,587
and look up and say thank you?
461
00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:39,190
That sounds like a great plan, Haley.
462
00:16:39,577 --> 00:16:42,427
Yeah. And maybe roast some
marshmallows while you're there
463
00:16:42,529 --> 00:16:45,263
so that they get used
to being around fire.
464
00:16:45,562 --> 00:16:47,695
No, Nick, you can't keep
taking money from marketing.
465
00:16:47,797 --> 00:16:48,863
They need...
466
00:16:48,965 --> 00:16:49,998
What?
467
00:16:50,066 --> 00:16:51,566
No, I will not stay on the phone
468
00:16:51,668 --> 00:16:53,101
while you moon a cruise ship.
469
00:16:53,103 --> 00:16:54,168
Are you...
470
00:16:54,170 --> 00:16:55,103
- Claire?
- Hang on.
471
00:16:55,171 --> 00:16:57,138
Claire. What was that out there?
472
00:16:57,207 --> 00:16:59,140
I thought we were supposed
to be on the same team.
473
00:16:59,142 --> 00:17:00,508
We are. I...
474
00:17:00,577 --> 00:17:01,676
They've got a great idea.
475
00:17:01,778 --> 00:17:04,345
You're just jealous because
Luke went to Scooter and not to you.
476
00:17:04,347 --> 00:17:05,980
That is not true.
477
00:17:06,082 --> 00:17:07,582
Really? You don't think
they're on to something?
478
00:17:07,684 --> 00:17:09,183
- It's an amazing idea.
- Okay.
479
00:17:09,285 --> 00:17:11,619
But why didn't he come to me?
480
00:17:11,721 --> 00:17:14,388
Because you love everything I do.
481
00:17:14,407 --> 00:17:16,607
I wanted to make sure this
was actually a good idea.
482
00:17:16,709 --> 00:17:18,209
That is so smart.
483
00:17:18,277 --> 00:17:20,211
How is someone this handsome...
484
00:17:20,313 --> 00:17:22,646
Okay, this is what I'm talking about.
485
00:17:22,715 --> 00:17:25,483
I love inventing with you,
but this is a business.
486
00:17:25,585 --> 00:17:27,585
And Scooter has a lot of experience.
487
00:17:27,687 --> 00:17:28,819
That doesn't take away from
488
00:17:28,921 --> 00:17:30,788
all of the things that
we've made together.
489
00:17:30,806 --> 00:17:32,539
All of that stuff brought me here.
490
00:17:32,641 --> 00:17:35,476
- Really?
- You can't spell FormFiller without Phil.
491
00:17:35,578 --> 00:17:37,144
But you know you can, right?
492
00:17:37,213 --> 00:17:38,879
The man's hurting.
I'm throwing him a bone.
493
00:17:38,948 --> 00:17:40,691
I'm proud of you, Luke.
494
00:17:40,816 --> 00:17:43,083
Damn it, I'm proud of Scooter, too.
495
00:17:44,046 --> 00:17:45,085
Wow.
496
00:17:45,287 --> 00:17:47,754
You know, seeing your guys' pitch,
497
00:17:47,856 --> 00:17:51,691
and the... the passion,
that sparkle in your eye,
498
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,728
I... I don't remember the last time
499
00:17:54,830 --> 00:17:56,563
I saw you care about anything that much.
500
00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,866
I don't remember the last time I did.
501
00:17:59,935 --> 00:18:01,034
That's super hurtful.
502
00:18:01,136 --> 00:18:03,103
No, sweetie, I'm talking about work.
503
00:18:03,205 --> 00:18:05,806
I... Honestly,
I used to get up in the morning,
504
00:18:05,874 --> 00:18:08,308
and I couldn't wait
to get to the office.
505
00:18:08,410 --> 00:18:10,210
And now I dread it.
506
00:18:10,934 --> 00:18:16,516
I do. I miss
loving my job or even liking it.
507
00:18:16,552 --> 00:18:19,986
Now all I do is put out
fires and manage complaints
508
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:22,322
and... and lose sleep over stuff
509
00:18:22,424 --> 00:18:25,125
that really doesn't matter.
510
00:18:27,129 --> 00:18:28,995
Yeah. I think I'm...
511
00:18:29,097 --> 00:18:31,398
I think I'm gonna quit my job.
512
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:32,599
Are you serious?
513
00:18:33,294 --> 00:18:34,367
Yeah.
514
00:18:34,469 --> 00:18:36,035
Is that... Is that crazy?
515
00:18:36,563 --> 00:18:39,472
Uh, no. No, not necessarily.
516
00:18:39,608 --> 00:18:41,207
I mean, crazy is sticking with something
517
00:18:41,259 --> 00:18:43,326
that's been making you
miserable for months
518
00:18:43,428 --> 00:18:45,061
when there are so many
companies out there
519
00:18:45,163 --> 00:18:47,130
who would want someone with your skills.
520
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,680
Hey, Nick, you still there?
521
00:18:49,715 --> 00:18:52,168
I told my son this morning
that he should never quit.
522
00:18:52,237 --> 00:18:54,037
Well, I was wrong.
523
00:18:54,105 --> 00:18:55,171
I'm out.
524
00:18:58,509 --> 00:19:00,376
Aah! That felt so good!
525
00:19:00,445 --> 00:19:02,144
It was so scary, but it was so good.
526
00:19:02,246 --> 00:19:04,080
I'm so proud of you, too!
527
00:19:04,115 --> 00:19:06,082
- Ohh!
- Hear, hear!
528
00:19:06,184 --> 00:19:08,117
To our next adventure!
529
00:19:08,219 --> 00:19:10,486
Oh, I found this in the wine cellar.
530
00:19:10,588 --> 00:19:12,455
It's a basement, Margaret.
531
00:19:12,523 --> 00:19:13,756
No, no, close the gap!
532
00:19:13,825 --> 00:19:15,825
Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball!
533
00:19:15,927 --> 00:19:17,069
Oh!
534
00:19:18,463 --> 00:19:19,895
It was a nightmare.
535
00:19:19,997 --> 00:19:21,931
The biggest opportunity of my career,
536
00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:23,499
and I couldn't focus.
537
00:19:23,601 --> 00:19:25,901
I tried not to make
any mockable movements.
538
00:19:27,017 --> 00:19:30,239
David Tashi was just
operating at too high a level.
539
00:19:30,341 --> 00:19:32,274
But then something wonderful happened.
540
00:19:36,647 --> 00:19:38,547
Oh. You hurt me.
541
00:19:39,851 --> 00:19:42,084
That's when I realized
I knew that chicken...
542
00:19:42,186 --> 00:19:43,285
Those weak punches,
543
00:19:43,387 --> 00:19:45,821
a run that said
"Pick me last" in gym class.
544
00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:47,189
It was my Mitchell.
545
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,492
Okay, guys, come on!
Let's huddle up. Huddle up.
546
00:19:49,594 --> 00:19:50,626
Let's get out there and
play our hearts out.
547
00:19:50,728 --> 00:19:52,661
Let's go, let's go! Bring it in!
548
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:53,996
Pitkowski, come on.
549
00:19:53,998 --> 00:19:55,464
Something more interesting
going on over there?
550
00:19:55,566 --> 00:19:56,575
Yeah, does anybody else
551
00:19:56,634 --> 00:19:58,567
see the dolphin fighting the chicken?
552
00:19:58,669 --> 00:20:00,369
'Cause I got hit pretty
hard in the head earlier.
553
00:20:01,472 --> 00:20:02,538
All right, let's go.
554
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:03,873
All right,
so this is what we're gonna do.
555
00:20:03,975 --> 00:20:06,075
We're gonna go up, right,
you're gonna be cutting...
556
00:20:11,367 --> 00:20:12,458
Where's Daddy?
557
00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:14,130
He went to go return
the chicken costume.
558
00:20:14,232 --> 00:20:16,265
That was like two hours ago.
559
00:20:16,367 --> 00:20:17,967
You don't think...
560
00:20:18,436 --> 00:20:20,336
Okay, Mitchell?
561
00:20:20,438 --> 00:20:22,037
Is that you in the mascot costume?
562
00:20:24,642 --> 00:20:26,609
Is someone forcing you to do that?
563
00:20:27,245 --> 00:20:29,378
Okay, then get in the car now.
564
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:30,579
I stayed in California.
565
00:20:30,581 --> 00:20:32,181
I married outside of my religion.
566
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:35,017
I spend every waking
moment with your family.
567
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,358
But my love is not unconditional.
568
00:20:39,435 --> 00:20:40,534
O-Okay.
569
00:20:40,636 --> 00:20:42,469
Alright.
570
00:20:42,571 --> 00:20:45,038
I love it when they honk for me.
571
00:20:48,102 --> 00:20:50,143
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
41201
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.