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1
00:00:02,885 --> 00:00:04,930
No one's around.
Again!
2
00:00:05,018 --> 00:00:07,557
Is it just me, or our people
are avoiding us lately?
3
00:00:07,909 --> 00:00:10,589
I get it,
twins are a ton of work.
4
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,585
But Haley and Dylan ask
us to help out a lot.
5
00:00:13,756 --> 00:00:16,546
Maybe we're both just loopy
from sleep deprivation.
6
00:00:16,721 --> 00:00:19,118
I don't even remember
making this cup of tea.
7
00:00:19,479 --> 00:00:21,302
It's fine,
I'll just jog with them.
8
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:23,679
Don't push yourself
too hard on that run.
9
00:00:23,820 --> 00:00:25,414
Please.
You know who you're talking to?
10
00:00:25,687 --> 00:00:28,046
Why does everyone
always ask me that?
11
00:00:29,218 --> 00:00:31,130
Whew! That was close.
12
00:00:31,218 --> 00:00:32,254
- Are they gone?
- Yes.
13
00:00:32,356 --> 00:00:34,615
Whew!
Okay, who'd like to help me
14
00:00:34,703 --> 00:00:36,773
- with a magic trick?
- Oh!
15
00:00:37,275 --> 00:00:40,304
Alex. Great.
Now, uh, take this dove...
16
00:00:40,437 --> 00:00:42,030
Try not to rile her up.
She's about to spend
17
00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:43,965
the better part of an hour
in my pants.
18
00:00:52,934 --> 00:00:54,639
*MODERN FAMILY*
Season 11 Episode 03
19
00:00:54,727 --> 00:00:55,875
*MODERN FAMILY*
Episode Title :"Perfect Pairs"
20
00:00:56,891 --> 00:01:00,132
Until now, we haven't had
the best of luck with renters.
21
00:01:00,350 --> 00:01:02,284
So, when you said
you were a cat person
22
00:01:02,372 --> 00:01:03,669
uh, on your application...
23
00:01:03,757 --> 00:01:05,296
- Mm-hmm.
- Um...
24
00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:07,189
Oh, oh, that's...
that's just my watch.
25
00:01:07,390 --> 00:01:10,240
But then Brad and Paul moved in,
and it was like
26
00:01:10,328 --> 00:01:12,976
the perfect friend couple
showed up at our front door.
27
00:01:13,063 --> 00:01:15,724
And you wanted to stop
renting completely
28
00:01:15,812 --> 00:01:16,842
- after the cat lady.
- I just...
29
00:01:16,929 --> 00:01:18,800
I couldn't listen to her scream
30
00:01:18,902 --> 00:01:20,320
every time she took a bath.
31
00:01:20,617 --> 00:01:22,771
I can't believe
how much we have in common.
32
00:01:22,859 --> 00:01:25,351
Daughters the same age,
you both played football.
33
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,388
You know, an ex-teammate of mine
is a coach for the Chargers.
34
00:01:28,476 --> 00:01:29,990
He can get us
right on the field.
35
00:01:30,078 --> 00:01:31,428
You just have to watch
where you stand,
36
00:01:31,515 --> 00:01:33,033
'cause you could end up
under a wide receiver.
37
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,569
Okay, stop selling!
I'm in!
38
00:01:34,657 --> 00:01:36,789
They even pre-paid
for six months.
39
00:01:37,109 --> 00:01:38,820
That means
they'll be here till Christmas.
40
00:01:38,984 --> 00:01:40,833
We can include them
in our Secret Santa!
41
00:01:40,921 --> 00:01:43,013
Oh, it would be nice
not to get Lily again.
42
00:01:43,101 --> 00:01:44,203
Mm-hmm.
43
00:01:44,398 --> 00:01:46,428
The Duke...
44
00:01:48,492 --> 00:01:50,867
..becomes a uke...
45
00:01:52,453 --> 00:01:55,010
..becomes a Luke.
46
00:01:55,210 --> 00:01:57,079
- Dad, that was amazing!
- Yeah!
47
00:01:57,174 --> 00:01:59,388
Amazing that
I think a hacky parlor trick
48
00:01:59,476 --> 00:02:00,876
is gonna cut it at SCARB.
49
00:02:00,978 --> 00:02:03,612
You heard me right, Alex...
SCARB!
50
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:05,880
The Southern California Area
Realtors' Banquet
51
00:02:05,968 --> 00:02:06,975
is the biggest event of the year
52
00:02:07,062 --> 00:02:08,732
for Southern California Area
Realtors.
53
00:02:08,819 --> 00:02:13,054
The other events...
SCARL, SCARD, SCARP, SCARG, SCARF...
54
00:02:13,156 --> 00:02:16,892
t-they're fine, but
SCARB, it's... it's the show.
55
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,460
I performed
at last year's SCARB,
56
00:02:18,562 --> 00:02:20,218
and...
and I did well.
57
00:02:21,999 --> 00:02:23,039
Too well.
58
00:02:23,131 --> 00:02:24,529
Thank you.
59
00:02:24,624 --> 00:02:27,482
Wait, was there someone else
who wanted to say thank you?
60
00:02:27,671 --> 00:02:28,837
Oh, that's right.
61
00:02:29,032 --> 00:02:31,084
Puff wanted to say thank you.
62
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:34,506
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
63
00:02:34,623 --> 00:02:36,480
Unbelievable!
64
00:02:36,568 --> 00:02:38,346
When you were underwater
for nine minutes,
65
00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:40,693
I almost broke the glass myself!
66
00:02:40,818 --> 00:02:42,918
You have got to come back
next year.
67
00:02:43,006 --> 00:02:44,935
Well, I guess I could, uh...
68
00:02:46,219 --> 00:02:48,219
..get behind you
on that.
69
00:02:50,193 --> 00:02:52,068
I don't know how I did that.
70
00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:54,590
For the last year,
I haven't paid for a drink
71
00:02:54,678 --> 00:02:55,934
in any Realtor bar
in California.
72
00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:57,536
I've never known
that kind of adulation.
73
00:02:57,623 --> 00:02:59,826
If I blow it tonight,
it all goes away.
74
00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:02,447
I'm just another bum
walking into Brokers
75
00:03:02,535 --> 00:03:04,639
paying for my own
Long Escrow Iced Tea!
76
00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:07,074
Dad, I'm on the short list
for this NASA job.
77
00:03:07,162 --> 00:03:08,637
I just need to finish
these forms,
78
00:03:08,725 --> 00:03:11,479
but I... I swear to you,
it really was great.
79
00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:13,420
- Oh! I'm sorry.
- Oh.
80
00:03:13,550 --> 00:03:15,183
And I am a tough audience.
81
00:03:15,285 --> 00:03:16,326
I'm a scientist.
82
00:03:16,414 --> 00:03:19,240
It's not like I'm fooled
by simple misdirection.
83
00:03:19,428 --> 00:03:20,722
I told Janice I'm 21.
84
00:03:20,936 --> 00:03:22,457
I'm pretty sure
she'd break up with me
85
00:03:22,545 --> 00:03:24,209
if she found out
I wasn't even legal yet.
86
00:03:24,590 --> 00:03:27,258
Then she asked if I'd buy
wine for dinner tonight.
87
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:29,631
Mind moving your thumb...
88
00:03:29,907 --> 00:03:31,473
Alexandra?
89
00:03:32,209 --> 00:03:34,035
That's what that's short for?
90
00:03:44,279 --> 00:03:46,004
So sweet of you to
take them to the park.
91
00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:47,597
Just make sure
they're someplace shady.
92
00:03:47,684 --> 00:03:48,787
Will do.
93
00:03:50,077 --> 00:03:52,535
It's amazing
how well you've been doing
94
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:54,558
selling Aunt Miranda's
hot sauce.
95
00:03:54,646 --> 00:03:57,121
I don't want to tell you
how much money I have lost
96
00:03:57,209 --> 00:03:58,480
trying to sell it over here.
97
00:03:58,568 --> 00:04:00,316
I wouldn't mind having
an exact figure...
98
00:04:00,404 --> 00:04:03,410
I can't believe that
you guys are already engaged!
99
00:04:03,498 --> 00:04:04,799
Where did you guys meet?
100
00:04:04,901 --> 00:04:06,686
On the street
where I sell my artwork.
101
00:04:06,782 --> 00:04:08,568
One day, she let me paint her.
102
00:04:08,811 --> 00:04:09,982
She became my muse.
103
00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:11,707
I am so happy for you, Sonia.
104
00:04:11,795 --> 00:04:14,498
Finally, you found
the love that you deserve.
105
00:04:15,307 --> 00:04:17,957
It's great seeing you being
supportive of Sonia for...
106
00:04:18,045 --> 00:04:18,913
She's an idiot.
107
00:04:19,016 --> 00:04:20,433
He's obviously a gold digger,
108
00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:21,916
and I'm going to prove it
to her.
109
00:04:22,019 --> 00:04:23,639
How do you know
he's a gold digger?
110
00:04:23,727 --> 00:04:25,926
He's a starving artist,
she has money.
111
00:04:26,014 --> 00:04:28,598
Do you really think that someone
young and beautiful like that
112
00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:31,262
is gonna fall in love with a rich,
older person?
113
00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:33,100
- Never happens.
- Mm-hmm.
114
00:04:33,188 --> 00:04:35,365
I hear what I'm saying,
and we're fine.
115
00:04:38,135 --> 00:04:39,894
When Sheryl McCray comes in,
116
00:04:39,982 --> 00:04:42,967
pay for her coffee with this.
117
00:04:43,396 --> 00:04:46,527
Sheryl McCray,
powerhouse real-estate developer.
118
00:04:46,615 --> 00:04:49,129
I've been trying to land her
closet business for years,
119
00:04:49,217 --> 00:04:51,334
but it's impossible
to get a meeting.
120
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,035
This article, though,
121
00:04:53,123 --> 00:04:56,512
says where she buys a latte
every Saturday at 10:00.
122
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,738
Today, I'm gonna buy that latte,
we'll get to talking,
123
00:04:59,826 --> 00:05:01,144
and before you know it,
124
00:05:01,232 --> 00:05:03,662
she'll be buying
a latte closets.
125
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,373
Sheryl McCray?
126
00:05:05,461 --> 00:05:07,207
Matthew Kang, Kang Cabinets.
127
00:05:07,309 --> 00:05:08,366
Would you have just two minutes
128
00:05:08,453 --> 00:05:09,973
- to, uh, sit dow...
- Are you serious?
129
00:05:10,404 --> 00:05:12,147
I'm not gonna do business
with someone
130
00:05:12,235 --> 00:05:13,988
who interrupts me
in a coffee shop
131
00:05:14,076 --> 00:05:16,363
while I'm trying to enjoy
a few precious moments
132
00:05:16,451 --> 00:05:17,906
of alone time ith my child.
133
00:05:18,008 --> 00:05:19,129
And her nanny.
134
00:05:19,217 --> 00:05:20,451
I think she's wet.
135
00:05:21,115 --> 00:05:23,297
Change of plans, big spender?
136
00:05:24,811 --> 00:05:27,490
Ohh! Really?
An emergency?
137
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:28,941
- Well, I guess I could...
- Relax.
138
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:31,067
They don't need help
with the babies. Luke has them.
139
00:05:31,154 --> 00:05:32,162
Oh, thank God.
140
00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:34,725
Ugh. Let's get rid
of this bad reminder, huh?
141
00:05:34,813 --> 00:05:35,912
Oh, I know that lady.
142
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,032
What? How?
143
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,754
Oh, Mommy and Me class at my yoga place,
144
00:05:38,842 --> 00:05:39,842
she's there every week.
145
00:05:39,936 --> 00:05:42,121
Oh, in fact,
it's starting in half an hour.
146
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,582
Think I'm gonna grab
the kids and go do my thang.
147
00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:45,824
- Hey. - Hi.
- You know what?
148
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,739
I haven't spent any time with
those little ragamuffins.
149
00:05:47,826 --> 00:05:48,856
Why don't you let me take 'em?
150
00:05:48,943 --> 00:05:51,072
- But I kind of wanted to take...
- Oh, take the help!
151
00:05:51,174 --> 00:05:53,349
Don't be a hero, super mom, huh?
152
00:05:55,911 --> 00:05:57,831
Is it me,
or is your mom acting weird?
153
00:05:57,919 --> 00:05:59,722
No. No!
154
00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:00,802
Don't you ev...
155
00:06:00,897 --> 00:06:02,974
Your cue is "cadabra"!
156
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,107
- Hey!
- Hey!
157
00:06:07,195 --> 00:06:08,951
We made kale smoothies.
We wanted to share.
158
00:06:09,126 --> 00:06:10,404
Thank you.
159
00:06:10,513 --> 00:06:11,224
Mmm!
160
00:06:11,312 --> 00:06:13,021
Oh, no!
We're intruding.
161
00:06:13,109 --> 00:06:14,857
You're throwing
a big pancake brunch.
162
00:06:14,945 --> 00:06:15,892
Where is everyone?
163
00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:17,740
Uh, this is just for us.
164
00:06:17,828 --> 00:06:18,942
Oh.
165
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:21,378
- What's this?
- Art project for school.
166
00:06:21,466 --> 00:06:23,154
I just grabbed something
out of the trash
167
00:06:23,242 --> 00:06:24,599
and threw glitter glue on it.
168
00:06:24,689 --> 00:06:25,770
Got a 70.
169
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,256
She knows
that's out of 100, right?
170
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:29,527
Vera went through
a Found Art phase.
171
00:06:29,615 --> 00:06:30,949
This is, um...
172
00:06:31,037 --> 00:06:32,636
This is the Michelangelo's David
173
00:06:32,724 --> 00:06:34,152
that she made out of plastic.
174
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,878
Recycled plastic.
175
00:06:35,966 --> 00:06:38,427
We only get one planet,
let's take care of it.
176
00:06:38,515 --> 00:06:39,462
Mm.
177
00:06:39,579 --> 00:06:41,451
Guess someone's
never heard of the moon.
178
00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:44,120
Oh, hey, speaking of art,
you're so lucky
179
00:06:44,208 --> 00:06:45,905
to live right around
the corner from the museum.
180
00:06:45,992 --> 00:06:48,061
Who was your favorite artist
in the postimpressionist show?
181
00:06:48,148 --> 00:06:49,120
- Uh...
- Uh, w...
182
00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:50,261
I mean, gun to my head?
183
00:06:50,349 --> 00:06:51,657
I would say...
184
00:06:51,896 --> 00:06:53,139
Gauguin, perhaps?
185
00:06:53,227 --> 00:06:55,339
- To the exhibit?
- Yes. In a heartbeat.
186
00:06:55,427 --> 00:06:57,371
Uh, you know, actually,
I'm thinking about going today.
187
00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:58,827
Would you guys care to join?
188
00:06:58,915 --> 00:07:00,125
Oh, I'd love to,
189
00:07:00,227 --> 00:07:03,058
but I promised this one
we'd go on a canyon hike.
190
00:07:03,146 --> 00:07:04,441
Once an underwear model...
191
00:07:04,529 --> 00:07:06,120
A couple International Male covers
192
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,652
to pay for medical school,
193
00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:09,589
he'll never let me forget it!
194
00:07:09,677 --> 00:07:10,869
Okay, we should go.
195
00:07:10,957 --> 00:07:12,935
Oh! Unless,
did you want to join for the hike?
196
00:07:13,023 --> 00:07:16,349
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm...
I'm running the Santa Monica stairs
197
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,543
this afternoon, so...
198
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:18,606
- Oh.
- It's Saturday. If they don't see
199
00:07:18,694 --> 00:07:20,279
me there, they get worried.
200
00:07:20,367 --> 00:07:21,747
And thank you for the yummies.
201
00:07:21,835 --> 00:07:22,614
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
202
00:07:22,702 --> 00:07:24,050
They sure are!
203
00:07:24,247 --> 00:07:25,393
Oh, no.
204
00:07:25,496 --> 00:07:26,917
- Ugh!
- So, um,
205
00:07:27,005 --> 00:07:28,894
I didn't know
you were a museum lover.
206
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,995
Oh, well, yeah,
before you and I started dating,
207
00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:32,559
I used to go to the museum
all the time.
208
00:07:32,646 --> 00:07:34,824
I'm not blaming you, of course.
209
00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:36,761
You know that
the Hollywood Wax Museum
210
00:07:36,849 --> 00:07:38,629
- isn't an actual...
- Okay, what about you, Rocky?
211
00:07:38,716 --> 00:07:41,018
You get winded
taking towels upstairs.
212
00:07:41,106 --> 00:07:43,769
Well, that's because after we met...
not blaming you...
213
00:07:43,857 --> 00:07:46,102
um, I sort of...
I tapered off a little bit.
214
00:07:46,271 --> 00:07:47,822
To focus on the relationship.
215
00:07:48,005 --> 00:07:49,824
But this is good.
216
00:07:49,912 --> 00:07:51,732
- Yeah.
- Us getting back to our roots.
217
00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:53,003
You know, enjoy the museum.
218
00:07:53,091 --> 00:07:55,099
- Yeah, enjoy your run.
- I will.
219
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,434
- You haven't, by chance...
- They're still in the box.
220
00:07:57,521 --> 00:07:59,140
- Back of the closet?
- Uh-huh.
221
00:08:00,683 --> 00:08:02,563
How come you never let me
play with that thing?
222
00:08:02,739 --> 00:08:05,951
This "thing" medaled in three
different Air Expos, Manny.
223
00:08:06,039 --> 00:08:07,066
It's not a toy.
224
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,370
Hey, look at this.
225
00:08:08,607 --> 00:08:10,238
That's Sonia's fiancé, right?
226
00:08:10,326 --> 00:08:12,450
It says he's from one of the
richest families in Colombia.
227
00:08:12,537 --> 00:08:13,824
I knew the guy was all right.
228
00:08:13,912 --> 00:08:15,980
Oh, I see.
Being rich makes you "all right."
229
00:08:16,068 --> 00:08:16,917
That's not what I meant.
230
00:08:17,005 --> 00:08:18,745
Your mom thought
he might be a gold digger.
231
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:21,441
And by the way, unlike you,
I grew up working-class.
232
00:08:21,529 --> 00:08:23,706
Oh, please.
The only blue collar in this house
233
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:26,105
is the bedazzled one
on your purebred French bulldog.
234
00:08:26,193 --> 00:08:27,731
She was going through
a depressed period.
235
00:08:27,818 --> 00:08:30,636
You're only as happy as
your least happy child, Manny.
236
00:08:30,724 --> 00:08:31,864
I'm just saying,
I've never seen you
237
00:08:31,951 --> 00:08:33,746
show much interest in someone
who didn't have money.
238
00:08:33,833 --> 00:08:34,837
That's ridiculous.
239
00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:36,691
Hey, buddy!
Come on, take a load off.
240
00:08:36,779 --> 00:08:38,925
- Have a drink with us.
- Oh, thank you, sir.
241
00:08:39,013 --> 00:08:41,800
I know what it's like
to put in a hard day's work.
242
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:44,669
- Jay Pritchett, by the way.
- Yes, we've met many times.
243
00:08:44,922 --> 00:08:46,998
Remember, a couple years ago,
I loaned you money for a cab?
244
00:08:47,085 --> 00:08:48,615
Oh, yeah, right.
245
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,153
Ay, Mama.
246
00:08:51,255 --> 00:08:53,138
She's not after our money.
247
00:08:53,306 --> 00:08:54,505
How do I know?
248
00:08:54,593 --> 00:08:56,052
She has money!
Lots of it.
249
00:08:56,260 --> 00:08:57,641
And I'm marrying this woman.
250
00:08:57,747 --> 00:08:59,561
I'll see you for the wedding
next week.
251
00:09:00,553 --> 00:09:02,269
Ay, next week?
252
00:09:02,357 --> 00:09:03,761
That's very quick.
253
00:09:03,849 --> 00:09:06,049
I don't want to give Sonia
a chance to change her mind.
254
00:09:06,136 --> 00:09:07,630
I'm sure you don't.
255
00:09:08,472 --> 00:09:10,458
You can't marry my sister.
256
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,207
- Why?
- Two words.
257
00:09:12,772 --> 00:09:14,238
Maybe one, with a hyphen.
258
00:09:14,326 --> 00:09:17,003
Gold digger.
I've always hated to see people
259
00:09:17,091 --> 00:09:19,295
take advantage of others
in that way.
260
00:09:19,382 --> 00:09:21,052
I can't let that happen here.
261
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,108
But doesn't your sister
have a lot of money?
262
00:09:23,203 --> 00:09:25,958
Would you be that quick to
marry her if she didn't?
263
00:09:28,191 --> 00:09:29,779
Hey, have you seen Néstor?
264
00:09:29,867 --> 00:09:31,324
I sent him off.
265
00:09:31,412 --> 00:09:33,872
Nobody's taking
anyone's money today.
266
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,543
Oh, I didn't need that much
from him.
267
00:09:35,631 --> 00:09:37,691
I just need to reshoot
the end of my thesis film.
268
00:09:37,779 --> 00:09:40,368
The special effects are weak,
and Prague was clearly faked.
269
00:09:40,552 --> 00:09:41,991
What the hell
are you talking about?
270
00:09:42,078 --> 00:09:44,058
Néstor.
His family's loaded.
271
00:09:44,146 --> 00:09:45,326
I looked him up.
272
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:47,904
He's a Berellez?
273
00:09:48,251 --> 00:09:50,386
They own a soccer team, 12 hotels,
274
00:09:50,474 --> 00:09:52,201
and five judges!
275
00:09:54,039 --> 00:09:57,982
Oh, really? Well, I don't care
if you want to buy 10,000 closets.
276
00:09:58,070 --> 00:09:59,089
I'm not at work.
277
00:09:59,177 --> 00:10:02,022
I am trying to bond
with my child... ren.
278
00:10:02,513 --> 00:10:03,614
Bye.
279
00:10:03,952 --> 00:10:05,029
Hi.
280
00:10:05,117 --> 00:10:07,154
So sorry about that.
It's just... Ugh.
281
00:10:07,263 --> 00:10:09,005
People are constantly
trying to sell me,
282
00:10:09,093 --> 00:10:12,152
and it is not always appropriate,
you know?
283
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,435
I hear that.
284
00:10:13,523 --> 00:10:15,404
Mommies, mommies.
285
00:10:15,511 --> 00:10:16,552
Gary.
286
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:19,099
Let's start with
a deep hip stretch.
287
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:23,091
I find this class hard enough.
How do you do it with twins?
288
00:10:23,275 --> 00:10:25,610
Well, uh,
it's nothing compared to the babies
289
00:10:25,698 --> 00:10:27,092
I got to juggle at the office,
huh?
290
00:10:27,179 --> 00:10:28,559
Ah! I know that feeling.
291
00:10:28,701 --> 00:10:31,505
Now up and down,
a little deeper.
292
00:10:31,638 --> 00:10:34,167
You know,
there's a baby-friendly tapas place
293
00:10:34,255 --> 00:10:37,583
Atticus and I go to after,
if you ladies are up for it.
294
00:10:37,909 --> 00:10:39,558
I don't think
it's time to bond, Gary,
295
00:10:39,646 --> 00:10:41,403
and I'm pretty sure
you had to sue to get in here.
296
00:10:41,490 --> 00:10:42,917
He did. And up.
297
00:10:43,005 --> 00:10:44,365
We had to settle.
And down.
298
00:10:44,453 --> 00:10:45,628
Nice.
299
00:10:45,731 --> 00:10:47,245
So, what kind of closets
do you make?
300
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:48,480
Because I actually need...
301
00:10:48,568 --> 00:10:50,520
You know what? Would it be okay
if we did this after class?
302
00:10:50,607 --> 00:10:52,888
It's just,
I get no time with them.
303
00:10:52,976 --> 00:10:54,776
Of course, of course.
304
00:10:59,841 --> 00:11:01,261
Oh. Hey.
How were the steps?
305
00:11:01,349 --> 00:11:03,316
Uh... so... so great.
So tough.
306
00:11:03,404 --> 00:11:04,753
Uh, love the burn.
307
00:11:04,848 --> 00:11:06,301
What's up with the hat?
I can barely see your eyes.
308
00:11:06,388 --> 00:11:07,480
Uh, same old eyes.
309
00:11:07,568 --> 00:11:08,594
I'm just gonna
go ahead and, um...
310
00:11:08,677 --> 00:11:09,696
Oh!
311
00:11:09,818 --> 00:11:12,363
Why is there a Wilson logo
on your forehead?
312
00:11:12,451 --> 00:11:13,677
I don't know.
Must be the hat.
313
00:11:13,765 --> 00:11:14,824
Nobody's buying it.
314
00:11:14,912 --> 00:11:16,707
Just skip to the part where
you tell us the truth.
315
00:11:16,794 --> 00:11:19,949
Fine. I-I never made it
to the stairs, okay?
316
00:11:20,037 --> 00:11:21,763
I got distracted.
317
00:11:29,607 --> 00:11:30,903
Ow!
318
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,605
I'm a fraud. Happy?
319
00:11:32,730 --> 00:11:34,488
I never even made it
to the stairs.
320
00:11:34,576 --> 00:11:35,902
Don't even know where they are.
321
00:11:35,990 --> 00:11:37,051
You know, I can't say I'm...
322
00:11:37,138 --> 00:11:39,068
I'm not a tad bit
disappointed in you, Mitchell.
323
00:11:39,148 --> 00:11:40,692
It's just a little lonely
going on this journey
324
00:11:40,779 --> 00:11:42,136
of self-improvement all by my...
325
00:11:42,224 --> 00:11:43,976
- What is that?
- Hmm? What?
326
00:11:44,064 --> 00:11:46,466
What... What part of the
museum did you get this from?
327
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,115
Uh, well, apparen...
328
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,602
obviously, you're not...
329
00:11:49,689 --> 00:11:52,038
familiar with Matisse's
feather... period.
330
00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:54,787
Did you maybe get this across
the street from the museum?
331
00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:55,956
- Hmm?
- No.
332
00:11:56,044 --> 00:11:57,152
'Cause if you had,
333
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,136
you'd have a distinctive
and sparkly...
334
00:11:59,224 --> 00:12:00,714
hand stamp!
335
00:12:00,802 --> 00:12:02,527
- I-I just need one ticket.
- Oh, my God,
336
00:12:02,615 --> 00:12:03,621
you guys, let's hurry!
337
00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:04,741
Hurrying where?
338
00:12:04,829 --> 00:12:06,433
Uh, there's a retrospective...
339
00:12:06,521 --> 00:12:09,544
"Cher in the '70s: Gypsies,
Tramps and Thieves."
340
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,440
You went without me?
341
00:12:11,528 --> 00:12:13,029
What do we always say?
342
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,628
Every Cher experience should be
343
00:12:15,716 --> 00:12:17,352
- a shared experience.
- Shared experience.
344
00:12:17,439 --> 00:12:19,599
I'm... I'm sorry, Mitchell.
345
00:12:19,687 --> 00:12:21,486
If I could turn back time...
346
00:12:23,435 --> 00:12:24,842
- Knock knock!
- Give... Give me the feather.
347
00:12:24,929 --> 00:12:26,294
No, put the feather in your cap.
348
00:12:26,453 --> 00:12:28,420
Hey, just checking in.
How was the museum?
349
00:12:28,508 --> 00:12:30,076
Oh, so great.
Sit down!
350
00:12:30,164 --> 00:12:32,631
Cam was actually
about to tell us
351
00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:34,138
what he learned about Picasso.
352
00:12:34,226 --> 00:12:35,997
Oh, I know so little about him.
353
00:12:36,085 --> 00:12:40,529
Well, it...
it turns out he was born, um...
354
00:12:40,745 --> 00:12:43,818
in the wagon of a...
of a traveling... show.
355
00:12:43,945 --> 00:12:45,279
His mother, poor thing,
356
00:12:45,367 --> 00:12:47,747
she was forced to dance
357
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,550
- You want me to teach you
how to play bridge? - for all...
358
00:12:49,637 --> 00:12:51,675
- Sure.
- I need a new partner.
359
00:12:51,763 --> 00:12:53,121
I keep beating the computer.
360
00:12:53,299 --> 00:12:54,904
Listen, we want
to invite you guys
361
00:12:54,992 --> 00:12:56,140
to a dinner party tonight.
362
00:12:56,261 --> 00:12:58,038
Yeah, you guys
are gonna love Xander and Mateo.
363
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:00,287
They just finished an
ultramarathon in Mozambique,
364
00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:02,506
- where they're lecturing.
- And to build up an appetite,
365
00:13:02,593 --> 00:13:04,007
we play sprinting charades.
366
00:13:04,095 --> 00:13:06,724
Yeah, and, uh,
this silly version of Celebrity
367
00:13:06,812 --> 00:13:09,029
using only characters
from Dickens.
368
00:13:09,694 --> 00:13:11,584
That sounds so fun.
We'll be... we'll be right back.
369
00:13:11,671 --> 00:13:14,677
We were just fanning out
some celery on a platter.
370
00:13:16,723 --> 00:13:18,169
Okay, I want them gone.
371
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,818
Even if you mean kill them,
I'm in.
372
00:13:19,919 --> 00:13:20,967
I mean,
what are we supposed to do?
373
00:13:21,054 --> 00:13:22,967
Spend the next six months
with our drapes closed,
374
00:13:23,054 --> 00:13:25,188
like Pepper after one of
his cheek implants fell?
375
00:13:25,276 --> 00:13:26,826
Speaking of Picasso.
376
00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:29,014
How are we supposed
to get out of this?
377
00:13:29,102 --> 00:13:30,482
Move out west.
378
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,724
That's what those towns are for...
disappearin'.
379
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,845
We live a mile from the ocean.
What town?
380
00:13:35,068 --> 00:13:36,357
What's wrong with me?
381
00:13:36,445 --> 00:13:38,419
I am so stupid!
382
00:13:38,637 --> 00:13:39,888
Sweetie, what is it?
383
00:13:39,995 --> 00:13:42,732
She beat me,
and she never even played before!
384
00:13:43,787 --> 00:13:47,607
I'm such a loser!
385
00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:50,638
Is she okay, or...?
386
00:13:50,726 --> 00:13:51,951
Vera has this thing
387
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,005
where she needs to be
perfect all the time.
388
00:13:54,093 --> 00:13:56,288
You know, the only reason
we moved to this neighborhood
389
00:13:56,375 --> 00:13:57,326
was so we could be closer
390
00:13:57,414 --> 00:13:59,872
to this accelerated school
she got into.
391
00:14:00,197 --> 00:14:02,412
Maybe we need
to reconsider the move?
392
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:04,949
Naturally, we'll pay
for all six months.
393
00:14:05,037 --> 00:14:06,833
- Yes.
- We should go talk to her.
394
00:14:06,921 --> 00:14:07,935
I'm sorry, guys.
395
00:14:08,023 --> 00:14:09,872
I was looking forward
to that celery.
396
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,669
I could really use a cheat day.
397
00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:14,357
Vera?!
398
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,833
Lily, how...
399
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:18,099
I set up my mirror
so I could see her cards.
400
00:14:18,226 --> 00:14:19,279
I had to!
401
00:14:19,367 --> 00:14:21,987
I couldn't stand her making me
feel bad about myself.
402
00:14:22,075 --> 00:14:24,357
No, no, I get it.
I'm not sure they don't enjoy
403
00:14:24,445 --> 00:14:25,966
making people feel inferior.
404
00:14:26,054 --> 00:14:28,121
Which is something you
guys could never do.
405
00:14:28,209 --> 00:14:29,451
- Aww!
- Aww!
406
00:14:30,552 --> 00:14:31,841
Wait, did she just say
407
00:14:31,929 --> 00:14:33,802
that we could never make
people feel inferior
408
00:14:33,890 --> 00:14:35,684
because we're so
inferior ourselves?
409
00:14:35,772 --> 00:14:38,661
But cleverly wrapped in a
compliment to avoid detection?
410
00:14:38,749 --> 00:14:40,363
In other words,
the perfect gay zinger?
411
00:14:40,451 --> 00:14:41,705
Well, she may not
finish high school,
412
00:14:41,792 --> 00:14:43,521
but she will hold her
own at any Tony party
413
00:14:43,609 --> 00:14:45,457
- the rest of her life.
- Yeah, she will. Yeah.
414
00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:47,349
I'm really sorry to hear that,
415
00:14:47,437 --> 00:14:49,529
but honestly,
if your wife left you
416
00:14:49,617 --> 00:14:51,198
just because
you missed her birthday...
417
00:14:51,309 --> 00:14:52,381
To drive you to the airport.
418
00:14:52,468 --> 00:14:54,034
I heard him, Manny.
Thank you.
419
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,122
..you're probably
better off without her.
420
00:14:56,294 --> 00:14:57,427
You're right.
421
00:14:57,644 --> 00:14:59,184
I only wish I had
something nicer to wear
422
00:14:59,271 --> 00:15:00,537
to our son's wedding tonight.
423
00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:02,620
You know,
you and I are about the same size.
424
00:15:02,708 --> 00:15:04,122
Why don't you borrow my tux?
425
00:15:05,259 --> 00:15:07,005
- Really?
- I insist.
426
00:15:07,093 --> 00:15:08,875
In fact,
I want to give you something else.
427
00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:10,283
Your plane?
428
00:15:10,371 --> 00:15:12,169
Uh, no,
I was reaching for my wallet.
429
00:15:12,234 --> 00:15:14,475
You know, to give you that money
I s-still owe you for the cab.
430
00:15:14,562 --> 00:15:15,946
I've admired
this plane ever since
431
00:15:16,034 --> 00:15:17,545
I fell off the roof
getting it for you.
432
00:15:17,632 --> 00:15:18,932
I'm so touched and honored.
433
00:15:19,065 --> 00:15:21,115
- Well, actually...
- He fell off the roof.
434
00:15:25,153 --> 00:15:26,601
Fine.
435
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:27,898
Enjoy.
436
00:15:27,986 --> 00:15:30,521
I will name her Roberta.
437
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:32,763
It's a boy plane.
438
00:15:36,847 --> 00:15:38,646
I feel like
I got the buckles wrong.
439
00:15:38,764 --> 00:15:40,295
Does this straitjacket
look right on me?
440
00:15:40,382 --> 00:15:41,701
More and more.
441
00:15:41,789 --> 00:15:42,662
Dad, I love you,
442
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:44,773
but I don't have time
for another magic trick.
443
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,132
I can't find my ID,
444
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:48,102
and I need a copy of it
for this NASA job,
445
00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:50,414
and my application has
to be mailed by 5:00.
446
00:15:50,502 --> 00:15:52,001
I'm sorry.
Can I help you look?
447
00:15:52,204 --> 00:15:53,918
Ugh!
This is hopeless.
448
00:15:54,099 --> 00:15:55,857
Unless there is some way
to jump the line
449
00:15:55,945 --> 00:15:58,187
at both the post office
and the DMV,
450
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,781
and the only way to get to
either of them at this hour
451
00:16:00,976 --> 00:16:02,227
is to drive in the carpool lane.
452
00:16:02,314 --> 00:16:04,013
We're ba-a-ck!
453
00:16:04,225 --> 00:16:06,333
Oh, my God!
I missed you so much!
454
00:16:06,421 --> 00:16:07,491
Ohhh!
455
00:16:07,608 --> 00:16:09,983
Oh, I got this.
You look so tired.
456
00:16:10,071 --> 00:16:11,204
But I've been napping all day.
457
00:16:11,291 --> 00:16:12,457
You're welcome.
458
00:16:13,316 --> 00:16:15,100
Can I at least smell
their heads?!
459
00:16:15,994 --> 00:16:18,727
Néstor? Hi.
It's Gloria Pritchett again.
460
00:16:18,815 --> 00:16:20,230
Please call me back.
461
00:16:20,433 --> 00:16:21,881
I need to explain.
462
00:16:21,969 --> 00:16:24,178
This was all a big mistake.
463
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:26,651
Néstor, where are you, my love?
464
00:16:26,784 --> 00:16:28,217
Ay, no.
465
00:16:29,361 --> 00:16:30,475
Sonia...
466
00:16:30,851 --> 00:16:33,217
I have very bad news
to tell you.
467
00:16:33,305 --> 00:16:34,772
Let me get Néstor.
He's my rock.
468
00:16:34,934 --> 00:16:35,866
Néstor!
469
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,629
Ay, what happened
to my independent sister
470
00:16:38,717 --> 00:16:41,251
that I admired so much
because she needed no man?
471
00:16:41,339 --> 00:16:43,108
Where... is he?
472
00:16:43,196 --> 00:16:45,025
Well, I thought
he was a gold digger,
473
00:16:45,113 --> 00:16:46,702
so I chased him out.
474
00:16:46,790 --> 00:16:47,881
You did what?!
475
00:16:47,969 --> 00:16:51,436
But the silver lining is that
you still have all your money!
476
00:16:51,524 --> 00:16:53,827
What money?
I don't have any money!
477
00:16:53,915 --> 00:16:56,426
What do you mean?
The money from the hot-sauce business
478
00:16:56,514 --> 00:16:57,717
that you're doing so well.
479
00:16:57,805 --> 00:16:59,000
No, it was all a lie.
480
00:16:59,088 --> 00:17:00,710
I just didn't want him
to be suspicious.
481
00:17:00,798 --> 00:17:02,985
Look, I'm wearing
aluminum earrings!
482
00:17:03,073 --> 00:17:04,840
They're turning my ears green!
483
00:17:05,013 --> 00:17:06,127
Ay!
484
00:17:06,561 --> 00:17:09,784
It took me two years to land that rich,
beautiful moron.
485
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:12,471
Where am I going to get
that kind of money?!
486
00:17:12,612 --> 00:17:13,688
Ow!
487
00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:15,272
Ow! Ow!
488
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:16,518
Oh, I tripped!
489
00:17:16,606 --> 00:17:17,987
Someone call a lawyer!
490
00:17:18,075 --> 00:17:20,023
- You didn't trip.
- Yes, I did! Look!
491
00:17:20,154 --> 00:17:21,877
Uh, the floor is all wet.
492
00:17:21,992 --> 00:17:25,328
Sonia, that didn't work at
the Princess Cruise ship,
493
00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:27,026
and it's not going to work here.
494
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,719
Every time I try
to get my life together,
495
00:17:29,807 --> 00:17:31,137
you always ruin it for me.
496
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:32,687
You owe me a rich husband.
497
00:17:32,775 --> 00:17:34,080
I'll find you one.
498
00:17:34,168 --> 00:17:36,666
There are plenty of
old, rich men around here
499
00:17:36,754 --> 00:17:38,317
that would do anything
that you say.
500
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,002
Some of them can still hear.
501
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:41,690
Oh. Who's this?
502
00:17:41,834 --> 00:17:43,885
Oh. He's, um...
503
00:17:45,012 --> 00:17:46,967
He's the best hedge guy in town.
504
00:17:47,055 --> 00:17:49,721
Congratulate him.
He just got a new plane.
505
00:17:49,891 --> 00:17:52,306
Ohh. A hedge guy.
506
00:17:52,393 --> 00:17:53,604
Fascinating.
507
00:17:53,692 --> 00:17:55,643
And how did you get
started in that business?
508
00:17:55,731 --> 00:17:57,213
I bought the clippers.
509
00:17:57,627 --> 00:17:58,846
Wow!
510
00:17:58,934 --> 00:18:01,368
And where are you going,
dressed so nice?
511
00:18:01,526 --> 00:18:03,705
- A wedding.
- Ohh, I love weddings.
512
00:18:03,793 --> 00:18:04,847
Would you like to accompany me?
513
00:18:04,934 --> 00:18:06,721
I would love to!
514
00:18:06,809 --> 00:18:08,135
And can we take your plane?
515
00:18:08,223 --> 00:18:09,623
Yeah, sure.
516
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,789
Why is our gardener
wearing your tuxedo?
517
00:18:13,877 --> 00:18:15,525
Why is Néstor gone?
518
00:18:15,775 --> 00:18:17,393
Let me lock the door first.
519
00:18:18,383 --> 00:18:21,224
Gloria!
You ruined my life again!
520
00:18:22,217 --> 00:18:24,771
- Oh!
- Is this your ring?
521
00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:26,248
It is!
522
00:18:28,739 --> 00:18:30,739
Is this your sock?
523
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:33,411
- It is.
- Oh! - Wow!
524
00:18:35,175 --> 00:18:37,459
Is this... your card?
525
00:18:37,547 --> 00:18:38,959
I don't remember!
526
00:18:39,316 --> 00:18:41,873
Now everything is where
it belongs.
527
00:18:42,052 --> 00:18:45,521
Except for this candle,
which obviously belongs...
528
00:18:47,295 --> 00:18:48,886
..on the piano!
529
00:18:48,974 --> 00:18:50,615
- Oh, my God!
- What?!
530
00:18:50,703 --> 00:18:53,521
You're right.
It's like I want to fail!
531
00:18:53,609 --> 00:18:56,045
Dad, stop being crazy.
Your act is great!
532
00:18:56,133 --> 00:18:58,896
It's a flat finish,
which means it's a flat act.
533
00:18:58,984 --> 00:19:00,717
It's obviously two candles.
534
00:19:00,978 --> 00:19:03,090
I put the second one over there
while I was distracting you
535
00:19:03,177 --> 00:19:05,388
by throwing a card
into that stupid grape.
536
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:07,817
We're home!
537
00:19:07,905 --> 00:19:09,674
- My babies!
- Hey!
538
00:19:09,762 --> 00:19:12,725
I feel like
I haven't seen you all day!
539
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,569
Did you have fun today?
540
00:19:14,657 --> 00:19:16,030
Well, that's easy to find out.
541
00:19:16,118 --> 00:19:18,356
Let me just upload
this baby cam footage.
542
00:19:18,444 --> 00:19:19,718
- The what... what was that?
- Hmm?
543
00:19:19,805 --> 00:19:21,793
Oh, one of their buttons
is actually a camera.
544
00:19:21,881 --> 00:19:23,312
It's not the greatest quality,
but...
545
00:19:23,399 --> 00:19:26,272
Wait, you took my babies
to a liquor store?!
546
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,111
No, it's the...
547
00:19:28,213 --> 00:19:29,545
it's the wine museum.
548
00:19:29,633 --> 00:19:31,195
It's Ace Liquor, Luke.
549
00:19:31,283 --> 00:19:32,897
I've been going there
since I was 15...
550
00:19:32,985 --> 00:19:35,069
minutes past my 21st birthday.
551
00:19:35,157 --> 00:19:36,700
- Well, I am horrified...
- Wait, wait, wait,
552
00:19:36,787 --> 00:19:37,967
I just fast-forwarded,
553
00:19:38,055 --> 00:19:40,684
and it's you talking to
some lady at a yoga class.
554
00:19:40,772 --> 00:19:41,670
She's from the magazine!
555
00:19:41,758 --> 00:19:44,108
You pimped out my babies
for a sales pitch?
556
00:19:44,196 --> 00:19:45,362
Who did it hurt?
557
00:19:46,022 --> 00:19:47,379
Poppy!
558
00:19:47,466 --> 00:19:49,981
Oh, disgusting.
Personally, I can't stand...
559
00:19:50,069 --> 00:19:51,569
Some guard at the DMV
560
00:19:51,702 --> 00:19:54,194
giving our five-month-old
a bite of his hot dog.
561
00:19:54,282 --> 00:19:55,858
He only watched them for a second.
562
00:19:56,008 --> 00:19:57,233
Wow.
563
00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:00,024
I was so happy you all wanted
time with the babies today,
564
00:20:00,112 --> 00:20:01,878
because lately, it has felt like
565
00:20:01,980 --> 00:20:04,098
you didn't even want to be
bothered with them.
566
00:20:04,186 --> 00:20:07,225
Turns out you only want to
help when it can help you.
567
00:20:07,313 --> 00:20:09,842
Part of me wonders
why we even stay here.
568
00:20:09,930 --> 00:20:11,686
Because you eat and live here
for free?
569
00:20:11,824 --> 00:20:12,764
I said "part."
570
00:20:12,852 --> 00:20:14,912
Okay, I'm not saying
what they did was great,
571
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,566
but isn't that what families do?
572
00:20:16,829 --> 00:20:17,981
Help each other out?
573
00:20:18,069 --> 00:20:19,991
And are we ever really too young
574
00:20:20,079 --> 00:20:22,303
to come to our family's aid?
575
00:20:23,344 --> 00:20:25,069
You're not seriously trying
to get us
576
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,780
to let you use them
for your magic trick, are you?
577
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:30,616
It is my card!
578
00:20:32,945 --> 00:20:34,811
You guys have been great.
579
00:20:34,899 --> 00:20:37,686
But I should be getting
my beautiful assistant here
580
00:20:37,774 --> 00:20:42,530
out of this tuxedo and
into some warm jammies.
581
00:20:49,523 --> 00:20:50,757
You guys.
582
00:20:50,852 --> 00:20:52,680
It's you that make it work.
42399
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