Original subtitles

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

OLESON'S GOT A PRETTY BIG ORDER HERE THIS TIME.

WELL, TOWN'S GROWING LIKE A WEED. MORE PEOPLE EVERY DAY.

YEAH. MOSTLY FOREIGNERS.

I'LL BET GOVERNMENT BETTER PUT A STOP TO IT,

OR THERE AIN'T GONNA BE ANY OF US PURE AMERICANS LEFT NO PLACE.

DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE AN INDIAN, HORACE.

- WHAT? - NEVER MIND.

WELL, DON'T TAKE ALL DAY, FARLEY.

Farley: KEEP YOUR BRITCHES ON.

I'VE GOT AN EXPENSIVE LOAD OF FOREIGN LIQUOR IN HERE.

YOU KNOW, SCOTCH.

I HAD TO DOUBLE-LOCK IT.

LAND SAKE.

WATCH YOURSELF, FARLEY.

WELL, LAND SAKE!

COME BACK HERE, YOU!

GET HIM!

[CHARLES AND JONATHAN LAUGHING]

Horace: COME BACK HERE!

HEY, YOU, I SAID COME BACK HERE!

Horace: OKAY, WE GOT HIM NOW. LET'S SPLIT UP.

[LAUGHTER]

HE'S GOT TO BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE.

LET'S HAVE A LOOK IN HERE.

HEY.

[LAUGHS]

KIND OF A FUNNY PLACE FOR A WHISKEY CRATE, ISN'T IT?

COME ON.

TOBY NOE!

SO YOU GOT HIM.

Jonathan: OH, COME ON, TOBY.

NOW YOU'RE GONNA TAKE A LICKING.

NOW, HOLD ON. THE OLD MAN'S A FRIEND OF OURS.

WELL, I DON'T CARE WHO HE IS. HE STOWED AWAY.

HE STOLE WHISKEY. I'M GOING TO TAKE HIM IN.

WHAT IF HE MAKES GOOD ON THE WHISKEY?

WELL...

HE'S JUST AN OLD MAN. NOW, COME ON.

ALL RIGHT. $20.

- $20? - NOW PAY UP OR LET'S GO!

JUST PAY HIM, TOBY.

ALL RIGHT. I'VE ONLY GOT $10, MY LIFE SAVINGS.

I'LL TAKE IT.

AND DON'T LET ME SEE YOU ON ONE OF MY TRAINS AGAIN.

YOU WANT TO PICK UP YOUR ORDER NOW?

Charles: WE'LL BE ALONG IN A MINUTE.

AH.

TOBY, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING AROUND HERE?

OH, I'M ON MY WAY TO FRISCO.

I HEAR THAT IT'S A GREAT GAMBLING TOWN.

ONLY I GOT NOTHING TO GAMBLE WITH NOW.

JONATHAN AND I ARE HEADING BACK TO WALNUT GROVE TODAY.

WHY DON'T YOU COME ALONG WITH US?

YOU CAN STAY AT MY PLACE FOR A WHILE.

CAROLINE AND THE KIDS WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU.

THEY WOULD?

SURE, THEY WOULD.

YOU CAN DRY OUT AND GET OFF THIS DRINKING BINGE.

I COULD, COULDN'T I? ALL RIGHT.

NO MORE BOOZE!

LOOK, HERE, I'LL CARRY THAT FOR YOU.

NO. NO NEED FOR THAT.

SUIT YOURSELF. [SMASH]

HA HA. TOBY.

Laura: YOU KNOW THAT BOY WHO SITS BEHIND ME IN THE THIRD ROW?

Albert: JASON BROOKS? YEAH, I KNOW HIM.

DO YOU THINK HE LIKES ME?

WHY? DO YOU LIKE HIM?

- YEAH. - OH.

SOMETIMES I THINK HE'S STARING AT ME,

BUT WHEN I TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT HIM, HE JUST TURNS AWAY.

I DON'T KNOW IF HE LIKES ME OR NOT.

SOUNDS TO ME LIKE HE'S PLAYING IT REAL SMART.

Laura: YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO ASK HIM OUTRIGHT IF HE LIKES ME.

OH, THAT'S THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO.

THEN HE'LL KNOW FOR SURE YOU LIKE HIM.

SO? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LET HIM KNOW YOU LIKE HIM.

UNLESS HE LETS YOU KNOW THAT HE LIKES YOU FIRST.

WELL, IF I'M WAITING FOR HIM TO LET ME KNOW

AND HE'S WAITING FOR ME TO LET HIM KNOW,

THEN WE COULD SPEND THE REST OF OUR LIVES NEVER KNOWING!

WELL, THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.

WELL, THAT'S DUMB.

IT'S NOT DUMB.

IF YOU PLAY HARD TO GET,

HE'LL COME CRAWLING ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES.

BUT WHY WOULD I WANT HIM TO DO A THING LIKE THAT?

I LIKE HIM STANDING UP.

I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO TELL HIM FLAT OUT

THAT I LIKE HIM.

OKAY, BUT DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

I'M PRETTY SURE SHE LIKES ME.

I MEAN, SHE LOOKS AT ME A LOT.

OR MAYBE SHE JUST CAN'T GET OVER HOW UGLY YOU ARE.

CUT IT OUT, NED, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'D DO IF I WAS YOU.

THE TOWN DANCE IS COMING UP IN 2 WEEKS.

IF I WERE YOU, I'D ASK LAURA IF SHE WANTS TO GO.

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT WHAT IF SHE SAYS NO?

I MEAN, I'D JUST DIE.

I COULDN'T COME TO SCHOOL ANYMORE.

JASON, YOU GOT TO GET PAST YOUR SHYNESS.

IT STOPS YOU COLD EVERY TIME.

I CAN'T HELP IT.

WHENEVER I REALLY LIKE A GIRL,

THEN I GET ALL CHOKED UP INSIDE.

WELL, START CHOKING, LOOK WHO'S COMING.

JASON, THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU.

DO YOU LIKE ME?

NO.

NOW, WHY DID YOU GO OFF AND SAY THAT?

I DON'T KNOW. IT JUST CAME OUT IS ALL.

YOU'RE A DUMMY.

WELL, SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO ASK ME THAT.

AND WHY NOT?

BECAUSE. WELL, WHAT IF I SAID "YES"?

THEN SHE COULD SAY, "WELL, I DON'T LIKE YOU."

I TAKE IT BACK, JASON. YOU'RE NOT A DUMMY.

YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

Charles: CAROLINE!

OH, CHARLES.

- YOU'RE BACK EARLY. - THAT'S RIGHT.

I HAVE SOME COMPANY AT THE BACK OF THE WAGON.

WHO? TOBY!

TOBY NOE.

IT'S A HARD NAME TO FORGET.

[LAUGHS] WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I WAS, UH, HEADING TO SAN FRANCISCO

ON A SPECIAL C--CASE, YOU M--MIGHT SAY.

AND I HAVE RUN INTO CHARLES.

HE'S GOING TO SPEND A LITTLE TIME WITH US.

WONDERFUL!

ALBERT WILL BE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

WELL, JUST FOR A FEW DAYS, YOU KNOW,

I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE A BOTHER.

NONSENSE, YOU STAY AS LONG AS YOU LIKE.

OH, I BET YOU'RE BOTH STARVED.

I AM, WHAT ABOUT YOU, TOBY?

OH, WELL, I SUPPOSE I COULD DO WITH A BITE OF SOMETHING.

[LAUGH] THE CHILDREN WILL BE HOME SOON,

- WE'LL HAVE SUPPER EARLY. - ALL RIGHT, GOOD.

I'LL GET TOBY TO SETTLE INSIDE.

GOOD.

Charles: WHAT'S FOR SUPPER?

PORK CHOPS.

OOH! LOT OF THEM!

THANK YOU, CHARLES. DON'T MIND IF I DO.

AH, I HAVEN'T EATEN THIS MUCH IN YEARS.

I HAVEN'T EATEN THAT MUCH IN AN ENTIRE YEAR.

YES, WELL, MY FATHER SAID,

"A GOOD APPETITE IS ALWAYS A COMPLIMENT TO THE COOK."

I WISH YOU WOULDN'T BE SO COMPLIMENTARY.

CAN I HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE, CAROLINE? IT MIGHT FILL ME UP.

CERTAINLY. I'LL PUT ON ANOTHER POT.

CARRIE, YOU BETTER GET TO YOUR HOMEWORK.

YES, MAMA.

WELL, LAURA, YOU'VE HARDLY EATEN A THING.

BROKEN HEART.

SHE LIKES SOMEBODY, BUT HE DON'T LIKE HER.

OH? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?

A COUPLE OF DAYS.

AH, A LITTLE HEARTBREAK, EH?

YEAH, I GUESS.

WELL, I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.

I'VE BEEN ON THE CHASING END OF A FEW ROMANCES MYSELF.

I'VE GOT CUPCAKES FOR DESSERT, IF ANYBODY'S GOT ANY ROOM.

CUPCAKES!

I HAVEN'T HAD CUPCAKES FOR YEARS. HA HA!

[CHUCKLES]

[BELL TOLLS]

Charles: NELS.

Caroline: MORNING.

Toby: I HAVEN'T MET MANY REVERENDS, YOU KNOW.

REVEREND, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY, MR. TOBY NOE.

WELL, I'M VERY PLEASED TO MEET YOU, MR. NOE.

LIKEWISE, REVEREND.

CHARLES, I THINK A FEW OF US

HAD BETTER HAVE A MEETING AFTER SERVICE.

WE'VE GOT TO FIND SOMEBODY TO PLAY THAT NEW ORGAN.

WELL, I THOUGHT MRS. OLESON VOLUNTEERED FOR THAT.

THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

IF SHE PLAYS IT, WE'LL LOSE HALF THE CONGREGATION.

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, TOBY CAN PLAY THE ORGAN. HE'S A GREAT MUSICIAN.

IS THAT TRUE, MR. NOE?

UH, WELL, UH...

SOME FOLKS THINK I'M PRETTY GOOD.

Reverend: WOULD YOU PLAY FOR US TODAY?

OH, I DON'T, UH--

OH, COME ON, TOBY. WOULD YOU?

WELL, SURE. WHY NOT?

BLESS YOU, MR. NOE.

I COULD USE IT. HA HA.

HE'S NOT KIDDING.

[LAUGHING]

[PEOPLE TALKING]

THERE ARE VERY FEW SOUNDS IN THIS WORLD

AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE SOUND OF A CHURCH ORGAN ON A SUNDAY MORNING.

SO I THINK WE ARE VERY FORTUNATE

TO HAVE A TRULY GIFTED ORGAN PLAYER.

MR. TOBY NOE WILL ACCOMPANY US IN THE SINGING OF THE HYMNS TODAY.

MR. NOE.

SHALL WE RISE?

[PLAYING UPBEAT VERSION OF SUNDAYS AFTER TRINITY]

[CLAPPING]

ROCK OF AGES CLEFT FOR ME

LET ME HIDE MYSELF IN THEE

LET THE WATER AND THE BLOOD

FROM THY WOUNDED SIDE WHICH FLOWED

BE OF SIN A DOUBLE CURE

SAVE FROM WRATH AND MAKE ME PURE

WHEN I DRAW THIS FLEETING BREATH

WHEN MINE EYES SHALL CLOSE IN DEATH

WHEN I RIDE TO WORLDS UNKNOWN

AND BEHOLD THEE ON THE THRONE

ROCK OF AGES, CLEFT FOR ME

LET ME HIDE MYSELF IN THEE

GOOD-BYE.

SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

GOOD-BYE.

- REVEREND ALDEN. - HELLO, AMANDA.

DON'T YOU "HELLO" ME! I'M FURIOUS.

THOSE HYMNS WERE A DISGRACE!

I'M SORRY YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, AMANDA.

I THOUGHT IT WAS QUITE INSPIRING.

INSPIRING, NOTHING. I DO NOT COME INTO GOD'S HOUSE

TO HEAR THE DEVIL'S MUSIC!

GOOD DAY, REVEREND!

REVEREND, WHO IS THAT SPIRITED WOMAN?

IT'S AMANDA COOPER.

WIDOW?

A SPINSTER.

OH, HOW LOVELY,

AN UNPICKED FLOWER.

LAURA! LAURA!

LAURA!

BELIEVE ME, TOBY,

YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHERE AMANDA COOPER LIVES.

BUT I DO.

TOBY, SHE'S MEAN, AND SHE'S SOUR.

SHE'S ORNERY.

AND THOSE ARE HER GOOD POINTS.

ALBERT, I'M THE TYPE THAT LIKES TO FORM HIS OWN OPINIONS.

NOW, WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?

- SHE DOESN'T LIKE PEOPLE, TOBY. - NO.

AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS.

THE ONLY ONE SHE'LL TALK TO IS HER DUMB OLD CAT.

BUT WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?

OH, WHAT'S THE USE?

RIGHT DOWN THERE.

Amanda: PERCY, IT'S LUNCHTIME.

THERE YOU ARE.

EAT UP, DARLING.

OH.

[SIGHS]

OH, PERCY, I HAD THE STRANGEST DREAM LAST NIGHT.

I WAS YOUNG AGAIN,

AND I WAS WALKING BY THIS BEAUTIFUL LAKE,

AND IT WAS A TERRIBLY HOT DAY,

SO I TOOK OFF ALL MY CLOTHES.

WELL, THERE WAS NOBODY AROUND.

AND, UH, I JUST JUMPED IN THE WATER,

AND, LO AND BEHOLD, THERE WAS A MAN IN THE WATER,

AND HE WAS SWIMMING RIGHT TOWARDS ME.

OH, I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW IT ALL WOULD HAVE ENDED

IF YOU HADN'T JUMPED ON THE BED AND WOKE ME UP.

YOU DUMB CAT, YOU.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

HOW DO YOU DO, MA'AM?

I'M TOBY NOE, AND I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE

FOR WHAT HAPPENED IN CHURCH.

IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION TO UPSET ANYONE.

INTENTION OR NOT, MR. NOE,

THAT WAS NOT PROPER CHURCH MUSIC.

YES, MA'AM, BUT, YOU SEE,

HAPPY MUSIC IS THE ONLY KIND OF MUSIC

MY FINGERS KNOW HOW TO PLAY.

WELL, I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME--

UH, WAIT.

NOW THAT WE'VE MET, I WONDER IF YOU WOULD DO ME THE PLEASURE

OF LETTING ME SIT HERE WITH YOU ON THIS VERANDA.

JUST WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS, MR. NOE?

STRICTLY HONORABLE, I ASSURE YOU.

I WOULD BE LESS THAN HONEST

IF I DID NOT ADMIT THAT I FIND YOU VERY ATTRACTIVE.

SIR, YOU ARE A CLOD!

YEAH...WHAT?!

A CLOD WITHOUT DECENCY OR MANNERS.

WE HAVE NOT BEEN PROPERLY INTRODUCED!

DON'T YOU CALL ME A CLOD, SISTER!

I JUST INTRODUCED MYSELF.

I AM NOT YOUR SISTER!

THANK GOD FOR THAT!

OF ALL THE NERVE!

[DOOR SLAMS]

BOY, TOBY, SURE SWEPT HER OFF HER FEET.

I COULD KICK MYSELF.

WHY DID I HAVE TO ARGUE WITH HER LIKE THAT?

BECAUSE SHE'S MEAN, THAT'S WHY.

NO. SHE'S NOT MEAN.

SHE'S FULL OF FIRE. SHE'S ALIVE.

I GOT TO FIND SOME WAY

TO GET MYSELF BACK IN HER GOOD GRACES.

WELL, YOU COULD ALWAYS LEAVE TOWN.

AHA!

OH, UH, UH, LAURA,

WOULD YOU, UH, ACT AS MY GO-BETWEEN?

GUESS SO.

ALBERT, YOU REMEMBER THAT PRETTY LITTLE GARDEN

WE SAW BACK THERE?

WOULD YOU BORROW SOME FLOWERS FOR ME?

SURE.

HA HA! LET'S GO!

[GIGGLES]

[KNOCK ON DOOR] [MEOW]

MISS COOPER, THE HONORABLE TOBY NOE WISHES TO APOLOGIZE

AND ASK IF HE MAY COME CALLING ON THURSDAY EVENING.

YOU TELL MR. NOE THE ANSWER IS "NO"

AND TELL HIM TO STOP BOTHERING ME!

I DECLARE, HE IS THE MOST GALLING, OBSTINATE MAN

I EVER MET IN MY LIFE.

HE'S A BULLDOG.

I DECLARE, IF HE DOESN'T STOP PESTERING ME,

I JUST MIGHT REPORT HIM TO THE AUTHORITIES.

SORRY.

FORGET ABOUT IT, TOBY, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

YEAH. GIVE UP.

GIVE UP? WHY SHOULD I GIVE UP?

SHE'S CRAZY ABOUT ME.

SHE'S JUST NOT AWARE OF IT YET.

Albert: BOY, HE SURE IS STUBBORN.

HE SURE IS.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO HEAT THAT UP FOR YOU?

NO, NO, I'M DOING FINE.

I'M JUST GLAD YOU HAD THIS HAM SLICE FOR ME.

I'VE NEVER IN MY LIFE SEEN A MAN EAT LIKE TOBY.

YOU'RE TELLING ME.

I'M NEVER CLOSING MY EYES AGAIN DURING BLESSING.

I SAID, "AMEN," OPENED MY EYES AND THE ROAST WAS GONE.

[CHUCKLES]

WELL, HE NEVER DID LIKE LEFTOVERS.

AT LEAST THERE ARE NOT LEFTOVERS.

I'LL BE IN AS SOON AS I FINISH THIS.

- GOOD NIGHT. - GOOD NIGHT.

OH, CHARLES?

YES.

MAY I, UH, BORROW THE WAGON TONIGHT?

ANYTHING YOU WANT, TOBY.

DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE I'M GOING?

YOU WANT TO TELL ME, YOU GO AHEAD AND YOU TELL ME.

TO COURT MY AMANDA.

YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT.

I THINK IT'S NO USE.

"NO" IS A WORD THAT IS NOT IN MY VOCABULARY,

EXCEPT FOR MY LAST NAME. HA HA.

WISH ME LUCK, CHARLES.

GOOD LUCK, TOBY.

CAROLINE!

Toby: BEAUTIFUL DREAMER, WAKE UNTO ME

STARLIGHT AND DEWDROPS

ARE WAITING FOR THEE

SOUNDS OF THE RUDE WORLD

HEARD IN THE DAY

LULLED BY THE MOONLIGHT

HAVE ALL PASSED AWAY

BEAUTIFUL DREAMER

QUEEN OF MY SONG

LIST WHILE I WOO THEE

WITH SWEET MELODY

GONE ARE THE CARES

OF LIFE'S BUSY THRONG

- MR. NOE... - BEAUTIFUL--

MR. NOE!

THIS HARASSMENT HAS GOT TO STOP.

I AM NOT HARASSING YOU.

I AM COURTING YOU.

WELL, I HAVE NO WISH TO BE COURTED.

NOW YOU WILL PLEASE GET OFF MY VERANDA.

BEAUTIFUL DREAMER

GO HOME, YOU EXASPERATING MAN!

BEAUTIFUL DREAM--

ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN COME TO TEA TOMORROW.

[SOFTLY] BEAUTIFUL DREAMER

AWAKE WITH ME

CAROLINE, HE'S JUST DRIVING ME CRAZY. IT'S AMANDA THIS,

AMANDA THAT. THAT'S ALL I HEAR ABOUT IS AMANDA.

OH, CHARLES.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE-- BEING IN LOVE.

IT'S FULL OF SUFFERING.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SUFFERING? THE MAN EATS LIKE A HORSE.

HE DOESN'T OFFER TO PAY FOR ANYTHING.

HE JUST STAYS HERE, AND HE EATS, AND HE EATS.

I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO STAY FOR A FEW DAYS.

CHARLES, HAVE SOME SYMPATHY.

AFTER ALL, HE'S AN OLD MAN.

CAROLINE, I'M GOING TO BE AN OLD MAN BEFORE HE LEAVES.

TRY AND GET A GOOD NIGHT'S REST.

YOU WILL FEEL BETTER TOMORROW.

ALL RIGHT.

- LOVE YOU. - GOOD NIGHT.

HMM.

[DOOR OPENS] Toby: CHARLES!

CHARLES, CAROLINE-- SHE INVITED ME TO TEA!

TOMORROW, FOR TEA!

WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO GET SOME REST, TOBY,

SO YOU CAN LOOK YOUR BEST?

OH, I COULDN'T SLEEP. I'M TOO EXCITED!

WHEN I GET EXCITED, I GET HUNGRY.

BUT I'M SORRY, TOBY.

THE ROAST IS ALL GONE.

OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING.

I STOPPED AT THE HENHOUSE ON THE WAY IN. HEE HEE.

YOU TWO GET SOME SLEEP. I'LL COOK THEM UP MYSELF.

YOU'RE TOO KIND.

OH, THANK YOU.

AN ACT OF KINDNESS NEVER GOES UNPUNISHED.

OH, CHARLES.

Toby: BEAUTIFUL DREAMER

[LAUGHING]

WAKE UNTO ME

STARLIGHT AND DEW DROPS

ARE WAITING FOR THEE

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

SOUNDS OF THE RUDE WORLD

ARE HEARD IN A DAY

HEY, KIDS!

HEY, KIDS! HOW DO I LOOK?

YOU LOOK FINE!

- WISH ME LUCK. - GOOD LUCK, TOBY.

HAVE FUN.

I HOPE TO. I HOPE TO. HA HA HA.

LOOK AT HIM. HE'S WALKING ON AIR.

WOULD YOU EVER BELIEVE THAT FOLKS THAT OLD WOULD FALL IN LOVE?

NEVER. ALBERT, DO YOU THINK

THEY'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO KISS EACH OTHER?

I DON'T KNOW,

BUT I'D SURE LIKE TO SEE IT IF THEY DO.

LET'S CUT ACROSS McMURPHY'S PLACE SO HE WON'T SEE US.

- RIGHT. - LET'S GO.

UH, JUST WHAT LINE OF WORK ARE YOU IN, MR. NOE?

I'M RETIRED.

REALLY? RETIRED FROM WHAT?

A LITTLE BIT OF THIS, A LITTLE BIT OF THAT.

YOU ARE ELUSIVE, MR. NOE.

NOT REALLY.

I'VE NEVER THOUGHT IT PROPER FOR A PERSON

TO BRAG ABOUT HIS FINANCIAL EXPLOITS.

BESIDES, I'D RATHER HEAR ABOUT YOU.

WELL, THERE'S REALLY NOT TOO MUCH TO TELL.

I WAS, UH, RAISED IN LOUISIANA,

AND, UH, THEN I'VE LIVED HERE THE REST OF MY LIFE.

UH, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MORE TEA?

NO, THANK YOU. IT WAS REALLY DELICIOUS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OH, I NOTICED THAT YOU HAD A PIANO, MISS COOPER.

DO YOU MIND IF I SEE IT?

IF YOU LIKE.

[PLAYING NOTES SLOWLY]

BEAUTIFUL TONE,

AND I HAVE JUST THE SONG FOR A PRETTY SOUTHERN GIRL.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[PLAYING CAMPTOWN RACES]

OH, I LOVE THAT SONG!

[BARKING]

[MEOWING]

LORD!

BANDIT! BANDIT! COME HERE! BANDIT!

Amanda: YOU KNOW THAT DOG! THAT'S YOUR DOG, ISN'T IT?

[GLASS BREAKING] Toby: IT IS NOT MY DOG!

IT'S THE DOG OF A FRIEND OF MINE.

OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE THIS MINUTE!

PLEASE, PLEASE! IT'S NOT MY DOG!

OUT! YES, YOU. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

- NOW I MEAN IT! - I LIKE CATS!

OUT! OUT! OUT AND STAY OUT!

WE'RE SORRY, TOBY.

PLEASE FORGIVE US.

YEAH. WE DIDN'T MEAN TO RUIN IT FOR YOU. I SWEAR.

OH, IT...

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

WHY DO I KEEP KNOCKING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL?

I THINK IT BEST THAT I JUST LEAVE TOWN.

[CHUCKLES]

WELL, YOU CERTAINLY WERE IN A GOOD MOOD TONIGHT.

WELL, OF COURSE I WAS IN A GOOD MOOD.

YOU HEARD TOBY. HE'S GOING TO LEAVE.

I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM.

WELL, SO WILL I AFTER HE'S GONE.

AND LET'S FACE IT, HIS MISERY DIDN'T HURT HIS APPETITE.

HE MADE THAT ROAST LOOK LIKE A CHOP.

I KNOW, BUT--

[THUD]

[SHUFFLING FOOTSTEPS]

CHARLES?

YES, TOBY?

I COULDN'T SLEEP.

I THOUGHT IF I HAD SOMETHING TO EAT

IT'D MAKE ME DROWSY.

THERE'S NOTHING LEFT.

WELL, MAYBE SOME RAW ONIONS AND A LITTLE MILK.

I THINK THAT OUGHT TO DO THE TRICK.

THAT SOUNDS VERY RELAXING, TOBY.

I HOPE I DIDN'T DISTURB YOU.

OH, NO. NO, THAT'S FINE.

YEAH, A LITTLE RAW ONION AND HOT MILK, AND I'LL BE FINE.

RAW ONIONS AND HOT MILK?

[BOTH LAUGHING]

I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT WE GOT TO DO?

WHAT?

WE GOT TO HELP TOBY MARRY THAT OLD PRUNE.

MARRY HER? WHY?

WELL, THAT'S THE ONLY WAY

WE'RE GOING TO GET HIM TO STAY IN WALNUT GROVE.

SHE WON'T MARRY HIM.

SHE WON'T EVEN TALK TO HIM ANYMORE.

WELL, WE COULD FIX THAT.

YEAH. WE COULD TAKE THE BLAME FOR WHAT BANDIT DID.

NO. THAT WOULDN'T DO IT.

[SIGHS]

I GOT IT.

WHAT?

THE JEALOUSY ANGLE.

YEAH.

[BARKING]

Albert: IT'S ALL SET, TOBY.

THE WIDOW MUMFORD IS EXPECTING YOU.

YOU'RE SURE ABOUT THIS, ALBERT?

YEAH. SHE'S DYING TO MEET YOU.

IT'S TRUE, TOBY. SHE SAW YOU IN CHURCH.

OH, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

- BYE, TOBY. - BYE-BYE. BE GOOD.

SURE HOPE IT WORKS.

IT'LL WORK. YOU TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

SURE WISH I COULD THINK OF SOMETHING THAT WOULD WORK WITH JASON.

DO WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO IN THE FIRST PLACE.

PLAY HARD TO GET. IT'LL WORK LIKE A CHARM. IGNORE HIM.

I STILL DON'T SEE HOW TWO PEOPLE IGNORING EACH OTHER

COULD EVER GET TOGETHER.

WILL YOU JUST LISTEN AND DO WHAT I SAY?

I'M LISTENING.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

OKAY. I'M GOING TO DO IT, NED.

I'M GOING TO ASK HER TO THE DANCE.

GREAT. JUST DON'T LOSE YOUR NERVE.

I WON'T. HERE I GO.

Jason: LAURA?

NOT WHILE I'M SHOOTING, JASON.

SORRY.

OH, DARN.

YOUR TURN.

UH, LAURA, I--

ALBERT'S SHOOTING.

WELL, I HAVE TO ASK YOU A QUESTION.

YOUR TURN.

CAN'T IT WAIT?

WELL, NO. IT'S IMPORTANT.

NOTHING'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN A MARBLE GAME.

HA! GOTCHA.

WELL, IF YOU HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR A QUESTION,

I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY...

WELL, THAT...THAT--

THAT WHAT?

THAT YOU'RE A TOAD FACE.

Woman: I'VE ALWAYS GOTTEN ALONG WELL WITH MUSICIANS.

MY FIRST BEAU WAS A VIOLINIST.

- YES. - HE HAD SUCH BEAUTIFUL HANDS.

MM-HMM.

I WOULD HAVE MARRIED HIM, EXCEPT INSANITY

RAN IN HIS FAMILY, POOR MAN.

HIS MOTHER USED TO HIDE HIS TROUSERS

SO THAT HE COULDN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE, YOU KNOW?

WHAT A PITY.

YES.

Toby: WHY, HERE. HERE'S A NICE PLACE RIGHT HERE.

WHAT? OH!

- HERE WE ARE. - LOVELY.

NOW I'LL GET THE BLANKET OUT HERE AND PUT IT DOWN

SO WE'LL BE COMFORTABLE.

THERE YOU ARE. AND NOW, MADAM.

OH, THANK YOU, MR. NOE.

[PLAYING BEAUTIFUL DREAMER SLOWLY]

[GASPS]

CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT FOOLISH MAN

GOING WITH SUCH AN ELDERLY LADY?

[GIGGLING]

I WISH YOU COULD HAVE KNOWN HIM, MR. NOE.

HE WAS THE LAST BEAU I HAD THAT COURTED ME.

OH, MR. NOE, MAY I LOOK AT YOUR HAND?

I CAN TELL A LOT ABOUT A MAN FROM HIS HAND.

[SIGHING]

OH! OH, SO SOFT,

SO GENTLE.

SO LOVING.

OH, YOU HAVEN'T DONE MUCH WORK, HAVE YOU?

OH, BUT IT'S A VERY SENSITIVE HAND.

OH, SO TENDER...

YET SO PASSIONATE.

[VOICE SHAKING] OH, MR. NOE,

KISS ME.

KISS ME NOW!

[TOBY GROANS]

[GASPS]

OH! ANIMALS.

DIDN'T I ALWAYS TELL YOU?

ALL MEN ARE ANIMALS.

[SIGHS] [BREATHING SHAKILY]

[CRYING]

LAURA.

[BLOWING NOSE LOUDLY]

[CRYING]

THANKS.

I DON'T WANT IT.

OH. I'LL WASH IT

AND GIVE IT BACK TO YOU IN THE MORNING.

WHY? IT'S YOUR HANDKERCHIEF.

[SNIFFLING]

I GUESS I REALLY MESSED UP TODAY, HUH?

YOU SURE DID.

I HOPE NONE OF TOBY'S BONES ARE BROKEN.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT MY HEART?

HE CALLED ME A TOAD FACE.

HE WAS EXAGGERATING.

THANKS A LOT.

LISTEN, DON'T WORRY

ABOUT THE DUMB OLD DANCE.

I'LL DANCE WITH YOU.

THANKS AGAIN.

THERE'S NOTHING IN THE WORLD MORE FUN

THAN DANCING WITH YOUR BROTHER.

ALBERT, YOU WANT TO DO ME A REAL BIG FAVOR?

OH, ANYTHING.

GO TO SLEEP.

GOOD NIGHT, LAURA.

GOOD NIGHT, ALBERT.

[BLOWING NOSE]

HEY, UH--UH...

I--I GOT A PROBLEM, CHARLES.

I GOT A REAL PROBLEM.

YOU SEE, AMANDA-- SHE'S THE TYPE

THAT KEEPS IT ALL INSIDE HER,

NEVER LETS HER FEELINGS SHOW.

WHILE I--I LET EVERYTHING SHOW.

AND--AND WE GOT TO MEET SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE.

WOULDN'T YOU AGREE?

- TOBY. - WHAT?

COULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR JUST A MINUTE, PLEASE?

OH, I'M SORRY, CHARLES.

Albert: YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING.

Laura: AND?

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE JEALOUSY ANGLE.

IT DIDN'T WORK FOR TOBY.

YEAH, I KNOW.

BUT I DON'T THINK OLD FOLKS

GET AS JEALOUS AS YOUNG FOLKS.

IT MAKES THEM TOO TIRED.

- ALBERT... - WELL, JUST HEAR ME OUT.

JASON'S BEST FRIEND IS NED, RIGHT?

YEAH.

WELL, WHAT WOULD MAKE A FELLOW MORE JEALOUS

THAN TO SEE HIS BEST FRIEND WITH HIS GIRL?

BUT I'M NOT HIS GIRL.

NO, BUT YOU WANT TO BE, DON'T YOU?

WELL, DON'T YOU?

YEAH.

OKAY...NED LOVES TO EAT.

NOW, WHAT DID YOU BRING FOR LUNCH?

JUST A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH.

TOBY ATE EVERYTHING ELSE.

YEAH. OH, OKAY, THEN.

AT LUNCHTIME, YOU STRIKE.

AH, MISS COOPER,

I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU.

IS THAT RIGHT?

YES. UM...

DO YOU MIND IF I COME IN AND--

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND, MRS. INGALLS?

WELL...ACTUALLY, IT'S ABOUT THE...

THE GENTLEMAN WHO'S STAYING WITH US.

I BELIEVE YOU KNOW HIM. MR. TOBY NOE.

DID THAT LUNATIC PUT YOU UP TO THIS?

NO. THIS WAS MY IDEA,

AND HE'S NOT A LUNATIC.

I DON'T MEAN TO BE IMPOLITE,

BUT YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME.

I WANT NO PART OF THAT MAN.

BUT I THINK YOU HAVE THE WRONG IMPRESSION OF HIM.

OH, NO.

I HAVE THE RIGHT IMPRESSION.

HE IS IRRESPONSIBLE, HE IS SLOPPY,

AND I DON'T THINK HE'S EVER WORKED

A DAY IN HIS LIFE.

WELL, WE ALL HAVE OUR FAULTS, MISS COOPER.

AND TOBY NOE IS THE MOST GOOD-NATURED MAN

I BELIEVE I'VE EVER MET.

WELL, THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE HIM TO ME?

IF HE IS SUCH A PRIZE, WHY DON'T YOU KEEP HIM AT YOUR HOUSE?

I DON'T THINK THAT'S VERY NICE.

HE THINKS THE WORLD OF YOU.

WELL, I HAVE GOTTEN ALONG

ALL THESE YEARS WITHOUT A MAN.

I DON'T NEED MEN. I DON'T TRUST MEN,

AND THAT IS THE SIMPLE TRUTH.

I FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO OPEN YOUR HEART TO A MAN.

A BOY BROKE MY HEART WHEN I WAS YOUNG, MRS. INGALLS.

HE BROKE IT SO BAD,

SO BAD THAT I CRIED FOR TWO WHOLE YEARS,

AND I DO NOT NEED A REPEAT PERFORMANCE.

GOOD DAY, MRS. INGALLS.

GOOD DAY, MISS COOPER.

HERE COMES LAURA.

SO?

SO, YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO APOLOGIZE

FOR CALLING HER A TOAD FACE.

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I WILL.

[COYLY] HI, NED.

HI.

I BROUGHT YOU AN EXTRA PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH.

- FOR ME? - UH-HUH.

HERE.

WELL, THANKS.

MIND IF I SIT NEXT TO YOU?

GEE, IT SURE IS COZY LIKE THIS,

ISN'T IT, NED?

IT'S NOT COZY. IT'S CROWDED.

THANKS FOR THE SANDWICH.

YOU KNOW, I WAS RIGHT.

YOU ARE A TOAD FACE.

[SIGHS]

Caroline: SO, IF I WERE YOU,

I'D BE A LITTLE MORE PATIENT WITH HER, TOBY.

AFTER ALL, SHE'S BEEN WARY OF MEN

FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.

Toby: SHE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME.

I'M THE LOYAL TYPE.

AND IT WOULDN'T HURT IF YOU CLEANED YOURSELF UP

A LITTLE BIT EITHER AND GOT A JOB.

THAT'S WHAT I NEED. A NEW IMAGE.

OH, CAROLINE, WOULD YOU GIVE ME A HAIRCUT?

OF COURSE.

WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER PART, TOBY?

THE JOB PART? WE COULD USE A HAND AT THE MILL.

OH, LET'S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY, CHARLES.

ONE THING AT A TIME.

UH, CAROLINE, DO WE HAVE ANY MORE ROAST?

YES, THE HEAD AND THE TAIL.

HA HA.

TOBY? COME ON, HURRY UP. WE'LL BE LATE FOR CHURCH.

Toby: COMING! I'M COMING!

HEY, YOU LOOK GREAT. WHERE'D YOU GET THE SUIT?

THE MERCANTILE.

WELL, HOW DID YOU PAY FOR IT?

I, UH... CHARGED IT.

YOU CHARGED IT? I'M SURPRISED

MRS. OLESON LET YOU OPEN AN A--

YOU PUT IT ON MY BILL?

ALL RIGHT, NOW, TOBY, THIS IS GOING TO STOP.

YOU'RE GOING TO GET A JOB.

DON'T YOU YELL AT ME, CHARLES INGALLS.

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MY FAULT?

IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR YOU, I'D BE IN FRISCO RIGHT NOW,

MAKING A BUNDLE. THERE'S NO GAMBLING IN THIS ONE-HORSE TOWN.

NOW, COME ON. WE'RE LATE FOR CHURCH.

OH...

[ORGAN PLAYING SLOWLY]

AMAZING GRACE

HOW SWEET THE SOUND

THAT SAVED A WRETCH

LIKE ME

I ONCE WAS LOST

BUT NOW AM FOUND

WAS BLIND

BUT NOW I SEE

'TWAS GRACE THAT TAUGHT

MY HEART TO FEAR

AND GRACE MY FEARS RELIEVED

HOW PRECIOUS DID

THAT GRACE APPEAR

THE HOUR

I FIRST BELIEVED

[CONGREGATION SITS DOWN]

I HAVE A FEW ANNOUNCEMENTS TO MAKE.

THE ANNUAL TOWN DANCE WILL TAKE PLACE THIS SATURDAY

IN LARSON'S BARN,

AND WE HAVE TWO BIRTHDAYS THIS WEEK--

FRANK FINNEGAN ON WEDNESDAY

AND AMANDA COOPER ON SATURDAY.

Toby: CHARLES!

- CHARLES! - YEAH?

- I'M GOING TO DO IT. - YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHAT?

WORK. I'VE GOT TO MAKE SOME MONEY

TO BUY AMANDA A BIRTHDAY PRESENT.

HEY, WELL, THAT'S GREAT, TOBY.

YOU CAN ALSO PAY FOR YOUR SUIT. START TOMORROW.

YEAH, YEAH. SURE.

HOW ARE YOU, MISS COOPER?

I'M JUST FINE, THANK YOU, MR. NOE.

OH, FUNNY OUR STOPPING HERE

IN FRONT OF MY PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT.

WELL, MR. NOE, I DIDN'T KNOW

THAT YOU WERE WORKING.

OH, YES. IT'S HARD FOR A MAN LIKE MYSELF

TO REMAIN IDLE FOR LONG.

WOULD YOU ALLOW ME

THE HONOR OF WALKING YOU HOME?

I'M SURE I'D BE VERY PLEASED.

[LAUGHING]

Toby: AND HE SAID TO ME,

"DO YOU THINK IT WILL RAIN?"

AND I SAID, "IT ALWAYS HAS."

[LAUGHING]

AND I--HE SAID TO ME AGAIN,

HE SAID, "DO YOU THINK IT WILL SNOW?"

I SAID, "IT ALWAYS HAS."

OH, MR. NOE, YOU ARE SO FUNNY.

I REALLY ENJOY YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.

OH, I'M GLAD. AND YOU...

YOU WOULD MAKE ME SO HAPPY

IF YOU WOULD CALL ME TOBY.

ALL RIGHT. TOBY IT IS.

HA HA HA. THANK YOU, AMANDA.

[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]

AH, WELL, UH, I WANT TO THANK YOU

FOR A DELIGHTFUL AFTERNOON.

OH, IT WAS MY PLEASURE.

WOULD YOU ALLOW ME TO ESCORT YOU

TO THE DANCE SATURDAY NIGHT?

OH, YES.

AND, UM...

WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO DINNER ON THURSDAY?

TRY AND STOP ME.

WHAT TIME SHALL I COME?

7:00.

TILL THURSDAY,

MY SOUTHERN ROSE.

[SAW BUZZING]

[GARVEY LAUGHING]

Toby: HMM... THAT'S PRETTY.

HMM, THAT'S PRETTY.

THAT'S PRETTY, TOO.

SO'S THAT.

WELL, TOBY...

WHAT SHALL IT BE?

WELL, THERE ARE SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM,

I--I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND.

WHICH ONE WOULD YOUR MISSIS LIKE?

- THE MOST EXPENSIVE ONE. - HA HA HA.

BUT IF YOU ASK ME, THIS IS THE PRETTIEST ONE.

I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'LL TAKE IT.

GOOD. I'VE GOT A LOVELY BOX FOR YOU.

IT'S SOMEWHERE IN THE STOREROOM. I'LL GET IT.

OH, THANKS, NELS.

BOY, I HOPE SHE LIKES IT.

[BELL RINGS]

UHH!

YOO-HOO!

ANYBODY HERE?

Nels: I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I'LL JUST LOOK AROUND.

BLANKETS...

OOH! DRESSES!

GREEN DOESN'T BECOME YOUR BEAUTY.

OH! OOH!

OH, MR. NOE! PEEK-A-BOO!

YOU DEVIL, YOU.

OH, SNEAKING IN HERE TO SURPRISE ME.

NO, I WASN'T SNEAKING IN TO...I--

HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING

ABOUT OUR PICNIC THE OTHER DAY?

EVERY TIME I TOUCH MY RIBS. I THINK THEY'RE BROKEN.

OH, I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THAT,

BUT YOU REMINDED ME SO MUCH OF MY LATE HUSBAND.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

NOW I KNOW HOW HE DIED.

[GIGGLING] OH...

BUT YOU'RE ALIVE.

HEH HEH.

HERE WE GO, TOBY.

- OH! - THANKS, NELS.

SETS IT OFF JUST RIGHT, DOESN'T IT?

OH, MR. NOE! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!

I--I DIDN'T!

OH, I KNOW YOU WANTED TO SURPRISE ME,

BUT, OH...

KISS ME!

KISS ME NOW!

Nels: WHOA!

AMANDA, THIS IS DELICIOUS.

YOU MEAN IT, TOBY?

OF COURSE I MEAN IT.

FOOD IS IMPORTANT TO ME.

MY FATHER ALWAYS SAID,

"SON, COOKING IS HALF OF A MARRIAGE."

OH...

AMANDA, I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

I WAS...GOING TO GIVE IT TO YOU ON YOUR BIRTHDAY,

BUT HERE.

OPEN IT.

IT'S, UM...

IT'S VERY PRETTY.

IT'S MY WAY OF SAYING

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL MY LIFE.

TOBY, UM...

I WANT YOU TO GO HOME NOW.

HOME?

WHY?

I JUST WANT YOU TO GO HOME, THAT'S ALL.

AMANDA, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR A LONG TIME,

AND WE ARE JUST TOO DIFFERENT,

YOU AND I.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

YOU--YOU NEED ME.

I DON'T NEED ANYONE.

TOBY, YOU HAVE BEEN A TRAMP MOST OF YOUR LIFE.

WHY, I COULD NEVER SETTLE DOWN

WITH ANYONE LIKE THAT. NEVER!

BUT I'M WORKING NOW, AND I'M WILLING TO...

TO WORK ALL THE REST OF MY DAYS.

IT JUST WOULDN'T WORK.

NOW, THERE ARE A MILLION REASONS.

BUT...WELL, NAME ONE.

UP TILL NOW, YOU'RE TALKING NONSENSE.

ALL RIGHT.

I'M GOING TO SAY THIS,

AND YOU ARE FORCING ME TO.

TOBY, YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR ME.

I MEAN IT, TOO OLD.

AND, UM...

UH, ANYWAY, UH, THE MAN I HAD IN MIND

IS, UM, MUCH BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU ARE.

I AM TRULY SORRY

THAT IT HAS TO END LIKE THIS.

HERE'S YOUR BROACH.

YOU KEEP IT.

IT WOULDN'T LOOK GOOD ON ME ANYWAY.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[CRYING]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG.

WHAT?

I KNOW SHE LIKED ME.

I DIDN'T DREAM THAT WHOLE AFTERNOON.

DID I?

WOMEN.

WOMEN. WHAT DO THEY WANT?

YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM,

YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM.

I'M SORRY.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M TELLING YOU ALL MY TROUBLES.

HA HA HA. I'LL GET YOU A DRINK.

[SLURRED SPEECH] THEN SHE TOLD ME I WAS TOO OLD

AND THAT I WAS A TRAMP.

I WORKED MY BUTT OFF TO GET THAT BROACH FOR HER,

AND SHE CALLED ME A TRAMP.

AND I TOOK IT.

I JUST SAT THERE AND TOOK IT.

WELL, I'M JUST GOING TO TELL HER WHAT'S WHAT.

[POUNDING ON DOOR]

Toby, yelling: OPEN UP! LET ME IN!

OPEN UP! OPEN UP!

GO HOME. YOU HEAR ME?

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!

IF YOU DON'T OPEN UP, I'LL YELL SO LOUD,

THE WHOLE TOWN WILL HEAR.

ALL RIGHT.

SPEAK YOUR PIECE. I NEED MY SLEEP.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL SPEAK MY PIECE.

FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE OLDER THAN I AM.

ANYONE CAN SEE THAT.

I'M DOING YOU THE FAVOR.

SECOND OF ALL,

I'M BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU.

DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME UGLY.

I NEVER SAID THAT.

THAT'S ALL A LOT OF LIES.

NONE OF THAT IS THE REAL REASON

WHY YOU'RE TRYING TO BREAK US UP.

YOU'RE AFRAID OF FEELINGS.

YOU'RE AFRAID OF LIVING.

YOU'RE AFRAID OF NEEDING ME.

THAT IS RIDICULOUS.

NOT SO RIDICULOUS AS TALKING TO THAT DUMB CAT.

[MEOW]

YOU HAVE SAID YOUR PIECE. YOU CAN GO NOW.

I HAD LOVED YOU.

SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

TALKING TO THAT DUMB CAT.

Charles: EVERY SUBJECT ISN'T MY FAVORITE SUBJECT.

YOU GOT TO WORK AT IT.

- GOOD MORNING, TOBY. - MORNING.

I'LL GET YOUR BREAKFAST FOR YOU.

OH, NO, THANK YOU, CAROLINE.

I'M NOT HUNGRY.

CHARLES, I'D APPRECIATE IT

IF YOU'D TAKE ME TO THE TRAIN STATION TODAY.

SURE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, TOBY.

TOBY, PLEASE DON'T GO.

SHE WAS MEAN TO YOU. WE WEREN'T.

AND THE DANCE IS TONIGHT.

WHO'S GOING TO PLAY THE ACCORDION?

PLEASE, TOBY.

STAY WITH US, PLEASE.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL GO THE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

HALF-PINT?

HEY, COME ON. EVERYBODY'S READY.

DO I HAVE TO GO, PA?

NOW, COME ON. ONCE YOU GET THERE,

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

CAN'T I JUST STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF BABY GRACE?

MRS. TERHUNE IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF BABY GRACE.

AND YOU TOLD ME YOURSELF

THERE'S GOING TO BE A LOT OF GIRLS THERE WITHOUT BEAUS.

YEAH, NELLIE OLESON.

AND THE ONLY REASON WHY BOYS WILL ASK HER TO DANCE

IS BECAUSE SHE BRINGS A 10-POUND BAG OF CANDY WITH HER.

LOTS OF BOYS ARE GOING TO ASK YOU TO DANCE,

AND BESIDES, I WANT TO HAVE A DANCE

WITH MY BEST GIRL, TOO.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.

THAT'S MY GIRL.

WHAT A FUN NIGHT.

I GET TO DANCE WITH MY BROTHER AND MY PA.

[ACCORDION PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE]

ISN'T THIS NICE, PERCY?

JUST YOU AND ME ON MY BIRTHDAY.

[MEOW]

THEY PLAY THAT MUSIC SO LOUD, IT...

IT WOULD WAKE THE DEAD.

PROBABLY THAT TOBY NOE'S FAULT.

HE'S SO OLD, HE DIDN'T KNOW HE'S DEAF.

HE CAN'T EVEN HEAR IT.

STOP PLAYING WITH THAT BROACH.

DID YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

[MEOW]

WELL, OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T.

YOU'RE A CAT.

I'M TALKING TO A CAT.

I AM TALKING TO A CAT!

THAT MAN LOVES ME,

AND I'M TALKING TO A CAT.

[LIVELY SONG PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

BEAUTIFUL DREAMER.

[PLAYING BEAUTIFUL DREAMER]

LAURA?

I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU A TOAD FACE.

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOUR QUESTION.

CAN I HAVE THIS DANCE?