Original subtitles

[LAUGHTER]

ONWARD, CHILDREN. KEEP UP WITH LONDON.

Albert: LONDON? IS YOUR LAST NAME BRIDGES?

[LAUGHTER]

London: I HAVE NO LAST NAME, NO FIRST NAME EITHER,

JUST LONDON.

Laura: LONDON, ENGLAND, OR LONDON, ONTARIO?

London: NEITHER ONE. I'M NOT FROM ANYWHERE.

YOU SEE, I WASN'T BORN. I JUST APPEARED ONE DAY ON TOP OF A HILL,

LIKE THIS, FULLY FORMED, WALKING, AND, OF COURSE, TALKING.

Children: WOW!

Laura: HOW MUCH CAN WE EARN, LONDON?

London: AHA.

THE SWEET VOICE OF REASON...

AND NATURALLY, IT'S A FEMALE VOICE.

TO ALL OF THOSE WHO PITCH IN AND DO THEIR DARNEDEST,

A FRESHLY WASHED, UNBELIEVABLY SHINY NICKEL.

-YEAH! -WOW!

London: AND A SINGLE DUCAT.

ONE, COUNT IT, ONE DUCAT...

TO THE ONE AND ONLY PERFORMANCE IN WALNUT GROVE

THIS COMING SATURDAY NIGHT

OF THE BEST LITTLE OLD TRAVELING CIRCUS

IN THE MIDWESTERN U.S. OF A. AND CANADA.

Children: YAY!

-TO WORK! -YAY!

Man: BRING THEM UP, NOW.

London: AH, GOOD WORK, GOOD WORK.

I CAN SEE THERE ARE NO SLACKERS HERE.

Albert: NO, SIR.

YOU'RE AN EXCELLENT WORKFORCE.

I INTEND TO MENTION THIS TO MR. OLESON.

Willie: I COULD TELL HIM. HE'S MY PA.

OH, WELL. I'M VERY GRATEFUL TO YOUR PA

FOR INVITING US TO YOUR LOVELY COMMUNITY.

YOU CAN TELL YOUR PA THAT I WON'T BE ABLE

TO MAKE OUR LITTLE PARADE INTO TOWN,

BUT I WILL SEE HIM AFTERWARD,

WITH PLENTY OF FINE WORDS ABOUT HIS PROGENY.

YES, SIR.

WHAT'S PROGENY?

IT'S YOU.

IF IT'S SOMETHING ABOUT ME,

IT CAN'T BE GOOD.

[BAND PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

WELCOME TO WALNUT GROVE.

WHERE'S YOUR BOSS-- LONDON? I DON'T SEE HIM.

[LAUGHTER]

UH, OH, YEAH. I SEE, I SEE.

UH, WELL, UH, I HOPE HE MAKES THE FEED.

YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SPREAD ACROSS THE WAY THERE

FOR ALL YOU CIRCUS FOLKS,

AS MUCH AS YOU CAN EAT FOR NOTHING.

[LAUGHS]

YOU CAN LET THE OTHERS KNOW?

GOOD.

THANK YOU.

Harriet: OH, LOOK! DID YOU EVER SEE SO MUCH AVOIRDUPOIS?

[HARRIET LAUGHING]

Harriet: I KEEP FORGETTING YOU'RE A FARMER.

FAT! ALL THAT FAT!

Harriet: HEAVENS!

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING--

NELS! NELS! DID YOU SEE THE FAT LADY?

Nels: YES. YES, I SAW HER.

Harriet: OH, MY. GOODNESS' SAKES! LOOK AT THAT!

NELS.

WHAT?

WHAT'S WRONG?

WRONG?

YES. YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE.

OH, SO I AM.

WELL, DON'T YOU THINK

THAT YOU SHOULD BE OVER AT THE RESTAURANT?

THE CIRCUS PEOPLE WILL BE COMING PRETTY SOON.

IF YOU'RE NOT THERE, IT'S GOING TO BE KIND OF EMBARRASSING.

I THINK I'VE GOT A TOUCH OF MY STOMACH TROUBLE.

OH, NONSENSE. JUST NERVES.

I'LL HAVE NELLIE FIX YOU A NICE GLASS OF SODA WATER.

COME ON.

COME ON. OH, NELS!

YOU ARE GOING TO BE A GRACIOUS HOST NOW,

WARM AND OUTGOING.

THAT'S ME, ALL RIGHT.

YES. YOU'LL DO A GOOD JOB

ONCE YOU THINK IT THROUGH AGAIN

AND REALIZE WHAT'S AT STAKE.

MONEY IS AT STAKE, NELS.

MONEY!

DO YOU REALIZE THAT THERE WERE 20, MAYBE 30 FOLKS

IN TOWN TODAY, HUH, IN THE STORE?

FOLKS WHO HAVEN'T BEEN IN TOWN

FOR I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG.

THEY WERE SPENDING, NELS.

THEY WERE SPENDING.

WELL, MAYBE I OUGHT TO KEEP THE STORE OPEN DURING LUNCH.

OH, COME ON.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO KEEP THE STORE OPEN DURING LUNCH.

THEY WILL JUST WAIT UNTIL THE STORE OPENS AFTER.

LET US BEGIN! THE LEADING LADY IS HERE!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

HERE. [SIGHS]

YOU KNOW THE CLOWN THAT CRIES?

MM-HMM.

WELL, HE CAN'T TALK IN REAL LIFE,

NOT JUST IN HIS ACT.

Caroline: THEN HE'S MADE THE BEST OF HIS SITUATION, HASN'T HE?

Laura: HE'S A SAD MAN

WITH A SAD CLOWN'S FACE.

LAURA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IT'S FOR THE FAT LADY.

Caroline: OH!

OH, YOU THINK SHE MIGHT BE EMBARRASSED?

YOU'RE RIGHT.

IF SHE WANTS ANOTHER SERVING,

TELL ME, AND I'LL MAKE IT.

YES, MA'AM.

Nels: I GUESS I'D BETTER GET IN THERE.

[CHUCKLES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[LAUGHS]

OH, I LOVE THIS... [LAUGHS]

WHAT ON EARTH HAS BEEN GOING ON OUT THERE IN THE KITCHEN?

YOU'VE BEEN GONE FOREVER!

I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF EVERYTHING WAS SHIPSHAPE.

OH, WELL, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES.

WILLIE!

WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT FOOD?

Willie: I GOT A TALL ORDER.

UNBELIEVABLE!

[CHUCKLES]

SHE EATS LIKE SHE'S A STARVING ELEPHANT.

[LAUGHS]

I FORGOT SOMETHING AT THE STORE.

OH.

HEY, MISTER.

HEY, WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH THERE, KID.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT ANNABELLE.

SHE'S REALLY DEPRESSED.

ANNABELLE?

MAY WE TALK TO YOU?

SURE, MY LOVES. COME IN.

GATHER AROUND. COME.

WHY THE LONG FACES?

WE'RE SAD BECAUSE YOU'RE SAD.

COME ON, ANNABELLE. WE'RE FAMILY, REMEMBER?

TELL US, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

[SIGHS]

WELL, YOU KNOW THAT MR. OLESON, OUR HOST?

London: MM-HMM.

WELL, HE'S MY BROTHER.

HE DIDN'T KNOW I WAS WITH THE CIRCUS,

AND I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS AN IMPORTANT BUSINESSMAN

HERE IN WALNUT GROVE...

OR ANYWHERE, FOR THAT MATTER.

I JUST SAW HIM AT LUNCH,

AND YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED.

HE LOOKED RIGHT AT ME.

IF HE'D ONLY SMILED...

JUST SHOWN ME A LITTLE LOVE...

I WOULD HAVE WALKED RIGHT OVER TO HIM

AND GIVEN HIM ONE OF MY EXTRA-SPECIAL PATENTED BEAR HUGS.

YOU KNOW THE KIND!

BUT HE DIDN'T.

HE JUST LOOKED AWAY.

AND I KNEW THEN...

I KNEW HE WAS STILL ASHAMED OF ME...

ASHAMED OF ME AND MY BULK.

YOU KNOW, IT WAS EVEN LIKE THAT WHEN WE WERE KIDS.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR BULK?

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH MY SIZE?

London: NOTHING. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ANY OF US,

BUT SOMETIMES PEOPLE ON THE OUTSIDE GET CRAZY NOTIONS.

ANNABELLE, IT HURTS ME TO SEE YOU IN PAIN.

WHEN HER BROTHER LOOKED AWAY FROM HER,

HE LOOKED AWAY FROM ALL OF US.

-YEAH! -THAT'S TRUE.

WHY DON'T WE PACK UP AND GO?

Woman: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. COME ON!

London: NO, NO, OWEN, WE CAN'T.

I SIGNED A LETTER OF AGREEMENT

ON BEHALF OF ALL OF US.

Owen: OH, WHO CARES ABOUT HIM ANYWAY?

WE'RE YOUR BROTHERS, NOT MR. OLESON.

WE LOVE YOU.

AND I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU, OWEN.

THANK YOU.

I'M ALL RIGHT.

I'M GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.

[SIGHS]

OH, NELS, CAN'T YOU SLEEP?

I GUESS I'M NOT TIRED.

[YAWNS] NELS...

YOU'VE HAD SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND ALL DAY LONG.

WELL, THIS IS

SUCH A BIG PROMOTION FOR US.

WELL, WORRY ISN'T GOING TO HELP IT ANY.

WELL, MAYBE A GLASS OF HOT MILK WILL HELP.

YEAH.

[SOBBING]

[WHISTLING]

HOW IS IT, MA?

OH, WELL! THAT LOOKS WONDERFUL,

LITTLE PUMPKINSEED. MWAH!

OH, NOW, WILLIE, LISTEN.

I WANT YOU TO PLASTER THESE THINGS ALL OVER TOWN.

ON THE OUTHOUSES, TOO?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ON THE OUTHOUSES, TOO?

THAT WAY, EVERYBODY WILL SEE THEM.

[LAUGHS]

OH, YOU ARE BRILLIANT, AREN'T YOU?

THAT'S MALE LOGIC. YES, YES. DO IT.

Harriet: * TA TA TA TA

* TA TA TA TA TA TA

[KISSES]

OH, "COURTESY OF OLESON'S MERCANTILE."

HA HA! IT HAS A VERY SPECIAL RING TO IT, DOESN'T IT?

IT'S GOOD FOR BUSINESS, TOO.

OH, NOTHING WARMS THE COCKLES OF MY HEART

LIKE A GOOD STEADY FLOW OF CASH.

YEAH. WE'RE DOING ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT? WE'RE DOING VERY WELL.

NELS?

I WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS OVER TO THE BIG TOP

AND HANG IT SOMEPLACE

WHERE EVERYBODY WILL SEE IT.

I CAN'T DO THAT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU CAN'T DO THAT?

I'VE GOT TO MAKE A DELIVERY AT THE BLIND SCHOOL.

OH, NELS, YOU CAN DO THAT LATER.

WELL, THEY'RE EXPECTING IT NOW.

NELS, WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

EVER SINCE WE STARTED THE PROMOTION

FOR THIS CIRCUS-- I DON'T KNOW--

YOU'VE BEEN ACTING SO QUEERLY.

OH, NEVER MIND.

I'LL DO IT MYSELF,

AND THAT WAY, WE WILL AVOID ANY HAGGLING

ABOUT WHERE IT SHOULD BE PUT.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

[LAUGHS]

I JUST HAD A WONDERFUL IDEA.

WHAT?

[LAUGHS]

WHY DON'T WE TAKE THIS SIGN

AND PUT IT ON THE BACKSIDE OF THE FAT LADY?

[LAUGHS]

THAT'S FUNNY.

[SNORTS]

HA HA HA!

THAT WAY, EVERYBODY WILL SEE!

[LAUGHS]

MRS. OLESON, YOU HAVE AT ONCE AN EYE

FOR THE ARTISTIC AND THE COMMERCIAL.

AH, THE ELOQUENCE OF SIMPLICITY.

OH, YES, IT IS RATHER ELEGANT, ISN'T IT?

IT'S REALLY STARTING TO LOOK GOOD.

AH, YOUR CHILDREN ARE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB.

ALL THE CHILDREN

ARE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB.

I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.

HEY, I LIKE YOUR SIGN, MRS. OLESON.

YES!

I'VE GOT A FAVOR TO ASK OF YOU, LONDON.

OH, PLEASE DO.

WE'VE GOT A BLIND SCHOOL RIGHT OUTSIDE OF TOWN.

THERE'S A LOT OF LITTLE CHILDREN THERE.

I THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE

IF ONE OF THE PERFORMERS FROM THE CIRCUS

COULD GO OUT AND TALK TO THEM A LITTLE BIT.

OF COURSE. ANNABELLE WOULD BE PERFECT.

-OH, THE FAT LADY. -YES. SHE'S WONDERFUL WITH CHILDREN.

SHE'D BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO GO.

YOU'LL PROBABLY FIND HER IN HER QUARTERS.

APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH. THANK YOU.

CERTAINLY.

EXCELLENT, CHILDREN. EXCELLENT.

WHERE'S THE SAD CLOWN? I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM ALL DAY.

AH, I DON'T KNOW, BUT DON'T WORRY.

HE'S LIKE THAT. HE'LL GO OFF BY HIMSELF FOR HOURS.

ALL BY HIMSELF?

YES. HE JUST DISAPPEARS.

I FEEL SO SORRY FOR HIM.

SOMETHING TERRIBLE MUST HAVE HAPPENED TO HIM.

WELL, WE'LL NEVER KNOW. HE HASN'T SPOKEN SINCE I SIGNED HIM ON.

NEVER?

NEVER. I CAUGHT HIM CLEARING HIS THROAT ONCE,

AND I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING,

BUT IT TURNED OUT ALL HE WAS DOING WAS CLEARING HIS THROAT.

EXCUSE ME, MY DEAR.

IF YOU'RE HELPING, HELP.

SORRY, LONDON.

YES, QUICK, EFFICIENT HANDS, CHILDREN. COME ON. RIGHT THERE.

HYAH! HYAH!

Annabelle: WELL, WE HAVE A DOG TRAINER, TOO.

OHH, THE TRICKS HE MAKES THOSE LITTLE DOGGIES DO,

YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT!

I KNOW. MAYBE AFTER THE SHOW,

YOU CAN ALL COME UP AND PET THE DOGS.

-WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? -YEAH!

AND THEN THERE'S ME.

YOU'VE BEEN LISTENING TO MY VOICE FOR A WHILE NOW.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I DO?

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

Hester-Sue: WAIT. LET'S TAKE IT ONE AT A TIME.

SUSAN.

WELL, YOU WEAR A BEAUTIFUL SPANGLED COSTUME.

IT'S REAL DARING AND REAL SHORT,

AND YOU COME IN ON THE ELEPHANT'S TRUNK.

NOT REALLY.

Hester-Sue: ROSCUE.

YOU GET IN A BOX,

AND A MAGICIAN SAWS YOU IN HALF.

Annabelle: NOT REALLY.

I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.

I'M WITH THE SIDESHOW.

I KNOW. YOU HAVE A BEARD!

[LAUGHTER]

SOME LADIES HAVE BEARDS.

I HEARD IT ONCE.

Annabelle: OH, NOW, DON'T LAUGH. ROSCUE IS RIGHT.

SOME LADIES DO HAVE BEARDS,

BUT I DON'T.

GIVE UP?

All: YEAH.

I'M THE FAT LADY.

Children: NO!

UH-HUH. I BET YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, HUH?

Kids: NO.

Annabelle: WELL, I AM. I TELL YOU,

YOU ALL COME UP HERE. LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF MY VOICE.

I'LL KEEP TALKING.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW WHAT A REAL LIFE FAT LADY FEELS LIKE.

YOU WALK AROUND ME NOW AND FEEL ME.

COME ON. FEEL ME.

ALL RIGHT. IS SHE SOFT AND SQUISHY

OR IS SHE HARD LIKE THE SIDE OF A BARN?

Susan: SOFT AND SQUISHY.

Roscue: IT'S LIKE TWO PEOPLE.

COME ON. ALL AROUND, ALL AROUND THE EQUATOR.

THERE'S THE EASTERN HEMISPHERE,

AND THERE'S THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.

DON'T YOU TICKLE ME IN ANY HEMISPH--

SPHERE.

MR. OLESON.

HESTER-SUE, I'VE GOT THOSE SUPPLIES YOU ORDERED.

THANK YOU.

WHOA. WHOA. I'M READING THAT.

YOU FELL ASLEEP.

DON'T BE SILLY. I DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP. DID I?

YES.

TOO MUCH OF YOUR MA'S GOOD COOKING.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY COOKING?

OH, NOTHING. HE JUST SAID HE HAD TOO MUCH OF IT.

OH, LAURA, THIS DRESS IS LOVELY.

CHRISTIE WILL LOOK SO PRETTY IN THIS.

THANKS, MA.

I JUST WISH IT WERE FOR SOMEONE A LITTLE NICER.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH CHRISTIE NORTON?

SHE SURE SEEMED LIKE A NICE, PRETTY GIRL TO ME.

THAT'S JUST IT. SHE'S PERFECT.

SHE ALWAYS HAS TO BE PERFECT!

I BET SHE DOESN'T EVEN SWEAT.

[CHUCKLES]

LAURA, THAT WILL BE QUITE ENOUGH.

NOW, WHEN PEOPLE PAY US TO DO A JOB,

WE DON'T TALK BEHIND THEIR BACKS.

Albert: HOMEWORK'S ALL DONE.

-ALL OF IT? -YUP.

GOOD.

Albert: I'M GOING TO BED. I'M POOPED.

YOU'RE TIRED.

OH, SURE AM.

GOOD NIGHT, MA.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, PA.

Charles: HAVE A GOOD SLEEP, LAD.

Albert: HEY, LAURA. DO YOU WANT MY CIRCUS TICKET?

WHY? YOU WORKED HARD FOR IT.

WELL, I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO ASK ALMANZO.

ALMANZO?

WHY WOULD I WANT TO ASK ALMANZO?

Albert: WELL, I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO.

BOYS. THEY THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING.

GIRLS...

THEY DON'T KNOW NOTHING.

ANYTHING!

THAT'S THE TRUTH.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, SON.

LAURA, YOUR BROTHER WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NICE.

I KNOW.

I'LL GO APOLOGIZE.

ALBERT?

WHAT?

I'M SORRY I WAS RUDE.

YEAH...

WELL, NEXT TIME, JUST SAY, "NO, THANK YOU.

I DON'T WANT THE TICKET."

BUT I DO.

YOU DO WHAT?

I WANT THE TICKET.

BUT YOU JUST SAID--

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ASKED ME IN FRONT OF PA,

AND IT MADE ME FEEL FUNNY.

OH.

CAN I STILL HAVE IT?

SURE.

THANKS, ALBERT.

GOOD NIGHT, LAURA.

GOOD NIGHT.

I APOLOGIZED.

GOOD GIRL.

Albert: LAURA,

YOU BETTER ASK ALMANZO TO THE CIRCUS FIRST THING IN THE MORNING,

OR HE MIGHT MAKE OTHER PLANS. GOOD NIGHT.

WELL, MANLY...

YOU SEE, I'VE GOT THESE TWO TICKETS TO THE CIRCUS,

AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO GO TO WASTE,

SO I THOUGHT, "WHY DON'T YOU ASK MANLY?"

THAT SOUNDS DUMB.

"I DON'T WANT THEM TO GO TO WASTE."

I'LL JUST BE HONEST.

NO, I CAN'T BE HONEST.

I WISH I COULD BE HONEST.

OH, MANLY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

PLEASE GO TO THE CIRCUS WITH ME.

I'LL JUST BE FRIENDLY, THAT'S ALL.

WOULD YOU STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF AND JUST DO IT?

WELL, HI, BETH.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN STANDING THERE?

I JUST GOT HERE.

CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A SACK OF GRAIN?

CAN I INTEREST YOU IN...

GOING TO THE CIRCUS...

WITH ME?

OH, I'D LIKE TO, BETH, BUT I CAN'T DO IT.

OH.

I ALREADY HAVE TWO TICKETS,

ONE FOR ME AND ONE FOR A LADY I ASKED.

OH. WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

I JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE THIS EXTRA TICKET.

SURE NICE OF YOU TO OFFER IT TO ME.

WELL, I WAS JUST THINKING THAT...

WHO DO I KNOW WHO'S NEW IN TOWN,

AND MIGHT NOT KNOW ANY OTHER PEOPLE,

AND MIGHT NOT WANT TO GO TO THE CIRCUS BY HIMSELF?

I THOUGHT OF MY GOOD FRIEND MANLY.

Woman: ALMANZO!

Almanzo: HI!

CHRISTIE NORTON, THIS IS LAURA INGALLS.

WE KNOW EACH OTHER.

I'M VERY WORRIED ABOUT MY DRESS.

DON'T BE.

I SAID I'D HAVE IT READY FOR YOU BY 5:00 TOMORROW AFTERNOON.

AT 5:00, IT'LL BE AT YOUR FOLKS' HOUSE.

YOU SHOULD HAVE DROPPED BY AND REASSURED ME.

WHEN WILL YOU PICK ME UP?

Almanzo: WELL, THE CIRCUS BEGINS ABOUT 7:30.

HOW ABOUT ABOUT A QUARTER TO 7:00?

Christie: GOOD.

I WANT TO GET SOME AUTUMN SEEDS.

SURE. SEE YOU, BETH.

Christie: I HOPE THAT CHILD FINISHES MY DRESS ON TIME.

I DO SO WANT TO LOOK LOVELY FOR YOU.

HERE'S YOUR TICKET, ALBERT.

WHAT HAPPENED?

ALMANZO HAS A DATE WITH CHRISTIE.

OH, HE'S TAKING OUT MISS SNOOTY-PANTS, HUH?

LAURA, ALMANZO IS TOO OLD FOR YOU.

IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

WELL, IN ALL THE FAMOUS MARRIAGES,

THE MAN IS MUCH OLDER THAN THE WOMAN.

NOT MA AND PA.

THEY'RE NOT FAMOUS.

TAKE MY ADVICE.

FORGET ABOUT ALMANZO.

I'M AS SAD AS YOU ARE...

OR AT LEAST AS SAD AS YOU LOOK.

WE'RE ALIKE, YOU AND ME.

BOTH SAD AND WE CAN'T TELL ANYBODY WHY.

I MEAN...

WELL, ALBERT SORT OF KNOWS...

BUT NOT REALLY.

I CAN'T TELL HIM HOW I FEEL,

BECAUSE HE MIGHT UP AND TELL PA.

I COULD TELL YOU, THOUGH.

I NEED TO TELL SOMEBODY.

YOU SEE...

I LOVE SOMEONE.

HIS NAME IS ALMANZO.

I CALL HIM MANLY.

I'M A LITTLE TOO YOUNG FOR HIM JUST NOW...

BUT IF HE'D JUST WAIT AWHILE...

THAT'S WHY I'M SAD.

I'M AFRAID HE'S GOING TO FALL IN LOVE

AND MARRY SOMEONE ELSE

BEFORE I GET A CHANCE TO BE OLD ENOUGH.

QUE SERA, SERA.

YOU...

YES, CHILD. LONDON.

THIS IS MY CLOWN ACT.

DO THE OTHERS KNOW?

OF COURSE.

WE ALL LIVE AND WORK TOGETHER.

WE HAVE NO SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER.

OH, MY GOSH.

YOU WON'T TELL ANYBODY WHAT I TOLD YOU.

OF COURSE NOT.

AND YOU, IN TURN, WON'T TELL MY SECRET?

CROSS MY HEART.

YOU SURE HAD ME FOOLED.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE SO SAD.

I KNOW, BUT MY BRAND OF SADNESS MAKES OTHERS HAPPY.

AS SAD AS I AM, I'D HAVE MADE A GOOD CLOWN.

AND SO YOU SHALL BE.

WHAT?

A CLOWN.

WE SOMETIMES USE ONE OR 2 YOUNG PEOPLE AS CLOWN HELPERS.

IT'LL TAKE YOUR MIND OFF YOUR TROUBLES.

A CLOWN.

ME A CLOWN.

LONDON...

IF YOU MADE ME UP AS A CLOWN,

WOULD OTHER FOLKS KNOW IT WAS ME?

DID YOU KNOW I WAS ME?

Albert: NOT UNTIL NOW.

Laura: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN STANDING THERE?

LONG ENOUGH.

CAN I BE A CLOWN, TOO?

WILL YOU KEEP OUR SECRET?

YOU BET.

ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE.

[LAUGHS] HERE.

THERE.

[LAUGHTER]

DON'T SQUIRM, PA.

I'LL SQUIRM IF I FEEL LIKE IT.

-OW! -OH, I'M SORRY.

Willie: YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK REAL IMPORTANT, PA.

WELL, I DON'T FEEL IMPORTANT.

OH, NONSENSE.

I THINK IT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA

THAT THE SPONSOR OF THE CIRCUS

SHOULD BECOME THE RINGMASTER.

BESIDES, YOU DESERVE IT.

LONDON OUGHT TO DO IT.

HE'S THE PROFESSIONAL, NOT ME.

OH, NO.

HE'S NOTHING BUT THE ADVANCE MAN.

THE RINGMASTER OUGHT TO BE LOUD AND FUNNY.

WELL, YOU CAN BE LOUD,

AND I HEARD YOU SAY SOMETHING FUNNY ONCE.

ANYHOW,

THERE CERTAINLY OUGHT TO BE A LOT OF JOKES

WITH THAT FAT LADY.

YOU COULD, UH...

YOU COULD COMPARE HER TO A SHIP.

[CHUCKLES]

"PRESENTING THE S.S. ANNABELLE!"

[LAUGHTER]

YOU COULD USE WORDS LIKE GROSS TONNAGE

AND DISPLACEMENT,

AND ANCHORS A-WEIGHT. [LAUGHTER]

OR A WHALE.

I GOT IT.

WHEN THE ELEPHANT COMES IN,

YOU COULD SAY YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ANNABELLE

IN A GRAY DRESS.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S ENOUGH! THAT IS ENOUGH!

NELS!

THAT FAT LADY IS MY SISTER!

[LAUGHS] OH!

SHE IS MY SISTER.

Annabelle: LOOKING FOR ME, NELS?

ANNABELLE...

DON'T WORRY, NELS.

I WON'T TELL ANY OF YOUR TOWNSPEOPLE ABOUT US.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU TELL THEM OR DON'T.

MY DEAR, SWEET FLESH AND BLOOD...

YOU CARE SO MUCH...

SO MUCH.

REMEMBER HOW YOU USED TO GET UP AT 5:00 IN THE MORNING

SO YOU COULD WASH AND DRESS,

EVEN FIX YOUR OWN PORRIDGE,

SO YOU COULD WALK TO SCHOOL ALONE?

THEY USED TO SAY AT THE SCHOOLHOUSE

THAT YOU WERE THERE

BEFORE THEY LIT THE FURNACE IN THE MORNING.

YOU PREFERRED SITTING OUT THERE IN THE COLD

RATHER THAN BE SEEN WALKING TO SCHOOL WITH ME, YOUR OWN SISTER.

DON'T YOU THINK I KNEW IT, NELS?

I KNEW IT THEN, AND I ACCEPTED IT,

JUST AS I ACCEPT YOUR BEHAVIOR NOW.

NOTHING CHANGES.

I WENT TO SCHOOL EARLY BECAUSE I...

STRANGE.

I WAS GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING UP.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE A PLACE IN THIS LIFE.

I WAS PUT HERE ON THIS PLANET FOR A PURPOSE.

MAYBE NOT AN EXALTED PURPOSE,

BUT A PURPOSE.

YOU KNOW, I MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH.

AND THAT MAKES THEM FEEL GOOD.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT A BAD THING TO DO, NELS.

ANNABELLE, FORGIVE ME.

THERE'S NOTHING TO FORGIVE.

I HELPED DRIVE YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE.

I INSULTED YOU, SO YOU HAD TO LEAVE.

I WANTED TO LEAVE,

ONLY I DIDN'T HAVE THE COURAGE UNTIL THAT MOMENT.

YOU KNOW, NELS, IN A WAY, YOU DID ME A BIG FAVOR.

I'M REALLY HAPPY.

I HAVE A BIG FAMILY, AND THEY LOVE ME,

AND I LOVE THEM.

London: ANNABELLE.

COMING.

[CHUCKLES]

SO SKINNY.

STILL SO SKINNY.

GO ON HOME TO YOUR FAMILY.

FINISHED?

AT LAST.

OH, LAURA, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

WILL YOU BE HOME IN TIME TO CLEAN UP FOR THE CIRCUS?

YOU BET I WILL.

LAURA, IT'S NOT FINISHED.

THE SKIRT'S JUST BASTED.

WELL, I MEANT ALMOST FINISHED.

ALL RIGHT. WILL YOU BE ABLE TO DELIVER IT IN TIME?

OH, SURE.

-BYE. -BYE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

HERE'S YOUR DRESS.

LET ME SEE.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE BY 5:00.

I KNOW.

IT'S 5 AFTER.

WELL, I DIDN'T THINK

THAT 5 MINUTES WOULD RUIN YOUR EVENING.

DON'T YOU BE FLIP WITH ME, LITTLE GIRL.

YOU WERE TO HAVE THE DRESS HERE BY 5:00, AND YOU DIDN'T,

SO I'M ONLY GOING TO PAY YOU HALF.

HALF?

THAT'S CORRECT.

MAYBE THAT WILL TEACH YOU A LESSON.

HERE. TAKE IT. IT'S ALL YOU'RE GETTING.

I COULDN'T ACCEPT IT.

I WAS LATE, AND I WAS WRONG.

NO CHARGE.

NO CHARGE?

THAT'S RIGHT. IT'D BE ON MY CONSCIENCE.

WELL, I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU'VE LEARNED A LESSON.

MY PA SAYS IT'S GOOD FOR FOLKS TO LEARN A LESSON ONCE IN A WHILE.

I BETTER BE GOING.

HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME.

NELS... 5 MINUTES!

YES, DEAR.

"YES, DEAR."

"YES, DEAR."

I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU HAVE MORE SPIRIT TONIGHT AT THE CIRCUS.

I WILL.

MM-HMM.

WELL, JUST THINK OF IT THIS WAY,

IT'LL BE ALL OVER TONIGHT,

AND SHE WILL BE ON HER WAY.

YES, I KNOW.

WELL, THEN SMILE.

NOBODY KNOWS SHE'S YOUR SISTER, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

BUT SHE IS MY SISTER.

WELL, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

IF SHE CARED FOR YOU AT ALL, SHE WOULDN'T LOOK THAT WAY.

SHE OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF HERSELF.

I'M THE ONE WHO IS ASHAMED.

HUH?

NOTHING, HARRIET.

WELL, COME ALONG, THEN.

OUR PUBLIC AWAITS. [LAUGHS]

COME ALONG.

* LA LA DI DI LA LA... *

[MUSIC, APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

LET'S HAVE A REALLY BIG HAND FOR THE LONDON'S CIRCUS!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

UH...

THE TWISTING, TWIRLING, SOMERSAULTING ACROBATS...

THE... [DRUM ROLL]

THE SAUNDERS TROUPE! WHAT...

THE SAUNDERS TROUPE!

Charles: HEY, THERE'S A COUPLE OF CLOWNS,

AND ONE'S GOT A BIG BUCKET OF WATER.

HE'S GOING TO THROW IT ON THE OTHER ONE!

HEY, LOOK OUT! THEY'RE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!

OH!

[LAUGHTER]

AWW...

[LAUGHS]

Nels: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS,

PRESENTING TARA, THE BABY ELEPHANT!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

CIRCUSES ARE REALLY FOR CHILDREN, DON'T YOU THINK, MANNY?

I DON'T KNOW.

I KIND OF LIKE THEM MYSELF.

WELL, I HOPE WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY FOR THE WHOLE THING.

OH!

OH, I LOVE THIS.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE LAURA AND ALBERT ARE?

NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM.

OUR NEXT ACT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

HEY, HEY! WHAT? WAIT A MINUTE! HEY!

[CROWD LAUGHING AND CHEERING]

DID YOU SEE THAT?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

OH, I THOUGHT IT WAS WATER.

Willie: I WISH THAT CONFETTI WAS REAL WATER.

AND SEE YOUR FATHER DOUSED?

Harriet: AND RUIN HIS BRAND-NEW SUIT? OH!

YOU PEOPLE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

LOOK. OH, LOOK!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

Caroline: THAT'S ALBERT. THAT'S ALBERT.

OH, IT'S ALBERT!

LOOK, THAT'S ALBERT.

Mary: WHAT'S HAPPENING?

THE LITTLE CLOWN'S CHASING THE BIG CLOWN AGAIN

WITH A BUCKET OF WATER.

I BET IT'S JUST GOT CONFETTI IN IT AGAIN.

WHAT HAPPENED?

[LAUGHS] IT HAD WATER IN IT!

AND SHE'S IN HER BLOOMERS!

Nels: NOW, HIGH IN THE AIR,

THE DARING DUO OF THE SILVER STRAND...

Laura: HI, MA.

Nels: ...THE FEARLESS ZELLERS!

Caroline: LAURA INGALLS, YOU LITTLE DEVIL.

[WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE]

Crowd: OOH! [APPLAUSE]

YAY!

AH...

CHOO!

BLESS YOU.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

Nels: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

ANNABELLE AND COMPANY!

UGH! THE FAT LADY.

HA HA! ENJOY, CHILDREN. ENJOY.

THANK HEAVENS NOBODY KNOWS THAT SHE'S RELATED TO US.

ACT NATURAL. PRETEND. ISN'T SHE GOOD?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

ON BEHALF OF...

ON BEHALF OF ALL THE FOLKS OF WALNUT GROVE,

I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR GIVING US THRILLS

AND MAKING US LAUGH.

THAT'S A PRETTY WONDERFUL THING TO BE ABLE TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE,

MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY.

AND I AM PROUD TO SAY...

THAT ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO HELPED MAKE YOU HAPPY TONIGHT

IS SOMEONE VERY CLOSE TO MY HEART--

MY SISTER...ANNABELLE.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING, MUSIC STARTS]