All language subtitles for How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life (1968) 1080p WEBRip x264-RARBG 2 English

* Strange

* How the winds of change

* Blew across my heart

* Since I met you

* Strange

* How the seeds of change

* Made the laughter start

* Where tears once grew

* We played the game
So many play

* To kiss and love
Another day

* But those in love
Can't run away forever

* Till I was hurt
I didn't know

* That I could say
I loved him so

* And mean each word
I never meant before

* Now I know it's you

* You forever more

* It's so strange

* How the winds of change

* Blew across my life

* And brought me love

* Love

* Warm and strong and true

* Time will never change

* My love for you

Miss Corman.

Miss Corman!

Miss Corman,
have you reconsidered
my invitation for tonight?

Mr. Bauer, I do not
care to have dinner
in your apartment.

I think you'll find
my place fascinating.

I collect unusually
interesting items.

Like salesgirls who are
afraid to lose their jobs?

Now, Miss Yardley is
being married.

That will leave
an executive opening
in merchandising.

Now, as personnel manager,
it is my decision as to
who will replace her.

A subject we
might discuss tonight

over vintage wine,
soft music.

You find
my touch repugnant?

No, it's just that
I haven't had my
tetanus shot.

Hi, Carol.
Hi, Marcia.

You have a sharp tongue,
Miss Corman.

And with it,
you have just cut off

any opportunity you will
ever have for advancement.

Squashing one bug is not
the answer to pest control.

This town is overrun
with Mr. Bauers.

Back home
we set traps for
things like that.

You know,
every day hundreds of
you out-of-town Cinderellas

come pouring into New York,

expecting to
meet Prince Charming
at the corner bus stop.

Do you know who you run into
at that bus stop?

12 other Cinderellas
with the same idea.

Oh, honey,
put away the fairy tale.

There never was
a Prince Charming.

Sir Lancelot probably had
acid indigestion.

My knight in shining
armor is named Lester.

He's 42 and his mother
still calls him "Sonny."

Good night, Mr. Hunter.
Good night.

Good night.
Good night.

Good evening, Mr. Hunter.
Good evening.

TOGETHER:
Good night, Mr. Hunter.

Good night, Miss Borie.
Miss...

Corman.

Good night.

Mr. Hunter, nice man.

But ask his wife,
maybe he snores.

They all have faults.

I'm not looking forward to
Lester's mother living
with us.

But I'm realistic.

I'm 33 and he's
the last gas station
before I hit the desert.

Here's your humidor,
Miss Borie.

What's it doing here?

I just
picked it up
at the engraver's.

It was
supposed to go out
on the 4:00 delivery.

Tommy, I promised
the customer.

Look, it says,
"Rush. Special."

Don't yell at me, Miss Borie.
I'm gettin' drafted tomorrow.

I need all the love
and affection I can get.

Love you'll get
from your sergeant.

I gave the woman my word
it would be delivered today.

"To my darling. Thank you
for two wonderful years."

I'd deliver it myself,
but I'm going over to
Lester's house tonight.

His mother hasn't
been feeling too well.

Well, where does it go?

"East 64th Street."

It's on my way
to French class.
I'll drop it off.

You're a doll.
I'll see you tomorrow.

I hope Lester's
mother's better.

Ever since we told her
we're getting married,

she's been
bedridden with joy.

Pardon me.
Yes, ma'am?

Could you
tell me what apartment
is Miss Muriel Laszlo's?

Fourteen B.
Thank you.

Just a minute!

I'll get it, honey.

Miss Laszlo
ordered this humidor.

It came back
from the engraver too late
for the last delivery truck,

so I thought
I'd drop it off.

Thank you, Miss Corman.

You're welcome.

MURIEL: Who is it, darling?

Come in.

Sit down, please.

Miss Corman,

I've always prided
myself on my ability

to spot an employee
who has executive potential.

Now, this potential is
sometimes brought to
your attention

under the most
unusual conditions.

But you know
immediately this person

will go far in
your organization.

Now you sense intelligence,
initiative, dedication,

and most important,
discreetness.

That quality, above all,
in the business world,
Miss Corman,

the executive
who says nothing
is known for his wisdom.

Mr. Hunter, there's no
justification for a promotion.

Oh?

All I did last night

was deliver a package
to a customer's apartment.

And the customer's name?

A Miss Laszlo.

Miss. And who
opened the door?

You did.

A married man.

You just happened to
be there drinking a martini.

In a dressing gown,
with an unmarried woman.

What conclusion
would you draw
from that?

You don't like
drinking alone?

I have a wife!
Why don't I drink with her?

Now that we've
established my guilt,
I think you will concede

that promotion is
a proper subject
for discussion.

Not under
these conditions.

I would be accepting
a bribe to remain quiet.

Miss Corman,

I always search for
honesty and integrity.

It's unfortunate
to run across it at
this particular moment.

Couldn't you
find it in your heart
to be just a little corrupt?

Mr. Hunter,

my continued
presence in this store

will make you
feel uncomfortable.

I think it best that I resign.

And you would, too.

Miss Corman,
I'm sorry that my offer

had to arise under
such unusual circumstances.

But there is
an opening in merchandising.

And you do have character,
integrity and principle.

It'd be interesting
to see if an executive

could survive
with such handicaps.

I really wish you
would reconsider my offer.

Think about it, please?

Yes?

RECEPTIONIST: Mr. Hunter,
Mr. Bauer is on line one.

What is it, Bauer?

MR. BAUER: Mr. Hunter, on
the vacancy in merchandising.

There's a Miss Hennessy
who has great potential.

I'll be
interviewing her later.

I should have a recommendation
by morning.

Mr. Hunter.

Hold on, Bauer. What is it?

I've thought it over.
I'll take the job.

You...

No wonder
she turned me down.

Everett, isn't that the
blonde that was in Gifts?

Yes. Miss Corman has
had a remarkable career,

considering she's only
been here three months.

Of course,
it's easy to climb
the ladder of success

when your boyfriend
owns the ladder.

You mean, Hunter and...

I didn't notice any
executive abilities,

but I only see her
between 9:00 and 5:00.

Obviously, she has
talents that emerge only

after hours.

Mrs. Hunter. Mrs. Hunter!

Harry has a mistress!

I said
my husband
has a mistress.

Aren't you shocked?

I just
got back from Rome.
Nothing could shock me.

No comment?

Well, obviously this is
no time for congratulations,

particularly to the wife.

Are you sure?

Have you seen the girl?

No, but a wife can sense it.

It's his attitude
when he comes home.

He just sits
there and smiles.

That's a belligerent attitude?

Now, when we
were first married,

I could infuriate him
with a word.

I was able to reach him.

He just sits there and smiles?

It's maddening!

He stays away
two nights a week,

says he sleeps
at the club, business.

Says it's too late
to catch the last train.

Maybe it's true.

Too late to
catch the last train?

When we were first married,
he'd walk those 25 miles
to get to me.

Mary, that was 12 years ago.

You know, they say
in baseball and marriage,

the first thing to go
are the legs, you know?

Harry's not
the mistress type.

You know,
I spent four years
in the Army with him

and he was even too shy
to ask a girl for a date.

Maybe marriage
has matured him.

Oh, ask him.
Harry's never been a liar.

I wouldn't degrade myself.

My attorney will
ask him that question.

Your attorney?

You'd spend $20,000
for an answer you could get

by just simply
turning over in bed

and tapping your
husband on the shoulder?

You mean on
those rare occasions
when I find him there?

Mary, I was best man
at your wedding.

Now, let me talk to Harry.

After all, what's
the role of a best man?

To help head off the divorce.

Heaven knows I've tried
to be a good wife.

To make a comfortable
home for him.

I've refurnished it
three times in the
past five years.

I spent hours every day
shopping for clothes to
make myself attractive.

I've even
denied myself children
to keep my figure for him.

I know
how vain men are
about their wives.

12 years of sacrifice,
and what do I end up with?

Every penny he's got!

Harry, you didn't
answer the question.

Why is it the only time
a wife knows how you feel

is when you feel it
for another woman?

Are you surprised?
A little.

You disapprove?

Harry, I'm a bachelor.

I just go to the USO dances.

I can't
sit in judgment
on the combat troops.

Now you're
getting the idea
about marriage, old buddy.

That there's a war
going on out there
in the suburbs.

Do you want to
know what life is like in
those split

I'm a casualty.

I'm one of
the walking wounded.

Well, according to Mary,

you're spending
a couple nights a week
at a first-aid station.

Yeah, I knew you
wouldn't understand.

Harry, 12 years ago
I saw you and Mary

leave that wedding
chapel hand in hand,

having just
vowed eternal love.

Now, tell me, what turns
those people into
bitter enemies?

Maybe it starts the first time
you come home 20 minutes
late for dinner

and your wife
greets you at the door
with those welcoming words,

"The meatloaf is cold."

Your first instinct is to say,

"If it's cold,
reheat the lousy thing."

Instead you apologize,
you say you love
cold meatloaf.

That cold meatloaf
you eat is your Munich.

You've said,
"Peace at any price."

It's when you light
a cigar in the living room

and she sniffs as though
you're polluting the air.

Rather than contaminate
this delicate flower
you've married,

you go out and
finish the cigar
on the front lawn,

like a dog who's being
punished for soiling
the rug.

Maybe the first night
she uses the ultimate weapon.

You walk into your bedroom and
there on the night table
next to her

stands the aspirin bottle
with a grim message,

"Have a headache.
Don't touch."

What do you do?

Don't touch.

You curl up in
the fetal position

and you pray
for merciful sleep.

And children? Children!
She won't even discuss it!

I always wanted a child.

And if it were a boy,
H.H. Hunter and Son.

I guess
that's how it starts.
There are no violent scenes.

No drawn knives
or blazing guns.

Just a thousand
little frustrations.

And suddenly, one night,
you find yourself with
a perfect stranger.

Who brings you the happiness
you didn't have with
your wife.

When your marriage isn't
going well,

the last thing you look for
is another woman.

How come
it's the first
thing you find?

How come?

It all happens
quite innocently.

A new girl comes
to work in the store.

Casual good mornings,

a chance drink,
an occasional dinner.

And slowly, slowly,
there's a revelation.

A woman who has
only one concern,
your happiness.

"Did you work hard?"
"Are you tired?"

"Are you hungry?"

Somehow the meatloaf
is never cold.

She lights my cigars.

And no aspirin bottle?

You've really found
happiness with this girl?

The difference
between a wife's,
"Oh, you're home,"

and a woman with love
saying, "You're home."

Do you know what that means?

Harry, the fighting
was started by
an unfortunate remark.

Someone said,
"I now pronounce
you man and wife."

The battle rages on
for 10 years,

then the soldier deserts in
a barrage of aspirin and
cold meatloaf.

Then he finds refuge
in a high-rent foxhole.

Now, is that
the act of a...

Well, a coward
or a man of courage?

I don't know. Well,
what do you think it is?

Harry, it's your war.
I can't tell you how
to fight it.

Dave! Hey, Dave!

Dave. I haven't
seen you at the club.
Where have you been?

Rome. The firm's
setting up a branch.

How are the girls there?

Planning a trip?
No.

Then why torture yourself?

How does our
domestic crop hit you?

Harry picked
himself a good one, huh?

Her?

How'd you like to have that
to tell your troubles to?

Beats an analyst.

I'll see you at
the club, Wally.

Right.

CAROL: My, what
an attractive man.
And such a friendly smile.

DAVID: So that's
Heaven to Harry.

Oh, I wish
he'd say something.

Why is it the wrong men
always start conversations?

Not bad looking, but
I wouldn't leave
home for her.

When he leaves
this elevator,

you'll never
see him again.
You say something.

Pardon me.
Yes.

Do you have the time?
No.

It's 5:10.
Thank you.

That was brilliant.

He must think
you're an idiot.

Harry didn't
say she was bright,
just never got headaches.

Deux daiquiris,
s'il vous plait.

Oui, Monsieur.

The first night that you
walked into French class
I said,

"This is
the girl that I want
to s'il vous plait with

"for the rest of my life."

Roger, I've enjoyed taking
French lessons with you.

And I like
going to concerts
and museums with you.

But that's
as far as it goes.

You're like
one of the family.

But that shouldn't
rule out marriage.

I mean, husbands are
often thought of as
one of the family.

Roger, I don't love you.

Carol, marriage
is a serious subject.

Now, you mustn't drag in
emotional issues.

You see, in the
insurance business,

we deal in cold
facts and research.

We are a good marriage risk.

Statistically, we will be
in the upper third
economic level.

We will have 2.7 children.

Roger, I'm not
questioning your figures,

but I don't
want a 0.7 child.

I don't want a marriage
blessed by a slide rule.

It is an emotional decision.

We have
never tested your
emotional reaction to me.

We never kissed.

You see, you might experience
that thing that you call love.

Shouldn't we research
the possibility?

That seems fair.

Well?

Someday you'll find a girl

who'll be happy
to be the mother
of your 2.7 children.

Hmm.

Is anything wrong?

I think a very
good friend of mine is
making a serious mistake.

He may be trading in
a woman who gets headaches

for one who gives 'em.

Harry?
Yes?

I've had martinis
all over the world

and I can safely say...
Yeah?

...that yours
are the worst.

Every time you have
something unpleasant to say,

you always
soften the blow
by insulting me first.

Harry...
What is it, old buddy?

That's the fifth time.
That's the fifth time
you've said "Harry."

Now if you can get
by that mental block,

I have a feeling
there's something
you want to tell me.

Harry...
Sixth.

All right. This girl
that lights your cigar,

you know, and keeps
the meatloaf warm,

you want to
tell me about her?

How do you
describe a saint?

Usually they're dead.
Now, a saint she ain't.

So throw me a few of
her mortal qualities.

Honest, loyal,

selfless, devoted,

dedicated, understanding.

You've never
met anyone like this.

I don't think
you have either.

And I pity
the wife of a man
who thinks he has.

Sloane, you're cynical.

No, I'm overwhelmed.

I don't think
you can feed a disbeliever
too much religion at one time.

Her understanding.

It's Thursday.
One of the nights I see her.

Mary's mother is
here for a visit.
I have to be home.

When I called to tell her,
did she complain?

Never.

She chokes back a sob
and says,

"Be nice to your
mother

Exactly.
Yeah.

Now with
my mother-in-law,
is that understanding?

I'm humbled.

Now let's kick around a few
of those other virtues,
like loyalty. Huh?

The nights you
don't go to see her,

how does she fill
those empty hours?

Let's take last night.

Oh, that's a good night.

Last night
she stayed home,
washed my bathrobe

and pickled
a jar of tomatoes.

She stayed home last night
and pickled tomatoes for you?

She knows I love 'em.
She lives to please me.

Now you beginning
to get the picture?

Harry, the pickling,
you know, the story you used,
that just about convinced me.

Pickling. Pickling for you.

You still have reservations.
No, no, no...

Yes, you do.
You do. You do.

All right, let me tell you
a little about her background.

Born in a Pennsylvania
mining town.

Alcoholic father, overworked,
neglected mother.

Then one day the mother
runs away with a salesman.

The good people of the town
find a place for her to live.

A home for girls.

That circle
marks her room.

Ran away
when she was 15.

Pushover for the first guy
with a kind word,

who happened to
be a pool hustler.

Left her
after three months.

Worked as a carhop,
second-class night clubs.

Learned life the hard way,
but refused to let it
drag her down.

Went to night school,
got a job here.

With all the ugliness
she's seen, there is
still no bitterness.

There's only one thing left,
one thing missing, Harry.

What's that?

Christmas Eve,
a lonely little girl

running through the snow,
looking into lighted
windows of happy homes,

sadly wondering how
God could forget her. Huh?

Let her tell you
about that night.
What?

I know, I know.
You're asking me
if she's worth it.

Well, you find out
for yourself.

Harry, it's your life.

Call her, see her.
Talk to her.

She is a saint, David.
Go to her.

Visit the shrine,
so you can throw away
your crutches of disbelief.

CAROL: It's him!

DAVID: Well, if it isn't
the saint herself.

Washing his bathrobe,
pickling tomatoes.

And you're
getting away with it.

How often do you
get a second chance?

Don't let it slip away.

Maybe I ought to get to
know you a little better.

Well, do something.

Have a convulsion.
Maybe he'll notice you.

Have you any
plans for tonight?

Just a convulsion.

Wouldn't you
rather have a drink?

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

My name is David Sloane,
and well,

I find you
terribly attractive.

Are you married?

You emotionally involved
with any other man?

Is there any other reason
why you and I shouldn't
have a drink together?

Let's go have a drink.

That way.
Oh.

I'm convinced fate plays
an important part in
people's lives.

Normally, I take French
lessons every Tuesday
and Thursday,

but Mr. Bressard,
our teacher, took ill,

so class was
canceled tonight.

Do you believe in fate?

I'm beginning to.

When you smile, you look
a lot like my brother Tommy.

You have a brother?

Two. Tommy and Alan.
Two?

Tommy's an anthropologist.

Alan works for
Central Intelligence.

Central Intelligence?

CAROL: I have
a confession to make.

In the elevator,
I was hoping you'd
start a conversation.

Very few girls would admit it.
Such honesty is rare.

Oh, honesty is just
something you grow up with.

Why, back home in Montana,
I was born in Helena...

Montana?
Mmm-hmm!

You were born in Montana?

Right.

My father always said,
"Plant a cabbage,
grow a cabbage.

"The same with a lie."

Daddy had
a high moral code.

He's a missionary.

Daddy's a missionary?
Mmm-hmm.

And Mother?

Oh, she teaches music
in the school for
blind children.

Stanley?

Then on Sundays, Father
would barbecue in
the backyard.

And Mother
would make the salad

and then later brother
Tommy would play the guitar.

No, Alan played the guitar.
Oh, Alan played the guitar.

Then you'd
all sit around
and sing folk songs.

Mmm-hmm.

Taxi.
Oh, David?

Could we go to a little
hamburger place I know
on 49th Street?

Somehow it always reminds me
of Sundays back home.

Well, I was thinking
of the 21 Club, but
if you'd rather...

Would you mind?

Oh, no. I'm just unhappy
that Alan won't be there
to play the guitar.

And after you got out
of Montana State College?

I paid Uncle Raymond
a visit and stayed
six years.

DAVID: Brace yourself
for this one.

And what did
Uncle Raymond do?

He ran a little
jungle hospital
in Brazil.

After he died
fighting the epidemic,

I came to New York.

Fighting the epidemic?

To die in the name
of humanity, how noble.

CAROL: Such
a rare combination.

So masculine and
yet so sensitive.

DAVID: If she has the guts
to tell me a story
like that,

why haven't I got
the guts to hit her
with that ketchup bottle?

Sloane and Curtis
Security Investments.
And you're Sloane.

Easy, easy.

It sounds very impressive.

Well, in a way, we're like
your Uncle Raymond
in the jungle.

Only our little
hospital is on
Wall Street

where, well, we nurse sick
corporations back to health.

You've been at the store
two days in a row.

Is Mr. Hunter in
any financial trouble?

Well, it's nice of you
to be so concerned.

Well, there
are so many people
who are dependent on him.

Yeah, I know.

It's not critical.

He made one
unwise investment,

but I think we
caught it in time.

Oh, my neighbor, Mr. Slotkin,
is a traveling salesman.

And when he's away,
they leave his laundry here.

Very attractive apartment.

I sublease it from
a girl who went to Europe.

I've been looking
for another place.

The other night I saw
an apartment at 355
East 64th.

It was a dream.

Does Sloane and Curtis finance
working girls who like
luxury living?

You'd like to improve
your present position?

If it could be arranged.

It would take
the proper financing.

High finance.

I'll have to leave
the details to you.

Oh, I'll take care of it.

Now that my future
is in your hands,

would you care for
some coffee and cake?

Oh, I'd like to,
but I have to go.

Why?

I have a friend
who's in trouble.
He doesn't know it

and I have to warn him.

You're the kind
of man who would go out
in the middle of the night

to help a friend.

David?

This has been a very
special evening for me.

Me, too.

Mary's mother gave that to me
as a present. She trained it.

She would show it photos
of me and say, "Kill, kill."

Harry...
No, not too loud.

I think his
collar's been bugged.

Harry, cradle that
affectionate little
creature in your arms.

Add a wing to your house
so Mary's mother can be
with you forever.

Will you roll up
your sleeve so I can
see the needle marks?

Will you stop?
Throw yourself at Mary's
feet and beg forgiveness.

Season her cold meatloaf
with tears of gratitude.

And that cursed aspirin
bottle on her night table,

"Let he
who is without sin
cast the first aspirin."

Dragged out in
the middle of the night to
hear the ravings of a madman.

What happened?

I visited your shrine.

No shrine.
It's a medicine show.
She's a monumental fraud.

That's vicious.

She's playing the
old shell game, Harry,

only she's playing it
with jars of pickled tomatoes.

You need help, Sloane.
Turn yourself in.

Ah, she's scheming,
she's clever and ruthless.

I'd turn that dog loose on you
if I wasn't afraid he'd tear
me apart.

Believe me, Harry,
the first guy that comes
along with a better offer,

she'll be pickling tomatoes
at a new address.

You came across
a lovely poem,

and out of it you
made something you see
scrawled in a men's room.

Make her a better offer.

What?

Yeah. You're successful,
you're charming in
a sneaky way.

Make her a better offer.

Hey, don't involve me.

Don't involve the assassin?

You struck in the dark.

You've destroyed
the girl's character.

All I destroyed
was a boy's fantasy.

To save a boy's marriage.

Make her a better offer.

If she doesn't
beat you to death
with her tiny fists,

I'll go back to Mary,
to her mother and to
that dog.

You'll really give it
an honest try with Mary?

I'll make my peace
with all three of them.

I'll be a devoted,
model husband to Mary,

I'll try to get
along with the beast,

and I'll even make an effort
to make friends with that dog.

My marriage is in
your hands, old buddy.

He's loose! He's loose!

It's one of our
nicer apartments.

I'm sure your
friend will be pleased.

Well, I think it's exactly
what she had in mind.

You'd better take the key.

Oh, thank you.

And...

Oh, yes.

Good morning.

Oh, Miss Laszlo, Mr. Sloane.

Mr. Sloane has just rented
an apartment for a friend
of his.

Oh, how nice.
I'm sure she'll
be very happy here.

If there's
anything she wants
or just needs to talk,

tell her to knock
on my door, anytime.

Oh, how neighborly.

I'm up very late

and it's nice to
have company when you cry.

Miss Laszlo watches
all the old pictures

and a lot of the actors
have passed away.

I saw a marvelous
comedy last night.

The entire cast was dead.

Such a pleasant man.

What a shame he has
an unhappy marriage.

He's a lot like Harry.

I could tell by that
hurt look in his eyes.

He must have
tried with his wife.

Really tried.

And now he's going to
try with this Miss Corman.

And if
Miss Corman puts on
a little too much weight,

he'll take
that hurt look to
a more slender girl.

I know you had
a bad experience, Thelma,
but you mustn't be bitter.

I gave that man
14 years of my life,

then he got
an appointment
to the Circuit Court,

right away he decided
a judge shouldn't be
touched by scandal.

Well, maybe it
was a coincidence,

but he didn't start
worrying about scandal

until I developed
back trouble.

The only nice thing
you can say about men
is they're all the same.

David.

Where are we going?

No questions.
It's a surprise.

Oh, good.
I love surprises.

I'll just drive around.

You tell me when
I'm getting warm.

355 East 64th Street.

Here it is.

It's lovely.

Marvelous view,

wonderful terrace,

pretty mirror,

great bedroom,

dining room,

and a modern kitchen.

I know
you must love to cook.

I'm going to be
cooking in the kitchen?

We'll take turns.

May I ask one question?

Mmm-hmm.

You and I here?

Well, Carol, you know,
every once in a while
two people meet

and there's
an immediate understanding.

Now I could go
through all the,

you know,
romantic formalities.

But I don't think you
and I have to observe
all the rituals

because we both knew
what would happen.

But if you think that I'm
taking things for granted...

I mean, well, if you
don't feel that way...

Oh, but I do.

And it's true, David.

I knew it from the beginning.

It has happened fast,
but I know it's right.

We belong together.
That's all that counts.

I'll try to
be the best wife
in the whole world.

David, there's something
wrong, isn't there?

Carol...

Tell me, what is it?

I wish I knew where to begin.

Whatever the problem,
there's always a solution.

Believe me,
I'm trying to think of one.

Oh, let's walk.

That's what my
mother and father

used to do whenever
they had a problem.

They'd walk and think,
and pretty soon
the answer would come.

It's only a matter of time.

Time. Time.
Yes, funny, time.
I need... Oh, I need time.

Carol, I think I'm ready.

She was a gentle,
delicate creature,
full of life and love.

It was our wedding day.

It rained.
It was bitter and cold.

She had a fever.

But she didn't want to
disappoint me or the guests.

Oh, Edna was
that kind of girl.

After the ceremony,
I carried her from
the church.

Her wedding chamber was
a hospital bed.

David! David!

Her last words were,

"Promise me I'll be
your bride forever."

I swore
I'd never marry again.

It's been five years.

She always loved the sun.

Someday I'm going
to have her moved

to the sunny part
of the cemetery.

Edna, sleep well.

David, I'm sorry.
I didn't know.

When I mentioned
marriage to you,

it must have been
an awful moment.

It sent a chill
right through me.

I can only offer a woman
comforts and luxuries
of life.

But never marriage?

Carol,

I know
how difficult it is for
a lady of your moral code

to accept a relationship
like this.

If you're not
there tomorrow,

I'll understand.

Come in.

Mr. Slotkin. How are you?

Wounded, but still
carrying my sample
case high.

Don't ever try selling
four-button Italian suits

in Joplin, Missouri.

They're bringing
your blue suit
back Monday.

You know, if Lewis and Clark
had carried a line of
men's clothing,

the whole expedition
would have been a flop.

They didn't
like the suits, fine.

They weren't even
laughing at my jokes.

There are some
people who think
Rembrandt can't paint.

My wife,
may she rest in peace,
used to say the same thing.

Mr. Slotkin,
why didn't you ever remarry?

I don't know.
You get used to one person.

Even the arguments we had,

I'd feel guilty if
I had them with
someone else.

You miss her?

You try to keep busy.

There are some tough days.

Thanksgiving dinner alone.

I remember I spent one
Christmas Eve sitting
in Central Park.

I just hope
I don't end up in
an old salesman's home

with a nurse who
has no sense of humor.

Yes? Oh, thank you.

Good morning, Carol.

Will you be home
for dinner tonight?

Nothing could keep me away.

Betcha that
must have been
a tough decision to make.

Must have been up
all night wrestling
with your suitcases.

Where are you going?

Phil, you can start
raising funds to erect
a monument in my honor.

What nobler deed
can man perform than
reunite husband and wife?

I've heard of nobler deeds.

Hi.

I'm Muriel Laszlo.
I live next door.

I'm Carol Corman.

This is Smoolie.

Oh, hello.

Oh, here.

Welcome to the building.

Well, thank you.
Bread and salt?

It's tradition. It means,
"May there always be
food in the house."

Oh, that's a lovely thought.
Come on in.

Can I help you unpack?

Sure, thanks.

I'm always up late
watching television.

If you need anything,
knock on the wall.

Oh, I will.

I saw a picture last night.

At the end,
George Brent was
going to jail for 20 years

and Kay Francis
promised to wait for him.

Now, that was loyalty.

I don't think any of the
newer actresses would
wait that long.

Oh, probably not.

Sylvia Sydney was
another good waiter.

Oh, no!

Something wrong?

Oh, a woman can take
all the closet space.

She can even keep
his shirts under
the bed.

But that bottom shelf
belongs to him.

When he comes in
in the morning

and reaches for
the shaving cream...

And gets a face
full of hairspray.

Oh, that's not good.

It's a bad way
to start the day.

The bottom shelf is his.

It's tradition.

Like bread and salt.

May there always
be a man in the house.

You know, it's funny,
no matter how nice
a man is,

and there's no one nicer
than Harry,

there are certain little
things that irritate them.

Muriel, have I violated
any other traditions?

Well...

Uh-oh!

What?

Does he smoke in bed?

I don't know.

Well, just in case he does.

Men are funny.

He'd drop
ashes in your flowers
and then you'd be irritated.

And that's not good either.

It's the worst
way to end the day.

Anything else?

When he comes home at night
and he's quiet and you ask
him what's wrong,

and he says,
"Nothing," never say,
"What do you mean, nothing?"

Because he doesn't
mean nothing.

It's something.

If he really
had nothing on his mind,
he'd tell you all about it.

Oh.

When I figure that out,
I'm going to try to
remember it.

From the beginning
you've been determined
to vilify this innocent girl.

Harry, this is one of the most
painful duties I've ever had
to perform.

Sloane, I'm ashamed to
dignify this evil lie
with a phone call.

When I hang up, I expect
you to walk into the
next room,

and soon after,
I want to hear
a gunshot.

Harry, she's moving.

Why don't you try
Murray Hill 47598?

Oh, would you mind?

Oh.

Hello

Hello

I trusted her.
I believed in her.

Harry, hey, it's not
the end of the world.
Sit down. No.

It's just a girl you knew.
It wasn't your wife.

That would have been easier.

You don't expect
as much from a wife.

Forget it.
Go home to Mary.

Not before she
learns what it means
to cross Harry H. Hunter.

Revenge!

I'll get it for you tonight.
Tonight I'll get it for you.

I can't
wait to see her face
when I tell her what she is.

No, no. Don't give her
the satisfaction of anger.

Act as if
you're the one that's
breaking it off. Huh?

Yeah, send her a note.
Here, write her a note.

Send it by messenger,
a letter of termination.

That's right.
I'll break it off.

Cold, formal, unemotional.

"You...

"You craven..."

Harry, no, no, Harry...

"You craven,
double-crossing..."

Harry, write this.

"This is to inform you..."

"This is to inform you..."

"...that as of..."

"...that as of..."

"...today..."
"...today..."

That's D-A-Y, not D-E-Y.
D-A-Y.

"...that our relationship..."

"...that our relationship..."

"...is terminated."

"...is terminated."

"And good luck..."

"And good luck..."

"...on any future..."

"...on any future..."

"...relationship..."
"...relationship..."

"...you may form."

"...you may form."

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, I see,
that's good,
that's good.

I see what you mean.

Cold, unemotional.

Like firing
an old trusted employee.

Now you're
getting the idea.

And then, when I go and
tell her what I think of her,

she'll still figure
she can have you to
fall back on.

In comes the note.
Oh, that's beautiful.

That's beautiful.
Oh, that'll destroy her.

David, only a cruel,
sadistic mind could
think of that.

Now you're
beginning to
appreciate me.

Hi.
Oh, hello there.

I was just bringing
these to your apartment.

What do you like best?

Roast beef, leg of lamb
or shrimp curry?

It's important. Pick one.

Leg of lamb.
What?

Leg of lamb.

Carol is amazing.

She sensed that you
would like leg of lamb.

She's out shopping.

Now you enjoy
that dinner tonight,

because she spent
two hours planning it.

Oh, who are you looking for?

MAN: Miss Muriel Laszlo?

Oh, that's me.

Thank you.

"This is to inform you
that as of today

"I am terminating
our relationship,

"and good luck on any
future relationship
that you may form.

"I will always remember our
association of the past
few years

"with some affection.

"I hope that you will
reciprocate this feeling

"by not writing,
calling or attempting
to contact me in any way.

"The rent is paid until
the 3rd,

"but the gas and water
will be turned off on
the 1st.

"You are
welcome to consume
any remaining foodstuffs,

"but please return
my transistor radio.

"Sincerely,
Harry Hubert Hunter."

Mr. Sloane, tell me
this is a bad dream.

I wish I could.

We were so happy together.

After two years,
to be sent a note.

If you ever
leave Miss Corman,
don't tell her this way.

Take her to the movies
and a Chinese dinner first.

Harry!

Dave, old buddy.

What are you doing?

Mary and I are going on
a second honeymoon.
And you did it all.

Sweetheart, you shouldn't
carry anything as heavy
as this.

What are husbands for?
Watch your footsies, angel.

Hello, David.

Hi, Mary.

Have a nice trip.

What can a man say
at a time like this?

Absolutely nothing.

CAROL: David?

Hello, darling.

It was my
great grandmother's.

The wagon train was on
its way to Fort Mercer.

They didn't think
they would ever reach it.

Under the stars
on an open plain,

she pledged her love
to my great grandfather.

That night,
in her diary, she wrote,

"I am his,
just as surely as though

"a thousand ministers had
intoned our marriage vows."

I wanted to wear this the
first night you came home.

David, I pledge you my love.

Do you like a drink
before dinner?

Drink? Yes, a drink.

Three ice-cubes, scotch
until it covers the ice,

a splash of soda
and a lemon peel.

I want to remember that.

Carol...

Oh, I left Hunter's today.

You quit your job?

Well, darling,
my job now is to take
care of you. Make you happy.

I didn't know
which paper you read,
so I bought them all.

No starch.
I'll remember that.

CAROL: David,
the bathroom's free.

I shopped
for you today.
I had to guess.

If the pajamas are too small,
I'll return them tomorrow.

David, David,
are you all right?

I'm in the tub.

You've been
in there so long,
I was getting worried.

I'm dirty.

I had a cousin
who fell asleep
and almost drowned.

And don't use the
electric razor in the water.
You can electrocute yourself.

This is it, Sloane.
You've got to tell her.

Go tell her. Tell her.

DAVID: Of course you've
got to tell her, but
why the rush?

Tell her in the morning.

Sloane, you're a swine.
Tell her!

Carol...

Yes, darling?

Get in that bed
and tell her!

David, what is it?

It's Edna, isn't it?

When I wore
great grandmother's
wedding mantilla

it brought back
bitter memories.

A hospital,
a promise to
a dying girl.

And now you feel guilty,
as though

being with me
were a betrayal
of that promise.

Talk about it, David.

It'll make it easier.

Oh, no, no.
It's easier this way.

I respect you for
cherishing a memory,

but you have done nothing
to feel guilty about.

Not yet.

That trusting smile
after she closed
her eyes,

it'll always be
a barrier between us.

Any barrier can be scaled
if you have something to
cling to.

Reach out, David. Hold me.

Forgive me, Edna!

She will.

Darling, she will.

But I could
never forgive myself.

Oh, darling,
what you must
be going through.

I know how
you're suffering.

It's torture.

You accepted
that I can't marry.

I can't
ask you to accept this.
Leave me, Carol, leave me.

But I love you.

Night after night, to lie
there holding hands,
it's inhuman.

I can't ask that of you.

How soon before your love
turns to pity and pity
to hate?

David, we'll work it out.

She'll always
come between us.

Give it a chance.

All I ask is a few days.
Just a few days.

And then if you still
want me to, I'll leave.

Good night, darling.

Why didn't you tell
her in the morning?

Miss Corman...
Yes?

We can arrange to move
Mrs. Sloane to the
sunny side,

as you requested.

Thank you.

And we'll bill Mr. Sloane
at this address?

Yes.

I'm sure she'll
be happier there.

Edna, help David.

He mustn't
go through life
burdened by guilt.

He deserves
some happiness.

Don't...
Don't touch those rocks!

Do you want to
break the spell?

I'm sorry. You knew her?

For 20 miserable years
she was my mother-in-law.

Your mother

When she died, she vowed
to come back and get me.

I picked this up in Haiti.

It keeps them
from getting out.

I hope
you haven't
broken the spell.

Stay in there.

We've lost him again.
Your shot, Dave.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, once upon a time,
there was a carefree,
debonair bachelor

who met a very
beautiful girl.

Does this story
have a happy ending,
or do they get married?

As the relationship developed,

the man was not completely

truthful with her
and it disturbed him.

A bachelor's conscience
is a woman's best friend.

Now the girl's intelligent,
very much in love, eager,

and the subject of marriage
will never be mentioned.

And yet
the man has seriously
considered giving it all up.

I can forgive
an attack of conscience,
but never stupidity.

Now in the spirit
of fair play,

the man has created
an emotional problem.

But tonight
he is about to have
a miraculous recovery.

You miserable,
treacherous, despicable...

A little more
to the left and you get
him right through the heart.

I checked the records.

His dying bride
was 87 years old.

Oh, that did it!

The twisted, perverted mind
that would make up a story
like that.

Keep throwing. It'll help.

I work out on the
judge's old bathrobe when
I remember the things he did.

It's good therapy.

You're evil!

It's so hard to believe.
He seemed like such
a nice man.

He's an animal.

A depraved,
cunning animal.

Death to the beast!

Keep throwing
until you work it off.
Oh, they're all the same.

The judge, Mr. Sloane, Harry.

Thelma, I will
not permit you to
speak ill of Harry.

Last night on that
couch I shed tears
of pity.

I just don't understand.

You slept on
the couch and he...

Jungle cunning.

Right.

He sacrificed one night.

After that would
I ever dare breathe
the word "marriage"?

I think we can
look forward to his
having a miraculous recovery.

Barbarian!

Defiler of trusting women!

That's a good spot.

Hi.

Welcome home.

To Carol,
who in my darkest hour,

brought hope
and understanding.

Thank you.

And now that I know,
there's so much more I can do.

David, you're practically
bolting your food.

Do you have
an appointment?

No, I just feel like
getting dinner out
of the way.

You just relax
while I do the dishes.

Why don't you do
them in the morning?

Can't. It's my upbringing.

Father always said,

"Never put off for tomorrow
what you can do tonight."

Oh, I'll go along
with Daddy on that.

Easy, easy, easy.

CAROL: David.

Carol.

Holes? Must be moths.

It's an Italian movie.

The soldier has
been tragically wounded.

He wants the girl
to leave him.

He doesn't want her to
be denied a normal life.

She convinces
him there's so much
two people can share.

The sunset, the dawn,

art, travel, music,
companionship.

And it's true,
David, it's so true.

Two people in love
can survive any hardship
as long as they're together.

Carol, do you believe
in miracles?

Yes.

Do you know where
I spent the afternoon?

At the cemetery, with Edna.

And I told her
how much I needed you.

Suddenly there
was a shaft of light,

it shone right
though the trees.

Then I seemed to
hear Edna's voice.

Carol, your hand is like ice.

I'm fine. Go ahead.

Oh. She said,
well, she waited

until we were reunited.

You know,
she didn't want me
to suffer, so it's okay.

Edna wants me to be happy.

Oh, David, if only I'd known.

Known what?

That you'd come
home with a miracle.

Oh, why didn't I wait?

Wait for what?

Nothing.

I'm so ashamed.

Ashamed of what?

Nothing.

Well, if it's nothing,
tell me.

I can't. It's too awful.

Carol. Tell me.

Please, David.

Don't make me hurt you.

A man. You were with a man.

I was thinking of
you the whole time.

His face was your face,
his arms were your arms,
his lips were your lips.

Why?

To save our relationship.

You told me that desire would
turn to pity and pity to hate.

And I did feel
desire last night.

So you let another
man make love to you?

I was only fighting
for our happiness.

I didn't want
to ever hate you.

Who was it?

A man.

What was his name?

I don't know.

You didn't even ask his name?

It didn't seem important.

Where'd you meet him?

Well, I stopped in this bar,

confused about last night,

and he passed
me the peanuts.

I had to have
somebody to talk to.

He fed you peanuts
and solved your problem?

Where's the bar

Where's the bar

I'm not sure.

Somewhere in the Village.

Greenwich Village?
Get dressed.

Get dressed!

Is this the bar?

I don't know.

We've been to
so many already.

They all look alike.

Well, look around.
See if he's here.

Well, don't blame him.

He was only
trying to be helpful.

Somewhere in
this neighborhood

there's a beast with
peanuts in one hand,
a martini in the other,

waiting to
pounce on any women
with emotional problems.

Dave, how are you?

Fine.

Come on.

Who is that man?

Phil Curtis, my partner.

He's very important to
your career, isn't he?

There's another bar down...

What difference
would that make?

Nothing.

Then why did you ask?

Let's try that
bar down the street.

Was he the one?
I want to go.

Was he?
David, he's your partner.

The last thing in the world
I want to do is make trouble.

I blocked for him
on the football team.

Well, I didn't know.

When I mentioned
your name...

He knew it was me?

Can I see you
for a second, Phil?

Why so grim?

Remember that
touchdown you scored
in the Dartmouth game?

And I broke my collarbone
taking out the safety man?

That was friendship, Phil.

Arrested and locked
up like a caged animal.

And by your partner.
Carol.

It can break up the firm,
ruin you financially.

Yeah.
Oh, what have I done to you?

Carol, the bail.

Look, go to
the Executive Club.

59th Street.

Ask for Tom Webber
or Jim Sanders.

They'll be
playing billiards.

Now tell them
why I need the money.

And hurry.
Carol, hurry. Just hurry.

Darling, don't try
to escape.

This man will
shoot you down.

You would,
wouldn't you?

Yes, ma'am.

One, two, three, four, five.

Good old Webber and Sanders.

I was beginning
to think I didn't have
a friend left I could trust.

Carol, why did you stop?

Oh, nothing.
They gave me the money.

Look at me.
What... Look at me.

What happened?
What happened at the club?

To give for the man
you love is no sacrifice.

Sacrifice?

What did you sacrifice?

David, all men
are not like you.

Webber and Sanders?

Forgive them.

All they said was that
money doesn't grow
on trees.

It has to be earned.

Where did it happen?
Where did it happen?

I was in a hurry
to get back to you.

In the billiard room?
In the billiard room?

Their lips were your lips,
their arms were your arms.

Hi, Dave. Want to play?

On this table?

Oh, David,
David, it's tearing me to
pieces to see you like this.

I'll go to see
the chief psychiatrist.

I'll plead with him.

No, don't. He's a man.

Now, you've
been through enough.
Now, just get into a taxi.

Go straight home.

And be sure
the driver's a woman.

Just let me
stand here and look
at you for another moment.

No, don't torture yourself.
Just get out, get out.

But to see you like this,
and to know that
I'm responsible...

Strapped to a bed in
a psychiatric ward,
and I had to miss it.

It was beautiful!

You should
have taken pictures.

Were they beating him?

I'm going to find out
what the visiting hours
are and bring him some soup.

Soup? Find out if
they have a double bed

so they can strap
Harry in with him.

Thelma, I have
asked you not to speak

in a derogatory
manner about
Mr. Hunter.

Oh, my baby,
oh, my sweetheart.
Get down, darling.

I figure first Curtis,
then his two friends
at the club.

That ought to get
him about a year.

Give him time to
think about Edna.

As a shaft of light
shines through
the bars of his cell,

he can hear her voice say,

"Darling,
they've moved me to the
sunny side.

"Pay the bill."

She's escaped!

I told her
not to move those rocks.

Edna,
you keep away from me.

I didn't, Edna.

I didn't loosen
the brakes on your car.

I didn't, Edna! Edna!

Edna, I didn't! I didn't!

Curtis, Webber, Sanders.
It was a night of carnage.

You don't know
what they did.

Last night a girl
sacrificed herself
because of my lies.

And on my knees
I'm going to climb
those fourteen floors to her

and beg forgiveness.

She's after me.
She's going to get me.

We'll lock the door
so she can't get in.

If she got out of her grave,
she can get through
locked doors.

Oh, you don't know
Edna Sloane.

Edna Sloane?

His dead mother-in-law
is chasing him.

I told that
blonde not to touch
those rocks yesterday.

What was...
What was she
doing there anyhow?

Praying for Edna
to help some guy
named David.

Did you tell that
girl that Edna Sloane
was your mother

Sure. Why is she bringing
flowers to a stranger, anyway?

And now she's out,
and she's coming to get me.

And I didn't do it.

She thinks that maybe...
I didn't. I didn't.

Come on, Dave,
let's grab some breakfast.

Breakfast? Three innocent men
were brutally assaulted
last night

and all you can
think about is food?

Breakfast!

Don't give that bed away.
I think he's coming back.

My actions
were motivated by
a desire to save a marriage.

Yours by vicious,
cruel, destructive revenge.

"Yours by vicious, cruel,
destructive revenge.

"I would like to
close the book on this
ill-fated relationship.

"I consider sundown today
a reasonable length of time

"for you to be
packed and gone.
David Sloane."

He gave me till sundown.

Well, it's time to saddle up.

Get out by sundown.

Like I'm a cattle rustler.

It's their range, honey.
When they say "git,"
you start riding.

Just like that, huh?

It's frontier justice.

The cab is waiting.

Tell the doorman
to bring my bags
back upstairs.

Then go get me
your mink coat. Hurry!

What are you doing?

I don't like
their kind of justice.

Come sundown,
I'm shooting it
out with Mr. Sloane.

Wait a minute, Miss.

Thank you. Bless you.

What are you doing?

Raising the rent.
I've collected almost $3.

You can't picket me.

I'm taking my
case to the public.

Please help me.

Will you stop that?

Tomorrow I picket
your office.

And when
Huntley-Brinkley picks it up,

the entire nation will know
what you've done to me.

Bless you, sir.

May your daughter
never have to go
through this.

I explained it to
you in the letter.

I thought
you were Harry's mistress.

Then you had
no interest in
me personally?

No. But don't I get any
credit for my behavior
the first night?

Didn't you come back
the second night,

ready to make love
to a woman you had
no interest in?

You're vile. I don't know
why I bother to stay on
as your mistress.

You're not my mistress.

It's over,
I sent you that note.

I am not a public utility
you can turn off with a note!

Will you stop yelling?

You wanted me,
you've got me until
I'm ready to call it off.

Please help me.
Please help me.

Carol, will you stop it?

Oh, please help me.
Thank you.

Bless you.
Thank you, sir. Bless you.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

All right, I give up.
What are your terms?

You will
continue to pay my rent
and normal living expenses,

including medical and
dental bills.

Medical and
dental bills, yes.

And psychotherapy.

I've received very
deep emotional scars.

How long?

Until I can resume
my place in society
and meet another man.

One who will
accept my tainted past.

I'll have to tell him.
You know how honest I am.

Oh, I do. Yes, I do. Yes.

And then there's Muriel.

Muriel?

She'll be
moving in with me because
she has no other place to go.

You do remember Muriel,
another girl whose life
you've ruined?

All expenses, yeah.

I'll never ruin
another woman unless

I know she's old
enough for Medicare. Yeah.

Muriel will
need rehabilitation.

Some vocational school
where she can learn
a trade.

You agree to
all the terms?

You don't
consider them too harsh?

They're not too harsh, no.
You've spared my life,
useless as it is.

You never knew
what a despicable
person you really are?

Not until I met you. No.

Then in a way I've helped.

I think so.

Here.

Knowing the financial
responsibilities you face,
this may ease your burden.

Thank you.

John Henry,
don't encourage
that kind of person.

Shame, you awful thing.

Well, the beast left me and
I'm too old to go back
to the chorus.

Tell me again, what were
the tyrant's last words?

He said, "I give up.
What are your terms?"

I have lived
to see the day.

Oh, Thelma.

* If you knew Suzie
like I know Suzie *

Thelma, Thelma,
remember your back.

Thelma.

Get her from the other side.

Have you got her?

Oh, we've got you,
we've got you. Okay.
Be careful of the iron.

Get her in the chair.

Justice knows no pain.

I told you to
remember your back.

It's a privilege to
slip a disk for such
a glorious cause.

Here, have a little sip.

Hello?

Miss Corman, David Sloane.

I just
received a call
from a Mr. Wong Lee,

asking if I'd guarantee
payment on your laundry.

Yes. I asked him to call.

He does charge two cents more
on a blouse, but he irons it
by hand.

I could find
a cheaper place.

No, no.

I also
received a call
from a Ben's Meat Market

for approval of
your purchase of

four lamb chops and
two pounds of brisket.

What about
the soup greens?

Ben didn't mention it to me,
and, frankly, I didn't feel
like going into it.

Miss Corman,

I agreed
to certain terms,
and I'll honor them.

Just send the bills.

I only wanted you to know
where the money was going,

that I wasn't taking
advantage of the situation.

Just send the bills.

Why? All I tried to
do was save a marriage.

Harry!

Where's Mary?

The honeymoon...

The honeymoon
lasted until we got to
the George Washington Bridge.

Why didn't I take
the tunnel?

Didn't I know that
heights made her dizzy?

Why was I stuck
behind that bus?

Didn't I know
the exhaust fumes
made her nauseous?

The only way I could have
passed that bus was to
drive off the bridge.

I should have.
I should have.

I should have.
I should have.

Easy. Easy, now, easy.

I had to pick
a roadside diner

where the cook
couldn't make eggs Benedict.

And with her
sensitive skin,

I had to stop
at a motel that
had rough linen.

From then on
it was all downhill.

Outside Akron, Ohio,
at a railroad crossing,
I made my break.

I jumped on
a passing freight.

For two days I rode in
a refrigerated boxcar
with a load of broccoli.

Rousted by
railroad detectives
outside Erie, Pennsylvania.

Spent the night
in a police tank
with seven female hobos.

The last 80 miles
I came into New York
straddling an oil tanker.

That was our
second honeymoon.

Well, what happened to Mary?

As the freight train
is pulling out,

she's yelling at me,
"I'm going to Reno.

"I'm getting a divorce.
I'm finding another man."

It's better that way.

The only thing that hurts
is what Muriel did to me.

In her I had faith.

Harry, you were
right about Muriel.

I made
a tragic mistake.
I have no escape.

I have no freight train to
hop on as I wander eternally

through a nightmare
of Chinese laundrymen

and butchers who
forget soup greens.

But I will find comfort
in the knowledge that,

well, knowing that
you and Muriel will
be together again.

A pension!

What do you think, Carol?

Muriel, every industry
provides some sort
of protection!

Workmen's compensation,

health and welfare,
retirement fund, pension.

Are we an industry?

We served.
We can't even
collect unemployment.

There is a basic
moral responsibility
in any relationship.

Even in the army,
when you're wounded,
they take care of you.

Didn't I slip
this disk in combat?

You don't just set
people adrift on
an ice floe

when they've
outlived their usefulness.

No? Remember Gladys
on the seventh floor?

What was her crime?
Swollen ankles.

Kaput. On the ice floe.

Oh, not all men
are like that.

No? When was
the last time you saw
a man walk into a nightclub

with a mistress who was
wearing surgical stockings?

Pensioned.

If only there'd been
a Carol 12 years ago.

Hello?

It's Harry.

Hello, Harry.

I might consider it, Harry,

but first we'd have
to discuss a pension.

I did it.
I told him.
You heard me.

I said
we'd have to
discuss a pension.

If he gets mad I'll say
the pension was for him.

What's wrong?

She wants a pension.

Well, if she wants... Pension?

They promise to
give us 90 days' notice.

No more
slipping us the shiv
without warning. There.

Oh wait, there is something
that I'd like to see in there.

They should be with
you on your birthday,
if it's at all possible.

If it's at all possible?
This is a revolution.

They didn't say
to King Louis XVI,

"Sire, with your permission,
we'd like to lop off
your head."

No, it was...

Muriel, Harry's
waiting for you
in the apartment.

I'm sorry.
Not until the battle
for human dignity is won.

Tell him that there's
some egg salad in
the refrigerator.

Muriel...

Not until he agrees
to these demands.

"$50 a month for
each year of service."

If there'd been
a Carol around
in my day,

I'd be drawing
$600 a month now.

Muriel, go to Harry.

Don't listen to
these rabble rousers.

Rabble rousers!

We got Louis XVI,
and we'll get you!

Progress is always
slandered, girls.

When people pressed against
the factory gates, crying out,

"Our children are hungry!"

there was always
a Mr. Sloane who said,

"We gave them Sundays off,
and that's how they used it,

"to have children."

Oh, glorious leader.

What are you trying
to do with all this?

To correct
abuses and to guarantee
basic minimum securities.

There are some skills
you can't organize.

You're not
electricians or plumbers.

Does a plumber
get thrown out when
he loses his figure?

Well, the next time
I see a plumber
in Schrafft's,

having tea in a mink coat,
I'll ask him.

That's all they're left with,
their mink coats and
their poodles.

You want
a guarantee
of eternal love?

Marriages break up!

But there's one difference.

The wife is left
with the marriage ring.

That band of gold that
stirs the indignation
of any lawyer,

the compassion of the judge,
and the sympathy of
the community.

After 12 years the best
I got was my sister saying,

"It served you right."

This type of
relationship has been
going on for centuries.

Don't tamper with it.

Polio went on for centuries!

Should Dr. Salk not
have invented the vaccine?

All right, I'll give Harry
a shot of your new vaccine.

And I think we can
expect a violent reaction.

David.

You would like to be
rid of me, wouldn't you?

Yeah.

Well, there's a way.

Get Harry to
agree to those terms.

You want me to
abandon my convictions?

Sacrifice my best friend?

You'll never see
or hear from me again.

You've just
given me incentive
to turn on my fellow man.

Never! Never! Never!
I will never agree
to these demands!

This is
anarchy, socialism,
creeping Trotskyism.

Isn't that what you
told me in the cab?

And you're going to take
advice from a man that
almost destroyed you?

Look what I've done to you.
I broke you and Muriel up.

Mary's in Reno,
you ended up in jail,

and you're still
going to listen to me?

Hey, when are you
ever going to learn, Harry?

I trusted you.

Oh, don't try to
squirm out. Admit it.
Your judgment was lousy.

But this is an attack
on my integrity.

Integrity?

When I came into
your office telling
poisonous, horrible lies

about this
saint-like creature,

why didn't you
have me tossed out?

I don't know.
Why didn't I?

Because there's
a flaw in your character,

that's why, Harry.

David, help me.

Help you?

After the brutal
note I made you send?

How could I be so cruel?

Well, you spout integrity.

What would you do
if Muriel got old
and sick?

I don't know. What?

What? You'd throw
her out, that's what.

Oh, why do I do things
like that?

If we only knew
what turned decent
people into Harry Hunters,

evil would
be erased from
the face of this earth.

Cry it out, baby,
cry it out.

We won! We won!
Men like you are finished.

Leave us
when the bloom is
off our cheek, huh?

I was just bringing some
cleaning to Miss Corman.

It came to her old apartment.

You like to dance with us
but once our ankles start
to swell,

it's "Change partners!"

Well, no more!

What's wrong?
My back.

Does it hurt there?
Oh, don't touch me.

I know you men
with the quick hands.

Isobel, may she rest in peace,
had the same trouble.

I know a wonderful
doctor on the staff at
the Lennox Street Hospital.

I could pick you up and
drive you there tomorrow.

No stopping
at your apartment on
the way to the hospital?

You know, when you
hold your back like that,
you look just like Isobel.

Even in pain,
no complaints.

It's strange.

I was on the East Side
this morning.

I weighed myself,
and the card said,

"Today you will
meet a nice Jewish girl."

My name is O'Monaghan.

In a delicatessen on
Hester Street,

if the card said,
"Today you'll meet
a nice Irish girl,"

how long do you
think that scale
would stay in business?

She remembers me.

You look tired, Harry.

Muriel,

I've made up my mind.

We're getting married.

Have a sandwich first.

You shouldn't
make a big decision
on an empty stomach.

Don't you want to?

I've always wanted to.

If we do get married,
can I ask one favor?

Anything.

Can I have a baby?

Why do you have to ask?

I wouldn't want to
do anything behind
your back.

A baby?

What would you like?
A boy or a girl?

H.H. Hunter and Son.

I can't promise
it'll be a boy,

but I'll try.

Harry, I'll really try.

Miss Corman, goodbye.

They say
a man forgets pain
and remembers pleasure.

My memory of you
will be a complete blank.

I'm glad to see you
won't bear any scars.

Oh, minor wounds.

But freedom is
the great healer.

And you'll
have that freedom
in less than 24 hours.

Twenty

I'll be out of that
door in three seconds.

The ride down to Maryland,
the license,

the marriage and
the annulment in
the morning.

Marriage?

That's my freedom?
The hangman's noose?

For one night.

It'll give me respectability.

Men don't rush
ex-mistresses home
to meet their mothers.

But a woman who's had
an unfortunate marriage,
annulled the next morning,

with no consummation,
that men understand.

They also sympathize
with a woman like that.

Twenty-four hours, David.

And I, too,
can emerge unscarred
with hope for the future.

Marriage, even for one night?

Something could go wrong.

We despise each other.

Yeah.
What could happen?

Yeah.

You know, I had
a strange feeling
something would happen.

What do you
suggest we do?

I guess a divorce.

Oh, no.

There's something about
divorce that implies failure.

There is one type of woman
that's very popular with men.

Yeah, what type is that?

Widows.

Well, that's
a little extreme,
but I do want to help.

Particularly those
with small children.

It stimulates
a man's protective instincts.

If you
were really concerned
about my future happiness,

you'd leave me
a widow with five
or six small children.

It's probably best
you become a young widow.

It would help.

Good morning.
Oh, good morning.

Just married?

An hour ago. And you?

Yesterday.

Well, if you'll excuse us,
I promised to make
a widow out of her.

I hope you'll be
as happy as I am.

I'd better be.
Come on, Marvin.

You know,
honey, I think we just
sentenced Marvin to death.

* Strange

* How the winds of change

* Blew across my life

* And brought me love

* Love

* Warm and strong and true

* Time will never change

* My love for you