Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (Soranî)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
("The Gold Bug" playing)
Okay, but this is just this Thursday? This isn't every week?
Great. Then can you just stay three extra minutes into closing?
-And you'll do a 5-and-a-half hour? -Yeah, that's cool.
Great, thank you.
No.
Happy birthday, dear Tina
And do they use Resy or Clover?
I think it was Resy. Yeah, Resy.
Great, we use Resy here, so that should be easy.
Hey, how's it going?
-Hey. Good, good. -I need you to do me a big favor.
Gather all the troops around before dinner service kicks in.
Sure, yeah. Is everything okay?
Yeah. Everything's okay.
Okay.
All right, everybody's here. Look, I have a big announcement.
-We're closing? -Jake, why would you say that?
I don't know. Intuition?
Anyway, look, guys.
Now, a while back I heard there was a program that Tuscan Grove sponsored
where they take all the top managers from franchises all over the country
on an all-expense paid trip to the Tuscan Grove Institute in Italy.
You learn about Italian cuisine and culture.
You stay in a villa. It's an opportunity of a lifetime.
Now, Amber, you've been here for nine years.
Matter of fact, I hope she's here for nine more years.
-Yeah... -You've shown grace under pressure.
You've ran this place like a perfectly run ship.
Amber...
pack your bags.
You're going to Italy next month.
-What?! -Congratulations.
Are you being serious?
Oh, my God! I mean, I've never been to Europe before, or anything.
Paul, I'm so grateful to you for this, really.
Hey, look, this is an honor. Like, this is not an easy program to get into.
Matter of fact, I had to write you a two-page essay.
That's how much I believe in you.
But seriously, get out of Bakersfield.
Go have some fun. Recharge, relax.
Have a little adventure. And, look, don't worry about us here.
-We'll manage. -I don't know about that.
-Whatever. Come here, give me a hug.
Damn, dude, this is the shit.
Wait, and you're going to be staying in the villa?
-Yeah. -Oh!
I know.
-What? -I have a feeling.
You know what? Nope, never mind.
Oh, my God.
-Tell me. -You're going to fucking fall in love.
Okay, I was kind of thinking that too, but it sounds so stupid. Like--
No, it's not stupid.
Welcome!
-Hey... Look, look. -Oh, my God.
Enjoy oodles of noodles with our famous classic spaghetti and meatballs,
our juicy and tender chicken parmesan, or go succulent with my personal favorite,
creamy fettuccini Alfredo. Plus, soup or salad.
And finish strong with our irresistible desserts.
Three full courses for just $13.95.
Best of all, all our pastas are all-you-can-eat.
Mama, don't stop there.
He's a growing boy!
Tuscan Grove.
Pull up a chair and mangia.
Whoa.
-Mm. Maybe it's a sign. -Of what?
-How is that a sign? -Of synchronicity.
Okay.
I'm going to miss you too.
I don't understand.
They can't just lose my bag.
I mean, I hope they'll be able to get them to me.
Hi, I'm Amber Ruffman.
Ciao.
Oh, I-- I don't speak Italian.
-Were we supposed to learn Italian? -Ah...
No, I'm just kidding. I'm Craig.
I'm your program supervisor. But don't worry, I'm cool.
-Okay. -Hop in.
-Thanks. -Yeah.
Hi, I'm Jen.
Hi. Amber.
Did Craig do that thing where he was talking in Italian to you too?
-Yeah. -That was so funny!
I totally thought he was a real, authentic Italian guy
because of the beard and stuff,
but I should have known, because his name's Craig.
-And, like, what Italian is named Craig? -Totally.
-I'm Deb. -Hey.
Sorry about your bag. I overheard.
-I'm Amber. -Oh, nice to meet you, Amber.
I had so many important things in my bag, and now it's just...
I'm sure they'll find them.
-Really? You think so? -Okay ladies, before I forget,
if you hand me your passports,
I'll hold onto them before it's time to head home.
-Yes, sir. -Grazie.
Now you're mine.
He's so fun.
We're getting kidnapped. We're getting kidnapped.
I am having so much fun.
This van is really great.
-The cars here are so boxy. -I just really need my stuff.
Well, anything you need, you can borrow from me.
-I overpacked. -I can?
-Yeah. -Really?
-You would do that for me? -Of course. It's no biggie.
It's no biggie. It'll be fine.
I just really need to get my sleep or else I--
Oh, I have a way of sleeping too.
-When I-- -Oh, my God, you guys, look!
-Oh, my God. It's so beautiful. -No way.
-The villa. -It looks like a fairy tale.
It's even more magical in person.
It is.
Holy cannoli, right?
-I feel like I'm in a movie. -Oh, wait.
Where are we going? I thought we're staying there?
-Uh, yeah, no. -It says in the brochure that--
We have a hotel where our managers stay.
-Don't worry, it's really nice. -Oh.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it...
So much brick.
Okay.
Buon giorno, party people.
It's so great to be with you. Welcome here to giorno uno.
That's day one of the Tuscan Grove Institute Exemplary Managers' Program.
You should all be very proud of yourselves.
We're going to have a lot of fun here, eat a lot of great food,
learn about Italian culture, and most importantly, grow as people.
But first, everyone introduce yourselves.
Tell us your name, where you're from, and a fun fact about yourself.
Okay, that's dry. I'll start.
I'm Craig. I come from Cincinnati, Ohio.
But I've been living that ex-pat life for eight years.
And, uh, let's see...
My great uncle invented skorts.
-Sports? -Skorts.
Okay.
Uh, my name's Fran, and you all probably recognize me from Chef's Challenge.
And, uh...
Well, anyways, I think of myself as more than just a manager.
I guess I'm a bit of a foodie.
I've been dabbling in molecular gastronomy and I don't know,
just happy to be here to share my expertise with y'all.
Um... I'm Dana, and, um, I've loved Tuscan Grove since I was a kid.
And I guess you could say that Nick Martucci's kind of my idol.
Just the way he built this business from scratch.
And he stars in those beautiful commercials.
Um...
I don't know,
I'm just really psyched to be here.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm Jen.
Uh, I'm from Oakland, California, and I am very--
Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot. I'm from Tenafly, New Jersey.
Please continue.
-Are you sure--? -Sorry, no, no. You can go.
I am really over the moon to be here.
I feel very connected to all of you guys already, like in this cosmic way.
Like we met in a past life or something, and that's very exciting.
And, oh! Fun fact about me is, I used to be a twin.
Uh, almost, because my sister died in utero.
Cool.
-Cool. -That's not really a fun fact, but okay.
Hi, everybody. My name is Deb.
I lost my bags at the airport,
and I had all these really important things in my suitcase.
I called this woman with the airlines and I spoke to her,
and she was very rude to me.
And she has no idea when I'll get my bags back,
or if they'll ever find them again, so...
I just feel like I'm not being very fun.
But I really appreciated Amber. She was so kind.
And you told me that you could lend me clothes, and I really appreciate that.
You seem like a nice person.
Thank you.
Well, I'm Amber.
I'm from Bakersfield, California.
This is my first time traveling outside the U.S.
I've worked at Tuscan Grove for nine years.
I technically took a year off to open a restaurant with tablets at every table,
but...
my ex put all the debt on my credit cards and killed my credit,
and it went under, so I'm back. And...
now I'm here.
All right.
-Well, okay-- Oh, sorry. -Okay, so I'm Susie.
-I'm so sorry. -I'm from San Antonio, Texas.
So, "Go, Spurs."
Um, yeah, I don't know. I've been at Tuscan Grove
for, like, ever since I was a little kid, I've been working there.
I mean, not, like, for real, for real. Just for fun. It's not like child labor.
But, like, my parents and my aunt and uncle,
they all have a franchise, they've had it forever.
So it's like all of us work there, my cousins...
-There's 23 of us like, all together. -Wow.
We're just a big family, but we're all really close.
They're my best friends.
-Oh, I love family. -Yeah, family rips.
Great.
So now that we got the fun stuff out of the way, I got to...
I have to put on my serious hat.
Italy's a magnificent country, but it can also be dangerous.
-That's why we have a strict curfew. -How is Italy dangerous, Craig?
Uh, well,
you know, there's a lot of unpaved roads here, so you could slip and fall.
You could, uh, get lost.
There are boars.
-Boars? -Yeah.
There's no leaving the TG Institute while you're here,
except for official field trips, which are so fun.
Yeah, okay, now I can take the serious hat off and I can put my fun hat back on
and introduce a very special guest.
Please welcome one of the most important members of the Tuscan Grove family.
She is personally responsible for designing the official TG menu.
No way. Liz Bence is here?
Lizzie Bence.
Oh, holy shit. I'm gonna faint.
Oh, please don't do that. That's way too much pressure.
Welcome, everyone. Congratulations on making the cut.
And speaking of cutting, you all look hungry.
Let's get to the kitchen. Come on.
All right, this is interesting.
What is the difference between a ragu and a Bolognese?
-You don't have to raise your hand. -Sorry. Um...
A Bolognese is from Bologna?
Yes. What else? What else?
Ingredients?
Yes, but specifically?
Sauce?
Well, you're going to use a red wine for ragu
-and a white wine for Bolognese. -And white wine for Bolognese.
That's so interesting.
Oh, I love this.
This is fun.
Would that look cute?
Yeah, you can take it. Sure.
I think it would be so cute with my jeans, you know?
Oh, and there's some sweats to sleep in, if you want.
Thank you so much. I really like you, Amber.
Yeah. So do you have a boyfriend back home?
No, definitely not.
Oh, that's okay. You're still young, you know?
You got plenty of time.
You should just have fun when you're here
and sow your wild oats because that's what I'm going to do.
But I'm actually married, though.
My husband, Hank, is wonderful. He's really good for me.
We actually have a really good relationship. Very solid.
You're going to find love, Amber. I can feel it.
A lot of my friends say I'm really intuitive.
And you're my friend now, so...
(cell phone ringing)
Oh, I just need to get this.
-You good? -Oh, yeah.
-I'll just finish up. -Okay.
-Hi! -Hi. Oh, my God, how is it?
-Tell me everything. -It's really great.
Really great? Come on, that's it? Come on, is it insane? How are the people?
Are there any assholes? Have you hooked up with anybody?
-Come on! -Oh, my God.
I've been here one day. Hold on.
Hey, do you have everything you need?
Oh, yeah. This is so cute.
My husband actually loves when I wear really revealing and sexy stuff.
Not that I would ever do anything while I'm here but, you know...
Uh... Do you need anything else?
I'm just going to talk to my friend right now.
No, it's fine.
It's really good for my self-esteem though,
because I love getting attention from men, and it's like that kind of sexual energy,
flirty, just makes my body feel good.
And then you kind of bring that energy back to the marriage.
So it's... It's, like, healthy.
Totally.
Sorry, it's just that my friend is calling long-distance.
Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, sure, sure.
-I'll get out of here. -Okay.
I just want to get this.
-Sorry. -It's okay.
Here.
Let me get my purse.
Would you care if I take a few hangers?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They didn't put any hangers in my room, so... It's so annoying.
This is so cute. Can I take it?
Oh, it's just my only jacket.
-Oh, okay, no problem. -Okay.
Okay, great. Okay, good night. I'll see you in the van tomorrow morning.
I'll see you then.
Okay.
Oh, it doesn't lock.
-Huh? -It doesn't lock.
-You can just open it. -That's so weird.
-I know. -Okay.
-Good night, Amber. -Good night.
Bye.
What was that?
Jesus.
I know. I know. I know.
Hey, little guy.
Right, so you wear the ring to sleep, and then it just tracks, like,
how much REM sleep you get, how much deep sleep you get.
You're supposed to get an hour and a half of REM, but--
-Amber, I saved a seat for you. -Thanks.
Can you just get one more? I just want to make sure you get my good side.
-Yeah. -Okay.
-Does that look good? Natural? -Yeah.
I just want one good one.
Does that look okay?
Since Medieval times, piazza has served as a central social
and economic meeting place in Italian cities and towns.
Farmer's markets are the traditional way
that townspeople purchase all their produce.
-Going to the supermarket in the piazza. -So interesting. I didn't know that.
All the fruits and vegetables
I'm going to go.
-are fresh from local farmers and growers. -You okay here?
And you know, the reason that Italian food always tastes so good,
it's not... It's not just the fresh ingredients that they use.
-It's also the soil. -Here, just take one of me.
-The soil imparts... -A video?
-From a low angle. -Oh, my God, no one's listening.
It's just us.
Um, the soil really imparts this really distinctive, very rich flavors.
I'm Karl Marx.
You wanna go to, like, a flea market or a thrift store or something?
Yeah.
I mean, we could, like...
Why don't we ask and see if there's anything to do?
Yeah, this took a lot of work. This detail here, the hooves, snout.
It's like a four-hour procedure.
Wow, you must really like pigs.
Yeah, to eat. It's the best.
Aren't they supposed to be really smart?
Yeah, they're really smart.
Yeah, supposedly, they're as smart as dogs.
-So, what? -Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Craig, I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God.
What's in all those bags?
Well, I bought some new clothes so I don't have to keep wearing yours.
Boom. Let's hit it. Andiamo.
Fashion show.
Most of our classic TG chicken dishes like a Milanese, a parmigiana,
include traditional Italian seasonings,
which is made up of rosemary, basil, marjoram, sage, thyme.
But our Crazy Calabrese lasagna has red pepper flakes, right?
Because that gives it that kick that we all love so much.
Do you want to try the marjoram, or whatever it's called?
Yeah, sure.
When she first said it, I thought she meant "margarine."
Yeah, me too. I was literally like, "Wait, is margarine an Italian spice?"
"Yeah, here's this cool Italian herb. It's called butter."
Sorry.
And, of course, at our stateside locations,
we exclusively use
the prepackaged...
Ladies. Ladies, just respect the herbs.
You know, speaking of respecting the herbs,
do you mind if I take the stage? Or the, uh, "sage?"
Okay.
Listen, gang, I want to apologize if I've come across as aloof.
It's jet lag or something.
But I want to try to be more available for you guys.
And, Liz, I love what you're doing,
but maybe we should try thinking outside the box.
Let's take bruschetta.
Why don't we try flipping it on its ear?
Do you have a chinois for the foam?
And gelatin. I need to bloom the gelatin.
No. I don't have that.
Okay, well, we can use some egg whites to give it some more body.
Beautiful six-pack here.
Here's my plate.
Okay. Actually, you know what?
We'll just use the whole egg, and get some of that protein from the yolk. Oh!
Okay. Get this working here.
And what about some liquid nitrogen? Do you have some liquid nitrogen here?
It's really not that kind of kitchen.
All right, let's use some milk then.
And, okay. We're mixing.
-You got to get a real quick mix going. -What?
Is this really happening?
Oh, I know it's not pretty,
but we're improvising. We're making it work.
Fran, you maybe want to stop macerating right now.
I would like to introduce to you a very special guest.
He is our CEO and our founder
-and my dear, dear friend, -Oh, Jesus.
Nick Martucci.
Ciao, amici!
Ciao. Whoo!
Hey, don't stop on my account.
Oh, okay. I'm just whipping up a little foam here.
-More of an emulsion, actually. -I'm sure it'll be amazing.
-Thank you. -Yeah.
I was in the neighborhood. Figured I'd drop in. Isn't this so cool?
I mean, normally, I'm not here in the off-season,
but I figured for this group I'd make an exception. Yeah.
-Oh, hey. -Hey, Nick.
-What's up? I'm Susie. -Susie?
-That's a beautiful name. -All right.
I'm Nick. I'm...
I'm Jen. Your name is Nick.
-Hi, Nick. -You have exquisite hands.
Thank you.
I-- I love you.
Thank you.
-I'm sorry. -No, it's an honest mistake.
-I've never been to Europe before. -No need to apologize.
She looks so much like Connie, huh?
I'm Amber.
Well, it's nice to meet you, Amber.
I'm, uh, Fran.
Thank you all for coming all the way over here.
We're so appreciative of everything that you've done for our family.
I'm going to be around a little bit this week,
so I'm excited to get to know you a little better.
This is my assistant, Kat.
If you need anything, feel free to approach her and let her know.
She handles all my business.
How about a group shot?
Yeah, let's do it. Come on.
Yes.
-Gnocchi. -Gnocchi.
Okay, everyone say "formaggi."
-Formaggi. -Formaggi.
Okay, now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to catch up with you guys in the a.m.
-All right. -Thank you, Nick.
-Bye. -Oh, well...
That was a lot, huh?
Is everybody okay?
-So, Nick. -Okay, where were we?
Boy, he was definitely giving you a little something extra.
-Well, I... -Ah.
Oh.
-Who's Connie? -I don't know.
-I kissed him right on the lips. -You did.
-Hey, you're Amber, right? -Yeah.
Cool. Do you want to take a smoke break?
Oh. Um...
Just come with me.
Okay.
-Now, one of the things that is... -There you go.
That I love about the red pepper is that...
Oh, I don't really smoke.
Don't inhale then.
Okay.
I--
I only ever smoked for two weeks in high school,
and I smoked cloves because I thought it was so cool.
And I would just drive around in my car with my cigarette hanging out the window,
but so nauseous.
And then, my mom found the cigarettes in my purse and asked if I was smoking,
and I said no, and then I just burst into tears.
-I felt so bad about lying. -That's cool.
Me crying is cool?
No, sorry.
I'm just kind of out of it right now.
-Oh, from traveling? -No.
Nope, all we fucking do is travel.
Yeah, I can't even remember the last time we were in one place for more than a week.
That sounds fun.
Yeah, it can be.
It can also suck majorly.
I'm sorry, I'm dumping all my shit on you, and we just met.
Oh, my God, you can dump shit on me.
Yeah?
What are you doing tonight? Have plans?
No. I mean, I don't know.
I don't think we're allowed to plan our own stuff.
Oh, fuck that. You're with me.
I actually know this really cool spot in Lucca.
-Okay, great. -I want to go to a cool spot in Lucca.
Plus, Craig says we should all stick together, right?
Can I bum a square?
-Here we go, first one. -Okay.
-There we go. -Uh...
-Marjoram? -- No.
-Mint? -- No.
-Pine? -- No.
Hey, everybody.
Amber, Kat, and I are going to go to a really cool bar in Lucca tonight
if anybody wants to come with us.
Okay, no. That's not going to happen.
So to be crystal clear, none of us are going to leave the TG campus except for--
Oh, Craig, it'll be fun!
You got to live a little, baby.
-I'm trying to go. -Yeah, please?
-(Craig) No. -Birth place of Puccini.
Deb. Deb, that's not permitted.
What's not permitted?
Smoking.
-What? -Deb, put it out.
Oh, my God, so serious.
Craig, we're in Europe, if you didn't know,
and you need to lighten up a little bit, please.
(Craig) This is a working kitchen.
Put it out.
Fine.
-(Susie) Cool, so Lucca? -(Deb) Yeah, can we go?
All right, guys, I'll make you a deal. We can go...
-Yes! -There you go.
-Yes! -Let's go.
-...to the bar right here. -What the fuck, Craig?
What kind of deal is that, Craig?
I don't know what to tell you. We're not going to Lucca.
Them's the rules, all right?
I brought some molly, and Jen and I are going to roll tonight.
Don't know if you...
-Come on... -We'll see.
Okay. No pressure.
Lucca's not on the table.
What are you guys talking about?
(electronic dance music playing over speakers)
Oh, my God. Look at them.
(both) We have the same face!
They are so annoying.
It's so depressing.
When I first got to Italy, I had men that were chasing me down the streets.
You know, they would... They would catcall me.
They would just reach out and they'd take big handfuls of my ass.
Oh, no.
No, it was great. It was great.
I walk down the street now, I'm completely invisible.
People setting drinks on my head like I'm a table.
I don't get whistled at anymore. Or that thing, you know...
I don't, with the, you know, the fingers and tongue? This thing?
-I never get that. -Ew, they did that?
-Yeah. -(Deb) Oh, my God.
God, I miss that.
Sucks we're not going to Lucca.
You know Lucca's the porn capital of Italy?
Except they wear masks to hide their identities.
Why do you know that?
I'm sorry your plan got all fucked up.
I really do want to check out that bar you were talking about.
No, it's totally fine.
-We'll go another time. -Totally.
Um...
Tell me more about your... Your traveling. What's your all-time favorite place?
Mm...
I've been so many places.
Oh, this one time, I was living abroad in the Andes,
and I hiked up the cape to Pachamama high on coca.
Coca?
Yeah, you need the coca to survive the soroche.
-What's that? -Altitude sickness.
We were at 3200 meters, so you definitely need the coca.
Anyway, it was the solstice, right?
So it was like the one day out of the entire year
where the sunlight hits both of the ovary rooms at the same time.
-Ovary rooms? -Yeah.
I've been on a real Latin American kick.
-Totally. -Have you read García Márquez?
Uh-uh.
I don't think so.
Well, I've been reading News of a Kidnapping.
It's about all these people that were kidnapped by Pablo Escobar. It's brutal.
It's not like any of his other magical, realist shit.
It's totally fucked up.
Whoa.
-Sounds fucked up. -Yeah.
It's wild how much better the food is here, right?
Fran, this olive, these chips, it is like...
I've never had an olive before.
It's like... It's like I've never had chips before.
Yeah, but in my younger days, I was definitely rougher around the edges,
you know what I mean?
Like, you know, I got in some trouble all the time,
did some stuff I'm not proud of.
Yeah, yeah.
So Bakersfield.
Yeah.
It's, uh, pretty lame.
I don't know, it sounds kind of exotic to me.
(cell phone chimes)
There's no ovary rooms.
It's Nick. I got to go.
Everything okay?
Yeah, just the usual shit.
Well, this was really fun. Sorry it was co-opted by...
Yeah, it's cool. But how about next time, we keep it just us?
For sure.
Bye.
What's your favorite pasta? Because mine has been spaghetti my whole life.
-Spaghetti? -Yeah.
No, it's not spaghetti. You've never heard of my favorite pasta.
Wait. Look, guys.
Nick's in the study working.
-That must be important. -The study?
What is this, "Clue"?
He's killing Colonel Mustard with the lead pipe?
Yeah, no, I just know a lot about the layout of his house because I'm a big...
Know a lot about the layout?
Yeah, I've done a bunch of searches and looked at pictures.
-Okay, well, that's not creepy. -Is it creepy?
I just think...
-(rumbling) -(train horn blows)
(gasps)
-Get dressed. -Why? What are you--
Shh. We don't want to wake the others.
Just get dressed and come with me.
Am I in trouble?
No.
I thought you said you weren't reading anything.
Wow.
("Margherita Non Lo Sa" playing)
(horn honking)
Should I have brought my bathing suit?
No, you'll be cool.
Yeah, this is Liguria, so if someone offers you pesto,
-just fucking take it. -Okay.
-Hi. -(speaks Italian)
(in English) Welcome aboard my humble "a-boat."
Oh, no.
No, I'm sorry. That's so stupid.
Wow.
All right, so I'll see you back here same spot tonight?
-Oh, yeah. You're not going to come? -No.
-Have fun, though. -Okay. Oh.
-It must be so exciting for you. -Oh, my God, yes. This is awesome.
Oh, you got to take your shoes off. Unless they're new.
Oh, yeah.
(tranquil music playing)
This is amazing.
So how's the program treating you? Are you having fun?
Um, it's awesome. It's so awesome.
Honestly, it's just so nice to be in another country.
Right, it must be strange for you,
never having been outside of the States, huh?
-Yeah. -I sometimes take it for granted.
-Bakersfield, huh? -Yeah.
This is much better.
I'm glad you're enjoying it.
I am. I really am. I want to see and do everything.
I just want to appreciate every moment,
even though I know that sounds dumb or whatever.
I don't think that sounds dumb.
Take it all in. Maybe I could show you the Amalfi Coast sometime.
That'll really blow your mind.
Hey, I want to show you something.
I got these from a fisherman friend of mine this morning in La Spezia.
Amber...
Tell me, why are you here?
Your boat?
You invited me.
No, why are you here?
On this trip? I'm confused. My boss at home recommended me.
Why are you so guarded?
I don't think I'm guarded. Do you think I'm guarded?
If you could be famous, would you?
-Uh, no. What a random question. -Why not?
I don't know.
I don't really have any special talents or anything.
But I don't think that makes me guarded.
Before you make a call, do you rehearse what you're going to say?
Sometimes, yeah.
I guess, if it's an important call.
Hm.
What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Wow. Sorry, where is this going?
I mean, you know, I don't know. I love my family.
-I love my cat, Stevie. -No, I mean romantically.
I don't really have that in my life right now.
I kind of went through a bad breakup a few months ago.
He was really controlling, and I don't know,
he just made me feel really bad about myself a lot.
And I don't think I was great for him, either.
I was trying to break up with him, and he was talking me back into the relationship.
It just made me feel like love is supposed to be really hard work
and that no one would ever love me without makeup on, and--
Wow, that's really horrible.
You didn't deserve that.
Yeah, so, I guess I'm just kind of glad not to have love in my life right now.
I get to just be myself and have fun.
So there's been nobody else?
Oh, God, no. I mean, you know,
if anything like that's come up, I've kind of just shut it down.
Um...
Yeah, maybe I am a little guarded. I don't know.
Yeah, that's really hard.
No, I mean, it's fine. Like, I'm okay. It happens.
I'm... I'm here.
-Hm. -I mean... What about you?
Right after my sister died...
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
It was the hardest thing that I've ever been through.
Everything else pales in comparison,
meeting prime ministers, dignitaries,
pitching VCs, filming commercials. Nothing fazes me anymore.
-Sorry, I don't-- I don't ever... -It's okay.
(pensive music playing)
Uh... I was in a bad place.
I was really searching for something deeper, something less lonely.
I wanted to open myself up and not feel
limited by conventional attitudes and moorings.
And I found myself
one night in a group situation...
Feeling that I was rising up out of my body...
All this intertwining...
Beautiful skin.
You know, you start...
I don't know what...
Such an amazing way to sustain bliss.
Maybe I could show you.
Yeah, totally.
I'm really happy you're here, Amber.
(romantic music playing)
(horn honks)
I guess Kat's got to get you back.
This was incredible.
-Wow. -It was. Thank you so much.
-My pleasure. Okay, okay! -(horn honking)
Jesus.
Hey, listen, um, my friend Ricky's having this little party tomorrow night.
He's a sculptor, super talented.
Maybe you'd want to join?
If it's not too much.
-No, yeah. Amazing. I'd love to. -Great.
So it's a date?
Yes. Great.
(horn blaring)
Oh, wait, one more thing.
It's probably best if we keep this to ourselves,
because I don't want the managers thinking you're getting special treatment.
-Of course. -Okay.
That was so amazing.
-I can't even believe it. -Yeah.
Just make sure to keep it on the DL.
Right. Totally.
Yeah, and he asked me all these intimate questions,
and he really opened up to me about his family and his pain.
-Wait, wait, his pain? -Yes, it was crazy. Like,
don't tell anyone, but he told me about his sister who died, and then we kissed.
And then, he invited me to this artist party tomorrow night as his date.
Wait. What the fuck?
So you're just riding on yachts and you're his girlfriend now?
Okay, no.
I'm not his girlfriend.
-We just had an amazing day. -Oh, my God. Is he as hot in person?
-Um... yeah. -Oh, my God. I'm so jealous of you.
You're just going to be flying all over the world with your rich boyfriend,
meeting famous artists on yachts and shit. I told you this shit was going to happen.
-He's not my boyfriend. -Okay, that's your boyfriend.
How is that, Jen?
It's a little hard.
Well, that's what we refer to as al dente.
It's actually the ideal texture and doneness.
It's actually kind of gross, this texture.
-Yeah, it's really gross. -(Susie) It's just too bouncy.
(Craig) But it's ideal.
-(Jen) It's supposed to be mushier. -(Susie) Warm cat food...
Yeah, right. Well, not like...
(Jen) It's like you know when you chew or eat an eraser?
-It kind of tastes like-- -Yeah.
Who would ever have pasta like this?
-I know, right? -You guys can take your seats now.
-Okay. -Amber, how you feeling today?
-Great. -You sure?
You still don't have that migraine?
Oh, yeah. I do.
(Craig) Okay. Hm.
Well, maybe you should go back to your room and get some rest.
Yeah, that sounds great. To, like, to get rest.
(Craig) Mm-hm.
Glad she's getting some rest.
(Dana) Hey, Craig, when is Ms. Bence coming back?
(Craig) Oh, she won't be coming back.
She gone.
Now, who knows what to do with the water?
Do we pour out the water, or do we use it for later?
(Fran) I could show you a better way to boil.
-Oh! Jesus. -Hey.
Nick sent me to escort you to Ricky's party.
Great.
Um, let me just, I think, run to my room and change,
-and I'll meet you outside? -No, don't worry about that.
We got you. We need to be discreet.
Totally.
(Kat speaking in Italian)
I don't know. Is it too much?
(speaking Italian)
(woman speaks Italian)
Yeah. Si, si.
(in English) No, that's the one. We're getting that.
-Oh, Kat, I can't afford this. -Oh, don't worry. It's Nick's treat.
Che romantico. Pretty Woman, no?
(speaks Italian)
What?
-Okay. Okay. -Okay.
-Okay. -(in English) We're good.
(pensive music playing)
(indistinct chatter)
-You want a drink? -Yes, please.
-(Nick speaks Italian) -Hi.
(in English) Oh, you look so beautiful.
Been thinking about you non-stop.
Me too. I had so much fun.
Here. Come here, I want to introduce you to some of my friends.
Okay.
There he is.
-Amber, this is Ricky. -Oh, hi.
-This is his party. -Oh.
-We've been pals for a long time now. -Mm-hm.
He's almost as good at sculpting as he is at throwing parties.
I'm also a repository for Nicky's dirty secrets.
Easy.
Thank you so much for having me. Your place is unreal.
Well, thanks for crashing the party.
I'm just fucking with you.
Nicky, you were not kidding.
Her skin is so luminous.
Look at this.
Wow, do you model?
-Oh, no, never. -Never?
That's such a shame. You seem very open-minded.
Open to new experiences, am I right?
Well, I was open to coming on this trip.
She's funny too.
Amber, this is Danny, Marcello, Wendy, Frank.
Ciao.
-And this is my son, Giorgio, -Hi.
-and his lover, Bueno. -Ciao.
-So nice to meet you. -It's my pleasure.
And, uh, these here are my first loves.
No offense to Giorgio.
-This is my early work. -Oh, wow.
-Would you like a little tour? -Yes.
Is that okay with you? You mind sharing?
So this piece was made to honor the victims of Amatrice.
God, what a tragedy.
The fragility of, uh, flesh.
This piece here, this is from a series that was commissioned
by Sir Richard Branson.
-Cool. -Yeah.
He's a great guy, really down to earth.
-This one's my favorite. -You do have great taste, Nicky.
This was three weeks after giving birth to Giorgio.
It's amazing how resilient our bodies are.
Oh, Amber. This is my wife, Sofia.
Oh, hi.
Come, let's gossip.
-Yeah, go. I'll find you. -Okay.
-Got it. -Okay.
Have fun.
Oh.
Oh, no, no, no.
Stay.
Nicky speaks so highly of you.
It's adorable.
He never speaks highly of anyone. It's so strange.
Really?
Well, he's been really sweet and so generous.
Yeah, he's like that.
You seem so open-minded.
Why does everyone keep telling me that?
Oh!
There you are.
-I was looking all over for you. -Uh-oh.
Stage-one clinger.
Oh.
No, I'm not--
Oh, you're just a little turtle being forced out of your shell?
No, I'm totally kidding. Oh, my God.
-I'm totally kidding. -Okay.
-Oh, you look so beautiful. -Thank you.
Come on, baby turtle. I want to show you something.
("Lady in Red" playing over speakers)
They're looking for a little romance Given half a chance...
I requested this just for you.
-Oh, because of my dress? -Yeah.
I have been blind
The lady in red
Is dancing with me
Cheek to cheek
Fuck.
There's nobody here It's just you and me...
You look so much like her.
Like who?
My sister, Connie.
It's uncanny.
-Right. I'm sorry. -No.
I'm sorry.
Beauty by my side...
You just captivate me.
It scares me.
It brings up all these feelings.
Hey, may I?
You smell so good.
(mouthing lyrics)
I've never seen you looking So gorgeous as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright You were amazing...
Excuse me, Ricky.
-I'd like to cut in. -All right.
When you turned to me and smiled...
You know, your name in Italian would be "Ambra."
Really? That's cool.
Hey.
Don't worry. Bueno!
-Bueno!
Bueno, Bueno.
-Hey. Follow me. -Bueno. Bueno!
-Bueno! Bueno! Bueno! -Where's Nick?
-Just keep it moving. -Okay.
-You okay? -I don't know.
Bueno, Bueno, Bueno.
Bueno, Bueno, Bueno.
I'm so, so sorry. I really fucked this up. Are you okay?
Yeah, I think so.
I'm such a fucking...
I had such a lovely time with you.
I really, really don't want that to scare you.
Did it scare you? Are you scared?
-Please don't be scared. -It's okay. I'm okay.
Oh, we're good, Nick. We've got to get a move on, okay?
I'll see you soon, okay?
-Bueno! -Go, go, go.
Lady in red...
What a shit show.
Are you hungry?
I don't know what I am.
Do you want to get a nightcap?
I know a really good place.
This used to be the number one restaurant in the world. Now it's number three.
-Oh. -It's still just as good.
All right, just go along with whatever I say, okay?
-It'll be cool. -Cool.
Vivo.
Pretend to pour a salt shaker onto your tongue.
-Really? -Yeah.
Grazie.
I told him we were really hungry.
Voilà.
-Wow, this looks incredible. -There you go.
I told you.
Oh, my God.
-It's so good. -I know.
Just hurry up and eat before he gets back.
-Why? -You don't want to have to pay for this.
I thought it was free. Don't you know that guy?
Yeah, he's a fucking scumbag.
Just eat.
Come on, let's go.
Come on.
Here.
No, no, no.
Hey.
Hey!
You are such a badass.
I want to fucking kill that guy.
Let's get out of here.
Move!
Wait.
You're really...
kind of intense.
Does it scare you?
Kind of.
Wait, wait, wait. Fuck.
Oh, I don't know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm a little confused.
All that shit with Nick earlier...
It just fucking... Just kind of threw me.
-Are you for real? Nick? -I don't know. You know...
He and I, like, we have, like, a thing.
I-- I don't...
Yeah, no. Nick's a fucking baby.
He's incapable of caring about anyone but himself.
He's just tripping on you because of his sister.
But, I mean...
you're not there.
No, Amber, he does this with everyone.
You're not special. It's his MO.
Look, I'm sorry. Maybe we should just head back.
Okay, cool.
-Kat. -No, it's cool.
Let's get you back.
This is bullshit, man. What does this have to do with cooking?
-Just fucking do it, Fran. -Hey, guys.
We're doing trust falls. If you want, I can--
Sorry. I guess I overslept.
-Glad you're feeling better. -Hey, where's Susie?
She wasn't feeling well, so I said she could take the day off.
She seemed all right to me last night, if you know what I mean.
What do you mean?
Nothing, I just mean she didn't seem sick, literally.
What?
Susie.
Amber?
You scared me.
-Can we talk? -Sure.
Why aren't we as close as we used to be?
What do you mean?
You didn't tell me you weren't feeling well. Any of that.
And where were you coming from before?
You should tell me these things. We're friends.
We used to be close.
We would tell each other everything. Remember?
You weren't with Jen and Susie?
-No. -Don't lie.
-No. -If you're fucking lying,
-I will find out in one minute. -I just overslept.
Let me tell you something else.
It gets back to me that you're going around snitching and gossiping,
and telling everyone that I need what's in my suitcase.
I'm doing fine with my new pills, okay?
So stop gossiping about me, you little bitch.
-I'm sorry. -Say it again.
-I'm sorry. -What are you sorry for?
-Everything? -Good.
Okay, fine. Apology accepted, bitch.
-So we had the mice infestation. -Yeah.
Vermin are a big no-no with the health inspectors.
-Hey. -So we had the mice.
-Hey. -It was raining so much,
-we had black mold. -Hey, where's Susie?
-I think she's really sick, right? -Oh.
It's sad.
I thought I saw her leave yesterday with Kat.
With Kat?
-Yeah, I don't know. -Really?
You don't know anything about that? Not, like, maybe--
She's sick. Chill, okay?
-Morning, bambini. -Good morning.
So we're going to watch a video today, Life is Beautiful.
You couldn't find that on laser disc, there, Craig?
It stars Roberto Benigni. Anyone seen it?
-I have, Craig. -Okay, yeah.
I haven't seen it either, but it got some Oscars.
-It's supposed to be a banger. -Craig-y, I feel really sick.
-I just-- I don't feel good. -Oh, no.
You need to excuse yourself?
-Yeah, I'm sorry. Is that okay? -I don't want you to miss out.
-This is supposed to be hysterical. -I just think I need to rest.
Are they telling you to say this?
Just fucking drop it.
-I gotcha. Feel better, Jen. -Okay.
Bye, guys. I'll miss you guys. Don't worry about me. I'm okay.
Boy, they're really dropping like flies, huh?
Hey, maybe we should go whip up some wellness shots
or something, you know? Like, in the kitchen?
-Make something, Craig? -Can I talk to you outside for a second?
-Showing a movie to kill some time? -Okay.
This is some substitute teacher bullshit, Craig.
-Here. -Oh, I don't really smoke.
-It was subterfuge. -Just don't inhale.
Okay, um, listen, I think something weird might be going on.
What do you mean?
Well, don't you think it's weird that Liz Bence
suddenly disappeared with no explanation?
I guess. Is it weird?
And then, we haven't seen Susie in two days.
And, like, Jen is suddenly acting so strange, and she's not feeling well.
You had a bad migraine for two days, and I looked it up because I was worried.
And I found out normally, they only last for four hours.
Why are all the women in this program suddenly getting sick?
Have you talked to Deb recently?
Something is definitely going on with her.
So maybe it wasn't a migraine.
-Maybe it was something else. -Like what?
Poison.
-Poison? -Think about it.
Liz Bence was making all our food, right?
Then, she disappears.
All of a sudden, all of the women in the program are dropping like flies.
Okay, I didn't actually have a migraine.
That was just something I said to cover what was really going on.
Okay. Well, what was really going on?
-Remember Kat? -Nick's assistant? Of course.
Well, she secretly took me to Nick's boat.
-What? -Yeah.
She made up this whole scenario so I could spend the day with Nick,
and we went out on his huge yacht.
And then she drove me back here afterwards,
and they both told me not to tell anybody.
But Kat is kind of sketchy.
Like, she and Nick have a super volatile relationship.
She kind of hates him.
You spent the day on Nick's yacht, just the two of you?
-Yeah. And what I'm saying is, Kat-- -Wow. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. That's fun. A boat day. That's cool.
Okay, Dana? Listen to me.
What I'm trying to say is that Kat is kind of shady.
-The next time I saw Nick-- -Wait, you saw Nick again?
Yes. And she was supposed to bring me back here,
-instead she took me to Lucca. -Birthplace of Puccini.
And then just yesterday, I saw her taking Susie away.
And she got back last night, and Susie was gone.
And she left me some book about kidnapping.
If something sketchy is going on here,
maybe Kat has something to do with it.
Hey, Craig.
I have to go to the bathroom so bad.
Is it okay if I go to the bathroom? Because I've got to go so bad.
Yeah.
Thanks. Oh, man.
So I got all these photos from the other manager trips.
Do you notice anything?
Um... there's regular ones and there's crazy ones?
-They're making silly faces and stuff? -Yeah, but look closer.
Almost all the managers are women, and if you look at Kat,
she's next to the prettiest girl in every single photo.
You think I'm the prettiest girl?
Look, it's all women.
Fuck. Oh, my God.
I made out with Kat.
Okay, yeah. You know, that's--
But now, it makes so much sense why she was so upset with Nick this whole time.
Like, she was jealous of him and me. Maybe we were ruining her whole plan?
-But jealous about what? -Him and I making out and stuff.
-She saw it when she picked me up. -Wait, you made out with Nick too?
Why are our trips so different?
Wait a second.
I just thought of something.
Fran and I both have unisex names.
They thought we were women too.
And that is why Nick was so weird when we first met, right?
It's not just Kat. It's Nick too.
No, no, no. I don't think it is Nick.
I haven't even seen Nick with any other women, only Kat.
And Kat, she's been steering me to suspect him this whole time.
You're right. Kat's the poisoner.
No, I don't think there's poison.
I feel like we moved on from the poison thing.
I think that Kat has developed this whole program to hook up.
I don't know.
I mean, Nick is super rich. He oversees everything about the program.
There's no way something like this could happen without him knowing about it.
-I think Nick's the mastermind. -No-- Shh.
What the fuck?
Amber?
Amber!
Amber?
I can see you.
Were you following me? What are you doing?
I should ask you the same question.
-I wasn't following you. -No. Not the following part.
-What are you doing? -What do you mean?
The whole yacht-seduction thing.
-You do this with all the managers? -Seduction?
Amber, listen to yourself. You sound really dysregulated.
Should I be worried about you?
It's just all these women are acting so strange and disappearing.
And Kat said--
I don't know anything about any women disappearing.
Kat said that?
You need to stay away from her. She's a trickster. I fired her.
-What? When? -This morning.
It's been a long time coming.
She's unstable. She's a deeply unhappy person.
Don't be like her. It didn't end well for her.
Didn't end...
Amber, don't throw this away.
Do you have oysters for Jen too?
You're doing it again, baby turtle.
You're pushing me away like you always do and going in your little shell.
Why are you so afraid of being loved?
Are you serious? Why would you say that to me?
You admitted you sabotaged all your past relationships.
It's what you're doing now.
I can't believe you would use that against me.
-You're fucking gaslighting me. -Gaslighting you?
I feel like I've been really sensitive to you
and have had nothing but the purest intentions.
Look, I'm hosting a fete tomorrow night
-and I thought maybe-- -No!
Something shady is going on here with you. I know it.
Look, maybe take a moment and realize you're in Italy.
Fuck Italy.
Shit.
-You're back. -You were right.
-It is Nick, the fucking asshole. -Oh, that creep.
I followed him and Jen. He took her to the yacht.
He denied everything.
-And Kat's gone. -Kat's gone?
Yeah, he said she's fired. But who knows what's true?
He's making me think I'm crazy.
He's using shit against me from my past.
What does that mean?
The other day on the boat, he was asking me all these intimate questions,
and I told him some really private stuff. I'm such a fucking idiot.
Whoa. Like what private stuff?
-It's private. -Sorry.
But it was really weird, because it started out super simply.
Like, "If you could be famous, would you?" But then, he said,
"What roles do love and affection play in your life?" Who even talks like that?
"When did you last sing to yourself?"
Last week, why?
Look.
"The New York Times' 36 Questions that Lead to Love."
-Oh, my God. -Nick is the mastermind.
Okay, we've got to get the fuck out of here.
Right. Well, Craig has our passports.
We're American citizens, and so we have a right to demand our passports back now.
And so, we do demand that.
Furthermore, we want to be flown out of here tonight.
Now.
Uh, well, yeah, that's not going to happen.
Look, we know there's something shady going on,
and we just want to leave quietly.
So just give us our passports and we won't report any of this.
Wait. What? What's that, now?
All these "women" getting "sick"...
What are these air quotes about? I'm not following.
Where's Liz? Where's Susie, huh?
We know they're not just getting sick, Craig.
So Lizzie was only scheduled to be here two days, and she's left.
Well, what about my migraine? I didn't even have one.
Oh, you didn't?
Why did you say you did?
Listen, guys, tomorrow's the last day.
It's probably best not to rock the boat.
I have a woman's name.
(tense pensive music playing)
So I need to apologize once again for showing Life is Beautiful. My bad.
I'll be reading the synopses from here on out.
I'd also like to remind everyone that you're very lucky to be here,
and you should be very appreciative of this opportunity.
So keep it professional and positive, okay?
So in that spirit, let's do some trust building exercises today.
This one's called "Pass the Zuke."
Uh, share something personal about yourselves.
Perhaps something you learned on this trip.
-I'll start. -I got a better idea, Craig.
We should play Mafia.
It's really fun and it's a great way to build trust.
All right, so I'm going to hand out these little cards.
They're going to tell you if you are a villager or a member of the Mafia.
And then we're all going to close our eyes.
Mafia members will open them, make eye contact,
and carefully choose someone to kill.
-Hey, Nick. -Hey, Nick.
Ciao, amici.
Amber, could we have a word outside, please?
-I'm good. -She's good.
Hey, you want to play, Nick?
Okay. Sure.
-What's the game? -Mafia.
-Great. -Awesome.
-Unreal. -Okay.
Shuffle these boys up. Keep those close to the vest.
Don't let anyone know who you are.
-Do you understand the game, Deb? -Yes.
-I think I do. -Here you go, my don.
Okay, everybody. It's morning time.
The sun is rising. The birds are chirping. You just had a restful sleep.
And in a second, everyone's going to open their eyes, except for...
Dana.
-Dana, you're dead, bro. -Okay.
Well, obviously, it was Nick. Right?
-What'd you do with them? -Who?
Wait. Dana, you're not allowed to talk. You're dead.
-Why would you think that I did it? -Well, because you know I know.
I mean, it's so obvious.
Know what, Dana?
Dana, zip it up, dude, okay?
Were you Mafia or were you a villager?
-Yeah, maybe play it cool. -No.
No. He makes himself out to be this amazing guy, right?
With this amazing family.
And that bringing all of us here will let us be a part of that.
And, instead...
he just totally snubs me, and this program sucks!
It sucks! I'm sorry.
You just fly a bunch of white people out here.
You make a Bolognese.
You watch moves in this dilapidated, low-rent shithole.
You have no other plan.
I hear trains go by every fucking three seconds.
My room has silverfish in it, and they really scare me,
but I don't want to kill them, so I'm just living with fucking silverfish?!
Fuck this!
-I'm Persian. -Okay. I'm sorry.
But where is everyone disappearing to?
-Nick, are you poisoning them? -Whoa! Stop it.
-You're being a dick, Dana. -No, no, no. It's okay.
You want to talk about family?
You ever held your sister's hand as she died right in front of you?
No, I haven't. That would be an incredible coincidence.
I have.
Connie.
Connie was my everything.
This isn't what I signed up for.
Tuscan Grove was supposed to be a fine-dining experience,
so I didn't know it was going to snowball into some fucking populist,
mass-produced, fucking fast food bullshit.
It was supposed to be my Spago, my Chez Panisse.
I've accepted what it's become, a massive success. Great.
And now I try and create a beautiful experience for all of you, inviting...
you into my home...
my villa, my...
My life.
And you have the nerve to accuse me?
I really put my heart on the line this time.
Never again.
It hurts. It hurts.
I'm sorry.
Thank you for inviting me into your little game.
But I should go.
-No, no, no. -Nick, come on, man.
Nico.
Way to go, Dana, you pussy.
Hey, fuck you, Fran. You're a fraud.
-What'd you say? -You're a fraud.
I saw your episode of Chef's Challenge, and a fucking tween beat you.
A tween?! Elliot is 13 and a half years old. That's not a tween.
And furthermore, the rules are fucking bullshit.
Think about it. They edited it to make me look like an asshole.
-You weren't even there. Fuck you. - Enough!
This is supposed to be a teambuilding exercise.
Dana, cool out.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Big man Craig standing up! You're a fucking fascist, okay?
You have no right to kidnap us like this, all right?
I already apologized about the video. Sit down.
-I'm not talking about the video. -Dead.
I'm talking about the fact that you're a fucking patchouli Charles Manson bitch
who I'm about to fuck up!
-Oh, we got a hot shot. -You're out of your mind.
-Do you want to go back to Teaneck? -Hey, hey.
I'm from Tenafly.
Dana, come on. Sit down now.
-Sit down. -Take off your shirt!
-Sit down! -I'm not gonna.
-Sit down! -No!
-Hey! Sit down! -I'm not about to take my...
-Hey, hey! -Now you're fucked!
-No. -Now you're fucked!
Hey, come on, now.
Now my shirt's off, and I can't stop
-till I spill blood! -I don't know.
-Sit down! -Okay!
Good. We won't fight.
I'm starting to feel sick,
because I guess something seems to be going around.
-I'm going to go drink at the villa. -What? What?
What the hell?
-I think Deb's the killer. -You bitch!
You're all bitches! All of you!
-Oh, my God! -Hey. Sorry.
It's okay.
Are you okay? Because that was a lot before.
No, I had to create a diversion.
Listen, you've got to come with me. There is something big going on.
All these people are showing up in fancy clothes.
Nick told me he was having a party tonight.
-Are you okay? -Yeah.
-But they have machine guns. -Machine guns?!
-What the fuck? -Holy shit. It's murder.
It's murder. I knew it.
What the fuck?
Fucking shit...
Okay. Okay. I'm going to tail her. You stay here, okay?
-And be careful. -Wait, wait. Why?
What kind of plan is that? Why do we keep putting ourselves in danger?
I got this.
Sorry. Fuck.
Fuck!
Help!
Help!
Fuck.
Goddamn it.
Deb?
Deb?
It happened so fast.
Amber!
Amber!
Fran! Fran! Open up!
Yeah? One sec.
Come on, come on, come on.
-Oh, hey. -We've got to get out of here.
Dana's dead.
Deb's in on it.
Nick and Craig have Liz tied up in the villa for some kind of human sacrifice,
I don't know. But we got to go. We got to go.
-Is this a bit? -Dude, this is really happening.
We got to get Jen and get the fuck out of here.
Okay. Did you take too much melatonin, or what?
Dana is dead! This is for real!
Oh, my God.
-She's coming. She's coming. Come on. -Who's coming?
-Oh, Jesus. -Jen, Jen, Jen.
Go, go!
-Jen. -Jen.
Jen. Jen.
She's fucking dead.
-I told you. -Shit!
-Hide, hide, hide. -Okay. Hide, hide, hide.
Okay, wait. So, what's happening?
Dana and I saw Liz tied up in the villa.
We split up, and then I found him dead with Deb standing over him.
They knew he knew.
But basically, Nick runs this whole program to get unsuspecting women here
and seduce them, and now people are getting murdered.
-Why? -I don't know!
But you know how everyone keeps disappearing
and how you have a woman's name?
What?
Look, I keep trying 911,
-but it's not working. -Amber?
Amber?
Amber.
Where are you?
Fucking bitch.
Oh, my God.
Okay, I'm trying 911, but I think they have it jammed.
Yo!
Where you been?
Wait. Who's that?
I'm Fran. What's up?
We're being hunted, and people have been murdered.
What the fuck? Did you call 911?
-It's not working. -Yeah, I think they jammed it.
-Let's make a run for it. -Okay.
Amber?
Wait. What just happened? Is that the killer?
Amber?
Why are we running towards the fucking villa?
-I don't know. I don't know. -Some fucking plan.
Help. Help.
-He's here. -Whoa, he's alive.
Wait, who is alive?
-Help me. -Who was that?
-Hey, hey. -Help.
-Oh, and he's covered in piss. -Oh, God.
Are you okay?
-What did Deb do to you? -Not Deb, pigs.
Pigs?
That's some fucking Manson hippie race-war bullshit.
-Guys. Guys. -You know, helter-skelter, baby.
We've got to go! We've got to run! Come on!
Go! Go! Go!
-What the shit is this? -It's the atrium.
Dana. Dana, don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep.
You know this place. Tell us where to go.
-Where do we hide? -Study.
Study?
Where is that? Dana, Dana!
-Is he okay? -I don't know.
-What do we do? -Oh, I remember.
-He pointed it out. -My friend is in Italy,
and they're running away from a serial killer.
-Let's go that way. -Okay.
Italy! Italy, the country.
What? Who do I call? What do you mean you don't know?
Hey. Welcome.
Guys, this is Amber. She came.
-Mama Martucci? -You brought friends. That's great.
It's Lucca porn.
That's what I was telling you about at the bar.
Isn't she gorgeous?
Okay, this is not what it looks like.
Wait. This is not Lucca porn? Because it looks exactly like Lucca porn.
What the fuck?!
Okay... Sorry. My alarm didn't go off.
(Emily) I got it. In Italy, it's not 911. It's 112.
Uh... you guys.
Okay.
Okay, cool.
All right.
There's nothing you can do? I can't fill out a police report or anything?
So this is all kind of exciting. I still have my butt plug in.
-So do I. -You do?
Oh, my God!
-Hey. -Hey.
-How you doing? -Thanks.
Well, that wasn't really how I saw that playing out.
Yeah. But we were kind of right about the sex stuff.
-Yeah. -And I got to see Mama Martucci.
So, um, I guess this is goodbye.
Yeah.
It was really nice to get to know you a little.
-Thanks for the adventure. -Uh, yeah, anytime.
Take care.
Hey.
Yeah, well, we really did it this time, eh, kid?
Sure.
Feel better.
Is this the part where we kiss?
-Um... -Or... Oh, no. Okay.
And then we were... I tried to warn everyone.
I told them. And then there were the pigs. There were pigs.
Were there pigs?
I think the pills my pharmacist gave me, they were the wrong pills.
Ciao.
-Oh, my God. -What happened? Shit go down?
-Where have you been? -I was in Genoa. It was chill.
-Miss me? -Yeah.
I mean, I don't know why...
-Is that a dildo gun? -Yeah.
Now the ballroom's empty Everybody I've known
It's so creepy how she can sleep like that.
Has been and gone With the music over...
Okay, well, ragazzi.
I guess this is the end of the line.
I hope you cherish these memories for the rest of your lives.
It has been an honor.
And I also want to remind you that you all signed NDAs,
which are legally binding and actionable
and preclude you from discussing any and all details from the trip.
-Jesus. -Ciao, amici.
Spin me round
Spin me round
Spin me round
Now there must be something
In what they say of all things
Great and small
There's a dozen roses...
Hey. Oh, my God.
If it logs you out, sometimes it just needs to be reset,
which we do with the admin password.
-That's the bank? -Yeah.
It should be normal stuff looking breathtaking.
Yeah.
Spin me round Spin me round
Spin me round Spin me round
Spin me round
Spin me round Spin me round
Spin me round Spin me round
Spin me round
Oh, my God. The man himself. I can't believe you're here.
I can't believe... Can you take a picture with me?
Jake, come over here.
Could you take a picture? Get your phone out. Hurry up.
What are you doing here?
I've been thinking a lot about what happened.
That was no way to say goodbye.
-Yeah. -Look, I feel terrible.
My friends and I have been having those kind of parties for so long,
maybe I took it for granted.
I always invite managers from the group, and whoever comes, comes.
Yikes.
No. No, I just really want everyone to have a good time,
and I thought you were into that kind of thing
because of what we talked about.
When I told you about my experiences with group sex
and sustained bliss from Tantric techniques and asked
if you were into that kind of thing and you said yes?
Okay.
So, wow, I didn't...
That's...
I wondered why you said "sustained bliss." I must have zoned out.
But I don't think that excuses all of your behavior.
Oh, no, no, no. I agree. I've done regrettable things.
And after everything that happened, I've been doing a lot of soul searching,
and I've realized that it's best for me, and for others,
if I swear off any kind of physical intimacy with anyone for a while.
I'm celibate now.
Look, baby turtle,
meeting you genuinely opened me up.
I can't believe you came all this way to tell me that.
I really needed to see you again.
That's wild.
I guess I was hoping
you'd take me up on my offer to sail the Amalfi Coast together...
as my primary.
I want to be with you...
only.
Come on, baby turtle.
Say yes.
You know what? I don't think so.
I think it's actually kind of inappropriate, since you're my boss.
Isn't that why you kept telling me not to tell anybody?
Okay.
Uh... are you sure?
I'm sure.
I'm good here.
But I hope you have a safe trip back to wherever.
I got you something.
I don't want this.
I'm not your baby turtle.
I think you should go.
Wow.
Okay.
Because I thought maybe...
Bye, Nick.
Go.
Get the fuck out of here!
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Alex
I'm not in love
So don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because
I call you up
Don't get me wrong Don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no, no
It's because
I like to see you
But then again
That doesn't mean You mean that much to me
So if I call you
Don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends About the two of us
I'm not in love, no, no
It's because.
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.