Original subtitles

So my last housemate left all of a sudden, but fortunately through my work,

a position came up in Los Angeles, so I needed to find a new housemate.

Hello.

The grandmaster was the only one who answered my Craigslist ad.

Imagine that.

I was the only one. Well, lucky me.

At first, I thought he was just another Hollywood-type person. Then I realized

he was more than likely from another planet.

I like learning about your culture.

What do you call this?

Toast. Yes.

I come from Sakaar. It's a haven for lost things.

That sounds kind of poetic, but it's really kind of a catch-all place.

And now, without boring you with the details, I had formerly, for a rather

long period of time, an assistant-slash-bodyguard named Topaz.

And now, you know, I'm looking for a new assistant, and you know who seems to fit

the bill just perfectly, believe it or not, is Daryl.

He's starting to make me dress up in Topaz's armor.

He's getting me to do a lot of things for him, do the dishes, drive him

around, and I also do his laundry. He says he's over one million years old,

which I find hard to believe because he acts quite young, almost immature.

He is a really nice guy. It's the first thing I noticed about him. He's very

charming and persuasive.

But sometimes he completely loses his temper.

Damn it! God damn it! I don't do this for everybody, but I'm going to share

with you some of the drawings that I've made here in Daryl's house. They're all

of Daryl. Now watch this. So here's the first one.

I gave him an extra long tie.

Tiggle, tiggle, tiggle.

This is Daryl on a horse.

Oh, he's so happy.

And the horse has my face. Did you notice?

That's also Daryl as a crying cyclops. Oh, my golly. Well, look at this.

Here's Daryl asleep right there.

And, of course, he's dreaming about me.

My eye fell upon him, and then I kind of knew it right away. He's kind of like my

muse. He just interests me strangely.

What am I working on at the moment? Well, um...

You know, I'm fixing to move in on this new planet. Now, I've kind of taken a

liking to it, so I'm going to rule Earth.

Lately, he started talking about taking over Earth. I'm not sure how he would go

about starting to take over Earth, but we made a video.

Peoples of planet Earth, my name is Grandmaster, and I'm

about to become your ruler.

Those who resist me, let me say.

will become melted.

This is my melting stick.

Yeah, if people displease me, I can melt them.

How many views have we got now?

One. One? That's not bad.

But that's just us because we're watching it.

Maybe you need to refresh the window.

Okay. Okay.

And how many views do we have now? Now we've got two. Ah, good, good, two. So

we're, we're, now we're in business.

That second one is up too. We've seen it twice. We might need to make another

video advertising the original video. You know, anybody who could play music?

Some of your, some of your work friends? From the top. Ready? Three, four.

Nope, nope, nope.

Wow, David.

Why are you playing a Zimbledorp when we're obviously doing a Zets? Why are

you doing that?

I don't know what that is.

All right.

From the top. One, two.

One, two, three. I don't want to go to sleep without clearing up a few things,

okay? I apologize for melting David.

We might want to call his parents and just let them know.

I guess I should be the one to call.

But can we practice what we're going to say?

Okay, ring, ring, ring.

Hello. Hello, who's this?

This is Mrs. Richardson.

Oh, Mrs. Richardson. I'm not sure if that's the best way to start.

Well, let's see what happens. You try to channel her.

Mrs. Richardson.

Oh, how are you, Mrs. Richardson?

You can call me Grandmaster.

Mrs. Richardson, what are you wearing?

I'm just wearing a nightgown.

Oh, you've got to be kidding.

What color?

Blue. Oh, that's my favorite color. Mrs. Richardson, David's melted.

So you may be wondering what will become of Daryl when I take over this planet.

Well, he's going to...

rule beside me. Well, he's going to stand beside me. I'm going to be ruling,

but he's going to be standing beside me.

And I don't like saying this, but you look at him, and he stares right back at

you, and I can't tell if he wants to just hang out or melt me.

I love you, Daryl.

Do you have anything to say to that?

I love you too.

I didn't force him to say that.

That warms me terrifically.

Thank you.

I think, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm really beginning to miss my old

housemate.