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1
00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:15,121
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
2
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,490
Welcome to Jackass.
3
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:32,776
Hello. I'm Johnny Knoxville
4
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:35,537
and I'm about to rent a car.
5
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:40,479
- What's up?
- Hi, I have a reservation.
6
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,680
Okay, I need a driver's license
and a credit card.
7
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:43,983
All right.
8
00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,352
I need a signature here
9
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:48,484
that you're going to use
your coverage instead of ours.
10
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,688
- Is that white one us?
- Yes.
11
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:53,890
And we're gonna walk around it,
inspect it together.
12
00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:57,395
Looks pretty good.
13
00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:00,270
I'm just looking for dents
and major scratches.
14
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:01,397
Yeah.
15
00:04:01,507 --> 00:04:02,769
Something major, gonna write it down.
16
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:04,866
- Little ding there.
- Yeah.
17
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,270
No, we'll take good care of her.
18
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:08,472
- Thank you.
- Have a good week.
19
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,344
- You, too.
- Thank you.
20
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:38,067
- I'm Johnny.
- Hey, man.
21
00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:41,203
We're gonna be doing
a hell of a lot of work here today.
22
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:56,291
Trust us. We're gonna have fun.
23
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:08,563
Hi. I'm Johnny Knoxville,
24
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:11,838
and this is called
the Rent-a-Car Crash-Up Derby.
25
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,762
Oh, fuck!
26
00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:49,511
You guys are gonna die!
27
00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:04,819
Shut the car off before it gets hot.
28
00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:07,365
Oh, fuck!
29
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,606
I guess we didn't reinforce
the windshield.
30
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,609
That fucker kept...
Missed me by that much.
31
00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:21,577
That's why you got
the roll bars behind you, dude.
32
00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:33,115
- Whose car is this?
- This is your guys' car.
33
00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:35,786
I rented it from you earlier.
34
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:39,228
- Yes. Yeah, what...
- Yeah, I hit a dog.
35
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,323
A dog didn't cause this.
36
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,232
Come on in.
37
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:48,034
I had a accident, as you can see.
38
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,768
I was... I mean, I drink.
39
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:51,867
I just black out, so I...
40
00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:56,842
- Were you drinking or anything?
- Yeah, I had a little, to be honest.
41
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,775
Is there any license plates on it?
42
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:01,786
- There was.
- Yeah?
43
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:04,652
Well, hopefully you guys
will incur some of the cost.
44
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:05,781
Oh, no.
45
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:07,951
'Cause I rented it
from you guys fair and square.
46
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:09,027
Yeah.
47
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,858
I don't want to get stuck
with the whole charge of it.
48
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:13,955
Well, you are gonna get stuck
with the entire thing.
49
00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:17,194
Well, I don't think I should.
I think you guys should help.
50
00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:20,739
No. You declined
any additional coverage.
51
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,001
Right there. You declined it.
52
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:25,706
Yeah, but that's just paperwork,
you know?
53
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:28,076
- That's a legal contract.
- Yeah, but I was a little... I was...
54
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,672
I had a few to drink
when I signed that, too, so...
55
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:32,944
Well, we're gonna have to
get this worked out.
56
00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:35,145
Yeah, you're gonna have
to pay for that car.
57
00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:37,017
Well, you're gonna have to help me
pay for that car.
58
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,147
No, we don't do that.
59
00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:41,124
I returned it with a full tank of gas.
60
00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:44,086
You returned it demolished.
61
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,721
Well, it's got a full tank of gas.
62
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:48,266
That's the least of our worries
right now, is the gas.
63
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:50,096
- Oh.
- This is an unmitigated outrage.
64
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,637
I've never seen anything like this before.
65
00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:56,139
- What does that mean?
- No one's ever done that.
66
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,347
Well, I can't pay for it.
67
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:06,117
- Well, you're gonna have to.
- Well, I ain't.
68
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,413
Look, I'm gonna let
you two guys work it out
69
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:11,319
and I'm gonna go outside,
70
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,222
but that car's gonna have to be paid for.
71
00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:32,971
"F" you!
72
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,592
Are you all right?
73
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:06,111
You all right?
74
00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:11,248
Knoxville knocked my nuts in half.
75
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,424
This is the Muscle Stimulator.
76
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,690
Oh, it hurts my teeth!
77
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:33,762
I can't even turn it off.
78
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,108
How is that supposed to help?
79
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:43,613
- Okay, are you ready?
- Yeah.
80
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:47,280
Think about your...
81
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,918
Okay, okay, I got it.
I'm taking care of you.
82
00:09:51,023 --> 00:09:52,786
- It's all right. Okay.
- Oh, my God, it's so bad.
83
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,325
- It's cool. You cool?
- Yeah. I'm good.
84
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,758
Okay. Come on.
85
00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:58,022
Ease up. Come on. Daddy's got you.
86
00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:01,827
- Oh, my God, it's so fucking bad.
- Daddy's got you. Come on.
87
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,135
You're gonna have tits of steel.
88
00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:07,899
Yeah, you're so buff right now.
89
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:10,366
- Yeah, this goes on the gooch.
- Yeah, go, go, go, come on.
90
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:11,841
- This goes on the gooch.
- Dude, he's done.
91
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,571
Who's gonna do the gooch?
92
00:10:14,513 --> 00:10:16,242
In case you didn't know
what the gooch is,
93
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:20,445
the gooch is the spot
between your balls and butt hole, and...
94
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,737
Does it smell like...
95
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,369
- Does it smell like man?
- Smell. Just smell it.
96
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,812
- Just smell it.
- Ehren, smell it.
97
00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:57,081
No, come on.
98
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:58,713
Do your balls first,
just to get it over with.
99
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,121
Yeah, yeah, let's get it over with.
100
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:02,126
- I'll do it, I'll do it. I'll...
- Balls is crazy.
101
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,401
- Here's some...
- Okay.
102
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,905
- Don't turn it on till he's solid.
- No, I'm not. I'm over it.
103
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,998
It's totally...
104
00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:18,809
I'm so scared right now.
105
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,175
- Are we ready?
- You're so gone, man.
106
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,338
Okay.
107
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:35,760
- He likes it! He likes it!
- Oh, my God!
108
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,260
He likes it.
109
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:54,845
Afternoon. How you doing?
110
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,846
Oh. Son of a bitch.
111
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:05,290
What happened?
112
00:12:06,158 --> 00:12:07,386
Oh, man!
113
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:39,715
- Fuck!
- Fuck! Oh!
114
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:24,495
Whoa!
115
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,321
Yes! That was the best thing
I've ever seen.
116
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:49,394
What?
117
00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:54,690
Oh, fuck, dude.
118
00:13:57,803 --> 00:13:59,771
Nice, yeah.
119
00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:14,176
Are you okay? Are you okay?
Are you okay?
120
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,550
- Get over here!
- Help him! Help him! Help him!
121
00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:17,883
- Medic!
- No, no, no, no.
122
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:20,015
- Don't move him. Don't move him!
- Oh, shit.
123
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:23,089
That had bad news written all over it.
124
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:24,219
Are you okay? You all right?
125
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,924
That was like the worst thing
that could ever happen, right there.
126
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,431
Dunn can't drive for shit.
127
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,128
I don't know what happened.
I just remember we went in the air,
128
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:34,365
and the next thing I knowI'm just fucked.
129
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:35,497
Look at that cart.
130
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,099
Dude, you were hauling so much ass.
131
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:45,073
We're here in Tokyo,
and I feel like partying.
132
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:50,648
Hi. I'm Party Boy.
133
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:53,086
Oh, can I try this?
134
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,057
Here we go.
135
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,357
That's my party music.
136
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:01,290
You like it?
Kind of makes you wanna party, huh?
137
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:04,594
Kind of feel like partying right now.
138
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,093
Ready?
139
00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:21,469
See, that's what the big ones do,
but sometimes they don't...
140
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,272
It'll take a while before...
141
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:24,781
Oh, fuck!
142
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,342
Don't pull on it, man.
143
00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:28,682
You can't pry his mouth open.
144
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:32,787
It's slowly getting away. It's slowly...
145
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:33,983
Is he opening it?
146
00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:37,426
No, you're twisting him!
You're fucking twisting him!
147
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:41,897
Oh, fuck! He's got my nipple, dude.
He's got my fucking nipple.
148
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,059
Wait, wait, he's gonna open it.
149
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:45,602
- I know. I know. Hang on, hang on.
- Hang on. Don't move.
150
00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:50,741
You little bastard!
151
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,936
Oh, look at the teeth marks.
152
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,344
Man.
153
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:08,559
I'm Bunny, the lifeguard,
154
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:11,561
and if any of these alligators
try to ruin our swimming,
155
00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:15,030
I'm gonna rassle them down
and probably have my way with them.
156
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:17,867
If he falls and he lands near an alligator,
157
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,200
and an alligator grabs a hold of him,
Steve-O will relax,
158
00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:21,533
let the alligator take him
159
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,505
and hope that
the alligator will release him.
160
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,703
Hi. I'm Steve-O,
and this is Alligator Tightrope.
161
00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:34,007
Oh, shit.
162
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,609
There's no such thing
as failure, Steve-O.
163
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:36,847
Take another step.
164
00:17:36,955 --> 00:17:38,286
You got it.
165
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,891
One thing I know is
good tightrope walking.
166
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,121
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
167
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,221
You're cool. You're good.
168
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:51,868
Go put the chicken on him!
169
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:54,136
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
170
00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:59,741
- Oh, shit.
- There you go.
171
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,836
- Yeah, there you go.
- Food, food, food, food.
172
00:18:01,947 --> 00:18:03,812
Go back down a little bit.
173
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:07,849
- Go, keep going, Steve-O.
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
174
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,114
Yeah!
175
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:18,921
Keep going, Steve-O! Keep going!
Keep going, Steve-O!
176
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:21,124
Keep your head up, Steve-O!
177
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,662
Keep your head up! Keep your head up!
178
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,965
- They got you now. You're doing good!
- Keep your head up!
179
00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:28,733
Keep your butt up!
180
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,274
You got it! All right, all right!
181
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:31,967
Keep your butt...
182
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:42,376
- Put it in your ass and let him take it.
- Come on.
183
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:43,978
Stick the bone up your ass.
184
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:45,181
And let him pull it out.
185
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,814
Food, food, food, food!
186
00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:48,586
- Get ready.
- Here it comes. Here it comes.
187
00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:54,289
- Stay there. Don't move. Don't move.
- It'll be over before you know it.
188
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:56,799
Don't look! Don't look, Steve-O.
Don't look.
189
00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:58,631
Don't look, Steve-O! Don't look!
190
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:01,232
Stay still. Stay still.
191
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:05,802
- He's going. He's got it.
- Don't look! Don't look!
192
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,811
Don't move!
193
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,713
- Hang on!
- Hold still! Hold still!
194
00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:23,127
I ran straight into a crocodile.
What the hell.
195
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:24,689
Oh, my God.
196
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:28,061
- Why can't you walk on a tightrope?
- I don't know.
197
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,998
I thought you'd do it.
198
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:31,662
Yeah.
199
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:33,765
I just... I don't know, man.
200
00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:35,134
But I'm sure I could learn,
201
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,708
but today, you know,
today was my first try.
202
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:43,341
I'm Bam Margera,
and my parents are dead asleep.
203
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:44,881
It's 12:42 right now
204
00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:47,508
and Phil has to be at work
at 5:00 in the morning.
205
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,314
So he's trying to get
a good night's sleep
206
00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:51,787
and I'm gonna go wake his ass up.
207
00:20:37,936 --> 00:20:39,267
I'm dying!
208
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:41,667
Holy shit!
209
00:20:43,141 --> 00:20:44,506
Oh, my God, I'm opening the windows.
210
00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:46,305
- Getting crazy over here.
- Look at Phil's tummy.
211
00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:48,844
Oh, my God!
212
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:52,681
Phil, you gotta be up
for 5:00 in the morning tonight.
213
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:54,274
6:00, gotta be at work.
214
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,488
Yo, here he comes.
Here he comes. Here he comes.
215
00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:35,718
Jesus Christ, Bam!
216
00:21:35,827 --> 00:21:37,658
I almost broke my leg
getting out of there!
217
00:21:37,763 --> 00:21:40,789
There's shit all over the goddamn van.
How am I going to work now?
218
00:21:57,683 --> 00:21:58,707
Go!
219
00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:02,677
I... Jesus!
220
00:23:08,286 --> 00:23:09,981
What are you doing?
221
00:23:10,722 --> 00:23:12,519
You know,
I ought to arrest you right now
222
00:23:12,624 --> 00:23:14,319
with all that in your clothes.
223
00:23:14,426 --> 00:23:16,485
- What's wrong with you?
- What are you talking about?
224
00:23:16,595 --> 00:23:17,994
Get this out of your pocket, man!
225
00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:19,393
- That's all me!
- All of this!
226
00:23:19,498 --> 00:23:21,625
- All of that!
- That's all me!
227
00:23:22,033 --> 00:23:23,898
What is this bullshit?
228
00:23:29,207 --> 00:23:30,902
- What is wrong with you?
- Those are my bananas.
229
00:23:31,009 --> 00:23:32,237
Don't never come in here no more, man!
230
00:23:32,344 --> 00:23:33,311
What are you...
231
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:36,848
Get out! And take the other stuff
out of your pockets.
232
00:23:38,183 --> 00:23:39,616
- Jeez!
- Get it all out!
233
00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:42,380
- That's how you treat an old man?
- Yep. Get out! Go!
234
00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:45,285
An old man that steals, I can't believe it.
235
00:23:49,528 --> 00:23:52,554
Hey, man, what kind of games
you playing? Get out!
236
00:23:55,567 --> 00:23:57,660
- Get out, man!
- God damn it!
237
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:05,542
What is wrong with you?
238
00:24:06,011 --> 00:24:07,205
Get out!
239
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:16,647
Man, quit playing!
240
00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:24,627
- I was Lon Chaney's lover!
- Go back and love him!
241
00:24:26,665 --> 00:24:28,860
So, we're gonna go
to this hardware store.
242
00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:30,628
They sell toilets.
243
00:24:31,269 --> 00:24:33,169
And I'm gonna take a shit
right in one of the toilets.
244
00:24:33,271 --> 00:24:36,900
I'm gonna shit in my pants
before we get to that fucking place.
245
00:24:37,008 --> 00:24:38,100
Dave, fight it, man.
246
00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:40,178
And I don't even want
to make a joke about it right now
247
00:24:40,278 --> 00:24:41,472
'cause I just wanna hold it in.
248
00:24:43,248 --> 00:24:44,237
- Gotta poo?
- Pretty much.
249
00:24:44,349 --> 00:24:46,078
- Really?
- Yeah. Like, really bad.
250
00:24:46,184 --> 00:24:47,549
Don't... Do you want to ruin everything?
251
00:24:47,652 --> 00:24:49,552
- I swear to God, it's...
- Really? Like, that bad?
252
00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:50,746
Yeah, like, it's a problem.
253
00:24:50,856 --> 00:24:52,721
Is this the worst
you've ever had to go boom-boom?
254
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:54,086
No, no.
255
00:24:54,192 --> 00:24:55,716
I shit my pants at the fair.
256
00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:57,522
Oh, dude, he's shitting right now.
257
00:24:57,629 --> 00:24:58,994
Get out of the car!
258
00:24:59,097 --> 00:25:00,826
Oh, get out, dude, get out!
259
00:25:00,932 --> 00:25:02,900
No shit, get out of here!
260
00:25:03,568 --> 00:25:06,298
Come on, man,
get out of the fucking car.
261
00:25:07,038 --> 00:25:09,131
Get out of the fucking car!
262
00:25:12,477 --> 00:25:13,808
Oh! What do I do?
263
00:25:13,912 --> 00:25:15,903
- Did you shit?
- Did you do it?
264
00:25:16,915 --> 00:25:20,942
Holy shit!
I'm taking a cab back to the hotel.
265
00:25:28,293 --> 00:25:31,160
He just shat everywhere.
266
00:25:32,697 --> 00:25:33,789
That's bad.
267
00:26:05,664 --> 00:26:06,631
Look.
268
00:26:06,898 --> 00:26:10,356
- What's wrong, man?
- I had to sit there while he shat.
269
00:26:14,873 --> 00:26:17,000
I need to go home right now.
270
00:26:17,842 --> 00:26:19,571
- It's on my hand.
- Just let them see it.
271
00:26:51,509 --> 00:26:53,636
Is that a bolt? We have very...
272
00:26:53,745 --> 00:26:54,973
What the hell you doing?
273
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,445
- What was that?
- What are you doing?
274
00:26:56,548 --> 00:26:58,015
Oh, I'm sorry.
275
00:26:58,984 --> 00:27:00,542
I'm almost done.
276
00:27:01,386 --> 00:27:04,787
I hope you didn't take a shit in that,
son of a bitch.
277
00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:08,357
You take a shit in that, they're gonna
get you to clean it out, pal.
278
00:27:21,506 --> 00:27:23,371
That is disgusting, man.
279
00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:29,572
What a fucking Froot Loop.
280
00:27:34,319 --> 00:27:35,911
Want me to play it back?
281
00:27:44,396 --> 00:27:46,660
Hey! What the fuck? What the...
282
00:27:51,803 --> 00:27:53,168
Got him, dude. And there went his hair.
283
00:27:53,271 --> 00:27:56,240
- Turn around. Let's see it.
- That was so much.
284
00:28:04,816 --> 00:28:06,647
Oh, no!
285
00:28:13,224 --> 00:28:14,885
- Yeah.
- Look at me.
286
00:28:15,727 --> 00:28:17,422
- That's a good one.
- We're ready.
287
00:28:20,498 --> 00:28:22,989
I'm Ehren McGhehey,
and this is the Mousetrap.
288
00:28:56,267 --> 00:28:57,461
All right! All right! All right!
289
00:29:01,005 --> 00:29:03,599
Come on! Come on.
290
00:29:04,642 --> 00:29:07,577
Okay, that's enough.
That's enough! That's enough!
291
00:29:07,679 --> 00:29:09,476
I called it! Hey! Time!
292
00:29:17,655 --> 00:29:18,622
Dude.
293
00:29:20,692 --> 00:29:21,681
This isn't gonna work.
294
00:29:22,861 --> 00:29:24,089
It might.
295
00:29:26,664 --> 00:29:28,655
What's gonna happen here?
296
00:29:29,834 --> 00:29:32,735
I don't know,
but it's not what's going to be intended.
297
00:29:33,404 --> 00:29:35,895
Raab's putting a fucking tampon on.
298
00:29:37,408 --> 00:29:39,501
That's like
a Courtney Love-sized maxi pad.
299
00:29:41,212 --> 00:29:42,543
Dudes, this is, like,
worse than a hanging.
300
00:29:44,082 --> 00:29:47,245
I'm Raab himself
and I'm a complete fucking idiot.
301
00:29:54,993 --> 00:29:57,188
- Oh, that's funny.
- It didn't work.
302
00:29:57,295 --> 00:29:58,353
Nope.
303
00:29:58,563 --> 00:30:01,555
- We gotta get another one, man.
- Let's do it again.
304
00:30:02,367 --> 00:30:05,530
Hey, I'm Raab himself,
and this is Bungee Wedgie.
305
00:30:23,555 --> 00:30:25,785
Is that your shitty ass, dude?
306
00:30:26,357 --> 00:30:28,791
Look at the bloody, shitty underpants.
307
00:30:28,893 --> 00:30:30,622
Didn't give me a wedgie. I went forward.
308
00:30:30,728 --> 00:30:32,457
I can't believe it.
309
00:30:33,531 --> 00:30:35,158
That is so funny.
310
00:30:39,604 --> 00:30:42,573
All right, we're here in the valley today
to do our own little riot-control test.
311
00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:43,971
This is George Hruska.
312
00:30:44,075 --> 00:30:46,703
All right, George, what do you do
and what are we doing here today?
313
00:30:47,979 --> 00:30:50,743
Well, I'm Vice President of Operations
with A.L.S. Technologies.
314
00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:52,840
We manufacture
less-lethal ammunition.
315
00:30:52,951 --> 00:30:54,578
We're one of the top
manufacturing companies
316
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,017
in the United States.
317
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:59,647
And we're going to shoot you
with one of our projectiles.
318
00:30:59,891 --> 00:31:01,256
It's called the Pen-Prevent.
319
00:31:01,359 --> 00:31:04,453
It's a 40-gram, tail-stabilized bag.
320
00:31:05,930 --> 00:31:08,865
It'll be traveling
about 250 feet per second.
321
00:31:09,267 --> 00:31:12,828
- Is that lethal?
- It's considered less lethal.
322
00:31:14,672 --> 00:31:17,505
So, this morning
I thought I was taking it in the chest
323
00:31:17,609 --> 00:31:19,372
with the beanbag projectile,
324
00:31:19,477 --> 00:31:21,274
but George and his company
said, "No way."
325
00:31:21,379 --> 00:31:25,577
'Cause if it hits me in the heart,
I'm pretty much done with, so...
326
00:31:25,683 --> 00:31:27,344
We want to take
every single precaution...
327
00:31:27,452 --> 00:31:28,441
Right.
328
00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:30,919
...necessary to help protect
your vital organs.
329
00:31:31,022 --> 00:31:33,354
Where are my intestines?
Are they in that area?
330
00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:35,221
- I think so.
- Awesome.
331
00:31:42,467 --> 00:31:43,798
So are you gonna
take some practice shots?
332
00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:45,028
Pressure.
333
00:31:49,641 --> 00:31:52,235
- Jesus Christ.
- Yeah.
334
00:31:55,346 --> 00:31:57,780
You know, this is nothing
to mess around with.
335
00:31:57,882 --> 00:31:59,577
This is nothing for anybody
336
00:31:59,684 --> 00:32:02,482
to just throw into a 12-gauge shotgun
337
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,517
and, you know, think
that they could take it.
338
00:32:04,622 --> 00:32:06,487
You know,
that's one of the reasons I'm doing this
339
00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:09,617
is because I can do this
in a controlled state.
340
00:32:21,005 --> 00:32:22,438
Safety's off.
341
00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:25,572
Going hot.
342
00:32:51,202 --> 00:32:52,567
That really hurt.
343
00:32:52,670 --> 00:32:54,160
That looked like it hurt.
344
00:32:54,272 --> 00:32:55,933
Oh, fuck, dude.
345
00:32:56,841 --> 00:33:00,470
Did you see the wayI caught that beanbag with my stomach?
346
00:33:00,845 --> 00:33:02,278
That's instinct.
347
00:33:02,580 --> 00:33:04,343
You can't teach that.
348
00:33:13,725 --> 00:33:15,317
It hurts so much.
349
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,191
Like going from a prone position
to standing is...
350
00:33:22,066 --> 00:33:23,033
Ouch.
351
00:33:25,203 --> 00:33:28,263
Hi. I'm Wee Man, and this is a big cone.
352
00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:23,891
Oh, my God, my brakes!
353
00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:25,859
I can't...
354
00:34:25,963 --> 00:34:27,260
My brakes!
355
00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:29,433
My brakes!
356
00:34:29,634 --> 00:34:30,965
My brakes!
357
00:34:32,136 --> 00:34:34,331
Stop me! Stop me!
358
00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:38,102
Stop me!
359
00:34:41,712 --> 00:34:43,111
- You all right?
- That was so fast!
360
00:34:43,214 --> 00:34:44,579
- You all right?
- Yeah.
361
00:34:44,682 --> 00:34:48,083
- You have... Did your brakes go out?
- Yeah. The whole thing doesn't work.
362
00:34:48,186 --> 00:34:49,278
Really?
363
00:34:49,387 --> 00:34:51,548
Will you push me to the top?
I wanna do it again.
364
00:35:04,502 --> 00:35:07,164
I could sure go for a Miller High Life.
365
00:35:16,581 --> 00:35:18,776
Oh, you're in so much trouble.
366
00:35:29,594 --> 00:35:30,686
Kick her ass!
367
00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:46,799
I'm about to get
the shit kicked out of me by a girl.
368
00:36:04,762 --> 00:36:06,662
Dude, I told you to keep up the left!
369
00:36:11,736 --> 00:36:13,465
Hail to the queen!
370
00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:36,083
- That's the winner.
- That's it.
371
00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:37,718
And the winner,
372
00:36:38,129 --> 00:36:39,562
and still champion...
373
00:36:39,664 --> 00:36:41,529
Now pronounce her name.
374
00:36:43,734 --> 00:36:45,065
Look at his bloody mouthpiece.
375
00:36:45,169 --> 00:36:48,627
Oh, God, my jaw is, like,
two inches to the left.
376
00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:53,236
I seriously felt all right for a little bit,until she punched me in the nose.
377
00:36:53,344 --> 00:36:55,539
I knew she was fighting dirty.
378
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:04,184
Tropical Pole-Vaulting.
379
00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:09,856
Oh, Jesus!
380
00:37:20,304 --> 00:37:21,601
Go grab the dead kitty.
381
00:37:21,706 --> 00:37:24,504
Dude, I've fucking
been in there before, dude. It sucks.
382
00:38:07,785 --> 00:38:08,911
Oh, God!
383
00:40:14,145 --> 00:40:16,204
Since we no longer
have to bleep cuss words,
384
00:40:16,313 --> 00:40:18,713
I promise
I will get my mom to say "fuck"
385
00:40:18,816 --> 00:40:20,784
by the end of this movie.
386
00:40:24,121 --> 00:40:25,383
Hello. I'm Johnny Knoxville,
387
00:40:25,489 --> 00:40:27,582
and we're about to test
my rocket skates.
388
00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:32,084
Go!
389
00:40:43,641 --> 00:40:45,336
All right, this is rocket skates,
390
00:40:46,076 --> 00:40:47,236
take two.
391
00:40:56,821 --> 00:40:59,346
This one's gonna be a little more
powerful than the last one, so...
392
00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:03,484
- Why, these are different bottle rockets?
- No, there's just more of them.
393
00:41:28,252 --> 00:41:30,186
- Oh, fuck!
- What's wrong?
394
00:41:30,521 --> 00:41:33,922
I fell and busted my ass,
that's what's fucking wrong.
395
00:41:36,093 --> 00:41:37,390
That's it.
396
00:41:38,262 --> 00:41:40,628
No more rocket skates.
397
00:42:41,058 --> 00:42:42,889
God, this party sucks!
398
00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:50,629
Hey, my man. Wasabi, lots.
399
00:42:50,968 --> 00:42:52,128
Wasabi.
400
00:42:53,337 --> 00:42:55,134
Yeah.
401
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:58,800
So today, I'm gonna treat myself
to some wasabi snooters.
402
00:43:07,084 --> 00:43:09,575
Are you any good at snorting stuff?
403
00:43:10,421 --> 00:43:11,479
Pretty good.
404
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,784
God, chopsticks are so stupid.
405
00:43:20,097 --> 00:43:22,793
That looks like a pretty good line, huh?
406
00:43:31,308 --> 00:43:32,400
More.
407
00:43:34,411 --> 00:43:36,140
Do another snooter.
408
00:43:45,289 --> 00:43:47,018
I need a pick-me-up.
409
00:44:06,677 --> 00:44:09,009
Dude, on the plate. On the plate.
410
00:44:09,613 --> 00:44:12,707
- Oh, God, dude.
- You're an animal.
411
00:44:12,816 --> 00:44:14,044
Oh, man.
412
00:44:19,089 --> 00:44:20,579
That's a bump.
413
00:44:20,958 --> 00:44:22,289
Look at that special sauce.
414
00:44:26,964 --> 00:44:28,898
- Swallow it.
- Swallow it.
415
00:44:47,751 --> 00:44:48,945
Get him!
416
00:44:51,755 --> 00:44:53,484
Get back here!
417
00:44:54,091 --> 00:44:56,059
I said, "Get back here!"
418
00:44:58,162 --> 00:44:59,493
Get...
419
00:45:41,338 --> 00:45:42,464
This is bullshit, man!
420
00:46:18,709 --> 00:46:19,767
Phil?
421
00:46:20,210 --> 00:46:21,268
Phil?
422
00:46:22,212 --> 00:46:23,270
Phil?
423
00:46:24,281 --> 00:46:25,578
Hey, Phil!
424
00:46:31,522 --> 00:46:32,853
Oh, my God.
425
00:46:35,092 --> 00:46:38,255
- Is this thing real?
- What thing?
426
00:46:38,695 --> 00:46:40,663
This alligator!
427
00:46:41,064 --> 00:46:42,122
What?
428
00:46:42,666 --> 00:46:45,362
Look, look, look!
Look around the corner.
429
00:46:46,937 --> 00:46:48,370
What is that?
430
00:46:49,039 --> 00:46:51,769
Where have you been?
Don't you even look?
431
00:46:55,145 --> 00:46:57,010
Oh, my God! It's moving.
432
00:46:57,114 --> 00:46:58,445
Oh, Phil!
433
00:46:58,949 --> 00:47:01,008
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
434
00:47:01,985 --> 00:47:04,078
- I don't know what to do now.
- Aren't you scared to death?
435
00:47:07,558 --> 00:47:10,356
It's so gross that it's even on the floor.
436
00:47:11,795 --> 00:47:14,764
I'm going out! I'm leaving!
Where's my keys?
437
00:47:14,865 --> 00:47:17,834
That is the scariest fucking thing
I ever saw in my whole life!
438
00:47:17,935 --> 00:47:20,233
- I'm leaving.
- Don't leave. Where the hell you going?
439
00:47:20,337 --> 00:47:21,827
I'm leaving. I swear to God!
440
00:47:21,939 --> 00:47:23,372
Phil, seriously, please.
441
00:47:23,473 --> 00:47:25,304
Help! Help me get this thing out of here!
442
00:47:25,409 --> 00:47:27,172
I'm scared to death!
443
00:47:30,347 --> 00:47:31,541
Oh, God!
444
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:37,714
Oh, man.
445
00:47:38,388 --> 00:47:39,753
No! No!
446
00:47:39,857 --> 00:47:41,381
No, I'm not letting in the...
447
00:47:41,525 --> 00:47:43,390
No, no! God, where is it?
448
00:47:43,493 --> 00:47:45,927
- Oh, please! You don't have it, do you?
- No, we don't have it.
449
00:47:46,029 --> 00:47:47,496
It's not there?
450
00:47:47,598 --> 00:47:49,532
Like, seriously, is that real?
451
00:47:49,633 --> 00:47:51,328
I'm serious. Is it real?
452
00:47:51,635 --> 00:47:52,602
Is it real?
453
00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:54,295
- Is it real?
- Yes.
454
00:47:54,838 --> 00:47:57,432
I'm serious, get everybody out!
455
00:48:05,282 --> 00:48:08,183
Dude, dude. Wait. Stop! Chill, dude.
456
00:48:09,219 --> 00:48:11,483
Whiz kid kicked your ass, dude.
457
00:48:12,589 --> 00:48:15,717
- I didn't even get you.
- You got beat up by Wee Man.
458
00:48:15,826 --> 00:48:17,453
- Dude.
- Let me see.
459
00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:19,286
He didn't even get you.
460
00:48:19,396 --> 00:48:21,762
- Where? I didn't even...
- He didn't even get you.
461
00:48:23,834 --> 00:48:26,234
Let me see the back of your head.
462
00:48:26,837 --> 00:48:28,862
- Oh, dude.
- It'll be all right.
463
00:48:30,941 --> 00:48:33,068
I'm here with Eric Koston
and Clyde Singleton,
464
00:48:34,378 --> 00:48:38,246
and today I'm gonna 50-50 this rail,
and... Or try to.
465
00:48:38,415 --> 00:48:40,474
- So, this thing's long.
- Yeah, thanks.
466
00:48:40,584 --> 00:48:42,518
Thanks for reminding me.
467
00:48:43,453 --> 00:48:44,784
You got it.
468
00:48:49,159 --> 00:48:51,457
I got it. I got this.
469
00:48:52,529 --> 00:48:54,258
- Dude, is he gonna go?
- Yeah.
470
00:48:54,364 --> 00:48:57,197
Is he gonna go?
He's gonna go somewhere.
471
00:48:57,601 --> 00:48:58,727
He's going.
472
00:48:58,835 --> 00:49:00,427
He's going, yeah.
473
00:49:00,537 --> 00:49:03,973
My impression of Johnny Knoxville.
Something like this.
474
00:49:05,876 --> 00:49:07,366
"Oh, my face!"
475
00:49:08,111 --> 00:49:11,376
I'm Johnny Knoxville
and I'm gonna grind this rail.
476
00:49:14,184 --> 00:49:15,674
Ready, set, go!
477
00:49:23,327 --> 00:49:26,023
Yeah! Yeah!
478
00:49:26,496 --> 00:49:27,588
Yeah!
479
00:49:27,864 --> 00:49:29,297
He made it all the way down.
480
00:49:29,399 --> 00:49:30,866
I can't believe he got that far.
481
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:33,630
- You made it to the fucking bottom!- I can't believe he got that far.
482
00:49:33,737 --> 00:49:35,534
I can't believe... I can't...
483
00:49:58,362 --> 00:49:59,351
This is the Paper Cuts.
484
00:49:59,463 --> 00:50:01,897
I'm getting paper cuts
between the webbings of my fingers
485
00:50:01,999 --> 00:50:03,330
and the webbings of my toes.
486
00:50:03,433 --> 00:50:04,923
- Hold it still.
- There's no good way to do it.
487
00:50:05,035 --> 00:50:08,766
Yeah, I know. So just deal with it.
Take a... Take a breath.
488
00:50:17,147 --> 00:50:18,876
Oh, you can feel when it goes in.
489
00:50:18,982 --> 00:50:21,849
Oh, give me... This one works good,
give me the next one.
490
00:50:21,952 --> 00:50:23,385
Do it. Do it.
491
00:50:28,625 --> 00:50:32,061
- Oh, yeah, opened up with a good one.
- Did you hear that?
492
00:50:32,429 --> 00:50:34,829
- Oh, that was my flesh!
- Oh, shit.
493
00:50:34,931 --> 00:50:37,661
If I do your hand,
you'll forget about the pain in your foot.
494
00:50:37,768 --> 00:50:39,258
That's a good point.
495
00:50:39,369 --> 00:50:40,666
Take a deep breath.
496
00:50:48,578 --> 00:50:51,069
Lance is trying... Are you gonna puke?
497
00:50:51,181 --> 00:50:52,239
Don't, Lance,
there's so many places for you to...
498
00:50:52,349 --> 00:50:54,544
- Watch Lance pass out.
- Lance is gonna puke!
499
00:50:54,651 --> 00:50:56,949
From what,
the pepperoni or the paper cuts?
500
00:50:57,054 --> 00:50:58,078
Both?
501
00:50:58,188 --> 00:50:59,678
The pepperoni.
502
00:51:01,158 --> 00:51:03,126
It's good! With pig entrails.
503
00:51:12,035 --> 00:51:13,764
- Is he okay?
- I don't know.
504
00:51:13,870 --> 00:51:15,565
- Wait, is he all right?
- Lance, are you all right?
505
00:51:15,672 --> 00:51:17,435
- Medic!
- Hey, don't knock over the beer.
506
00:51:17,541 --> 00:51:19,771
- Dude, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
507
00:51:20,677 --> 00:51:23,168
- And get him in a cold room.
- This is the greatest bit ever.
508
00:51:24,014 --> 00:51:26,983
Steve-O, if you want to do some more,
do it. I'm done.
509
00:51:28,185 --> 00:51:29,209
Is everybody ready?
510
00:51:29,319 --> 00:51:30,343
Yeah.
511
00:51:30,454 --> 00:51:31,512
See the look on his face?
512
00:51:34,558 --> 00:51:35,957
- Do one more.
- Do it again.
513
00:51:36,059 --> 00:51:37,287
That sucked.
514
00:51:39,062 --> 00:51:43,055
God, am I glad I came down
to see what was going on in this room.
515
00:51:56,713 --> 00:51:58,044
Wait a minute.
516
00:51:58,148 --> 00:52:00,844
I know what my fortune is. It's partying.
517
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:25,803
This is Sweaty Fat Fucks.
518
00:54:00,770 --> 00:54:03,295
Oh, honey, it's been a while.
519
00:54:03,406 --> 00:54:05,499
- It's a little too much.
- No, I...
520
00:54:10,313 --> 00:54:12,281
Irving, you think you can do it?
521
00:54:12,382 --> 00:54:14,646
- Do you want a spot?
- No, I got it. No, I got it.
522
00:54:14,751 --> 00:54:16,218
- You got it?
- Yeah, yeah.
523
00:54:16,319 --> 00:54:19,379
- lf you need a spot, just give me a call.
- Okay.
524
00:54:30,233 --> 00:54:32,701
What's the quickest
you ever knocked anyone out?
525
00:54:33,903 --> 00:54:35,234
I hold the California state record.
526
00:54:35,338 --> 00:54:37,636
It's like 18 seconds,
including the 10 count.
527
00:54:58,495 --> 00:55:00,554
I think you're gonna break that today.
528
00:55:01,164 --> 00:55:03,655
- I'm Johnny Knoxville.
- And I'm Butterbean.
529
00:55:03,767 --> 00:55:05,826
Today we're gonna do a little boxing.
530
00:55:21,851 --> 00:55:24,684
All right, you guys.
Touch gloves and come out fighting.
531
00:55:39,569 --> 00:55:41,696
- Get up!
- Come on, Butter...
532
00:55:41,805 --> 00:55:43,329
One more time.
533
00:55:44,174 --> 00:55:46,039
This is the last time
you're kicking my ass.
534
00:55:46,142 --> 00:55:47,268
One more time.
535
00:55:47,377 --> 00:55:49,174
More pain. That's it.
536
00:55:52,048 --> 00:55:53,675
You haven't even...
Hit me once, at least.
537
00:55:53,783 --> 00:55:55,250
There you go.
538
00:55:57,354 --> 00:55:58,321
That's it.
539
00:56:01,758 --> 00:56:02,850
Is there a problem?
540
00:56:07,297 --> 00:56:08,559
He's out.
541
00:56:18,775 --> 00:56:20,470
Is Butterbean okay?
542
00:56:25,749 --> 00:56:27,182
Look at this.
543
00:56:30,954 --> 00:56:34,446
And by knockout in the first round,
new champion, Butterbean!
544
00:56:34,557 --> 00:56:36,024
Yeah!
545
00:56:36,726 --> 00:56:40,127
- Where we going, Knoxville?
- The hospital.
546
00:56:41,131 --> 00:56:43,258
- What the hell are we doing that for?
- I don't know.
547
00:56:43,366 --> 00:56:45,197
Apparently I have
a big gash in my head,
548
00:56:45,301 --> 00:56:47,496
and I think I'm a little concussed.
549
00:56:48,605 --> 00:56:50,937
- Are you giving me a shot?
- Yeah.
550
00:56:52,308 --> 00:56:53,707
Are you okay?
551
00:56:53,810 --> 00:56:56,278
- We got one more to go, buddy.
- Yes, sir.
552
00:56:56,379 --> 00:56:58,870
- Then you're a free man.
- Thank you.
553
00:56:59,048 --> 00:57:02,711
You're gonna be not feeling great
the next 24 hours.
554
00:57:03,086 --> 00:57:04,451
- Thank you, Dr. Kipper.
- Okay.
555
00:57:04,554 --> 00:57:06,021
You'll probably see me
in two to three days.
556
00:57:06,122 --> 00:57:07,089
See you in a couple of days.
557
00:57:14,597 --> 00:57:16,428
Hey! Hey! Hey!
558
00:57:19,335 --> 00:57:21,303
God damn it! What are you doing?
559
00:57:21,404 --> 00:57:22,996
Hey! Get off, man!
560
00:57:23,106 --> 00:57:25,006
- What's going on here?
- Get off!
561
00:57:25,108 --> 00:57:26,302
Get off!
562
00:57:39,088 --> 00:57:40,146
We're in Okinawa
563
00:57:40,256 --> 00:57:42,224
and we're about to go swim
with some whale sharks.
564
00:57:42,325 --> 00:57:46,352
But first, we need to go rub one out.
565
00:57:51,134 --> 00:57:54,763
Well, I made the mistakeof showing them
566
00:57:54,871 --> 00:57:57,499
what sea cucumbers dowhen they're threatened.
567
00:57:57,607 --> 00:58:00,337
And that is, you know,
as soon as something touches them,
568
00:58:01,611 --> 00:58:04,705
these white threads
come out of the end of it,
569
00:58:05,081 --> 00:58:09,313
and Steve-O and Christhought it was a great idea.
570
00:58:09,419 --> 00:58:11,319
So, they're out there trying to...
571
00:58:11,421 --> 00:58:12,911
- Masturbate?- Masturbate. Yeah.
572
00:58:13,022 --> 00:58:15,616
So, anyway, I apologize.
573
00:58:20,730 --> 00:58:22,027
This is the Whale Shark Gummer.
574
00:58:24,767 --> 00:58:29,067
With a simple shave of the razor,
Steve-O easily disguises himself
575
00:58:29,239 --> 00:58:33,232
to fool the whale sharks
into thinking he's a harmless young boy.
576
00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:37,745
I am pretty nervous about my wiener
around that whale shark. I really am.
577
00:58:37,847 --> 00:58:39,314
Now, the best way
to think of the whale sharks
578
00:58:39,415 --> 00:58:41,679
is they're like big puppy dogs.
579
00:58:42,085 --> 00:58:43,950
Sometimes puppies bite.
580
00:58:44,220 --> 00:58:45,653
Yeah, but they have little teeth.
581
00:58:45,755 --> 00:58:46,915
- Puppies, they have little teeth.
- Little teeth.
582
00:58:47,023 --> 00:58:49,685
- You're gonna get a gummer.
- All right.
583
00:58:49,792 --> 00:58:51,919
So, it's kind of like
being with a gal with no teeth.
584
00:58:52,028 --> 00:58:53,757
- Kind of, yes.
- Yeah.
585
00:58:54,063 --> 00:58:57,396
So right below in these waters,30-foot whale sharks
586
00:58:57,500 --> 00:58:58,467
are waiting to eat
587
00:58:58,935 --> 00:59:00,334
these freaking shrimpout of our crotches.
588
00:59:00,436 --> 00:59:01,596
Okay.
589
00:59:08,344 --> 00:59:10,642
Oh, they're kind of... They pinch.
590
00:59:10,780 --> 00:59:12,338
Are these alive?
591
00:59:14,784 --> 00:59:17,412
- They don't feel good on the way...
- You're part of this, man.
592
00:59:19,055 --> 00:59:20,818
Look at this shrimp.
593
00:59:26,362 --> 00:59:28,421
I guess I don't really have
any last words.
594
00:59:29,232 --> 00:59:30,494
I'm just gonna kill myself
once I lose my wiener.
595
01:00:21,985 --> 01:00:24,419
My penis is really small now.
596
01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:29,114
I can't really look cool right now.
597
01:00:36,232 --> 01:00:39,360
Hi. I'm Johnny Knoxville.
This is the Tidal Wave.
598
01:00:50,580 --> 01:00:52,411
- How'd it look?
- It looked good.
599
01:00:57,086 --> 01:00:59,281
You just got drenched.
600
01:01:04,227 --> 01:01:06,559
I don't even, like, pick a tattoo, like,
601
01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:10,429
unless I'm pretty sure that people
are gonna laugh every time they see it.
602
01:01:11,734 --> 01:01:12,701
Oh, my God, dude.
603
01:01:22,145 --> 01:01:26,138
Like, how do you perform
the fucking world's dumbest tattoo?
604
01:01:27,850 --> 01:01:31,251
Fuck, man.
At least I don't have to look at it, right?
605
01:01:35,992 --> 01:01:39,985
My name is Henry Rollins
and this is Off-Road Tattoo.
606
01:01:45,735 --> 01:01:46,793
Yeah!
607
01:02:01,184 --> 01:02:03,584
This was designed to fuck you up!
608
01:02:15,031 --> 01:02:16,965
You Christian motherfucker!
609
01:02:31,380 --> 01:02:33,678
It's a total smiley face, dude.
610
01:03:00,209 --> 01:03:02,905
I just fully got a haircut
just, like, a week ago.
611
01:03:03,012 --> 01:03:04,570
You're about to get many more.
612
01:03:14,157 --> 01:03:16,591
- Yeah, me, too.
- I am not doing it.
613
01:03:19,662 --> 01:03:21,129
Look at Ehren.
614
01:03:24,934 --> 01:03:26,162
Oh, shit!
615
01:03:28,371 --> 01:03:31,101
So, we're finding it
a little bit chilly in Japan.
616
01:03:31,207 --> 01:03:34,438
We're gonna warm ourselves up
with some fireworks.
617
01:03:38,414 --> 01:03:39,847
Let's go, dude.
618
01:03:39,949 --> 01:03:41,974
Roll back there, just a bit.
619
01:03:42,084 --> 01:03:44,917
Oh, no! This is a bad angle. Switch.
620
01:03:45,254 --> 01:03:46,983
Oh, no, no, no.
621
01:03:48,825 --> 01:03:50,156
Let's see.
622
01:03:59,135 --> 01:04:02,229
Like, an ember fell
right in my corn hole, dude.
623
01:04:03,773 --> 01:04:06,071
I actually burned my butt hole.
624
01:04:12,515 --> 01:04:15,541
How hard is it to tie a bottle rocket
to a cock?
625
01:04:18,487 --> 01:04:20,546
God, you're compressing it.
626
01:04:49,485 --> 01:04:52,386
You may think
this next stunt is impossible.
627
01:04:53,256 --> 01:04:55,417
You gotta squat a little, Pontius.
628
01:04:57,326 --> 01:04:59,487
Every time!
629
01:04:59,595 --> 01:05:03,292
- Is Chris' dick shorter or...
- Yeah, it's a little shorter.
630
01:05:09,005 --> 01:05:10,734
Keep it in! Hold it!
631
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:12,468
Stick...
632
01:05:16,779 --> 01:05:19,145
It almost hit Loomis in the face.
633
01:05:29,759 --> 01:05:32,284
God damn, this is the BMX Tug-of-War.
634
01:05:34,964 --> 01:05:36,090
Fuck!
635
01:05:43,306 --> 01:05:45,069
What a dumb-ass idea.
636
01:05:49,545 --> 01:05:51,775
I'm surrounded by cacti.
637
01:05:52,682 --> 01:05:54,616
- For fuck's sake.
- Dude, it's a cactus.
638
01:05:54,717 --> 01:05:57,015
- It's cacti!
- It's cactus.
639
01:05:57,453 --> 01:05:59,284
Whatever it is, it hurts.
640
01:06:18,007 --> 01:06:19,975
You wanna get up and cross?
641
01:06:31,187 --> 01:06:33,382
This is the Yellow Snow Cone.
642
01:06:34,724 --> 01:06:37,022
Pack it in there nice and tight.
643
01:06:46,202 --> 01:06:47,965
Little cold out here.
It might take a second.
644
01:06:48,070 --> 01:06:49,628
Oh! There we go.
645
01:06:54,510 --> 01:06:56,740
- Oh, yeah.
- Dude.
646
01:07:02,151 --> 01:07:04,415
I'm not even worried about the pee,
I'm just worried about it...
647
01:07:04,620 --> 01:07:06,144
Come on,
you're missing the cone, dude!
648
01:07:06,255 --> 01:07:08,348
- I'm sorry.
- You're missing the cone!
649
01:07:12,094 --> 01:07:13,721
You better eat that whole thing, too.
650
01:07:13,829 --> 01:07:15,456
You gotta go eat that spot, too.
651
01:07:15,564 --> 01:07:17,759
The male bonding...
652
01:07:18,300 --> 01:07:20,029
Enjoy the snow cone.
653
01:07:21,303 --> 01:07:23,396
Oh, you just wasted a whole bunch!
654
01:07:23,839 --> 01:07:25,704
Just get that whole mouthful,
right there.
655
01:07:25,808 --> 01:07:26,775
Keep going.
656
01:07:28,711 --> 01:07:30,144
- Keep going!
- Eat it!
657
01:07:30,246 --> 01:07:31,213
- Come on, it's your pee.
- Dude, swallow it!
658
01:07:31,347 --> 01:07:34,145
- Oh, come on.
- Hey, I'm trying. It's so cold.
659
01:07:34,250 --> 01:07:36,115
Swallow it! Swallow it!
660
01:07:36,752 --> 01:07:37,980
Oh, God.
661
01:07:38,187 --> 01:07:39,381
Eat it! Eat it!
662
01:07:39,488 --> 01:07:40,955
Swallow it, man! Don't... No, no.
663
01:07:41,057 --> 01:07:42,183
- Oh, no.
- Oh, no puking.
664
01:07:42,291 --> 01:07:44,759
- I'm doing it!
- Don't look at it.
665
01:07:50,699 --> 01:07:52,064
Dude, it's dripping out of the bottom.
666
01:07:52,168 --> 01:07:54,659
Will you catch that,
what's dripping out the bottom?
667
01:08:00,576 --> 01:08:02,168
Oh, my God!
668
01:08:02,278 --> 01:08:04,143
Oh, my God!
669
01:08:15,591 --> 01:08:16,853
- Eat it. Eat it.
- This...
670
01:08:16,959 --> 01:08:18,620
- You said that you would.
- Eat it.
671
01:08:18,727 --> 01:08:20,922
...is the chocolate snow cone.
672
01:08:28,771 --> 01:08:31,399
- It stinks.
- That sucked.
673
01:08:35,010 --> 01:08:36,409
Kick yourself in the head, Wee Man.
674
01:08:36,512 --> 01:08:38,605
This guy.
He'll do anything just to look better.
675
01:09:33,602 --> 01:09:36,901
- No, get away.
- Now what is?
676
01:09:37,139 --> 01:09:39,232
Are you starting to lose your mind
on that shit?
677
01:09:39,341 --> 01:09:40,865
Bam, stop it!
678
01:09:40,976 --> 01:09:43,706
Now, you're getting crazy on this shit.
679
01:09:45,447 --> 01:09:46,573
Ape!
680
01:09:47,516 --> 01:09:49,507
He's starting to lose it!
681
01:09:50,486 --> 01:09:52,317
Jesus Christ!
682
01:09:54,523 --> 01:09:56,491
Ape, I need toilet paper!
683
01:09:58,794 --> 01:10:00,193
Okay, this is called
the Golf Course Airhorn.
684
01:10:00,295 --> 01:10:01,421
When people tee off,
685
01:10:01,530 --> 01:10:04,021
when they're coming down
with their swing,
686
01:10:04,132 --> 01:10:05,861
we're gonna blow these airhorns.
687
01:10:23,285 --> 01:10:25,583
- Here she goes again.
- No. Is it another one?
688
01:10:27,122 --> 01:10:29,420
She still hit it really good.
689
01:10:51,380 --> 01:10:52,779
Holy shit.
690
01:10:56,551 --> 01:10:58,542
What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?
691
01:10:58,654 --> 01:11:01,350
Here, you've lost your club. Sorry.
692
01:11:01,657 --> 01:11:04,251
Didn't I tell you I was gonna come
over here and kick your ass for that?
693
01:11:04,393 --> 01:11:06,793
What? I'm sorry. I got bursitis.
694
01:11:06,895 --> 01:11:08,089
- You got bursitis?
- Yeah.
695
01:11:08,196 --> 01:11:09,857
So, that means
you gotta play with a horn?
696
01:11:09,965 --> 01:11:12,433
- It helps.
- I'll give you something to play with, pal.
697
01:11:12,534 --> 01:11:14,729
Sorry. It won't happen again.
698
01:11:31,086 --> 01:11:32,849
- Oh, fuck!
- Shit. He's teeing off!
699
01:11:32,954 --> 01:11:35,149
- Get down! Get down!
- Oh, shit!
700
01:11:40,796 --> 01:11:42,593
Get back. Get down, get down.
701
01:11:42,698 --> 01:11:44,563
- Watch this! Wait. Wait.
- Get down, Dimitry.
702
01:12:00,182 --> 01:12:02,275
Oh, these things are scary.
703
01:12:05,487 --> 01:12:07,387
- I'm Bam Margera.
- I'm Johnny Knoxville.
704
01:12:08,590 --> 01:12:10,490
And we're gonna be burglars today.
705
01:12:19,401 --> 01:12:20,595
Oh, God!
706
01:12:21,269 --> 01:12:22,702
Fuck! Get the diamonds!
707
01:12:22,804 --> 01:12:25,238
Dude, I told you
not to fall off the damn beam.
708
01:12:25,340 --> 01:12:26,705
Turn around! Turn around!
709
01:12:27,042 --> 01:12:28,100
Fuck!
710
01:12:32,314 --> 01:12:33,781
Oh, holy fuck!
711
01:12:36,084 --> 01:12:37,210
- Idiot!
- What the fuck is that?
712
01:12:40,388 --> 01:12:41,377
Go!
713
01:12:41,923 --> 01:12:43,515
Holy fuck!
714
01:12:48,263 --> 01:12:49,321
You all right?
715
01:12:49,431 --> 01:12:51,899
- You okay?
- I'm good. I'm good.
716
01:12:52,768 --> 01:12:55,134
- What'd you think happened right there?
- It's embarrassing.
717
01:12:55,237 --> 01:12:58,832
I was barely halfway through the ceiling,
and you were already out the door.
718
01:12:59,908 --> 01:13:01,808
You were really sprinting.
719
01:13:02,711 --> 01:13:04,770
Really, guys in masks, I'm out.
720
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:07,348
I don't play. I don't play.
721
01:13:11,686 --> 01:13:14,086
Is there any actual, like, real reason
722
01:13:14,189 --> 01:13:16,555
why anyone would shove
something up their ass like this?
723
01:13:16,658 --> 01:13:18,888
- No.
- I'm claiming predictions for this event.
724
01:13:18,994 --> 01:13:20,985
- Where's Ryan?
- Did you make them?
725
01:13:21,096 --> 01:13:22,859
Number one, it's not getting in there.
726
01:13:22,964 --> 01:13:25,524
Number two, even if it does,
it's not staying in there.
727
01:13:25,634 --> 01:13:27,329
Definitely no sitting down happening.
728
01:13:27,435 --> 01:13:31,098
Number three, there's no way
they're gonna believe that this is true.
729
01:13:31,206 --> 01:13:33,174
So, you're saying it's...
730
01:13:33,441 --> 01:13:37,537
I'm saying there's nothing I want more
than for this to happen, but...
731
01:13:37,646 --> 01:13:40,206
- You don't want it to happen that much.
- No, I really do.
732
01:13:40,315 --> 01:13:42,715
This is our original talent
for this piece, by the way.
733
01:13:42,818 --> 01:13:45,378
- Yeah. I think that...
- It's one of the first things I think
734
01:13:45,487 --> 01:13:46,715
I've ever seen you duck out on.
735
01:13:46,822 --> 01:13:49,552
Oh, man, I am so glad
I turned this idea down.
736
01:13:49,658 --> 01:13:51,216
I'm so glad.
737
01:13:54,095 --> 01:13:56,825
I'll probably use all of this
before the end of the segment.
738
01:13:59,768 --> 01:14:01,429
What else we got?
739
01:14:01,536 --> 01:14:03,766
A condom. Thank you.
740
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:07,832
And a little toy car.
741
01:14:08,210 --> 01:14:10,371
Blue, it's my favorite color.
742
01:14:12,380 --> 01:14:14,439
Let me see that. Dangle it.
743
01:14:16,651 --> 01:14:18,676
Look at the reservoir tip.
744
01:14:19,821 --> 01:14:22,847
- Now I'm lubing up...
- I can't see the car, Ryan.
745
01:14:22,991 --> 01:14:26,825
...the little toy car,
because I'm going to put it in my butt.
746
01:14:31,833 --> 01:14:33,323
Be comfortable.
747
01:14:34,436 --> 01:14:38,736
Hey, Ed's here for rescuing, dude.
You're here for making it a problem.
748
01:14:39,374 --> 01:14:40,602
All right, you're gonna watch this?
749
01:14:40,709 --> 01:14:42,438
- You're making me uncomfortable.
- Sorry.
750
01:14:42,544 --> 01:14:44,409
I gotta get another job.
751
01:14:44,512 --> 01:14:47,504
- Lube up your corn hole.
- I am. I'm spackling.
752
01:14:48,350 --> 01:14:49,749
"Spackling."
753
01:14:49,851 --> 01:14:52,513
- Heart rate's going up for sure!
- Oh, dude, it hurts.
754
01:14:52,621 --> 01:14:54,054
Your adrenaline's flowing, isn't it?
755
01:14:54,155 --> 01:14:56,783
There's no getting around it,
it fucking hurts like hell.
756
01:14:56,892 --> 01:14:58,325
Come on in, Manny.
757
01:14:58,426 --> 01:14:59,893
You're just in time, Manny.
758
01:14:59,995 --> 01:15:02,657
Oh, Manny. Tell me I'm a man.
759
01:15:04,566 --> 01:15:07,535
- Hey, man, he's got it...
- It feels so goddamn gross.
760
01:15:08,036 --> 01:15:09,901
This is totally insane.
761
01:15:10,605 --> 01:15:12,573
- I thinks it's breathing.
- Wheels in?
762
01:15:12,674 --> 01:15:13,641
It's in, dude.
763
01:15:13,775 --> 01:15:15,037
- It's in?
- Yeah.
764
01:15:15,143 --> 01:15:16,906
- Let's see.
- Oh, fuck!
765
01:15:17,145 --> 01:15:19,545
I feel like I have to shit my ass.
766
01:15:19,648 --> 01:15:21,616
Is there anything in tap?
767
01:15:23,618 --> 01:15:26,519
No, this don't happen in nature, dude.
This is insane.
768
01:15:26,621 --> 01:15:28,816
"This doesn't happen in nature."
769
01:15:33,161 --> 01:15:37,222
You said that you didn't want to do it
because your dad would disown you?
770
01:15:37,332 --> 01:15:38,799
Well, I mean, it wasn't that.
771
01:15:38,900 --> 01:15:41,334
You drank wine
off of a dude's ass crack.
772
01:15:41,436 --> 01:15:45,372
My dad never saw that.
I never told him that, you know.
773
01:15:45,740 --> 01:15:47,765
I was gonna do this
and I was like, "Dad..."
774
01:15:47,876 --> 01:15:51,141
I was like,
"Dad, we're going hard these days,
775
01:15:51,246 --> 01:15:53,476
"and there's some ideas
floating around."
776
01:15:53,581 --> 01:15:55,674
I just mentioned the car in the butt.
777
01:15:55,784 --> 01:15:59,743
My dad, like... The only time in my life
I ever heard my dad, like...
778
01:15:59,854 --> 01:16:01,287
You know,
it's like when your parents say,
779
01:16:01,389 --> 01:16:04,586
"I'm not mad at you,
I'm just disappointed," you know.
780
01:16:04,693 --> 01:16:07,355
Like, that hurts so much more,
you know?
781
01:16:07,929 --> 01:16:09,294
Fucking rad.
782
01:16:10,832 --> 01:16:11,992
Look at him walk.
783
01:16:12,100 --> 01:16:13,965
Dunn's gonna win, dude.
784
01:16:14,436 --> 01:16:15,926
I'm not too excited about this skit.
785
01:16:16,037 --> 01:16:19,336
It's not my favorite I've ever done,
because there's a toy car in my butt.
786
01:16:19,441 --> 01:16:21,534
But this is the Butt X-ray.
787
01:16:27,949 --> 01:16:29,883
I think I need an x-ray.
788
01:16:30,085 --> 01:16:31,643
- Antoine?
- Yes?
789
01:16:33,021 --> 01:16:35,114
- How you doing?
- Pretty good.
790
01:16:36,458 --> 01:16:38,722
- I'm Ryan, and this is...
- What can I do for you?
791
01:16:38,827 --> 01:16:40,988
I was partying last night
with some frat guys.
792
01:16:41,096 --> 01:16:42,825
I passed out. I must've fallen down
and broken something,
793
01:16:44,099 --> 01:16:46,158
'cause I haven't been
able to walk right since.
794
01:16:46,267 --> 01:16:47,859
We're gonna take x-ray now, to be sure.
795
01:16:47,969 --> 01:16:48,936
Okay.
796
01:16:49,504 --> 01:16:51,699
- Take a...
- Oh, okay.
797
01:16:54,075 --> 01:16:55,235
This is comfy.
798
01:16:55,343 --> 01:16:57,504
Hold your breath. Don't move.
799
01:17:37,218 --> 01:17:39,880
- What is that?
- I have no idea.
800
01:17:40,121 --> 01:17:43,420
That's not part of you.
That's something extra.
801
01:17:43,625 --> 01:17:45,718
I would've known if I ate that.
802
01:17:45,827 --> 01:17:48,523
No. You wouldn't be able
to swallow that.
803
01:17:48,863 --> 01:17:50,387
That is a car toy.
804
01:17:50,498 --> 01:17:54,195
- Well, how did a car toy get there?
- Maybe you stuck it up your ass.
805
01:17:54,302 --> 01:17:56,566
I didn't stick anything up my ass.
806
01:17:56,671 --> 01:18:01,074
- Have you ever seen anything like that?
- No, I never seen that in there.
807
01:18:01,443 --> 01:18:05,846
I've seen a toy car all over,
but never in somebody's rectum.
808
01:18:06,314 --> 01:18:08,839
- You can't get it out? You don't have...
- No.
809
01:18:08,950 --> 01:18:12,943
I'm a physician,
but I practice this, x-ray, only.
810
01:18:13,688 --> 01:18:16,748
You think maybe I can just,
you know, poop it out?
811
01:18:16,858 --> 01:18:19,190
You won't be able to poop it out.
812
01:18:19,294 --> 01:18:21,319
In fact, it will hurt you.
813
01:18:21,429 --> 01:18:24,262
In fact,
I don't think it's even good for you
814
01:18:24,365 --> 01:18:25,491
that you poop it out.
815
01:18:25,600 --> 01:18:28,899
What will happen if you take Ex-Lax?
Will that help?
816
01:18:29,237 --> 01:18:30,670
No, if he takes Ex-Lax,
817
01:18:30,772 --> 01:18:33,502
well, he gets a lot of diarrhea,
but no car.
818
01:18:44,719 --> 01:18:46,914
I appreciate it.
Thank you for taking care of me.
819
01:18:47,021 --> 01:18:48,147
- Okay.
- Thanks again.
820
01:18:48,923 --> 01:18:52,017
You know, it's not that easy
trying to get this thing out as it is.
821
01:18:52,127 --> 01:18:53,890
Especially with all you guys
fucking staring at me.
822
01:18:53,995 --> 01:18:57,123
Fucking peanut gallery
while I'm trying to crap.
823
01:18:58,399 --> 01:19:00,799
- Oh, shit!
- Get down there and film low.
824
01:19:00,902 --> 01:19:03,029
That sounded like an injury.
825
01:19:04,606 --> 01:19:06,836
- Did it come out?
- It's coming.
826
01:19:07,642 --> 01:19:09,371
Everyone, be quiet.
827
01:19:11,146 --> 01:19:12,636
Oh, that hurt so bad.
828
01:19:12,747 --> 01:19:15,682
- Let me see it. Hold it up.
- Something broke.
829
01:19:16,384 --> 01:19:17,817
I'm bleeding.
830
01:19:18,319 --> 01:19:20,810
- Let's see it. Let's see it.
- Not that bad.
831
01:19:40,208 --> 01:19:41,334
He's alive!
832
01:19:42,577 --> 01:19:44,977
Oh, Johnny Knoxville. He made it.
833
01:19:46,047 --> 01:19:47,605
Oh, there is a God.
834
01:19:47,715 --> 01:19:49,012
Oh, please.
835
01:19:49,117 --> 01:19:51,813
And at last! I thought it would never...
836
01:19:53,021 --> 01:19:54,579
This is the end!
837
01:19:54,789 --> 01:19:56,950
Oh, thank you, Jesus!
838
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,257
Oh, child!
839
01:20:02,430 --> 01:20:05,228
- Let's see it! Let's see it!
- Not that bad.
840
01:20:39,400 --> 01:20:40,367
Oh, shit!
841
01:20:47,175 --> 01:20:48,472
Oh, fuck!
842
01:21:08,896 --> 01:21:09,863
Bam, what the...
843
01:21:42,230 --> 01:21:45,688
Whose dick do I gotta suck
to get some explosions around here?
844
01:22:30,211 --> 01:22:31,838
It's got a boner.
845
01:22:37,518 --> 01:22:40,510
Oh! Oh, fuck!
846
01:22:42,724 --> 01:22:44,214
That's a man.
847
01:23:01,342 --> 01:23:02,468
Gator wrestling.
848
01:23:09,951 --> 01:23:11,646
For fuck's sake, come here!
849
01:23:11,753 --> 01:23:13,653
Hurry up. Hurry up.
850
01:23:14,889 --> 01:23:16,049
Hurry!
851
01:23:24,766 --> 01:23:27,496
We wanted to see if you would run here
with a car up your ass.
852
01:23:27,602 --> 01:23:29,763
No, I ain't running anywhere.
853
01:23:32,774 --> 01:23:34,469
It's scary enough to walk.
854
01:23:35,076 --> 01:23:37,544
You're nice. You're a good man.
855
01:23:38,579 --> 01:23:41,070
- Want to come over for dinner?
- No, that's okay.
856
01:23:41,182 --> 01:23:45,118
- You know how to operate it now?
- Yeah, I think so. I think so.
857
01:23:47,422 --> 01:23:49,151
- I need help.
- Yeah.
858
01:24:05,907 --> 01:24:08,501
The smiley face is a complete crucial.
859
01:24:09,377 --> 01:24:10,435
What did I say?
860
01:24:10,545 --> 01:24:11,637
- Fuck.
- Fuck.
861
01:24:11,746 --> 01:24:12,770
I didn't say the "F" word.
862
01:24:12,880 --> 01:24:13,972
Yeah, you did. You said "fuck."
863
01:24:14,081 --> 01:24:17,448
- Don't worry, we'll bleep it.
- I did? Can we cut that out?
864
01:24:21,856 --> 01:24:24,552
- It's all right.
- It looks fine. It looks normal.
865
01:24:31,065 --> 01:24:33,693
I think it says "fuck" on my forehead.
866
01:24:34,669 --> 01:24:38,901
- They don't have a tail?
- No! They must have...
867
01:24:44,979 --> 01:24:46,674
Show him the x-ray.
868
01:24:55,122 --> 01:24:58,023
I mean, trust me, dude,
I'm not unimpressed.
869
01:25:19,747 --> 01:25:20,907
Fuck!
870
01:25:21,816 --> 01:25:25,616
The next time,
we can do Son of Jackass.
871
01:25:25,720 --> 01:25:26,948
Son...
872
01:27:30,211 --> 01:27:31,576
Yeah, dude.
64063
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