Original subtitles

Okay. Here we go. Okay.

Hold on.

One more time.

Wait, slower, slower, slower, slower, slower.

One more time.

And then just one time.

Uh-huh. And now the hard part.

No! One,

two, three, four, five, six.

You got it? Yeah. And that was the best part.

Yeah.

One more time together.

Ready?

You ready? Two hands. And then. Yep.

Yeah. Perfect.

Perfect. You're so flexible.

Okay. Okay. One more time.

Yeah.

I missed it.

That was great.

Great work.

Sounding really good.

Maybe play it a couple more times just for practice, but good job.

Walk me.

Walk

me.

Make you leave me.

I'm afraid to say you leave me.

Day comes and still be praying.

If you go, you know you'll grieve me.

Only knock on your day then.

How am I taking that you love me?

Dreaming dreams of you and me.

I'm complaining that I love you over and over again.

I'm afraid someday you'll leave me.

Then come to still be with me.

If you go, you know you'll grieve me.

All your life on you they've been.

I'm confessing that you love me.

Dream, dreams of you remain.

I'm confessing that I love you. Over and over again.

I'm confessing that I love you.

of the day

Please remind me why you got me this bike.

What? This bike. Why?

Core strength.

Spine health. Remember the doctor said?

You were supposed to fold it.

The whole point of the folding bike.

It folds. This thing is fucking impossible to fold. You know how hard

this is to fold?

It's supposed to be more convenient than a normal bike. It's way less convenient

than a normal bike. Also, the wheels, they're so little.

It's like I've got to pedal four times to get one normal wheel rotation out of

it.

Oh, I'm depressed. Practice, maybe.

Where's Maggie? Yo, Maggie!

No, she's not here.

Where is she? She's at a sleepover.

Where? At Sadie's.

I didn't know she was having a sleepover with Sadie. It was her last minute.

Oh, God. Sadie is so strange, isn't she?

I don't know if it's good that she's hanging around with Sadie.

It's fine.

I called ahead. Sadie's mother is single.

There are no men or weapons in the home.

You called Sadie's mother to ask if she was single? Yeah, of course.

Of course?

Sadie's fucking crazy.

Holy shit.

My God, look at all this cheese. No, no, no, no, no, no. Leave it, leave it,

leave it, leave it, leave it. Not yet, not yet, not, not yet. What is all this?

What is that? What is that smell?

I'm making a souffle.

You're making a souffle? And there's 200 pounds of cheese? Is there like an

event? Are we expecting people?

Our neighbors.

It's neighbors.

Our upstairs neighbors. I told you yesterday, remember?

You have mentioned that for some insane reason you want to invite them over. You

for sure didn't tell me they were coming over tonight. Why didn't you ask me

about this? I did.

Oh, did you, sweetie? When did that happen? I told you.

Yesterday. Well, telling me and asking me are actually two very different

things. And if I'm being honest, I don't even think you told me. It's not like

you listen to anything that I say anyway. Oh, fuck. Did you forget the

wine? What wine?

I texted you. I texted you about wine. We don't have any wine. What are you

doing? Stop! I'm eating a pickle.

You guys couldn't have any cheese. I'm hungry. I'm eating a pickle, okay?

Now you're not going to eat my soup plate. I'll eat the soup plate. And we

have no wine. This is a nightmare.

It's not a fucking nightmare.

What?

Nothing. Can you please just clean up your office?

It's just such an eyesore.

Can you please call the neighbors and tell them to come another time?

No. No.

It's too late. They're coming in ten minutes.

They're coming in 10 fucking minutes. Why didn't you tell me any of this?

Because we've been talking about them coming for like six months, okay? And

they've been so nice about all our noise from the renovation.

Our noise?

Did you just say they've been nice about our noise?

That's nuts.

You're making a souffle for these people now? What is happening here? She said

she wanted to see it. She just wants to see it now that it's done. And she's

very nice. They're very, very, you know, they seem cool.

And she has like presence.

She's so, she's so pretty.

Yeah, she's fine. But he is a fucking weirdo, okay? Every time I'm in the

elevator with him, it's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, nonstop. You

know what I mean? That's what people do. And he's asking me questions, and he

wants me to ask him questions, and the eye contact is off the charts. Yeah,

that's called a conversation, Joe.

What is this?

What? That's a rug.

It's new.

Yeah.

Did you buy this rug because the neighbors are coming? Oh, my God. How

much was this rug? You are so predictable. I'm predictable? You just

bought a whole right to impress strangers. Isn't that a little bit more

predictable? I could have seen that coming a mile away.

Can we please do a reset?

A what?

Can you leave and come back in again? Is this from a podcast? Yes, it is. Does it

matter? You physically want me to leave the apartment and come back in?

Please, do that for me? No, it's fucking silly.

Joe, I'm asking you to just do that for me. Would that be okay? Fine. I will do

that for you, okay? Great. Here we go. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. This will

fix everything.

Hi, I'm home.

Hi.

Oh, how's it going?

Great.

Cool. Any, uh...

Any plans for tonight?

Yeah. Our neighbors are coming over.

Neighbors? Oh, man, I love them. Especially how chatty and inquisitive

they are. It's so cool.

They're super cool.

But maybe you could call them and ask them to come another night, because I'm

just not feeling up for it tonight, you know?

No. No? No. What the fuck?

No, it would be rude. They're literally on their way over to us. Are you

kidding? I thought we were going to reset. So did I.

You said the same shit.

Can we put curtains on this window? I don't like how they can see right into

our apartment, you know? I like the light.

I got this ham, you know, because she's from Spain, so it's not actually ham,

it's jamon.

I can't have any of this cheese. Please don't eat the cheese, Joe. I worked so

hard on that. Can you just wait, and then they'll come, and you'll eat

cheese, and then you can go upstairs and smoke weed. I smoke weed in here if you

let me.

Well, no, I won't, because it gets stuck in the walls.

You know what?

I actually think it's really cool that they're coming over tonight.

Why?

Because.

We can finally talk to them about the noise.

No, Joe, we made a deal.

What deal?

That we weren't going to say anything.

Yeah, well, you know what?

I changed my mind.

It is none of our business what they do in the privacy of their own home. None

of our business that every night we get woken up by floor-shaking animal

fucking? How is that none of our business? How is that none of our

fucking business? She is having just spectacular orgasms. Are you aware of

how difficult that is for a woman? Doesn't seem that hard for her.

What is she, a role model now?

Yeah, she's definitely my role model.

She'll become role model? That's great.

Can we please just paint this room already?

Well, we haven't picked a color, Joe. No, no. Pick the same color. Pick the

color. Who cares?

Not the same color. Remember I almost said something to them in the elevator

that day? Yes. I was so close to saying something. Oh, I wish I had said

something to them that day. Nope, nope, I do. I remember that we decided we were

not going to say anything. Yeah, that's because I thought it couldn't possibly

get any worse. And you know what happened right after that? Is it got

much, much, much, much worse. They were going to crash through the fucking

ceiling the other day. Joe, we are not saying anything.

Why not?

They're cool, right?

Keep saying how cool they are. So maybe if I bring it up, we can finally get to

the bottom of whose orgasm is whose.

Is he the whimper and she's the growler? Or is she the whimper and he's the

growler? Either way, I'll bring it up, we'll laugh about it, and I'll tell them

to not get the fuck off. It's like you want everyone to feel uncomfortable. I'm

the one who's uncomfortable?

If our neighbors were waking us up every night at four in the morning by blasting

music and I said something about it to them, wouldn't that be completely

reasonable? It's the exact same thing, but it's even more justified because

it's fucking... Don't say...

Anything! Just not tonight, please!

Sure, is this also new?

Yes.

Well, it's nice. It looks really good on you.

Well, you could tell me that once in a while.

I... I just did tell you that. God, I can't believe you forgot the wine. I

didn't forget the wine. I'm on this collapsible bike like a fucking schmuck,

and I can't answer text messages while I'm on it. Do we have anything nice to

drink? No, if there's nothing to drink, we should probably call them and tell

them not to come over, right? Look, we have this. This thing. Is this weird?

Yes, it's weird. What is this, New Year's? We're popping champagne with

these people? It's fine. Look, we'll pre-pop it so by the time they get here,

it'll be, you know, fizzed out and it'll just be like a sparkling wine. Can't you

see this is obviously not a good time to have company?

What the fuck do you mean? I just made this hole so slight. Did you see this

thing? Yes. Do you have any idea how hard I worked on this fucking thing?

It's going to be fucking beautiful if you would just shut the fuck up. I'm

going to make this very simple. If you tell him not to come around, I'm going

to bring up the screaming, groaning, fucking noise. What?

Was that an ultimatum? Yeah. The choice is yours.

I'm sorry.

You're going to bring up the fucking?

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Do you understand how hard it is?

for a woman to come that hard. Yes, I do, because you've mentioned it a

hundred times in the last three minutes. I don't think you get it. I don't think

you really understand how difficult it is.

And if we say something, do you know what's going to happen?

Every time they fuck and she comes, they're going to see our dumb faces.

That's not fair.

I could not care less about anything in the world than this woman's fucking

orgasm. I just wanted to have a nice night. I just wanted to have a nice,

normal fucking night, and you won't let me. These people are disrespecting us!

They know we can hear them. Can you not see that? What are you talking about?

You sound like your father. No, that is not what this is. They know we can hear

them. They get off on it. They're fucking with us. They're perverts.

They're not thinking about us. Well, maybe that's the problem. Maybe they

should be thinking about us. What? Oh, you know what? We're not fucking

canceling. Do you know why?

We don't have friends.

You mean I'll be friends with them? Are you kidding me? Also, it's not my fault

we don't even know each other. I would love to have friends.

People like me? Why do you think we know each other?

Why do you think we know each other?

We're fucking miserable.

Hi.

Hi, come in.

Nice to see you. Yes, we are so happy you're here.

Hi.

Ah, two.

Angela, hi.

Me too.

Yeah. Joe, you remember Peanut Hawk?

Still a good time.

Yeah? Yeah.

Are you sure we are not interrupting something? No, great. It's good for you.

Yeah? It's great for us. Yeah, we love, yep.

It took you a while to come to the door. And it sounded like you were arguing.

No filter. No, I just want to be honest. We were at the door before we rang, and

we could hear you were fighting.

Oh, we were talking.

We were, um... We were fighting. We were fighting, yeah. A bit of a contentious

environment in here, so I understand if that's repellent to you. No hard

feelings, you know what I mean?

Completely understand, you know? We love a contentious environment.

We love it.

Wow. Really, it's fine.

You hit the jackpot then, my friend.

You're in for a treat.

Okay? Yeah, great. Do we have to take our shoes off? Oh, God, no, no, no. No?

Yeah, okay, great.

Hey, Joe.

Yeah, thank you. Joe, be honest. Do you want us to take them off?

I don't give a fuck if you take your shoes off, personally.

Hawk, is it?

Hawk, yeah.

Like the bird? Yep, like the bird.

Cool.

We've been dying to see your apartment.

Oh! Oh, God, I'm so sorry. We wanted to invite you. It wasn't quite ready

before. It wasn't quite ready, if you ask me, but... You mentioned it in the

elevator, but then you never called.

We, uh... I mean, we wondered if we did something wrong. No, God, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I'm sorry about that, no.

What are you...

What do you think?

It's huge.

So much bigger than ours. And you have such a nice flow.

Do you guys have money?

You've

really

got some beautiful pieces.

It's all Angela's. Well, I know what I like, but it's actually not all

expensive. Some of it is very expensive, though. Yeah, not everything, but not

everything. I guess what I meant to say is, you can tell that it's been done

with a lot of care and you have a really great eye that's true i i can feel it i

feel you put so much love i i did that thank you yeah i i

love it i do love it i really care i do thank you for saying that i see it i

care i do care a lot

emotional i don't know why but i thank you thank you for saying that yeah it

has got great energy wow look at that energy is

what i was going for that's what i wanted energy is great we talked a lot

about how to capture energy as though that was a real thing we could do energy

is everything really kinetic chemical potential nuclear sexual you cannot

really create it or destroy it but You can find ways to shape it.

Beautiful.

You shaped it really beautifully here. I love the shape.

Thank you.

Too existential for you, Joe?

No, hey, not existential enough for me. Let's get deep.

What is life?

Oh, that is my Spanish flan.

No. Oh, my God. Flan. Oh, how elegant. Fair warning.

Once you try peanut flan, There's no going back.

You'll be at our door late at night like a junkie under the bridge saying, we

need a score, like heroin.

Wow.

You might want to put it in the fridge.

Yeah, yeah. Come on. You don't want to refrigerate it. Is it flan or flan?

Flan. Flan. I thought it was flan.

Remember to... Yeah, right.

I'm so sorry. I haven't... I literally haven't offered you anything to drink.

We have... Oh, beautiful.

Sparkle.

That.

Or maybe you'd prefer... Wine. Wine's better. Wine.

Wine.

Wine.

Do we have wine?

We do have wine. We do have wine. We do. We have... We

have

been waiting for the perfect moment. Are you sure this is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah. Great.

Finally.

There it is, 1982.

Chateaubriand.

You want to save that for another time? No.

What time? This is it. Are you kidding me? Yeah.

No time like the present. All right.

Do you want to open it?

Of course. Yeah.

That's not where it is. It's usually in there. It should be in there. No, it's

never been in there.

No. It should be in there. No, it's never. You mean it? Literally never been

there. You want me to find it?

It's not there. No, because I never would have put it in there. That's not

where it goes.

It's literally never been there. Do you want me to do it? Got it.

All right, we don't have people over very often.

Can you meet Jeff? I got it.

Wow. A little bit of corking there.

I had confidence, Joe.

Thank you. I knew I'd get there.

Yeah.

Thank you so much. Yes. Great.

Salud.

Joe, thank your uncle.

He's dead, so maybe next time.

You weird guy.

Oh, how is your daughter?

Maggie. She's so cool. She is cool, yeah. I love her style. I know, right?

She's awesome.

Yeah, she's amazing. I'm really going to miss her.

Where's she going?

To college.

In six years? She's 12 years old. I know, but I'm going to miss her and I'm

going to be alone.

What about me?

Where have I gone? I'm just saying it's going to be different.

Are you going to kill me? Do you know something? No, I don't know. I'm just

saying it won't be the same.

It's not going to be the same.

I'm sorry.

I feel like I'm becoming emotional again.

It's just that I... Sorry for what?

I mean, who would be crazy if we didn't cry?

Yeah. You know the best way to release stress hormones?

Oh,

I have a lot of that then. That's what I do.

She does.

There's nothing in the world better than being a mom, you know?

For some.

But not everyone. That isn't your path. No. You don't. I mean,

we talk about it. We think about it. Right.

Hasn't been a priority.

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, maybe. That's great.

You should probably decide sooner than later.

What?

Whether or not you're going to have children.

Why?

You know, just due to age.

Whose age?

You know, I mean, Picasso had a baby when he was 90.

It's probably more of the 90s stuff.

Science.

Just like traditionally, the woman... I didn't want to talk. We don't have to

talk about this. Actually, I have something. You know, time she marches...

I don't know if you saw it before, but it's just something, a gesture to...

Remind you of home.

It's just a little jamon.

Oh, that is so sweet, and I love how you say it again.

Jamon. Oh, my God, it's so sweet. I would eat you. I cannot. I don't eat

meat. No,

he does.

I do, yeah. Full carnivore.

Cheese? We have so much cheese. I mean, for me, no cheese. Oh, you don't eat

cheese? No.

The crackers.

For me, also no. No gluten, no dairy, no meat, no sugar.

We got almonds.

You want almonds?

We got jam.

Really failed on the meat then, huh?

Meat fail. Failed on the meat. I will eat penis meat.

All your beautiful meat will get eaten. I'm starving.

It's great.

Thank you. Is there a bathroom I can use? Yeah.

Thank you. It's lovely.

Great. Peanut.

What do you want to eat? Whatever you want. I can get it. I can order it. I

can get it here so fast.

Five minutes. They come on a bike. Anything. Any cuisine you like. What do

you like?

I don't want anything.

But I don't understand how you put all of this together so quickly.

I mean, we only planned this morning. This is like magic.

This morning?

Really? Or I think yesterday morning. Just this morning. This morning. Not

yesterday. Last morning. This morning. Last morning.

That's not an expression. This morning.

Happened today. Because the days, they, you know how they. They kind of blur in

a way. Yeah. This morning.

Yeah, you know.

Are you cold?

What are you doing?

It's hot in here.

What are you doing?

Am I okay? I don't know.

Are you choking? I just got a little... I feel... I'm okay.

I'm okay. Are you choking right now? No, I... I'm having little anxiety. I got a

little... This happens a lot.

It could be the beginning of perimenopause. What?

Perimenopause. And it can be such a challenging, horrible time. Holy shit.

And last more than 10 years. Oh my God. Great.

Makes me so angry.

How so many people still today talk about hot flashes as the only problem. I

know. I mean, this is a serious, huge neuroendocrine change that affects

everything. Memory, cardiovascular health, metabolism. And we're expected

just to deal with it. Just deal with depression, anxiety, brain fog,

insomnia. Mood swings, is that one of them?

Yeah, yeah. Resentment towards your spouse, overspending on home goods and

cheeses. abundance of charcuterie.

I knew you were going to make a joke about it. I am. I'm making a joke. Let

me explain it to you in a different way. Okay.

What if your testicles shriveled up and died and your

empty ball sack slapped around in the breeze for the next 30 years

or so? How would you like that?

I wouldn't like that.

No.

You will. No. So don't joke about it. Okay. Copy that. I won't. I get it. I'm

sorry.

Are you a doctor or something like that?

I'm a psychotherapist. Yeah.

And a sexologist.

Oh. Sexologist. And I also care about women.

I care about women.

Hey, they got like a whole music studio here.

That's good.

That's going to be bad.

You the piano player?

No one plays with it, actually, anymore. So nice.

No?

Joe was in a band.

Oh, really? Yeah, he was in a band.

We know you, and we just don't know we know you? No, definitely not.

I'm positive, yeah.

You might.

I don't think so.

I remember.

The onslaught? Yeah, the onslaught. They had a song, One Girl. It was very big.

One Girl, yeah.

It was really big in 2008.

Yeah, for one week.

In 2008. 2008. Yeah.

Were you a girl?

I was. I was. Still is.

Technically still am.

Yeah. I was a girl. Oh, what kind of music?

Well, it's like pop, punk, indie.

It's a dead genre, technically. Do you like music?

No.

But, I mean, you know, can we find it on Spotify?

Do you ever play live? We could come see you.

Yeah, you kind of missed that window by a few decades, unfortunately.

He actually teaches music now. Yeah.

Where? East Bay.

Like Berklee?

No, East Bay Music. It's a small conservatory.

It's an amazing school. It's fine. It's a fine school.

You're a music professor.

Associate.

Wow, that's really cool.

Yeah, that's fine.

I'm sorry. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I'm sorry.

Oh,

come on.

What is going on here?

Rug.

Where'd you get it? He is obsessed with carpets. Oh, so am I. I love rugs.

Joe, not so much. Not so much. More into credenzas, sconces, things like that.

Holy shit, I think it's a Harith.

No.

Where did you get this? I got it at a flea market. A flea market?

No, you didn't. I did. No, you didn't. I just like the colors. You did? Well, you

found a Van Gogh in a garage sale.

I did. Wow.

But it's a rug. Yeah. No, it's not. It's a Harith.

Harith. Rug.

Hmm.

But you didn't pay a fortune for this. I did not.

You swear.

It's a rug. Wow.

You have a gift. I mean, that's like, wow.

I want to take off my clothes and just lie naked on it. Do it.

Can you imagine the things this carpet has seen?

So many stories.

It's really like, really kind of incredible, incredible vibe. Good

energy. Wow.

Really good energy. Yeah. He did our entire apartment.

It's so beautiful. You have to come over. Yeah.

And we really mean it, unlike you, Joe. Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. Are you an

interior designer or something?

What? Oh, thank you. No.

No, he's a fireman.

Firefighter, we say.

Firefighter. You're a firefighter?

You're not a firefighter. You weren't a firefighter. Yeah, he was fire captain.

You were a fire captain. Captain Hawk.

Captain Hawk.

No, you weren't. You're not Captain Hawk. That's bullshit.

Why? Why?

You don't seem like a firefighter. What does a firefighter seem like? They're

brawnier. They're brawnier. They have mustaches. What do you mean? They're

brawnier. Kiss Brony. Kiss Brony. Fuerte.

Fuerte. More Fuerte. More Fuerte. He's very Fuerte. He's pretty Fuerte. I don't

know. He could be more Fuerte. I don't know if he's fireman Fuerte.

I was more Fuerte in the beginning, but I was, you know, I got to my pension. I

just decided I'd had enough and kind of gave up my hose for the...

Command job and then thank God so I retired Just started pursuing my other

interests and new adventures The adventure of roofing no, sorry rolfing

rolfing. That's what I said rolfing rolfing say it again

You're a masseuse now,

that's cool gonna work in the Four Seasons no no rolfing's a

It's a much deeper modality.

It's challenging for both parties, really. But, yeah, it's been healing.

I'm almost certified. You want to jump on my table, Joe?

Never in a million years.

Yeah, I really love you, Joe.

What do you love about me, Hawk?

I like how honest you are about what you're feeling.

Well... In the pursuit of honesty.

Who was the house tour?

Would you like to see more? There's so much more. I do. Great.

Yeah, I did. Yeah.

I'm actually going to smoke a joint. I've seen the place.

No.

Can I come with you?

Really? Yeah, can I?

Sure. Totally.

Are you going to go up to the roof?

I thought I'd just, you know, maybe go in my office. Smoke in there, right?

That's cool, right? Unless you have a problem with that. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Cool, right?

Cool. Yeah.

Cool. Cool, right? Yeah. Cool.

Yeah. Let's go.

Do you want to open a window?

Do you know?

Yeah, sure. Great.

A lot of stuff in here.

What do you got?

Other than this?

You saw this.

Copenhagen. You spend a lot of time here.

I do. You can tell.

You just let go?

Yeah.

It's a little messy. I'm usually, you know, usually alone in here.

There you go.

There you go.

Chaos.

Biggest sign of creativity.

Really? Good. Great. It means you're focused on more important things.

Oh, you know, that's how I like to think of it. Not sure.

Not sure I would agree with that.

Disgusting. I actually did all of this grouting myself, which I love. I find it

meditative. Joe thinks I'm insane.

And then the floor, I mean, I'm sure this is something you might have picked

up. No.

Original ceramic penny tile. Wow.

Anyway, that was sort of similar to what was there before, but that was kind of

what I was going for with the whole theme was renovation without change,

which I think...

I succeeded in, you know, just to keep it original, but with a new surface.

Admittedly, I know a lot less about tile than I've learned about rugs.

And a lot of the bathrooms that I've seen have been on fire, so my

relationship with them was fleeting. But I'd have just said this was an

immaculately preserved vintage bathroom.

Wow.

That's what I was going for.

You fooled me.

Wow.

Oh, Facebook Marketplace. Come on.

The jamon is not jamon. That's not jamon. No, it's really like prosciutto.

It's prosciutto. Which is okay. It doesn't look like jamon. It looks like

prosciutto. But I didn't want to say anything. No, yeah, don't. If you told

her that wasn't jamon, she would commit suicide in our dining room.

I'm telling you that right now. She can't take it. She could not take that.

More?

You good?

I don't want more because then... If I have more than one hit, I start counting

objects, and I can't stop and imagine what I would be. You start counting

objects?

I've never heard that.

We'd lose you for the rest of your life.

Exactly. Exactly. What is this?

It's for a xylophone.

Exactly. You figure it out.

It's intuitive, ultimately.

There's only one of those, so if you're okay, figure it out.

This is actually, um... This is where the two apartments were combined.

And you can just see that, because it's a little bit thicker there, that that's

where they, um... Where there used to be a...

Separation. A wall. Wall. Yeah.

That was what they call a wall. The technical term is wall. We literally are

just that much, so. Oh, right, because you guys are. Yeah. Yeah. So lucky. Huh.

Well, so this is Maggie's room, and I actually did, I did all the sampling,

and she's probably a little old for it now. I'm probably going to have to

change it, but I. No, it's cute.

Yeah.

Yeah. The carpeting is.

Oh.

Wow.

Oh. God, that's so good.

Is that like Larry Fulton? Oh, no, no, no, no. That is me.

You took it?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Wow. Do you work as a photographer?

No.

No, I went to art school like a million years ago, and I got a degree I did

literally nothing with, and that is from then.

I mean, I think, you know, your creativity is all over in this place. I

think you're really talented.

Thank you.

What about this?

Oh, no, because that's the bedroom, which is... What's going on in here.

Yeah. No, I know. I didn't... It's not part of the tour.

It's a pretty important room.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yes, he's the fireman. He's really a fireman. Yeah. How long have you been

with him?

One year. A little less than one year. One year. That's it.

Oh, wow.

What about longer?

I was married before.

Really? Yeah.

Interesting. How did you meet the fireman?

He was my patient.

He was your patient?

And then you started dating him?

Pina. This was Joe's parents' house.

Oh, wow.

He grew up here.

He grew up here. Yeah, he was conceived right here.

On this bed? No, no, no, different bed. Oh, good. Different mattress.

Like parental fluid. A little bit too intimate, maybe. I mean, he hates people

knowing this. Why? Because, I mean, we could never in a million years afford

this place.

No shame in that. Like, nobody in America can afford anything today. Yeah,

but he really...

It's a big crazy. Yeah, it's not a gift.

I mean just well, that's what I think that make it make it positive, you know,

I'd like to be grateful and Lean into it make it your own, you know, yeah so much

pleasure in that. Yeah Yeah Can

I do something sure

I I have a

I have a decision to make, and I feel like you might be able to help me make

it. I mean, if I can, yeah.

Wait, did you leave your husband for Hawk? Is that what happened?

No, I didn't. That relationship was over when I met him.

How did you know that it was over, if you don't mind me asking?

We stopped having sex, then we stopped talking, then we were...

Strangers.

People forget that they deserve more.

You know, they start living on mirajas, crumbs.

Crumbs, yeah.

Yeah, and I cannot live like that. I'd rather die.

I think you really just have to listen to what is your heart kind of pulling

you toward, what vision of yourself, you know.

I mean, do you see yourself walking on a cold beach alone with the wind in your

face and the clarity of that?

Or sitting on a southern porch in the heat, holding hands and getting old?

Or sitting in a Copenhagen cafe with a stranger?

I'd go with Copenhagen.

I feel the same way.

For the reason I knew that you would feel that. It seems so clear now that

we're here looking at it.

You're so right. It was right there the whole time.

God, thank you.

You didn't need me.

I did, though. I did. I needed you.

No, you just needed me. No, you wouldn't understand. It's been months of this.

I've been tortured.

You knew you just needed someone to tell you what you already knew.

Yeah.

Joe just, he thinks they all look the same. Yeah.

Is he colorblind?

He might be. That man's name is Hawk.

There's worse birds.

Could have been worse.

Just know that at the end of the day.

Of all the birds, of all the birds, it's a pretty cool one.

I grabbed a tank and I went back in and the dog was where they said it would be.

And that's when I ran out of air because I had grabbed an empty tank. Oh God.

Oh no.

Yeah. So I just, I sucked a lot of smoke and I burned my lungs and my throat.

Oh wow.

Wow. And then it was time to quit.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But you know what?

Life's been so expansive since then that I kind of can't

believe that I did it as long as I did it.

And now rugs.

Rugs. Rugs.

Yeah.

I love them so much. I love them too. It's a problem. Yeah.

Because I just want all of them. I want all.

Around the rugs.

Yeah.

Have you got tequila?

I do have tequila.

Would you like some? Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

They're smoking a joint. We better catch up, right?

Yeah.

I'm stealing the bathroom real quick.

But it's beautiful.

Thanks. They're silly. They're old. They are beautiful.

They are interesting.

Yeah. Appreciate it. Do you have this one? Oh, wow. Nice. I have this one.

Sorry, I wanted to take your time.

It's like two in one.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Okay, what is that?

It's two birds.

Pina and Hawk. Pina and Hawk.

Look at that.

That's nice.

I like that.

So, when did you get them? When you were in that band?

I did, yeah. Pretty old. A long time ago.

20 years ago, maybe.

That's, uh... Oh!

Yeah. Wow.

You know, um, you should replace this.

It's really dangerous.

This old single-pane stuff, it'll shatter with even a little bit of heat.

Oh, there's no risk of that. This is a very cold apartment. There's not a lot

of... There's not a lot of heat.

You never know.

Tequila. Tequila. Yes, tequila.

Can you do something for me?

I mean, probably, yeah.

Please play something.

Just one. I love music. Please.

Please.

I should check on Angela, make sure she didn't forget how to breathe. You know

what I mean?

Joe, how do you mean?

They're new neighbors.

Yeah, they're really cool, actually.

Yeah, they make no small talk whatsoever in the elevator, so I like it. Oh, they

do? I bet they do. That's shocking.

Joe, put on some music!

Yeah, we're putting it on. Yeah, what kind of music are you into, Hawk?

What is Sade?

She loves that.

Sexy world.

You don't know any jazz at all? Who doesn't love jazz? I really want to

learn jazz. Where should I start?

Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Dizzy Gillespie. Is Miles with the cheeks that

go out? I feel like at this point in your life, you have to work harder to

not know who Miles Davis is.

Hey, literally, look what I just pulled.

No, no, no.

Oh, you have to play it. Play it. Can we play it? Just play it. One girl. Play

it, play it. Come on, this is your love story right here.

No, no, no, no. Just this one. Don't put it on. Come on. Don't put it on. Just

give it a taste. Don't put it on. We've got the artist and we've got the girl.

No? No.

Hey, sorry.

I'm sorry.

You know what?

We actually shouldn't listen to music right now because there's something I've

been wanting to talk to you guys about.

Oh, my God. You have to try this.

Wow. Isn't that good?

Oh, my God.

It's incredible.

I can't be objective, but my flan is the best. No, it's unbelievable.

It's like a cookie crack.

It's so good. It melts in your mouth. Yeah, it's so delicious.

Anyway, when I was about to say... No, my God, have more.

Second bite is when it really just settles in.

slide down look anyway oh god it's got sauce it's got sauce in it i need to

talk to you guys right should we do shots i think we should have a toast

sure yeah i think shots for everybody thank you yeah anyway uh the noise

uh has been a thing that i think we want to apologize for it because it's been

loud and it took longer took longer than we thought and you guys have been so

kind and we just wanted to say thank you and

you're so nice i i mean look we're all neighbors yeah and uh we really hello

and we're just so happy that you invited us and grateful

and and actually we also have something we wanted to talk to you about you also

want to talk to us that's a funny coincidence we both have things we want

to say to each other it's nothing bad nothing bad no i think something's on

Joe's mine. I do have something to

say.

No, you first.

You are the guest.

And you should go first. You guys go. And then I'll go right after. I don't

care. It doesn't matter to me.

All right. Well, we wanted to apologize.

Yes. You wanted to apologize?

Yeah.

Yeah, for what?

We feel we may have bothered you. Bothered us? In more than one occasion,

actually. What? When?

At night, usually, and specifically, and sometimes late in the night. What?

When we have sex.

You? Yes.

We do have sex a lot. A lot, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah.

And we...

Really try to keep it down, but sometimes lately it's been really

impossible not to lose control.

Even for a fireman?

A firefighter. Firefighter.

We know we've been too loud, and we know it was intrusive, and we're sorry, and

we're going to be more conscientious.

Better neighbors.

Oh, my God, no. You guys don't have that. No, we have not heard anything,

honestly. We haven't heard anything.

It hasn't even... What?

Right, Joe? We haven't heard anything.

Right?

No, we actually haven't heard anything, so no need to apologize. I sleep like a

log, you know? A log.

Yeah.

Joe. What?

Yes? Joe.

What? What?

Great. Great. Joe.

What? Don't lie.

I'm not lying. Joe, you've been telling the truth all night. I love when you

tell the truth.

I love it.

Great. Tell the truth. I'm telling the truth.

What do you want from me? You're not telling the truth. I am telling the

truth. Joe.

What?

We know.

It bothers me. It doesn't bother me. It doesn't. Look, don't. I hate to burst

your bubble. Maybe your sex isn't as explosive as you think it is, because

I've never heard it, OK?

Joe, you know, you knocked on our door the other night.

Joe, you were pounding on our door.

No, I didn't.

We saw you.

We have a ring camera.

No. No, you don't. It's hidden. Where?

Our media.

What's a media?

They don't make that. It's a ring people.

That's not a thing. It's a new thing.

When did that come out?

Show him.

Show him. Do you want to see it? I don't need to see it because it's not real.

Through the app to our phone. And, you know, it flags it if it sends us

aggression. And so it spooked us at first. But look, there. There he comes.

Maybe it's grainy footage and you think it's me, but it's not me. Okay? I didn't

do it.

Maybe it's someone who looks like me, but it's not. Oh, shit.

Yeah.

Sorry, Joe.

See, now he's walking.

He almost walked away, but... You can turn him off. I can't believe you. I

cannot believe you.

No, but it's good.

You were so polite that you stopped to even listen closely. What are you doing?

But then...

Oh, my God. Joe.

We come on the packages in the hall. Oh, my God. You broke an arm. Oh, my God.

Joe. Full of bruises. Just turn it off. Turn it. Look.

Okay. You know what? Yes.

Yes. I banged on your door because you people are fucking like monsters over

there. What are you doing?

What are you trying to prove?

Are you trying to win a contest or something?

It's incredibly inconsiderate. What are you doing? Don't say that. Don't speak

to them that way.

Our daughter can hear it. Did you know that? She can hear it. And I can tell

you're moving furniture up there, and she knows it's not true. She's on to me.

We spend so much time and energy talking about your fucking orgasms. It's

ridiculous.

You talk about my orgasms? Yes, but not as a bad thing. They're not bad. They're

great. I love them.

Really? You love my orgasms? I do.

I love them. She really does. I do. I love them. I think they're great.

They're amazing. She especially likes the growl. Are you the growl, Pina?

Because she loves the growl.

No, no. No, Pina's not a growler.

Oh, you're... You're the growler?

No.

Uh... It's Vanessa.

Vanessa is the growler.

Vanessa?

Vanessa... Wait, who's Vanessa?

A friend. Oh, yeah. Kai's a pretty big guy, and he does breathe heavily. That

could be what you're calling animalistic noises.

Kai.

Who's Kai?

I'm not his friend. Oh, Kai's another friend.

Vanessa and Kai.

Vanessa lives in Nevada City with Kai. Are you fucking with us right now? Is

this a joke? Are you guys fucking around with us? Is this when you're whispering

to each other?

No,

we know you are upset, and you have every right to be.

We've had a few parties. Things have gotten a little more crazy.

Out of hand.

Parties, like cocktail parties. What are you talking about?

Parties. Sex parties. Oh.

Sex parties.

Right, that's like a... Parties where people... Have sex.

Have sex with each other. Sex.

I think that's the commonly understood... Yeah.

Definition. The only one I can think of, honestly. I can't think of another one.

I mean...

And we really apologize.

No, what? No, you don't have to... That's not... No, we're not judging.

That's... You don't... Tell her that J.

That J?

The J you were... Did you leave that in there? It is in my office.

You want me to get... Okay, I'll help you. Yeah, why don't you come with me

to... Yeah, no problem. Yeah.

Hello we good, yeah

Sex party. Yeah, the sex party. Really?

Paint a picture. Disclose what you will about this. What do you want to know?

Whatever you want to tell us, yeah.

They started recently.

Oh, it's a recent development.

The noise uptick probably came because once we started bringing people in, our

bedroom was too small, so we moved into the living room.

Overflow. I got it. That's why this sound kind of reverberates through the

apartment. Wait, can it happen just right on the floor?

No.

Furniture. Sofas. Rugs. That's why you're sewing a rug.

You love a rug. I love this for different reasons.

No, actually. That's why you have a close relationship with them. This

beauty would be pretty uncomfortable. Yeah, you'd need a higher pile, I

imagine. Okay, wait.

More. So, how...

How does it work? Like, how do you get invited? Or do you invite people? Maybe

there's no rule. Are there rules? And can anyone do anything to anyone?

Is it a free-for-all? For starters, you've got to have consent, obviously.

And the connection has to be about joy, about expansion.

It can never be about anger, never about revenge.

And patience.

Patience. Because, you know, some people, they've got to find their own

entry point. Entry point.

did it begin yeah yeah like take us back yeah what's day one of this like i've

always been bi curious for me the pleasure i get from being with a woman

is different yeah me too right and then kai and

valerie vanessa were you guys friends or did you did you meet on an app We're

pretty negative on the app. Really?

Interesting. Yeah,

it's impersonal. You don't want to gamify.

We like to meet people in person, like eye to eye, like organic, real

connection.

You know, and there are conventions.

Oh, yes.

That's good because you do. You need rules. You need some boundaries.

No, no. I mean, there are actual conventions.

Oh, wow. Like an assembly?

Yes. Oh, wow.

Conventions are very easy.

They also offer you a menu.

Oh, a menu.

A menu.

Things you're into. That's good. I like it. It's organized.

I like a menu. You do love a menu.

That's great.

So when you engage with someone, you already know what they want. They have

already set their preferences in advance.

It's like Below Deck. Yeah, it's like a preference sheet on Below Deck. Yeah.

It's a reality show. It's not. But you're just speaking our language. We

get it. We get it now. Honestly, I think maybe the best thing about group sex is

it forces total clarity of communication.

Not the best thing, I wouldn't imagine.

But the clear communication. The sex is probably better, yeah. But the fucking

is probably... What happens if no one...

picks you it's like yeah it's like gym class you get chosen last you got a jerk

off alone in the corner or something i feel like that'd be me no don't worry

you would be chosen yeah very nice but yeah how does that work no no no one

gets excluded you know i mean obviously anyone's free to watch or they don't

want to participate but

Jealousy. You don't get jealous? There's no jealousy. I think jealousy is a

natural animalistic instinct, but you have to replace it. We practice

compersion. Compersion. Compersion. Compersion.

Compersion. Compersion is all about finding joy in the joy of others.

Wow, that would be great. Hard to wrap your head around. And for me, there's

nothing better than watching my partner in the hands of another.

Wow.

Beautiful.

Oh, God.

That's nice.

Super nice.

Wow. So healthy. Very, yes. I feel healthy just seeing it.

That's really, that's, and you know, I love this. I love that it's you and your

friends. It's just like the four of you get together. Four is such a good

number. Yeah. Yeah, it's round.

Sometimes. No more than six.

Six? Six people? Six is a lot. Yeah. That's why it's so loud up there. Yeah.

Six. Yeah. We could go.

Bigger last weekend. That doesn't count because it was a special occasion.

It was Vanessa's birthday.

Well, a birthday is a birthday. Yeah, got to celebrate the good things in

life, I guess, right? Yeah, and she wanted to have ten people. Ten people?

Are you fucking kidding me? Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

Ten? We rented a house in Bolina. Oh, nice.

Very lovely, yeah.

We were so energized.

You know, you feel superhuman.

Honestly, it wasn't for me the best. It was the best.

The experience that we've had. It really was. God.

I bought you.

Vanessa must be great.

Yeah. Is she just like, I'm imagining just like a ball of youthful energy. Is

she just like young? No, Vanessa's very mature. She's old.

No, I wouldn't say that.

That means she's really old. You don't know.

An older. Next time you're in there, count the rings.

A veteran in our group. She's the most experienced person in our.

An oldie but a goodie.

I've learned so much from that woman.

She knows everything about the depth of tantric sex.

Oh. Not jizzing. Wow.

Like sting.

She got me to hold on to my chi. Wow. She pushed us into anal. She pushed you

into anal? Into anal.

It's not for everybody, but...

Hope she pushed you gently. We did really like it. I do love anal. Yeah,

who doesn't? Who doesn't love anal? Holidays, weekends.

Special occasions.

Yeah. But I love giving it.

Oh. And I don't want to speak for him, but he loves receiving it. Oh.

I actually really do. I get a lot of value out of it.

Pegging.

Podcast. That's what that is, right?

You wear a strap.

Oh, wow. Cool.

Vanessa liked the handheld device.

Wow. But it's not really about penetration.

I mean, it is a little. No, it's not really about penetration. It's about

surrender. Oh. Yeah, you just got to surrender that body. Yeah, surrender

that body.

Just give it. Because sex is not a thing you do. It's a place you go.

It's the place Hawks butthole.

Sometimes. On birthdays.

Wow. I think it's cool because anyone who has a fantasy can just order it. The

menu is amazing. You've got bondage, you've got role-playing, you've got...

DP have... DP.

DP.

Double penetration, right? I mean, I'm assuming... Is that not... It's on the

menu. I don't do that. No.

We don't, we... Porn tropes don't tend to be our group's thing, but it is on

the menu. Don't want to be tropey. Hey, it's on the menu. Yeah, I mean...

It's on the menu.

I'm just saying. We don't have to judge it. It's something that some people

might not have on there. I'm just saying.

Double penetration.

Double penetration.

You were listing other stuff. You're a fireman who likes to be pegged.

Firefighter. Firefighter. He loves to be pegged.

So fair point.

Fair point. Yes. I'm just, yeah.

Honestly, like, this is not how I was expecting this to go.

And I honestly feel like I have much more insight into what.

the fuck is going on up there and i feel better about it because it's not you

know you're running the mill married people sex i guess there's something it

is something exceptional happening above our heads and thank you thank you for

telling us and i guess ultimately just

You know, maybe try to keep it down. If you have another big birthday or

holiday, Arbor Day, maybe go to Bolinas again. We want to get an Airbnb.

Thank you for being so understanding and accepting.

We are accepting. My new friend.

Thank you.

Yeah, it's very sweet. I love this.

This is so lovely. I know we haven't hung out a lot, but you guys have seemed

cool and progressive. We are, yeah. I mean, I'm an independent, technically.

Not like the Yadavians. No, we're not. They're a single penetration.

Not at all. Yeah, exactly.

You guys, when you stop fighting, you're really funny. We are.

Pretty chill.

I knew Angela was cool, but so I didn't.

I wasn't sure.

I'm getting to hang out now.

I don't know. I really appreciate it. She was so cool. What? Because I'm cool.

Oh, yeah. I'm cool. Look at this. Look at this.

And the window thing. She knows I'm cool. The what? The window thing?

What window thing? No. What window thing? What window thing are you talking

about? Angela likes to be looked at naked in the window sometimes.

You've seen my wife naked?

No, not in person.

Not in person. She likes to walk around through the window.

Just through the window.

With a little cute Richard.

What is he talking about, Angela?

What is he talking about? I think nothing. Tell me what he's talking

about. That might have happened like once by accident. I don't... I mean, it

happened more than once, but... We're on the street as it was more than once.

Is this a big deal? Why do I feel like everyone knows something here except for

me?

I want you to come here and explain to me what the fuck is going on, please.

You want me to explain? I would love that. I will explain myself.

Please do.

The first time I was coming out of the shower. The first time.

I was nude. Yeah.

And I was on my way to the living room. Why? And I looked up, and he saw me, and

I saw him seeing me, and then I kept going. That is exactly what happened.

Will you shut the fuck up, Hawkins? And then since then, after I shower, I walk

past knowing that he might be watching me. Yes, that's right. A little ritual

you guys have together? Yes, it is. In fact, it is. It is like a little ritual

that I actually enjoy because it makes me feel good. Because I do, in fact,

like to be looked at naked, Joe. Is that okay? Is there a problem? No, it's not

okay. Why would that be okay?

It's not like I'm looking him in the eyes. I've never made eye contact. No,

never once. Who gives a fuck? What does that have to do with anything?

That is a huge deal. No, it isn't. I don't care about that at all. Do you

even care?

You barely look at me.

understand why you're upset so this is somehow my fault that's fucking crazy

that's why you don't want signs on the window so the fireman can see your

fucking tits this is fucked angela joe he's not fucked he's not how is this not

fucked please enlighten me and say how this isn't fucked i think what she's

doing is great it's actually very helpful for whom for her and for us

women you know how many women let go of their erotic aspirations for good You

know how difficult it is what she's doing that she's trying to connect with

that part that she has lost. Good for you. Thank you. Bravo. Great work.

Very important work. It is important. I hope you get a fucking Pulitzer for this

shit. It is important.

Yeah? Yes. What do we all want? Be honest. To desire.

To be desired.

Maybe that's why you look at my boobs in the elevator every time I see you. Oh,

really? Joe looks at your boobs in the elevator. I'm so sorry, Peanut. No.

Really, Joe?

Wow. He thinks I don't notice, but I do. It's like a little game we have, right?

Such a fucking hypocrite. I don't... I don't... They're out there sometimes.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be weird. They're hard not to see. Let me ask you

something. When you look at my boobs, do they seem... My boobs.

Do they seem out of reach to you?

No. It's a small elevator. I could just grab them if I wanted. I would never...

What are you asking?

What are you asking?

Do you feel worthy of desiring them?

I've never thought about that for one fucking second.

Do me a favor.

Please look at my books right now. What is happening right now? Look at them. I

don't want to right now. I have to look. Look at them. I don't want to look at

them right now. Don't be rude. Look, it's fine.

It's fine. Don't be rude. Look at them. I don't want to look at them. Why are

you all teaming up on me, for God's sakes?

Look, I'm not a sicko like you. I don't need to look at another man's wife's

fucking tits to jerk off to, okay? I'm normal. Who's doing that?

You're doing that. Who?

You. When? Every morning, apparently. What? No.

I make love to Pina. I tell her about Angela when I see her, and she likes it.

It's our thing. You guys talk about me when you're...

Yes, my love, of course we do.

Yeah.

Really?

A lot.

Wow. I see what's happening right now, Angela.

What? This whole thing was a setup.

You planned this whole fucking thing right now. What the fuck are you talking

about? Holy shit, the cheese, the souffle, and the meat. You didn't tell

me they were coming. You were trying to have a threesome with these people. You

knew they were fucking other people up there, and you planned this whole thing.

This is fucking crazy, even for you, Angela.

What the fuck, Joe?

I was just trying to have a nice night with the fucking wine and cheese. What

are you talking about? You want to all fuck each other. You've been plotting

this whole thing behind my back.

Stop laughing at me.

Joe. Joe.

Joe. What?

That is not what has been happening. No? Then what?

No, of course not. Did we ever talk to Angela about this? Never. Never. No.

I mean, it is sort of why we came down here, but... Gracias.

Do not speak Spanish.

Stop it.

Oh, de acuerdo.

Okay. Stop speaking Spanish!

Okay, okay.

Listo. Okay.

Joe, Angela, we did come down here tonight to invite you.

Invite us? To join us.

Join you for? For sex.

Sex.

Sex. For group sex.

What else?

Us. Yes.

Me? Both of you.

Both of who?

Both of you.

Including me?

Yeah, both of you means you.

Did you hear that, Joe? I did, Angela. Did you hear that? I heard it. You heard

that, too?

We've been talking about it for quite a while, actually.

Wow.

We feel a very strong connection with you guys.

Okay. We were getting signals, you know, in the window, in the elevator.

They seemed to be very warm signals, signals we liked.

Wow. That's what this has been about.

Okay? That is so nice. Thank you.

Say thank you, Joe. Thank you. Very flattering.

I feel very complimented. We find you very, very attractive.

Thank you. We talk about you.

I know.

We talk about my orgasm.

A lot.

We really do.

Okay. I think even before we came down, we said you guys have a real quiet sex

appeal.

So do you two, too, as well. I wouldn't say it was quiet. No.

So we want to propose to you that we share a sexual experience together.

Okay?

You,

you, her.

And me. Yes. Me too. Yes. Also you. Okay. Yes. Okay. Okay. But it doesn't

have to be tonight, okay?

Okay. No pressure. Right. But it definitely could be. Could be tonight.

I brought condoms and... Oh, condoms. Wow.

It's like it's pre-9-11.

Wow.

Hypothetically speaking, if this was something that we were to consider

proceeding with... Yeah, how would this shake down?

What would the procedural protocol be, technically? The procedural protocol?

Yeah.

To know. It's what we all... To know. Yeah, just so we could... Yeah.

I mean, that's what we were talking about. Right. I'd just like to recap

really quick, just specifically, how would this work?

Mm-hmm.

We can all be together.

We can watch you. You don't want to do that. No.

We could, obviously, swap.

Swap. Or a little swaparoo. Sometimes it helps to add a neutral element.

Like a referee.

No Pepe, no Tomas. I think I'm with Hawk on this one. No Pepe, no Tomas. I think

us. Yeah. Yeah.

It's whatever we want. Whatever you want. And whenever.

And whenever.

Consider it an open invite.

All right.

But tonight, again, tonight is on the table.

Okay.

Weeknights are tough because of Maggie.

Weekends, also tough. I'm actually praying for a half marathon. You're

inviting us to an orgy.

Google Calendar, for God's sakes. I mean, you can't kind of overthink

everything. You're overthinking this as well. Are you kidding me?

Are you saying I'm not... I'll do this. I'll actually do this. I'll fuck

right... I will schedule it right now. I'll fuck you guys right now. I would

fuck you guys right now. You're just jealous because I'm not going to do it.

I'm getting worried.

Why? Yeah, because... As horny as I am right now, I

just...

We cannot do this from an angry place.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm not angry. I'm actually not angry. This is me happy.

Maybe you just haven't seen it yet.

I don't think you guys are there. No, we're there. We're there. This is good

for us. I can't speak for him, but I'm personally... No, I'm there. I feel very

good about this. I feel there. I would actually do this. I would do this. You

would actually do this? Do you want to do this?

I would do this. We're doing this. You would do this. I think we would do this.

If this connection is not...

Coming from a healthy place. Very healthy. We are in need of expansion. I

don't fuck as much as I would like to fuck, and this is an opportunity to

fuck. In a positive way. That's a good reason. That is a good reason.

Everyone's a little bugged. Yeah.

Feeling good, feeling loose. There could be. Yeah. We haven't eaten too much. We

have a relatively empty stomach. Yeah. Maggie's not home. I'm sorry. I just

mean it's like a good time because it's a free time. It's a good time for us

because we're free. I'd say there's no time like a horror. Yeah.

A hora.

A hora. I'm good with a hora. Yeah. A hora. Definitely a hora.

Yeah.

I don't think this is the night for all of us together.

Right. But we could try to connect separately.

Oh.

Yeah. All right.

Yeah. Okay.

Yo. Yes. How would you feel about spending a little bit of time alone with

me?

How would you feel about that?

You'd feel good about it. You'd feel okay about it. Then I would also feel

good about that as a plan of action I would be willing to proceed with.

Angela?

Knock yourself in.

Yeah, I do.

Yes, that.

Yes. Look at us.

Okay.

Whoo, thank you. Come on. Okay.

Yeah I'm gonna separate but still be together. So some

I'm positive. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So your reservations I would

Maybe prefer not to have pegging performed on my body. Oh, I respect

that. Thank you positive. Otherwise, so, okay. Yes. Yeah

Your bedroom?

No. Not our bedroom. No, no, no. Maggie? No, gross.

Maybe... Your office. My office, we could... I like your office.

Oh, great. You guys could take the arts and crafts room. No, I think it's too

small. I feel like the kitchen is... Maybe the kitchen.

Okay. We'll make that work. We just renovated it. We'll make it work.

Great. Cool.

Grace. Good luck. Enjoy everybody.

Thank you, yes.

See you soon. I feel very good about all this.

Great. Very positive.

Cool. Excellent.

Hello. Thank you. Oh, hello.

Namaste.

Okay.

Okay. Hi. Great.

Joe.

Oh.

Here. Thank you. Great.

Okay.

I meant to do the dishes before you arrived.

Just give me a second. I'm going to wipe the counter off the raw egg. I meant to

do it before you did.

I don't know. I feel like I'm going to go early and my shirt can rip and then

do dish washing really quick. I can do it so fast. You don't have to. No?

Better, right?

No?

Do you want help with that? No, no, no.

Okay.

Fuck me.

You think I need my baby?

Oh, well.

You know me better than that

Do you actually look in the mirror and not know how thick you are? Oh, no.

No, no.

You can't be that out of touch with yourself, are you? Oh, God, no, I know.

I'm a stupid fucking cunt. Whoa.

No, that's just my inner monologue. That's just the way I speak to myself.

It's the voice of my head. It's not, no, it's good.

I'm good.

Holy shit.

Thank you so much for this.

It's already amazing.

Thank you for this.

Jesus Christ, you're awesome.

I wouldn't do that.

Oh, he says.

How do you want to do it?

Oh, how do I?

I want the thing with the

menu would come in handy.

I think the thing one with what you say.

You say.

You take this one. Yeah.

and do the thing that makes penis scream like that?

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay, take off your clothes.

That's Joe's back. That's Joe's back.

He's fine. No, no, no. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine.

He's okay.

I think, I really think he's okay. I think he, yeah, he's fine.

No, no, no.

I just want to go in the hatchet.

Are you going to?

He fell.

He hurt his back. What happened?

He hurt his back. He hurt his back.

Ow, yes, my back. My back. Don't touch me. Go away. Get away from me. Just

fucking let me be. Joe. Let me be.

Don't touch me. Just go away. Go away.

Don't do anything to me. Don't Rolf me.

Don't you dare Rolf me.

Don't do this. Don't do it, man.

Please don't do this. Whatever you're going to do, don't do it.

Oh, God. Don't do this. Please don't do it.

Oh, God. Three.

Oh, fuck you.

Go away.

You're done.

Okay, it takes a second. It didn't help at all. It takes a second. Fuck off.

I think I did it right. Give me some ice. I think I did it right.

Give me some ice.

This is so embarrassing.

We are so fucking embarrassing. I can't believe it. Of course it's your fucking

back. Our entire life is about your fucking back. Just constant fucking

complaining. What are you talking about?

Sorry, my back is an inconvenience to you having a fucking orgy.

It actually is, if you want to know. And I'm not allowed to complain about it.

I'm not allowed to say a fucking thing about it, ever.

Well, you're talking about it right now, so congratulations.

Oh, no. Is it bad? Yes, it's bad.

Look at me.

Do you know your back pain is not about your back?

I think it actually is very much about my back, because it's my back pain.

What are you talking about?

L4, L5, fucking classic.

Your back pain is about everything that you don't say, you know? It's your rage.

You're angry speaking.

What are you talking about? Why are you doing this? We were dancing to Sade 30

seconds ago. He didn't hurt you in there when we were dancing, right? When we

were having a nice time, I was loose.

What the fuck are you smiling at, hawk?

I feel you, man. Do you feel me? Don't try to connect to me, Hawk. Do not try

to connect with me. I don't want it. I've been where you are, Joe.

You've been on your floor and your underpants and your back?

Yeah, I've been on the floor angry and in pain and all of it. Trust me. Oh, my

God. I don't fucking want you to try to in any way emotionally relate to me, you

fucking pervert. We're nothing alike.

How do you know? We're nothing alike.

Also, your name isn't Hawk.

No one's name is Hawk.

You go on and on about radical honesty. Your whole name's a fucking lie, man.

What is your name?

What's your actual name? Tell me what is on your driver's license.

Howard Wilton Kelly.

Howard.

He's Howard.

Your name is Howard.

This whole time, it hasn't been Hawk.

It's been little Howie.

Oh, my God.

That changes everything.

I didn't know we had a Howard in our midst.

I would have been so much nicer to you.

Where did Hawk come from, Howie?

How'd you land on Hawk?

The name I gave myself.

A nickname you gave yourself.

Literally the lamest words that could have come out of your mouth. Oh, my God.

What were you, biking across the playa, Burning Man? You saw... Fucking bird fly

by or something?

No, it's something I did after my wife died.

You asked.

Well, you should bleed with that next time, I guess.

She got cancer.

You don't have to answer his question. You don't have to say anything.

It's a fair question, you know.

How does Howard get to Hawk?

So, for Joe...

After she died, I was doing some things that were pretty suicidally stupid at

work, and I was going to get someone else killed along with me.

And do you know how people say your life flashes before your eyes?

That happened to me, but not my life. It was our life together.

It went by me in this high-speed film.

I kept seeing this woman, this like very gentle, very shy,

sweet girl who like, she thought I hung the moon.

And in the film, she, over and over again, she tried to

open up about her fantasy life to me to, you know,

share this kind of sensual.

adventurous side of herself so that I would enter into it with her. And I

didn't just, you know, resist it.

I got really tight and judgmental and insecure, and I made

her feel so bad about it that somewhere in that movie she just stops

trying to connect with me at all.

I suppressed her, you know? I shut down

her attempt to, like, live more boldly.

Somehow, the universe puts me on this one's couch, and she told me,

you know, you got two choices. Go set yourself on fire, for real, or change

who you are.

Make yourself available.

So I decided I really better change my name if I was going to change my life.

And so I did.

Well, I'm sorry your wife passed away, and I'm glad you found a woman who would

peg you after you didn't let your wife peg you.

Oh? My God. What do you want from me? I'm sorry. That's the moral of that

story, as far as I'm concerned. Oh, my God.

But my boyfriend shares that very difficult and painful story with you,

and you're making fun of him? I'm living a difficult and painful story right now,

in real life.

I really didn't expect this from you.

This is fucking disappointing.

Okay, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no, really. Shut up. Stop being unrespectful

to my boyfriend.

Disrespectful. Don't be disrespectful.

She's saying.

She's saying?

What? No, no.

I was just clarifying. I think they got what I was saying. Are you going to

interrupt? Sorry. Correct my English right now? No, mi amor. I was trying to

clarify. No!

You are always interrupting me. Always correcting me. Disculpe me. Do you know

how bad your Spanish is?

And I never tell you, right? What do I do? I help you. I've been telling you

all night. This is not going to work. It's not the night. They're not ready.

Look at this fucking mess.

And you keep pushing.

You keep pushing because you are always pushing.

And you know why?

Because you don't listen.

Just fucking listen.

Okay, okay.

Peanut.

Peanut. No, no, no. I don't want to talk to you. Just... Shut the fuck up for

once. Shut the fuck up. Really? Really? For once. Shut the fuck up. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Shut the fuck up. I shouldn't have said that. It was terrible timing.

And you are right.

This is the last time that will ever happen.

I totally understand what you're saying.

You've said that before.

No, I never have. I will never do it again.

And I'm sorry for...

yelling at you and i'm i'm sorry this was too much no no no no don't be sorry

i'm sorry joe i'm sorry i'm sorry it was a joke don't apologize don't anybody

apologize i was sorry i'm sorry i yell at you i'm sorry at you don't you don't

have to be horrible we don't have to be sorry we

are sorry okay we're a disaster we couldn't even pull off an orgy okay we

are dead inside so i apologize for that oh no don't worry about that you're

definitely not that you wanted to fuck this over it just wasn't the right night

but what i don't understand is how you can even have sex with each other

because you are so mean to each other

because

You do have sex with each other, right?

When was the last time you two had sex?

A year ago.

Sorry, I thought you said a year.

You did say a year? A year?

A year ago.

Oh my God, no wonder why you are so awkward.

And horny. And weird.

Do you know why you don't have sex? Because of him.

It's your fault. What?

It's not my fault. Of course it's your fault. We don't have sex because she

won't have sex with me. That's why.

You won't have sex with me. You don't try. It's because I stop trying because

how many times can I try before I'm just torturing myself?

It's humiliating. I'm being humiliated. Am I not worth just a little bit more

effort than that? Could you maybe be trying a little bit harder? How much

effort do I need to put into having sex with a woman who's supposed to want to

have sex with me? Why should that take so much effort?

You're supposed to be attracted to me. You're my wife. What are you talking

about? Well, you know what? You don't want to do anything, okay? So that's

where I'm starting, okay? It's not very attractive to be with someone who's just

fucking miserable.

So because you're miserable, then I'm miserable. You're miserable, too. So

congratulations. I guess we're both miserable. We're even, okay? You've

nothing to be upset about.

Angela, would you fuck yourself?

What?

Would you have sex with yourself?

Would you?

Fuck yourself.

All I do is fuck myself.

I'm the only person who fucks me currently, so yes.

Do you even remember a time when you were not miserable?

What's the difference?

Yeah, I do.

How did you two meet?

Who cares?

at this point?

I'll tell you.

All right.

I was on a

very bad date at this dive bar where Joe was playing with his

band.

And he was flirting with me the entire show from the stage, making me laugh.

And so I made my date drop me off.

And I sprinted back to the bar so I could see if I could catch Joe. And I

did, but I don't think you ever realized that I ran 11 blocks

that night. Did you know that?

I didn't know that.

I thought you were just a bizarrely sweaty person.

Maybe you had eaten some bad shrimp or something.

And we had sex all the time. We actually had great sex. It was great. It was

really fun.

We were best friends.

That is true.

And then you just decided to be miserable.

Are you kidding me right now?

Are you fucking for real?

I decided to become miserable?

Do you actually not understand how I feel at all?

Do you not get it?

I'm a failure, Angela. I live in my parents' apartment.

They're humiliating. I teach at a bad school.

I put the kids to play the oboe. I don't give a fuck about it at all. And nothing

is going to change.

anytime soon. So this is my life. So I'm miserable.

Yes. Why can't you just let me be miserable?

Why can't you just accept that I am not happy and just let me be not happy?

I'm sorry that your band didn't work out, Joe.

I'm really sorry. You still teach music every single day. You get to live in a

beautiful home. You have a kid who fucking worships you. You have a life

that I think many people would kill for. But you've just decided to make the

choice to not get over your bullshit and to just be miserable.

You won't even fucking touch the piano that you used to love. And we all have

to tiptoe around it. You're just like a sad, wounded puppy. Oh, fuck off, Hawk.

Fuck off.

I am the one who gave everything up. You did that. There's one reason that you're

not doing what you are not doing, and that is because you are not doing it.

You quit.

You gave up.

Can I ask you a question? For real. What do you do all day?

Maggie goes to school. I go to work. You go fucking insane in this apartment.

I don't know what the fuck you're doing. You're buying fucking lamps and pillows

and shit. And then you try to just fucking control every...

aspect of my life when i get home at the end of every fucking day it's it's it's

i what are you doing here what are you fucking doing fuck me yeah fuck me fuck

you and i am not trying to control you i am not controlling you don't let me do

anything you don't let me get a fucking cat you i don't like cats there you go

congratulations i wanted one fucking thing do you see how you talk to each

other do you see how you keep blaming each other for your unhappiness

You made these choices.

They're your choices.

So much resentment.

So much.

Why are you in this marriage?

We have a daughter. Maggie. Great.

That's going to be really, really great for her.

Because you think she doesn't notice, right? She doesn't feel this.

You prefer to see growth up marinating in this horrible anxiety every day.

What's better, to have happy parents who are separate or to have very miserable

parents that stay together for their children?

I think we only get a few chances for meaningful

relationships in life.

Usually we move to different people.

Sometimes we can have a new relationship with the same person.

It's up to you.

But I think this relationship is over.

Yeah.

We really just wanted to see the apartment, you know.

Maybe fuck a little.

Sorry to lay you down.

Maybe next time.

Can I have my casserole back, please? Yeah.

Here, I'm going to... Let me rinse it out for you.

Did they leave

Weird

I'm

gonna clean up tomorrow

We have that place in Tahoe in August.

Maggie loves it up there. I don't know what to do about that.

I guess we'll figure it out.

Yeah.

How's your back?

It's better, actually.

I'm glad.

I am so tired.

Me too.

I'm going to go to bed.

Should I sleep in my office, I guess?

at the fire you place the flowers in the

vase that you bought today

staring at the fire

Because of it.

Because of you.

And I'll light the fire.

And you place the flowers in the vase that you bought.