All language subtitles for Benidorm Is Murder s01e03 Henidorm.eng

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

WOMEN SQUEAL
AND LAUGH

BRIDE-TO-BE SCREAMS
Oh, my God!

WOMAN: She's getting marriiiiiied!

Go on, Mam!
LAUGHTER

I love it!
Oh, it's great!

LAUGHTER

FROM DANCE FLOOR: Great, isn't it?'

It is an emergency, actually. Hi!

Hiya! Hi, everyone.
MUSIC FADES

What is she doing?
LAUGHTER FROM MICROPHONE

I don't know.
Aw.

I just wanted
to take this opportunity

to give some love
to the bride, Leona!

LEONA SQUEALS,
THEY CHUCKLE

There she is. Our little mouse.
Our shy girl.

Who'd have thought she'd be
the first one getting married, eh?

Aw, she's my beautiful girl.
Aw!

Well, you would say that, Tania.
You're her mam.

Ah, no, you've done a lovely job

organising this weekend with,
like, no money.

Fair play to you.

But I wouldn't be doing my job
as maid of honour

if I didn't do something amazing
for little Leona.

LEONA CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY

I've got a big surprise
for you guys!

SHE LAUGHS MANIACALLY

She brought a laptop.

SHE EXHALES DEEPLY

Leona, we've been best friends
since we were four.

We've always been there
for each other. Always.

Ma'am, I need to put the music
back on.

When I'm finished!

And that's why I wanted
to do something special for you

for your hen do.

And what is more special...

SHE INHALES
...than a luxury villa?

MAID OF HONOUR SHRIEKS,
LAUGHS

Oh! Now, I know that most of you
won't have seen

anything like this before.

It's Love Island amazing.

But it's here, in Benidorm,
only 15 minutes away.

I've dropped a pin
in the WhatsApp group, and, erm...

I say let's head there now.

No! No. No. No!

What's the matter?

No, Megan. This is my thing.

I organised this weekend
for my girl.

Yeah! Like you organised
the Hotel Sal y Salsa

that's three stars on Tripadvisor.

Bleurgh!
SHE LAUGHS

You'll probably all be getting
chlamydia off the sheets. Jesus.

Guys, this place has
an electric fire pit.

We don't need nothing else.

We've got music and wine...
Mm-hm.

...and each other.
Yeah.

And wine.

Erm, can somebody ask the DJ
to put the music back on?

Leona.

Have I not always looked after you?

No. You've only ever been
a nasty little bitch, so...

Mam! Mam.

WOMAN: Oh, God, this is just awful.
Breathe.

SHE INHALES DEEPLY
Breathe.

I have been nothing but nice
to all of you this weekend.

I have been so respectful
to you, Tania...

even though you went to jail.

And I haven't said anything
about you, Cora,

and we both know I could.

And, Chloe, I could have gone on

about how pathetic and weird
you've been

for the last two years,
and I haven't, because I'm nice.

Thanks for that (!)

Are you honestly not coming?

Fine, I'm gonna go on my own.

Argh!

FEEDBACK WHINES
Stay here in this hole!

Get out of my way, jailbird!
Oh...

Oh, wagon.
Shall I go...?

No. Come back here.
We're enjoying our night.

Forget about her. Drinks, come on.

Get that music on.
Yeah.

She's a lunatic.

MUSIC RESUMES
Come on, let's dance!

Hola?

Hola?

SHAKILY: Ay, dios mio!

Now why would you go
and do something like that?

You need to stop running this pub
like it's your own living room.

I don't!
You've taken your shoes off.

I get hot feet.

Think it's fungal.

PHONE CHIMES
AND BUZZES

"Need your help."

"Please."

Estupendo! Another case!

Nah, I'm done with all that.

I'm sorry, but doing nothing
is not an option.

By the third case,

the police have come to rely on
their consulting detectives.

You remember
I made you watch episode three

of Hetty Wainthropp Investigates.

Give me my phone.

It's OK, I'll reply.

"Be right there."

Kiss or no kiss? I think kiss.

No kiss, and I'm not going.

SHE SIGHS

I looked into your alcohol licence.

Maria was right. You ARE dodgy.

Well, how's that?
It expired two years ago.

It's not been two years.

No, it's been
two years and five months.

They could close your pub down
overnight and give you a huge fine

and ban you from having a licence
in Spain ever again.

Really?
Really. But Maria can protect you.

All you have to do is
make yourself indispensable to her.

Well?

I'm gonna need my shoes.

Ugh!

Lost your balloon, little man?

IN SPANISH:

You should see the hot tub.
It's bigger than my apartment.

So, what do we know?

Victim is Megan Heaney, 35.
Maid of honour on a hen party.

Strangled with a sash.

She left the bar alone on
Carrer Guevara at around midnight.

She said she was coming here.

Current thinking is she might have
met someone or was followed.

You don't think
it was one of the other hens?

I've seen enough hen parties
in my pub

to know they can be a toxic mix
of old beef and lady petrol.

What?
No idea.

I mean, you have these people
who have known each other for years,

under all the pressure of a wedding,
jacked up on white wine...

I see. Please explain more to me

about how
female friendships work (!)

Well, either way,
it's obvious that Megan was killed

in a non-premeditated attack
by someone she knew,

who probably escaped
out the patio doors.

Simple. I'd have this solved
by dinner time.

Which, for British people,
is about 4:30.

Como sabe todo eso?
How do you know that?

Look alive, Jesus.
The clues are all there.

There's no sign of a forced entry,
two glasses of Champagne.

Megan obviously knew
whoever was in here.

Now, if you're planning on killing
someone, you take a weapon with you.

But in this case, the killer
used whatever came to hand,

and that was the sash, yeah?

So a crime of passion.

Now, once the killer realises
what they've done, they panic,

leg it out the patio doors
at the back here,

but in their haste, they knock
the vase off the thingmajig,

causing it to fall to the floor
and break.

Anything else?

Yeah, two things.

There's a partial shoe print
by the front door.

Was the victim wearing trainers?
No, they were heels.

So it's not Megan's.

And the second thing?

Yeah, don't ever
call me English again.

Jesus, the victim's boyfriend
is arriving at the airport soon.

Please can you go and meet him?

Oh, no, please. You know
I'm not good with sad people.

Thank you, Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus.

Do you really think
it was one of her friends?

I told you, old beef.

We just have to work out
which hen had those trainers,

and chances are
we've got our killer.

Easy-peasy.

Maybe not that easy-peasy.

I'm sorry about your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Please accompany me.

Please... come with me.

She's dead. I'm sorry. Let's go.

Aw, that's just feckin' awful.

Can't believe she's gone.
I was talking about my hangover.

Yeah, obviously.

I think we should all pray.

Ah, come on, now, Cora,
it's not that bad.

OK, guaranteed hangover cure -

extra spicy bloody Mary with an egg.

THEY GAG

So... an Irish bar.

Well, we all just wanted
to be somewhere we felt safe.

We hear you're some kind
of special investigators?

No...
Yes! Do you know Midsomer Murders?

We're like Barnaby and Troy -

the original line-up
before they ruined it.

We are simply trying
to help the Spanish police

find out who did this.

And we really appreciate it,
cos we all know the Spanish police

are gonna want to be
fingering someone for this.

Well, I'm worried that they're gonna
want to finger one of us.

Jesus, Cora,
can you stop saying "fingering"?

I think you'll be fine.

We just need to establish

what you did last night
after you left the bar.

Oh, some of it went into my hair.
SHE GROANS

We all just...
went back to the hotel.

Together?

Yes.
No.

CHLOE SIGHS
Me and Leona went back together.

What time?

Er, it was two.
I'd say around two. Two, yeah.

Mm-hm.
And I just went home to bed.

Straight home?
Yes. No.

I went for a walk on the beach,
and then I went home to bed.

Beddy-byes.

At what time?

About one? It was definitely one.

And yourself?

No idea. It's just blank.

I woke up this morning,
my back's killing me,

and I'm missing 200 euro.

And I don't think
I'm never gonna drink again.

Oh, God.
SHE RETCHES

They're all liars, Dennis.

You know how I know
that they are lying?

They said they left the bar
at 2am...

But the bar closes at one.
Can you just let me have my moment?

Sorry, OK, go on.
And why's Cora lying?

No, you're just gonna jump in
and steal my thunder again.

I won't, I promise!

OK, Cora said she was walking
on the beach at 1am...

But the beach closes at midnight.
Dennis!

LAUGHING: Sorry.
Right, so, three of them are lying.

What about the other one?

The one with the sick in her hair?
Yeah.

Says she can't remember a thing.
So, what do we do, Burnaby?

Barnaby. It's Barnaby.

Why would you get Midsomer Murders
wrong like that? Go on, go on.

Well, if I was leading the case,

I would speak
to the victim's boyfriend.

You'd question the man

who was a thousand miles away
at the time the murder happened?

Yeah. We need him to dish the dirt
on all the hens.

Who hated Megan, and why?
Old beef.

Stop saying that. It's weird.

She was, like,
the most beautiful woman I ever met.

Paul, we need your help.

We need you to be
our character witness.

Sorry, I...

This has broken me so...

I can't even think straight.

Cheesy chips?
Gracias.

Look, I'm sorry
to have to tell you this,

but we think one of the hens
might have been responsible

for killing Megan.

What? No. They're like sisters.

From experience, let me tell you

there were plenty of times
I could have killed my sister.

One time, for no reason,
she told our father I slept over

at the home of Alvaro Fernandez
when his parents were out of town...

Rosa.
OK.

Can you think of any reason why
Leona might have been mad at Megan?

I guess Leona's always sort of been
in Megan's shadow.

Megan was always the popular one...

...always had the nice clothes,
the nice car.

You think she was jealous?
Maybe.

I suppose when Megan told Leona
about the villa,

it could have, you know...

Crystallised those feelings?
No, just made them real.

Megan said something to Tania
about her going to jail.

Oh, yeah. For, like, two weeks.
She hit a man with a shoe.

A shoe?
His shoe.

I don't think
she'd normally have gone to jail,

but she called the judge an eejit.

So you'd say Tania had a temper?

Well, you know
what you women can get like.

No. Please, tell me.
What about Cora?

Cora? Cora didn't kill Megan.
She's basically a nun.

You give someone enough wine...

Trust me, Cora's only drinking wine
when it's with a little wafer.

I'm talking about communion.
So she's pious.

No, just really religious.

And Chloe?

Chloe...
Paul, my darling. How are you?

LEONA: So sorry, darling.
It's awful, isn't it?

Oh, my God.
Look at him, he's wasting away.

You need to eat something.
I know.

How was your flight, love?

I think everyone's in shock.
INDISTINCT CHATTER

INAUDIBLE

ROSA: Cora.
Uptight and religious.

Leona.

Mousy best friend.

Tania.

Angry mother.

Can't say as I agree
with you reducing these women

to soundbites, Dennis.

Women are a complex symphony
of unique traits,

and it's entirely wrong
to make crass generalisations.

They get tetchy if you do that.

I feel so seen (!)

Looking at her socials...

...I think you've got her all wrong,
you know.

She had hobbies, loved animals.

Look... Wait, wait, wait, go back.
That one of them in the pub garden.

Yeah, them two at the back.

That's Paul and Chloe.

They used to be together.

Chloe... the ex-girlfriend.

SNIFFLING

LEONA: Can't take lying any more.
I need to tell someone.

TANIA: Don't be saying things
like that, Leona.

TEARFULLY: They're gonna find out.

You wanna go to jail, do you?

You know what life is like inside?
It's hell.

Mam, you went to an open prison
for ten days.

I've been to Center Parcs
for longer.

Only you probably played
more pickleball.

Well, you'd be going to
the other kind of prison, anyways.

The kind full of Hairy Marys
that'll want their way with you.

LEONA WHIMPERS

Well, maybe we could just
tell Auntie Cora. No!

I do not need my sister judging me
more than she already does.

Listen to me.

If you know what's good for you,
you'll keep your mouth shut.

OK?
OK.

OK! Yeah, OK.

LEONA SOBS

Can you get married in prison?

Oh, fuck.

ROSA: Why are you rushing?
DENNIS: Maria just texted me.

Forensics are running tests
on the hens' shoes,

trying to find a match
for that print.

OK. So, why are you rushing?
Because whoever left that shoe print

is probably the killer,
and I want to solve it first.

BELLS TOLL
IN DISTANCE

DENNIS CLEARS THROAT

I lit a candle.

Megan loved candles.

It's what she would have wanted.
You got five minutes?

Me and Chloe were together.

And then about two years ago,
Megan and I started to fall in love,

and, well...
I had to follow my heart.

Megan inspired me to always be
the best version of myself...

and to start weight loss jabs.

That's love (!)
How did Chloe take it?

She turned into a bit of a looper
right after I left,

but I don't know...

A looper?
Yeah. Crazy, like.

She cut up all my good pants.

And then Chloe... Erm...

She sent some weird,
threatening messages to Megan...

...that kind of thing.

You think she wanted to hurt Megan?

HE SIGHS
I don't know. Maybe.

Megan thought
that Chloe coming on the hen do

meant she was really over it.

I thought so too.

Do you remember how earlier,

we were asking about reasons
why people might want to hurt Megan?

You didn't think of leading
with that one? Dennis.

Well, it could have saved us
some time.

Sorry. I'm just not thinking right.

Thanks again, Paul.
You go and get some rest.

What?

I think we should go and speak
to Chloe, don't you?

Chloe was blind drunk last night.
That could have been just an act.

A distraction to confuse everyone.

You heard him.
She turned into a looper.

INAUDIBLE

I think I should talk to Chloe
alone, entre mujeres.

I know what it's like
to have your heart broken.

You're assuming I don't.
By a man.

You're assuming I don't.

Tom Boyd. Scored an own goal
against Brazil in the World Cup.

You're not ready to interview
on your own.

You wanna go and talk
to the hungover woman

about the most painful time
of her life?

The important thing
about interviewing someone

is to listen, OK?

You give them space.

Dennis, please.
This is not my first rodeo.

My first boyfriend,
Pedro Garcia Hernandez,

left me for my best friend, Elena.

I was 16, and I thought
we'd be together forever.

I even designed my wedding dress.
It had a long tail, a lace back.

I never spoke to Elena again,

but I did look at
her wedding pictures on Instagram,

and it rained,
and she looked like a wet cow,

so I'm thinking that's karma.

How are you feeling?

Still bad. I'm a mess, Rosa.

Ugh, and I'm still covered
in little willies.

I think you should eat something.

No. I can't ever eat again. Or move.

It's fine. I live on this sofa now.

OK, now I'm going to stop talking

and give you space
to tell your story.

Well, it sounds a lot more romantic
to have your heart broken

by a Pedro Garcia Hernandez
than a Paul Murphy.

Mm, depends on your type.

I shouldn't have come out here.

I think you were very brave
and strong.

No, I was stupid.

I hated Megan.

And I still love Paul.

I guess that makes me a suspect
or something, does it?

It would help
if you can remember anything

after you left the pub last night.

I guess I fell over,
cos my back is killing me.

Let me see.

Oh. OK.

I think I know
what you did last night.

DENNIS PUFFS LIPS

HE CHUCKLES

Jesus! I found
the tattoo parlour that did it.

The guy said Chloe came in
just after 1am,

and the tattoo took four hours.

She's got an alibi.
Yeah.

Well, that accounts for one of them.

But the other three?

I know someone
that might be able to help us.

Don't say Jackie.

SHE PUFFS

Hi, Jackie.
Hi.

Don't sit on my scoot-mobile.

Do you want a watch?
I think all men should have a watch.

Rulox?
Bulgarian Rolex.

They all come from the same factory.

We're looking for some information.
About the Irish woman.

We need to establish

what her friends did last night
after she left them.

Do you know anything?
No.

Well, there's five minutes
I'll never get back.

But I do know something
that happened before.

I saw the woman
with too much make-up... Megan.

OK. ..with the little woman
with the bad clothes.

Cora.

OK, and they were arguing.

And then the little woman
with the bad clothes

tried to hit the woman
with too much make-up.

Interesting.

Do you know what
they were arguing about? No.

OK, thanks, Jackie. I owe you one.

Owe me what?

I don't know. A drink?

OK. When?

Not sure.

Mm, maybe it's better
to have the cash.

I'll bring it to you.

OK. When?

Just walk away. Thanks very much.

The waiter's come in, put it down.
She's looking very pensive.

That drink is bigger than her head.

OK, here's the play - we force Cora
into telling us the truth.

I will be good cop.
"Could I get you a cup of tea?"

You will be bad cop.

"Drink up, you tart. You're nicked."

Cora's a devout Catholic.

If there's one thing she can handle,
it's living with guilt.

You know, you're different
when you're doing this,

when you're solving crime.

Why, what am I like
the rest of the time?

Lazy, impatient, depressed.

I'm not depressed!
It's OK cos you're doing this now.

This is your happy pill.

Well, I'm only doing this
until I can sort my licence out.

You cannot sort your licence out.

If you apply for a new one,

they will realise
you haven't had one for two years,

and the same thing will happen -

you'll get a big fine.
HE SIGHS

She's moving.

This is so cool.

You're doing it all wrong.
You're way too close.

So, what do I do with the pub, then?

I mean, I can't moonlight
with the Spanish police forever.

You won't need to.

Just long enough so that I can apply
for an alcohol licence.

You?
Yeah. I can be the licencee.

And no-one needs to know you've been
breaking the law for two years.

How long will that take?
A few months.

You just need to make me
the bar manager. What?

I also looked
at your bank statements.

I think you need an accountant.

I'm not wasting money
on an accountant.

My father says a good accountant
actually saves you money.

What does your father do?
He's an accountant.

She's a dark horse.

You keep making that joke.
I don't know who Black Beauty is.

No, Auntie Cora. She's just gone
into that strip club.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

No, no, no, no!

What are you doing here?

Well, funny cos that's exactly
what I was gonna ask you.

I never wanted to come here.
It was all Tania.

I had three...
what they call Jagerbombs.

I really wasn't myself.

Did something happen in here?

Tania paid for me to have
a private dance with Bernardo.

He's just like a big conker.

SHE SIGHS

Me and Sean have been together
for 20 years.

I believe in the sanctity
of marriage...

...but, God, help me,
I've never met a man like him.

There was so much oil.
Has this got anything to do with

the argument you had with Megan
on the beach yesterday?

How do you know about that?

SHE SIGHS
Megan saw us.

Having a private dance
with Bernardo?

If only it was just that.

Bernardo started getting fresh
with me.

I didn't stop him.

There really was so much oil.

Cora, did you have sex
with Bernardo?

In the disabled toilet.

I just remember feeling so grateful
that I'd shaved my legs.

But then, when after we came out,
Megan was standing there.

She laughed. So cold, like.

What did she say?

She threatened to tell everyone.

Sean, everyone at Rock Choir.

Even Father Brian.

Although he's in no position
to judge.

So, why come back here, Cora?

It's my penance.

I took confession today,
and Father said I needed

to face the man I sinned with
and renounce him.

At least,
I think that's what he said.

His English was terrible.

Cora where did you go last night
after you left the bar?

Straight back to the hotel, I swear.

You never went to that villa?

As I sit before you, Dennis,

I might be a wanton harlot,
but I'm no murderer.

You like drinks?
Good Lord.

HE MOUTHS

It's past your dinner time, Dennis.
Have you solved the case yet?

I've entirely assimilated
with Spanish culture, Maria.

I don't have my tea
until at least 6:30.

Well, I think
you can probably relax.

We matched the shoe print.

Really?
They've matched the shoe print.

Mierda! Who to?
Who to?

'Leona.'
Leona.

No way.
That's an interesting development.

We're trying to bring her in
for questioning,

but we can't locate her.

'Any idea where she might be?'

Absolutely no idea, no.
'OK.'

If you see her, call straightaway.

Totally, yeah.
I'll definitely do that.

You look like
you could use another drink.

So, you leave the bar,
and you go to the villa.

LEONA SNIFFLES
Yeah. I knocked on the door,

and when no-one answered,
I tried the handle, and it was open.

And when was this?

SHE SNIFFLES
Erm, it was about half one.

Why did you go there?

I was angry.
I wanted to tell her I'd had enough.

Megan was always doing stuff like
this, making everything about her.

Every wedding, every birthday.

She came to my Uncle Martin's
funeral in a wheelchair

cos she had shin splints, OK?

I just wanted this weekend
to be about me.

SHE SNIFFLES

TEARFULLY: That was my hat.

LEONA SOBS

She gave me that hat.

What did you do
when you got to the villa?

SHE SNIFFLES

Went in. The door wasn't locked.

There was music playing.

I heard a smash.

I called out, but when no-one
answered, I went further in,

and that's when I saw her
on the sofa.

She was already dead?
Yeah.

And then I just lost my head, like.
I was screaming.

And then I saw someone, like,
a person, flash past the window.

And then I just legged it,
straight back to the hotel.

You find your friend dead,
and you don't call anyone?

Mam said not to trust the police.
She said they'd blame me.

TANIA: They WILL blame you.

SOBBING: Mam!
What are you doing, Leona?

What did I say?
You won't last five minutes in jail.

The Wi-Fi's awful.
Yeah, well, that's where I'm going.

Some fella from the guards
took my shoes earlier.

They know something.

I thought you were some sort
of a special investigator?

Tell me you've got something.

Tell me you're not gonna let my
baby girl take the blame for this.

LEONA WHIMPERS,
HE SIGHS

At least you tried.

You're just a waste of skin!
HE EXHALES

Does this feel right to you?

She lied.
Her prints are at the scene.

Thanks, anyway. You were right
about it being one of the hens.

Megan was always doing this,
making everything about her.

I need to go back to the villa.
Why?

What does a hen party mean to you?

Like, women shouting really loud
or crying.

Yeah, and things like this.
Hen dos are all about this.

Let me show you something.

Hen parties are meant to be
all about fun, right?

But this place doesn't say fun.
This place is... romantic.

Heart-shaped balloons,
Champagne glasses.

Not a penis in sight.

Megan made out
she'd hired this place

as some grand gesture for a friend.

But I think Leona was right
all along -

this was just another way for Megan
to make this weekend all about her.

METALLIC CLATTERING

Some people might look at this villa
and think, "Wow."

But you were right, Leona.

Megan planned to use this place
as a setting to steal your thunder,

like she had done so many times
in the past,

but this time... with a proposal.

Are you saying she wanted one of us
to propose to her?

No, Chloe. That...
That would be ridiculous.

Paul was gonna do the proposing.

PAUL SCOFFS

I... I wasn't even here.

Actually, Paul, I think you were.

The night Megan died, you were
waiting for her up in this villa.

Waiting for Megan to come back
with the girls.

They would come in
to find you holding the balloon,

which you would pop, pick up
the ring and get down on one knee.

Then there would be this beautiful
moment that was all about Megan.

THEY SCREAM

This has made
the whole weekend magical.

ALL: Awwwwww!

But the girls refused
to come back with her,

ruining her special moment.

Argh! It's off. We're not doing it.

I'm betting a rock like that
must have set you a back

a chunk of change.

So, when she called it off,

that must have been upsetting
for you.

But... why can't we just
get engaged anyway, for us?

Ha! For us!

What's the point?!

You'd done so much for Megan.

You'd left Chloe for her.
You'd lost a few stone.

And then she calls
the whole thing off

just because
you don't have an audience.

Yeah, your man Jesus there
picked me up from the airport.

But that doesn't mean
that's when you landed.

You get a phone call
telling you your girlfriend's dead,

you rush to get
the first flight to Spain,

but not before...
you pack a massive bag?

Full of stuff for the beach.
Tell me, Paul,

how much swimming were you planning
on doing on this trip?

I spoke to the airline.
We know you were on a plane

24 hours before Jesus picked you up
at the airport.

I just snapped.

I wasn't thinking.

You were thinking enough to delete
all the messages from Megan's phone

that would have told us
you were already here.

Before you escaped out
the patio doors when Leona arrived,

breaking the ornament.

That was the smash you heard.

And you were thinking enough
to come back later, pack your bag

and call a cab
to take you to the airport

and wait for a call.

Oh, God. I just don't believe it.

OK, er,
I'll get on the first flight I can.

I'm not a bad guy. I'm...

I'm the victim here. She bullied me.

She bullied me too!

That doesn't give you the right
to kill her, you stupid prick!

JESUS: Ow! Ah! Stop!
GRUNTING

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
LEONA SIGHS

There's a special place in hell
for you, Paul Murphy.

TANIA: You're a piece of shite!

I hope the judge goes down on you
like a tonne of bricks.

"Comes down on you", Cora. Jesus!

Ah!

You're a good man.

HE CLEARS THROAT
Thanks.

Oh, mind the tat.
Oh, sorry, sorry.

MARIA: Nice work.

How are you?
Starving. Haven't had my tea yet.

That was your cue to buy me dinner.

Dennis, you have a tiny penis.

I just can't believe
it was actually Paul.

They should lock him up
and throw away the key.

Where's Leona? Where's Leona?
Ah, there you are.

Darling, I'm so sorry.
Let's get you home.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

I miss my friends.

Invite them out.

No. I told everyone
I have this great acting job.

Well, you do.

You're playing the part of a loyal
sidekick to a genius detective.

Dennis, please. I work in a pub.

Well, that's not true either.

You don't just work in a pub.

You're the manager of a pub.

Seriously?

If it's what it takes
to keep the place open.

I mean, obviously,
you're manager in name only.

You have no actual authority.

Shut up or I'll fire you.

SHE LAUGHS

Dennis, what do you think
about us serving smoothies?

HE CHUCKLES

No.

Let's hear it for our Bingo Queen!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Bingo can be brutal.

No-one's gonna mess
with the Bingo Queen.

I keep my friends close
but my enemies closer.

I need your help.

They're gonna kill me.

Where shall we start?

I think we should start with them.
Who are you?

Police. If I were police,
I'd look into the Italians.

Valentina De Rossi.

Dennis, you must come.

It's the ticket that wins,
not the player.

You broke the golden rule -
always pay for your own ticket.

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