Original subtitles

Up and at 'em, Marlene. Whaa...?

We need your help on a five-man operation.

Okay, okay. 15 more minutes...

Thanks for your assistance, Marlene.

My theory is confirmed.

Sewer sludge is indeed quite gross.

I could've told you that!

We all could've, Kowalski likes to crunch the data for himself.

But next time, maybe wake up somebody else. Like Maurice or Joey,

or, I don't know, how about Burt? Cos he's, you know, a he!

I have an unfailing sense

for matching a mission with the perfect personnel.

You were the right guy for the job.

"Guy"? I am not...

Okay, you know what? You know what, good night.

Wait. You want me to judge what?

A burping contest. We need someone fair and impartial.

And I was the right "guy" for the job, I... Yeah! Fire when ready!

Okay, well, that was pretty disgusting.

Good ol' trout innards marinated in cod innards. Never fails.

I just ate a can of kippers, three years past expiration date!

Stop, stop, stop!

How dare you have a contest of stinky burps without the king.

My royal burps have brought down entire dynasties!

Oh, really?

Get a whiff of this!

I can't... I can't...

...three, four, five, six...

"Yo, how many school groups we got today?

Three.

...four, five, six...

"What time you takin' lunch?" One.

...two, three, four...

"One more thing..."

...two, three... Gah, you're making me lose count of the chlorine.

"How many you supposed to throw?" No more than eight. Where was I?

"I think maybe four."

Five, six...

Wow, what a disgusting night.

Crescent wrench...

Needlenose...

Hey, guys. Great balls of fire!

You will never believe this...

Hello! I'm beautiful... I mean you're beu... I mean you're new here!

Kowalski! Intel me about her.

There is only one explanation for this.

Our zoo is now home to an Arctic Mink. What?

This is a rare opportunity to study an endangered species.

Wait, wait, wait! Wait! What are you...?

Subject speaks in single syllables.

That is absolutely...

Subject's speech is already progressing. Fascinating.

I'm Arlene! Arlene.

Arlene! Arlene!

Even her name's adorable. Skipper?

She said my name!

You seem a bit... gobsmacked.

Isn't Private weird?

Not too close now, Skipper! I have barely begun my research.

Are you guys serious? Do you really think I'm...

Thank you so much.

I thought I was having a bad fur day

but now I realise how utterly impossible that would be, and, er...

Oh, snap. Who is the new snow bunny? Arlene. She's a rare Arctic Mink.

Okay, whoa... And I saw her first.

She is a rare breed. Just like myself.

We are a match made in the heavens.

Maurice! Maurice! What?

Play the royal courtship music,

for the sky spirits have sent me a queen!

What?! Monosyllabic regression.

Queen?! Right away, your majesty!

Queen? Okay, guys, big mistake here! Big mistake here!

You're pretty when you're mad.

An agitated Arctic Mink

is likely to secrete a putrid fluid from its scent gland and...

You love it. Oh, my. See ya!

The art of the manly dance overwhelms her.

The bait is set.

Now, my lovely, do you see anything to your liking?

I can get a nice deal. They know me here.

It's a little early for crown shopping,

I've been trying to explain...

Ooh... She's a gabby one. I am really Marl... That one's nice.

Huh?

No. I don't like the cut of the palm frond

and an inclusion in the betelnut.

The queen's crown must be perfect! But not more perfect than mine.

Flawless.

Mort! No ogling the feet!

Now. How'd you like a tour of my plastic volcano?

Skipper?

Oh! Oh, hey! Hey, Arlene! I was just out for a...

Okay, okay. So I'm Arlene.

Just for grins.

And I'm so much different than Marlene, I guess, huh?

Well... Yeah!

Okay, okay, because I look different?

You smell different, too. Fresh, clean...

Mm-hmm. Chloriney?

What?

Unexpected. The putrid fluid secreted by the subject

is indeed chloriney.

How dare they sniff my queen! Do they not know the penalty?

Maurice, tell to me the penalty. Is very bad, yes?

I don't think there is a penalty.

Okay, you work on that. I'll step up my woo.

Picnic basket? Better! Scientific field kit!

Kowalski, you're a logical guy. Surely you must know who I am.

I will soon.

Now, would you prefer to start with the reflex test or saliva analysis?

It's really hard to woo with thorns in my lips and gums.

I'm just going to go home now.

Arlene... Of all the silly, shallow... ooh!

It's not a bad look.

Knockedy knock, knock, knock.

Skipper, did you finally figure it out?

That you're bunking with Marlene? Well, it was in Kowalski's report.

Where is Marlene, by the way?

Does this give you a clue?

No... How could I have been so blind?

I know, right?

Arlene did something horrible to Marlene.

You think so?

No-one's seen Marlene since Arlene arrived.

Maybe it's Marlene who's the endangered species.

Rico! Knock it off, this is serious! Sorry.

Okay. Okay, first Skipper runs out of here,

ranting about I don't know what. And now, hm, this...

Milady, your chariot awaits.

It's a throne.

Yes, but when Maurice carries it on his back, it's kind of a chariot.

Yeah, a chair-ee-ot.

Freeze!

Secure the exits!

Maurice, what is happening?

I'll ask the questions, Ringtail. What did you do with Marlene?

What? What are you talking about?

Look, Arlene, if that really is your name...

I'm Marlene! My pool had too much chlorine! It bleached my fur!

I tried to tell you!

What kind of fool do you take me for?

You'll have to narrow the options down a little.

This is crazy! I'm telling the truth!

Oh, we'll get to the truth all right. Our way. Kowalski!

Setting device on super tickle.

I don't get it. What?

Er, any of it.

They seem to think Arlene did something nasty to Marlene

and now she's a fugitive.

In that case, maybe we need to find a queen that's less,

you know, homey-cidal.

Help!

Nice work. We got her surrounded.

We know you're in there, Arlene.

And by the way, you actually fell for my tongue tied routine.

I was just play acting.

That was acting? Yeah. I'm a good actor. Okay?

Buttermilk biscuits! Add grand theft auto to the rap sheet!

Gotcha!

Have fun, Arlene... in the clutches of justice.

Whose name is Alice.

I can think of no harsher punishment.

Hair dye... Hair dye...

Chestnut... close enough.

There. It's like this whole over chlorination thing never happened.

Come on, how could you guys not recognise me?

Poor Marlene. She's been brainwashed. Best to just humor her.

Okay, I am serious!

Arlene. She was as cold as she was hot!

Yoo-hooooo! King Julien!