Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

PREPARE FOR TRANSMISSION.

INITIATING ALIGNMENT OF COBRA SATELLITE.

[ BEEPING ]

ALIGNMENT COMPLETE.

TRANSMIT MASTER CODE...

NOW.

[ BEEPING ]

STAGE ONE COMPLETE.

TELEMETRY MESSAGE RECORDED AND PROCESSED.

NOW FOR STAGE TWO.

TRANSFER TELEMETRY DATA INTO THE MISSILE, AND VOILà!

INSTANT ANTI-COBRA MISSILE!

[ BEEPING ]

WELL, THAT WAS EASY.

MAXIMUM ALERT.

[ ALARM BLARING ]

POSSIBLE CODE INTERCEPTION.

ALL TACTICAL UNITS,

PURSUE AND CAPTURE THAT G.I. JOE BIRD NOW.

NOW TO HEAD BACK TO THE FLAGG AND A HOT MEAL.

[ LASER FIRE ]

COME ON, COBRA.

IF YOU WANT ME, ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS CATCH ME!

LOSE SOMETHING, COBRA?

[ CHUCKLES ]

HOPE YOUR FLIGHT INSURANCE IS PAID UP.

[ ALARM BLARES ]

OH, NERTS!

OH, WHERE'D THOSE NIGHT RAVENS COME FROM?

JOE CONQUEST,

COBRA DEMANDS YOU LAND IMMEDIATELY.

SURRENDER OR BE DESTROYED.

CONQUEST TO BASE.

DO YOU READ ME?

PUT YOUR EARS ON, DIAL TONE!

[ FEEDBACK ]

OHH!

THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING, G.I. JOE.

SURRENDER YOURSELF AND THE COBRA COMMAND CODE YOU STOLE,

AND WE MIGHT LET YOU LIVE.

COBRA COMMAND CODE? THAT'S WHAT I RECORDED?

FRATS. THIS TAPE IS HOTTER THAN I THOUGHT.

COBRA'S PLAYING ROUGH,

AND UNTIL MORE JOES GET HERE, I GUESS I'M PLAYING A SOLO ACT.

OKAY, COBRA.

LET'S PLAY A NEW GAME.

I CALL IT CHUTES...

AND LASERS!

ALL RIGHT!

GOOD GUYS, TWO.

BAD GUYS, NOTHING.

VERY CUTE, JOE.

NOW IT'S TIME

FOR A STRATO-VIPER'S GUIDE TO LANDING THE HARD WAY.

AAAAAH!

[ GASPING ]

[ ALARM BLARING ]

NEED COVER TO SHAKE COBRA LOOSE BEFORE I SHAKE APART!

YOU'VE FOUGHT WELL, JOE.

FAREWELL.

RAVEN WILL REMEMBER YOU WITH HONOR.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A JOE, RAVEN.

YO-O-O, JOE!

UGH! IT'S JAMMED!

COME ON, BABY. WORK! WORK!

SOME JOE I AM.

I TRADED ONE JOE CONQUEST FOR ONLY THREE NIGHT RAVENS.

HAWK'S GONNA BE ANNOYED.

HUH! WORSE THAN THAT.

THAT STRATO-VIPER'S BRINGING HIS NIGHT RAVEN DOWN IN ONE PIECE.

GREAT. JUST GREAT.

OVER 11 MILLION SQUARE MILES OF AFRICA TO CHOOSE FROM,

AND I GOT TO PICK A COBRA USED-CAR DEALERSHIP.

UGH! UGH!

PRETTY FANCY FLYING THERE, COBRA,

BUT YOUR LANDING COULD STAND SOME WORK.

WHAT THE...?

WEREN'T EXPECTING A FEMALE STRATO-VIPER, G.I. JOE?

HEY!

SO MUCH FOR HONOR AMONG PILOTS!

[ GUN CLICKS ]

POWER PACK'S GONE. BLAST!

DESTRO AND HIS SHODDY EQUIPMENT!

WELL, TOUGH LUCK, VENOM LIPS.

NOW I SUGGEST A LITTLE COOPERATION

IF YOU WANT TO GET OUT FROM UNDER THAT PIECE OF JUNK

BEFORE IT BLOWS SKY-HIGH.

OH! YOU CLUMSY IDIOT!

I'VE SPRAINED MY ANKLE!

OOH!

HEY! GIVE ME THAT!

OHH!

TALK ABOUT GRATITUDE.

I'LL WRITE A NICE EPITAPH ON YOUR TOMBSTONE.

AAGH! OHH!

MY LASER!

OHH!

AFTER A STUNT LIKE THAT, I SHOULD JUST LEAVE YOU HERE,

BUT JOES FOLLOW THE RULES.

WHAT WAS THAT?

THE CAVALRY, JOE.

BUT THIS TIME, IT'S ON MY SIDE.

UNLIKE YOUR FRIENDS, COBRA HAS NOT ABANDONED ME.

COBRA'S COME FOR YOU.

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THERE'S A TARGET PAINTED ON MY CHEST?

WHOA!

STOP!

DON'T SHOOT!

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!

I'M ON YOUR SIDE!

UGH!

THERE'S SOME -- SOME MISTAKE.

YOU'RE THEIR TARGET, NOT ME!

COME ON!

BUT COBRA ALWAYS TAKES CARE OF ITS OWN!

I'D SAY COBRA'S GOT FUNNY IDEAS ABOUT TAKING CARE OF ITS OWN.

OH, NO.

RUN!

NO!

PUT ME DOWN, YOU OVERGROWN BOY SCOUT!

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO FIGHT BAT SINGLE-HANDED!

[ PANTING ]

BUT SURRENDER IS SURE SUICIDE.

WE'VE GOT COVER FROM THE SMOKE!

MOVE!

OH, SO NOW IT'S "WE'VE GOT COVER"!

IS THERE A RADIO HERE?

IF THERE WAS, YOU THINK I'D TELL YOU?

HA! SO YOU CAN CALL G.I. JOE FOR HELP?

YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?

WHOEVER'S RUNNING THIS GAME THINKS YOU'RE EXPENDABLE.

NEVER.

COBRA WILL SEND A DOCTOR FOR ME AS SOON AS YOU'RE ELIMINATED.

[ GRUNTING ]

WATCH OUT!

THERE'S A LEVEL UNDER US.

IT'S OUR ONLY WAY OUT.

[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

COME ON, DRAGON LADY. I'LL HELP YOU.

HANDS OFF, SLIMEBALL.

I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

HEY, THE NAME'S SLIP STREAM, NOT SLIMEBALL!

Both: AAH!

WE'VE BEEN SLIMED.

IT'S NOT SLIME, STUPID. IT'S...

[ SIGHS ]

YEAH? IT'S WHAT?

NEVER MIND. LET'S GO.

RAVEN!

OHH!

LET ME HELP YOU.

FORGET IT, JOE. I'M NOT TALKING.

HMM.

[ GRUNTS ]

OKAY. BE THAT WAY.

NOW, LET'S GET TO A WORKING RADIO.

WE JUST MIGHT FIND ONE DOWN HERE.

THIS BASE WASN'T ABANDONED. IT WAS EVACUATED.

THEY DROPPED EVERYTHING AND RAN.

HMM. I DON'T LIKE THIS.

[ GRUNTING ]

A SCOUT!

WE SURE COULD USE HIS GUN.

"WE"? I DON'T RECALL JOINING G.I. JOE.

BAT! THIS IS STRATO-VIPER RAVEN!

I'VE GOT A PRISONER!

GET DOWN HERE, YOU!

CUT IT OUT!

WHAT YOU'VE GOT IS A DEATH WISH.

UGH!

Y-O-O-O, JOE!

OHH!

[ LAUGHING ]

[ GASPING, CHOKING ]

ALWAYS WORKS ON TV.

UHP! WHOA!

OHH!

TRY THIS, SUCKER!

[ HISSING ]

YOU STILL THINK THEY'RE HERE TO HELP YOU?

THEIR PROGRAMMING MUST BE FAULTY.

NO, RAVEN. YOUR PROGRAM'S FAULTY.

WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE TO KNOCK THE TRUTH

INTO THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS?

RAVEN?

RAVEN?

RAVEN?!

[ BREATHING SHAKILY ]

RAVEN, IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO OFF BY YOURSELF!

OHH!

LOOK, THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT COBRA LEFT

IN THIS UNDERGROUND LAB.

I HOPE THEY LEFT ME A BIG, FAT MONKEY WRENCH.

I'D LIKE TO FIX YOU WITH IT, BUT GOOD!

[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACH ]

UH-OH.

THERE'S A LIGHT DOWN THERE.

HEAD FOR IT. I'LL COVER YOU.

AND DON'T ARGUE! JUST MOVE!

WHO'S ARGUING?

YAAAAAAAHHH!

YAAH! WHOA! YO! WHOA!

[ LASER FIRE ]

IT MUST BE NEARBY. THIS LOOKS FRESH.

GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

[ ALARM BLARING ]

OH, NO! THE ALARM SYSTEM!

WATCH THE FLOOR!

WHOA!

UNH! MY LEG!

HOLD ON!

[ BLARING CONTINUES ]

[ BLARING STOPS ]

NOT A BAD RESCUE, FOR A JOE.

[ GROANS ]

YOU'RE VERY, VERY BRAVE, SLIP STREAM.

YEAH, WELL, I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THAT TIME, I USED MY HEAD.

SAY, WHO CUT OFF THE ALARM?

HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

DON'T JUST SIT THERE.

LET'S GO, SLIMEBALL.

UGH. WOMEN.

I'LL NEVER FIGURE THEM OUT.

LET'S SEE.

RADIO IS SOMEWHERE NEAR CORE CENTRAL,

BUT I DON'T FIND IT HERE.

SOMETHING ATE THIS WALL, DIDN'T IT?

WHY ASK ME?

COME ON, RAVEN.

YOU KNEW WHAT THAT PIT OF GOO WAS IN THE LAB,

AND YOU WEREN'T SURPRISED TO SEE BIG HOLES IN THE WALLS.

HMPH! TYPICAL JOE MENTALITY.

YOU AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME THAT BECAUSE I'M IN COBRA,

I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.

LISTEN, I'M GETTING TIRED OF THE RUNAROUND, RAVEN.

NEITHER ONE OF US WOULD BE HERE

UNLESS THERE WERE SOME VERY HIGH STAKES

COBRA AND JOE WERE PLAYING FOR.

NOW TALK!

[ SIGHS ]

THIS...

THIS IS ONE OF DR. MINDBENDER'S BIOENGINEERING LABS --

TOO DANGEROUS TO KEEP ON COBRA ISLAND.

SOMETHING WENT WRONG.

WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIX IT.

"IT"? WHAT'S "IT"?

I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU.

I'VE GOT TO PROTECT SOME OF OUR SECRETS.

BOY, COBRA'S REALLY MESSED UP YOUR HEAD.

COME ON. LET'S FIND THAT RADIO ROOM.

[ GROWLING ]

WHAT IN BLOODY BLUE BLAZES?

[ GROWLING ]

LET ME GUESS -- THAT'S WHAT WENT WRONG!

HIT THE BLAST DOORS!

IT'S SHORTED OUT! UGH!

[ GROWLING ]

OH, I LOVE IT.

THAT THING'S IN THEIR LINE OF FIRE.

TO GET US, THEY'VE GOT TO GET PAST IT.

AFTER YOU.

TRY TO STOP ME.

THINK THAT THING WILL KEEP THE BATS OCCUPIED?

FOR ABOUT FIVE SECONDS, IF WE'RE LUCKY.

THEY DON'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST THAT THING.

[ GROWLING ]

LET'S HOPE IT CAN'T FIT THROUGH THE VENTILATION SYSTEM.

SHH! DO YOU HEAR THAT?

IT SOUNDS LIKE A FAN.

WE'RE GONNA GET DICED!

NOT THIS PILOT!

UGH!

SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO HEROES?

[ PANTING ]

I'M IMPRESSED.

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE MOVE THAT QUICKLY.

YOU COULD MOVE THAT FAST

IF COBRA SURGICALLY ALTERED YOUR REFLEX SYSTEM.

SO, THAT'S HOW YOU OUTFLEW ME.

YOU BEAT YOURSELF,

FLYING LIKE A TRAINEE INSTEAD OF A REAL PILOT.

DON'T THESE GUYS EVER GIVE UP?!

[ GRUNTS ]

GO ON. I'LL STAY HERE TO DISCOURAGE THEM.

[ LASER FIRE ]

[ BEEPING ]

ANY OF THAT RADIO GEAR WORK?

YEAH. TIME FOR ME TO CALL IN THE CAVALRY.

SLIP STREAM.

WE'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS CHANNEL OPEN.

WHERE ARE YOU?

ALL RIGHT!

I'M DOWN AT COORDINATES

48-50-09er.

HOW ABOUT A LIFT HOME?

ROGER! WE'RE SCRAMBLING ON TOMAHAWK NOW, PAL.

IS THE DELIVERY READY?

YOU BET!

GOT THE GOODS RIGHT HERE!

TERRIFIC.

YOU ALSO KNOCKED OUT OUR COMMUNICATIONS LINK.

I NEED TO GET G.I. JOE BACK.

MAYBE I CAN GET SOMETHING.

[ BEEPING ]

THERE'S OUR SIGNAL.

DR. MINDBENDER!

YOU'VE PROVIDED US WITH A GREAT DEAL OF ENTERTAINMENT, FOOL.

I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU BOTH GET IN AND OUT OF MY TRAPS.

IN FACT, YOU'VE BEEN THE COMEDY HIT OF THE SEASON.

WE'RE GOING TO MISS YOU WHEN OUR EXPERIMENT CANCELS YOU.

[ LAUGHS ]

AND WHAT ABOUT ME?!

IS THIS MY REWARD FOR LOYALTY TO COBRA?!

YES. YOU'LL DIE A HERO, MY DEAR,

AND BY THE TIME THE JOES REACH YOU BOTH,

THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT BUT TWO SMALL BURN MARKS

AND A HUNGRY BIO-ANNIHILATOR EXPERIMENT,

HUNGRY FOR MORE UNSUSPECTING JOES.

NO!

[ GLASS SHATTERS ]

MORE BATS?!

COME ON! COME ON!

RAVEN!

UGH!

THIS WAY.

[ GROWLING ]

WHAT IS THAT THING?

DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO THE DOCTOR?

THAT THING IS THE BIO-ANNIHILATOR,

THE MONSTER THAT MADE ALL THAT SLIME,

THE HOLES IN THE WALL. REMEMBER?

THE CENTRAL CONTROL COMPUTER IS CLOSE BY.

HERE WE ARE.

I'LL HOLD THE FORT.

YOU TRY AND PROGRAM THIS PLACE TO SELF-DESTRUCT.

[ BEEPS ]

PRIORITY ACCESS REQUESTED AND RECEIVED.

PLEASE INSERT CASSETTE WITH COMMAND CODE NOW.

WHERE IS THAT...

OH, BLAST!

I LOST THE CASSETTE WITH THE CONTROL CODE!

NO, YOU DIDN'T. CATCH.

I WON'T BOTHER TO ASK HOW YOU GOT THIS.

[ GROWLING ]

WE'VE GOT 60 SECONDS BEFORE THIS PLACE BLOWS SKY-HIGH.

THIS IS A CORE CENTRAL ALERT.

PLEASE EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY. PLEASE EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY.

[ GROWLING ]

WHOA!

[ HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING ]

LISTEN.

A CHOPPER. BUT WHOSE?

WHO CARES?!

YAHOO!

Y-O-O-O, JOE!

[ GROWLING ]

[ ENGINE SPUTTERING ]

YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE SO GLAD TO SEE THE ENEMY.

BRINGING BACK A PRISONER, SLIP STREAM?

I...DON'T KNOW, LIFELINE.

NO, I THINK THIS IS A RECRUIT.