Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM

♪ WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP,

♪ HE'S ALWAYS THERE

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

Announcer: G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE

[ BIRD SQUAWKS ]

Serpentor: CONGRATULATIONS, DATOO ALI,

ON YOUR SERIES OF SUCCESSFUL RAIDS ON THE G.I. JOE BASES.

THANKS TO YOU, AMERICA'S MILITARY PRESENCE

IN THE SOUTH PACIFIC IS WEAKENED.

COBRA IS PLEASED.

THANK YOU, COBRA EMPEROR.

[ WHIRRING ]

SGT. SLAUGHTER!

YO-O-O, JOE!

ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK!

All: ATTACK! ATTACK!

DATOO ALI!

WHERE ARE YOU?!

ANSWER ME!

TELL ME WHAT IS HAPPENING!

SGT. SLAUGHTER STARTED THE PARTY WITHOUT US!

THAT GLORY HOG!

COME ON. MOVE YOUR FEET, NOT YOUR MOUTH!

JUST BE SURE YOUR SHOELACES ARE TIED.

HOW'D YOU LIKE A FAT LIP?

NO, THANKS!

IT MIGHT CLASH WITH YOUR FAT HEAD.

YO-O-O, JOE!

THEY'RE LIKE DUCKS IN A SHOOTING GALLERY.

[ SCREAMS ]

SHOOT! I MISSED!

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

IN JUST ABOUT A MINUTE, I'M GOING TO GET REAL MAD.

THINK HE NEEDS ANY HELP?

HYAH!

[ GRUNTING ]

THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, SCI-FI?

I WARNED YOU.

ATTACK, YOU COWARDS!

SO, YOU WANT TO PLAY ROUGH, HUH?

GOOD! 'CAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW TO PLAY!

WELL, AT LEAST HE'S NEVER BORING.

DID YOU LEAVE ANY FOR US?

Slaughter: GEE, I'M SORRY. I GUESS I GOT CARRIED AWAY.

THAT'S OKAY, SARGE.

IT WAS A REAL EDUCATION.

HMM.

WE'LL RADIO LIFT TICKET

WHILE YOU SEND YOUR REGARDS TO SERPENTOR.

Serpentor: DATOO ALI!

I DEMAND THAT YOU ANSWER ME NOW!

THIS I COMMAND!

AND HERE'S YOUR ANSWER, FANG FACE.

SGT. SLAUGHTER!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. LET'S GO HOME.

Boy: MR. FORREST!

TELEGRAM FOR MR. FORREST!

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

BOY, UH, THAT'S ME, SON.

"YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO PARTICIPATE

IN THE MARTIAL ARTS COMPETITION. GOOD LUCK."

SIGNED, PIERRE LaFONTE.

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

OH, THAT'S NOTHING, SARGE.

JUST A LITTLE REMEDIAL TRAINING.

DON'T TRY TO SNOWBALL ME, SAILOR.

THIS IS AGAINST JOE REGULATIONS, AND YOU KNOW IT!

BUT, SARGE --

NO BUTS, WET SUIT!

LaFONTE'S AN INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL,

AND THAT SO-CALLED COMPETITION

IS NOTHING BUT A BLOOD SPORT.

IS THAT CLEAR?

Y-YES, SIR.

WAIT FOR ME ON THE BUS WHILE I SETTLE UP OUR ACCOUNT.

YO-O-O, JOE!

I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR STAY HERE

AND THAT YOU WERE ABLE

TO CONCLUDE YOUR BUSINESS SATISFACTORILY.

OH, YEAH.

I ALWAYS CONCLUDE MY BUSINESS SATISFACTORILY.

CALL FOR MR. FORREST.

TELEPHONE CALL FOR MR. FORREST.

I'LL TAKE THAT, BOY.

US THAT PHONE OVER THERE, SIR.

YEAH. THANKS.

THAT SNEAKY LITTLE WET SUIT.

IF HE THINKS HE CAN --

[ CLICK ]

[ BOTH GRUNT ]

ALL RIGHT. LET'S DO IT!

COME ON! STAND STILL!

QUICK, AREN'T YOU? WELL...

[ GROANS ]

I WONDER WHAT'S TAKING THE SARGE SO LONG.

I BETTER GO CHECK ON HIM.

BIG MAN SAY HE MEET YOU AT AIRPORT.

WHAT? YOU GO NOW.

HE MEET YOU THERE.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

Man 1: WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

Man 2: ALL RIGHT. WATCH IT!

WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?

I, PIERRE LaFONTE.

I AM YOUR HOST FOR THE NEXT TWO DAYS, MR. FORREST.

WHY, YOU MAGGOT, I'M NOT FORR--

[ GRUNTING ]

[ PANTING ]

YOUR EXPERIENCE AT THE HOTEL WAS JUST A TEST

TO WEED OUT THE OBVIOUSLY UNFIT.

THE NEXT TEST WILL BE CONSIDERABLY MORE DIFFICULT.

IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE, YOU MUST DEFEAT THESE MEN.

[ MEN LAUGHING ]

OKAY. FINE.

THE MORE, THE MERRIER.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS?

SIR, WE -- WE HAD NO CHOICE.

WE HAD A PLANE TO CATCH.

WELL, DON'T UNPACK YOUR GEAR,

'CAUSE YOU'RE GOING BACK INTO THE JUNGLE.

E-EXCUSE ME, SIR.

I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS IMPORTANT,

BUT I HAD PLANNED ON ATTENDING

A MARTIAL ARTS COMPETITION WHILE WE WERE OVER THERE.

SO?

WELL, THE SARGE FOUND OUT ABOUT IT.

WHAT COMPETITION IS THIS?

[ LAUGHS ]

SOME FRENCHMAN NAMED LaFONTE.

LaFONTE? PIERRE LaFONTE?

UH, Y-YES, SIR. THAT'S IT.

MAINFRAME, RUN A CHECK ON MAJOR PIERRE LaFONTE.

MAJOR PIERRE LaFONTE.

OFTEN USES THE GREEN MONKEY CANTINA IN MANILA

AS MAIL-DROP SAFEHOUSE.

[ GRUNTING ]

WELL?

OH...MM.

I CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR VICTORY, MR. FORREST.

OR SHALL I CALL YOU "WET SUIT"?

YEAH. OKAY. WET SUIT'S GOOD ENOUGH.

VERY WELL.

NOW, PERHAPS YOU ARE WONDERING

ABOUT THE PURPOSE OF OUR LITTLE COMPETITION.

THE EVENTUAL WINNER WILL SERVE COBRA

AS AN ASSASSIN ON A VERY SPECIAL MISSION,

THE NATURE OF WHICH

I AM NOT AT LIBERTY TO DISCUSS AT THIS TIME.

[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]

[ HEAVY FOOTSTEPS ]

HOWDY. I'M WONDERING IF YOU CAN HELP ME.

I NEED SOME INFORMATION.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

Man: I KNOW NOTHING.

HEY! I JUST WANT TO KNOW

WHERE I CAN FIND A MAN NAMED LaFONTE.

HUH.

UH, EXCUSE ME.

I-I'M TRYING TO FIND --

OKAY. THAT TEARS IT.

YO-O-O, JOE!

WHAT THE--? HUH?

[ GROANING ]

WHERE DID THEY GO?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU GUYS ALL RIGHT?

UGH, SURE.

YEAH. THEY JUST, UH,

CAUGHT OUR BLIND SIDE. THAT'S ALL.

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

ALL RIGHT. HOLD YOUR FIRE!

Both: HUH?!

Beach Head: YEAH, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

ABOUT THAT LITTLE CHAT

I WANTED TO HAVE WITH YOU --

I THINK THERE'S A FREE TABLE OVER HERE.

I CAN'T FIGHT YOU.

HEY, YOU DON'T WISH TO FIGHT THE GREAT ANDRE VELOCITE,

MASTER OF THE FRENCH ARTS OF BAKING AND SAVATE?

YOU OUGHT TO FIGHT SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE.

[ VELOCITE LAUGHS ]

MAYBE I'M YOUR MAN AFTER ALL.

MY MOTHER TOLD ME THERE'D BE DAYS LIKE THIS.

[ GRUNTING ]

[ LAUGHS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

PREPARE TO FIGHT SLAUGHTERHOUSE STYLE!

[ GRUNTING ]

THE SHOE'S ON THE OTHER FOOT, EH, FRENCHY?

HEY! PUT ME DOWN!

IF YOU THINK THAT WAS FUN, TRY THIS!

[ GRUNTING ]

NO! STOP! PLEASE!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

[ SCREAMS ]

BRAVO, MR. FORREST.

WHAT ABOUT FRENCHY?

OH. DON'T WORRY ABOUT HIM.

HE WILL BE SUITABLY DISPOSED OF.

NOW, NEXT.

[ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ]

ACCORDING TO THE INFORMATION THOSE TWO NINJAS VOLUNTEERED,

LaFONTE'S TEMPLE SHOULD JUST BE A FEW MORE KLICKS IN COUNTRY.

I HOPE SO, 'CAUSE I'M READY TO KICK SOME BUTT.

THIS REMINDS ME OF CONRAD'S "HEART OF DARKNESS."

EVER READ THAT BOOK, LEATHERNECK?

NOPE. DON'T THINK SO,

BUT I SAW A MOVIE ONCE CALLED "THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER."

Beach Head: QUIET DOWN BACK THERE.

WELL, BOYS, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?

YOU WON'T TAKE ME WITHOUT A FIGHT.

WE WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.

[ GRUNTS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

OKAY. LET'S TAKE THIS "G.I. JOKE" BACK TO THE TEMPLE.

LaFONTE: THIS, MR. FORREST, IS OSIBISA.

YOU AND HE ARE THE SEMIFINALISTS.

THIS TIME, I'M ADDING A FEW COMPLICATIONS

TO MAKE THE GAME MORE INTERESTING.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTH.

[ GRUNTING ]

THE BIGGER THEY ARE...

AAH!

...THE HARDER THEY FALL.

[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

[ SCREAMS ]

CONGRATULATIONS, WET SUIT.

YOU HAVE SURVIVED OUR TOURNEY,

AND I MUST SAY, YOUR MARTIAL ARTS PROWESS

FAR EXCEEDS THE INFORMATION IN OUR FILES.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR FILES?

NOW, NOW, MR. FORREST.

YOU STILL HAVE ONE LAST TEST TO PASS.

YOU MUST KILL A MEMBER OF G.I. JOE.

ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE JAPANESE ART OF KENDO?

YEAH.

WE ARE WAITING, MR. FORREST.

HE'S GOT US MIXED UP.

HE THINKS YOU'RE ME.

I KNOW. LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY.

SO, TAKE ME OUT AND MAKE IT LOOK GOOD.

NO, SARGE. I GOT YOU INTO THIS MESS.

I HAVE TO LOSE.

THAT'S CRAZY, WET SUIT!

NO. IF I WIN, WE BOTH LOSE.

BUT IF I LOSE, AT LEAST YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE.

[ SIGHS ]

[ Sing-song ] BORING!

NO DICE, WET SUIT. I'LL MAKE YOU FIGHT.

OW!

BRAVO!

Wet Suit: HEY! THAT HURT!

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO.

IF YOU AREN'T GONNA FIGHT ME,

THEN I GOT TO MAKE IT LOOK GOOD.

NOT THAT GOOD.

YOW!

[ Strained ] YOU'RE MAKING ME MAD, SARGE!

GOOD.

OKAY.

DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

ALL RIGHT. IT'S ABOUT TIME, SAILOR.

[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

[ YAWNS ]

LET US PUT A LITTLE ENGLISH ON THIS.

LET'S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE. IT'S OUR ONLY CHANCE.

WHAT'S THIS?

[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

[ GROANS ]

[ GROANING ]

LET'S WORK OUR WAY TOWARD THE EDGE OF THE JUNGLE.

THEN WE CAN MAKE A BREAK FOR IT.

OKAY. BUT HOW ABOUT EASING UP A LITTLE?

I MIGHT NEED MY STRENGTH LATER.

YOU WANT ME TO GO SOFT ON YOU?

THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED

TO WHAT LaFONTE AND HIS BOYS WILL DO TO YOU.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOW! OH!

OW!

NOW YOU GOT THE RIGHT ATTITUDE!

[ ALL SHOUTING ]

STAY CLOSE, LEATHERNECK.

GO EASY ON HIM, BEACH HEAD.

HE AND WET SUIT ARE TIGHTER THAN THEY WANT ANY OF US TO KNOW.

YEAH, I KNOW.

BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE ANOTHER MAN.

A COBRA FIREBAT.

YEAH. WE MUST BE CLOSE TO LaFONTE'S TEMPLE.

LOOK! IT'S WET SUIT!

WELL, I'LL BE.

AND SGT. SLAUGHTER'S KNOCKING SOME SENSE INTO HIM.

[ CHUCKLES ]

KIND OF PUTS A WARM, FUZZY RIGHT HERE, DON'T IT?

YEAH. MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE.

[ PANTING ]

THIS IS IT.

IT'S NOW...OR...NEVER!

COME ON!

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

[ BOTH PANTING ]

WELCOME, WELCOME!

YOU SHOULD HAVE RADIOED ME THAT YOU WERE COMING!

YES. AND YOU SHOULD HAVE INVITED ME SOONER.

SO, WHERE IS MY NEW ASSASSIN?

WHY, OVER HERE, COBRA COMMANDER.

HEY! FANG BREATH!

SGT. SLAUGHTER! NO!

YOU...KNOW THIS MAN?

KNOW HIM?!

YES, YOU SWINE!

AND HE'S NOT MR. FORREST?

HE'S NOT MR. ANYTHING!

HE IS A G.I. JOE.

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

COBRA COMMANDER, THERE ARE ONLY FOUR G.I. JOES OVER THERE!

WHAT?! DON'T JUST STAND THERE.

DESTROY THEM!

COBRA!

FALL BACK!

Man 1: DID YOU SEE THE AD IN THIS MONTH'S "MERCENARY REVIEW"?

NEW FREDONIA IS PAYING $1,500 A WEEK.

Man 2: YEAH?!

[ GRUNTING ]

HERE. LET THE OTHER GUYS OUT OF THE CELL.

I'M GOING BACK TO HELP OUR BROTHERS IN ARMS.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS REALIZE IT OR NOT,

BUT YOU WERE BEING USED BY COBRA.

NOW LET'S GO KICK THEIR BUTTS!

Man 1: HEY, ALL RIGHT!

Man 2: YEAH! LET'S GET THEM!

Man 3: I'M WITH YOU!

COBRA!

[ PANTING ]

GOT ANY IDEAS, BEACH HEAD?

I'M THINKING, SCI-FI.

Slaughter: YO-O-O, JOE!

EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

HOW'S THAT FOR STARTERS?

IT'LL DO.

COME ON!

[ GRUNTING ]

YOU -- YOU IMBECILE, YOU HAVE RUINED MY GREATEST PLAN!

WE MUST LEAVE NOW, COMMANDER!

YES.

MARK MY WORDS, LaFONTE, WE WILL MEET AGAIN.

YE--

COBRA COMMANDER'S GETTING AWAY!

THAT'S OKAY. HE'S NOT THE PIGEON WE WANT.

WET SUIT, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

OH, YEAH, MEATHEAD?

Slaughter: SO, TELL ME, LaFONTE.

JUST WHO WAS I SUPPOSED TO ASSASSINATE ANYWAY?

DON'T YOU KNOW? SERPENTOR.

COBRA COMMANDER PUT A CONTRACT OUT ON HIM.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, SIR.

I HAD A PERFECT CHANCE TO CRIPPLE COBRA ONCE AND FOR ALL,

AND I BLEW IT.

DON'T WORRY, SARGE.

YOU'LL HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE.

WE CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON COBRA TO STRIKE ANYTIME AND ANYPLACE.

AND I'LL BE THERE. YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT.