Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

OH, HOW CHARMING!

YOU HAVE A PORTRAIT OF GREAT-UNCLE ALBERT.

IN MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER'S TIME,

THE PRINCE WAS OUR HONORED GUEST,

AS WAS KING RODERIC OF BAVARIA.

RASPUTIN WAS A GUEST HERE, AS WELL?

OH, YES. HE WAS TRAVELING WITH THE CZAR.

OF COURSE, THAT WAS BEFORE ANYONE KNEW

OF HIS DESPICABLE REPUTATION.

OTHERWISE, THE MANAGEMENT WOULD NEVER HAVE ALLOWED HIM

TO STAY HERE AS A GUEST. YOU UNDERSTAND.

[ ALARM BLARING ]

A THIEF! STOP HIM!

THERE HE IS!

STOP, OR I'LL SHOOT!

RELEASING NIGHT-RAVEN DRONE.

SERPENTOR, THE MISSION WAS A SUCCESS,

BUT YOUR ANDROID TROOPER MISSED THE PLANE.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT CAN WALK HOME.

[ GRUNTING ]

GENGHIS KHAN DESERVES THE PLACE OF HONOR,

BUT IF YOU MISERABLE EXCUSES FOR VIPERS CAN'T DO IT,

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT MYSELF!

[ STRAINING ]

[ SIGHS ]

MAGNIFICENT.

"MAGNIFICENT"?

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE,

AND WHY ARE THEY CLUTTERING MY CHAMBERS?

THESE PEOPLE ARE ME.

MY CHROMOSOMES CONTAIN GENETIC BLUEPRINTS

FROM ALL THESE CONQUERORS, TYRANTS, AND KINGS,

AND EACH TRIGGERS A DIFFERENT SECTION OF MY GENETIC CODE,

REACTIVATING THE POWER OF THOSE LIFETIMES IN ME NOW!

BUT FOR MY POWER TO BE COMPLETE,

I MUST GATHER ALL OF MY FAVORITE THINGS.

AH, RASPUTIN.

WHAT AN EVIL SCOUNDREL HE WAS.

AND ONE THING, COMMANDER.

THESE CHAMBERS ARE NO LONGER YOURS!

THEY'RE MINE!

THERE WAS ONCE A NORSE WARRIOR WHO ROVED THESE SEAS.

HIS NAME -- ULRICH THE BATTERER,

THE MOST FEARED BERSERKER WARRIOR

EVER TO BURN A VILLAGE TO THE GROUND.

NOW, LET ME GUESS.

WAS THIS HYPERACTIVE VIKING RELATED TO SOMEONE I KNOW?

ONCE I REGAIN SKULLSPLITTER, MY BATTLE-AX,

ULRICH'S BERSERKER STRENGTH WILL ONCE AGAIN BE MINE!

Destro: AND MY RESEARCHERS LOCATED THE AX

IN THIS WEAPONS MUSEUM IN THE NETHERLANDS.

WONDERFUL, DESTRO. DID YOU ALSO LEARN

THAT G .I. JOE AND NATO ARE HOLDING WAR GAMES HERE, AS WELL?

A MINOR HINDRANCE.

THAT WILL BE HANDLED AS SOON AS WE ARRIVE.

[ BELL RINGING ]

COME ON, WET SUIT.

YOU CHOSE WHERE WE ATE LUNCH YESTERDAY.

TODAY'S MY TURN.

GREAT. YOUR IDEA OF GOURMET CUISINE

IS C-RATIONS SAUTéED WITH DOG FOOD.

[ RUMBLING ]

THE DIKES!

THEY'RE GETTING BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS!

LOOK OUT!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

YEAH, BUT TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT WASHED IN ON THE TIDE.

All: COBRA!

Wet Suit: FOLLOW ME. WE'RE GONNA NEED EQUIPMENT.

LOOKS LIKE COBRA'S PAYING ZUIDERZEE A CULTURAL VISIT.

Lady Jaye: THE WEAPONS MUSEUM.

IN THAT CASE, I'M GONNA SWIM OVER

AND GET ME A LITTLE CULTURE MYSELF.

JOES, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT COBRA'S AFTER, SO BE CAREFUL.

All: Yo, Joe.

Destro: NO SIGN OF THE AX SO FAR, SERPENTOR.

NO MATTER, BUT KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN.

G.I. JOES.

ATTACK!

UH-OH.

SOUNDS LIKE THE OTHERS RAN INTO TROUBLE.

TROUBLE JUST RAN INTO US!

LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA GET ME

A SNAKE-SKIN SOUVENIR FROM HOLLAND AFTER ALL.

NOT A CHANCE, FROGMAN!

I'M GONNA BLAST HIM!

WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE WHITES OF HIS EYES.

I'M LETTING HIM HAVE IT!

DUMB MOVE, PAL.

WHY? I GOT HIM, DIDN'T I?

NOPE! HE'S GOT YOU!

LOW-LIGHT!

OKAY! OKAY! I'M COMING!

OH, NO!

[ GLASS SHATTERS ]

DIAL TONE, GET OUT OF HERE.

THESE BOOKS ARE GIVING ME EYE STRAIN.

I COULD HAVE SWORN I SAW SER...PENTOR.

YES, AND NOW THAT I'VE RECOVERED MY AX, SKULLSPLITTER,

I AM SOMETHING MORE!

COBRA!

[ SCREAMS ]

NO!

[ SCREAMS ]

MY AX!

SKULLSPLITTER...DESTROYED!

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!

UGH!

NEVER, G.I. JOE!

SERPENTOR!

THE TIDE IS GOING OUT!

WE MUST DEPART WHILE WE CAN!

UGH!

I MUST LEAVE NOW, JOE, BUT I SHALL REMEMBER THIS DAY,

AND I SHALL DESTROY YOU!

COBRA!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, LEATHERNECK.

YOU ACTUALLY TOOK ON SERPENTOR

AND WRECKED ONE OF HIS SPECIAL WEAPONS.

[ Laughing ] WOW.

OH, I EXPECT ANY RED-BLOODED MARINE WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME.

MARINE? HA!

A SEAL WOULD HAVE BROUGHT BACK SERPENTOR'S HEAD,

NOT SOME LITTLE TOMMY HATCHET.

GIVE ME THAT, YOU FROG!

CUT IT OUT, GUYS. CUT IT OUT.

YO, SUPER-MARINE,

I NEED YOU TO I.D. THAT LAST FACE YOU SAW ON SNAKE-PUSS.

IT JUST MIGHT GIVE US A CLUE TO HIS NEXT TARGET.

HEY! HEY! HOLD IT! HOLD IT!

THAT'S HIM.

HEAVY-DUTY.

DO YOU KNOW WHO VLAD THE IMPALER IS?

FILL HIM IN, DIAL TONE.

WELL, HE LIVED IN 15th-CENTURY TRANSYLVANIA.

[ BEEP ]

AND HE HAD A NASTY HABIT

OF TURNING PEOPLE INTO HORS D'OEUVRES.

ONE OTHER THING -- YOU'LL RECOGNIZE VLAD'S LAST NAME.

[ LAUGHS ]

IT WAS DRACULA.

OKAY, GANG. HOPE YOU GOT YOUR GARLIC READY,

'CAUSE YOUR NEXT STOP IS CASTLE DRACULA.

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

AHH, IT'S GOOD TO SEE MY OLD INTERROGATION DEVICES.

YOU JUST DON'T GET CRAFTSMANSHIP LIKE THIS ANYMORE.

ONE VIPER ON THE TOWER BELOW.

AND SOME MORE IN THE FOREST.

THEN LET'S STOMP SOME SNAKES.

WET SUIT, WAIT!

AAH!

AAH!

SERPENTOR, HERE I COME.

SO MUCH FOR THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE.

LOW-LIGHT, COVER US. EVERYONE ELSE, COME ON!

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

OHH! AAH!

AAH!

Lady Jaye: WET SUIT'S GOING TO BE TRAPPED INSIDE!

GUESS THE MARINES HAD BETTER SAVE HIS PATHETIC HIDE

WHILE HE'S STILL GOT ONE.

[ COUGHS ]

YUCK.

WELL, DR. MINDBENDER, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

PRIMITIVE, BUT IF THE TROOPER'S AIM IS GOOD,

INCREDIBLY EFFECTIVE.

NO WAY!

[ SCREAMS ]

YOU OKAY, FROGGY?

YEAH, BUT YOU TURNED MY METALLIC BUDDY

INTO A SHISH KEBAB.

WAIT! THE OTHER G .I. JOE!

HE'S THE ONE WHO DESTROYED MY BATTLE-AX!

IMPALING IS TOO GOOD FOR HIM!

HE DESERVES THE WORST FATE OF ALL!

UGH.

I THINK WE'D BETTER MAKE OURSELVES SCARCE.

POISONING BY THE MOST DEADLY VENOM ON THIS PLANET --

A DART, TIPPED WITH MY BLOOD!

SHALL WE?

AFTER THEM!

All: COBRA!

COME ON, PAL.

PUT SOME OF THAT FAMOUS JARHEAD MUSCLE ON THAT DOOR!

JUST IN TIME.

THERE'S A SPLINTER IN MY BACK THAT'S KILLING ME.

THAT ISN'T A SPLINTER, LEATHERNECK.

IT'S SERPENTOR'S POISON DART.

IN THAT CASE, FROGGY, THIS IS GOODBYE.

LEATHERNECK, NO!

[ BANGING ON DOOR ]

DON'T GIVE UP NOW, LEATHER-BRAIN.

STOP HIM!

IF I HADN'T TRIED TO SHOW UP LEATHERNECK,

NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

GUYS, IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

WITHOUT SOME OF THE ORIGINAL POISON TO CREATE AN ANTIVENOM,

LEATHERNECK'S A GONER.

LIFELINE, IF YOU HAD SOME OF SERPENTOR'S BLOOD...?

WE'D HAVE A CHANCE.

HEY! HOLD IT!

DIAL TONE JUST INTERCEPTED A TRANSMISSION

FROM THE COBRA MOTHER SHIP.

SERPENTOR'S ON BOARD.

THEY'RE HEADING FOR A LANDING SITE IN SOUTHERN INDIA.

I'M ON MY WAY.

NO WAY, SAILOR.

WE NEED TIME TO PLAN THIS MISSION.

JUST MAKE SURE YOU BOTH COME BACK.

WE NEAR THE SITE OF MY GREATEST POWER.

I CAN FEEL IT VIBRATING IN MY CELLS.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN A PRETTY SMALL SNAKELING TO CONSIDER THIS HOME.

QUITE THE CONTRARY, COMMANDER.

IN THOSE DAYS,

I WAS KNOWN AS KING TASHAKA, LORD OF ALL SERPENTS!

OH.

[ GASPS ]

BUT YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD US WHY YOU DRAGGED US HERE.

TO COLLECT MY FAVORITE PET, OF COURSE --

THE EMBODIMENT OF MY GREATEST POWER.

AND SINCE IT'S BEEN 5,000 YEARS SINCE I LAST SAW HER,

I'M SURE SHE HAS GROWN.

Wet Suit: IF SERPENTOR'S DOWN HERE, WE'RE GONNA GET HIM.

OH, WHAT A PLACE.

[ HISSES ]

UGH!

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

[ HISSING ]

IN HERE.

DID I EVER TELL YOU THAT I HATE SNAKES?

MY PET WILL BE ATTRACTED BY THE LIGHT OF THE TORCHES.

HOW SWEET.

[ HISSING ]

THAT IS YOUR PET?

YOU! HOLD THIS!

NOW, NOW, MY PET.

IT'S ALL RIGHT. I'M HERE.

Destro: NOW THAT SERPENTOR'S POWER IS FULLY ACTIVATED,

G .I. JOE IS DOOMED!

[ BEEPING ]

[ LAUGHING ]

I, SERPENTOR, COBRA EMPEROR,

CALL UPON ALL MY SERPENTINE BRETHREN TO JOIN ME!

THIS I COMMAND!

THIS WAY.

[ SNAKES HISSING ]

WHAT'S GOING ON?

NO!

BUT I TOLD YOU, I HATE SNAKES!

AHH,

MY FAVORITE NECTAR FROM DAYS GONE BY.

AHH! HOW REFRESHING.

I FEEL MY POWER GROWING!

UH, LET ME TRY.

[ LAUGHING ]

IF YOU WISH.

PERHAPS I'M NOT AS THIRSTY AS I THOUGHT.

COME.

LET US MAKE PREPARATIONS FOR OUR DEPARTURE.

SEE THAT NO ONE ENTERS THE SHRINE.

AMAZING.

THIS IS THE PURE FORM OF THE VENOM

THAT'S IN SERPENTOR'S BLOOD.

OH, NO.

IF IT ISN'T THE BAT THAT TRIED TO TURN ME INTO SEAL ON A STICK!

SO WHAT? LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

NOT TILL I RETURN THE FAVOR.

WET SUIT, NO!

[ CHUCKLES ]

DON'T WORRY. WE CAN STILL GO BACK TO OUR ORIGINAL PLAN,

GETTING SERPENTOR'S BLOOD.

WRONG.

THAT WAS ONLY CLUTCHING AT STRAWS.

THE PURE VENOM WAS OUR BEST BET.

NOW WE'LL HAVE TO GET IT FROM THE COBRA.

NO WAY! EVEN LITTLE SNAKES GIVE ME THE CREEPS,

BUT THAT MONSTER -- I...

SO, IT'S OKAY TO RISK YOUR LIFE FOR REVENGE,

BUT TO SAVE LEATHERNECK'S LIFE,

YOU WON'T SQUARE OFF AGAINST A SNAKE?

SOME OF THE GUYS MAKE FUN OF ME 'CAUSE I DON'T CARRY WEAPONS.

BUT SAVING LIVES TAKES COURAGE, TOO,

AND IF YOU'RE TOO SCARED TO HELP,

THEN I'M GOING AFTER THAT SNAKE ALONE!

YOU MADE YOUR POINT, BUDDY.

I JUST HOPE YOU CAN TALK THIS GOOD TO THE SNAKE.

[ HISSES ]

SO MUCH FOR A SNEAK ATTACK.

YEAH.

I'M AFRAID IT'S TIME FOR PLAN "B."

WET SUIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M GETTING ENOUGH VENOM TO SAVE MY BUDDY'S LIFE!

OHH!

JUST REMEMBER TO MAKE ENOUGH ANTIVENOM FOR ME, TOO.

WET SUIT...

OH, JUST ONE LOUSY GRENADE?

THANKS, PAL.

NOW CAN WE GO?

OH, I GUESS SO.

[ EXPLOSION ]

YIPPEE!

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

THE MOTHER SHIP.

IF ITS ARMORY EXPLODES...

WE'RE DOOMED!

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A GOOD EXPLOSION, IS THERE, LIFEL...?

NOTHING EXCEPT GETTING YOUR FRIENDS HOME ALIVE.

SO, SERPENTOR, TELL ME WHAT YOUR RIDICULOUS QUEST HAS ACHIEVED

NOW THAT YOUR FAVORITE FAVORITE THING IS GONE?

LOOK.

[ HISSES ]

UGH! OHH!

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

I GUESS THAT COBRA POISON WASN'T MEAN ENOUGH

TO FINISH YOU OFF AFTER ALL.

I FIGURED THAT SINCE THE MARINES WEREN'T UP TO IT,

THE SEALS HAD BETTER LEND A HAND.

HEY! WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS MARINE BUSTED SERPENTOR'S BATTLE-AX,

WHICH I NOW HAVE AS A TROPHY.

[ LAUGHS ]

WHEREAS YOU, YOU DUMB SEAL, YOU WENT ALL THE WAY TO INDIA,

AND ALL YOU CAME BACK WITH

WAS A JAR OF SNAKE SPIT FOR LIFELINE TO DO HIS

[LAUGHS] SCIENTIFIC HOOEY ON.

I HOPE YOU AREN'T TRYING TO COMPARE

A REAL BLUEWATER SAILOR AND A SEAL

TO SOME BOGUS LAND-LOVER ORGANIZATION

TO WHICH YOU HAPPEN TO BELONG!

HOW ARE THE PATIENTS DOING?

WHY DON'T YOU GET OFF YOUR BACK AND SAY THAT?

NO PROBLEM, LEATHER-WRECK!

LEATHER-WRECK? I'LL WRECK YOU!

I'D SAY THEY'RE ON THE ROAD TO COMPLETE RECOVERY.

IF THEY DON'T KILL EACH OTHER FIRST.

SAYS WHO?

SAYS ME!

SAYS WHO?

SAYS ME!