Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED

SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE

DIAL TONE, YOU BETTER HIDE THE DEVILFISH

BEFORE THEY DISCOVER US.

REPORT, DR. MINDBENDER.

WE MAY HAVE THE VOLTRONIC GALAXIDOR'S POLARITY PROBLEM

LICKED, O GREAT SERPENTOR.

"MAY" HAVE IT LICKED?

WHEN SERPENTOR DEMANDS RESULTS, SERPENTOR GETS RESULTS!

THIS, I COMMAND!

Dr. Mindbender: YES, SERPENTOR.

PLEASE OBSERVE AS WE CONDUCT OUR NEXT TEST.

OUR TARGET -- 3 FEET OF MOLYBDENUM-ARMOR STEEL.

WHEN THE VOLTRONIC GALAXIDOR BEAM STRIKES THE STEEL,

IT WILL REVERSE THE STRUCTURE OF POLARITY,

TURNING IT INTO AN ANTIMATTER BOMB.

YES. YES. I READ THE TACTICAL REPORTS. PROCEED.

YOUR THIRD FAILURE, DR. MINDBENDER!

Dr. Mindbender: I CAN PERFECT THE VOLTRONIC GALAXIDOR

IF COBRA CAN RECRUIT JEREMY PENSER,

ONE OF THE GREATEST MINDS IN QUANTUM PHYSICS TODAY.

I AM CERTAIN HE'LL WILLINGLY JOIN COBRA

IF WE PROMISE TO MAKE HIM WALK.

I THOUGHT I HEARD SOMETHING. I BETTER CHECK THE PERIMETER.

Dr. Mindbender: PENSER WILL BE AT THIS WEEKEND'S

WORLD SCIENCE-FICTION CONVENTION.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?

[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

AW, WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?

TRUBBLE BUBBLES!

WE'RE SURE ATTRACTING A LOT OF ATTENTION.

HEAD FOR THE BEACH!

JUMP!

YO, JO-O-E!

[ MEN CHEERING ]

THEY'RE DONE FOR! MOVE OUT!

GOOD THING THE DECOY DEVILFISH FOOLED THEM.

YEAH. BETTER STOP GASSING AND MOVE IT.

HEY, HAWK. LOW-LIGHT AND DIAL TONE TELL ME

YOU GOT A LEAD ON DR. MINDBENDER.

THAT'S RIGHT, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

I OWE THAT SLIMEBALL A BUST TO THE CHOPS

FOR THE LAST TIME WE MET.

HE'S GONNA TRY RECRUITING JEREMY PENSER,

A BRILLIANT YOUNG SCIENTIST IN THE FIELD OF QUANTUM PHYSICS.

Dr. Mindbender: PENSER WILL BE AT THIS WEEKEND'S

WORLD SCIENCE-FICTION CONVENTION.

WE WANT TO SAVE PENSER AND CAPTURE DR. MINDBENDER,

BUT WE'LL BLOW OUR CHANCES IF WE SHOW UP IN FORCE.

SCIENCE FICTION, HUH?

THERE'S ONE JOE WHO COULD GET REAL CLOSE TO PENSER

WITH, HA, NOBODY NOTICING.

ALL RIGHT, SCI-FI. YOU AND ME ARE GOING

TO THE WORLD SCIENCE-FICTION CONVENTION.

UH-OH. SOMETHING TELLS ME

THIS IS GONNA BE A MITE STRENUOUS.

Slaughter: SCI-FI, THIS IS STUPID.

YOUR UNIFORM MAKES US STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB.

TRUST ME, SARGE, NOBODY WILL EVEN NOTICE.

NOBODY.

Man 1: WHERE'D YOU GET YOUR "FANTASTIC FOUR" NUMBER 28?

Man 2: I HEAR DASH JORDAN IS GONNA LECTURE.

THE SEQUEL TO "THE ATTACK OF THE TURNIPS"

WILL BE OUT NEXT MONTH.

UNBELIEVABLE. AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE WEIRD.

COME ON. LET'S LOCATE PENSER. HE'S IN THIS MESS SOMEWHERE.

LIKE, YOU KNOW, I READ ALL YOUR BOOKS, MR. PENSER.

YOU SURE ARE BRIGHT. [ CRASH ]

Penser: TIMOTHY, YOU CLUMSY OAF!

UH, YES, WELL, SORRY, JEREMY.

YOU SEE, I WAS GOING AROUND TO ALL THE DEALERS' TABLES.

AND LOOK WHAT I GOT.

DRIVEL!

I UNDERSTAND, JEREMY. CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING?

I KNOW -- LET ME PUSH YOUR CHAIR, OKAY?

I DON'T WANT TO BE PUSHED, YOU DOLT!

JUST KEEP THE HOI POLLOI AT ARM'S LENGTH.

YOU CAN DO THAT, CAN'T YOU?

OH, SURE, JEREMY. I CAN DO THAT.

UH, JEREMY? WHAT'S "HOI POLLOI"?

ALL OF THEM!

[ CLICK ]

ZARANA TO DR. MINDBENDER.

JEREMY PENSER IS AT THE EXHIBIT.

NO BODYGUARDS EXCEPT HIS DUM-DUM KID BROTHER AND -- BLIMEY!

TWO JOES!

JOES? DISTRACT THEM WHILE I CONTACT PENSER.

[ CACKLING ]

THEY LET THESE BOZOS RUN AROUND WITHOUT ANY KEEPERS?

HEY!

WATCH IT!

EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.

OH, YOU DROPPED SOMETHING.

I'LL GET IT FOR YOU.

HEY, THIS IS AUTOGRAPHED BY JEREMY PENSER.

WHERE IS HE?

HE'S AUTOGRAPHING HIS BOOKS IN THE MAIN LOBBY,

YOU CLUMSY BOOB!

COME ON. LET'S GO.

DR. PENSER?

COBRA NEEDS YOU TO PERFECT THE VOLTRONIC GALAXIDOR.

MM, THAT WOULD BE AN INTERESTING CHALLENGE.

WAIT, JEREMY! I DON'T LIKE THE LOOKS OF THESE GUYS.

LET'S TELL THEM --

GO AWAY, TIMOTHY.

YEAH, GO READ SOME FUNNY BOOKS, MATE.

I WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP.

PENSER'S NOT HERE, SCI-FI.

WE'VE BEEN HAD, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

DR. MINDBENDER, I COULD PERFECT

YOUR VOLTRONIC GALAXIDOR, IF I WISH TO,

BUT I DON'T WISH TO.

WHY SQUANDER YOUR TALENTS WORKING FOR INFERIORS?

JOIN COBRA AND BE AMONG THE MASTERS.

SORRY. NOT INTERESTED.

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN WALKING?

HOW WOULD YOU DO THAT?

Slaughter: GANG WAY!

WE HAVE WAYS TO MAKE YOU WALK.

YOU'LL STAND TALL.

PEOPLE WILL STOP LOOKING DOWN ON YOU.

YOU'LL BE FREE, DR. PENSER.

YES -- PERFECT THE VOLTRONIC GALAXIDOR FOR COBRA, DR. PENSER,

AND THE WORLD WILL BE AT YOUR FEET.

SCI-FI, I'LL GET THEIR ATTENTION.

YOU GET PENSER.

YO-O-O, JOE!

[ GRUNTING ]

WHAT'S GOING ON?

OH, JUST ANOTHER BUNCH OF COSTUMED FANS PUTTING ON A SHOW.

Woman: OOH. LOOKS GRUESOME.

NAH, IT'S ALL REHEARSED.

COME ON!

[ GRUNTING ]

[ BOWLING PINS CLATTER ]

CHARMING FOLKS, DREADNOKS.

HUH? WHO ARE YOU?

NAME'S SCI-FI. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

[ GRUNTING ]

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

COME IN, THRASHER.

THE DREADNOKS NEED HELP -- BIG HELP!

[ GRUNTING ]

WHAT THE...?

[ RUMBLING ]

LET'S SEE HOW TOUGH YOU STAND AGAINST STEEL!

[ ENGINE RUMBLES ]

EXCUSE ME!

I SURE HOPE THIS WORKS.

[ GRUNTS ]

HELP COMING, SARGE!

WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, BOYS?

[ ENGINE REVS ]

[ BOTH SHOUT ]

[ CROWD GASPS ]

SAY, THEY ARE GOOD!

THE DEMONSTRATION AT LAST YEAR'S CONVENTION

WAS MUCH MORE REALISTIC.

SARGE!

SPREAD OUT!

[ SPECTATORS CHEER ]

IMPRESSIVE LIGHT SHOW!

WE BEST GET OUT, DR. MINDBENDER.

THESE BLOKES MAY HAVE REINFORCEMENTS.

PIN THEM DOWN A FEW MINUTES LONGER!

PENSER, IT'S NOW OR NEVER.

DO YOU WANT TO WALK OR NOT?

[ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT. COUNT ME IN.

BLASTED JUNK!

THIS'LL FIX YOU!

CAREFUL, YOU CLUMSY OAFS!

SHUT UP.

HEY, YOU LET MY BROTHER GO!

I'LL SAVE YOU, JEREMY.

TIMOTHY, NO!

TOODLE-OO, KID.

LET'S GO, THRASHER!

[ GRUNTS ]

[ BEEP ]

THEY GOT AWAY.

NOT QUITE.

I PLANTED A TRACKING DEVICE ON THEM. WE'LL FIND THEM.

THEN I WANT TO GO, TOO! THEY GOT MY BROTHER.

HE NEEDS ME.

YOU STAY HERE. THIS IS NO MISSION FOR CIVILIANS.

[ SIRENS WAIL ]

Officer: ALL RIGHT. HOLD EVERYTHING.

STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.

OKAY. HANDS UP, YOU TWO.

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR MALICIOUS VANDALISM.

CLIMB DOWN FROM THERE.

EXCUSE ME, OFFICERS, BUT WE'RE ON AN URGENT MISSION.

YEAH. SURE. EVERYONE'S ON AN URGENT MISSION.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S SEE SOME I.D. [ BEEP ]

COME ON. WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY. WHAT THE --

HEY, WE'VE GOT A RUNAWAY H.A.V.O.C.

WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? LET'S GO!

Officer: HEY, COME BACK HERE!

SORRY, NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!

STOP THIS H.A.V.O.C., WHOEVER YOU ARE!

WHY --

HIYA.

YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

T-TRYING TO HELP MY BROTHER.

WHEN THE POLICE SURROUNDED YOU, I SNUCK INTO THE CONTROLS,

AND, WELL, HERE WE ARE.

SARGE, MIGHT AS WELL TAKE HIM ALONG.

MAYBE HE CAN GET PENSER TO COME BACK.

BE CAREFUL, YOU IDIOTS!

WELCOME TO MY HUMBLE ABODE, DR. PENSER.

ANYTHING WE CAN DO TO MAKE YOUR STAY A PLEASANT ONE?

THE OPERATION TO RESTORE MY LEGS.

WILL BEGIN AFTER THE VOLTRONIC GALAXIDOR IS COMPLETED.

IT MUST BE READY FOR COBRA'S NEW FULL-OFFENSIVE.

[SIGHS] VERY WELL.

LET'S GET STARTED.

WELL, PENSER, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUR LATEST MASTERPIECE?

MASTERPIECE?

AT THIS SETTING, THE MODULATION

WILL ALWAYS CAUSE IT TO SELF-DESTRUCT.

WHAT MORON DESIGNED THIS?

MORON?

WELL, NEVER MIND THAT. CAN YOU FIX IT?

CAN I FIX IT?

[ Laughing ] MY BROTHER COULD FIX IT.

SO THIS IS DR. MINDBENDER'S SECRET WEAPONS LAB.

[ STATIC ]

THEY'RE JAMMING OUR RADIO --

CAN'T CALL HEADQUARTERS FOR HELP.

I DON'T NEED ANY HELP TO CLEAN MINDBENDER'S CLOCK.

[ CRACKLING ]

Timothy: JEREMY!

TIMOTHY!

WE'RE GONNA RESCUE YOU!

RESCUE ME FROM WHAT --

A LIFETIME CONFINED TO THIS BLASTED WHEELCHAIR?

Slaughter: COBRA'S JUST USING YOU, PENSER!

Sci-Fi: COME ON BACK WITH US.

CAN G.I. JOE PROMISE TO MAKE ME WALK?

UH...NO.

THEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER ME.

LEAVE, BEFORE I CALL THE GUARDS.

I'M YOUR BROTHER, JEREMY.

TAKE YOUR NEW FRIENDS AND GO.

YOU'RE SOMETHING ELSE.

YOU'D SELL MILLIONS DOWN THE RIVER JUST SO YOU CAN WALK.

WELL, WE'LL GO, BUT YOU'RE GOING WITH US.

[ ALARM BLARES ]

[ GRUNTS ]

LEAVE, TIMOTHY, BEFORE THEY CATCH YOU.

Men: COBRA!

[ CHOMPS ]

[ GRUNTING ]

CHEW ON THIS, DOG-BREATH!

COME ON.

GOING SO SOON, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER?

MINDBENDER.

I AIN'T FORGETTING WHAT YOU DID TO ME,

BUT I AIN'T GOT A LOT OF TIME RIGHT NOW!

THIS WILL HAVE TO DO

UNTIL I CAN COME BACK AND SETTLE THE SCORE.

OHH! STOP THEM!

YOU'RE THE DOCTOR.

COVER ME, SCI-FI!

OH! NOT BAD SHOOTING, MATE.

GUESS I NEED A DIFFERENT APPROACH.

IT'S HEADING STRAIGHT FOR US!

[ LAUGHS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

[ CRASH ]

THOSE THREE BLOODY DINGOES ARE TRAPPED IN THE TARGET AREA,

DR. MINDBENDER.

EXCELLENT.

WE'LL TEST BOTH THE VOLTRONIC GALAXIDOR AND DR. PENSER.

IF HE CAN REALLY GO THROUGH WITH IT,

HE'S FIT COBRA MATERIAL.

AND IF THE LITTLE TWITCH CAN'T?

DISPOSE OF HIM, ZARANA -- IMMEDIATELY.

WE'D BETTER GET MOVING.

BUT -- BUT WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE JEREMY.

I DON'T INTEND TO. WE'LL FIND YOUR BROTHER.

NOW LET'S GET GOING.

AH, VERY GOOD.

PROCEED WITH THE TEST, DR. PENSER.

BUT MY BROTHER IS OUT THERE!

YOU YOURSELF SAID HE WAS AN INFERIOR.

COBRA HAS NO USE FOR HIM

OR FOR EMOTIONAL WEAKNESS, DR. PENSER.

I-I...UNDERSTAND, DR. MINDBENDER.

Slaughter: HIT THE DIRT!

THE VOLTRONIC GALAXIDOR!

FIRE! FULL-EFFECT!

WHY ARE YOU DAWDLING?

I'M TRYING.

DESTROY THEM!

NOW!

NO. I WON'T DO IT!

THEN I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

[ CLICK ] [ SHOUTS ]

[ CLUNK ]

[ BEEPING ]

OOH! SABOTEUR! YOU STARTED AN OVERLOAD!

DO YOU THINK THAT MORONIC BROTHER OF YOURS

IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR LEGS?

[ GROANING ]

MOVE, YOU MANGY MUTTS!

TO THE SWAMPFIRES!

[ BEEP ]

ATTACK!

OUTGUNNED, OUTMANNED.

HA-HA-HA! I LOVE IT!

W-WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS?

GET RID OF IT!

[ GRUNTS ]

[ SCREAMS ]

GO GET JEREMY! I'LL HANDLE THESE BOZOS!

[ CLICK ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]

YOU'LL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

REGRETTING YOUR RASH ACTION, DR. PENSER.

YOU HAVE LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES.

NO!

UP THERE!

[ GROANING ]

OH, TIMOTHY!

YEP, IT'S ME. LET'S GO.

[ EXPLOSION ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]

[ RUMBLING ]

[ CRACKLING, RUMBLING CONTINUE ]

CONSIDER YOURSELF FLATTERED, TIMOTHY.

I GAVE UP THE VOLTRONIC GALAXIDOR JUST FOR YOU.

WELL, YOU'RE A GRATEFUL GUS.

OH, THAT'S OKAY, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

HE'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT,

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE'S TRYING TO SAY "THANKS."

TIMOTHY, BE QUIET.