Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

Slip Stream: SCRATCH ONE COBRA WEAPONS LAB.

HEY, COMPADRES, WE GOT THOSE SNAKES ON THE RUN.

WELL, YOU JUST HOLD ON, SLIP STREAM,

AND WE'LL SEE IF THESE HERE SNAKES CAN CRAWL, AS WELL.

YEE-HOO!

LOOK AT THOSE BELLY-FLOPS!

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHAT A HOT DOG.

BUT HE GETS THE JOB DONE.

LET'S GO STOMP SOME SNAKES!

All: YO-O-O JOE!

[ LAUGHING ]

THOSE SNAKES SHOULD HAVE BEEN STRATO-VIPERS

'CAUSE THEY FLY REAL GOOD.

Leatherneck: OKAY, YOU COBRA FINKS, INTO THE TRUCK!

HEY, JARHEAD,

NEED HELP COUNTING THOSE WEAPONS TECHNICIANS?

THERE'S MORE THAN 20 OF THEM.

YOU CAN'T USE YOUR FINGERS AND YOUR TOES.

MAYBE I'LL COUNT THEM WITH YOUR TEETH, FISH BRAIN!

HEY, LEATHERNECK, THIS CAME SPECIAL DELIVERY

JUST BEFORE WE TOOK OFF!

THAT SPECIAL ENOUGH FOR YA?

[ LAUGHING ]

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?

[ CHUCKLES ]

LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO

WITHOUT THIS OLD MARINE FOR A WHILE, SQUID BOY.

THIS I GOT TO SEE.

"CORDIALLY INVITED TO BE THE GUEST OF HONOR

AT OUR GRADUATION EXERCISES."

[ LAUGHING ] I LOVE IT!

YOU'RE GONNA BABYSIT A BUNCH OF --

CADETS WHO MIGHT SOMEDAY HAVE THE GLORY OF BECOMING MARINES.

BEST OF ALL, I CAN STOP THERE ON MY WAY

TO PARRIS ISLAND MARINE BASE FOR THEIR GRADUATION CEREMONY.

♪ FROM THE HALLS OF MONTEZUMA

♪ YA BA BUM, BUM, BI BUM BUM

YES, SIR! CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?

SERGEANT METZGER HERE FOR THE GRADUATION CEREMONIES.

WE'RE EXPECTING YOU, SIR.

GO LEFT, GO LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT!

Both: WELCOME TO C.E.C. MILITARY ACADEMY, SIR.

CADET MIKE P. RANDALL AT YOUR SERVICE, SIR.

CADET SHEILA McDERMITT.

WE ARE YOU LIAISON OFFICERS, SIR.

WELL, I GUESS THE FIRST THING WE BETTER DO

IS SEE YOUR COMMANDER.

Both: YES, SIR!

[ CHUCKLES ]

HIYA, SARGE.

SURPRISED TO SEE ME?

McCANN -- BUCK McCANN.

WHY, I'M PERSONALLY GONNA HAUL YOUR UGLY FACE

INTO THE STOCKADE!

DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE NOT GLAD TO SEE ME?

[ GRUNTING ]

CALL THE COPS!

THIS PITIFUL EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING IS AN ESCAPED CRIMINAL!

[ CHUCKLES ]

NEVER GONNA HAPPEN, SARGE.

HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED?

COBRA.

WHY, YOU'RE ALL COBRAS!

[ ALL GRUNTING ]

TEMPER, TEMPER, SARGE.

OUR GUEST IS TIRED.

TAKE HIM TO HIS ROOM.

RIGHT FACE! FORWARD, MARCH!

HOW'S IT GOING, BEACH HEAD? PRETTY GOOD.

THEY REMEMBER MOST OF THEIR CLOSE-ORDER DRILL.

YOU DON'T NEED CLOSE-ORDER DRILL TO FIGHT COBRA.

WELL, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO PROVIDE AN HONOR GUARD

AT THE PARRIS ISLAND GRADUATION CEREMONY.

I KNOW. IT'S A SPECIAL REQUEST BY THE MARINE COMMANDANT.

HIS GRANDSON'S GRADUATING.

STOW THAT SMIRK, McCANN.

YOU DON'T SMILE UNLESS I ORDER YOU TO SMILE.

DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!

SEE THAT? McCANN GOT A PERFECT SCORE.

NOT TOO SHABBY.

BETTER THAN YOUR TOP SCORE, AS I RECALL.

WELL, THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE,

BUT THAT BOOT JUST BROKE YOUR COURSE RECORD, LEATHERNECK.

ALL RIGHT, MEN -- LET'S MOVE IT!

THAT MAN IS ONE OF THE FINEST MARINES I'VE EVER SEEN.

EXCELLENT OFFICER MATERIAL.

McCANN'S GOT THE POTENTIAL, SIR.

JUST HOPE HE CAN LIVE UP TO THE RESPONSIBILITIES.

COME ON!

TAKE ME, TAKE ME!

[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

YOU BROKE HIS ARM, MORON!

HEY, CAN I HELP IT IF YOUR PAL IS DELICATE?

YOU LIKE HURTING PEOPLE, McCANN.

WHO? ME?

COME ON. I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE INFIRMARY.

AAH!

[ LAUGHING ]

McCANN.

YEAH, SARGE?

HOW ABOUT THIS FOR A GOOD LAUGH?

50 LAPS AROUND THE PARADE GROUND!

BUT --

NOW, MAGGOT!

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

ENTER.

PRIVATE McCANN REPORTING, SARGE.

McCANN, THAT WAS A MEAN TRICK YOU PULLED OUT THERE TODAY.

BUT, SARGE -- I DON'T REMEMBER

GIVING YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK.

THAT STUNT COST YOU MY RECOMMENDATION FOR O.C.S.

THE MARINE CORPS NEEDS MEN FOR LEADERS, NOT BULLIES.

NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I CHUCK YOU INTO THE BRIG.

THAT'S IT, BOYS.

ONE MORE ROCKET LAUNCHER

AND WE CAN SET UP BUSINESS FOR OURSELVES.

BUCK McCANN.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

WHY, SARGE, WHAT A NICE SURPRISE.

YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR MY FAREWELL PARTY.

WELL, HATE TO STEAL AND RUN, SARGE, BUT I'M LATE!

PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS, SARGE.

STILL WONDERING WHY YOU'RE HERE?

BUCK.

WHY, YOU DIRTY --

[ CHOKING ]

DOWN, BOY.

IT'S GRADUATION DAY AT C.E.C. ACADEMY,

AND YOU'RE OUR GUEST OF HONOR -- OR SHOULD I SAY

"TARGET" OF HONOR.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

WELL, SARGE, READY FOR SOME EXERCISE?

WHY, YOU --

EASY, SARGE.

THIS IS GONNA BE FUN.

CADET RANDALL, RELIEVE HIM OF THOSE HANDCUFFS.

I'M GIVING YOU A FULL FIVE MINUTES

BEFORE MY CADETS GO AFTER YOU.

AND, SARGE, THEY DON'T PLAY NICE.

YOU BETTER PACK FOR A LONG STAY IN INTENSIVE CARE, LOWLIFE,

'CAUSE WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOUR CUB SCOUTS,

I'M COMING AFTER YOU.

5 SECONDS WASTED, SARGE.

I'LL BE BACK.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

ALL RIGHT, AFTER HIM!

BUT YOU SAID 5 MINUTES, SIR.

[ LAUGHS ]

I LIED.

COBRA!

[ RACCOON CHITTERING ]

IT'S NOT RIGHT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, RANDALL?

YOU DON'T ENJOY THE THRILL OF THE HUNT?

THAT'S NOT AN ANIMAL OUT THERE.

THAT OLD MARINE DESERVES SOME RESPECT.

YOU SEEM TO FORGET -- HE IS THE ENEMY.

HEY, DIAL TONE, YOU HEARD FROM LEATHERNECK YET?

UH, NO, BEACH HEAD. SURE DIDN'T.

HE KNOWS HE'S SUPPOSED TO CALL IN

ONCE EVERY 24 HOURS WHEN ON LEAVE.

I OUGHT TO WRITE HIM UP.

YOU'RE THE SECOND ONE TO ASK ABOUT HIM.

WET SUIT ASKED ABOUT HIM AN HOUR AGO.

JUST TELL HIM WHEN HE CALLS IN

THAT HE'S EXPECTED AT THE PARRIS ISLAND CEREMONY.

HEY, SONNY BOY...

BEDDY-BYE TIME.

YAH!

YOU LEAKY-NOSED PUNKS LOOKING FOR ME?

All: COBRA!

YO-O-O JOE!

JUST A LITTLE POP QUIZ.

GUESS YOU ALL FLUNKED.

YOU BLIND PANTYWAIST!

YOU MISSED!

NOW, THIS TIME, DO IT RIGHT.

HE'S HEADING FOR THE RAPIDS.

TAKE YOUR MEN, CIRCLE AROUND THE NORTH BANK.

OH, WE GOT HIM NOW.

CHECK THE RIVER! SEE IF HE'S UNDERWATER!

THE CURRENT'S TOO STRONG!

ONLY A LUNATIC WOULD TRY THAT!

[ CHUCKLES ] SHE'S RIGHT --

I MAY BE FOOLISH, BUT I AIN'T NUTS!

OHH!

HELP ME!

AW, NERTS.

[ PANTING ]

SOMEBODY HELP ME!

[ GRUNTING ]

HANG ON!

FOOL.

IF OUR POSITIONS WERE REVERSED, I WOULD HAVE LET YOU DROWN!

YOU'RE WELCOME.

WELL, VERY GALLANT OF YOU, SARGE.

YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED.

MAYBE, BUT IT WON'T STOP ME FROM --

AAH!

WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW KICKS?

SARGE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

[ GROANS ]

WH-WHERE AM I?

Serpentor: THEY LOOK TOUGH, BUT CAN THEY FIGHT?

LET'S JUST SAY, YOUR HIGHNESS,

THE ONES WHO COULDN'T AREN'T HERE TODAY.

OH. HMM.

GEE, SARGE, DID WE WAKE YOU?

I'M SORRY.

NOT AS SORRY AS YOU'LL BE WHEN I REARRANGE YOUR FACE!

NICE TO SEE YOU HAVEN'T LOST YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.

YOU KNOW, IT REMINDS ME OF A FUNNY STORY.

IT'S ABOUT THIS JERK OF A MARINE...

WHO ALWAYS SAID HE'D DIE

BEFORE LETTING ANYONE TARNISH HIS CORPS' GOOD NAME.

HE WAS ESPECIALLY SENTIMENTAL ABOUT PARRIS ISLAND BOOT CAMP,

WHERE HE BECAME A MAN AND A MARINE.

YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW THAT KIND OF A MAN WOULD FEEL

IF PARRIS ISLAND WAS OVERRUN BY ENEMY TROOPS

AND THEN DESTROYED BY MASSIVE EXPLOSIONS.

HILARIOUS, HUH, SARGE?

WHY, YOU SLIMY CREEP.

SAVE YOUR STRENGTH.

YOU'LL NEED IT.

'CAUSE WE HAVE A DATE --

YOU, ME, COBRA,

AND SOME FIREWORKS PARRIS ISLAND WILL NEVER FORGET.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

COME ON! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!

NOTHING LIKE A LITTLE MUSIC TO LIVEN THINGS UP, EH, SARGE?

CADETS ALL LOADED FOR PARRIS ISLAND, SIR.

PERFECTO.

GET IN THE BUS.

I GOT A LAST-MINUTE DETAIL TO ATTEND TO.

WELL, THIS IS IT. NERVOUS, SHEILA?

NERVOUS? HA! I CAN'T WAIT.

NOW, LISTEN, YOU GREENHORNS.

LEATHERNECK WILL PROBABLY TRY TO BUST OUT OF THIS JOINT,

SO DON'T LET HIM ESCAPE.

'CAUSE IF HE DOES, I'LL MAKE MINCEMEAT

OUT OF THE BOTH OF YOU.

IS THAT CLEAR?

Both: VERY CLEAR, SIR!

[ CRASHING ]

UH-OH. NOT ALREADY.

HE GOT AWAY!

WAIT A MINUTE.

THE GLASS IS BROKEN, BUT THE BARS ARE INTACT.

WHERE -- WHERE COULD HE HAVE GONE?

[ ALARM BLARING ]

HMM. FIVE MINUTES. MUST BE SOME NEW ESCAPE RECORD.

WANT ME TO FINISH HIM ONCE AND FOR ALL?

NOPE. I WAS EXPECTING THIS.

WE'LL JUST SIC THE DOGS ON HIM.

DOESN'T A WARRIOR LIKE LEATHERNECK

DESERVE A BETTER FATE THAN THAT?

OH, PLEASE! SAVE ME THE SOB STORY.

Sheila: BUT WHAT IF HE EVADES THE DOGS?

Buck: A POSSIBILITY, BUT NOT TO WORRY.

I'VE ALREADY PLANTED AN ESCAPED-LUNATIC STORY.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ DOG GROWLING ]

[ DOGS BARKING ]

HYAH!

HYAH!

[ BARKING CONTINUES ]

WHAT?! YOU SOME KIND OF WEIRDO, BOY?!

NO WEIRDO, MISTER.

JUST A MEMBER OF G.I. JOE -- A JOE WHO NEEDS HELP.

YEAH. AND I'M ONE OF THE OAK RIDGE BOYS.

I HEARD ON THE C.B. ABOUT THEM POOR ORDERLIES YOU ALL CRIPPLED

WHEN YOU ESCAPED FROM THAT NUTHOUSE.

NUTHOUSE?

MISTER, ALL I WANT TO DO IS GET TO PARRIS ISLAND.

NOT ANOTHER WORD, PARTNER, TILL WE GET TO A PHONE.

WONDER WHERE LEATHERNECK IS.

HE HASN'T CALLED IN IN AGES.

YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT LEATHERNECK?

[ LAUGHS ] THAT'S A FIRST.

HE'S LONG OVERDUE.

[ LAUGHS ]

IF HE DOESN'T OWE YOU MONEY, FORGET IT.

MAYBE HE WENT TO PARRIS ISLAND AHEAD OF US.

HOW ABOUT STOPPING FOR LUNCH, ZANDAR?

NO WAY! IF WE HADN'T STOPPED FOR BREAKFAST,

WE'D BE AT PARRIS ISLAND BY NOW!

Leatherneck: JUST WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO WITH ME, MISTER?

THERE'S A NICE RUBBER ROOM WAITING FOR YOU

JUST DOWN THE ROAD A PIECE, PARTNER.

YAAH!

YO-O-O JOE!

AFTER HIM! NOBODY STEALS MY BIKE!

WE GONNA LEAVE FOR PARRIS ISLAND WITHOUT LEATHERNECK?

GOT TO. TIME'S RUNNING OUT.

YAAH!

PARRIS ISLAND.

LET'S HOP TO IT!

Buck: YOU CADETS, CHECK OUT YOUR WEAPONS.

NERVOUS, MIKE?

UM, NO. N-NOT REALLY.

WE'RE ALMOST THERE.

[ GRUNTS ] CLOSE TO EMPTY.

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

GOOD AFTERNOON, SIR.

[ CHUCKLES ]

NO. GOOD NIGHT, SON.

SLEEP TIGHT.

[ GROANS ]

HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON?!

[ GROANS ]

I DON'T SEE THAT JARHEAD ANYWHERE.

AIN'T LIKE THE GYRENE NOT TO BE SEEN,

ESPECIALLY SINCE WE GOT THE BIG-DADDY MARINE.

QUIET IN THE RANKS.

TRY TO ACT LIKE PROFESSIONAL SOLDIERS, EVEN IF YOU AREN'T.

Sheila: THAT'S THE LAST CHARGE.

THIS WILL DETONATE THEM, SIR.

GOOD. NOW LET'S STRIKE UP THE BAND.

AS USUAL, WE'RE GONNA MISS ALL THE EXCITEMENT.

CADET, YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET ENOUGH EXCITEMENT

TO LAST A LIFETIME!

[ CHUCKLES ] THIS IS A LITTLE LESS EMBARRASSING.

ALL RIGHT, HIT IT!

[ MARCHING BAND PLAYS ]

WHAT?!

HEY, WHAT GIVES?

YEAH. WHAT'S WITH THE BAND?

THIS IS A MILITARY CEREMONY.

SHOWTIME! COBRA!

All: COBRA!

WHAT THE --

HEY!

DUCK!

HOLD YOUR FIRE!

THEY GOT THE COMMANDANT!

SMART MOVE, JOES.

ANY HEROICS AND -- BOOM! -- NO MORE PARRIS ISLAND.

WE'RE TAKING THE COMMANDANT WITH US.

SERPENTOR WILL BE TELLING YOU

HOW MUCH IT WILL COST TO GET HIM BACK.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

UNH!

BYE-BYE, SARGE! NO!

WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!

YOU CAN'T JUST --

[ MOTORCYCLES APPROACHING ]

YO-O-O JOE!

COME BACK, McCANN! I WANT A PIECE OF YOU!

YOU'RE A TRAITOR AND A SLEAZEBALL

AND THE WORST MARINE I EVER MET!

AND YOU'RE GONNA BE THE SORRIEST MARINE I EVER MET!

HYAH!

YOU CAN'T BEAT ME, SARGE!

AAH!

I'M TOUGHER! I'M SMARTER!

I'M YOUNGER!

HANG ON! THIS IS A PERSONAL SCORE

LEATHERNECK WANTS TO SETTLE.

BUCK IS LOSING!

Sheila: NO! COBRA IS STRONG.

WE CAN'T BE BEATEN.

WE ARE.

YOU MADE ONE MISTAKE, BUCKO --

I MAY BE OLDER...

BUT I'M BETTER.

BUCK! YOU CAN'T LET HIM BEAT YOU!

FIGHT BACK! COME ON!

HE WAS ALWAYS FULL OF HOT AIR.

NO REAL BACKBONE OR CHARACTER.

THAT'S A LIE!

EASY, GIRL!

COBRA IS STRONG!

COBRA WILL BE VICTORIOUS!

YOU'LL SEE!

YOU'LL SEE!

SOME OF THEM NEVER LEARN.

NOPE.

SOME OF THEM NEVER DO.

IT'S THE ONES WE CAN HELP

THAT GET US OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING.

ALL RIGHT.