Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR

♪ G.I. JOE

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME FOR AMERICA'S DARING,

HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE

Okay, heroes.

Keep your eyeballs peeled.

THAT COBRA MESSAGE WE INTERCEPTED

SAID A WHOLE SQUADRON OF NIGHT RAVENS

WAS HEADING THIS WAY.

Duke, why would Serpentor

order crack Strato-Vipers to the Caribbean?

MAYBE THE BIG SNAKE'S TREATING HIS BOYS

TO A LITTLE R&R, SCARLETT.

DEAD ON.

I WOULDN'T MIND A FEW DAYS IN THE SUMMER SUN MYSELF,

LIKE THOSE HAPPY FOLKS DOWN THERE.

[ Chuckles ]

Man, that's what I call "living."

[ JET ENGINES ROAR ]

[ HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING ]

UH-OH.

THAT'S WHAT I CALL "TROUBLE."

[ ALARM BEEPING ]

Ravens at 4:00!

[ LASER FIRE, INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

ATTACK PLAN "B"!

ALL: Yo-o-o, Joe!

LIFELINE: Drop down to wave top.

I'm tossing those Vipers a lifesaver.

YOU NUTS, LIFELINE?!

COME OFF IT, LIFT TICKET.

I'm a medic.

YOU SHOOT THEM DOWN, I BAIL THEM OUT.

I'M ZEROED ON THE JOE LEADER.

MAN: Covered, dear brother.

Uh-oh.

Blackbirds on Duke's tail.

[ Chuckles ]

Now we've got you!

Yo-o-o, Joe!

NO!

AAAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAH!

TOMAX!

THAT'S ONE CRIMSON GUARD COMMANDER

WHO JUST EARNED HIS FLIGHT PAY THE HARD WAY.

[ BEEPING ]

DAD! LOOK OUT!

MAN 1: DIVE FOR IT!

MAN 2: WE'RE SINKING!

AAAH!

WHO-- WHO ARE YOU, AND...?

[ GRUNTS ]

[ ALL SPUTTERING ]

WHERE-- WHERE?

MY YACHT!

YOU SUNK MY YACHT!

OH, FORGET THE YACHT, DADDY!

DON'T YOU SEE?

HE SAVED OUR LIVES!

[ GRUNTING, SPUTTERING ]

MA'AM, PLEASE!

XAMOT TO RAVEN TASK FORCE.

Return to base.

Mission accomplished.

VAN MARK: I SUSPECT AN INDUSTRIAL SABOTAGE

OF SEVERAL OF MY BAHAMIAN FACTORIES.

JEALOUS BUSINESS RIVALS, I SUPPOSED--

BUT NOT THIS.

IT'S LIKE A WAR.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS, MR. VAN MARK--

A WAR BETWEEN COBRA AND THE WORLD.

YEAH, AND YOU SEEM TO BE CAUGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE.

BUT THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

THIS WAS JUST A COCONUT-MILK-BOTTLING OPERATION,

A MINOR COG IN VAN MARK INDUSTRIES.

LIFELINE! WAIT UP!

I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR SAVING DADDY AND ME.

OH, I, UH...AM JUST DOING MY JOB, MISS VAN MARK.

OH, BROTHER.

PLEASE, CALL ME "BREE."

MY NAME'S BRITTANY,

BUT EVERYONE CALLS ME "BREE."

YOU WERE SO BRAVE.

NO. THEY'RE THE BRAVE ONES.

THEY FOUGHT THAT FIRE IN YOUR FATHER'S PLANT,

AND RIGHT NOW THEY NEED HELP.

SO, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME...

OH...SURE.

WE CAN TALK SOME OTHER TIME.

OH, WOW!

YOU HAD A G.I. JOE CONQUEST SQUADRON IN YOUR SIGHTS,

AND YOU LET THEM ESCAPE?!

BUT, SERPENTOR...

WE ACCOMPLISHED...

BOTH: OUR PRIMARY MISSION.

I WANT VAN MARK OUT OF BUSINESS--

NOW! NOW! NOW!

OH, GREAT SERPENTOR, WE PROMISE...

VAN MARK WILL SELL HIS BUSINESS TO COBRA BY WEEK'S END.

SEE THAT THE JOES DON'T INTERFERE,

OR IT WILL BE YOU CRIMSON GUARD COMMANDERS WHO PAY THE PRICE!

[ LAUGHS ]

IT'S FOOLISH TO MAKE PROMISES

YOU CANNOT KEEP, BOYS.

BARONESS, WE HAVE A PLAN...

THAT GUARANTEES OUR VICTORY.

WHERE THE JOES ARE INVOLVED,

NO VICTORY IS EVER GUARANTEED.

THERE YOU GO, JUNKYARD.

IN A FEW DAYS, YOU'LL BE AS GOOD AS NEW.

[ LAUGHS ]

OKAY, BOY. OKAY.

THAT'S ENOUGH.

WELL, YOU MUST BE MR. POPULARITY TODAY.

THIS JUST CAME FOR YOU BY AIR COURIER.

THE RETURN ADDRESS IS TIFFANY'S,

NEW YORK.

A PLATINUM SWISS ARMY KNIFE?

WELL, WHO'D SEND ME SOMETHING LIKE THIS?

"TO LIFELINE,

"THE BRAVEST AND MOST MODEST MAN I EVER MET.

LOVE FOREVER...BREE"?

[ LAUGHS ]

LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A RICH MEAL TICKET, CHUM.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I CAN'T ACCEPT A GIFT LIKE THIS.

WELL, I GOT TO RETURN IT.

CAN YOU GIVE ME A LIFT INTO NEW YORK?

YOU'RE GONNA GIVE IT BACK?!

ARE YOU CRAZY?!

NO, I'M NOT, LIFT TICKET.

NOW, LOOK, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HELP ME, I--

OKAY. OKAY.

I'LL BUZZ YOU UP TO NEW YORK.

BUT I WANT TO BE THERE WHEN YOU GIVE IT BACK.

VAN MARK: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! YOU CAN'T BREAK IN HERE!

I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED!

I'M OWEN VAN MARK, AND--

[ GRUNTS ]

WE KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE,

MR. VAN MARK!

[ GRUNTS ]

BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE?

WE'RE THE NEW OWNERS...

OF VAN MARK INDUSTRIES.

BOTH: YOU'RE GOING TO SELL US YOUR COMPANY.

I'LL FIND A PARKING SPACE, BUT REMEMBER,

DON'T START THE FIREWORKS WITHOUT ME!

GIVE ME A BREAK, LIFT TICKET!

[ ENGINE RUMBLES ]

MISS VAN MARK, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

BREE?

BREE!

[ GRUNTS ]

[ ALL GRUNT ]

YOU CREEPS!

YOU'RE IN TROUBLE NOW!

LIFELINE WILL MOP THE FLOOR WITH YOU!

BREE, I'M A MEDIC.

MY JOB IS HEALING.

THEN HEAL THIS, WIMP!

[ LAUGHTER ] LIFELINE!

[ Crying ] HELP! COME ON.

WE'VE GOT VAN MARK... AND HIS DAUGHTER.

NOW LET'S GET...

BOTH: OUT OF HERE.

SO, IS THIS A PRIVATE PARTY,

OR CAN ANYONE DANCE?

[ CHAIN SAW BUZZING ]

MY FLOOR!

MY HOUSE!

MY WALLS!

ALL: AAAAAAH!

THEY'RE GONE!

HAD ENOUGH FUN, I GUESS.

[ LAUGHS ]

BEST BRAWL I'VE HAD ALL WEEK.

HOW IS EVERYONE?

OH, EVERYONE'S FINE, THANKS TO LIFELINE.

THANKS TO LIFELINE?

IT'S A GOOD THING YOU SHOWED UP.

WHY'D YOU COME TO SEE ME?

OH, UH, I ALMOST FORGOT.

IT'S ABOUT YOUR GIFT.

OH, NO!

SO, IT'S BROKEN.

THAT'S OKAY. I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER.

B-B-BUT, BREE, I DON'T WANT ANOTHER.

OKAY.

NO MORE PLATINUM PEN KNIVES.

I'LL GET YOU SOMETHING ELSE EVEN NICER.

GO AHEAD, HEAL.

TELL HER YOU DON'T WANT HER GIFTS.

GO ON. BREAK HER HEART.

[ Giggling ] LIFELINE.

YOU SILLY!

UH, YEAH.

WHERE ARE VAN MARK AND THE GIRL?!

WE CAPTURED THEM, SIRE, BUT THE JOES...

RESCUED THEM.

THEN YOU HAVE FAILED COBRA, AND WORSE--

YOU...HAVE

FAILED...ME!

SERPENTOR, NOT A COMPLETE FAILURE.

AFTER ALL, THEY DISCOVERED THE ROMANCE

BETWEEN BRITTANY VAN MARK AND ONE OF THE JOES.

WE CAN USE THIS TO DESTROY JOE HEADQUARTERS

AND CAPTURE THE VAN MARK GIRL IN ONE COBRA STRIKE.

YES! TAKE WHATEVER YOU NEED, BARONESS,

BUT NO MORE FAILURES!

AS YOU COMMAND, SIRE.

IT WILL BE DONE.

WELL, LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN.

IS THAT A SORRY SIGHT OR WHAT?

OH-OH-OH, LOOK AT HIM!

[ LAUGHS ]

EASE OFF, SHIPWRECK.

THAT THERE IS NOT A HAPPY MAN.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM, LIFELINE.

I'M WEARING IT.

BREE VAN MARK SENT ME THIS NEW UNIFORM,

AND SHE WON'T STOP SENDING ME PRESENTS.

IF YOU DON'T WANT ALL THIS STUFF,

JUST TELL HER.

YOU'LL HURT HER MORE IF YOU HIDE THE TRUTH.

HEY, PAL, BREE'S AT THE GATE

WITH A FLEET OF PINK ROLLS-ROYCE AMBULANCES,

AND SHE SAYS THEY'RE ALL FOR YOU.

OH, NO! BRITTANY!

[ BEEPING ] EXCELLENT.

THE GUARDS LET HER IN WITHOUT SEARCHING THE AMBULANCES.

WON'T THEY... BE SURPRISED?

UH, BREE, YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS.

I LIKE GIVING YOU GIFTS, LIFELINE.

BUT I'VE TOLD YOU, I-I--

[ SMOOCHES ]

THIS IS THE BEST GIFT YET!

AND WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT'S UNDER THAT TARP.

AND LOOK IN HERE.

[ GRUNTS ]

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

COBRA BATS!

HOW DID THEY GET IN YOUR AMBULANCES?

I DON'T KNOW.

THEY SURE WEREN'T PART OF MY ORDER.

FALL BACK TO THE AIRFIELD!

I'LL COVER YOU!

[ GRUNTS ]

MAN: WE'VE GOT A FULL-SCALE AIR ATTACK.

[ BOMBS WHISTLING ]

LOOK OUT!

WE BETTER HIT THE SKY FAST!

Cobra ground units, attack!

IT WON'T BE LONG NOW.

G.I. JOE IS ABOUT TO BECOME HISTORY!

[ BEEPING ]

Move out!

THIS IS MY FAULT!

BUT I'M GOING TO MAKE IT RIGHT!

BREE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

LIFELINE: GOLD?

24-KARAT GOLD PLATE--

LASER-PROOF AND AS SOLID AS FORT KNOX.

WE'LL TAKE HER UP AND DRAW THE AIRFIRE FROM THE JOES,

OKAY, LIFELINE?

GOOD PLAN! BUT LET ME HANDLE THIS SOLO!

NO WAY!

[ BEEPING ]

[ ENGINE POWERING UP ]

YOU CAN FLY, TOO?!

THERE'S A LOT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME, LIFELINE.

MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU'LL TAKE THE TIME TO FIND OUT.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU? LASER-PROOF!

BREE, THE AIRSTRIP! WE'RE TOO LOW!

ALL THIS GOLD PLATING MAY MAKE US LASER-PROOF,

BUT IT ALSO MAKES US TOO HEAVY TO FLY!

WHAT THE...? THAT BOZO IN THE GOLD CHOPPER

IS BLOCKING THE RUNWAY!

I CAN'T TAKE OFF!

MAN: Jump, Scarlett!

WHO IS THAT PILOT?

IT'S THAT CIVILIAN, BRITTANY VAN MARK, WITH LIFELINE.

DIAL TONE, BEACH HEAD,

SECURE THOSE MUTTONHEADS ON THE DOUBLE-- NOW!

MOVE IT! MOVE IT!

NOT AGAIN!

HEAD FOR THE TRENCHES!

BREE: LIFELINE, WE'RE GONNA CRASH!

LIFELINE, MANEUVER 4-- NOW!

JUMP! AAAAH!

OH, NICE WORK, LADY.

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?

COBRA'S?

ALL: AAAAAH!

COME ON! MOVE IT!

[ ALL BREATHING HEAVILY ]

LEASTWAYS, OUR CHOPPERS GOT OFF.

CHOPPERS AGAINST JETS?

THEY'LL BE MASSACRED!

NOT QUITE, LITTLE LADY.

TAKE A GANDER.

MAN 1: COBRA! MAN 2: YO-O-O, JOE!

WOW! SOME SHOOTIN'!

YEAH, IF YOU'RE INTO VIOLENCE.

ALL: YO-O-O, JOE!

JOE GROUND ARTILLERY'S...

PUSHING BACK OUR ARMOR UNITS!

BOTH: WE MUST RETREAT!

NOOOO!

BLAST! WE WERE SO CLOSE!

WE WILL CRUSH YOU ANOTHER DAY,

G.I. JOE!

DUKE, COBRA'S RETREATING!

YOU WANT US TO FOLLOW?

NEGATIVE, COVER GIRL.

WITH OUR JETS BLOCKED IN,

YOU WON'T HAVE ENOUGH AIR COVER.

THIS CRASH COULDN'T HAVE SERVED COBRA BETTER

IF THEY DID IT ON PURPOSE, AND WHEN YOU ADD THE BATS...

YEAH. IT MAKES YOU WONDER IF OWEN VAN MARK AND BREE

ARE VICTIMS OR COLLABORATORS.

BREE! BREE! WAIT!

WELL, I SEE YOU DITCHED THE CRUMMY UNIFORM I BOUGHT YOU.

[ SIGHS ] BREE, I-- IT WASN'T CRUMMY.

IT-- WELL, I-IT'S LIKE THE GOLD-PLATED CHOPPER.

YOU MEANT WELL, BUT YOU--

[ SIGHS ] EVERYTHING I DO BACKFIRES!

THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF NO ONE EVER SAW ME AGAIN!

BREE! BREE!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

BREE: LEAVING YOU ALONE!

BREE! PUT IT DOWN!

PUT IT DOWN!

WHATEVER YOU SAY, DARLING,

ONLY I'LL DECIDE WHERE.

COME ON, BREE! A JOKE'S A JOKE!

Wild Wiesel to Baroness.

I just spotted Bree Van Mark and the medic

taking off in a Tomahawk.

THEY APPEAR TO BE HAVING A LOVER'S SPAT.

WANT ME TO BLAST THEM?

BARONESS: No, you fool!

WE WANT THE VAN MARK GIRL ALIVE!

TAIL THEM UNTIL THEY LAND!

SORRY I DON'T HAVE MUCH LEFT

FOR G.I. JOE TO DESTROY.

YOU'VE ALREADY SUNK MY YACHT AND RUINED MY TOWNHOUSE.

PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO GO UPSTAIRS

AND SET FIRE TO MY STAMP COLLECTION!

OH, PUT A SOCK IN IT.

COBRA DID THE DAMAGE.

COLLECT FROM THEM.

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY.

JUST WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING, YOUNG MAN?!

HE MEANS YOUR DAUGHTER

BROUGHT COBRA'S BATTLE ANDROID TROOPERS

ON OUR BASE AND NEARLY OVERRAN US.

NOW SHE'S DISAPPEARED WITH LIFELINE.

IF SHE'S TAKEN HIM TO SOME COBRA BASE...

I'M NOT WORKING FOR COBRA,

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.

THEY WANT MY BUSINESS.

THEY SABOTAGED MY FACTORIES TO FORCE ME OUT.

AND THEY TRIED TO KIDNAP MY DAUGHTER.

WHY? FOR A COCONUT FACTORY?

NO WAY!

TELL US THE TRUTH, VAN MARK.

YEAH. WHAT MAKES VAN MARK INDUSTRIES SO SPECIAL?

WHY, AMONG OTHER THINGS,

WE MAKE...CLASSIFIED WEAPONS,

HIGH-TECH WEAPONS USED BY ARMIES AROUND THE WORLD.

IF COBRA TAKES OVER,

THEY'LL HAVE ACCESS TO WEAPONS

MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.

[ Voice breaking ] BUT BREE IS ALL THAT MATTERS NOW.

I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR HER--

ANYTHING!

LIKE SELL OUT TO COBRA?

AT EASE, LIFT TICKET.

LOOK, SHE TOOK OFF WITH LIFELINE TWO HOURS AGO,

HEADING NORTHWEST SOMEWHERE.

ANY IDEA WHERE SHE COULD BE?

OUR FAMILY SKI LODGE IS IN THE ROCKIES.

BREE ALWAYS LOVED IT THERE

BECAUSE IT'S SO PEACEFUL.

ROASTED MARSHMALLOWS AND INSTANT COFFEE--

FIRST MEAL I'VE EVER COOKED FOR YOU.

THANKS FOR COMING, DARLING.

WELL...YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME MUCH OF A CHOICE.

[ SLURPS ]

I KNOW. I KNOW.

SORRY ABOUT THAT LANDING.

L-LOOK, I'LL GET MY FATHER

TO FIX WHATEVER I BROKE ON YOUR HELICOPTER.

BREE, YOU CAN'T ALWAYS BUY YOUR WAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

WHY NOT? DADDY DOES THAT WITH ME--

NEW CARS, NEW CLOTHES, TRIPS TO PARIS.

I HAD TO TWIST HIS ARM TO GO WITH HIM TO THE BAHAMAS.

AND THAT'S WHERE I MET YOU, DREAMBOAT.

[ BOTH COUGHING ]

THAT'S COBRA!

[ COUGHS ]

DADDY HAS HUNTING RIFLES HERE.

I WON'T USE VIOLENCE, BREE,

BUT I WILL USE MY BRAINS.

START HER UP, BREE!

NOW, LET'S START SOME NON-VIOLENT DELAYING TACTICS.

I WON'T FIGHT, BUT I'VE GOT NO OBJECTION

TO PUTTING A LITTLE BARRIER BETWEEN US AND THEM.

XAMOT! TOMAX!

TAKE ZARTAN AND ZANDAR AND CIRCLE AROUND!

MAN: If this cloud cover doesn't lift,

we'll never find Van Mark's ski lodge.

I THINK WE JUST DID, DUKE.

DUKE: Smoke at 4:00!

LIFELINE NEEDS HELP, ICEBERG!

AND ON MY KIND OF TURF!

YO-O-O, JOE!

IT'S ICEBERG!

[ BEEPING ]

AHHH!

NO! AVALANCHE!

GET US OUT OF HERE.

GET DOWN!

ALL: AAAAAAAH!

BARONESS: WAIT FOR ME!

BARONESS, YOU WILL PAY

DEARLY FOR TODAY'S FAILURES!

THERE GOES COBRA'S TOP BRASS.

BREE: DOES THAT MEAN YOU WON?

WE WON...FOR TODAY, THANKS TO YOUR HELP.

HEY, THAT'S RIGHT.

I-I DID HELP!

M-MAYBE-- MAYBE I CAN BECOME A JOE SOMEDAY.

MAYBE.

BUT PROMISE ME-- NO MORE GIFTS,

OKAY?

AW. YOU'RE NO FUN ANYMORE.

MMM.

YO-O-O, JOE!