Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

Narrator: INSPIRED BY A BIZARRE DREAM TO CREATE A COBRA EMPEROR

FROM THE DNA OF LONG-DEAD CONQUERORS,

DR. MINDBENDER RAIDED A SERIES OF ANCIENT TOMBS,

ONLY TO BE DENIED THE VITAL DNA OF CHINESE WARLORD SUN TZU

BY SERGEANT SLAUGHTER,

BUT DR. MINDBENDER CAPTURED SERGEANT SLAUGHTER

DURING AN ATTACK UPON THE TOMB OF GENGHIS KHAN

AND EXTRACTED HIS DNA IN PLACE OF SUN TZU'S.

BUT THEN COBRA COMMANDER

SECRETLY CONTAMINATED THE GENETIC MATRIX,

CREATING A MINDLESS CREATURE.

SERGEANT SLAUGHTER ESCAPED,

ONLY TO BE RECAPTURED WHEN BEACH-HEAD AND THE RESCUE PARTY

WERE SHOT DOWN OVER COBRA ISLAND.

ONCE AGAIN, DR. MINDBENDER BEGAN HIS UNHOLY EXPERIMENT,

AND THIS TIME, SERPENTOR, THE COBRA EMPEROR,

WAS BORN AT LAST.

AND NOW THE EXCITING CLIMAX OF, "ARISE, SERPENTOR, ARISE!"

Man: WAIT TILL WE TELL ZARTAN AND COBRA COMMANDER

HOW WE BLASTED THEM JOES.

Man #2: YEAH. WAS THAT SOMETHING, OR WAS THAT SOMETHING?

[ WHISTLES ] KABOOM!

BLEW THE BLOKES RIGHT OUT OF THE AIR.

KIND OF MAKES YOU WONDER

WHAT WE NEED ZARTAN AND HIS BABY BROTHER AND SISTER FOR.

[ EVIL LAUGHTER ]

DREADNOKS! GRAB THEM!

Together: GI JOE!

HEY, LOWLIFE!

DOES IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU

THERE MIGHT BE AN EASIER WAY OF SETTLING DISPUTES?

YEAH, LIFELINE. IT'S CALLED A GUN.

SEE ANYTHING UP AHEAD, LIFT-TICKET?

LOOKS LIKE THEIR COMMAND CENTER. PRETTY HEAVILY GUARDED, TOO.

BUT OUR ONLY BET FOR FINDING OUT

WHERE THEY'RE KEEPING SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

NONE SHALL STAND AGAINST ME.

NEITHER WITHIN COBRA, NOR WITHOUT,

FOR I AM SERPENTOR, AND I MUST RULE!

THIS I COMMAND!!!

COMMAND THIS, BUDDY! UGH!

IS THAT THE BEST MY ENEMIES CAN DO?

Together: HAIL SERPENTOR! HAIL SERPENTOR!

ATTEND TO ME. I NEED SUITABLE RAIMENT.

AND SO IT SHALL BE, OH GREAT AND POWERFUL ONE.

HERE IS YOUR UNIFORM AND YOUR AIR CHARIOT.

Cobra Commander: YES. HAIL, OMNIPOTENT ONE!

HAIL TO THEE IN ALL THY RADIANT MAJESTY!

YOU'VE GOT THEM EATING OUT OF YOUR HAND, SERPENTOR.

OF COURSE, YOU AND I KNOW

YOUR PRIMARY FUNCTION WILL BE AS A FIGUREHEAD,

A STERLING SYMBOL OF THE POWER AND UNANIMITY OF COBRA.

YOU'LL GIVE THEM SOMEONE TO LOOK UP TO

WHILE I MAKE ALL THE IMPORTANT DECISIONS.

THEN START BY DECIDING WHERE YOU WANT TO BE BURIED!

DON'T BE SO AGGRESSIVE.

I'M STILL OPEN TO NEGOTIATION.

THERE CAN BE NO NEGOTIATION, YOU INSOLENT MICROBE!

I AM NOT SYMBOLIC!

I AM YOUR EMPEROR AND MASTER!

I-I-I HEAR AND OBEY, OH GREAT SERPENTOR.

YOU HAD BETTER SHUT UP, COBRA COMMANDER,

Both: BEFORE HE REALLY GETS ANGRY.

[ GROANS ]

I HAVE BEEN CREATED WITH ALL THAT I NEED TO KNOW,

AND THE ESSENCE OF MY KNOWLEDGE IS THIS --

I ORDER YOU OBEY AND FEAR ME.

BALONEY!

[ SEETHES ]

YOU TALK A GOOD FIGHT, BUT CAN YOU BACK IT UP?

DO YOU FORGET, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER,

THAT MY FIRST ACT AS A SENTIENT BEING

WAS TO KNOCK YOU UNCONSCIOUS?

BEGINNER'S LUCK.

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO THAT AGAIN, SERPENTOR!

[ LAUGHS ]

ANY CLOWN CAN GIVE ORDERS WHEN HIS ENEMY'S CHAINED UP.

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR MOCKERY, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER!

EN GARDE!

SERPENTOR SHOULD NOT HAVE ACCEPTED

SERGEANT SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE.

YES. HE LACKS PATIENCE.

HIS GENETIC MATRIX HAS NONE OF SUN TZU'S DNA.

SUCK SOIL, SLIMEBALL!

NO ONE SHALL TOUCH SERPENTOR AND LIVE!

DESTROY HIM!

SERGEANT SLAUGHTER IS MINE.

THIS I COMMAND!

UGH!

DON'T BE SUCH A CRYBABY, MINDBENDER.

IF YOUR EMPEROR IS A WEAKLING,

WE'D BETTER LEARN ABOUT IT NOW!

COME ON, SLAUGHTER, KICK HIS FANGS IN!

UGH!

COME ON, SERPENTOR. LET'S CONTINUE THIS OUTSIDE.

MY PLEASURE.

FOLLOW THEM!

THIS WE DON'T WANT TO MISS!

DIRTY POOL, SERPENTOR!

NO WEAPONS!

HA! SPORTSMANSHIP IS NOT ONE OF MY ATTRIBUTES!

OH, ZARTAN, WHEN ARE WE GONNA GET SOME ACTION?

I'M WITH ZARANA.

THINGS ARE GETTING TOO DULL AROUND HERE.

GANGWAY!

LOOK OUT!

[ HUMMING ]

Man: MUST BE A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM.

IT'S REGISTERING INTRUDER PRESENCE,

BUT THERE'S NOBODY HERE.

YOU! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING THAT CONSOLE?

RIGHT DOWN YOUR THROAT, MAGGOT!

YO-O-O, JOE!

Together: YO-O-O, JOE!

[ LASERS FIRING ]

YO-O-O, JOE!

NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON A VIPER!

OH!

[ GRUNTS ]

COWARD!

YOU CHALLENGE ME, THEN YOU RUN AWAY!

JUST LOOKING FOR MORE FIGHTING ROOM, SUCKER!

NO RIDERS ALLOWED!

UGH!

OUCH!

UGH!

Man: RACK HIM UP, SARGE! Man #2: WAY TO GO!

Cobra Commander: SLAUGHTERIZE HIM!

TELE-VIPERS, CRIMSON GUARDS,

THAT IS SERPENTOR, YOUR NEW LEADER!

BURY HIM, YOUR MAJESTY!

Together: COBRA!

HEAR THAT, G.I. JOE?

THEY WORSHIP FOR THE MONARCH I AM.

[ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

AAAAH!

BITE HIM! BITE HIM!

USE THE COMBINATION! ONE, TWO!

HEY, WHERE'S COBRA COMMANDER?

GOOD.

NOW THAT YOU'RE ALL REPROGRAMMED,

BATTLE ANDROID TROOPERS, ATTENTION!

COMMANDER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ACTIVATING THE B.A.T.s

TO DESTROY SERGEANT SLAUGHTER AND SERPENTOR,

YOU TRAITOROUS TWIT.

NOW STAND ASIDE!

NO!

I WORK FOR DR. MINDBENDER NOW.

OH, REALLY?

MAYBE THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND.

YOU WERE SAYING?

B.A.T.s!

YOU HEARD COBRA COMMANDER!

ANNIHILATE THEM!

[ SCATTERED CHEERING ]

INSOLENT BARBARIAN,

YOU SHALL PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE FOR YOUR ARROGANCE!

LOOK OUT, SARGE!

[ GROANS ]

TELE-VIPERS, LOOK!

THEY'VE ASSAULTED YOUR EMPEROR!

[ GROANS ]

NONE MAY DEFILE OUR MASTER.

YOU WILL PAY WITH YOUR LIVES.

OH, LOOKS LIKE IT'S GONNA GET GRIM.

Man: THEY'RE JUST ROBOTS!

AIM FOR THEIR GUIDANCE SYSTEMS!

ANNIHILATE THE JOES.

THIS I COMMAND!

[ GROANING ]

AND WHAT ARE THESE?

THE B.A.T.s!

THEY'RE ATTACKING OUR EMPEROR!

LET'S GO! OUT THAT HOLE!

Man: COMING THROUGH!

Man #2: LET'S GO. MOVE IT.

BATTLING AN ARMY OF SUPER TROOPERS WOULD BE BAD ENOUGH,

BUT WHAT IF COBRA ALSO EXTRACTED THE STRATEGIC QUALITIES

OF THESE ANCIENT WARRIORS?

THE EXISTENCE OF SUCH CREATURES WOULD GIVE COBRA ABSOLUTE POWER.

[ MURMURING ]

GENERAL HAWK, THAT'S JUST A COMPUTER PROJECTION.

WHAT'S THE POSSIBILITY

THAT COBRA HAS ACTUALLY ACHIEVED THIS?

100%.

Woman: IT'S SERGEANT SLAUGHTER!

Man: GREAT TO SEE YOU BACK.

Man #2: THEY FOUND HIM!

WHAT HAPPENED?

WE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS AND SOME BAD NEWS.

THE GOOD NEWS IS WE DESTROYED ALL THE DNA COBRA COLLECTED.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THE BAD NEWS IS

DR. MINDBENDER BUILT COBRA A NEW EMPEROR,

CAPABLE OF CONQUERING THE WORLD.

HE'S SMART AND SAVVY AND STRONG,

UGLIER THAN SIN, AND MEANER THAN A JUNKYARD DOG.

[ DOG GROWLS ]

NO OFFENSE, MUTT.

All: WHERE SERPENTOR LEADS, COBRA FOLLOWS!

COBRA! COBRA! COBRA! COBRA!

G.I. JOE'S VERY EXISTENCE OFFENDS ME.

DOES IT NOT SICKEN AND OFFEND YOU?

YES! YES!

THEN WHY DOES G.I. JOE CONTINUE TO EXIST AND DEFY ME!?

BECAUSE OUR BELOVED COBRA COMMANDER...

COULD NEVER DEFEAT AMERICA'S ULTIMATE DEFENSE --

Both: G.I. JOE.

OH, SURE, THAT'S IT. BLAME ME.

NEVER MIND YOUR OWN COWARDICE AND INCOMPETENCE!

SILENCE, YOU VOCIFEROUS LITTLE WORM!

THE PROBLEM IS EASILY SOLVED.

WE SHALL INVADE THE UNITED STATES

AND SUBJUGATE G.I. JOE IMMEDIATELY!

SEE HOW EASY IT IS, COBRA COMMANDER?

I COMMAND, AND THEY OBEY --

THE PERFECT FIGHTING COMBINATION.

YOU DON'T HAVE THE EXPERIENCE TO LEAD COBRA,

YOU INSUFFERABLE EGOMANIAC.

YOU KNOW NOTHING OF OUR STRUGGLE AGAINST G.I. JOE,

NOTHING OF OUR RELATIVE STRENGTHS,

WEAKNESSES, OR STRATEGIES!

NEVER HISS AT YOUR EMPEROR.

I DO NOT NEED EXPERIENCE TO LEAD COBRA.

I HAVE BEEN CREATED FULLY SENTIENT,

ALL-KNOWING, AND ALL-POWERFUL!

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT...

ALMIGHTY SERPENTOR,

Both: WE BEG YOU TO RECONSIDER.

INVASION IS EASY.

BUT HOLDING U.S. TERRITORY...

Both: IS ALL BUT IMPOSSIBLE.

FOR SERPENTOR, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!

COBRA'S BEEN TOO QUIET FOR TOO LONG.

WE'RE GOING TO GO LOOKING FOR THEM,

STAGE A LITTLE PREEMPTIVE STRIKE BEFORE THEIR NEW LEADER CAN --

[ BEEPING ]

HEAR ME.

I, SERPENTOR, HAVE BEGUN THE CONQUEST OF WASHINGTON, D.C.,

THE UTTER HUMILIATION OF THE UNITED STATES,

AND THE TOTAL ANNIHILATION OF G.I. JOE.

NONE THAT DEFY ME SHALL LIVE.

THIS I COMMAND!

[ RAPID BEEPING ]

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

Together: COBRA!

THE PRESIDENT -- WHERE IS HE?

TOUGH LUCK, SLIMEBALL.

BOTH HE AND THE VICE PRESIDENT ARE OUT OF TOWN.

THEY ARE TOO WELL-FORTIFIED, DESTRO, DARLING.

THEY'LL NEVER TAKE THEM

THEN WE'LL SIMPLY CALL IN AN AIR STRIKE.

Man: NIGHT RAVEN ONE TO DESTRO.

WE HAVE THE PENTAGON DEAD IN OUR SIGHTS.

USE YOUR GAS WEAPONS.

WE WANT TO CAPTURE THE BUILDING INTACT!

AFFIRMATIVE.

[ AIR WHISTLING ]

[ COUGHING ]

COBRA!

DESTRO, BARONESS. BAD NEWS.

NEITHER THE PRESIDENT NOR THE VICE PRESIDENT

ARE IN WASHINGTON.

Baroness: BAD NEWS, INDEED.

SO MUCH FOR OUR HOPES OF A SINGLE STUNNING VICTORY.

Serpentor: TO YOU, MY LOYAL VIPERS,

AND TO THOSE WATCHING THIS BROADCAST,

LOOK ABOUT AND KNOW THAT THIS CITY IS MINE.

COBRA! COBRA! COBRA! COBRA!

BRING THE SENATORS AND CONGRESSMEN BEFORE ME.

I ORDER YOU TO SURRENDER G.I. JOE

AND THE PRESIDENT TO ME.

NEVER!

WE WILL NOT COOPERATE WITH YOU

OR YOUR TOTALITARIAN REGIME.

YOU WILL DO AS I SAY,

OR I SHALL BURN YOUR NATION TO THE GROUND!

THIS I COMMAND!

VERY WELL.

I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO DO AS YOU COMMAND -- FOR NOW.

SEE HOW MEEKLY ALL OBEY THE COMMANDS OF A TRUE EMPEROR?

All: SERPENTOR! SERPENTOR! SERPENTOR!

RESISTANCE TO THE RULE OF SERPENTOR IS NO MORE!

THE CITY OF WASHINGTON NOW ENTERS A NEW ERA IN HISTORY --

THE DAWN OF THE 1,000-YEAR RULE OF COBRA!

ALL SHALL BE CRUSHED BENEATH SERPENTOR'S IRON HEEL!

Cobra Commander: THIS IS INSANE!

WE CAN'T POSSIBLY HOLD WASHINGTON,

MUCH LESS CONQUER THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES!

I KNOW -- I TRIED!

YOU TRIED AND FAILED.

HA HA.

ALREADY THE PRESIDENT HAS AGREED TO SURRENDER.

KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER, YOU PATHETIC LOSERS.

YOU FIRST, MR. PRESIDENT.

ON YOUR KNEES.

VERY WELL, YOUR HIGHNESS.

GOOD, GOOD.

[ MURMURING ]

WAIT!

I DEMANDED THE SURRENDER OF G.I. JOE, AS WELL.

WHERE IS THEIR REPRESENTATIVE?

G.I. JOE?

WHY...RIGHT HERE!

YO-O-O JOE!

BRING UP OUR REINFORCEMENTS FROM THE AIR FORCE!

THERE ARE JOES INSIDE!

ANNIHILATE THEM!

CHECK THEIR STUNS!

THAT'S WHERE THEIR FIREPOWER IS!

YO-O-O, JOE!

B.A.T.s, ATTACK!

JOES, HEADS UP!

I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THOSE TIN HEADS!

OH, NO.

1,000-YEAR RULE -- HA!

WHERE'S YOUR PERFECT LEADER NOW?

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LEADERSHIP?

I KNOW HOW TO FIRE A LASER.

YOU NEED EVERY HAND YOU CAN GET!

FOR ONCE, COBRA COMMANDER, YOU ARE RIGHT.

LIFT-TICKET TO SLIP-STREAM.

GOT SOME FIREBATS AND NIGHT RAVENS

TRYING TO STOP US FROM MAKING OUR DELIVERIES.

HANG LOOSE, LIFT-TICKET. WE'RE ON OUR WAY!

YO-O-O, JOE!

HAVE A BATH! YOU GUYS SURE DO NEED IT!

YO-O-O, JOE! LET'S STOMP SNAKE!

YEE-HAW! YOU'VE GOT IT, SARGE!

Man: DREADNOKS, FORWARD!

DESTROY THE JOE REINFORCEMENTS, OR WE'RE ALL DEAD MEAT!

COBRA! COBRA! COBRA! COBRA!

AH!

THRASHER, YOU BLOODY DINGO!

Man #2: DON'T LEAVE US!

BLIMEY, ZARTAN! THE DREADNOKS ARE CHECKING OUT!

AND THIS TIME, THEY HAVE THE RIGHT IDEA.

LET SERPENTOR AND HIS VIPERS DO THE FIGHTING.

UH-OH. NIGHT RAVEN ON MY TAIL.

WARNING. WARNING. FUEL EXHAUSTED.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF FUEL!

DESTRO! BARONESS!

WHY ARE YOU RETREATING? STAND AND FIGHT!

WE'RE OUT OF AMMUNITION, MY LORD!

OUR AIR FORCE IS OUT OF FUEL!

WE CANNOT HOLD!

WE STILL CONTROL THE RIVER! THIS WAY!

I SEE SNAKE MEAT ON THE POTOMAC!

YO-O-O, JOE!

WE SEE HIM, SLIP-STREAM. LET US TAKE CARE OF HIM.

YO-O-O, JOE! [ SQUAWKS ]

OUR MORAYS WILL STEM THE TIDE!

WHAT? FOLLOW ME!

WE'LL MAKE OUR STAND AT THE JEFFERSON MEMORIAL!

COBRA!!!

WE'RE WHIPPING THE SCALES OFF THEM ON LAND, SEA, AND AIR.

NOW LET'S FINISH THE JOB.

YO-O-O, JOE!

THEY'RE THROUGH FIGHTING AND ON THE RUN!

LET'S PUT THE LID ON THIS CAN OF FANGS!

SERPENTOR! SERPENTOR!

OUR MEN ARE RETREATING!

YOU MUST BE EVACUATED TO SAFETY, MY EMPEROR!

ONLY TEMPORARILY, DO YOU HEAR?

SERPENTOR CANNOT BE VANQUISHED!

COME BACK, COWARDS!

STAND AND DEFEND YOUR EMPEROR!

GET ABOARD!

THE LAST FULLY FUELED NIGHT RAVEN

WILL TAKE US TO THE TURBO DRONE AND SAFETY.

Man: JOES!

CUT THEIR ESCAPE ROUTE!

Serpentor: EXCELLENT.

BRING ME THE BRAVE VIPER WHO SAVED HIS EMPEROR'S LIFE.

FUNNY HOW YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE, ISN'T IT?

THE REST OF YOU, GET ABOARD. I'LL DEAL WITH THIS SCUM.

NO! TAKE ME ALONG! I SAVED YOU!

NEVER! YOU WILL PERISH HERE!

[ GAGS ]

BUT WHO WILL YOU BLAME WHEN YOUR LOYAL VIPERS REALIZE

HOW IMPERFECT YOU REALLY ARE?

YOU NEED ME FOR -- FOR A SCAPEGOAT...MY LORD.

FOR ONCE, YOU ARE RIGHT.

COME ALONG.

ALL RIGHT, COBRAS, IT'S OVER. GET THOSE HANDS UP.

Man: WASHINGTON'S A LITTLE BATTERED.

THE TOWN STILL LOOKS PRETTY GOOD TO ME.

WE WON A MAJOR VICTORY TODAY, BUT IT'S NOT OVER.

SERPENTOR'S ONE TOUGH COOKIE,

AND COBRA FORCES WILL FOLLOW HIM TO THE GATES OF OBLIVION.

WE'LL HAVE TO KEEP ON OUR TOES FROM NOW ON.

THE PRICE OF LIBERTY IS ALWAYS ETERNAL VIGILANCE.

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

IS YOUR MOM THERE? NO, I'M HOME ALONE.

WELL, YOU WON A PRIZE. WHAT'S YOUR ADDRESS?

UH, 42 OAK STREET.

HEY, ROADBLOCK, SOME STRANGER'S BRINGING ME A PRIZE!

A STRANGER, HUH?

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

ALL HE WANTED TO BRING YOU WAS TROUBLE.

REMEMBER, NEVER TELL ANYONE YOU'RE HOME ALONE,

AND NEVER GIVE ANYONE YOUR ADDRESS.

I'LL SAY, "MOM CAN'T COME TO THE PHONE."

SMART THINKIN'. NOW I KNOW.

AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE.

♪ G.I. JOE