Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

IN OUR LAST EPISODE, DR. MINDBENDER

WAS INSPIRED BY A BIZARRE DREAM

TO REPLACE COBRA COMMANDER WITH A NEW LEADER,

THE COBRA EMPEROR,

CLONED FROM THE DNA OF LONG-DEAD CONQUERORS.

DR. MINDBENDER THEN RAIDED THE TOMBS OF NAPOLEON, VLAD TEPES,

IVAN THE TERRIBLE, ALEXANDER THE GREAT,

AND OTHERS,

BUT WAS THWARTED IN HIS PURSUIT OF THE DNA

OF THE CHINESE WARLORD SUN-TZU BY SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

DR. MINDBENDER VOWED

TO SUBSTITUTE SERGEANT SLAUGHTER'S OWN DNA

FOR THE MISSING SPECIMEN.

BUT FIRST, HE MADE AN ALL-OUT EFFORT

TO SECURE THE DNA OF GENGHIS KHAN.

BUT SERGEANT SLAUGHTER,

IN AN ATTEMPT TO AVENGE HIS EARLIER DEFEAT, WAS CAPTURED.

NOW TODAY'S CHAPTER OF "ARISE, SERPENTOR, ARISE!"

I SAY DISPOSE OF HIM AT ONCE!

NO!

B.A.T.s, I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!

PUT HIM IN CHAINS!

[ PUNCH LANDS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

LOCK HIM IN THE PUNISHMENT MODULE

UNTIL WE REACH THE TERRORDROME.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION,

I INTEND TO USE SERGEANT SLAUGHTER'S DNA

TO REPLACE SUN-TZU'S IN MY CREATION FORMULA.

WHAT A MIND-BOGGLING BRAINSTORM, MINDBENDER.

PUTTING THE GENETIC SOUL OF AN ENEMY

INTO THE BODY OF OUR NEW LEADER

WILL GIVE US JUST WHAT WE'VE ALWAYS NEEDED...

[CHUCKLES] A LIVING TRAITOR!

WHEN YOU ARE KNEE-DEEP IN TOTAL CATASTROPHE,

REMEMBER I TRIED TO STOP YOU!

[ LAUGHS ]

COBRA COMMANDER TOOK THE NEWS

OF SERGEANT SLAUGHTER'S DNA RATHER GOOD-NATUREDLY.

HE UNDOUBTEDLY HAS SOMETHING EXTREMELY UNPLEASANT

UP HIS TREACHEROUS SLEEVE.

WATCH HIM CLOSELY.

[ TIRES THUMPING, SQUEAKING ]

ALL RIGHT, MEN. WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS?

12% CASUALTIES.

NONE FATAL, THANK HEAVENS.

40% OF OUR VEHICLES REDLINED OR DESTROYED.

FLINT GOT DINGED UP IN THE LAST ATTACK.

WE STOPPED THEM FROM GETTING SUN-TZU'S DNA,

BUT COBRA CAPTURED SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

HERE ARE REPORTS FROM THE TOMBS WE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT.

A LIBYAN MUSEUM WITH A RELIC OF HANNIBAL

WAS RAIDED BY COBRA.

IN ROME, THE ASHES OF JULIUS CAESAR WERE STOLEN.

LORD KNOWS WHAT COBRA WANTS WITH THEM.

ATTILA THE HUN, ERIK THE RED, RASPUTIN, DOZENS MORE.

COBRA MAY HAVE WON SOME BATTLES,

BUT THEY'RE A LONG WAY FROM WINNING THE WAR.

BEACH HEAD, GET THOSE VOLUNTEERS

WHO'D LIKE TO TAKE A CRACK

AT THE TERRORDROME ON COBRA ISLAND.

YES, SIR!

MEN, YOUR PRIMARY GOAL

IS TO FIND AND RESCUE SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

BUT IT'S EQUALLY IMPORTANT

WE LEARN MORE ABOUT COBRA'S DNA EXPERIMENTS.

YO, JOE! YO, JOE! YO, JOE!

GOOD LUCK, AND GODSPEED.

Dr. Mindbender: AT LONG LAST,

THE PIECES OF THE GENETIC PUZZLE

ARE ALL NEARLY IN PLACE.

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]

POSITION THE PROTOPLASM ARMATURE.

[ CLANG ]

THE DNA OF HISTORY'S GREATEST CONQUERORS

HAS MERGED WITH THE GENETIC MATRIX

JUST AS I DREAMED IT WOULD.

BUT WHAT OF THE LOSS OF SUN-TZU'S DNA?

WHAT IF IT INITIATES A CHAIN REACTION

OF UNPREDICTABLE MUTATIONS?

LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY, DESTRO.

I AM REPLACING SUN-TZU'S DNA WITH SERGEANT SLAUGHTER'S.

Crimson twin: THE TIME HAS COME, DEAR BROTHER...

...TO COMPLETE OUR LITTLE EXPERIMENT...

Both: ...IN BIOLOGY 101.

[ GRUNTS ]

YOU BETTER HOPE THIS KILLS ME, 'CAUSE IF IT DON'T --

AAH!

[ LAUGHS ]

NOW TO DR. MINDBENDER'S LABORATORY...

...WHILE OUR SUBJECT RESTS FOR A WHILE.

[ BEEP ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

Both: HE WON'T WAKE UP FOR WEEKS.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

THAT MAN HAS THE CONSTITUTION OF A VENDING MACHINE!

[ GRUNTS ]

Scrap Iron: COMMANDER,

HE'S TRYING TO OPEN HIS CELL DOOR!

I MUST ALERT --

NO! YOU WILL DO NOTHING UNTIL HE ESCAPES

AND IS WELL ON HIS WAY.

NOW I MUST PAY A LITTLE CALL

ON DR. MINDBENDER'S LABORATORY

AND MAKE SURE THAT THINGS GET OUT OF HAND.

[ LAUGHS ]

OOH, HOW I SAVOR THE GLORY OF THIS MOMENT.

[ CLICK ]

THE LAST INGREDIENT OF MY FORMULA

HAS NOW BEEN INTERFACED WITH THE INERT PROTOPLASM.

I SHALL NOW GIVE IT THE BREATH OF LIFE.

STOP!

YOUR VISIT IS ILL-TIMED, COBRA COMMANDER!

Both: YES. STAND CLEAR.

FORGIVE ME FOR THIS UNSEEMLY INTRUSION.

I CAME TO WISH YOU NOTHING BUT SUCCESS

IN YOUR HISTORIC VENTURE.

THEN STAND BACK WHILE THE MEN DO THE WORK.

OH, OF COURSE.

I WOULDN'T DREAM OF INTERFERING.

REPLACE THE CONTAINMENT SHROUD, DESTRO.

INTERLOCK THE BIO-THERM INDUCTOR!

[ ENERGY ZAPPING ]

ALL IS READY.

PREPARE FOR VITALIZATION!

SO FAR, I SEE NOTHING...

...TO GET EXCITED ABOUT.

SOMETHING...

...IS HAPPENING!

[ LAUGHS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

AAH!

[ COMMUNICATOR BEEPS ]

[ COMMUNICATOR BEEPS ]

[ Indistinct shouting ]

SERGEANT SLAUGHTER HAS ESCAPED!

QUIET! THIS IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT.

RELEASE CLAMPS AND VACUUM SHROUD!

RISE, PERFECT BEING!

ARISE AND RULE!

[ GROANS, GROWLS ]

YOU DIDN'T MAKE US AN EMPEROR!

YOU MADE US...

Both: A MONSTER!

[ GROWLS ]

I KNOW THAT, YOU IDIOTS!

GET HIM OFF ME!

[ ROARS ]

[ ROARS ]

[ GROWLS ]

Destro: LOOK OUT!

THAT MONSTROSITY IS TOTALLY MINDLESS!

AS IS THE QUACK WHO CREATED HIM!

[ GROWLS ]

I WARNED YOU THAT THIS EXPERIMENT

WAS UNSOUND, DR. MINDBENDER!

MY CALCULATIONS WERE PERFECT!

[ ROARS ]

I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

Man: LOOK OUT!

DON'T LET IT LEAVE THE LABORATORY!

DON'T WORRY.

WE HAVE IT...

Both: ...RIGHT WHERE IT WANTS US!

TIME TO EVACUATE THE PREMISES!

[ LAUGHS ]

THEY'LL BE DESTROYED BY THEIR OWN CREATION,

AND COBRA WILL BE MINE AGAIN.

[ LAUGHS ]

FIRE AT IT, COMMANDER! FIRE!

YOU HAVE A WEAPON AND DO NOTHING

TO PREVENT THE CREATURE'S ESCAPE!

IF IT REACHES THE SURFACE OF COBRA ISLAND,

WE MAY NEVER RECAPTURE IT!

TOUGH LUCK, MINDBENDER!

THAT RUNAWAY PILE OF PUTRID PROTOPLASM IS YOUR PROBLEM,

NOT MINE!

[ MEN SCREAMING ]

WHILE YOU AND MINDBENDER ARE PURSUING YOUR CREATURE,

YOU SHOULD PONDER THE INSANITY OF YOUR ENTIRE SCHEME!

[ ALARM BLARING ] Man on P.A.: INTRUDER ALERT!

INTRUDER ALERT!

INTRUDER ALERT!

VIPERS, LET THEM CHASE THE CREATURE!

IT'S SERGEANT SLAUGHTER I'M AFTER!

LISTEN TO ME, DR. MINDBENDER.

WE SAY...

Both: LET THE BIG UGLY SWINE GO!

NO!

WE MUST FIND AND ANALYZE IT!

I THINK WE FAILED

BECAUSE SOMEONE CONTAMINATED THE DNA SUPPLY.

LOOK!

IT'S SERGEANT SLAUGHTER!

LET'S FRY HIM!

[ ROARS ]

Beach Head: IT DOESN'T FIGURE.

WE'RE TOO LOW TO TICKLE THEIR RADAR,

BUT SOMETHING'S GOT THE WHOLE STINKING ISLAND ON ALERT.

SAY, THAT'S A HEAVY BREEZE FOR THIS TIME OF NIGHT, EH?

YOU PLAYING CARDS OR GIVING A BLOOMING WEATHER REPORT?

THAT WAS A JOE CHOPPER, YOU BRAINLESS TWITS!

AFTER IT!

COBRA! COBRA! COBRA!

HOSTILE PURSUIT SHIPS CLOSING FAST!

DREADNOK SWAMPFIRES! KEEP SHOOTING AND HANG ON!

YO-O-O, JOE!

AAH!

HOLD STILL SO WE CAN BLAST THEM!

IF I HOLD STILL, THEY'LL BLAST US!

BLIMEY! PULL UP!

PULL UP!

WE SHOOK THEM!

CORRECTION -- WE SHOOK SOME OF THEM!

I THINK YOU'LL FIND THIS ISLAND DEPRESSING.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING ]

COME NO FURTHER, OR --

SCRAP IRON?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO BUY PROOF

THAT IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT THE EXPERIMENT FAILED.

I WILL PAY A MILLION GOLD SERPENTINES

IF THE INFORMATION IS USEFUL TO ME.

COBRA COMMANDER TAINTED YOUR DNA MIXTURE

WITH A DISTILLATION OF MUTATING VIRUS.

OF COURSE.

COBRA COMMANDER IS THE ONLY LOGICAL SUSPECT.

HE HAS CROSSED ME FOR THE LAST TIME.

I SHALL MAKE SURE HIS FATE MATCHES THAT OF HIS VIRUS.

[ LAUGHS ]

UH-OH.

[ SENSOR BEEPING ] I THINK I'M GETTING A LIFE-FORM READING.

TOUGH TO BE SURE IN THE JUNGLE.

LOOK OUT!

A JOE TOMAHAWK!

INTERCEPT ANY SURVIVORS!

NOT IF I GET THERE FIRST, FUNGUS BRAIN.

[ GROANS ]

AAAAHHHH!

[ ROARS ]

WHAT THE SAM HILL RAN INTO THEM?

[ GROWLS ]

NOT TODAY, POINDEXTER!

[ GROANS ]

[ ROARS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

[ ROARS ]

OKAY, THAT DOES IT!

NOW I'M ANGRY!

[ GRUNTS ]

YOU FIGHT LIKE YOU LOOK -- UGLY, BUT SLOPPY.

REAL SLOPPY!

WHAT?

[ BUBBLING ]

I'VE FACED SOME PRETTY SPINELESS OPPONENTS,

BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

Crimson twin: A SLIGHT PROBLEM WITH DR. MINDBENDER'S RECIPE.

THE POOR CREATURE JUST CAME...

Both: ...UNGLUED.

EWW!

HE GLOPPED US!

Both: AFTER HIM!

[ PANTING ]

FLIGHT IS USELESS, SERGEANT.

OH, LOOK OUT! STOP HIM!

CHECKMATE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

OKAY.

THE SCORE IS CREEPS 1, SLAUGHTER NOTHING.

WE'RE GOING INTO EXTRA INNINGS.

COUNT ON IT.

I HATE TO SOUND LIKE A PARTY POOPER, BEACH HEAD,

BUT WE'RE NOW ONE TOMAHAWK SHORT.

AND WE'VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO.

BAG IT, LIFT TICKET.

LET'S FIND THE SARGE,

THEN WORRY ABOUT HOW WE'RE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE.

COME ON!

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]

PIN HIM DOWN!

[ GRUNTS ]

QUICKLY! I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!

[ GRUNTING ]

WELL, SUCH INDOMITABILITY.

SUCH SPIRIT.

YOUR DNA IN THE GENETIC MATRIX

WILL GUARANTEE OUR PERFECT LEADER.

BAD IDEA, MINDBENDER.

YOU AIN'T USING MY MOLECULES TO FIGHT G.I. JOE.

SERGEANT SLAUGHTER, YOUR GENEROUS CONTRIBUTION

IS CHEERFULLY ACCEPTED.

AH, MY CUP TRULY RUNNETH OVER.

B.A.T.s, SECURE HIM WITH ELECTRO-CHAINS.

ONE CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL.

Man: TOUGH SECURITY, BEACH HEAD.

HOW ARE WE GONNA GET INSIDE?

NO BIGGIE.

GO ASK IF YOU CAN USE THEIR PHONE.

YOU SERIOUS? DO IT!

[ CHUCKLES ] HI, GUYS.

UH, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD, UH, USE YOUR PHONE?

HALT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, YOU SEE, SOME OF YOUR GUYS

SHOT DOWN OUR CHOPPER A FEW MILES BACK,

AND, WELL, I NEED TO CHECK IN WITH HEADQUARTERS.

HEY, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME

YOU WERE USING ME AS A DECOY FOR VIOLENCE?

'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SAY NO.

Man: SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS IS NOT GONNA BE

ONE OF MY FAVORITE HANGOUTS.

GENETIC MATRIX TEMPERATURE,

DNA-INTERFACE FLUID PRESSURE --

ALL PERFECT.

THIS TIME THERE SHALL BE NO CALAMITIES.

[ GRUNTING ]

CAN'T LET YOU USE EVEN ONE MOLECULE OF ME AGAINST G.I. JOE!

CAN'T! [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]

[ GROANS ]

YOUR FATE IS SEALED, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

JUST LEAN BACK AND ENJOY IT.

[ LAUGHS ]

THE READINGS ARE EVEN STRONGER THIS TIME!

POSITION THE SHROUD!

GENTLEMEN, I GIVE YOU THE FUTURE!

[ ENERGY ZAPPING ]

GOT TO STOP! GOT TO!

YO, JOE! [ GRUNTING ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]

NO! STOP!

HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM YOUR PREVIOUS CATASTROPHE?

DO YOU SERIOUSLY EXPECT ME

TO PERMIT YOU TO CREATE ANOTHER FRANKENSTEIN NIGHTMARE?

[ GRUNTING ]

SCRAP IRON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ENSURING COBRA'S FUTURE AND MY OWN!

BETRAYED BY MY OWN CONFIDANT!

DISHONORED BY UPSTARTS, MISFITS!

WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MERIT SUCH HEINOUS DISRESPECT?!

YOU HAVE FAILED, MY DEAR COBRA COMMANDER.

NOW STAND OUT OF THE WAY

OR JOIN SERGEANT SLAUGHTER IN CHAINS!

SERGEANT SLAUGHTER, LOOK,

I KNOW WE HAVEN'T ALWAYS SEEN EYE TO EYE IN THE PAST,

BUT IF I LET YOU GO, WILL YOU HELP ME?

IT'S A DEAL.

I'M CUTTING THE POWER.

[ ENERGY ZAPPING ]

[ GRUNTS ]

DR. MINDBENDER!

AAH!

NOW WHAT?

SERGEANT SLAUGHTER! HE'S FREE!

STOP HIM!

WHY DON'T YOU...

JUST GIVE UP, SLAUGHTER...

Both: ...AND MAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF?

WHY DON'T YOU TWO MAGGOTS GO SUCK EGGS?!

STOP HIM BEFORE HE DESTROYS ANY MORE DNA!

HYAH! HYAH!

WE'VE LOST SERGEANT SLAUGHTER'S DNA!

WHAT WILL THIS DO TO THE GENETIC MATRIX?

I-I DON'T KNOW.

YOU'VE BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER!

[ GRUNTS ]

UHH!

NOW! NOW, DESTRO!

DE-ENERGIZE THE APPARATUS!

Destro: YOU'LL HAVE TO [GROANS]

HANDLE THAT YOURSELF, DR. MINDBENDER!

YOU CAN NEVER GET GOOD HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT.

[ SIGHS ] YOU DENTED MY HAT.

THE PRIZE THAT HAS ELUDED ME IS NOW MINE!

ARISE, MOST POWERFUL ONE!

ARISE!

I SAID, "ARISE"!

ARISE!

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU FAILED AGAIN, FENDER-BENDER!

[ LAUGHS ]

I-I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS, MIND-BUNGLER?

YES! GO AHEAD, SLAUGHTER!

PUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT!

[ RUMBLING ]

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

WHAT'S THAT?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S COMING FROM DOWN THERE.

LET'S CHECK IT OUT!

Serpentor: KNOW THAT I AM THE ONE YOU SEEK.

I AM THE ONE BORN TO RULE, DESTINED TO CONQUER.

LET THOSE WHO FEAR ME FOLLOW ME.

LET THOSE WHO OPPOSE ME DIE...

FOR I AM SERPENTOR!

AND THIS I COMMAND!

TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN THE WILY SERPENTOR

ASSUMES COMMAND OF COBRA,

AND COBRA COMMANDER

PLOTS TO REGAIN CONTROL OF HIS ORGANIZATION.

THEN THE JOES HURL THEMSELVES INTO COMBAT

AGAINST SERPENTOR TO SAVE WASHINGTON, D.C.

ALL IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE

OF "ARISE, SERPENTOR, ARISE!"

OH, NO! MY KITTEN'S LOST!

I'LL HELP YOU FIND HER.

WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE!

BLIND DOES NOT MEAN YOU CANNOT SEE HOW TO SOLVE PROBLEMS.

LET'S ALL LOOK.

NO LUCK. CAN'T FIND HER.

[ CAT MEOWS ]

Girl: YOU FOUND POPPY!

I HEARD HER MEOWING.

MARK HAS LEARNED TO USE HIS OTHER SENSES BETTER.

REMEMBER, HAVING A HANDICAP --

DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE HELPLESS. NOW WE KNOW.

AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE.

♪ G.I. JOE