Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

IN OUR LAST EPISODE,

DISSATISFIED WITH COBRA COMMANDER'S LEADERSHIP,

DR. MINDBENDER PLOTTED TO REPLACE HIM

WITH A COBRA EMPEROR

CLONED FROM THE DNA OF LONG-DEAD CONQUERORS.

THROUGH TREACHERY, COBRA OVERCAME THE JOES,

THUS SECURING THE DNA OF NAPOLEON,

THE AZTEC MONARCH MONTEZUMA, AND EGYPTIAN GENERAL AMON-TOTH

FOR DR. MINDBENDER'S FORMULA.

MEANWHILE, IN FRIGID SIBERIA,

COBRA FORCES THREATENED TO OVERRUN THE JOES

GUARDING THE TOMB OF IVAN THE TERRIBLE.

AND IN TRANSYLVANIA,

THE WILY BARONESS STOLE THE DNA OF VLAD TEPES

AND BROUGHT HIS CASTLE DOWN ON BEACH HEAD AND MAINFRAME

TO COVER HER ESCAPE.

AND NOW, TODAY'S CHAPTER OF "ARISE, SERPENTOR, ARISE!"

[ RUMBLING ]

HOLY...

BEACH HEAD AND MAINFRAME ARE IN THERE!

INTO THE COFFIN!

ANY PORT IN A STORM!

[ SNIFFS ]

[ WHINES, BARKS ]

JUNKYARD HEARS SOMETHING.

[ GROWLING ]

THEY COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE...

STOP JAWING AND START DIGGING!

COBRA! COBRA! COBRA! COBRA!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

Duke: KEEP THEM OUT OF IVAN'S MAUSOLEUM!

UP AND AT 'EM, HORROR SHOW.

WE GOT TO KEEP FIGHTIN', YOU DIG?

[ GRUNTS ]

YO, JOE-SKY!

Duke: THEY'RE RAISING THE DRAWBRIDGE!

THAT'S OKAY. WE'LL CROSS ON THE ICE.

HEY!

WHAT ARE THOSE CRAZY B.A.T.s DOING?

WELL, SO MUCH FOR CROSSING ON THE ICE.

HOLD THEM OFF WHILE I GET IVAN'S DNA.

[ BEEPING ]

[ WHIRRING ]

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

COBRA!

CONCENTRATE ALL FIRE ON THAT AIRCRAFT.

GET THIS TO DR. MINDBENDER.

COBRA!

GONE! AND WE STILL GOT A MESS OF POLAR VIPERS ON OUR HANDS.

HUH? THEY'RE SURRENDERING?

WHY FIGHT? WE'LL BE FREED WHEN COBRA CONQUERS THE WORLD.

WORST PART IS UNLESS WE START GETTING THINGS TOGETHER,

THAT CREEP COULD BE RIGHT.

HAWK: Duke's men are heading for the tomb of Genghis Khan,

Sgt. Slaughter.

I'll rendezvous with you at Sun Tzu's burial mound

near the headwaters of the Yangtze River.

TELL DUKE NOT TO BLAME HIMSELF, GENERAL HAWK.

IF WE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT COBRA WANTED FROM THOSE TOMBS,

we'd do a better job of keeping away from them.

AFFIRMATIVE, SGT. SLAUGHTER.

WE ARE IN THE DARK NOW,

BUT WE'VE GOT TO KEEP PUNCHING TILL WE SEE THE LIGHT.

Roger, general. Estimate arrival time at --

[ Laser fire ]

Take cover! It's Cobra!

SGT. SLAUGHTER, ARE YOU UNDER ATTACK?

[ STATIC ]

YOU'RE BREAKING UP, SERGEANT!

WE'VE LOST CONTACT.

Leatherneck: AH, IF THERE'S ONE THING I HATE, IT'S WAITING.

IF THERE'S ONE THING I CAN'T STAND ABOUT WAITING,

IT'S LISTENING TO YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT IT.

OH, YEAH? YEAH!

SORRY TO INTERRUPT SUCH SOPHISTICATED REPARTEE,

BUT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING FOR COBRA, REMEMBER?

AW, ME AND SUIT ARE WATCHING, SHIPWRECK.

RIGHT!

IF THEM FANGY FREAKS MAKE A MOVE ON ALEXANDER THE GREAT'S TOMB,

WE'LL BLOW 'EM RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER!

THE ONLY PROBLEM IS

ALEXANDER'S TOMB IS UNDER THE WATER.

Polly: BRAWK! SAVED A BUNDLE ON FIRE INSURANCE!

BELAY THE ONE-LINERS, POLLY.

Come in, Torpedo and Deep Six.

How are things at the tomb, serpent-wise?

Nothing but seaweed staring at 40 fathoms, Wreck.

The sonar's drawing blanks, too.

MAYBE COBRA'S GONNA GIVE THIS FAMOUS STIFF A MISS.

DON'T BET YOUR CLAMS ON IT.

NOW, WHERE WAS I

BEFORE I WAS SO RUDELY INTERRUPTED?

AH! NOT EXACTLY AN ENDANGERED SPECIES

BUT DEFINITELY WORTH WATCHING.

WHAT THE...

OH, NO! THEY WAS JUST DECOYS!

MORAY RAIDING PARTY OFF THE STARBOARD BOW!

YO-O-O, JOE! YO-O-O, JOE! YO-O-O, JOE!

POUR IT ON!

AAH!

OHH! OHH!

[ ENGINES REV ]

HEY, GYRENE, YOUR AIM IMPROVED ANY

SINCE WE LAST WENT TARGET SHOOTING?

WATCH ME!

[ LAUGHS ]

TOOK YOU FOUR!

AW, NOTHING SATISFIES YOU, WET SUIT.

STOP BICKERING, YOU GUYS! HE'S GETTING AWAY!

Destro: THAT OIL TANKER IS OUR ESCAPE TICKET.

FIRE TORPEDO.

QUICKLY! WE HAVEN'T MUCH TIME.

BLASTED BILGE RATS. WE'RE BLOCKED BY THESE FLAMES.

I'M GOING DOWN TO GIVE DEEP SIX AND TORPEDO SOME BACKUP.

UH-OH. LISTEN UP, GUYS.

A TRIO OF SEA SNAKES ARE SWIMMING YOUR WAY.

DON'T WORRY. WE'LL STOP THEM.

FORWARD. WE'VE GOT THEM OUTNUMBERED.

HOLD ON, TORPEDO. I'M GOING TO GET WET SUIT.

WET SUIT, TORPEDO,

LET'S GIVE 'EM THE OLD SCREEN PLAY.

YO-O-O, JOE!

YOU'VE FORCED ME TO RETALIATE WITH THIS.

AAH! A FOAM BOMB!

CAN'T...GET...LOOSE!

ENJOY YOURSELVES ON THE SURFACE, JOES.

WE'RE HAVING A BARBECUE.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

MAYBE I'VE GOT A WAY TO HELP FIREPROOF US.

MUCH OBLIGED, WET SUIT. NOW, HOW DO WE STOP DESTRO?

Destro: ALL RIGHT, DETONATE.

DEEP SIX: Shipwreck, get below. Destro's in the tomb.

CAN'T. ALL HANDS ARE BUSY UP HERE, DEEP SIX.

Never mind. We're too late, wreck.

Cobra's nailed us again.

Dr. Mindbender: IT'S SGT. SLAUGHTER!

DESTROY THAT MEDDLESOME MASTODON!

COBRA!

COBRA! COBRA!

[ GRUNTS ]

SHALL WE HELP THE GOOD SERGEANT...

PUT OUT HIS FIRE?

LET'S! LET'S!

UH-OH!

THAT'S THE END OF OUR FRIEND SGT. SLAUGHTER.

MAINTAIN THE PERIMETER WHILE I PENETRATE SUN TZU'S COFFIN.

[ BEEPS ]

100 FEET OF EARTH AND CLAY

WON'T STAY COBRA FROM OUR APPOINTED WRONGS.

[ DRILL WHIRRING ]

[ BEEPING ]

[ LASER FIRE ] WHAT?!

IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!

YO-O-O, JOE!

XAMOT, TOMAX, STOP THEM AT ALL COSTS!

COBRA VIPERS, ATTACK!

NOW!

COBRA! COBRA! COBRA! COBRA!

XAMOT, TOMAX, STOP SGT. SLAUGHTER

WHILE I GET SUN TZU'S DNA!

COBRA! COBRA!

LET'S SEE HOW YOUR BROTHER LIKES THIS, XAMOT.

AAAAAAHHH!

WHOA-OA-OA!

STOP! PLEASE, STOP!

OKAY, FINE!

AAAAAAAH!

UGH!

[ BEEPING ]

AH, SUCCESS.

NOW A FAREWELL GIFT FOR SGT. SLAUGHTER.

NOT SO FAST, MINDBENDER!

[ ENGINES POWERING UP ]

YO-O-O, JOE!

Roadblock: MY GUN'S ALL LOADED. MY AMMO BELT'S FULL.

LOAD UP THOSE SKEETS. IT'S TIME TO SAY "PULL!"

NO!

LOOK! SMOKE'S COMING FROM THE DRILL HOLE.

I'M A HARD MAN TO SHAKE, MINDBENDER.

WE'LL SEE ABOUT -- OOF!

YOU'VE BEEN LUCKY,

BUT HERE'S WHERE YOUR FOUR-LEAF CLOVER

TURNS INTO POISON IVY.

[ Strained ] I'M STILL A THORN...IN YOUR SIDE!

Xamot: BEAM THE BLOODY VULTURE!

BLAST HIS BUTT!

ANNIHILATE HIM! ANNIHILATE HIM!

THE TWINS ARE NEXT!

THEN LET ME HELP YOU.

[ GRUNTS ]

[ SIZZLING ]

HOW YOU COMING, SARGE?

MY HEAD FEELS LIKE IT'S BUSTED UP

AS BADLY AS THAT WHATCHA-MA-CALL-IT.

THIS LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THOSE DEVICES

DUKE AND FLINT DESCRIBED.

MY HUNCH IS WHATEVER COBRA'S AFTER IS TIED IN TO THIS.

YO, GENERAL HAWK,

ALPINE THINKS THEY FOUND BEACH HEAD AND MAINFRAME.

I HOPE THEY'RE OKAY, ROADBLOCK.

THEY USED VLAD TEPES' COFFIN FOR PROTECTION

DURING THE CAVE-IN.

WE'LL FIND OUT IN A SEC.

[ HINGES CREAK ]

[ BOTH GASPING ]

THEY'RE ALIVE, GENERAL!

SON OF A GUN! AFTER 18 HOURS UNDER THAT MESS.

BEACH HEAD...

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR DEODORANT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I DON'T USE DEODORANT.

THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

Cobra Commander: ANOTHER MASTER STROKE, MINDBENDER.

YOU PUT MY ELITE VIPERS THROUGH THE WRINGER,

THE TWINS GOT CREAMED,

AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU LOST SUN TZU'S DNA!

WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OF VITAL SIGNIFICANCE!

AS OF NOW,

YOUR LITTLE EXPERIMENT IS DEADER THAN DISCO!

COME, SCRAP IRON.

[ LAUGHS ]

DEADER THAN DISCO -- I LIKE THAT.

I COULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT STAND-UP COMEDIAN.

[ LAUGHS ]

HE'S RIGHT. WITHOUT SUN TZU'S DNA...

...OUR NEW LEADER WILL BE AN EVEN BIGGER DWEEB THAN...

COBRA COMMANDER. COBRA COMMANDER.

UNLESS WE FIND ANOTHER SOURCE OF DNA

ENDOWED WITH SIMILAR QUALITIES.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

SUN TZU WAS A CHINESE MILITARY GENIUS,

THE BEST SOLDIER OF HIS TIME.

IF WE CANNOT HAVE HIS DNA,

WHY NOT USE THE DNA

OF THE GREATEST SOLDIER OF OUR TIME?

SGT. SLAUGHTER!

[ LAUGHING MANIACALLY ]

JOES, THIS IS GENERAL HAWK.

COBRA HAS BEEN RUNNING US RAGGED OVER THE LAST COUPLE DAYS.

IN ADDITION TO THE TOMBS WE TRIED TO DEFEND,

COBRA STRUCK THE TOMBS OF JULIUS CAESAR,

GERONIMO, AND RASPUTIN.

WHAT THEY WANT FROM THESE TOMBS, WE DON'T KNOW,

BUT GENGHIS KHAN'S TOMB IS THE LAST ON THEIR LIST.

FROM NOW ON, THE NAME OF THIS GAME IS "DEFENSE."

COBRA MUST NOT PASS.

ALMOST COMPLETE.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

SOON MY CREATION WILL BE COBRA'S NEW LEADER!

[ LIQUID BUBBLING ]

YOU SEEM PRETTY CHEERFUL...

...FOR A MAN WHOSE PET PROJECT...

Both: ...HAS BEEN REDUCED TO ABJECT FAILURE.

YES, MINDBENDER, WHY ARE YOU SO BLOODY CHEERFUL?

WITH SGT. SLAUGHTER'S DNA, I WILL HAVE THE GENETIC MATRIX

TO CREATE THE PERFECT COBRA EMPEROR!

YOU DON'T HAVE GENGHIS KHAN'S DNA YET...

AND YOU'RE ALREADY PLANNING TO TAKE SGT. SLAUGHTER'S.

Both: FIRST THINGS FIRST, DOCTOR.

THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH.

THEY SHALL NOT SUCCEED!

THIS ONE'S THE SAME AS ALL THE OTHERS, LIFELINE.

YEAH. IT ALL SEEMS TO ADD UP.

WHAT'D YOU FIND OUT, DOC?

WE THINK WE'VE FIGURED OUT THE REASON

COBRA'S BEEN RAIDING ALL THOSE TOMBS, HAWK.

THEY'RE AFTER DNA.

Lifeline: AS IN DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID.

SAY WHAT?

DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID --

THE CHIEF BUILDING BLOCK OF ALL LIFE, GUNG-HO.

[ BARKS ]

GENERAL, WE BELIEVE COBRA HAS THE CAPABILITY

TO COMBINE THOSE STOLEN DNA MOLECULES

TO CREATE AN ARTIFICIAL LIFE-FORM.

Doc; HISTORY HAS BEEN DOMINATED BY DESPOTS AND WARRIORS

LIKE ALEXANDER, VLAD TEPES, NAPOLEON, AND THEIR KIND.

THE GENETIC MAP OF THEIR PERSONAL POWER

IS WITHIN THEIR DNA.

LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE GONNA CREATE

THE WORLD'S FIRST FULLY CLONED SUPER SOLDIER.

WHEN COBRA HAS ALL THE DNA THEY NEED,

THEY'LL START BREEDING THEM BY THE THOUSANDS.

Hawk: BUILDING AN ARMY OF THESE WARRIORS

FOR A FINAL CONFRONTATION WITH US.

OUR CHANCE OF WINNING WON'T BE FINE

WHEN COBRA JOINS WITH FRANKENSTEIN.

Hawk: WE'VE GOT AN AIR RAID!

MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS!

NIGHT RAVENS ATTACKING!

LEAVE NO JOES ALIVE!

COBRA!

COBRA! COBRA! COBRA! COBRA!

YEE-HAW!

J.E.B. STUART, YOU IS AVENGED!

Man: THAT MANIAC IS GOING TO RAM US.

JUMP! GO! ALL RIGHT!

YAHOO! LET'S KNOCK 'EM BACK, JOES!

WAY BACK!

YO-O-O, JOE! GO, MAN, GO!

IT'S TURKEY-SHOOT TIME IN CENTRAL ASIA.

SO LET'S GOBBLE 'EM UP!

WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING, FOOLS!

I DON'T WANT THE SERGEANT SLAUGHTERED --

AT LEAST, NOT YET.

MOVE OR BE MELTED!

Dr. Mindbender: DISENGAGE!

[ JOES CHEERING ]

Hawk: AT EASE. AT EASE.

SAVE THE CELEBRATION, MEN.

UNLESS I MISS MY GUESS, THAT WAS ONLY ROUND ONE.

Cobra Commander: ANOTHER CATASTROPHE, MINDBENDER.

THIS FIASCO HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH.

I HEREBY ORDER YOU TO ABANDON YOUR INSANE EXPERIMENT.

YOU ARE UNDER HOUSE ARREST!

HA!

SEIZE HIM!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

PERHAPS YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME.

I SAID, "SEIZE HIM!"

EVERYONE HEARD YOU, MY DEAR COBRA COMMANDER,

BUT NO ONE CARES TO OBEY.

YOU SEE, OUR LAST ATTACK WAS MERELY A DIVERSION.

MY NEXT WILL BRING THEM CALAMITY AND US VICTORY,

AND NOTHING YOU CAN SAY OR DO WILL STOP IT.

NOTHING.

YOU HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS, MINDBENDER.

CONTINUE WITH YOUR PLAN, BY ALL MEANS.

I SHALL BE WAITING TO REWARD YOUR GENIUS

OR TO HAVE YOU BEHEADED FOR TERMINAL STUPIDITY!

I HAVE SPOKEN.

ENEMY AIRCRAFT APPROACHING, AND, BROTHER, IT'S A BIG ONE!

CONVERGE ON INTRUDER AND ELIMINATE SAME.

YO-O-O, JOE!

SHE'S HIT! SHE'S GONNA CRASH!

EVACUATE THE IMPACT AREA!

WAIT!

IT'S A TRICK, GENERAL. SHE WASN'T HIT AT ALL.

WE'VE BEEN HAD BY SMOKE POTS AND SPECIAL EFFECTS.

COME ON.

Y-O-O-O, JOE!

THE FOOLS PLAYED RIGHT INTO MY HANDS.

FIRE AT WILL!

BRING ME KHAN'S SARCOPHAGUS.

WE CAN LET 'EM REEL IN THAT FISH.

PUNCH THROUGH THE WALL.

Y-O-O-O, JOE!

CAREFUL, YOU CLODS.

COME CLOSE ENOUGH TO MAKE IT LOOK GOOD,

BUT DON'T DAMAGE THE MERCHANDISE!

THEY SNAGGED IT!

[ GRUNTS ]

LET LOOSE, YOU BLASTED GRAVE ROBBER!

THEY'VE GOT SGT. SLAUGHTER!

YOU CLOWNS DON'T KNOW IT, BUT YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE!

[ LAUGHS ]

SUCH A SENSE OF HUMOR, SGT. SLAUGHTER.

YOU WILL BE A SUPERB ADDITION TO MY COLLECTION OF DNA.

B.A.T.s, BRING HIM TO ME!

ONE CONCUSSION SANDWICH, COMIN' UP!

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

WHAT IS THIS? A STOWAWAY?

SCRAP IRON, DISPOSE OF HIM!

NO! WE NEED HIM!

LIKE A HOLE IN THE HEAD.

DISPOSE OF HIM AT ONCE!

NOOOOO!

TUNE IN TOMORROW

WHEN THE JOES ORGANIZE A DANGEROUS MISSION

INTO THE TERRORDROME ITSELF.

DR. MINDBENDER'S MAD DREAM OF GENETIC ENGINEERING

IS THWARTED BY TREACHERY WITHIN HIS OWN RANKS.

BUT UNDAUNTED, DR. MINDBENDER PURSUES HIS GOAL

OF CREATING THE ULTIMATE COBRA EMPEROR.

ALL IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE

OF "ARISE, SERPENTOR, ARISE!"

THE TRAIN! LET'S BEAT IT!

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

COME ON, HURRY! WE CAN MAKE IT!

HEY, STOP! IT'S TOO LATE TO CROSS.

HOLD UP!

HAWK! THAT'S A DANGEROUS GAME

YOU TWO WERE PLAYING.

LISTEN TO YOUR FRIEND CHRIS.

THOSE GATES ARE PROVIDED AS A WARNING

TO LET YOU KNOW THAT'S IT'S NOT SAFE TO CROSS.

WE COULD'VE BEEN HURT.

NOW WE KNOW.

AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE.

♪ G.I. JOE