Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

SUCKER, YOU ARE OUT OF LUCK,

SO WHEN IT COMES, YOU BETTER DUCK.

Wild Bill: NOW, YOU JUST PUT IT OVER THE PLATE, ROADBLOCK,

AND I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO

ABOUT SENDING IT TO YOUR AUNT IN PEORIA.

DEAR SALLY, YOUR LAST LETTER REALLY WOUNDED MY HEART.

HEY! [ SQUAWKS ]

A JOE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALERT, SHIPWRECK.

IF A POP FOUL CAN BEAN YOU, YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE COBRA CAN.

Beach Head: WEREN'T YOU A LITTLE SOFT ON HIM, GENERAL HAWK?

ALL THE GUYS HAVE SEEN A LOT OF COMBAT LATELY, BEACH HEAD.

THEY DESERVE SOME R&R.

Wet Suit: NEXT TIME WE'RE IN COMBAT, LEATHERNECK,

REMIND ME TO GET RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

THAT'LL BE THE SAFEST PLACE.

[ LASER FIRE ]

WOW! WHO THE...?

COME BACK ON AMATEUR NIGHT, CLOWNS.

Beach Head: YOU CALL THIS MILITARY DISCIPLINE?

CROSS COUNTRY'S PUTTING A TAPE DECK IN HIS HAVOC.

NOW, DON'T YOU FRET NONE, BEACH HEAD.

THIS HERE IS FIGHTIN' MUSIC.

OH, YEAH? YEAH.

EVERY TIME I PLAY IT, SOMEBODY WANTS TO PUNCH ME OUT.

Beach Head: [ LAUGHS ] VERY FUNNY.

NOW, IF I WAS IN CHARGE --

BUT, YOU AREN'T, BEACH HEAD.

FIRST COMES HAWK, THEN DUKE,

THEN ME, AND FINALLY YOU.

YEAH? WELL, MAYBE THAT'LL CHANGE SOMEDAY.

LIFELINE, HAND ME THE CRESCENT WRENCH, WILL YOU?

NO.

WELL, WHY NOT, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD?

OH, BECAUSE HELPING YOU ARM A RESCUE CHOPPER

GOES AGAINST MY PRINCIPLES. THAT'S WHY.

Lift Ticket: FOR SOMEBODY WHO'S AGAINST VIOLENCE,

YOU SURE PICKED A PECULIAR BUNCH TO HANG AROUND WITH.

Beach Head: PACIFISTS IN G.I. JOE.

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO THIS OUTFIT?

Man on radio: HE'S FADING BACK TO PASS.

THERE IT GOES!

SLIPSTREAM! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON ALERT!

YES, SIR! I AM ALERT, SIR!

Cobra Commander: [ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

WHAT EXQUISITE TIMING.

THE JOES HAVE ALLOWED THEMSELVES TO BECOME SOFT AND WEAK.

ARE THE B.A.T.s READY, SCRAP IRON?

Scrap Iron: YES, DESTRO.

THIS IS THE LAST BATTLE ANDROID TROOPER.

[ ELECTRICITY BUZZES ]

WE'RE READY TO ATTACK.

Commander: THEN, MOVE OUT!

COBRA!

GOT YOU THIS TIME, MAINFRAME.

WRONG AGAIN, DIAL TONE.

[ BEEPING ]

YO-O-O, JOE!

Beach Head: WHAT THE HECK YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE DOING?!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MONITORING THE BASE PERIMETER!

IN 'NAM, I LEARNED THE BEST WAY TO STAY ALERT ON GUARD DUTY

IS TO OCCASIONALLY DIVERT YOUR ATTENTION

SO YOU WON'T GET THE THOUSAND...

YARD...STARE? [ ALARMS BLARING ]

GENERAL QUARTERS! NOW!

[ ALARM BLARING ] Commander: THEY SOUNDED THE ALARM!

ATTACK!

[ HYDRAULICS WHIRRING ]

COBRA!

DUKE, FORM A UNIT AND HIT COBRA'S FLANK.

WE'VE GOT TO PREVENT A PINCERS MOVEMENT ON OUR CONTROL CENTER.

REGROUP ALL UNITS AND FALL BACK!

WE'LL MAKE OUR STAND ON THE AIRFIELD!

FOUR SLOW JOES.

Xamot: FOUR SORRY JOES!

[ LASER FIRE ]

RATHER POOR SHOTS, EH, TOMAX?

AWFUL. THAT'S WHAT I'D SAY, XAMOT.

Hawk: WHY IS COBRA COMMANDER USING STUNS?

THEY'RE FAST, BUT THEY DON'T HAVE THE ARMOR OR THE PUNCH

OF THE OLD H.I.S.S. TANKS.

Duke: MAYBE OLD CHROME DOME IS RUNNING LOW ON --

HOLD ON!

[ BEEP ]

WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?!

THEY LOOK LIKE ROBOTS.

Commander: BATTLE ANDROID TROOPERS!

FORWARD AND DESTROY!

[ LASER FIRE ]

WE KEEP BLASTING, BUT THEY DON'T DROP.

THERE AIN'T NO WAY TO MAKE THEM STOP!

Commander: [ LAUGHS ] SUPERB!

NOW WE MUST PRESS OUR ADVANTAGE.

ALL STUNS! FORWARD TO VICTORY!

UNWISE, COMMANDER.

YOU SHOULD KEEP SOME OF OUR FORCES...

Both: ...IN RESERVE.

BALDERDASH, YOU TWIN NITWITS!

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY AUTHORITY!

AT LONG LAST, THE JOES ARE DOOMED,

AND ALL BECAUSE OF MY SUPERB LEADERSHIP!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

WAIT. WHAT'S THAT?

UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT ON THE LEFT FLANK!

INTERCEPT AND DESTROY!

Hawk: PREPARE FOR HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT, JOES!

WAIT. HOLY... WHAT IS THAT?!

COBRA, ATTACK!

Flint: WELL, NOW THINGS ARE GOING TO GET INTERESTING.

[ GRUNTS ]

THAT'S SERGEANT SLAUGHTER!

HE MUST HAVE PICKED UP DIAL TONE'S MESSAGE.

WOW! HOLY MACKEREL.

COME ON, YOU GUYS. I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP!

LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT OURSELVES A SECOND FRONT.

LET'S TAKE 'EM APART!

YO-O-O, JOE! YO-O-O, JOE! YO-O-O, JOE!

[ LASER FIRE ]

Commander: RETREAT!

ABANDON THE B.A.T.s AND FLEE!

WITHOUT COBRA TO GIVE THEM DIRECTION,

THESE DROIDS ARE READY FOR JUNK COLLECTION.

Xamot: COBRA COMMANDER...

Tomax: ...HAS BLOWN IT AGAIN!

Roadblock: WOW! LOOK AT THIS MESS.

WHO IS THIS GUY, ANYWAY?

Hawk: MEN, YOU ARE LOOKING AT A REAL SOLDIER.

SORRY TO DROP IN UNANNOUNCED, GENERAL HAWK,

BUT IT LOOKED LIKE YOUR PARTY WAS GETTING OUT OF HAND.

Hawk: IT WAS, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

AND THE TRUTH IS, WE DESERVED TO LOSE.

Commander: YOU INGRATES!

IT WAS NOT ME WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR LOSS!

WE LOST BECAUSE YOUR PRECIOUS B.A.T.s

WERE NOTHING BUT INEFFECTUAL, HIGH-TECH DESIGNER DOLLIES!

Dr. Mindbender: THE B.A.T.s WERE PERFECT.

THEY WOULD HAVE WIPED OUT G.I. JOE

IF YOU HAD DEPLOYED THEM CORRECTLY!

Commander: DR. MINDBENDER.

NOW THE JOES WILL BE ON GUARD AGAINST FUTURE ATTACKS!

NONSENSE!

YOU HAVE SET BACK OUR LONG-AWAITED DAY OF TRIUMPH!

MAY I REMIND YOU, DR. MINDBENDER,

THAT YOU ARE MERELY

COBRA'S CHIEF INTERROGATOR AND SCIENCE OFFICER?

THERE'S NOTHING IN YOUR FILE

THAT CLASSIFIES YOU AS A MILITARY GENIUS!

[ GROANS ]

I HAVE HAD A STRANGE, RECURRING DREAM LATELY --

A DREAM WHICH SAYS THE TIME IS COMING

WHEN COBRA MUST FIND A NEW LEADER.

I BELIEVE THAT TIME IS...

NOW!

"G.I. JOE" WILL RETURN AFTER THESE MESSAGES.

NOW BACK TO "G.I. JOE."

Sgt. Slaughter: GLAD I COULD BE OF SERVICE, GENERAL HAWK,

BUT I BETTER GET BACK TO BIVOUAC.

I GOT ME A BAD BUNCH OF PROBLEM RECRUITS TO TRAIN.

WAIT A MINUTE, SLAUGHTER.

THE JOES HAVE GOTTEN CARELESS AND SLOPPY.

WHY DON'T YOU STICK AROUND AND TRAIN THEM?

WHY? YOU'VE ALREADY GOT THE BEST MEN AVAILABLE.

NO, I WANT YOU TO STAY AND WHIP THEM INTO SHAPE.

WELL...

O-KAY. I'M YOUR MAN.

SLAUGHTER-HOUSE STYLE TRAINING

STARTS AT 0600 HOURS TOMORROW, READY OR NOT.

Dr. Mindbender: [ GROANING ]

NO!

[ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

CONFUSED. CAN'T COMPREHEND IT.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

[ GROANING ]

AAAAAAAAH!

THE LIGHT!

THE ANSWER LIES WITHIN THAT SPIRAL OF LIGHT!

OHHHH!

BELOVED COBRA COMMANDER, DO NOT THINK ME DISLOYAL.

AAAAAAH!

ALL RIGHT! I ADMIT -- I'M LYING!

BUT MERCY IS THE HALLMARK OF GREATNESS,

OH, MAGNIFICENT ONE.

NO! PLEASE! DON'T CRUSH ME!

[ GLASS SHATTERS ]

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

THERE'S SOMETHING FAMILIAR ABOUT THAT SPIRAL.

I-I'VE SEEN IT BEFORE.

[ WHOOSHING ]

AAAAAH!

[ HEARTBEAT ]

A HEARTBEAT! SOMEONE IS OUT THERE!

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

OF COURSE!

IF WE CAN'T FIND A NEW LEADER, I SHALL MAKE ONE!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ ALARM BLARING ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

Sgt. Slaughter: GOOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEADS.

I'M SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU GOT YOUR LAZY CARCASSES OUT OF BED.

NOW, YOU SLOBS HAVE HAD IT TOO SOFT.

YOU GUYS ARE SUPPOSED TO KEEP OUR COUNTRY SAFE FROM COBRA,

SO, STARTING TODAY, WE'RE GONNA FIX ALL THAT.

GIVE YOUR HEARTS TO AMERICA, JOES,

'CAUSE YOUR BUTTS BELONG TO ME!

NOW, COMMENCE RUNNING! MOVE IT!

HEY, YA, 2, 3, 4!

GOOD WORK, SERGEANT.

THIS IS JUST WHAT THE JOES NEED TO GET MOTIVATED.

HAPPY TO HEAR THAT,

'CAUSE WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, GENERAL HAWK,

YOU'RE A JOE, AND YOU'RE GONNA JOIN 'EM.

[ Chuckling ] YES, SIR.

PICK 'EM UP AND PUT 'EM DOWN!

YEAH! HUP! HUP! HUP! HUP! HUP! HUP! HUP!

PATHETIC!

I'VE GOT AN ARTHRITIC GRANDMOTHER

WHO COULD BEAT THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU!

TALK'S CHEAP, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

IF YOU'RE SO BLASTED TOUGH, WHY DON'T YOU PROVE IT?

COME ON. TRY ME.

BUT MAKE IT INTERESTING.

ALL OF YOU TACKLE ME AT ONCE.

DID I MAKE MY POINT?

Sgt. Slaughter: MOVE! BEND THOSE KNEES!

PICK UP YOUR FEET AND MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!

♪ WE'VE GOT TO REMEMBER HOW TO WIN ♪

♪ GRIT THEM TEETH AND DIG ON IN ♪

YO, JOE!

All: YO, JOE!

LET'S GO! YO, JOE!

LET'S GO! YO, JOE!

YO, JOE!

Sgt. Slaughter: BETTER. NOT PERFECT, BUT BETTER.

COBRA COMMANDER MUST NEVER LEARN OF THIS MEETING.

IF HE DOES, THE FUTURE OF OUR GREAT MOVEMENT

[ BUZZING ] ...AND EVEN OUR LIVES COULD BE IN JEOPARDY.

GENTLEMEN, WE ARE SUFFERING FROM A CRISIS IN LEADERSHIP.

Commander: CONGRATULATIONS, SCRAP IRON.

THE BUG YOU PLANTED IS WORKING BEAUTIFULLY.

IT SEEMS OUR PRESENT LEADER IS WORTHLESS.

I WILL CREATE A NEW ONE.

GENTLEMEN, I GIVE YOU

THE DOUBLE SPIRAL OF LIFE ITSELF --

DNA.

DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID.

I PROPOSE TO CONSTRUCT OUR NEW LEADER

OUT OF DNA MOLECULES TAKEN FROM HISTORY'S GREATEST CONQUERORS.

THEIR TOMBS SHALL PROVIDE US WITH THE RAW MATERIAL I NEED --

A MOLECULE HERE, A MOLECULE THERE.

THE MILITARY BRILLIANCE OF NAPOLEON...

THE FEROCITY OF GENGHIS KHAN...

THE LEADERSHIP OF ALEXANDER...

THE EVIL OF IVAN THE TERRIBLE.

THESE AND THE QUALITIES OF MANY OTHERS

SHALL MERGE INTO OUR NEW SYNTHETIC LEADER --

THE COBRA EMPEROR.

Commander: NEVER! I WON'T ALLOW IT!

[ SHOUTS ]

WE MUST BEGIN AT ONCE!

Commander: TREACHERY!

I ACCUSE YOU OF VILE ACTS OF BASE TREASON!

FOR THIS, YOU SHALL PAY THE ULTIMATE PENALTY!

ELIMINATE US, AND THERE WILL BE NO ONE LEFT

TO FOLLOW YOUR ORDERS.

YOU LIE! MY GUARD IS LOYAL!

WOULD YOU REALLY CARE

TO TEST THE TRUTH OF THAT STATEMENT, COMMANDER?

[ WEAPONS COCK ]

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

YOU MISJUDGE ME

IF YOU THINK I'M MOTIVATED SOLELY BY SELFISHNESS.

WHY SHOULD WE WAR AMONG OURSELVES

WHEN WE HAVE G.I. JOE FOR A COMMON ENEMY?

IN FACT, I ORDER YOU

TO CREATE THIS PERFECT COBRA LEADER

SO I, TOO, MAY FOLLOW HIM TO VICTORY!

COBRA!

AND, UH, GET SOMEONE TO FIX THAT DOOR.

I'M NOT SURE, BUT I THINK WE WON.

COBRA COMMANDER, YOU'RE NOT REALLY GONNA THROW IN

WITH THOSE TRAITORS, ARE YOU?

OF COURSE NOT, YOU HALF-WIT.

IS THIS THE FACE OF A PATSY?

N-NO, IT'S NOT.

CORRECT.

LET MINDBENDER TRY TO CREATE A LEADER FROM DNA MISHMASH.

HE'LL ONLY FAIL AND HUMILIATE HIMSELF.

AND IF HE SUCCEEDS?

IF HE SUCCEEDS,

I WILL MASTER, MESMERIZE, AND MANIPULATE HIS CREATURE

LIKE A PATHETIC PUPPET.

I SHALL BECOME AN EVEN GREATER POWER BEHIND THE THRONE.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

THEY'RE LOOKING GOOD, SERGEANT.

THEY WERE ALWAYS GOOD, GENERAL HAWK.

THEY JUST FORGOT WHAT IT TAKES TO STAY THAT WAY.

[ ALARM BLARING ] ATTENTION, A COBRA NIGHT RAVEN

HAS BREACHED NORTH AMERICAN AIRSPACE.

SCRAMBLE FOR BATTLE!

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA SEE HOW EFFECTIVE

YOUR TRAINING WAS, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER.

Slipstream: YO, JOE!

RESCUE BACKUP FOLLOWING. YO, JOE!

Slipstream: BOGEY SIGHTED AT 3:00.

MOVING IN FOR A LOOK-SEE.

Pilot: A JOE CONQUEST ON OUR TAIL. ARMING DRONE.

[ LASER FIRE ]

Slipstream: UH-OH. GOT A DRONE. 12:00, DEAD-ON.

LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA BE THE FILLING IN A MISSILE SANDWICH!

[ LASER FIRE ]

Lift Ticket: I LOVE A COOKOUT, BUT NOT IF I'M THE MAIN COURSE.

[ BEEPING ]

HEY, LOOK!

A COBRA MESSAGE POD.

A GOLD BAR AND A ROLL OF PARCHMENT.

HMM,.

IT'S A COMMUNIQUé FROM DR. MINDBENDER

TO ZARTAN AND HIS DREADNOKS.

YOU MEAN THEY CAN READ?

Hawk: THIS IS A CONTRACT BETWEEN ZARTAN AND COBRA

REGARDING A MISSION SO IMPORTANT,

ZARTAN IS ASKED TO BRING IN, FOR BACKUP SUPPORT,

HIS BROTHER AND SISTER, ZANDAR AND ZARANA.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

ZARTAN IS ALSO RECRUITING AT LEAST ONE MORE DREADNOK.

WHATEVER THAT MISSION IS, IT'S DEFINITELY MAJOR-LEAGUE.

THIS HERE IS ZARTAN'S VERY HEAVY DOWN PAYMENT.

AND WE'VE GOT TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING DOWN

BEFORE IT PICKS UP STEAM.

I NEED THREE VOLUNTEERS.

VOLUNTEERS?

ONE, TWO, THREE. NOW, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN MIND?

INFILTRATE ZARTAN'S CAMP

AND FIND OUT WHAT THIS SECRET MISSION IS ALL ABOUT.

THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOR COMING

TO THE FIRST ANNUAL AUDITION FOR MEMBERSHIP

IN OUR SMALL BUT ELITE SOCIETY OF DREADNOKS.

TO MATCH YOUR COLLECTIVE IQs, I'VE MADE THE RULES SIMPLE.

WHOSEVER LEFT STANDING AT THE END OF THE AUDITION

BECOMES OUR NEXT DREADNOK.

[ LAUGHS ]

AND THAT WILL BE ME, MISTER.

YEAH? WELL, YOU'LL BE THE FIRST ONE DOWN.

I'LL SEE TO THAT.

OH, THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK, FAT STUFF.

START AUDITIONING!

[ ENGINES REV ]

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

HOPE YOUR INSURANCE IS PAID UP, SUCKER!

[ LAUGHING ]

UNH!

YOU WERE SAYING?

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

WE'VE GOT TO GET CLOSER.

WE WILL.

LOOKS LIKE IT'S ALMOST OVER.

HE USED STUN GRENADES! THAT'S CHEATING!

OF COURSE IT'S CHEATING, YOU NIT.

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT -- SPORTSMANSHIP?

Zartan: ALL RIGHT, FELLOW. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

YOU CAN CALL ME MONKEYWRENCH.

ME HOBBIES ARE HEAVY METAL, UNPROVOKED MAYHEM,

AND EXPLOSIONS --

LOUD EXPLOSIONS.

[ LAUGHS ]

A FITTING APPELLATION.

WELCOME TO THE DREADN--

Thrasher: I BELIEVE YOU ARE PREMATURE, SIR.

THERE IS ONLY ONE APPLICANT SUITABLE FOR THE POSITION

OF NEW DREADNOK, AND THAT IS ME -- THRASHER.

WELL, AIN'T YOU THE ONE!

QUITE SO.

AND I ALSO CAN PROVIDE MY OWN VEHICLE.

CHARMING.

AIN'T IT JUST?

HE STAYED BACK WHILE THE OTHERS BEAT THEMSELVES UP.

WHICH CONCLUSIVELY PROVES MY INTELLIGENCE,

A QUALITY YOUR PRESENT DREADNOKS LACK, DON'T THEY?

[ STAMMERING ]

[ GRUNTING ]

WE AIN'T INTELLIGENT, EH?

WE'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S INTELLIGENT, WE WILL!

Thrasher: HEY, WHAT'S THIS?!

AAAAAAH!

[ LAUGHTER ]

OHHHHH! [ SPITS ]

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

UH --

Sgt. Slaughter: AT EASE, DISEASE.

Low Light: MAKE LIKE ICE AND FREEZE.

JOES! WHAT DO YOU WANT?

YOU ARE GONNA TELL US ABOUT YOUR SECRET MISSION,

OR WE'RE GONNA ROTATE YOUR EARS.

NOT SO FAST, SISTER Z.

IS THERE ANYTHING LEFT TO READ?

HAVE A LOOK.

COBRA PLANS TO BREAK INTO THE TOMBS

OF SOME OF HISTORY'S MOST INFAMOUS CONQUERORS.

Beach Head: WHAT THE HECK FOR?

LOOKS LIKE THAT INFORMATION WENT UP IN SMOKE.

[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ] HUH?

I CAME BACK TO PUNISH YOU FOR YOUR INSOLENCE, ZARTAN,

BUT INSTEAD, TO PROVE MY WORTH, I'LL DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES.

AGREED?

FINISH THEM, AND YOU SHALL BE ONE OF US.

Thrasher: COBRA!

[ LASER FIRE ]

GAH!

COME ON, LOW LIGHT. ON YOUR FEET.

Beach Head: THIS WAY. WE'LL MAKE A STAND HERE.

RIGHT ON.

Thrasher: THE GAME IS UP, GENTLEMEN!

I BID YOU A FOND ADIEU!

[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

TUNE IN TOMORROW

AS DR. MINDBENDER'S PLAN TO CREATE A COBRA EMPEROR

TAKES G.I. JOE TO DEADLY ENCOUNTERS

AT THE TOMB OF NAPOLEON...

THE EGYPTIAN VALLEY OF THE KINGS...

THE ANCIENT AZTEC POOL OF DEATH...

THE TERRIFYING CASTLE OF DRACULA...

AND A FIERCE SIBERIAN SNOWSTORM,

WHERE A RETURN BATTLE

WITH THE UNSTOPPABLE BATTLE ANDROID TROOPERS

THREATENS THE VERY FUTURE OF THE EARTH --

ALL IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE

OF "ARISE, SERPENTOR, ARISE!"

[ COUGHING ]

THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST-LOOKING BIKE ON THE BLOCK.

OOH, I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.

HEY, EZRA, DON'T YOU KNOW

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO USE SPRAY PAINTS

WITHOUT LOTS OF FRESH AIR?

[ BOTH ] DIAL TONE!

ALL PAINTS, AND ESPECIALLY SPRAY PAINTS,

HAVE POISONOUS GASES IN THEM.

IF YOU BREATHE TOO MUCH, YOU CAN GET VERY SICK.

WE DIDN'T KNOW.

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL CAREFULLY

AND CHECK FOR WARNINGS BEFORE YOU START ANY JOB.

WOULDN'T HURT TO WEAR THESE MASKS, EITHER.

[ BOTH ] NOW WE KNOW.

AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE.

♪ G.I. JOE