Original subtitles

Wait right here.

She's getting away!

She's getting away!

Sit down!

I snore, dude.

And you don't?

Don't let him kid you, Brian. He could set off a car alarm.

I got chilly during the night.

That's when I'm here for a wife, remember?

Okay.

I finally got you out of the office.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Oh, I forget. Where are the restrooms?

Ours is over there.

And ours are over here.

What the hell is this?

It's a tracking device.

In case we need a plan B.

We don't need your stupid plan B. My plan A works fine. I said in case. And I

heard you.

Hey, kid!

Stop it!

You better not have messed anything up with your stupid tracker.

Things are worth more than your life. I put the trackers on the cases, not the

devices.

I'm not that stupid.

I'm not so sure.

You know, why the hell did you have to track this? This wasn't your job.

Don't move!

Hands up!

What are you doing?

Put this helicopter down!

I said put it down!

No place to land!

Get rid of him!

We are screwed!

No. If he put chips on those cases, we could find them.

You heard the lady.

There are bugs everywhere out here.

Okay, Miss Ongoing Camping.

Brian's idea.

His idea was for you to drag your big sister along.

I don't know him very well. An entire weekend camping?

No, I get it.

Has the potential to be a nuclear disaster.

Hey, thanks again for being here.

Of course.

Happy to.

So, how is it so far?

So far, okay.

I think he's a little gun shy.

He'll come around.

And when he does, if he makes you feel at all uncomfortable, I want you to be

safe.

You got me a rape whistle?

It's a trouble whistle.

Whatever.

What's wrong with the whistle?

What's the thing he's making us do?

Geocamping? I don't know.

I don't know either.

But I think it'll be good for Mike.

He's been getting a little soft.

Working too much. Not the same?

Just wish he'd put a little more oomph into life.

You know there are two people in a relationship.

What's that supposed to mean?

How many years have you been married?

Seven. And how many nights do you wear sweatpants to bed?

Seven.

And how many nights do they stay on? Do not say seven.

Six.

Point seven.

Here.

You need that more than me.

Where the hell are we?

Why did you let him do that? Because he had a freaking gun in my hand.

Take that. Figure it out as we go.

Go? I am not dressed to go anywhere in the woods.

And I'm not dressed to listen to your pitching.

The sooner we find those cases, the sooner we're out of here.

How far back did they fall out?

A mile and a half. Two miles.

One mile.

About 20 minutes, two miles, gross, round trip, less than an hour and a

half. Okay, we should be out of here in three hours time.

Three hours?

Just shut up.

Okay?

Button.

Geocache.

C-A-C-H-E, like a data cache or a proxy cache.

Just try it. You'll see. It's really fun. We're clean.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Take that.

So the plan is geocaching.

Geocaching. This is a GPS unit and a tracking device.

So we start by plugging in... Thank you. You're welcome.

We start by plugging in the coordinates of where my fellow geocachers have

cached their cache.

And then we find the coordinates and dig up a treasure.

Ooh, a treasure.

All right. Well, let's do it.

Let's go.

How far?

Two miles.

Let's go.

Can't catch me.

Yes, I can.

Watch out for the target to go down during Ratican.

What's that?

Poison ivy.

So you're an engineer?

Yeah.

Yeah, I, uh... I wonder which way they went.

Hello?

Mike!

Tori!

Well, I guess somebody wanted to be alone.

I think they went that way.

I bet I can do this.

Do what?

Mike, no.

Lori! Over here!

I used to handle this easily.

Old Mike, yeah, piece of cake.

New high cholesterol Mike?

Come on, I'm out of cell range and I don't know how to send 911 smoke

signals.

Ah, it's the shoes.

I should have taken them off.

It's not broken.

How's it feel?

It's good. I'm fine.

You should probably ice it.

Thank you, Brian.

When we were in Baghdad, it was a great gun.

It's a really saturated target.

But like when we were sent to Kandahar, we were kind of short because the range

is only about 600 yards.

What are you doing?

I just killed a dandelion.

Like I said, anyway, if you're out in the mountains with the M4, you're apt.

It only has like a range of...

This is it. We're here. This is what? We're where?

At the coordinates.

The cache is around here somewhere. We just have to find it.

Okay. This should be fun.

Right. We can do this.

Think. Where would you bury something around here?

Upside down V.

P.P. Francis.

High in the ground.

Balancing.

Now, let me show you how it's done.

Got to be here.

Yeah.

Here.

Hey, guys.

Looking for this?

Where did you find that?

Well, I have my own coordinates.

Well, I guess that's it, then.

Who's the geodigger?

Yeah.

Let's open it.

Oh, yeah.

All right.

What did we win?

Awesome? Is there an instruction manual?

I don't know.

Well,

that's

weird. What?

It's proper geocaching etiquette to leave your name and where you're from,

but there's nothing.

Well... Maybe it's the bubble wrap we're supposed to find.

Well, I like it, and we didn't even have to dig.

Now what?

Now we replace the cache with something of our own.

Where'd you get that?

Last time I went caching.

Oh.

We should all buy dolphin-safe tuna.

Don't you got little...

Oh, look what I found. These are so cool. I just got them. They're

transmitters that periodically upload their coordinates to my NAS server back

at home.

It works kind of like the tracking technology in cell phones now.

Everybody, it's a hobby. Best part, I can give custom names to my devices.

I can tell it how often to upload data.

Or I can just track it if I'm close by.

So you can track your Tina Buttons trip around the world.

Oh, my nerd is showing, isn't it?

Yeah. Well, I think it's amazing.

Me too.

Thanks.

All right.

Did you hook that on the back?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Proper etiquette.

All right.

Thank you.

All

right.

I will take this back where I found it, and we're all done.

It's weird that it was in a duffel bag.

Oh well, maybe we'll have better luck with the next one.

Next one?

Oh, we've got a long day ahead of us.

These caches aren't going to find themselves.

Nope.

Here, let me help. Oh, thank you.

Hey, whoa, wait!

when we were sent to Kandahar.

I don't know, it was like sometime in June or, I don't know, maybe July.

But the M4 just didn't have the range we needed. Blah, blah, blah, blah. How much

further?

We're about... It could be another...

I don't know.

Another 12 minutes.

How much farther?

About a mile.

You two don't need us.

We're heading back to camp to ice Mike's ankle.

I'm okay with that.

Do you know where you're going?

Let's see you there.

Take your time. No hurry.

What's right here?

Where?

That's my boy.

Is this some kind of thick joke?

What the hell is this?

God damn it!

Damn it, damn it, damn it!

I did not come all this way to...

To heart, dolphin-shaped tuna.

Brian and Jenny, Mike and Victoria.

Well, where's the other one?

They must have separated during the fall.

Yep.

Let me see that.

You didn't know to set their zone.

Two separate dots!

Well, I don't have my glasses with me.

Freaking believable.

Now we have to go look for the Brady Bunch.

They went that way.

This way?

Let's go.

I just don't know what you were thinking.

I don't know.

You got me excited.

What did you roll in?

What? Why don't you change your clothes? I'll get some ice.

You don't like it dirty?

Burn this.

I'm gonna kill somebody.

Can we rest yet?

Good fellow.

It's a beautiful day, isn't it?

What's going on, guys?

Somebody lost?

We're just passing by.

You guys hear about yourselves?

Yeah.

Camping.

I'm gonna get a bandage.

A bandage? Did you hurt yourself?

No biggie.

Just twisted my ankle.

How long are you here for?

Actually, we were just getting ready to pack up.

All right, I'll be here in an hour or two.

Seen anyone else in the woods?

What do you think you're doing?

Anything?

Nope.

Go on.

Ugh, water.

Hey!

Sweetie, no.

You know anyone named Brian or Mike?

Everybody knows somebody named Mike or Brian.

Pretty common names.

So why do you have two tents?

We're not married.

Then what are the rings for? Enough with the gang.

What do you people want?

I think you know exactly what we want.

Don't you?

Let's just take it easy, okay?

Small device in a case in a bag.

Where is it?

Okay, we didn't know it was yours.

We thought it was part of a gang.

Freaking game.

I buried it!

That wasn't so hard, was it?

Wait, you buried it like a dog?

Thor, shut up!

Who cares why he buried it? Boy Scouts do stupid crap like that.

Find the other one.

If I don't hear, he's going to take us to his hiding place.

Tina, take that girl and meet us back at the helicopter. No, wait. Oh, Mike.

Mike.

Hey, look at that. You know somebody named Mike.

Now that we're all acquainted, let's go find something really expensive, huh?

Hey, hey, you.

Your toy back when I get my toy back.

Knock this stuff off right now. I want to see her alive back at the helicopter.

Got it?

Wait. Well, get them what they want.

We'll be fine.

We're not worth their trouble.

Let's hope not.

Move it.

Now that's more like it.

We find the cache.

There's proper documentation.

And we put something back.

Go ahead.

Open it.

May I?

Yeah.

It was upside down.

Oh.

Me and pretty Jenny, we're geocaching.

Sitting by the elderberry, ain't she smashing?

You may think you're pretty good at geocaching.

But you can't catch me

At

six

seven eight hundred yards you can't hit with a 223 round need something of a

heavy caliber

Something that can hit a major artery in the thigh or even the biceps and sever

that and bleed out. How much farther?

Wait.

I want to hear the rest of this.

Thor.

Don't get you with me. You're not my freaking type.

Now go find the freaking thing.

The M110 rifle.

They're going to send it to Afghanistan.

Faster.

Fair left.

Bitch.

Found me.

What do I get?

Hey Pyro, where is this place?

It's right up there.

Real close.

You know what, Mikey?

I don't believe you.

I think you're leading us in circles.

No.

Why would I do that?

I don't know. Maybe because you care more about your fluffy friend than you

do your little wifey.

I told you.

It's right up there.

I think he's bluffing.

And let go.

Make sure you double tap. It's nine mil. I always freaking double tap.

Did you hear that?

Are there hunters out here?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

Hmm.

You have an interesting life.

Can't argue that.

Where'd you meet?

That's your boyfriend, right?

Thirsty?

Too bad.

Let's go.

Move it.

Rifles don't sound like that.

Maybe we should go back to camp.

Did you hear that?

Yeah.

More gunshots.

It's alright, we'll be okay.

Come on.

Brian.

Be okay.

Come on.

Okay.

Okay,

let's go.

Hey! You know you're not that pretty.

Your husband is no prize either.

Do you hear me?

Point a gun at me. Who brings a gun camping? Really?

What's going on?

They took Tori. What? Who?

Three guys and a woman dressed in suits.

They want that thing we found.

They took Tori so I'd help them find it.

Well, what's all the shooting?

I killed one.

Mike. One's still around here somewhere.

The third is looking for a second box.

The woman has Victoria.

Mike, you're not so good.

There's another dead body over there.

It was a guy in a suit.

It looked like he fell out of a plane.

A chopper.

That's where they're taking her.

What's going to happen to her?

Nothing.

We're going to find that thing and get her back.

Do you still have it?

We cached it under a log. What? I know where it is. I can go get it.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

Okay.

You find that thing.

You get to the road and go for help.

Okay. I'm going to find Tori. No, no, hold on. Let's analyze this. You said

there was another guy looking for the second box.

Yeah. We should stay together, work as a team. No, no.

I need... I need you to find that thing.

Okay? We're wasting time. How many more guns are out there? I don't know.

Look.

Look, we're wasting time.

Just do what I say.

We need to find Tori.

Just wait. Hold on just a second.

The chopper.

This is most of the campsite.

That's where I'll be.

Brian. Hey, it's going to be okay, all right?

She's going to be fine.

Which way for help? No, no, no, no. You're not leaving my side. Brian, you

heard Mike. He needs me.

I go five or ten miles, I will come to a road. I will find help.

Five or ten miles?

That's a long way.

I can do this.

I ran that 10K, remember?

Which way?

Which way?

That way.

Okay. Okay, hold on. Let me make sure.

I'll be keeping tabs on you.

I'm that stupid thing. Be careful.

Go.

Where's my keys?

Huh.

What the hell is this?

I don't know. It's computerific.

I think it's a hard drive.

How did you know what a hard drive looks like? I don't know. That's what a hard

drive looks like.

What are these laser things?

I hope nobody wanted this.

Hey,

you keep half and I keep half.

Ooh. Yeah.

commemorate our wood trick. The bugs are really getting to me.

Watch out for the wildlife. It'll get you.

That's creepy.

Oh, hey, do you think there's deer out here?

Is this the first time you've ever been geocaching? Yeah, actually.

That's what we must have heard earlier.

The hunter is shooting the deer. It's not open season. It must have been like

firecrackers or something.

Firecrackers in the woods? Maybe.

Hi.

Have you heard gunshots?

Sounds like they're dropping like flies out there.

Well, well, well.

What do we have here?

Are you a cop?

Are you gonna kill me?

I know where that thing is!

You mean Brian has it.

You ever see those movies about killing sprees?

I always wanted to do that.

You know, see America, have some fun.

You're going to be okay.

It's nowhere near here.

Jenny! Jenny!

Jenny! Jenny, what happened?

Who did this?

Run,

Brian!

Brian!

Don't move.

I mean it.

Brian, run.

Jenny!

Jenny? Jenny?

Listen.

Over there, underneath the double tree, is my backpack.

The thing they're looking for is inside it.

Go get it, find Mike, and go bring it to him.

What about you?

Well, I think he's out.

Thanks to you.

His gun's around here somewhere. I'll be free in a minute.

Hurry, go get it.

Okay. No, no, no, we can't wait. Just go get it, okay? Please.

Hurry.

Hurry.

You can find me.

Listen.

No matter what you hear, I'll be okay.

That way.

Go.

Five years five freaking years.

I've been in this relationship I

Thought I could get married you into that prick that's never gonna happen

You can do better than him I Mean you're smart obviously

What the frick do you know?

Look at you.

Marriage makes you soft.

You and your loser husband.

I'm saying that... Get up.

Time to go, bitch.

Jenny Mike

Did

you find help got lost But

here it's that thing

I think Brian killed somebody.

We need to find Cory.

What are you doing?

Just in case we need one later.

Come on.

Thank you.

I don't like guns.

Me either.

You need a rest?

No.

Want some water?

Yeah.

Change.

That's a... That's a Tupori.

Now let's see Victoria.

Who the hell are you?

I'm Jenny.

What are you doing here, Jenny?

Oh, you know, Man vs. Wild is like my favorite show.

So I figured I'd get out here and really just dig in.

Have a seat, Jenny.

I don't have germs

That's

not water You

alone

Yes, I am. I am alone.

Aren't we all alone, Jenny?

I mean, really.

You remind me of someone.

Someone I don't like.

Where are you off to, Jenny?

you people.

We're geocachers.

You get out here or I'll shoot her.

Where's my wife?

She's as good as dead.

And worse, that she runs into Luther.

Bleeding that badly?

Some.

It's bad enough.

Where's Victoria?

Baby!

Did you let her get away?

Huh? Did you let her get away?

I didn't sign up for this!

Are you drunk?

This isn't exactly happy hour, Tina!

Where's Jenny? Where's Brian?

I don't know where Brian's at.

He's right behind me.

Where's Thor?

Thor is dead!

What the hell happened to you?

What do we do now?

Just go.

Is that one of them?

Please tell me it's one of them.

Where's that guy?

Not enough money.

If we go now, we're still ahead.

Three-way split instead of five.

I'll take it to Brian.

I said it's not enough money.

Oh, Danny!

I know they have the other one.

Plus, I want to kill that bastard.

You go find Brian.

No. I'm not leaving you.

You wouldn't leave me.

Stay here.

This won't take long.

I want to come too.

Tina, I think we can mess this up without your help.

You two just go.

We're all going together.

Jenny, help me.

Hey, Mikey!

Where'd you go, buddy?

We just get to know each other!

This

is

it?

Isn't there anything else?

my rainy day bullet like I said

let's go

Frickin' bi-

Jenny! It's not nice to play with other people's property.

I gotta admit, I like it when they run.

Come out, Jenny.

I'll tell you what, I promise if you come out now, I'll only hurt you a

little bit.

whole life.

I haven't freaking buried it.

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Is he dead?

No!

What do you want?

Hey, guys.

Ah! Oh.

Just put some ice on that.

They're transmitters that periodically upload the coordinates to my NAS server

back at home.

It's kind of like the tracking technology in cell phones now.

Now he's the bitch.