All language subtitles for The.Impatient.Years.1944.1080p.TCM.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Phallus

Do you solemnly swear to tell
the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?

So help me.

Your name is William Smith?

It is.

You are
the father of the plaintiff
in this divorce case?

I am.

You have heard
the testimony given in this
case and find it true?

I have, and I do.

You were a witness
at the time the defendant
struck the witness?

I was.

Then you agree with
the plaintiff that she should
be granted a divorce?

I do not.

You do not think the plaintiff
has grounds for divorce?

Oh, I suppose she has,
legally.

The testimony given here in
your hearing was the truth?

It was.

There was cruelty evidenced?

Downright brutality.

Then would you mind explaining
why you think a divorce decree
is not in order, Mr. Smith?

Well, Judge, I'm thinking
of you, mostly.

-Of me?
-Yes, sir.

I think you have a heck of
a responsibility in
a thing like this,

and I wouldn't want
to see you go wrong.

You see judge?
This isn't just one
divorce case.

-It's about a million.
-Your Honor, this is...

Just a minute.

What do you mean,
"This isn't one divorce,
it's a million?"

I mean, there's going
to be a million more
just like it,

and maybe if we could
figure this one out,

it would save you and
a lot of other judges a lot
of time in the future.

Your Honor...

-Go on.
-Have you got a minute?

Go on.

Well, when my kid there
got married, she had known
the boy only three days.

Now that doesn't mean
she wasn't brought up right,
or was silly,

or anything that was different
from a million other
nice girls in this country.

It simply meant
that it was wartime,
and they fell in love,

and he had only four days
before being shipped out.

So they got married.

They had only
a few hours together
and he went off to war.

A year and a half later,
he came back.

A year and a half later,
mind you,

when they'd known
each other only four days.

I went with her
to meet the bus.

-Now drink your coffee.
-It's practically due
this minute.

-Well, you can still
drink your coffee.
-No, I'd choke.

-Don't do that, you know
I don't like it.
-I'm sorry.

Relax.

You don't seem
to realize, Dad, I might
not even know him.

-Embarrassing, eh?
-Oh, that's right, be funny.

Oh, Dad!

-My arm is bleeding!
-It's here!

Now take it easy.
He may not even
be on this bus.

Oh, he's got to be.
I couldn't go through
this again.

Dad!

There he is!

Nice-looking boy, isn't he?

What's he got on his face?

What is it?

A mustache!

Something new, huh?

I never saw it before
in my life.

Well don't get sore about it.

Go get him.

-What do I say to him?
-What did you say
when he left you?

Goodbye, I guess.

Well, that wouldn't do now,
would it?

You stay here.

-I'm not going anyplace.
-You stay right here.

Hello.

Hello.

-It is Janie, isn't it?
-Yes.

You look swell, Janie.

Aw, thank you.

So do you.

Uh, I knew you right away.

Oh, I knew you, too.

It was just that, uh...

You didn't do your hair
like that before, did you?

No.

-You didn't have
a mustache, either.
-No.

I guess people can't
expect to be the same.

You know,
it's been quite a while.

Yes.

Yes it has.

I suppose the baby's
changed, too?

I mean, in the pictures
you sent me, he was
such a little guy.

Well, he's still
a pretty little guy, I guess.

I don't suppose you realize
how funny it is having a baby
you've never seen.

I don't suppose you've
ever been in a spot like that.

Well no, I haven't.

Well, shall we go home?

I suppose your father that
you told me about is still
living with you?

Yes, he's right in there.

Oh.

There certainly are
a lot of new things
to get used to all at once.

Aren't there?

Yes, there certainly are.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry
that we couldn't meet you
in San Francisco because...

Well, on account of
the gasoline rationing
and everything...

Oh, the bus was swell.

Nice to have you home!

Oh, thank you, sir,
it's nice to be home.

Yes, it certainly is.

I mean... It certainly is.

Home for good, huh?

Uh, well, sir,
I don't know, I'm on
a convalescent furlough.

I get my final checkup
in about 30 days,
and then I'll know, I guess.

Oh, oh, were you hurt
very badly?

No, sir. Uh... No, ma'am.

Uh... No!

Well, well that's good,
because you didn't
write me anything about it.

Don't suppose you've ever
seen your son.

You know very well he hasn't.

No, sir, you see,
I wasn't there.

I mean, I've been
away ever since.

-Uh, I mean I wasn't here.
-You certainly weren't.

Fine thing to put me
through at my age.

-Yes, sir.
-Too bad about you.

Told Janie I wouldn't
go through that again.

Made her promise she wouldn't
have another baby till you
came home.

Yes, sir, I suppose
that would be better.

I mean, uh, you shouldn't have
to go to all that trouble.

-I suppose he's too young
to do any talking.
-Who?

-Uh, Bill.
-Oh, he talks. He says
"Mama," and "Henry,"

and he calls his grandfather
something, we haven't
been able to make it out yet.

-Who's Henry?
-Henry? He's our boarder.

So Andy came home

to a strange town,
a strange house,

and to a girl he hardly knew,

who was nevertheless his wife,

and to a baby
he'd never even seen.

Oh, Mr. Fairchild, this is
my husband, Sergeant Anderson.

And, uh, well, this is Bill.

Oh, gee,
he's swell-looking, Janie.

I suppose you'd like
to hold him.

Would that be all right?

Oh, certainly.

-Be kind of careful, though.
-Yeah.

Hiya, Bill.

There, there,
now, Bill. There, there.
He wasn't going to hurt you.

I guess he just
doesn't remember you.

-I better take him upstairs,
he's awfully tired.
-Sure.

-I'll be right down.
-We won't be long.

He certainly knows his way
around here, doesn't he?

-Henry?
-Henry.

Henry's lived with us now
for over a year.
Helps with the expenses.

Henry's a very fine young man.

Oh, I'm sure of that.

He's a very fine young man.

You're going to get
very sick of him.

-Good night, Janie.
-Good night, Henry.

If you need me for anything,
just call. I'll be awake,
I won't be asleep.

Need you for what?

Oh, nothing, I guess.

-Good night.
-Good night.

Gee, it's been wonderful.

What?

Oh, this last year,
just you and me and
your father and the baby.

It's been like
my own home, Janie.

Oh, that's nice.

Like my own family.

Oh, good.

I suppose, now he's home,
I better move.

Why?

Well, he's home.

Well, what's that got
to do with you?

Makes things kind of crowded,
doesn't it?

What I mean to say is,
we've been such good friends.

Well, sure.

Well, sometimes people's
husbands don't like them
to have other friends.

Oh, that's silly.

Wha... What I want to say is
that maybe people's husbands
might notice that...

...people's friends
are maybe in love with people.

Henry Fairchild!

Well, all right, I didn't
know it myself until
just now, when I,

when I saw him holding
Bill downstairs.
I don't know, I coulda...

Well gee, he's Bill's father!

-Of course he is!
-Well do you suppose
I like to think about that?

I've been Bill's father
ever since he was born!

Now, all of a sudden,
this guy comes along and...

Well, just because you knew
him slightly a year and a half
ago, he's Bill's father.

Well, if this isn't just about
the silliest conversation
I've ever listened to!

Silly,
but maybe the army doctor
will find out he's all right.

Maybe he'll go away again.

Henry Fairchild!
That's not a nice thing
to say at all.

-Can I come in?
-Yes.

-Oh, I'm sorry.
-Yes, of course.

Did you finally
get him into bed?

Yes.

Well, come in.

Gee, springs!

You know how long it's been
since I slept on springs?

Bet you've got
a mattress on it, too.

-You want me to
warm Bill's bottle?
-Oh, I'll do it.

You know how to warm bottles?

Well surely, I've been doing
it ever since Bill was born.

Quite the mother's little
helper, aren't you?

Uh, I'll just, uh,
go and get it.

Did you want something?

No, I just thought I'd watch
Bill till Janie got back.

Well I won't eat him.
I'm not even hungry.

Oh, I didn't mean that.

Oh, what did you mean?

Well, nothing I guess.

Good night.

I hope the doctor finds out
you're all right.

I'll bet you do.

-I hope you sleep well.
-I'll bet you do.

-Janie.
-Yes?

-I like your husband.
-That's good.

What are you crying about?

You have the most
ridiculous imagination,
really.

Who's crying?
I'm certainly not.

Sorry, I thought you were.

You can do more
peculiar thinking, really.

I suppose you're also thinking
it's easy having
a brand new husband

you've practically
never seen before.

And you hardly have
a chance to speak to him

without people watching you
all over the place

like you were exhibit A
or something.

You know what?

I think Henry's
in love with me.

Didn't you know that before?

-Did you?
-I'm not blind.

Well, that's just fine,
isn't it?

It's very simple.
He can leave.

-Who?
-Henry.

-Don't you love him, Janie?
-Who?

-Andy.
-Of course I do.

But how do I know?
I hardly know him.

It shouldn't be
sudden like this.

A person ought to
have a chance to

sneak up
on a thing like that...

Like this.

Why, it's ridiculous,
that's all.

It's like going out
and finding
a perfect stranger.

-Janie...
-Well, it's not your fault.
I married him, you didn't.

Janie.

Andy's an awfully nice boy.

Why don't you just
talk to him?
Explain it, you know.

Talk to him?

For heaven's sakes,
I hardly know him.

Men don't understand anything,
do they?

Oh, yes, they don't.

-Isn't it awful?
-What's awful about it?

Nothing, oh, nothing.
It's just like having a bomb
in the house, that's all.

That you keep expecting
to explode any minute,
that's all.

-Oh, excuse me.
-Excuse me.

Well, have you two fellas
gotten acquainted?

Well, I think the mustache
scared him, too.

Gee, it's nice
to be home, Janie.

Oh, it's certainly nice
to have you.

You're gonna stay long?
I mean...

Oh, I know what you mean.

Well, you remember I told you
about the med checkup
and everything?

Oh, yes, of course you did.
How stupid of me,
I've forgotten.

Well, you probably had a lot
on your mind.

I mean,
about the baby and all.

Well,
he is quite a mindful, I mean,

you have to think
about him a lot.

I can imagine.

I, uh...

He's really swell, Janie.

Oh, I'm so glad you like him.

You see I didn't know whether
you wanted a boy or a girl.

Oh, a boy.

Well, that's good because
that's what you've got.

Oh, Bill's my father's name.
Was that all right?

Oh, sure. Bill's swell.

I always think "Juniors"
are silly anyway.

Oh, I do, too.

Well, um...

Well what?

Oh, I say that.
I do that sometimes.

You know, I kind of talk
to myself, I guess.

-You do?
-Yeah.

You didn't know that about me,
did you?

Well, I don't know much of
anything about you, I guess.

No.

And that certainly goes
both ways, too.

I mean, we certainly
have been living different
kinds of lives lately.

I mean, I've been taking care
of a baby

and you've been
flying airplanes.

Certainly not anything
alike at all, are they?

No, they're not.

I mean, the thought
of flying a plane
doesn't scare me a bit.

You mean you'd be scared
to change a little old diaper?

Oh, I'd probably faint.

For heaven's sakes!

-Well...
-There, you said it again.

-Said what?
-"Well." You just keep
saying "well."

I do?

I guess you don't get to be
a very good conversationalist

with just a baby to talk to
and your father.

What about Henry?

What do you mean?

Oh, nothing. I just said,
"What about Henry?"

Can't you talk to him?

What about?

I don't know. Anything.

Oh.

Janie, you're going to freeze.

Oh, heavens! I'm not cold.

You forget I was born
and raised in this climate.
I'm used to it.

Why? Are you cold?

Me? No.
I'm half Norwegian, remember?

Did you ever hear
of a Norwegian getting cold?

What nationality are you?

Oh, well, Dad's Irish,
of course.

And my mother was...
Well, just California I guess.

Well, that sure makes Bill
a fine mess, doesn't it?

Well the same mess
most Americans are, I guess.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

-Janie.
-Yes?

Why'd you jump like that for?

Well, you said "Janie"
and I...

Well, I just wanted
to ask you something.

Yes, that's what
I thought you said.

I just wanted to ask you
for a blanket.

A blanket?
What do you want
a blanket for?

To sleep on it.

You wanna sleep on it?

Yeah, the rug's too scratchy.

I tried it
while you were downstairs.

The rug?

Well, springs and
mattresses...

I'm used to the ground,
I wouldn't sleep a wink.

Course, if you haven't got
a blanket, just say so.

Oh, I have a blanket.
We have some lovely ones.

We got them
for our anniversary.

Oh, what anniversary?

Our first anniversary.

-After we'd been married
for a year.
-Oh!

-You weren't there.
-No.

Uh, some of my friends gave us
a party

and there was an empty chair
at the table and that was
supposed to be you.

-Did I have
a good time?
-Oh, you had a wonderful time.

Of course, you got
a little tight, but then
everybody expected that.

Well, this is terrific.

No rain.

No bugs.

No Japs.

Terrific.

Good night, Janie.

Good night, Andy.

I hope Bill
isn't a light sleeper.

-Why?
-I think he'd be ashamed
of his old man.

Good night, Janie.

Good night, Andy.

Who is it?

-Andy.
-Who?

Andy. Janie's husband.

Oh. Oh! Bless my soul.
I forgot all about you.

But just for a second,
you understand.
-Oh, sure. I understand.

Well, how are you, Andy?

-Okay.
-Sleep well?

-Yes, sir.
-Well, that's just fine.

Andy...

Janie's a woman.

And well, women are funny,
skittish kind of people.

But don't think for a moment
she's not in love with you.

-Oh, I don't think that.
-She'll get used to
having you around.

-Right now, it's kind
of strange to her.
-Well, Mr. Smith...

Last night, she wept
all over my shirtfront.

Said it was like having
a bomb in the house
having you back again.

-She cried?
-Well, sure.

Well, you see, she's had it
her own way so long

and, well, she's been
like an old maid.

But an old maid with a baby.

The way it looks like,
women seem to think that's
the ideal existence.

They've got their child,
but they haven't got a husband
to worry about

or get in the way
around the house.

Well...

Do you know
what I'm trying to say?

I think so.

You're trying to say
that Janie's been happier with
me gone than with me here.

No, I didn't say that at all.

It's just that... Well,

nice women seem to have
a mother complex or something.

A child seems to be necessary
and natural to them.

Sort of fills up
their whole life.

Now do you see?

Say, you're making this
very difficult for me.

-I'm making it difficult
for you?
-Now, Andy,

there's nothing for you and me
to quarrel about.

You've got enough
on your hands with Janie.

Well, I'm out of here now.

What's the matter? Did you
forget I was here, too?

-Well, as a matter of fact...
-Go right ahead,
the bathroom's all yours.

Oh, no. Not at all.
We can both shave
at the same time.

No, no. You go ahead.
I'll wait.

Better not.
Janie doesn't like us to be
late for meals.

Throws her off schedule.

What schedule?

-Her work schedule.
-She doesn't work.

She doesn't work? Say, listen.

6:00, she takes Bill up,
dresses him.

6:30, she feeds him.

7:00, she washes the diapers.

8:00, she cooks breakfast.

8:30, she washes the dishes.

-9:00...
-What if you ate longer
than half an hour?

Well, you couldn't, it would
throw her all off.

9:00, she makes the formula,
sterilizes the bottles.

10:00, she feeds Bill.

10:30, she takes him out
for an airing.

11:00, she's gotta be back
and start cooking lunch.

12:00, we eat lunch.

12:30, she washes
the dishes again.

1:00, she cleans
her and Bill's room.

And at 1:30,
she gives Bill his bath

and puts his sleepers on.

2:00, she feeds him again
and puts him down for his nap.

Then between 2:00 and 4:00,
while he's taking his nap,

that's when she cleans
the rest of the house.

4:00, she dresses him
and puts him in the buggy

and takes him downtown
while she does the shopping
for dinner.

And she's gotta be back
at the house by 5:30
to start making dinner.

Then at 6:00,
she feeds Bill again

and at 6:30,
she puts him to bed.

Then at 7:00, we eat dinner.

At 8:00,
she washes the dishes.

At 10:00, she gives Bill
his last bottle,

and at 10:30, she goes to bed.

So you can see what it
would do if you were
10 minutes late for a meal.

Yeah, it terrifies me.

It'd just throw her all off.

That might be good.

-What do you mean?
-Oh, you wouldn't know.

Doesn't she ever go anyplace
or have any fun?

Oh, sure.
She and her dad go to
the pictures now and again.

That sounds so exciting,
I can hardly stand it.

Well, marriage is not
supposed to be exciting.

No, what's it supposed to be?

Well, marriage is
taking responsibility.

Building for the future.

Building what?

Well, if you were married,
you'd know what I mean.

I am married.

Well, in a way, maybe.

What do you mean
"in a way, maybe"?

Uh, don't take offense
at this,

but you've never really been
as much married to Janie
as I have, for instance.

Go on.

I've been living here
with her for a year.

How long have you been
living with her?

You've never really
been her husband.

Did you ever take
the garbage out?

Did you ever wash the diapers?

You ever go for the doctor
in the middle of the night

and worry when Bill
had the colic.

No, you haven't.

Well, I have.

Two minutes to make it.
I'll see you at breakfast.

Yeah.

Judge, it was raining outside

and there was a storm
brewing inside for
Andy's first meal at home.

I told him how much trouble
it would cause you
if he was late.

Thank you, Henry.

He said it might
do you some good.

It might, too.

Girl your age shouldn't be
such an old maid.

Well, is organizing your day
being an old maid,
for heaven's sakes?

You have to when
you're doing housekeeping,
all the books tell you.

Maybe that's
your trouble, Janie.

You learned to be a wife
out of a book.

Therefore, you've become
an automaton.

Too much schedule
for a girl your age.

Especially now
that Andy's here.

Of course, when he was away,
it was all right.

But now, it's your duty to
make yourself attractive to
your husband.

-Attractive?
-Yes. Attractive.

All this may seem very funny
to you, but I don't imagine
it is to Janie.

I don't imagine
it's ever very funny
to a woman

to suggest that she isn't
attractive to a man.

Don't worry about it, Janie.
See you at noon.

Didn't think he had it in him.

-Now look here, Janie,
I didn't say...
-You've said enough.

It's all very funny, isn't it?

It's just terribly,
terribly funny.

Well, anything I say now
will probably make it worse.

See you at noon.

Oh, what's the matter with...

What's all this?

It's raining.

What, do you hang
these things up
every time it rains?

What is it?
An old local custom?

I wouldn't admit being
so ignorant about being
a father if I were you.

Why the ice, Janie?
Just because I'm late
for breakfast?

Oh, no, no.
It's nothing, nothing at all.

Your old lady got out of
the wrong side of bed this
morning, didn't she, Bill?

Well, at least she got out.

Hey, Janie.

Is it so major
just because one meal
is a little upset.

Well, let's skip it then,
and go out for breakfast, huh?

Oh, I couldn't go out
to breakfast.

Why, is there any law
that says you can't?

Well, at 8:30, I have
to start washing...

I know, at 8:30,
you wash the dishes.

Well, what if you didn't wash
the dishes till 9:30?

-9:30, I have to...
-What if you didn't wash them
at all?

Would the world stop
or something?

Well, no, Andy, I guess
the world wouldn't stop,
but...

Well, there's no use
explaining, you just wouldn't
understand, that's all.

I understand one thing,
and that is that you're in
a pretty horrible rut.

One of the dullest,
deadliest ruts
I've ever heard about.

You're young, Janie,
for Pete's sake.
And I'm young.

And when people are young,
they have to have
a little freedom

and a few laughs.

They can't just be tied down
by the necks

like squirrels on a treadmill,

and go on doing the same thing
day after day after...

The trouble with you, Andy,
is that you're still
flying airplanes,

you're still in the sky,
you haven't come down
to Earth yet.

I don't want to.

-You don't want to?
-No, I don't want to.

Janie, it's more fun
in the sky.

Well, of course, if you don't
wanna even try.

Well, what about you trying?

Well, for heaven's sakes,
what would I pin diapers on
in the sky? A cloud?

Well...

You probably would
pin 'em on a cloud at that.

I, uh, guess I'm a pretty
dreadful disappointment
to you, aren't I, Andy?

I guess I'm not
what you expected at all.

No, you're not.

Well, you're not either,
so I guess it goes both ways.

It's a good thing
you came back, because...

So we could get
a good look at each other.

This could have gone on
for years and years

and I never would've known
how much you've changed.

That would've been
pretty tragic.

I haven't changed.

Oh, I know exactly how
you feel because I feel
exactly the same way.

You see, you're not attractive
to me anymore either, Andy.

And it's nobody's fault.

It's just that, well, we have
absolutely no basis for
being married, that's all.

And I want you to know
that I don't feel
badly about it and...

And I'm sure you'd be
much more comfortable
at a hotel or someplace.

Okay, Janie,
that would suit me fine.

I was sure you felt
that way about it and...

Anytime you want to
see Bill is perfectly
all right with me.

I, uh...
I thought I'd come back.
I forgot something.

Well, I'm awfully glad you did
because Andy's just
leaving me.

So you're just in time
to say goodbye to him.

-Leaving where?
-He's leaving here. Us. Me.

-Why?
-I don't like your
daughter, Mr. Smith.

-You don't?
-No.

Of course he doesn't.
You were the first to
point that out, remember?

-Me?
-And you made it
very clear to me

that your daughter can do
without me very nicely. So...

Oh, and she can, too,
believe me.

Now look here,
you leave me out of this.

And you, quit calling her
my daughter and
putting her in my lap.

-She's not my daughter,
she's your wife.
-Oh, no, Mr. Smith.

I left my wife
in San Francisco
a year and a half ago.

This girl isn't my wife.

She's your daughter and Bill's
mother and Henry's landlady,

but she's not my wife.

Well, that's a great relief,
because here I've been
thinking...

She certainly is your wife.
You married her, didn't you?

Did I know she was gonna
change into a schedule?

The girl I married had stars
in her eyes, Mr. Smith.
This girl has soap suds.

And he wants to play around
in the sky like he was a...

I don't know.
He doesn't know the first
thing about really living.

Well, if "really living" means

that you have to be
a garbage-toting,
colic-worrying...

Shut up, both of you!

Now, there's nothing really
wrong with either one of you.

Outside of the fact
that you're both young.

And being young seems to be
the cussedest, stubbornest,

blindest, orneriest thing
that a person can be.

Now, if you two would just
take time to sit down
and look at each other...

-Heaven forbid!
-I said shut up!

It's just that Janie has been
married a year and a half,

and she's too much married.

Yeah, she's wrapped up
in marriage

like it was an old bathrobe
that she can't throw away.

-Oh, I can throw it away.
In fact, I...
-Shut up, will you?

And Andy, he hasn't
been married at all.

I mean, he hasn't
been working at it.

So, he's not married enough.

Oh, I'm married enough.
Quite enough.

Well, there's one good thing.
Marriage isn't as bad
as some things.

At least you can
get out of it.

Well, I'm glad to hear
one good thing about it!

Now, don't you go
talking that way!

Marriage is...
Well, marriage is marriage.

And when you've got it,
you've got to take care of it.

You can't just decide
you don't want it.

-Why can't we?
-Who says we can't?

Because you haven't
any grounds for divorce
to start with.

You can't just have a divorce
because you're asking for it.

You've got to have a reason.

-Yeah, what kind of reason?
-Yes. Give us one.
Just one, just one!

Well, if you were
the type of people that
knocked each other about...

You mean, like this.

Janie!

Janie!

Janie Smith Anderson!
You ought to be
whaled for this!

Excellent suggestion,
my dear father-in-law.

An excellent suggestion!

And he did, Your Honor,
and here we are.

Why, Judge,
they haven't even tried.

That's what I've been
trying to tell you.

But if I just deny
them a divorce,
that wouldn't do any good.

They wouldn't live together.

I had an idea, Judge,
I wish you'd make 'em try out.

That is?

I got a clue from Andy there.

He said he left
his wife in San Francisco
the day he sailed away.

Now, I contend he ought to
go back to San Francisco
and try and find her again.

I figure there must've been
something that made
these two kids get married.

But what's happened to it?
Where is it?

I'd put it to them
this way, Judge.

I'd make 'em go back
to San Francisco and live
those four days over again.

But that's crazy!

I don't think it's at all crazy.

I think it's an excellent idea,

and I intend to abide by it.

Look here, Your Honor,
this is the worst thing
I ever heard about.

Go on a honeymoon with her,

and we don't even
like each other anymore?

Why, it's not even decent.

I'm not going to say
how I feel about it,

because, of course,
I don't intend to do it.

Do you want a divorce?

-Of course I do!
-Most certainly.

Then you'll do it my way.

You boys and girls think it's
very romantic and exciting

to get married just
because it's wartime.

You don't stop
to think for a minute

that there's going to be
an after-the-war time,

and a whole long life
to be lived together.

You go ahead and bring
children into the world

without the slightest thought
that those children have
parents coming to them.

Two parents.

-But, Your Honor...
-And in order to have
a re-hearing of your case,

you will first do as this
young lady's father has been
intelligent enough to suggest.

Intelligent. He's a traitor,
that's what he is.

I didn't think
a father of mine
would betray his own...

Order. Order, please.

Sergeant and Mrs. Anderson,

you are to go to San Francisco

and, step by step,
retrace your courtship
and your marriage there.

Step by step.
Do you understand?

Wherever you went,
whatever you did,
whatever you said.

And maybe along
the way somewhere,

you'll find again
what you've lost.

But, Judge, don't you
see how insane it is?

How can people go on
a honeymoon when they
have a baby with 'em?

Certainly. Think of him.

It would be something he could
never live down probably.

If it got around that his
parents had him with 'em
on their honeymoon.

How does that sound?

I hereby commend
your son to the care of
the juvenile court for...

You will not!

For the period you
will be gone, Mrs. Anderson.

We have expert nurses.
He'll be well taken care of.
Don't you worry.

And your father will be here
to oversee everything.

That will be a help.

At the end of this period,
you will come back to me

and attest to
and swear to the fact

that you have carried out
the orders of this court.

I want to warn you

that any deviation from
this order will constitute
a contempt to this court.

And any attempt to falsify
this report brought to me

will result in
a charge of perjury.

Sergeant and Mrs. Andrew Anderson,

Sonora, California.
Double or twin?

Uh, we want two rooms.

They should be next to each
other but not connecting.

-They weren't connecting,
were they?
-Certainly not.

But aren't you married?

-Sure we're married.
-As a matter of fact,
we're on our honeymoon.

Oh, I see.

Fine.

Bellboy.

-Good evening.
-Good evening.

204 and 206. Here.

Right this way, please.

Oh, well,
we're not going up yet.

Oh, no. No, we're not
even acquainted yet.

I mean, at this point,
you see, I'd never even
seen her before in my life.

It's only, uh, 6:00.
We didn't even meet
until 7:00.

Oh, I see.

Uh, no, you don't.
But I really couldn't
expect you to.

Of course not.

Well, she's nutty
as a fruitcake.

You think I'd better
not take 'em in?

Well...

Seems like a darn nice girl
and it seems, uh,

a shame to toss her out when
rooms are so hard to get.

And, and the fellow
seems harmless enough.

Well, maybe he is
and maybe he isn't.

Why do you suppose she don't
want their rooms connecting
if he's so harmless?

Ah...

You can't tell what a fellow
like that is liable to...

You know, I feel...
I feel sorry for that girl.

You know, I'm going to
kinda keep my eyes
on things tonight.

Thanks, Ben.

Well, this is it.

How do you suppose I ever
thought this was beautiful?
It's hideous.

Beautiful? You did?

I think I did, yes.
Good heavens.

Well.

Well, let's see.
I was sitting at the counter
by myself and, uh...

Well...

If this doesn't make me
feel the silliest, I...

Well, go ahead. Go ahead.

-I came in, didn't I,
when I saw you sitting?
-Yes.

You came in and you sat
on the stool next to me.

And I dropped
my bag accidentally.

That's your story.

And you picked it up
and you said...

Do you remember what you said?

Well, do we even have
to remember the words?

You heard the man, didn't you?
You want a divorce, don't you?

-I do.
-Uh...

Well, you said that
you thought it was nice that
I didn't think you were fresh.

I did?

-You were there, weren't you?
-Yeah.

-You sure I said that?
-Well...

It was something like that.
That's near enough anyway.

If this doesn't make me
feel like a complete idiot...

Hello.

-Hello.
-What'll it be?

Oh, a cup of coffee, I guess.

Cream?

It doesn't matter.
I'm only going to use it
as a prop anyway.

What'll it be, soldier?

Oh, uh, coffee, I guess.

-Cream?
-I don't care.
I'm not going to drink it.

Oh, I didn't come in here
for coffee, you see.

I just came in to pick her up.

Well, let's get it over with.

Accidentally.

I like it the way
you don't think I'm fresh.

Now look, bud, I'm patriotic
as the next one, see.

But we don't go along
with pickups in here.

If you want to howl,
go outside and find somebody.

I have to pick her up.

Oh, no, you don't have
to do no such thing.

-Yes, he does. It's the law.
-The what?

I mean, if he wants a divorce,
he's got to.

Oh...

One of them professional
correspondents, eh?

Well, don't you go
starting such a business
in here, girly...

Will you please
keep out of this?

You don't think
we're enjoying it, do you?

I can certainly think of
nicer ways to earn a living.

Why don't you
get an honest job?

-There's lots of openings...
-I don't want a job.

It's women like you that are
tearing down the war effort.

-Let me point out...
-Look, Joe!

Look, I couldn't anyway,
you see,
because I've got a baby.

-You see?
-Sure.

So, you've got a baby?

Well, well, well.

And who's looking out
for that baby

while you're hanging around
places pickin' up soldiers
so they can get divorces?

He's the ward of
the juvenile court this week.

Now look, bud.

I'd imagine after running into
a wrong dame like this one,

you'd realize you've got
a pretty nice wife at home

and you wouldn't
want to get a divorce.

She's my wife.

-Who?
-Me. That's who.

You're his wife?

Is it so unusual for people
to have wives?

Well then, what're you doing
coming in here

like you never saw her before,
trying to pick her up?

We told you, it's the law.

For heaven's sakes,
if he's going to be
so stupid, let's go.

Well, where do we
go from here?

Do you remember?

Uh, up on that hill
and back to the bridge.

Why?

Well, do I have to
even remember that?

I don't suppose you'd remember
that you bought me a corsage.

Corsage?

I did not. It was a gardenia.

And I don't suppose
I told you at the time

that the smell of gardenias
make me very, very ill.

Why do you suppose
we picked a windy,
miserable place like this?

-You said you liked wind.
-I did?

I hate wind.

Well, then...
Then you were a liar besides.

It's possible you did a little
exaggerating yourself.

-Yeah? About what?
-About us,
if you'd like to know.

Yeah? What did I say?

Well, it would sound
too utterly silly.

Okay, skip it.

You said you wanted
something to fight for.

Well, what's so
"utterly silly" about that?

Oh, for heaven's sakes,
it sounded silly
to me at the time.

Oh, it did?
Well, I don't remember
you mentioning it.

Well, I was probably
so glassy-eyed,

I didn't actually hear
what you were saying.

Glassy-eyed? About what?

Oh, let's go.

For heaven's sakes!
There isn't any law
that says that

people have to
freeze to death to get
a divorce, is there?

Well, is that all
we did up here?

No, there was

one other little item.

You, uh, proposed to me.

Oh yeah. Yeah.

So I did.

I don't remember
my reaction exactly.

I must've said yes.
We're married.

Your reaction
I remember perfectly.

You were appalled by the fact
that there was a law that said
we had to wait three days.

What an insulting
thing to say!

Nevertheless...

Well I was probably so cold
my brain was numb.

Well, you apparently never got
thawed out, that's all I know.

I don't think you could
thaw anybody out anyway.

You haven't a very
good memory, have you?

I just wish I had it all
to do over again.

That's all I wish.

Well, you have.

Well, I'm going.
I don't know about you.

I have to go with you whether
I like it or not, don't I?

Well, it's only for four days.
If I can put up with it,
you can.

Well, are you coming?

-Oh, I, uh, I just remembered
something else.
-What?

I kissed you.

Well, for heaven's sakes!

There's no use
overdoing it, is there?

I mean, couldn't we just
tell them that, that we...

And get put in jail
for perjury?

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Well, okay.

It's just for the record.

Yeah, sure.

Like you say, it's safer to be
on the safe side.

204 and 206, please.

Oh...

-Good evening.
-Good evening.

Well, I see you
got acquainted.

Oh, yes.
That's what we went out for.

Yes. Well, I'm glad you
got together.

Oh, it wasn't difficult.
We knew right where we'd be.

Yes, well,

-good night.
-Good night.

Well, I

guess we were
pretty lucky to get

two rooms in a hotel
in times like these.

Yeah, I call that darn lucky.

Yes, indeed.

Do, uh... Do you remember
why we wanted two rooms
next to each other?

Why...

No, do you?

Sure.

Sure, it was so we could
talk to each other
through the walls.

Now do you remember?

Oh, yes. Yes, we had a code.

We knocked on the walls.

That was certainly childish,
wasn't it?

Yes, imagine, having a code.

I, uh...

I don't suppose you, uh,

you remember it?

No, of course not.

Why, do you?

Me? Nah.

Well, uh...

Well, I...

-Good night.
-Oh, good night.

You know, that's your room
and this is hers.

Yes, we know.

You know, there's no baths
in these rooms.

-Baths are down at the end
of the hall there.
-Yes, we know.

-Well, good night.
-Good night.

Well, I...

I guess you won't
sleep on the floor tonight.

Well, I'll try the bed
and if it throws me,
it throws me.

I, uh...

I guess it would
seem kind of funny

going to bed without
having the baby right there.

Oh. Yes, I never have.

Well, this...
This won't take very long.

No, only four days.

Oh, I hope he's all right.

Well, good night.

Good night, Janie.

-Oh, Janie.
-Yes.

Here's your key.

Oh, thank you. Good night.

Good night.

She got a baby, eh?

We've got a baby.

I see.

And you're on your honeymoon?

Well, technically, of course,
we're not even married yet.

I mean, we get our license
in the morning.

Oh, I see.

Like fun you do.

Yeah, you're a nice girl.

Why, thank you.

Yeah, don't you worry,

we're right behind you
every minute.

Thank you.

I'll be... I'll be right here.

Right outside your door
all night,

and if there's anything
you want, you just call us.

Well, that's very nice, but...

Oh, why all the service?
Aren't there any other
guests in the hotel?

Oh, yes, there's...

There's one in every room.

And in some rooms,
there's two.

But you won't need them.

I'm on duty here
all night long.

Thank you.

Yes?

What seems to be
the trouble, son?

Trouble, about what?

Well, can I do something
for you or something?

Why?

Well, you're making
a lot of noise.

Oh.

-Oh, oh, that.
-Mmm.

Well, uh, that's...
That's just a way

I figured how to say,
"I love you."

Well, that's mighty nice
of you, son.

Yes, that's mighty nice
and I appreciate it.

And now that we understand
one another,

how about you go into bed
like a good fellow, and don't
be afraid of that bed.

It won't throw you.

Just hang on tight
and you'll be all right.

Well, uh, thanks.
Thanks a lot.

-Well, good night.
-Good night.

-Good night.
-Good night.

Poor kid.

Who?

Oh, he's all right now.

I handled him fine.

When he told me he loved me,

I never even batted an eye.

Silly thing.

-Now, look here.
-Now, you look here.

Why don't you go away
and let me alone?

Why don't you go to bed
nice and quiet
like I told you?

I have been quiet.

You've been raising
a rumpus around here.

I heard you. I ain't deaf.

You've been hammering
on the walls like
a raving maniac.

Why...
I didn't mean that, son.

I have not been hammering
on the walls.

Is this the only wall
in this hotel?

Am I the only person
staying here?

Now, maybe he was
knocking on his wall.

Or maybe she was knocking
on her wall.

Hey.

Maybe...

Maybe she was.

Wait, now don't go throwing...

Don't go throwing
the blame on her.

You know, she's not to blame.
She's a nice girl.

She wouldn't go around
hammering on hotel walls.

Well, sometimes, nice girls
will surprise you.

No, you don't.

Not with Benjamin L. Pidgeon
on the job.

-Janie?
-What?

Did, uh...

Did you knock on
the wall last night?

I... I just thought I heard
something that sounded like...

What wall?

How can I answer a question
that says, "Have you been
married before?"

Well, have you?

Did you?

Did I what?

Knock on the wall.

What wall?

I can't answer these,
they're just too
silly that's all.

Raise your right hand.

-Could I help you?
-No. No, thank you.

We've filled them all out
before anyway.

-Oh, you were married before?
-Yes.

Both of you?

-Well, naturally.
-We are now, to each other.

So you see,
we didn't come here
to be married at all.

Why should we?

Then why are you here?

We're trying to get a divorce.

If people would just stop
mixing us up,

maybe we could get somewhere.

Well, you have
the wrong department.

The divorce court
is down the hall.

This is the marriage license
bureau.

We know that perfectly well.

What do you think we are,
blind or something?

Well, let's go.

We've been here,
at least we can swear to that.

Sure, that ought to be
all that's necessary.

Sometimes, I don't know
where I'm going to get
the strength

to go through
three more days of this.

Four.

We can't get married
for three days,

and, uh, then there's
the day after that.

Oh, you don't have to wait
three days.
They've changed that law.

You can get married
right away.

And get arrested for perjury?

No, thank you.

Would you mind not sounding
like a hay rabbit.

Hmm?

Put out your light
and go to sleep,
will you, Henry?

All right.

Put out my light

but you can't expect me
to go to sleep.

Why can't I?

-Mmm, I keep thinking.
-Yeah, I know.

Two days they've been
gone now.

Yeah, two days more.

I don't think there's anything
selfish about my thinking,
you understand,

but gee, I just feel so sorry
for Janie.

Sorry for her?

Well, yes. I know what she's
going through.

I think it's terrible that
she has to be
humiliated like this.

It's tough.

That's just wishful thinking,
my boy.

Just plain wishful thinking.

Well, she cried when she left.
She didn't want to go,
did she?

That was two days ago.

You think she might change
in two days?

I have a great deal of faith
in the American army, Henry.

A great deal of faith.

Well, you can still dance.

So can you.

-I haven't danced since.
-Since when?

Since the night
we were married.

Doesn't Henry dance?

I don't know.

Doesn't he ever take you out
any place?

Well, why should he?

-Oh, he takes out the garbage,
and I just thought maybe...
-What did you say?

Oh, Janie, I didn't mean that
the way it sounded,

I... I just meant that he...

Well, he sits with the baby
when your father
takes you out,

and I just thought maybe
he sat with you when the baby
took your father out.

I... I didn't mean that.

Look at that pretty thing.

And convoyed by just a plain
little old staff sergeant.

I suppose you'll marry Henry
after you get a divorce
from me.

Why do you suppose that?

Well, you're used to him
and everything.

Yes, I am used to him.

I suppose he's...
He's been a better husband
than I've been?

Well, he's been around
and you haven't,
if that's what you mean.

Well, is that my fault?

Well, is it mine?

I didn't start this war,
did I?

Well, did I?

You know, I...

I don't guess anybody
our age would start a war.

Well, I...

I guess it's a certain
type of person

who hasn't anybody that
always starts war.

What they don't count on is
how hard people who do have
somebody will fight back.

Janie,

you know, I've thought
a hundred times, I guess...

Uh, Sergeant,

don't you know
that hording is unpatriotic.

Hey!

-You're not married
or anything, are you?
-Well...

Well... Well, I don't know
what you mean by
"or anything."

I will rephrase the question.

-You're not married, are you?
-She is.

She is not.
You forget, Sergeant,

I only met you
night before last.

No, kiddin'. Well, that's not
much of a head start.

He, uh...
He has proposed to me.

And been accepted.

You do work fast, don't you?

Not that I blame you.

Thank you.

Well, I don't want to spoil
anything, but she hasn't
mentioned that she has a baby.

You're not old enough.

See.

-Nevertheless...
-Well, I love babies.

Well, I'm certainly
glad to hear that some men do.

Did I ever say that
I didn't love babies?

I really don't remember
discussing the fact with you.

Well, I love babies.

Does she look like you?

It's a he and he looks
just like me.

-Why?
-Because he's my kid,
that's why.

And you only met her
night before last?

Brother, you do work fast.

Look, do you want a poke
in the nose or
will you go quietly?

-Would you mind
repeating that remark.
-I'd be glad to.

What do you want him
to repeat it for?
It sounds so ridiculous

-in the first place.
-If you are a soldier.

-Of course he's a soldier.
-Where's your collar insignia.

He lost them.
He told me all about.

They were gone when
he got out of the hospital.

That's what he told you.
Now look, pretty thing,

let's you and me just pretend
that the boy scout
never happened.

-Oh.
-You put your arm
around her once more

-and you won't use it again,
I'm telling you.
-Is that so, brother?

-No! No!
-Wait...

What's going on here,
Sergeant?

-Well, it seems...
-I was dancing around with...

-Now! Now, just a minute!
-Me and my girlfriend...

This sergeant here has been
very fresh, Mr. MP.

And I'd like to know why
a girl can't spend the evening

with her husband
without being annoyed.

With your husband?
You told me you just met him
night before last.

-I don't...
-You, uh... You better get
back over the fence.

-Don't you think, Sergeant?
-Thank you.

Come on, darling.

Women.

You, uh, might as well
learn it young.

Yeah.

Thanks.

For what, for heaven's sakes?

For admitting in public
that I'm your husband.

Must have been quite a strain.

Well, I'm strong.
I can stand it.

-Andy?
-What?

What did you mean
when you said you

thought about
a hundred times that...

Did I say that?

Maybe you didn't,
maybe I only thought you did.

Thanks.

"Andrew Anderson,

"Sonora, California.

"Balance of your furlough
is revoked,
effective immediately.

"You are directed
to proceed without delay
to this hospital.

"Reporting upon arrival to
commanding officer
Jones Comandy.

"Letterman General Hospital,
San Franciso."

I don't know what to do.

Well, there's only
one thing to do.

Let's get in touch with
Anderson right away.

Yes, but they're just
getting married today, Henry.

You think the army
cares about a little
detail like that?

When they say report
immediately, they mean
report immediately.

Yes,
but to take him away now...

If there's ever any chance
of them getting together
again...

What good would it do him
to get together

if he's going to spend
the rest of his life in
the guard house.

I guess you're right.

Certainly I'm right.

Hello, give me San Francisco,
Polly.

Yeah, the Hotel Miller,
right away.

"Balance of
your furlough is revoked..."

Hello?

Hotel Miller?

Is Sergeant Andrew Anderson
registered there?

Why?

Why?

Because if he is, I want to
speak to him, that's why.

Do I know him?

He's my son-in-law.

Say, what is this?

Yes,
I'm Mrs. Anderson's father.

Oh, I'm so glad to
hear from you.

I really felt that I couldn't
take the responsibility

on myself much longer.

I felt that I should do
something about it

but I feel so sorry
for the boy.

And I want you to know
that your daughter
has been wonderful.

But...

Yes, I'm listening.

Well, he was injured.
I've got a telegram
right here that...

Yes, maybe so.

Well, thank you very much.

Certainly, I will.

-What's the matter?
-Well, Andy is apparently
gone kind of insane.

-If I'm to believe
that bumbling idiot.
-Insane?

Maybe something about this.
That does happen, you know.

You can't blame the boy,
he's ill.

We better get right to
San Francisco, Henry.

Well...

This is the day, isn't it?

Yeah.

We went from here
right to the ministers,
didn't we?

Yeah.

Well, so, you're in again.

Ah, just keep away
from us, will you?

Look, we just came in
to get our marriage license
and that's all.

So, leave us alone,
will you, please?

What marriage license?

You didn't even fill one out.

Oh, we know that.

-Well, what do you want?
-Nothing.

Oh, come on,
let's go get married,
for heaven's sakes.

Well, we certainly
are different.

I mean, with most people,
getting married is
the beginning.

That's right.

With us, it's the end.

That's right.

Well, we certainly are
different, I guess.

Well, aren't you ever
going to ring the bell?

Sure, I'm gonna ring the bell.

-How do you do?
-How do you do, sir?

Come in. Mother!

Now uh... Oh, come in.
Please do.

Look, you don't have
to call anyone.

But we have to have a witness.
You have your license?

-Uh, not with us, no. I...
-Oh, I'm so sorry.

You see, I can't
marry you without it.

Well, we don't
want you to marry us.

-You don't?
-You already did, once.

-I did?
-Yes, you see, we...

Well, we just
had to come here.

Oh, I see.
Well, now, I think that's
very nice of you.

Won't you sit down
and have a cup of tea?

Mother! Mother!
Come here a moment.

Come in, please.

You know, this has
never happened to me before.

Boys and girls come here
and get married,

and then just take
their happiness and disappear.

I've so often wished
that I might know how they
came out, so to speak.

Mother, these young people
have come to see us.

They were married here and
they've come back to see us.

Well...

Why, I remember them.

This is Jane. And um...

Andy.

-Am I right?
-Yes, right.

You know how
I remembered them?

-No.
-My husband was terrified
to marry you...

Oh, but, but...

Because you'd only
known each other a few days.

Wasn't that right?

-Three.
-Yes.

And I told him he needn't be

because I knew you were
the kind of people

you could absolutely
build the future on.

-That's right.
-I'm so glad I was right.

They're going to have
a cup of tea with us, Mother.

Oh, I'll get two more cups.

Sit down, do.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, that's all right.

Now tell me,
how long ago was it?

Ah, a year and a half.

A year and a half?
My gracious.

Any family?

Ah... Yes. Yes, we have a son.

Oh! Mother! Mother!

-Yes?
-What do you think?

-What?
-They have a son!

Why, of course they have
a son.

I could have told
you that, too.

-Will you have
sugar and cream?
-No, thank you.

-You?
-No, thank you, sir.

There you are.

And yours.

Oh, wait a minute,
I'll fix it for you.

There. How's that?

Fine, thanks.

You see, since the war,

we've seen so many marriages
entered into without any
thought of the future at all.

It got so we were quite
frightened to marry anyone.

Youngsters seem to think that
marriage is just all for
tonight and moonlight.

They don't seem
to realize that there's a
tomorrow morning, too.

They don't wait to find out,
like you did,

that it's after the honeymoon
that's the best
about marriage.

The children.
And the living together and
the understanding together.

And the knowing that there's
someone beside you always.

Ready to take your part
against the world.

Never to be lonely.

-Uh...
-Oh, must you go?

-Oh, do you have to?
-Yes, sir. Yes, we do.

Sorry. I can't tell you
how happy your coming
to see us has made us.

-Yes.
-Thank you very much.

-Yes, indeed.
-Thank you very much.

-Do come to
see us again sometime.
-Yes, do.

Yes.

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.

Who said that dreams
don't come true?

Who said that
skies aren't blue?

Who said the wishes we make
are always in vain?

Who said that
love isn't all?

Who said that
stars never fall?

Who said that
roses don't bloom

Down Lovers' Lane?

Whoever said all those things must
have been lonely

I pity the fool,
what a shame

He probably must
have been lonely

'Cause he never had
a dream to his name

Who said that dreams
don't come true?

I'll cling to
my point of view

I know for certain they do

Whenever I look at you

How old do kids have to get
before they start to walk?

Why, uh, different ages.

Why, uh, I suppose Bill might
start anytime now, huh?

Oh, he can... He can
stand by himself already.

Why?

Well, I was just thinking
it's one of the things
kids do that...

One that's important.

You know,
the first time they walk.

Well, I wasn't there when
he cut his first tooth, was I?

Or when he started to talk?

Well, I was just
thinking that,

now I won't be there
when he starts to walk.

That's all.
I was just thinking.

Oh, sure.

I mean, now we're married,
we can get divorced.

Sure.

Well,
this is practically over.

Yeah.

That's swell, isn't it?

Yes, it's swell.

Well, we'll certainly
fool that judge, wont we?

I mean, he probably
thought that...

Well, you know,
he's kind of old,
like your father.

And they believe all that
old-fashioned stuff.

You know, like...
Well, like all those things
he said to us.

Sure.

I bet he'd be the most
surprised person in the world

when we walk in there,
laugh right in his face
and say,

"Well, we did it.
Now, give us a divorce."

I bet he will.

Yeah.

Well, we might as well order.

Well, we... We have.

-Have what?
-Ordered.

-We have?
-Yes.

For heaven's sake!

Don't know what in the world
I was thinking about?

Remember last time?

Boy, were you sick.

Remember...

...how disgusted
the doctor was?

Yeah, he said,
"What kind of people
would eat fried shrimp

"on their wedding night?"

Yes.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Well, sure there is.

No, there isn't. Really.

I feel terrible.

You're kidding.

I think I better go.

206.

What's the matter?

Hey, hey. What have you done
to that poor little girl?

I didn't do anything to her.

Don't be so modest, darling.
You know you poisoned me.

Oh, sure, I forgot.
This is Friday.

My husband poisons me
every Friday.

Mind your...
Own business.

I'll call a doctor right away.

She had a doctor
last time this happened and
he just made her sicker.

Well, how do you feel now?

Oh, much better, thank you.
Now since those
hiccups are over.

Well, I think I better
go along,

let you get a little rest
or something.

Oh, no.

I mean, well, you didn't.

No, I... I didn't.

That was because we didn't
have much time left together.

I was shipping out
in the morning.

Well, we haven't
this time either.

We're getting divorced
in the morning.

Yeah.

Doesn't it seem to you that
this has gone awfully fast?

Yes, uh,

maybe we skipped
a day someplace.

No.

No, we did everything.

Janie...

Yes?

Oh, dear.

Do you want a glass of water?

No, thank you. No, I...

I just put a pillow
in front of my face,

shut the air out for a minute.
It seems to help.

You see, what you don't
realize is that

I can make beds
better than you can.

And I can do a washing
in a helmet. Try that.

In a helmet?

You mean a hat?

I mean a hat.

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

Yeah, we learned how to
keep house and spend some
time in the sky, too.

It can be done, see.

Oh, I don't...
I don't ever wanna
keep house again.

I... I just want to
live in the sky.

Oh, Janie, people have to
keep house.

But... But if they could
keep their feet in the house
and their hearts in the sky,

well, that'd be kind of a
terrific combination,
don't you think?

Yes.

I guess I just
didn't know how.

Well...

Neither did I.

Well, there isn't any law
that says that people can't
learn things, is there?

I mean, uh...
People can grow up, too,
can't they?

Anyway, we're surely
contempting the court.

-Why?
-Well, last time...

By this time, we were
certainly busy planning
our future, weren't we?

-Janie...
-Weren't we?

Oh, Janie.

Well, somebody had to be
the first to say it,

and if you wanna be
deaf and dumb all your life...

Janie, I wanted to
say it ever since I...

Well, I mean,
the fried shrimp and
everything. And I...

Well, for heaven's sakes,
I always eat fried shrimp on
my wedding night, don't I?

Oh, Janie.

Oh, wouldn't I...

I guess hiccups aren't
very romantic, are they?

Yes.

-Sorry, no rooms.
-I don't want a room

I'm Mr. Smith,
Mrs. Anderson's father.

-Oh, thank goodness!
-Well, he's poisoned her.

-He's what?
-Poisoned her?

Sure! That's what I said,
he's poisoned her!

-I don't believe it!
-She wouldn't have us
send for a doctor.

You see, apparently,
it's happened before.

-Where is she?
-In her room.
But he's with her.

And he's locked
the door!

-You wait here, Henry.
-What do you mean, wait here?

What do you think I'm made of?

I don't care what
you're made of.

You wait here.
This thing has got to be
handled carefully.

You two wait out here.
Let me handle this.

Anyway, I don't believe it.

Andy!

Hello, Andy.

Well, what are you doing here?

Look Andy, I've got
something for you.

Did you have to come
right this minute?

We were just getting
everything all settled.

Now, take it easy, son.
Take it easy.

Everything's going to
be all right, see?

It's for you, boy.

Now, read what it says.

What are you acting like
such an idiot for?

Now, Janie, there's no use
carrying loyalties to a point
of where you're a darn fool!

-Hi, bud.
-Well, what's Henry
doing here?

Oh, I just brought them.
I didn't think you ought to be
left up here...

Hey, what is all this?

You see, nice little
soldiers don't go around
making trouble for hotels

and poisoning
nice little girls.

-Oh, that was a joke!
-What a fine joke!

-Of course it was!
He was only trying...
-No, no, no, Janie.

When I opened the door
a little while ago,

he had a pillow over
my daughter's face,
trying to smother her.

-She had hiccups.
-Sure. And when people
have the hiccups,

there's nothing left to do
but shoot them, is there?

-Come on, boy. Let's go.
-No, wait a minute,
wait a minute, guys.

I've got to go to
the hospital.
It says so right here.

Well, now, isn't that
a coincidence.

It's right where
we're taking you. Come on.

Oh, wait!
I have to get my hat.

Oh!

I'm sure sorry a thing like
this had to happen, honey.

-Certainly a good thing
we got here.
-How are you feeling, Janie?

I'm sick.

Well, you'll be pleased
to know that Sergeant Anderson

has passed his physical
with flying colors and has
been ordered out again.

Oh.

Oh, that's fine.

Of course, you're pleased.

He isn't here now,
that's definite?

Well, according to his orders,

he has only a few more
hours left on his pass
before he leaves.

-Oh, I see.
-You don't know where he is?

No, I don't.

I see.

I don't understand why Andy
would disappear like this.

You don't?

How would you like
to be married to a person
whose relatives

have you arrested
on your wedding night for
being a maniac.

Well, you'll receive a card
when your husband
has reached a destination

saying he arrived safely.

Thank you.

Now, I'm married to a card
that's arrived safely.

Dad, do you mind
if I go in alone?

You sure you won't need me?

Well, it'll be nice to know
you're right here if I do.

Got any children?

Eight.

Worry about 'em?

Why should I?

They're young.

Well, from what I've seen
of them, that's what's good
about 'em.

Meaning what?

Young 'uns have got
courage and they got
clear heads.

They ain't live long enough
to know there are
things to be scared of,

things that can cross 'em up
and get 'em muddled.

Too bad they have to get
to our age

and lose
all those good things.

Thanks.

So, I don't want a divorce.

-Then it worked?
-Yes, it worked fine.

I may never see
my husband again.

But... Well, he's my husband.

And that's all there is to it.

You see, what you people
don't seem to realize

is that it's the after
the honeymoon that's
the best about marriage.

It's the living everything
together

with your feet in
the housekeeping and
your hearts in the sky.

And... And it can be done.

It can even be done in a hat.

So, I don't want a divorce.

Ever.

Now, I want my baby.

He's at home waiting for you,
Mrs. Anderson.

He's been there right along,

where he belongs.

Oh, thank you. Goodbye.

Thank you.

Come on.
Bill, here, here.

Come on, walk over here
to your old man. Come on.

Come on, just a couple
of steps.

Oh, come on, Bill. Come on.
Hey, hey, come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, it's a cinch.
Hey, you're walking
the wrong way.

Come on over here.

Bill. Hey, Bill, here.
Come on.

Come on, come on.
Attaboy, come on. Here.

Come on, take a little stroll
over here...

Oh, Bill.

Mama.

Yeah.

I... I went right back to
the hotel, as soon as I could.

I was at the hospital.

Oh.

Janie... Bill, he can walk.

See if he'll come to me.

Mama!

Can I come, too, Janie?

Oh, for heaven's sakes, do you need
an engraved invitation?