All language subtitles for McMillan and Wife S01E02 The Easy Sunday Murder Case

Hold
it. Police.

Quick, into the car.

There's no way to
turn around, sir.

Reverse. Hurry up.

Yes, sir. Use
my gun, sir.

904, 904, Code 2,
Code 2. Marina Drive.

All right, out of the
car. Come on, let's go.

Beautiful shot,
sir. Right in the tire.

I was aiming
for the windshield.

There's just one thing
I've got to know, sir.

How did you know it was
the Mulaney brothers?

Well, the important
thing is we caught 'em.

Oh, no, sir, the
important thing is

you've made my weekend.

The Chief said if we
cracked this case,

I was invited to
his houseboat.

Two days in sun.

Closed eyes, open beer,
and you're welcome, too, sir.

No, I've got something
far more exciting to do.

Saturday brunch

at my mother-in-law's.

I think it's very
sweet of my mother

to have us over
for brunch today.

It's very sweet of your mother to
have us over for brunch today.

- Why are you acting this way?
- What way?

As though you had
to go to the dentist.

Every time you have a dental appointment,
you get that look on you face.

And don't ask
me what look.

You know what look.

As if I'd rather be
going anyplace.

- Exactly.
- Else on earth. Anyplace, that is,

except my
mother-in-law's

for Saturday brunch.

You like my mother.

I adore your mother.

Everybody knows I only married
you to be next to your mother.

She's a warm, charming, delightful
woman, and I love her desperately.

But she's the
world's worst cook.

If she weren't my
mother-in-law,

I'd have her arrested for
what she does in the kitchen.

She could get 1 to 10 for
her tuna fish casserole.

You're
exaggerating.

- You've still got it.
- I have?

Mmm-hmm.

Imagine an old
married lady like me

and I still hear bells
when you kiss me.

What's even
more amazing,

I hear bells when
he kisses you.

Hello, Mother.

- Hello.
- Hi, Mom.

Hi. Come on in.

You're just in time, I just took
the muffins out of the oven.

And it's such
a lovely day.

I thought we'd eat
on the terrace.

Oh, what a nice idea.
It'll be like a picnic.

9-to-5 even the
ants don't show up.

You wanna bet?

Did you say something?

Oh, Mother, it was
nothing important.

It was just Mac making another
one of his indecent propositions.

Man's terribly
over-sexed.

How delightful.

How about we
have a toast?

May we all be in heaven 30 minutes
before the Devil knows we're dead.

Skoal.

Here's mud in your eye.

I thought it was a wonderful toast.
Enright taught it to me. It's lrish.

He taught me a curse. You
want to hear it? It's a corker.

What's a brunch
without a curse?

May you die and be
reincarnated as a chandelier.

A chandelier?

To hang by day
and burn by night.

That's lrish?

Jewish. Oh?

Enright gets around.

Thanks, Mother.

Now I know who you
leveled that curse at.

I heard that, Mac.

You haven't even given
my eggs a chance.

That makes both of us.

You'll like them. I put
in something new.

The shells?

Doesn't everyone?

Ah, my favorite,
shoelaces and eggs.

Half right. Try again.

Okay. Shoelaces
and... I give up.

Shall we?

Must we?

You certainly
raised him properly.

It wasn't easy.

Time was you couldn't
take him anywhere.

Must've been
terrible for you, dear.

How is it that all
women have a capacity

for making a full-grown,
mature male

feel as though he's only
eight-and-a-half years old?

Oh, did you see,

we got our pictures
in the Daily Post?

At the charity ball.

It looks like I have
a double chin.

Nonsense,
it's just a shadow.

Doesn't Mac look
nice in his tuxedo?

Oh, I almost forgot. The
editorial's about Mac.

What
does it say?

They were commending Mac

for his speech the other night
at the Chamber of Commerce.

Something
about, um...

Uh, no, thank you.

...cracking down on
police corruption.

What police corruption?

Leave it to the
Daily Post.

It came to my
attention that

off-duty cops never
get traffic tickets.

And I'm against that
kind of favoritism.

I don't care who it is
behind the wheel,

a moving violation is
a moving violation.

If anything, we've got to be tougher
on ourselves and each other.

Because we're supposed to be setting
an example, thank you very much.

Bravo.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Don't be. He loved it.

It had nothing to do
with police corruption.

The Post just
burns me up.

Who's that?

Excuse me.

It really is pretty
awful, isn't it?

If the chickens knew
about your mother,

they wouldn't even
bother laying the things.

I didn't know that
Betty Crocker

married Attila the
Hun. Did you?

Oh, Francesca,
that's awful, dear.

I'm just
beside myself, Emily.

Of course you are. Wait.

Uh, this is my friend,
Francesca Fairborn.

She lives
downstairs, in 9A.

It seems Francesca's
dog has been kidnapped.

Kidnapped?

Dognapped?
Is that a word?

How do you know your
dog just didn't get lost?

I mean, have you
checked with the pound?

I don't need to.

I received a
ransom note.

That's why I brought my troubles
to my friend Emily, here.

I don't keep that kind of
money in the apartment.

Francesca, this is
my daughter, Sally,

and her husband,
Stewart McMillan.

Yes, yes.

How much are
they asking?

A hundred.

Yeah, it's become
a real problem.

A lot of drug addicts
have been stealing dogs

and then selling
them back

for $100, $200.

$100,000.

$100,000?

- For a dog?
- Not just a dog.

It is the Princess
Anastasia.

Why, even the Queen of England
doesn't have a lineage like hers.

$100,000.

Can you describe her?

Oh, she...

Her breed is Pekinese.

Her coat is cinnamon.
With just a touch of fawn.

You mean brown?

It has the
luster of silk.

Oh, and the way she
walked, so dainty.

So...

A
true princess.

From your description,
Mrs. Fairborn, I'm sorry,

but all I seem to be
able to understand

is that unless you
really knew your dog,

it would look pretty much
like your everyday,

uh, cinnamon Pekinese.

Perhaps,

it would help

if I described
my husband

George.

He is 6 feet tall,

he has curly hair
and blue eyes.

You've lost me. I mean,

why would it help
us find your dog

if we knew what your
husband looked like?

Oh, they took him, too.

When did you
receive this?

I found it in my mailbox

shortly before I
went up to Emily's.

How long has Mr. Fairborn
been missing?

Well, George was
taking Anastasia

to see Dr. Carmichael, for
a checkup this morning.

But actually, the last time I saw either
of them was about 8:00 last night.

I wasn't feeling well and l...
I took a sleeping powder.

Anastasia...

Um, Mrs. Fairborn,
about your husband...

Come.

Where did I
put... Oh, yes.

Here is the Princess.
And I have others, too.

What a lovely bed
you have here.

We enjoy it.

Oh, the poor,
sensitive darling.

I know she won't sleep a
wink till I get her home again.

Mrs. Fairborn, you
don't seem to realize

that your husband's
life is in danger.

Here is a picture
of the Princess,

when she was just
three months old.

Would you by any chance,
have a photograph of...

Gesundheit.

...Iying around?

Of whom?

- Your husband.
- Oh, of course not.

Well, now, wait,
just a moment.

I think I may have one
in the living room.

Please, might
we adjourn?

I would like to adjourn.

I don't want the
Princess to return

to a germ-laden boudoir.

She is so susceptible.
Please. Do come.

Do
hurry, please.

There he is.

Holding Anastasia.

It has been a great
comfort for me

to share the Princess

at this time of anguish.

It's almost like having
her here with me.

Thank you,
Mrs. McKenzie.

Thank you, Mr. McKenzie.

The name, Mrs. Fairborn,
is not McKenzie,

it's McMillan.

- Stewart McMillan.
- How nice.

I'm the Commissioner
of Police.

Police? Oh, well,

I assume you will treat this
matter with confidence.

It is a police matter,
you understand.

You are in my home

because you are
Emily's son-in-law.

You are privy to
certain confidences

because of that
relationship,

not because you are
a Police Commissar.

- Uh, Commissioner.
- Whatever.

Not being a member of
the criminal element,

it is of no interest to me
who is on the police force.

Good day.

A kidnapping, Mrs. Fairborn,
is police business.

Now if you don't mind, I would
like to take this ransom note

down to police headquarters
for laboratory analysis.

I most certainly
do mind.

I can assure you
that the police

will do nothing to
interfere with...

The police are
already interfering.

Now...

if you will excuse me.

Where are we going?

To see Yeakel, I hate
to ruin his weekend.

Watch your fingers. Why?

This isn't my day.

Why?

Why isn't it my day or why do
I hate to ruin his weekend?

The latter.

Why are we dashing
off to see him?

Well, granted, he's
not much to look at,

but he is my
chief of police.

Yes, but why're we
going to see him now?

Because it's Saturday
and it's a perfect time

- to discuss a kidnapping.
- Uh-uh,

Mrs. Fairborn doesn't
want the police involved.

I heard her, Sally.

With these ears of
mine I heard her.

It just so happens
that these ears

are attached to the
Commissioner of Police.

I know, darling.
Very nicely, too.

But they also belong
to Emily's son-in-law

and that's who Mrs. Fairborn
was confiding in.

It's the kidnappers who don't
want the police involved.

Bank robbers and murderers
feel exactly the same way.

They think we're a
real nuisance, too.

It's just, Mac,
that morally...

No, l... l... I think I
mean ethically...

Oh, you know
what I mean.

Yeah, I know
what you mean.

- You know what I mean?
- I know what you mean.

But Mrs. Fairborn wasn't
talking to the police.

She was talking to you.

- Stewart McMillan.
- Wrong again.

She was talking to some
guy named McKenzie.

You have a very unfair way
of winning an argument.

Thank you.

Mac, you said it yourself, she was
talking to a man named McKenzie.

So, in a sense you were
wiretapping, only without the wire.

We'll argue the ethics of
plain old wiretapping later.

That is, you and Mr. McKenzie
can argue about it,

and the Commissar will be
busy trying to earn his salary.

I don't want to
discuss it anymore.

That's because
you know I'm right.

- Sally.
- I should worry.

I have a clear
conscience.

I can sleep at night.

Uh, wait here.

Pardon me.

Yes, sir.

Did you happen to see
Mr. Fairborn this morning?

Yes, I believe it was
around 9:00 or 9:30.

And did he have
his dog with him?

Let's see, he
checked his mailbox,

then he went down to the
garage to get his Jaguar.

And as I remember, yes, he
did have that thing with him.

- What thing?
- The dog,

if you can call
that thing a dog.

Me, I got a
German shepherd

that eats more than
that for breakfast.

You can't call that
scroungy little thing a dog.

It's more like a pet rat, if
you know what I mean?

Now, you take my
German shepherd.

There's a dog that a man doesn't
mind being seen in public with.

If you get what I mean?

I believe I do.

And his name is Duke.

That's a very nice name.

That's what all his friends called
John Wayne, you know. Duke.

I've... I've heard that.

What time is the
mail delivered?

About 9:00 or 10:00.

But, Duke, that's a name that a
man isn't ashamed to acknowledge.

"Hey, Duke. Roll over, Duke.
Move, Duke. Kill, Duke."

If you get my drift.

It would be well
nigh impossible

not to see what you
mean or to get your drift.

If you see what I mean?

Thank you.

Nice fellow. I think
he gets what I mean.

- You're not heeling.
- Oh, very funny.

- Where're we going?
- Yeakel's houseboat.

- Mrs. Fairborn said that...
- Sally,

I thought we had
that all settled.

I will not be party to
a breach of ethics.

Are you telling me you
won't drive me to Yeakel's?

I will not drive the Police
Commissioner to Yeakel's.

I will not be
party to a...

Okay.

Saint Sally of Assisi,

I'll drive.

Ha!

If you were kidnapped, I
wouldn't involve the police.

I'd just pay the money.

All that would matter to
me would be your safety.

You, of all people, Sally,
should know better.

The police would
never do anything

to jeopardize the
victim's safety.

It's police
policy to stay

in the background
until the victim is safe.

Mac?

I don't want to
discuss it anymore.

I know, darling, but
I think he would like

to discuss
something with you.

He who?

He him, that's who.

Oh.

He says to go
there, Mac.

Did you bring
your license?

Yes, I have my license.

I'm afraid you
missed the turnoff

for the lndianapolis

a couple of blocks
back, fellow.

Is that so?

Yeah.

Boy, the way you were
zippin' down that highway...

Uh,

you're the Commissioner,
aren't you?

Sure is a nice
day, isn't it?

Very nice.

Nice day for a drive.

I mean, on a day like
this, I guess anybody

would just like to go
zipping along the highway.

Was I speeding?

Well, we don't want to make
a federal case out of it.

Have a nice day,
Commissioner.

- Officer?
- Uh, yes, sir.

Aren't you gonna
write me up?

Write you up?

You're aware of
my recent edicts?

Oh, yes. You mean,
about no favoritism,

uh, when it comes to,
uh, traffic violations.

- Yeah, that's the one.
- Oh, yes, I... I...

I'm quite
aware of it, sir.

Uh, I've read it
several times.

Didn't you think
I meant it?

Oh, yes, sir, of
course you did, sir.

Well, then write me up.

Sure you won't have
any afterthoughts?

I mean, people do
change their mind.

No, I won't
change my mind.

It's human nature to
change your mind.

Officer, you were
doing your duty.

Oh, yes, sir. If
you say so, sir.

I'll put you down as
being very cooperative.

Oh, thank you.

My pleasure, uh... uh, I
mean, i-it's an honor...

I mean, you're welcome.

Your license will
be returned to you

at the hearing.

That's part of... of
your new system.

Yes, l... I remember.

Well,

- see you.
- Officer?

Oh, the ticket.

Thank you.

I'm so proud of you,

you stuck to your guns even
when they were aimed at you.

Without a license, you're
not allowed to drive.

And, if you recall,
I got your license.

I'll drive, Officer.

You got a
license, ma'am?

Yes, Officer.

Fine. Well,
I'll see you.

I could take a cab.

I'd rather you paid me than
some strange cab driver.

I hear the fares
have gone up.

We rely on tips.

Please don't fool with the meter
while our cab is in motion.

Hi,
Commissioner.

Hi.

Hi, Mac, Sally.

Hey, come on aboard
and have a beer.

Sorry, it's not
a social visit.

Oh, what's up?

Francesca Fairborn,
you heard of her?

- Oh, sure.
- Kidnapping.

Her husband. They're
demanding $100,000.

The ransom note warned
her not to call the police.

That's the way she
wants to play it.

That's the way the kidnappers
want her to play it, too.

Doesn't she realize the risk she's
taking not letting us in on it.

Somebody's got to convince her
there are lives at stake here.

Sally, why don't you convince
Francesca Fairborn?

How can I convince her when
I'm not convinced myself?

What aren't you
convinced of?

That the police
should be involved.

Oh, Sally, this is
a serious crime.

It's just that Mrs. Fairborn
wants to handle this herself.

It seems to me that...

If Mrs. Fairborn

wants to handle
it herself,

that lets the kidnappers free
to kidnap someone else.

Or to take her money and
not return her husband.

Or to just
raise the ante.

Does Mrs. Fairborn
want to handle that?

He's absolutely
right. Well, he is.

You know, Sally, Your father
taught me never to play

high-stakes poker
with a stranger.

I think the high stake
here is a man's life.

I'll talk to my mother.

Maybe she'll swing more
weight with Mrs. Fairborn.

Atta, slugger. Why
don't you do it now?

Come on, Enright. You and me
have to see a man about a dog.

Yeah, well, there
goes the weekend.

Are you shopping
or just looking, sir?

Doorman said
Fairborn drove a Jag.

This is his. Have
it impounded.

Yes, sir.

- What do you want?
- Mr. McMillan is here to see you.

He says it's a
police matter.

This is Belinsky.
Dr. Carmichael's busy.

So am l.

Has Mr. Fairborn
been in today?

No, I don't believe so.

The men are on their way to
pick up Fairborn's car, sir.

I told them to check out everything
completely. A real thorough check.

You know, fingerprints,
carpet stains,

ashtrays, tire treads,

glove compartment,
the whole works.

You know, these guys
usually don't leave anything,

gesundheit, sir, behind,

but it never hurts to
give a complete check.

Like the Commissioner's
told me many times,

police work is merely,
gesundheit, sir,

the putting together

of a thousand
little clues

into one great
big fact. In fact...

Thank you, Sergeant.

Charles
Enright, Sergeant.

How do you do, Enright?

You McMillan?

I am. Commissioner
of Police.

Well, I'm Dr. Langston
Carmichael.

Whatever it is
you have to say,

it better be
pretty important.

I've got one sick
bunny in there.

Has George Fairbunny...

Fairborn been
in here today?

No. He hasn't. He was
supposed to be, that is,

the Princess was supposed
to come in for her checkup.

But they haven't arrived.
Never even phoned to cancel.

His car is in
your parking lot.

- Oh, fascinating.
- Yes, it is.

Now, if your
curiosity is satisfied,

we have work to do.

Mr. McMillan, we're here to
cure illness, not to inflict it.

Come, Bernie, we've
a bunny to save.

Well, it must be
a nice business.

How do you mean?

Well, even if you
lose the patient,

you still have the
makings of a good stew.

Sayonara.

Hello,

this is Dr. Carmichael.

Yes.

The police
were just here.

How's it coming?

- Almost ready, sir.
- Make it soon.

Right.

Sally, Mother.

Mrs. Fairborn, I'm glad
you decided to cooperate.

Well, I already
rue that decision.

All these strangers milling
about everything topsy-turvy.

I only did it for
dear Emily.

- Have you raised the ransom?
- Yes, well, nearly.

My attorney,
Rudolph Dimrose,

is bringing by the
final $20,000.

The wiretap's
all ready, sir.

It starts automatically.

- Oh, good.
- Oh, what do we do next?

We wait for the
phone to ring.

Then we let
it ring... twice?

Then you must
keep them talking

as long as you can.

- Do you understand?
- Yes.

But don't let them
get suspicious.

Play it cool.

Certainly.

Cool.

Yes?

No, l...

Oh, for heaven's sake,
Lucille, really I can't...

But...

No.

I didn't know.

Oh, well, I really had no
hope for that marriage

in the first
place, dear.

Mrs. Fairborn.

Dear, could you please
call me back later?

Ciao.

That is Lucille Shorley.

She's the most horrible
gossip in the whole world.

My dear, you just should have
seen her going on at Biarritz.

These two people, they
absolutely were impossible.

I never talk about...

Mrs. Fairborn, quickly.

But I told her to
call back later.

Yes?

Mrs. Fairborn?

Yes.

You got the money?

No, I haven't raised
the money yet.

Did you call the police?

It is Saturday,
after all...

No, I have not
contacted...

the police.

Please, how is my dog?

He hung up.

Did the voice sound
familiar to you?

It was a man's voice.
I didn't recognize it.

Why don't I
make some coffee?

I'm sure we could
all use some.

Come, show me where
you keep everything.

Yes.

I think it's beginning
to hit her.

Yes.

Getting the note
is one thing.

It's impersonal,

Like something you read about
happening to someone else.

And she thought she
wanted to handle it herself.

It's hitting me, too.

Knowing there's somebody out there
playing a cat-and-mouse game like that.

Maybe we should
take you home.

- Who are you?
- Rudolph Dimrose.

I'm here to see
Mrs. Fairborn.

Oh, Rudolph.

Francesca.

Oh, how dear
of you to come.

Rudolf, I'd like you to meet
Mr. and Mrs. Carlton McKenzie.

For you.

So thoughtful.

And the money. So difficult
to raise on a Saturday.

Made me nervous just carrying
such an amount on my person.

The streets have
become a virtual jungle.

A virtual jungle.

Come on, Jane,

it's time to go back
to our tree house.

I'll take her home,
and I'll be right back.

Who does he think he is?

Who does he think he is, making
a remark like that about our city?

What's his name? Dim...
What's his name? Dim...

- Rose. Mac?
- Dimrose!

- Mac.
- Get in... Get in the car, Sally.

He called our city
a virtual jungle.

I've checked
the other cities,

he thinks he's been
around all over the place.

He doesn't know what
he is talking about.

Mac.

You've forgotten.

You've been
grounded, Commissar.

Uh...

I feel so sorry for
Mrs. Fairborn.

It's so cruel,

somebody just taking
over somebody like that.

She doesn't care a thing
about her husband.

- Mac!
- What?

Look!

It's that dog,
the Princess,

and there's a
man chasing her.

No, Sally, go after
the dog, not the man.

You, hold it.

Princess, heel.

Oh, my heel.
Wait a minute.

Princess, wait a minute.

Princess!

Princess,
pretty Princess.

Princess.

Oh, Princess!

Princess.

Princess. Come here.

Princess!

Wait!

Princess!

Oh, please.

Hey, Princess.
Hey, Princess.

Come here, Princess.
Come here, Princess.

Princess, little
champion, champion,

where are you,
little champion?

Princess. Princess.

Ooh, ooh, Princess.

Princess. Hi.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Come here.

I got you. I got
you, Princess.

I got you.

Mac.

Ah, Sally.

Where's the dog
you were chasing?

Home, where she belongs.

Mac.

Oh, yeah.

Mugged by a Pekinese.

She's a jolly good fellow,
she's a jolly good fellow.

She's a jolly good fellow
which nobody can deny

Hi, Commissioner.

Wait till you get
a load of this.

She's a jolly good fellow,
she's a jolly good fellow

I suppose you know that
Her Highness has returned.

What do you
make of it, sir?

She must have
escaped somehow.

Those chasing
her got away.

I didn't get a good
look at them.

Which nobody can deny.

Deny, deny, deny.

Ah, Mr. McKenzie,
champagne?

The Princess is back.

She's a jolly good fellow
which nobody can deny.

Which nobody can deny.

Which nobody can deny.

Mrs. Fairborn, answer
the telephone.

Oh, boring.

Which nobody can deny.

...nobody can deny.

Yes?

Mrs. Fairborn?

This is Francesca
Fairborn.

$100, 000?

Yes, I have collected
the entire amount.

- You'll get instructions...
- No...

No, I wouldn't be the
slightest bit interested

in your instructions.

The one I love is
safe, thank heavens.

Say something, darling.

If you think that philandering
fortune-hunter you're holding

is worth $100,000, I
suggest you keep him.

Ciao.

You wished to
handle this case? Well...

your wish is granted.

All that matters is
the Princess is back.

That and getting
her groomed in time

for the dog show Sunday.

We were talking about a human
being, your own husband.

He was my indulgence.

A momentary lapse in
judgment on my part.

Let's say, a cream puff
one allows oneself

in the middle of an otherwise
very, very strict diet.

I'm certain that you
understand, don't you, dear?

I certainly do,
Francesca.

But your husband
is in danger.

Never fear. George
is the kind of man

who will die in bed.

Shot to death by an
irate husband, no doubt.

You were willing to
pay $100,000 for this...

little pile of hair, but not
for your own husband?

This little piece of hair is worth
100,000 George Fairborns.

- Gesundheit.
- Gesundheit.

Gesundheit, Mac.

Dear Rudolph, please,

would you keep the ransom
money until Monday?

I don't have a safe.

I wouldn't sleep a wink
knowing there was

that much money
in the apartment.

Francesca, would it
be awful of me not to?

I don't have a safe
at home either,

and there have been so
many burglaries in my area.

We have a safe.

Don't we, Mac?

Yes. We have a safe.

I'll keep it
until Monday.

Under the circumstances,

this is indeed very kind
of you, Mr. McKenzie.

- McMillan.
- Oh.

This belongs to
you, I believe.

Would you mind terribly
keeping it for me, too?

It
isn't all mine,

and I would feel better
if I knew it was safe.

Until Monday morning,
Mrs. Fairborn.

Thank you.

Mr. McMillan,

we'd appreciate
a receipt.

It is $100,000.

And even police commissioners,
after all, are only human

and therefore subject
to temptation.

I know what you mean.

Like right now I'm
really tempted to...

Mac.

Give you a receipt.

I presume the
count is accurate.

Mrs. Fairborn, won't
you reconsider?

The kidnappers
might call back,

this money could
mean the difference.

Now, however you feel
about your husband,

surely you wouldn't want to
be responsible for his death?

Well, perhaps, I was
a bit hasty, I just...

We are exhausted.

If I could just...

If we could just
lie down, we...

All right, I'm going to the
office. If they call back,

call me right away.
Day or night, please.

Please, will you
excuse us?

Of course, darling.

- Come on, Sally.
- Good night, Mom.

Good night, darling.

Ann. Ann.

Mac, it's Saturday.
They're closed.

There is no Ann.

Sure there is, you.

Now, look, do
me a favor, Ann?

Help me make a lot
of calls, will you?

Right, Commissioner.

I don't understand.

That woman, would your
mother have such a friend?

What does she mean, "I'll
have to think about it."

What's there to think about? Doesn't
she realize her husband could...

Could be what?
Could be killed, Mac?

Of course he
could be killed.

Now let's do everything we can. You
know how to use a call directory?

No, but it doesn't
look too complicated.

Okay, then get me Enright,
file room and police garage.

- It's getting complicated.
- Find all the numbers in the Rolodex.

Mac, where's
the Rolodex?

Uh, under the
typewriter table.

When you get a
number, buzz me.

Mac, what's your number?

It's in the Rolodex.

Mac, you're impossible.

That's possible.

Mac, another light went
on. What does that mean?

What?

- Oh, it's you. Hi.
- Hi.

Are you getting
me a number or not?

Yes, I got you
Enright, I think.

2-0-0-7.

Hello, Enright? Hello?

You disconnected me.

Sally.

Sally.

- Sally!
- Yes?

You disconnected me.

I did?

Why didn't you
answer the buzzer?

Nothing buzzed.

Nothing buzzed?
It always buzzes.

Why don't you sit here

and I'll go in there
and try the buzzer,

and we will see whether or
not it works or not, okay?

Okay.

It's a good way
to find out.

Are you buzzing me?

Yes, dear.

Okay. You win.

Would you like me
to get Enright now?

- Yes, please.
- What's his number?

5-5-3.

I'll get it.

He's not in. Give me
the police garage.

It says the file room.

- Okay, the file room.
- Here's the file room.

Sammy?

Yes, of course
I'm in the office.

I want an immediate rundown
on Francesca Fairborn

George Fairborn, her husband,
Rudolph Dimrose, her attorney,

and Langston Carmichael,

he's a veterinarian,
and his assistant,

uh, uh, something-sky,

Bel... B-Belinsky,
Bernie Belinsky. Right.

Oh, yes, good.
Send him up.

Enright's here.
Now get me the...

- Police garage.
- Okay.

- Hello? Hey, you're getting good.
- Thank you.

But not perfect.
Who am I talking to?

Oh, Geoffreys,
good. This is Mac.

By any remote chance,
is there an M.O.

on kidnappers
who take dogs

or raise dogs or use dogs

or own Pekineses
or Pekinei.

Find out everything
as soon as you can.

I was working on the
background checks

when you called,
sir. Here they are.

- How are you doing, Sergeant?
- Fine.

Names, addresses,
birthplaces, birth dates.

There is something strange
about the ransom note, sir.

It read, "We have
the one you love."

I would have written, "We
have your husband."

Well, maybe they thought
that she loved him.

Some women love
their husbands.

It's been known
to happen.

You think they could have
known they were going to

kidnap him at the dog
kennel parking lot, sir?

More than likely.
It's a good choice.

Saturday morning, the
whole area is deserted.

Someone must
have told them.

I will have to run a check
on all of Fairborn's friends.

Right. Call me the
minute you find anything.

We'll be home
all evening.

Mildred,
Mr. McMillan might receive

an urgent telephone call
in the middle of the night.

So, don't be frightened.
We'll take it.

Okay, if that's
what you want.

Mac, - Mmm?

What do you think is gonna
happen to him now?

He'd be lucky to be
run over by a car.

Fairborn?

No, Dimrose.

I'm talking
about Fairborn.

Oh, well, it's
hard to say.

You don't think they'll
kill him, do you?

Wouldn't that be awful?

Mac, you've got to convince
Mrs. Fairborn in the morning.

How could somebody do such
a thing to their own husband?

Who did what to
whose husband?

It's nothing, Mildred.

Oh, sure. And I was
born yesterday.

The missus sits here like
the guest of honor at a wake

talking about some
grisly business,

and the Police Commissioner
tells me it's nothing.

Don't stand on
ceremony, Mildred.

Pour yourself a
drink and join us.

Uh, no, thanks. I
already have one.

Well, what is
it, homicide?

Kidnapping.

Oh, yeah? I just
finished a kidnapping.

I prefer a good
homicide.

Mildred, how can you
read those books?

Don't they give
you nightmares?

No, but the
newspapers do.

All those
unsolved crimes.

Doesn't happen that
way in my book.

They always get
the guilty party.

No matter how clever they
are, they always slip up.

As lnspector Girard
always says...

I love you.

...the criminal is a
flawed individual.

The problem is simply
in discovering that flaw.

There's too much
vermouth in that.

Inspector Girard is
a wonderful man.

You'd like him.
He lives all alone,

except for his faithful
housekeeper, Agnes.

Oh, he was married,

but his wife was
killed in the war.

They were in the
Resistance together.

I don't think there's anything going
on between him and Agnes,

but then, you
never know.

I mean, they're both French,
you know what I mean?

Two, five...

Mac, suppose Mrs. Fairborn
won't change her mind?

- 10, 16, 20...
- I think she will.

I'm worried that the
kidnappers might not call back.

25. Oh, they have to.

I hope you're right.

- Strange.
- What?

You always take your
left shoe off first.

Were you aware of that?

No. I will not turn into
a creature of habit.

Habits aren't so bad.

Like lying about
one's pushups?

You've got a bunch
of nifty ones,

I wouldn't change
for the world.

You've got
some nifty habits, too.

Don't you think the
kidnappers would try

one more time
to make a deal?

I mean, maybe come
down in price? I would.

Would what?

Try again.

I mean, they are going to a lot of trouble
just to take one "no" for an answer.

Don't you agree?

Well, it's hard to say.

Well, the first rule of salesmanship
is never take no for an...

Mrs. Fairborn.

Shut the door, Sally.

Don't touch anything.

Mrs. Fairborn.

Stay here, Sally.

Sally.

Mrs. Fairborn.

What's happened?

She's dead.

- Mac!
- She's dead.

Oh, Mac.

- Sally, answer the telephone.
- Why?

If it's the kidnapper, tell
him we have the money,

and we are ready to go
through with the payoff.

- Okay, are you ready?
- Yeah.

- Hello.
- Mrs. Fairborn.

No, this isn't
Mrs. Fairborn.

I'm a friend of hers, but don't
hang up. I have the money.

She's had, uh,
an accident,

but she wants to
ransom her husband.

$100, 000?

$100,000, that's right.

- You'll get your instructions.
- When?

- We'll call you back.
- When will you call back?

- We'll call you back.
- No, I'll be here.

He hung up.

Mac, I'm so frightened.

You're doing
fine, honey.

Sergeant
Enright, please.

What'll I say when
they call back?

You'll be just fine.

Enright, Francesca Fairborn
has been murdered.

Get over here,
right away.

Gesundheit.

Get out of here.

Sally, that voice
on the telephone,

did it sound
familiar to you?

No, I don't think so.
Did it sound like

he was talking through a
handkerchief or something?

Maybe, there was something
about it. I can swear that...

I heard that
voice before.

Oh, God bless you, Mac.

Sounds like you are coming
down with something.

You've been sneezing
like that for two days.

I feel fine. I must be
allergic to that dog.

Hope you're not
allergic to me.

It's got
to be that dog.

You're not
allergic to dogs.

No, I'm not.

Must be that perfumey
stuff the vet sprayed on.

You think I sneeze here?

You should hear how I
sneezed in Carmichael's office.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

That voice on
the telephone.

- Dr. Carmichael.
- No, no, no, no,

his assistant,
a guy named...

something-sky...
Prolisky, Berlinsky.

Uh, uh...

- What's the name of the vet's assistant?
- Bernie Belinsky.

- Where is she?
- She's in the bedroom.

Belinsky is about the same
size of the guy I chased.

- Enright!
- Yes, sir.

Sally, could you stay here in
case the kidnappers should call?

- Of course.
- Okay.

Enright and I are
gonna visit Carmichael.

Okay, maybe I'll call Mother
to come and stay with me.

Good idea.

It will be all right. Just
stay out of that bedroom.

You think they'll be
open on Sundays?

Of course.

A sick bunny doesn't
care what day it is.

The question is, sir,
why would anyone

want to kill
Mrs. Fairborn?

It's a good question.

Well, it could have been someone
who wanted the $100,000,

or it could have been
the kidnappers.

No, it couldn't have been the kidnappers.
They called after she was dead.

Well, then it must've been
someone who was after the money.

That's why that apartment
was such a mess.

They didn't know
you'd already taken it.

Maybe.

Maybe?

That's not a very
definite answer.

No, but it's
a definite maybe.

Belinsky.

Now, just what's
going on here?

He's dead.

Who would want
to do such a thing?

I was gonna ask
you the same thing.

Did he have
any enemies?

Any friends?

I knew little about
his personal life.

I can't believe he
had any enemies.

Well, he had one.

Yeah. I see you've
already heard.

The animals adored him.

Animals, you know,
have a sixth sense.

The bugger bit me.

It seems such
a long time ago

poor Francesca
was ringing my bell.

It seems years ago,

and it was only
yesterday morning.

She had her faults,
but she was a friend.

Mother, you
shouldn't dwell on it.

How she loved
that animal.

I know.

She was so proud, the
ribbons, the trophies.

You know what?

I am going to enter
Anastasia in that dog show.

Oh, Mother.

It was so important
to Francesca.

For months that's
all she talked about.

You don't know the first
thing about dog shows.

I know it's the Nob
Hill Dog Show,

and I know it's taking
place tomorrow afternoon

at Civic Hall.

I assume that's all
I have to know.

After all, they won't
be judging me.

Lucky for Anastasia, you would
be best in show, hands down.

Oh, what a daughter.

All right,
everybody freeze.

Are you okay,
Mrs. McMillan?

I'm okay. Here we go.

- Hello?
- Mrs. Fairborn.

- It's him.
- What about the money?

Yes, I have the money.

$100, 000?

No, I don't have it on me.
But I can get it, though.

- When?
- Tomorrow.

- I'll pick it up.
- Where?

Meet me at the docks.

The docks?

No, I'm afraid that would
be entirely unsuitable.

The dog show.

The dog show at
Civic Hall, 2:00.

Take it or leave it.

Okay, what about
the money?

What do you look like?

Yes, I'll have the
money in a paper bag.

What do I look like?
What do I look like?

Well, I'm a girl.

"Oh, well, I am
about 5'8" tall.

I have long, brown hair.

Actually, it's not long.
It's long in the back,

but kind of shaggy
in the front.

I have that new cut.
Looks kind of good.

Question is, sir, was
Belinsky... was Belinsky

killed because he
was involved in the

kidnapping
of Mr. Fairborn

or because he
was involved

with the murder
of Mrs. Fairborn?

The answer's
probably yes to both.

He was killed because
he was involved

in the kidnapping and
knew about the murder.

Commissioner,
your wife is on the phone.

Near the judge's
stand? Okay.

- Sally.
- Mac.

That was just the
kidnappers that called.

They wanted me to
deliver the money

to the docks tomorrow.

Good. It's isolated.
Yeakel will like that.

He will?

Makes it easier to
maintain surveillance.

Oh.

"Oh?" What do
you mean, oh?

Oh, I mean, l... I told
you what he said.

I didn't tell you
what I said.

Oh.

I told him that I'd
deliver it to the dog show.

Oh.

Well, you're not delivering it.
We'll have a policewoman do it.

Oh, no. I have to do it.

You see, I
described myself.

I even told him about
my picture in the paper.

If some other woman shows
up, he'll know it's a trap.

It's got to be me.

All that
confusion, Sally.

All those people, it's
too dangerous. No.

We can't just let
Mr. Fairborn die.

I really don't care what
arrangements have been made.

You have no right to use
that money, Commissioner.

I think I have.

And I have every
confidence

that Mr. Fairborn would
back me up in this matter.

I'm certain
that he would.

But speaking as executor
of Mrs. Fairborn's estate,

I can assure you that he
is not one of the heirs

and would be in no position
to make restitution,

should the ransom
not be recovered.

When I last spoke
with Mrs. Fairborn,

she indicated a
change of heart.

I got the impression that she'd
decided to ransom her husband.

I disagree.

But morally...

I am not a priest,
Mrs. McMillan.

I'm a lawyer.

And, legally, I'm saying
that your husband

will be held responsible

if anything should
happen to that money.

Are you prepared for
that contingency?

Tell me,

if the kidnappers
decide to kill Fairborn,

are you prepared to accept the
responsibility for his death?

Come on, Sally.

- Now, don't be nervous.
- I won't.

Just be cool. You'll be under
surveillance at all times.

- I know.
- Don't be scared.

There's nothing
to worry about.

If you tell me
one more time

there's nothing
to worry about,

I'm going to
begin to worry.

It's nearly 2:00.
Mrs. McMillan,

now, you be very,
very careful,

there's nothing
to worry about.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Here I go.

Thanks, Mac.

She's quite a girl.

She's got the
moxie of a Marine.

Yeah, but some
legs on that Marine.

Well, I mean, even
without the moxie,

she'd still be quite
a Marine... girl.

Francis, please
report to the Superintendent's office.

Albert McTaggart report to
Silky Terrier Ring Number Two.

Collie dogs to be judged
next in Ring Number four.

Margaret Wells, last call for
German shepherd Number 52.

Hi, Mom.

Act casual.

Good luck, Anastasia.

Be careful, dear.

Judge John Dillon,
Ring Number seven.

Calling old English
sheepdog Number 24

to Ring Number three.

Francis, please report to
the Superintendent's office.

Hello, Doc. How's
your bunny?

Oh, very well,
thank you.

Come, Shirley.

Albert McTaggart to report to
Silky Terrier Ring Number Two.

What's the matter, sir?

I think Carmichael uses
dog spray for cologne.

Look, I'm gonna go
around that way again.

- Excuse me.
- Yes.

- Mrs. McMillan?
- Yes.

Collie dogs to be judged
next in Ring Number Four.

Fellow told me there's a
phone call for you in the lobby.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

Margaret Wells, last call for
German shepherd Number 52.

Obedience dogs
Number 81, 95 and 27,

Ring Number Five.

Judge John Dillon,
Ring Number Seven.

Sally.

Stop that man! Stop that man!
Stop that dog! Dog! Dog!

Hey, you're one of
ours! Stop that man!

Sally, you all right?

He got the money,
Mac, there he is!

There
he goes, Mac.

The man in the red coat.

Hey, you! Stop!

Somebody stop that man!

On your feet.

You're under arrest.

Hey, what's
going on here?

We'll ask the
questions here.

- Commissioner.
- What is it?

That's our lunch.
Fifi's and mine.

Why were you running?

Because you
were chasing me.

- Why were you chasing me?
- Oh, the bag.

You thought I
swiped your lunch?

Would you care for half?

It's only tuna fish.

No, thanks.

What happened
back there?

Oh, well, it seems our
friend came up with

a very unique
distraction.

A couple of lady dogs

in the mood for...

love, you know
what I mean?

I-ls it all right
if I go now?

Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm very sorry.

I hope you find
your lunch.

He's a good-natured
fellow.

Yeah, considering
you just mugged him.

You know what?

What?

The human race neglects its
real heroes, you know that?

I'll buy that. Any
hero in particular?

Well, the man who invented
the martini, for one.

Every park has a statue.

Every statue is some
guy sitting on a horse, with...

his sword at his side.

But where, oh, where,
is a statue of the man

who first rode
into battle

armed with only
six parts gin

and a squidge
of vermouth?

Hear, hear.
I'm with you.

I couldn't have said
it better myself.

- I'll get it.
- Okay.

Hello? Yes.

Right. 20 minutes.

What's the matter?

It was Yeakel.

Fairborn's turned up.

- Commissioner.
- What's the story?

A patrolman over at
North Beach spotted him

when he was
grazed by a car.

He thought he was drunk.

He was staggering around.
His clothes were a mess.

But when he questioned him,
he found out it was Fairborn.

- How is he?
- He's all right.

Cuts and bruises.

Doctor says he
was drugged, but...

- he'll be okay by tonight or tomorrow.
- Was he any help at all?

According to the officer who found him,
Fairborn wasn't very much help at all.

He remembered parking his
car at the vet's and that's it.

Maybe when he wakes up,
he'll remember some more.

Yeah, that's a maybe, but
there's one thing for sure.

When he wakes up, somebody's got to
tell him that his wife's been murdered.

Who could...

Who could do
such a thing?

We don't know yet.

We'd like to ask you.

Who'd do such a thing?

I... I don't know.

She could...
She could be outrageous.

It was just her way.

But she never...

But she never
hurt anyone.

No one could hold a
grudge against Francesca.

Could it have
been a robbery?

Could have.

Your apartment
was ransacked.

But until you check things over, we
won't know if anything's missing.

The doctor
says I can go home.

Later today
I'll... I'll...

I'll check things out
and let you know.

We'd appreciate that.

Look,

thanks for,

for coming
here like this.

I... I know it couldn't have been
an easy thing for you to do.

Thank you.

How many times do
you brush your hair?

100 strokes.

Every night?

- Mmm-hmm.
- Okay.

You have your
habits, I have mine.

Are you trying
to gaslight me?

What?

Drop it already,
before I go bananas.

What?

The other shoe.

Oh.

What's on your mind?

Something about habits.

Oh, Mac, I really don't mean
to make you self-conscious.

Oh, no, it's not that.

It's just something
to do with this case,

and I don't know what.
It's really gnawing at me.

Why don't you
sleep on it,

it'll come to you
in the morning.

Wait a minute.

You sure know how to
make a girl feel wanted.

The ransom note.

Francesca wouldn't let me take
the ransom note on Saturday,

and yet, yesterday
it was gone.

Whoever ransacked the
apartment took the note.

Left a lot of jewelry
on Francesca,

but took the note. Why?

Maybe the kidnappers

put his return address
on the letter.

- Maybe he did.
- He did what?

Well, not a return
address necessarily, but...

some sort of giveaway.

Maybe he was afraid the police
could trace the typewriter.

It wasn't typed.

It was put together with letters
cut from a newspaper.

I know. It had an
out-of-town postmark.

It wasn't mailed.

If it had been, Fairborn
would have received

his own ransom note
when he checked the mail

on Saturday morning.

Then someone
must have slipped it

into Francesca's mailbox
later that morning.

- Or...
- Or what?

Or...

I don't know what.

Here, this is about
the right size.

The right size for what?

Why are you
getting dressed?

To conduct an
experiment.

Where are you going?

With you. You know you can't
get a cab at this time of night.

A cab?

Oh, you keep forgetting.
You've been grounded.

It's habit.

Too late, Pavlov.
Clues, wrap the clues.

Doesn't fit.

Oh, here, you
could fold it.

The envelope
wasn't folded.

That's the point.
You need a key.

George Fairborn
has a key.

Where's the phone?

Hello?

Hmm?

No, no, it's nothing
important, Commissioner.

You didn't disturb me.

What?

Yeah, I'm on my way.

Oh, nobody makes
house calls anymore.

No one but cops
and crooks.

You see? No way.

Fairborn wasn't checking the
mail. He was delivering it.

We'll go
upstairs and get him.

You better get Mrs. McMillan
out of the way.

Right. I'll
take her home.

I'll call you as
soon as I get him.

Be careful, Mac.

Sally, that's Fairborn!

Sally! Stop, get
out and call the police.

- I'll follow him.
- Watch this, Mac.

I can get him when we
go around the corner.

If you wait for the police,
we'll never get him.

Faster, Sally, faster.

Maybe we can get
nabbed for speeding.

I know. I can catch him.

Sally!

Stay down!
It's not safe.

Don't worry about them.
Worry about Fairborn!

I'll worry about him.

I'll worry about
the traffic, too.

I don't want to
get you killed.

I really can make it,
Mac. I'm a good driver.

I think we're
gaining on him.

No, I'm going to find
a squad car, Sally,

and you've got
to be careful.

Yes, sir.

Uh, that was
pretty close.

You're telling me?

We've got him now, Mac.

He's turning
into the garage.

Sally, uh...

Sally!

We got
him now, Mac.

- Mac!
- Sally, get back!

There's gas leaking.

Come on.

Down!

- Mac, are you all right?
- Sally.

Yes, I'm fine. The
ransom money.

Over here!

- You all right, Mac?
- Yeah, I am fine.

Get him out of here!

I'll get the fire.

Well, it all seems
to be here, sir.

I guess it was Fairborn
who killed Belinsky,

right, Commissioner?

They were probably partners
in the deal, weren't they?

Fairborn figured I
might recognize.

Belinsky's voice
on the phone.

He killed him, right?

Some guy to go into
business with, huh?

Yeah.

Mac, now can we get back
what we were doing?

Oh, you mean you
were asleep, too?

Sergeant,
you're so sweet.

Well, I think I'll take
my tuna fish sandwich

back to the station.
Good night.

Now, you figured that
Fairborn came back

to steal the letter.

And then he
killed Francesca

when she found him in
the apartment, right?

Right. Almost. He came
back to steal the money

and murdered his
wife deliberately.

Saw the letter and
realized his mistake.

Yes, but when the police
found him, he was drugged.

Sedatives.
Self-administered.

You're amazing.

Let's get
something to eat.

I've got an idea.
Come here.

On a full stomach? Aren't you
supposed to wait 15 minutes?

That's swimming.

Oh, okay.