Original subtitles

All right, you climb. I'll stand guard.

Uh, I don't think so. Come on, Ken.

You're a lot more athletic than me.

I ride horses, Ashley. They do all the

work. Besides, I've never had a very

good relationship with Steep Hills in

the middle of the night.

That is so lame.

I'll take it up with my therapist.

Fine. You watch. I'll go. But don't be

gone long. Okay.

Ashley, maybe this isn't such a good

idea.

We've got to get rid of old lady

Bartholomew somehow.

I know, but we still have to deal with

that guy, Will Kip.

He's just a stupid towny. I'll handle

him.

Wait till Bartholomew eats this in the

morning with her over easy.

No, but I have

I'm sorry. I I'm I'm sorry. I can't do

it. No. Get him.

Oh,

it's too bad about Miss Bartholomew.

I don't know what we're going to do now,

Will. I can call you Will, right?

Yeah, sure.

You see, Will, we're winners of the

Walden Pon Essay Award ward. It's the

highest honor there is at Sheridan. And

our parents were so proud. But now with

Mrs. Bartholomew taken ill, we'll never

have another chance to experience the

wilds of mother earth. Unless you take

us.

I can't take you out there without your

teacher.

Oh, she's history for a couple of days.

Believe me, we'd feel perfectly safe

with you taking care of us.

Uh, I'm afraid not.

Look, we happen to know contracts have

been signed and that you've already been

paid in full. You obviously need the

money.

Look, miss, we have a saying out here in

the wild. Fresh air is free. Money ain't

everything.

Good day.

I never knew you'd back out on a

contract. Will,

I ain't babysitting two spoiled Heathers

like that.

Only the two oldest will go. The others

will choose to remain with their

teacher.

You act like I'm supposed to do this.

You are.

Uh-uh.

No way, buddy. That's where I draw the

line. I'm not spending time with two

condos jerkheads like that. I can't do

it. I won't do it.

The swamp is my world. It is who I am.

It is what I am.

I was once a man. I know the evil men

do.

Do not bring your evil here. I warn you.

Beware the wrath of

Swamp Thing.

Okay, stop paddling,

Kimberly. Stop paddling.

Oh, I'm afraid my technique's a little

rusty. Will

leave a little water in the swamp,

Stevenson.

I thought you said you had experience at

this.

My parents have much larger than this on

Lake Jet.

Oh, yeah.

Congressman Stevenson owns the whole

lake.

Look for him. All righty. I want to make

camp before night.

So So

get your bags.

Isn't that your job?

What?

The Boston Lansberries haven't lifted a

bag for generations.

Yeah, well, Philadelphia Kip thinks it's

time for new tradition. So lift. Let's

go.

It is so hot out here. I cannot believe

it. My hair is terminal. I just know it.

I don't know why we have to drive into

the swamp.

Well, cuz cars will scare the snakes. It

is so gross. Are you absolutely sure we

get three wishes?

That's what I heard.

Yeah. Well, what if you got it wrong? I

mean I mean is it possible that it could

have been three tests and one wish?

Wishes always come in threes, Kimberly.

That's the way it works. And I know what

I'm going for first.

Yeah, valet would be nice.

I'm talking about something important

and special. Luke Perry or Jason

Priestley.

Oh, get real.

I suppose you've got a better idea.

Well, as a matter of fact, I do. I'm

hoping for a full bright scholarship.

That is the most disgusting thing you

ever said, Kimberly.

What are you two talking about?

A complex mythological concept you'd

never understand. Is my mascara all

right? I cannot believe how hot it is

out here.

My feet are killing me.

Spirited, aren't they?

Those two think they're better than

everyone else. Can you believe that?

Try to look past the surface. These

girls have many problems.

Yeah, like their personalities.

Their parents are people of great power

will. And these girls someday will take

their place in the world.

Now, there's a reassuring thought.

They have a long way to go. That's true.

They've come here for something they

think is called the test of Shabbala.

And that's exactly what they're going to

get. A test with your help.

Fine by me. I'd love to teach them a

thing or two.

This better not give me varicose veins

or big legs. The last thing I need is a

bigger leg.

Well, here's where we camp. long time.

I'm tired and I'm absolutely damaged.

Well, it's too bad. We still got to get

firewood for tonight.

Like you're going to pay for a new

manicure,

right?

You know, he is a stud muffin.

I cannot believe this. There's no place

to plug this in.

You can't be serious.

Well, I didn't know. Stevenson,

everybody knows they don't have

electrical outlets out here.

Camping tips from someone whose idea of

roughing it is a hotel suite in Paris

with no BCR.

I thought you were hungry. Break out our

chicken.

Okay, now we have to do this by the

numbers. Otherwise, Shabba won't show.

We need a ceremonial fire, remember?

Then start one.

That tree's alive, in case you didn't

notice.

It'll burn, won't it?

That's not the point, Ashley. You got to

learn to respect the nature around you.

Oh, I guess that seems a little corny

for you, huh?

Just make our fire a right, tonto. We

get enough lectures at school.

Well, I guess you missed the one about

gators, then.

You see, alligators have some of the

most powerful jaws on the face of the

earth. Snap your head clean off. Now you

leave your bag there. You're a midnight

snack. You didn't even have to get out

of the water.

Now my dad's up for reelection this year

and it's pretty much a walk. Kimberly,

how could you possibly know something

like that?

He's got all the unions in his pocket.

They think he's going to do things for

them. What a joke.

Yeah, well, my father's going to be CEO

soon with all kind of stock options and

other things.

Talk about a fantastic deal. We use the

company jet anytime we want.

Wow. I always wondered what it was like

inside of one of those.

I actually haven't been in it yet.

Thought you said you got to use it

anytime you like.

Who are you? Heraldo Rivera. My father's

a busy man. Is that all right with you?

What was that?

I don't think we better talk about her.

Will you tell us?

Okay.

On the other side of the swamp, there's

a heavily guarded compound. Tons of

security. Hospital for the criminally

insane.

Now, a couple of years ago, their most

dangerous inmate escaped.

His name's Bobby Joe Tilman. They were

caught.

He escaped in the middle of the night.

They sent their hounds after him. They

found one of them dead in the swamp.

Leg was chewed clean off.

Could have been an alligator. You said

so yourself. Mm-

Autopsy proved that it was human teeth

marks.

You mean he ate it raw?

Rottweiler sushi.

Nice try, Will, but I saw that story in

a Freddy Krueger movie. He's doing this

deliberately.

Take what you want. Take note. They say

that you always hear Bobby Joe's crazy

maniacal voice

just before he strikes.

Yeah. Well, I say we do the ritual and

get out of here. How we doing on the

chicken bones?

We have nine. Perfect.

So, are you two going to clue me into

what you're up to?

All right.

On the third day in the third month of

the third quarter moon, you can call up

this genie who'll grant three wishes.

It's called the test of Shabbala, and

we'd like you to be the third point to

our triangle.

No,

no, I can't. I I've heard about this

Shabbala dude and and No,

no problem. It was just an idea. Maybe

we should turn in. What? I said I'm

tired, you know.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Night.

That should hold up.

All right, hand me the amulet.

We approach the sacred Shabba flame and

ask him to appear.

Oh great Shabala, we offer the sunflower

to light your way. The ellip.

Oh great Shabbalva, we offered the food

of the earth to sustain you from the

ethereal to the material. Go the green

son.

Oh great Chabala, we offer the blood of

spears to coarse through your heart.

Come forth through flame. Come forth.

Throw the red stuff.

Nothing.

Do you think we did it? Do Do you think

that was Shabba?

I don't know. I really didn't see

anything.

W got swallowed by a bush.

You're out of your mind.

I swear to God, Ashley,

you just had a bad knot. WILL, WHERE ARE

YOU?

Followed by a VERY LARGE BUSH.

STOP IT, KIMBERLY.

WELL, then where is he?

Well, come on,

can you hear me? This isn't funny.

My father was saying to me,

Yeah, well, my mom was trying to run.

Do you think we lost him? WE GOT TO GO

BACK.

I'M NOT GOING BACK THERE.

MOM, we need our stuff. Kim, my clothes,

makeup, jewelry, everything.

What' I tell you, Alec? Couple of real

losers, huh?

You weren't listening very carefully.

Yeah, I was getting dragged through thin

air. Man, my neck is still killing me.

Well, I had to make it look real.

Why bother? I mean, who cares about a

couple of spoiled rich brats like that?

I care. And what I don't understand is

your angle, Will. Ashley and Kimberly

haven't done anything to you.

Hey, hey, I have known kids like this

before. They go through their whole life

getting everything, and they never give

a damn about what anybody else has to go

through.

Well, maybe we can teach them, too.

No offense, Alec. You You've spent too

much time in the swamp. You can't teach

them anything. They already know it all.

Well, thank you for explaining that to

me, Will. I was beginning to think you

were the one who knew it all.

Do you think he's dead?

Who?

Who do you think?

Mr. Kip, our attitude guide.

Yeah, well, it was your attitude that

got us into this mess in the first

place.

You're the Shabbala authority, not me. I

mean, everything had to be just right.

Stop it, Ashley Dne. Will could be dead

for all we know.

If you want to go on without me, go

ahead. Take off.

Don't be stupid. We're in this together.

Uh, Mr. Shabba, sir, look, you if we've

insulted you or, you know, called on you

at a bad time, we're real sorry, okay?

And Will, he had nothing to do with

this. We were just playing a little

trick. Throw in the amulet.

Look,

the invocation. See, I'm ripping it up.

No more magic. All gone.

I don't think this is working.

Copy. Joe Tilman laughs just before he

strikes.

Kimberly, what did we do? What did we do

to deserve this?

Well, if we get out of here, I will

never again want something for nothing.

It was your idea anyway.

Not. But ditto. I swear too. I'll give

my brother a break and I'll even hang

out with my sister more.

Yeah. And I promise never to sneak vodka

from the freezer again and dilute it

with water.

I'm never going to steal money from my

father's sock drawer.

Ashley,

it's quiet.

Maybe we're going to be all right.

You know,

my father really doesn't know how much

money he has in that sock.

OH. OH, MY LEG.

KIMBERLY, WAIT.

YEAH. WELL, you said I could go if I

wanted. I need your help.

Come on,

Ashley. I think we need a rest. You know

what? If I'd known it was going to be

like this, I never would have worked so

hard plagiarizing my Walden essay.

Ashley,

do you think they're looking for us yet?

Not my parents. My father's probably on

the 13th T.

Look, Kimberly, if I fall, you know, if

I can't go on, I mean, if it was me, I

don't know what I'd do.

I'm here. Don't worry.

That's it. Well, it doesn't matter

anyway. I don't know how much more of

this I can take, Ashley. I really don't.

Are you kidding? You're amazing. You've

called me for a day and a half. You're

my new hero.

Now,

I mean it. Florence Henderson is out.

You're in. Effective immediately.

Yeah. Well, before you get too excited,

you ought to know that I have absolutely

no idea where we are.

Wait a minute.

Why don't we navigate by the stars to

get out of here?

Right. Like you ever listen to Professor

Atley's astronomy lectures?

No, it's a yaching thing. I've watched

our crew do it a million times.

No kidding. You take the North Star,

that's 90°, and then you hold your other

arm at an angle.

What angle?

Where the sun went down. That's west,

160. And since we came from the south,

you split the difference.

How do you know we came from the south?

Will said so.

I never heard him say that.

No wonder we're lost. We have to start

paying more attention, Kim. It's

embarrassing.

Not bad, Alan. Not bad. I'd be totally

bored if I didn't know they were

miserable.

Something tells me your heart still

isn't in this.

I was kidding. All right.

Truth is, I have been pretty rough on

those brats. Girls. Girls.

It's not even them that I resent. It's

all the things I never had as a kid.

They just sort of reminded me, you know,

then Ashley and Kimberly weren't the

only ones who rose to the occasion.

I guess not.

Ashley, can I ask you a question? Is it

really true what you said before?

Nah, Florence Henderson is still my

hero. Sorry.

I mean, about your father being on the

13th team. I mean, our parents have to

be looking for us, right?

I honestly don't know. It could be a

month before I might even know I'm

missing.

Look, it's a trail.

We're back on trail. We're going to make

it home.

I'm not running anymore.

Actually, that tree's alive.

WHOEVER WHATEVER IT IS, WE'LL HAVE TO

BRING US TOGETHER.

WELL, you're alive.

Where are you girls been? I've been

looking all over for you.

We got lost.

Well, it happens. So, did you get what

you wished for?

Not exactly,

but we're not complaining.

I can't believe it. People are actually

here.

I'm dead meat.

Well, I'm going to be grounded until I'm

30. Then I'll be dead meat.

Dad. Dad.

working.

Alec

Alex's not funny.

Alex

Heat. Heat.