Original subtitles

[sword scrapes]

♪ [dramatic orchestral]

♪ [Baroque]

♪ [dramatic orchestral]

[blades clashing]

[grunting]

♪ [dramatic orchestral]

So!

I'd only use it as a last resort, when all else has failed.

- It has served me well, as you can see. - Yes, Father.

- Won't you sit down, sir? - No, no, no. Time is short.

You must be off.

Oh!

I've given you my secret thrust. I give you also these 15 crowns.

And this.

Your grandfather bore this sword against the Moors at Lepanto.

I made some use of it under the late King Henry.

- Oh? - Now it is yours.

It will introduce you to Monsieur Treville,

who commands the King's Musketeers.

He will remember it well.

And me.

Here.

My son, you're going to be a Musketeer.

You are young, you should be brave for you are a Gascon and a D'Artagnan.

So fight whenever you can. Never submit to insults,

except from the King and the Cardinal Richelieu.

Now, be wary of the Cardinal, for he rules France through the King.

But you are a King's man, and the Queen's.

So!

Now, go and say goodbye to your mother.

The ointment is in the valise. Rub it well into every scratch.

And dry your cloak and your shoes well!

Yes, Mother. Goodbye.

- Goodbye, Father. - Goodbye.

[whistles]

Don't sell the horse! Let him die honorably of old age!

And fight, remember!

Take care.

[sawing]

- [horse whinnies] - [D'Artagnan whistles]

Come on!

Decidedly, it is someone riding a buttercup.

[men laughing]

Unless it is a cheese with legs.

[men laughing]

Tell me what you laugh at, sir, and we will laugh together,

if you speak to me.

If you were a gentleman, I would speak to you.

I was speaking at you, sir.

But I am speaking to you, sir!

Turn, if you're a man! Let us see you laugh now!

[yells]

[grunts]

- [D'Artagnan groans] - These Gascons.

- Shall I cut his throat? - No.

Put him on his ridiculous horse and let him go.

- [whip cracks nearby] - [man shouting] Yah! Yah!

[groaning]

No time to talk, Milady.

The Cardinal commands you to England.

You are to let him know the moment the Duke of Buckingham leaves London.

- And then? - Await his further orders.

And you?

When shall I see you again?

[D'Artagnan] You... You assassin!

I shall chastise you, sir.

Oh. Oh, forgive me, madam, but I must kill your friend.

[softly] Are you not terrified?

Ha! Away, bumpkin! You will hear from me.

He's very handsome.

[whip cracks]

Even though a little drunk, I think.

Claude, pay the bill!

[D'Artagnan] You...

Oh, drat!

[loud clamor, dog barking]

- Monsieur Treville? - He's upstairs.

- Follow me. - Thank you.

I, uh, do admire the belt, Porthos, I do.

Oh, yes, well, in me you see a man who must spend his money

on fine shirts and the like.

- What? - Or one's mistress's money.

Oh, no, Aramis. On my honor as a gentleman,

my own money, all of 12 pistoles.

Oh, a mere trifle, but it is gold belting all the way round of me.

Astonishing! There is enough gold in France to stretch all that distance?

Might I lift the costly cloak to admire the belt more?

No, no, sir. Your pardon, sir. No, no. [clears throat] I have a cold.

Discretion being the better part of vanity.

[grunting]

[Porthos] I don't understand. I know the one about valor,

but I don't agree.

I can't agree to be discreet on how valiant I am. Shouldn't be asked.

It's a very clean sword thrust.

A souvenir from the Cardinal's guards, eh, Monsieur Athos?

You're a liar. It's the smallpox.

Of course, one sees that immediately. I mean...

Don't pretend you know one from the other or it'd make any difference

to your treatment if you did.

- Monsieur Treville will see you now! - Ah!

Thank you.

♪ [stately orchestral]

Oh...

Your father says that you carry his old sword, Monsieur D'Artagnan.

Yes.

[clears his throat]

Oh.

Do me the honor of taking one on loan until yours grows longer.

Sir, I ask charity of no one.

Then you aren't likely to get it, are you, young man?

No, not charity. Love and courtesy for the son of an old friend.

To keep his enemies and, in short, to... further off.

In that case, sir...

I do thank you.

That is as much as I can offer you.

You see, there is no place in the Musketeers for any man

until he has served in a campaign

or otherwise distinguished himself in the killing.

But, uh, what I can do is write a letter to Monsieur de Salle,

who commands the guards. [chuckles] I'm certain he'll place you...

- [Treville continues] - You! You coward! I spit on youl!

What?

Oh, not on you, sir.

On that fellow, without the eye!

You, sir! I said stop, sir!

[yells]

[thud]

Oh...

- Excuse me, I'm in a hurry! - You're certainly in a hurry, young man.

You hurtle into me and expect an excuse is sufficient?

You need a lesson in manners.

I said "excuse me."

I need no lesson in manners.

You shall have one anyway.

Where?

The Carmelite convent, at twelve.

Oh!

- Gold all the way round? - Stop!

- Pardon, sir, I was running. - You run with your eyes shut!

- Sir, I begged your pardon. - You will come to grief, young sir.

- Where? - At the Luxembourg, one o'clock.

I'll kill you indeed. [coughs]

Oh, look! On the scaffolding.

Oh! Forgive me, gentlemen.

Oh, your pardon, sir. You... You dropped this.

Gold from a passing fancy? Most discreet, Aramis.

The purse is not mine, sir, nor did I drop it.

Oh, your pardon, sir, I saw it fall.

You see a deal too much, sir. It is a fault among country-bred people.

- I am a Gascon, sir. - And need to learn civilized behavior.

Well, I am no bully and as an intended priest, I fight only when I must.

But you have compromised a lady.

Shall we say the Hotel Treville, at two o'clock?

Sir!

Sir, your purse!

Oh, well, if I'm to be Killed,

at least it'll be by a Musketeer.

[bell tolling]

You're prompt, sir.

Even though you're not running.

[grunts]

[exhales sharply]

But you did hurt my shoulder.

I trust it will not inconvenience you, sir?

If you wish to postpone our meeting...

By no means. I fight just as well with my left hand.

If you find this places you at a disadvantage, I do apologize.

You're very courteous, sir.

I was going to add, about your wound, I have an ointment of my mother's

you might find soothing.

Hmm?

You overwhelm me, young man.

[Porthos] It's too late for breakfast. I'm going to give up dueling.

Ah, here come my seconds.

Are you fighting this, uh, fellow?

- But I'm meeting him myself. - But not till one o'clock, sir.

Oh, no, no, no, I'm to fight him this afternoon.

- At two o'clock, sir. - How long have you been in Paris?

Since eight o'clock this morning.

You waste little time, sir.

My father recommended that I fight duels.

[chuckles]

Well, let us hope you can do him some credit, hmm?

[clears throat loudly]

- The Cardinal's guards! - Sheathe, gentlemen, quickly!

Ah, Musketeers!

Dueling in defiance of the edicts.

This is a private matter, sir. Would you please be on your way?

We have a duty to suppress disorder and arrest brawlers.

Put up your swords and come along with us?

Impossible.

Unthinkable.

Unlikely.

Hmm. Then we must charge you.

[whistles]

They are six of them and we are only three.

No... four.

You are not one of us.

This is not your affair, boy.

I may not have the tunic, but I have the heart of a Musketeer.

Young man, you may retire. Save your skin, and quickly.

- What is your name, young sir? - D'Artagnan.

Well, then,

Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and D'Artagnan.

- Forward! - [yelling]

Ha, hal

First, let us pray.

Gentle Jesus, meek and mild!

[yells]

May 17?

[blades clashing, grunting]

Sorry.

[shouts]

- Ah! - Sword!

For God's sake, sir!

Look out!

Thank you.

Aha!

[shouting]

[yells]

[Cardinal guard groaning]

[groans]

Ah!

D'Artagnan!

[grunts]

[D'Artagnan] No!

[D'Artagnan laughs]

No! Leave him to me!

[both groaning]

- [D'Artagnan yells] - [Porthos] Put down your sword, sir!

- No! - What?

Surrender, Biscari! I order you.

Oh, that's different.

Hell, man, ring the bell and the nuns will attend to your wounded.

[Athos] Come, gentlemen, the sooner we're off, the better.

Yes, yes! [laughs] It was over too soon.

God's blood!

Look at that best Flemish velvet!

Ruined by you and your street-corner ruffians!

Well, by God, you'll pay for it! Ten pistoles it cost me!

No, 20, 20 pistoles and 20 more as a fine, to teach you manners!

- [laughs] Your sack! - Thief!

- What? - There, there.

Charity is one of the cardinal virtues, remember?

- Aha! - [laughter]

[Athos] Are we going to stand here and chat

until the provost marshal comes for us?

- Let us begone, gentlemen, I tell you. - [Aramis] Let's be off.

Oh, sir, about your friend's wounds.

I have an ointment in here of my mother's

which, well, you might find most effective.

[Porthos] I threw my sword in the air and as he looked up...

[Athos] Porthos! Porthos!

The purse, if you please, sir.

The Musketeers motto, young man, is "One for all and all for one."

Which, loosely translated, means ten for him,

ten for him, ten for you, and ten for me.

My dear Aramis needs ten to impress his latest mistress.

My good Porthos needs ten to enable himself to dress decently.

[Porthos] What?

And you need ten for lodgings and a servant, I would suggest.

- And I... - [D'Artagnan] And you?

I need a drink. You will find, young man,

that the future looks rosier through the bottom of a glass.

[lively music and chattering]

[dog barking]

[inaudible dialogue]

[woman groaning, mumbling]

[dentist] Oh, not to worry, dear. You've seen this before.

In they go and out they come!

[bell ringing, children shouting]

[woman groaning]

Mind where...

Great.

This is a horse? Hmm.

This is the staircase.

I think you'll like it here, monsieur. For only two francs a day,

this chamber, most scrubbed...

and scrupulously clean, as you'll observe.

Slopped empty every second day, eh? [chuckles]

And will all be done at a modest fee.

Now-- Ah!

Your rascal can sleep out there.

And when Monsieur beats him for insolence,

his screams will scarce be heard.

Oh, no, monsieur, they don't fall off trees,

chambers like these in Paris.

Where else would you get such a magnificent view of the city?

Oh.

Quite so, Monsieur Bonacieux.

Permit me to observe that this pigsty you call a room is not fit for...

♪ [orchestral flourish]

...a King or a cardinal, but it will suit me very well.

Two francs, you say?

- You'll take it? - [D'Artagnan] Whenever it's offered.

Ah!

Madame Bonacieux, my wife, monsieur.

- Is she not beautiful? - Enchanting.

Thank you.

She is as... as delicate as petals falling...

[shouts] From afar!

[chuckles]

Of course, you know that my wife is the dressmaker to the Queen.

A very nice person, the Queen. My wife has her every confidence.

Yes, I am... I am very proud of being her husband.

And, uh, she lives here?

No, I live here.

My beautiful Constance stays at the palace. I mean, where else?

But she visits me once a week.

Tonight, in fact.

Madame must look forward to that eagerly.

[gulps]

Yes.

[objects crashing loudly]

♪ [stately orchestral]

[women giggling]

[Queen] Faster!

Oh, faster, you dolts!

Oh, come on! Somebody, make them go faster!

Whip them.

Oh, it's wonderful! This is absolutely wonderful.

I feel like... I feel sick.

Uh, queen to king's knight four.

Hmm! Queen to king's knight four!

Ah. Mm.

[whistles]

[small monkeys screeching]

[dog barking]

Your ruffians, Treville, have spiked five of the Cardinal's guards.

- Your Musketeers, Your Majesty. - Your ruffians.

Knight to king's bishop five.

[servant] Knight to king's bishop five!

I am hard put to explain it to him, who guards France while I sleep,

who labors unceasingly while I amuse myself.

- Your Majesty refers to God? - I refer to Cardinal Richelieu,

which is not quite the same thing.

Ah, Cardinal.

This matter of, uh, Treville's Musketeers...

Broken heads and broken swords.

Trifles, sire. The Duke of Buckingham is in Paris.

Buckingham? Here? Why, in God's name?

- Ah, to plot against my honor? - The Queen.

- You will arrest the plotter. - Sire, you are wrong.

The Queen is faithful to you and to France.

She loves Your Majesty far too warmly.

I'm not scorched by the heat. You arrest him.

Oh, what a scandal should we do that? Arrest the Prime Minister of England?

No, sire. What we must do is keep the noble Duke on a string,

to pursue his sordid pacts with Protestants,

his politics muffled in a cloak.

And the Queen muffled in her cloak, under a window?

Her Majesty's beauty attracts all manner of worship...

and worshippers.

But her virtue is beyond question.

As for the Duke of Buckingham, he will be watched.

Hmm!

Bishop to queen two.

[servant] Bishop to queen two!

[dog whining]

- Bishop to queen two! - Not now!

[dogs barking, monkeys screeching]

Check.

[dogs barking, monkeys screeching]

[man shouting]

[man snoring]

That one.

- [banging] - [guard] Open up!

Open up now!

- [banging] - Right, we'll break it down!

[groans]

- There's someone coming! - Oh! Oh!

- Don't worry, Constance! - Oh, darling!

I have a weapon here.

Ha-ha-ha!

[pistol clicks]

Oh! No. No!

No! Help! No!

Oh, no!

- You will come with me. - Oh, no, I won't.

Oh, no, I won't.

We'll see about that.

[Constance whimpering]

[Bonacieux chuckles] We'll see about that.

- You will come with me. - Yes, I...

Yes, I... I'll come with you.

[Bonacieux muttering]

Wait a minute, my slippers. I need...

[Bonacieux speaking nearby]

Tell the Cardinal I'm sorry. Tell him I'm very, very sorry.

[water drips]

I have never done any wrong. I...

[groans]

What are you doing to my wife?

- Stop her! Stop her! - [Bonacieux] What? What is happening?

What have you done with my wife?

Constance!

[Constance] Oh!

[man] Put some clothes on, you saucy bitch!

[dog barking nearby]

Hmm.

[bell tolling]

[chickens clucking]

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh, Monsieur D'Artagnan!

- l want you. - Oh, I'm yours, madam,

as soon as I get my breath back.

Oh.

- Did I hurt you? - Did they hurt you?

Monsieur, I must get to the Queen tonight.

I cannot allow it.

- l was torn from my bed. - Oh, the best place for you, bed.

Bed's the best place for you, little one.

Look, collapse a little more.

Oh, thank you, monsieur. Oh! My husband.

Where?

- In the Bastille. - Oh.

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry to hear about it.

Now, the best possible course is a good night's sleep.

- Try to forget about it. - Yes.

I cannot sleep with my husband in the Bastille.

- I'm frightened. - Oh, well, I'm not.

You ought to sleep with me.

You need a good cuddle, chase the frights away.

Monsieur, I must go to Her Majesty. She needs me urgently.

I cannot let you go. The streets are full of danger,

and your legs and feet are dirty.

Oh.

Yes.

Oh, monsieur, you must help me.

You are young and gallant, and my husband is just a weak man

troubled with wind.

Can I tell you?

- Can I trust you? - Oh.

With your life, which beats in your breast.

I hear it, the flutter of life like a little white bird.

They seek to harm the Queen through me.

I can hear the wings.

The Cardinal wishes her ruin. Because I'm in the Queen's confidence,

perhaps he hopes to attack her through me.

You cannot go to the Queen with dirty legs.

Oh, no.

Are you strong enough to wash them?

No.

Oh, my poor husband.

[sighs] Without him I feel so helpless.

I have never washed the legs of a woman.

I have done a horse. With a horse, you start at the top.

- I cannot go dirty to the Queen. - Mm.

Do you think I will be safe here?

Oh, yes, Constance, yes.

♪ [dramatic orchestral]

- [D'Artagnan] Mm. Oh! - [Constance] Sorry.

[D'Artagnan] Oh...

[Constance giggling] Oh! Will we not be a little cold?

At least let me escort you part of the way!

No, I must go alone.

I have to meet someone before I go to the Queen.

Who?

Are you jealous so soon?

Of every inch of you.

Oh.

I must go now. Promise you won't follow.

[shouts]

[thunder rumbling]

Money for a blind man.

Whoa! Watch where you're going, darling.

All right, dear. [clears throat]

Money for a cripple. Money for a cripple.

- Money for a cripple. - [dog snarling]

Get off! Go on!

Money for a cripple. Money for a cripple.

- Me? It's not your day, is it? - Money for an orphan!

Money for a war veteran.

Money for a war veteran.

- Give it here. - Shh!

Money for a war veteran.

- [thunder crashes] - [inaudible dialogue]

Money for a war veteran.

[Buckingham] You should not complain about the English so.

[bell tinkles]

[man] Money. Money.

Money-- 'Ere, before you go, sir.

- Money for an exploited neighbor, sir. - [D'Artagnan straining]

I say, sir, before you climb...

Sir, have you got--? You wouldn't have any odd change in...?

[ladder creaking]

One moment, sir, if you please.

But you promised.

Yes, and I can see now why you made me promise.

You have nothing to do with me, sir.

No, but I have something to do with this lady.

Take my arm, madame. Good evening, sir.

In God's name, My Lord.

My Lord?

Are you...

[Constance] The Duke of Buckingham.

Now do you see? You can spoil everything.

Oh, my... My darling, forgive me. I...

Oh, My Lord, what can I say? l... I love her and I was jealous.

A perfectly excellent reason for attacking a stranger in the dark.

Would you oblige me in a small matter, sir?

- Anything, My Lord. - Madame and I are going to the palace.

We must not be seen.

If anyone should try to follow us,

would you be good enough to kill him? Thank you.

Oh, yes!

Yes.

Does Your Grace know of any private place which is as private as this public one?

- Well, I... - Wait here.

What?

♪ [slow orchestral]

Anne.

- Why have you come? - To see you.

Oh, it is folly.

The King suspects and the Cardinal knows, and he'll ruin me if he can.

His spies are... What if we're caught here?

Decidedly we must not be found, not where the dirty laundry is washed.

Oh, but it's hopeless. I'm the wife of the King.

An ill-mannered little Parisian lout who ignores you

and is jealous of you at the same time?

What do you owe to him?

I owe it to him not to disgrace him.

Which is why I ask you to go and... and not to return.

- Oh, my dear, we are not ordinary folk. - Indeed not.

That is the point and it thrusts both ways.

I am no little gentleman or farm boy.

I'm the master of a great state, Anne.

With great ships and armies too, if need be.

We English have come to France before,

but never with better reason than I have.

Do you think I would fret for a war to win you?

If you doubt it, wait till France's Protestant rebels

call to the English for help.

Dear, dear Anne.

Do you know, you look lovelier than...

Than anything I've seen in a laundry before.

[Buckingham chuckles]

Come, tell me again that you love me.

You must go.

It's not safe here.

It will be one day.

Until then...

give me something to remember you by.

A token, anything.

Oh, come, a farm boy's sweetheart would give him one.

[Anne] These are my best things.

Within the year I will bring them back to you.

[women chattering]

So that's how they do it!

I had no notion. I shall wear my shirts in future with more respect.

♪ [tense orchestral]

Oh, God!

[Buckingham] Go on! Quickly!

[guard] You, sir, stand still!

[shouting]

[guard shouts]

Right, in here! In there!

There he is!

Excuse me!

[Porthos] Oh, please tell me where we're going. I...

Aha!

Dance, you little rabbit! I'm not through with you! Come here!

[woman screaming]

[women screaming]

Yaa-haal!

Ow!

My Lord, may 1?

Oh, thank you.

Come on!

Come on!

[grunts]

[shouts]

Oh, my hair.

I probably could've managed, but my thanks to you gentlemen, anyway.

Who was that?

I don't know.

But he sounded a touch foreign to me.

- Yes. - Didn't he?

- Huh? - Yeah.

[woman] Look at this. It's in a state!

- What on earth was all that about? - I don't know.

- [jailer] In you go. - [Bonacieux] Why won't you tell me?

I did nothing at all! I was lying in bed!

I was alone in bed with my wife when this man breaks into my room!

I swear I've done nothing, nothing! What will they do to me?

Everything. You are in the Bastille. You must have done something.

I haven't done anything.

[Richelieu] What you have done is high treason.

Oh!

You are accused of conspiring with your wife and the Duke of Buckingham.

No, no, no!

Do you know your accuser?

Who brought you here?

That! That is the man!

- [Cardinal] Take him away. - That is not the man!

It was another man altogether. This is a very honorable gentleman.

I tell you, it's not this man, I tell you.

[Bonacieux muttering]

They have met, the Queen and Buckingham.

- Where? - At the palace.

I learned of this when it was too late.

You mean he slipped through your fingers?

In fact, through Your Eminence's fingers. I had no orders.

What happened?

The woman Bonacieux took Buckingham to the palace.

The woman Bonacieux? I thought I told you to arrest her and to hold her.

I failed. One does occasionally.

If I blundered as you do, my head would fall.

I would say, from a greater height than mine, Eminence.

You would?

- The height of vaulting ambition. - You have none?

No.

Do you fear me, Rochefort?

Yes, I fear you, Eminence.

I also hate you.

I love you, my son, even when you fail.

I do know the Queen gave Buckingham the 12 diamond studs

that the King presented to the Queen on her last birthday.

Where Buckingham went after that, Eminence, I do not know.

Spare me a recitation of all the things you do not know

or Buckingham will be in Calais before you're done.

- [man] Morning, Your Grace. - We'll let him go for the present.

[Bonacieux groaning] No!

No!

Not like this! [whimpering, muttering]

Oh, no, please, no!

No more!

No! It hurts!

[man chuckles] It's supposed to.

You have deceived me!

[groaning]

Deceived me...

into thinking that you were a traitor. Rise, my friend.

Monsieur Bonacieux, what am I to say?

I find that our suspicions about you were entirely unjust.

The Cardinal has taken my hand and called me "friend."

Oh, we must make you better amends than that.

Take these 100 pistoles and forgive me.

I, forgive Your Eminence?

You cannot mean that. I mean, what am 1? I am nothing.

No better, I am... I am less than nothing.

[sizzling]

Friend, you are generous.

Well, then...

Adieu.

Or better still, au revoir.

For I hope that you will come to visit me again so that we can talk together.

Until our next meeting.

[Bonacieux] Did you hear that? We're going to talk together.

Isn't that lovely? Did you hear that, fellas?

I think I have done all that can be done with him.

I have set him to spy upon his wife.

He didn't think I was frightened of him, did he?

The gallant Buckingham will most certainly wear those diamond studs.

Send word to Milady de Winter in England.

She is to get close to him and obtain two of the studs.

You go there to meet her. See that she brings them to me immediately.

How she gets them is her affair.

[lively music and chattering]

[crowd clamoring]

You'll like this place. It's very cheap.

[Porthos] Wait a minute. I can win some money for us.

Ah, he's the one! He's the one!

The fellow in red, he'll win! He'll reach the basket! [laughs]

Oh, come on, come on, dear boy, come on!

But that's not going to leave us enough to pay for dinner.

You stay and collect the winnings. I'll go in and order.

He's the one!

I'm starved.

- There you are, sunshine, whose bet?

[innkeeper] What about some chicken? That's always popular on a Wednesday.

[man] It's Tuesday.

- [innkeeper] Um, chops, sir? - Oh, no, no, no, quite revolting!

What about half a side of beef or something really worth...

- Tell him to cook this, will you, hmm? - Oh.

[Porthos sighs, clears throat]

You great overgrown child!

Why, you...

♪ [jovial orchestral]

No, Porthos, don't!

You fathead swine!

- Porthos, ready? - You popinjay!

Come back, you ruddy...

Take that, you lump!

- Hey! - What...?

Oh! Oh! Ooh!

[innkeeper] I know what you're doing. I know you lot.

I know what you're doing. Oi! Oi!

[innkeeper shouts]

[D'Artagnan] All right?

This should cover the inconvenience, sir.

Thank you.

♪ [jovial orchestral]

All salt!

[contented groans]

♪ [peaceful classical]

[hawk calling]

[pigeon shrieks]

[laughing]

[pigeon shrieks]

[pigeon shrieks]

[Queen] Oh, look at its feathers!

Did you hear it cry?

[whispering inaudibly]

Did you hear, madam? His Eminence wants to see you dance.

He suggests that I give a ball in your honor.

Would that please you?

What pleases Your Majesty is a delight to me.

So, at the Hétel de Ville then in two weeks' time.

We shall be merry. A ball, a ballet, and costumes,

and frippery, and whatnot.

Ah, yes, and you will be able to wear the diamond studs I gave you.

That will crown Her Majesty's evening.

- The diamond studs? - Yes.

The studs, my present to you. Why not?

Do you not think they are becoming?

Yes.

- Yes, sire, they're beautiful. - Yes, well, I wish them worn, then.

I wish you to wear them. I depend upon it, madame.

This bird has got such a grip on me.

He's brought tears to my eyes. Came back into my wrist.

See the tears? Oh.

Oh, we're doing a ball. We're wearing diamond studs.

You want to see the Queen dance? [chuckles]

You're becoming a romantic under your priestly sackcloth and ashen face.

Even a Cardinal has weaknesses, Majesty.

Whereas a king has none, eh? See the tears?

The following conversation took place

in the bedchamber of Madame Bonacieux at the palace.

The Queen said, "I am lost, I am lost."

Bonacieux said, "Majesty." "Constance, I am lost."

- Majesty. - What can I do, Constance?

We can get the studs back. Lord Buckingham...

In 14 days, from London? I am lost.

"Majesty, in 14 days, a messenger can reach London

and return to Paris with the studs and..."

A messenger? Who? I can trust no one. That devil has informers everywhere.

That evil, filthy, revolting, wretched man. Evil, filthy...

"revolting, evil man, calls himself a man of the Church."

[clears throat] Uh, according to this.

I will find a messenger, Majesty.

A trusted one, I swear it.

He can carry a letter from you to Lord Buckingham.

Yes. Yes, a letter.

I shall write.

It's for my honor and for my life.

- You have someone you can trust with that? - Majesty, he will not fail--

[both] Oh!

It's for the Queen. She's in terrible danger,

unless this letter can be taken immediately to London.

If you could set out at once...

She has no one to trust but me, and I can trust no one but you.

Oh, letters, dangers!

Come to bed, Constance, my small chicken.

- And I'll... [clucking] - [Constance laughs]

Oh, I'll do anything you ask if you promise to take the letter.

Oh, what do I know about letters, my beautiful Constance?

I've been away from you so many days and so many nights--

- No, I'm serious! - You think I'm not?

The letter must go to London now.

Oh, it must because you say so.

Well, I don't wish to be trusted, me, and I'll tell you for why.

Because that so very suspicious letter smacks of intrigue.

Oh.

Constance, Constance!

Yes, intrigue.

And very much the intrigues of your Queen have done for you!

Assaulted, terrified, and me dragged to the Bastille!

The Bastille. Well, I tell you, I don't wish to be sent to the Bastille, me.

Because it's got very deep dungeons and terrible instruments of torture,

operated by very unsympathetic men.

And they snip very important parts off people.

Sacré bleu! If it hadn't been for the Cardinal...

- The Cardinal? - Yes, the Cardinal.

You think you alone have friends in high places. Well, let me tell you then.

The Cardinal took my hand and he called me friend, and...

And he gave me... this purse.

- You have seen the Cardinal? - Yes, he wishes to talk with me again.

And I'll tell you something else, my Lady,

he doesn't much go on this type of intrigue.

Ah.

Tell me, to whom does that letter go?

It's nothing to you if you do not wish to carry it.

Very well, Madam Mischief.

If you don't wish to go to bed with me, I shall have to leave you

for a very important appointment.

A very important appointment!

[door closes]

[sighs]

- Oh, you! - Me.

- Then you heard? - Every word.

Ah, then you know.

Only that you and the Queen need the services of a gentleman who is gallant,

courageous, discreet, active, brilliant, loyal.

I also know the way to London.

And your good husband, who's probably on his way to the Cardinal

at this moment, has thoughtfully provided my expenses.

But can I trust you?

Trust me?

Trust me? Oh, the question.

You can trust me because I love you.

And you love me. Or if you do not, there's something wrong with you.

You must swear never to reveal the name of the person to whom it goes.

On my honor.

His name is the Duke of Buckingham.

[Bonacieux] This way, sir!

He moves quickly, that husband of yours!

Ooh, hurry.

[Bonacieux speaking indistinctly nearby]

[Bonacieux] Right, open all the time.

Constance!

Constance!

She's gone.

As you might have known she would, imbecile.

- Had you not the wit to accept the letter? - Ah, the letter.

She has doubtless fled to the palace to her mistress.

There's no one here, sir, but the candle's still warm.

Well, then take the streets to the palace then, and quickly.

She can't be gone far.

This letter, has your wife mentioned...

- the Duke of Buckingham? - No, monsieur, no names.

[D'Artagnan exhales]

This fellow D'Artagnan, he lodges with you, does he not?

Hmm.

We shall find a cold lodging for Monsieur D'Artagnan and his friends,

as a precaution.

[groans quietly]

In the Bastille.

And afterwards?

In the Bastille there is no "afterwards."

[Constance sighs, then both gasp]

What?

Now, that man in his time has insulted me, broken my father's sword,

had me clubbed to the ground, laid violent hands on the woman I love...

[kissing sounds]

He is... inconvenient.

Let me tell you something about this "inconvenient" gentleman of yours.

His name is Rochefort.

He's the Cardinal's living blade and he's deadly.

Will you run, you great big, lumbering bullock?!

[cheering]

[man] 15-love.

Fifteen more.

Yours, Porthos!

- Come on! - That's better, Aramis!

Go on!

[cheering and applause]

- Deuce! - 15-all.

Mine! Mine!

[cheering]

You idiots!

[man] 30-15.

And as for Rochefort,

if you see him walking on the other side of the road one day,

don't bother to cross over, that's all.

Aramis! [shouts indistinctly]

[audience laughing and cheering]

[man] Your only chance!

Thrill for the gallery.

Well, Rochefort or no Rochefort, I have to get to London with this letter.

It's on the Queen's business

and I have to be there and back with an answer within 14 days.

With Cardinal's friends hunting you, you won't get five miles.

[man] Game and final set.

Pure luck.

- So you want this letter delivered? - Mm.

Well, if the four of us go, it should get there, shouldn't it?

Oh! Thank you.

There goes tomorrow's dinner, sir.

I'd rather wager on a Huguenot for the Papacy than gamble on you two.

Now get your things. We're riding to London.

London?

Great lumbering bullock indeed?

Your soul has been corrupted.

You shall not inherit the Kingdom of God.

- When do we leave? - At once.

- Planchet will get our horses. - We take no other servants.

A gentleman may reveal his secrets by accident.

A servant invariably sells them.

Oh, and another thing, whilst we're on this road,

if one of us goes down, the other three go on with the letter.

The one who falls takes his chance, agreed?

May one ask, delicately, the cause in which we're being expected to die?

When we go on a campaign, does the King give us reason?

- He says, "Porthos, fight," and you fight. - I do, I do.

Then let's go and be killed where we're told to.

- Is life worth so many questions? - No, no, no.

♪ [lively orchestral]

[man playing pipes]

[Porthos chuckles] Ah, careful of that bridle, boy!

The Duchess of Tenby paid more than your year's wages for the snaffle alone.

- Pure silver, you see. - I'll go, sir.

- God be with you, sir! - Oh!

And you, too, sir, on this fine morning.

- [drunkenly] Will you drink a toast, sir? - With pleasure, sir.

Will you drink to the health of the Cardinal?

Gladly, sir, if you will then join me in a toast to the King.

I recognize no King but the Cardinal.

[chuckles] Oh, you're drunk, sir.

There's only one answer for that.

You will pay for it now, sir, if you please.

This is sheer folly.

Kill the fellow and follow us as soon as you can, will you?

Oh.

[whistling]

[shouting]

Come on, come on, come on! [laughs]

We're already down to three.

Oh, Porthos will take him out. The fellow's a drunk.

He looked sober enough when he came en guard.

[pipes blare]

[Porthos chuckles] Ooh!

Oh! [groans]

[Porthos yells]

Damn you. Look. Ruined!

♪ [lively orchestral]

[Athos] Ride! On, on!

[horse whinnies]

[man yells]

[yells]

[yells]

[groans]

Get away! Ride out!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on.

Mm?

Drop it!

[grunts]

The same fate awaits us perhaps ten miles hence.

But at least we shall be safe enough till then. Forward.

[man] Now!

[indistinct chatter and laughter]

Treason... treason it may be,

but I will maintain the beauty of French women above all others.

Ah! Well, one can never really believe an Englishman, can one?

[both laughing]

Oh, go to bed, Felton!

His long Puritan face, him mumping at bedtime!

[both laughing]

- Can I forgive a man that? - [countess] No!

[countess] Oh!

Yes, I can carry you to England, sir.

But only if you have a pass from the Cardinal.

[Rochefort] I have a pass.

The order came through this morning that no one must leave

without the counter-signature of the Burgermeister of Saint Amand.

Very well, I'll be back in one hour, but be ready to sail,

and keep a close watch for enemies of the state who are trying to escape.

[crickets chirping, footsteps]

You are in a position to do me a favor, sir.

That pass you have in your pocket.

If you'll hand it over to me now, it will save us all a great deal of inconvenience.

You were the Gascon rascal with the yellow horse,

who brawls on street corners with the Musketeers.

Street corners you've been careful to avoid, Monsieur Cyclops.

Where are your three accomplices?

They would have done better to...

It's me! It's me! It's me!

[both shouting]

[shouts]

[twig snaps]

[gasps, then groans]

No.

Oh.

[grunting]

Don't worry, sir. I'm coming.

[shouts]

[groans]

[yells]

Coming!

[grunts]

Oh! I told you.

Monsieur, are you killed?

Not quite.

It's just a scrape along the ribs.

Oh, Father, what you almost did to your son.

Is he dead?

[Rochefort groans]

Alas, monsieur, no, he's only stunned. Shall I kill him?

Certainly not. Just tie his wrists and gag him.

We'll give him the chance of bleeding to death, but we'll not murder him.

- But this pass is only for one person. - l am only one person.

That is a servant.

I see. All right.

♪ [triumphant orchestral]

[Planchet groaning]

You... you all right?

Look, Planchet, look! Dover!

Oh.

[seagulls squawking]

[men shouting]

All right, he's mine. Leave him to me. Come on, sir, come on.

Oh!

[hunting horns blowing]

[distant gunshots]

[chattering]

[D'Artagnan] My Lord!

[panting]

So, it's the jealous lover.

I trust you haven't come to England to fasten another quarrel on me?

I'm afraid I cannot read.

- How long have you been on the road? - Six days, My Lord.

Then, sir, we must bustle!

[D'Artagnan] Come on, Planchet, we must bustle.

[Planchet] Oh, good. I like bustling.

Come, sir! At the gallop!

♪ [lively orchestral]

One, two, three, four,

five, six...

[Buckingham] Yes, sir.

She is my deity.

Here they are.

I had hoped to keep them always.

God in heaven, there are two of them missing!

- Missing? What? - Be quiet, sir, let me think.

I had all 12 of them at the ball two weeks ago...

The Countess de Winter.

By God!

There's a pretty price to pay for infidelity.

She could be in France by now!

Felton!

- [D'Artagnan] They have been stolen? - By a Cardinal's spy! French trollop!

Felton, my secretary! I want an order writ.

Someone with a pen! Ah, thank you.

Write an order and send it to the Channel ports.

No vessel is to sail without my written leave!

If the King asks any questions, tell him I'm...

thinking of war with France. And keep the road to Dover clear!

Six days here, eh?

You shall kill yourself to return these studs to the Queen in time, sir.

- But... But the missing ones, My Lord? - O'Reilly.

Put a price on these, each one, their worth.

Oh. Uh...

Um... Oh, they're not English?

They're not English, no?

I'd say, uh...

Oh, uh, I'd say £500.

How long to make two of them?

Oh, uh... Um...

Ooh, uh, a week?

I'll pay you £5,000 each if they're finished the day after tomorrow.

Done. Could I send word to my wife that I won't be coming home?

I'll do better. Jackson, a carriage and escort of cavalry for Mistress O'Reilly.

- Prepare rooms for her. - Ooh. [mumbles]

♪ [slow orchestral]

- Have you hurt yourself? - It's, uh, nothing.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Would it be a compliment to say that they match your eyes?

Unusual gallantry.

Your normal humor would be to compare them to my heart.

It did occur to me.

Up Cardinal... down Queen.

[Bonacieux] Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! [muttering]

Whip her, man!

[Buckingham] There, sir. Pick out O'Reilly's two new ones if you can.

And now, for the honor of the great lady whom we both serve,

it is for you to see that she receives them in time.

- My Lord, it is done already. - And you, sir.

How can I ever repay you?

My Lord, let us understand one another.

You are an Englishman and an enemy of France.

You owe me no debt. What I have done, I have done for the Queen.

And for another who's as dear to me as the Queen is to you.

I take my leave of Your Grace.

[clears throat]

Your Grace's pardon.

I had forgotten, England is an island. How do I... get off?

You will find fresh horses and a clear road to Dover,

where there is a ship waiting.

Monsieur, you will take no reward from a friend.

Will you at least accept this?

And this, from an enemy.

That is different.

[Planchet] I'm tired!

[D'Artagnan] So am I, but we're almost there.

- [Planchet] But I'm sore! - Oh, come on, put your back into it!

[Planchet] I've put my bloody back into it! I've got piles!

♪ [dramatic orchestral]

- We need to get fresh horses. - Do you recognize this place?

No.

The last place on Earth we were all alive together.

- Until we meet again, my friends! - Hmm?

That won't be long.

[grunts]

[chickens clucking, dog barking]

[yells]

Porthos!

Aramis!

Help me out! Pull me out of here!

- [laughing] - The rope, Porthos! The rope, quickly!

[Athos shouting]

Quickly!

The horse!

- [Athos] Pull, will you? - Porthos, for God's sake, where are you?

Through the gate, man! Through the gate, quickly!

Hyah!

Ah, these poor beasts are done.

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Aha!

It's about time!

[yells]

[both grunting]

- Come on! - Show-off!

[D'Artagnan] Why are you always lagging behind?

Did you hear that voice?

That unfortunate accent!

- [Athos] All for one and one for all! - [Aramis chuckles]

♪ [lively orchestral]

My wife's in there, you know. She dances with all the best people.

And sometimes she waves at me. Sometimes she does.

[Bonacieux muttering]

♪ [stately fanfare]

I come here just to see her having a good time, you know.

[chattering]

Madam, why are you not wearing the diamond studs

when you knew I particularly wished to see them?

Majesty...

in this great crowd I feared I might lose them.

You were wrong.

I made you this present to... to adorn yourself.

Hmph!

I am highly displeased.

If Your Majesty pleases,

l... I can send to the palace for them.

Do so, and immediately.

[man 1] Keep going, Reggie. It's filling up.

- [Reggie] I'm doing my best. - Not good enough.

[man 1] He's coming over to me now.

[man 2] Not he's not, he's having one of mine.

Did he take...? Yes, he's eaten it.

- [King] Mm. - [man 2] Oh, yes.

He's touched me though.

Her Majesty was radiantly pale, I thought, sire.

Mm. Mm.

May I respectfully direct Your Majesty's attention to the sweetmeats in this box?

I feel sure you will agree, they are a royal confection.

[music box playing melody]

Only if the Queen has her studs, which I very much doubt,

count them, sire.

If you should find only ten,

ask Her Majesty what can possibly have happened to the other two.

[sniffs] Hmm.

I told you, no one may enter without the proper invitation.

- It's the Cardinal's orders. - [mumbling]

I beg your pardon, sir?

- Doesn't matter. - [guard groaning]

Ah.

Ah!

Come on. That's it. Come on! Again!

Come on! Come on, that's it.

That's it. And again.

[horse whinnies]

Good boy. Yes.

Oh, madame, he may still come.

I feel sure he will.

How can he, Constance?

It's no use.

It's over. It's...

Oh!

[Porthos] Oh, oh, oh! I'm going to be sick!

Athos, kindly slow down! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

♪ [suspenseful orchestral]

- [pot shatters] - Hmm?

That has to be Constance.

Remember, light the fireworks when you hear the fanfare.

Right, sir.

Light the fireworks when you hear the fanfare.

[man] Yes, sir.

[plays fanfare]

[musicians play fanfare]

Oh!

[chattering]

Quickly.

[fireworks popping and squealing]

Oh!

- D'Artagnan! - What?

Oh!

- Mwah! - [Constance chuckles]

Oh.

[D'Artagnan] All right, Constance. I'm almost there.

- There! - Come on!

- Come on, come down! - Oh!

- Oh! - Look out!

[D'Artagnan] Sorry.

♪ [lively orchestral]

- [insects buzzing] - [man] Ow!

[Athos] Why are we stopping, gentlemen?

[buzzing, all groaning and shouting]

[whispering]

[man] I said to her, "Do it once more I'll punch you in the throat."

Look out, here she is now. She didn't hear, did she?

[musicians shouting]

- [Constance] Hurry! - Right. I am hurrying!

Oh!

Stand fast, boy!

[fireworks sizzling]

Oh!

Blast!

Oh.

Come on!

Oh!

Oh!

- Please. - [D'Artagnan] No!

[laughing]

[mumbling]

Hey! Hey!

[grunts]

[Porthos yells]

[Porthos] Ah, my old friend! [laughing]

There you are, young man. To the rescue, eh?

[grunts]

[yelling]

[D'Artagnan] Thank God, you're all alive!

Well done! Oh, how marvelous to see you.

- [Porthos] Lovely to see you. - Can you get me up there, please?

[Porthos] Come on!

- [D'Artagnan] It's good to see you. - You're supposed to climb up me!

[Constance shrieks]

- Wait a minute. Just a moment. - [all muttering]

[man] He's torn our carpet.

[shrieks]

[Constance chuckles]

[wine splashing]

[murmuring]

[man] Quickly, gentlemen! Places, places!

[band playing Baroque music]

Three, four, five... Silly me.

One, two, three, four...

One, two, three, four, five, six...

One, two, three, four... Stand still!

One... [groans]

Get off! Come, come! Come, come! Come, come, come!

[music stops]

Excuse me, please.

I thank you, madame, for observing my wishes.

But I believe you have lost two studs, and I bring them to you.

Sire, you bring me two more.

How kind of you. Now I shall have fourteen.

Hmm? Fourteen?

Thirteen, fourteen... What does this mean, Cardinal?

It means, sire, that...

I wished to present those two studs to Her Majesty,

and not daring myself to offer them,

I give them to her through you.

[Anna] I'm terribly grateful to Your Eminence.

For I'm certain that these two studs cost you much more than the other twelve

cost His Majesty.

Eminence, D'Artagnan gained entry to the hotel.

Quite so.

You failed me. I've lost.

I've lost the point. The game continues.

You will not seek him out, this boy who has outwitted you?

To what end? Vengeance? That is an expensive luxury.

Statesmen cannot afford it. No, I could use such a man.

Perhaps I shall seek him out after all.

Your Eminence is a great player, great enough to lose.

I do not like to lose.

You must suit yourself, Milady.

But if in the end you should, do it with a becoming grace.

Oh, my darling, darling, darling.

Never again will I let you go into such terrible danger.

Oh...

A gallop, a skirmish, a thrust or two, what would you.

It's a day's work.

But to find my beautiful Constance at the end...

- Did you miss me? - Oh...

[chuckles] A foolish question.

♪ [dramatic orchestral]

[crowd clamoring]

[drums beating]

♪ [dramatic orchestral]

I work for him.

Yes.

[Treville] Well, young Gascon, now you're a Musketeer.

[clears throat]

Carry the King's musket with honor, now that you are the Four Musketeers.

[crowd cheering]

Well done, sir! Well done.

Now we're four.

My... my boss. He's waving to you.

There we are. Don't drop it.

Good. What?

Oh, the King!

♪ [triumphant orchestral]

Oh!

♪ [stately orchestral]