Original subtitles

October 1997

- With or without glasses? - Without.

- Won't we get double chins? - Make us beautiful.

Center it.

One, two, three.

Anyway, Lorenzo's a real jerk.

Men are born elemental and die that way.

But Lorenzo's a super hunk!

Good as chocolate chip and sprinkles.

Perfect.

He's two-faced, I can't stand him.

"Two flavors are better than one!"

We didn't play hooky to talk about males, if Lorenzo can be defined a male.

He's an invertebrate.

We're women, adults,

and it's time to live.

I don't want to get like my mother.

I want more than a mortgage and a Saturday hair set.

What do you mean?

I mean if, in 20 years, you've become ladies,

I'll disown you!

Us, ladies?

You're the first to risk.

Who knows how we'll be in 20 years.

I'll be enormous.

I'm 18 and already feel old. At 40 I'll do a total makeover!

I want to die first.

I don't want to lose you all.

Swear, even in 20 years, we'll all be there for each other.

For me, you'll always be there.

- Always. - Always.

- What? - Always!

- What? - Always!

- Because we... - Know no fear!

It's a gliding flight

That nails us to the wall

Like crucifixes

But how can I remember now

I'm no lady One with all the stars in life

I'm no lady...

About 20 years later

Only knowing your intimate part

can you discover yourself.

- Because you lie...- Lots.

Life Coach Ten Steps to Win Him Back

- How many times have you done it?Lots.

Remember, your vagina never lies.

I'm different now, a real actress, I feel heady on stage...

Still an aspiring actress

Mom, I'm moving to Dad's.

Where are you going?

- To Dad's. - The caveman!

To do what you like.

Excuse me a moment.

I'm sick of living here.

Photographer

Our vagina wants to live.

It wants to scream,

climax, laugh, live.

Let's let it soar. So, breathe in,

contract it and dilate it, excellent,

because our vagina is ageless!

Because our vagina is ageless!

All together! The vagina is ageless...

How dare you talk like that!

- Can't you see I'm in tryouts? - Good, do your tryout!

I'll slap your face! Sorry, I never use violence.

Sure.

You must learn to respect the rules

and realize that in life...

the trials never end, right?

At 40, I don't want to be like you.

"Hen Party" Chiara created this group

Chiara: Coming from San Francisco, getting married in a week!

I want a Hen Party with all of you!

Eleonora: You're pregnant? Who are you marrying against?

Vanessa: Marrying? Condolences! P.S. Never give birth!

Chiara: It's all organized for Friday!

It's mad but you've got to come!

See you at the Hotel St. Regis

Linda: Chiara, you're crazy!

Chiara: And Akiko?

Follower of Baba Yogi

I failed in everything,

even as a mother.

What a pain you are!

Stop kicking shit on yourself.

If Chiara were here, she'd slap you.

It's truth, not shit, and it can stink even more.

How long since Chiara's been around?

Seven years!

And Ele and Akiko? Will Akiko come?

I don't know, not even a text, nothing.

Where did I go wrong?

Why didn't my folks stay in Florence, in the cradle of the Renaissance?

- We'd never have met! - Could Chiara be pregnant?

- She'd have said so. - This marriage seems bizarre.

And at the St. Regis!

It's bizarre she made millions with bitcoin, isn't it?

How can everyone hack it with Internet and I get just my mother's texts?

“You were so cute as a child, what happened?”

Oh, no. I'm getting like Mom!

- Diet today? - Are you nuts? Today we drink!

- I must find a husband at this wedding. - Another?

But this time he has to be straight, handsome, rich and know that a woman

is worth her bra size.

HEN PARTY

Tell all.

My shrink says to stop talking and experience things.

So, who are you experiencing these things with.

No one special and anyway, it's already over.

- I see, Pinkie! - As if a dick were everything!

It is everything!

- Got a picture? - If you mean a picture of his dick, no.

- How vulgar! I meant features. - Sure, features....

I bet Akiko's not coming, we'll be lucky if there are three of us.

Hello.

We're Linda Di Matteo and Vanessa Curti, Chiara Gentile is expecting us.

Yes, let me check.

Ms. Gentile has booked a suite for you.

- A suite? - The Royal Suite.

I'm in my element!

You're awaited in the garden.

Enjoy your stay.

Cute.

- Is that Akiko? - She brought a pig?

Akiko, it's nice to see you.

- The little guy? - Puja, she's a female.

I love pigs too.

I saved her from slaughter.

You could have sent a voice mail saying you'd bring company.

I know, forgive me.

I came because I care for you all.

My feelings are sincere, authentic, antique.

But don't ask me to stay, Hen Parties make me sad!

Drunken women talking about organ sizes,

cheating, lost chances, then at a certain point, who comes?

- Who? - The male stripper!

- God willing! - See?

As a woman, I find it all deeply humiliating.

Puja, come on.

Splendid!

Wow!

A spread!

How chic!

Can you feel it too?

I feel...

a negative energy in this room.

I feel rich here, so, I'm in the right place.

The power of bitcoins, I love it!

The blessing of Baba Yogi is needed to free this room from negativity.

Huh? Come!

She seems disconnected.

- It's really, really serious. - And in pajamas.

- She's scary! - What's she doing?

- Look, her eyes are white. - It's freaky.

She's a lot worse.

- A drink? - I don't drink.

I do, or things lump and come back up.

- It's champagne. - Good.

- I thought she might stand us up. - Eleonora makes us wait, like the bride.

- It's darling here. - Only the four of us.

- Three, I'm not staying. - You can never guess.

What?

I went to the garage for my Mini convertible.

The place was empty, just a sleeping German shepherd,

when a garage kid came, he must have been...

- 25? - 20?

Tall, broad shoulders,

dark eyes, a black ponytail

and a tiger tattooed on his chest.

- A hick. - El Tigre.

El Tigre...

The Prince Charming of the forest, oily, dirty,

his hands all greasy.

He says: "Ma'am, the car's not ready".

I say: "I'm meeting my girlfriends, now what?"

He says: "Ma'am, want me to take you there?"

Kind of him.

We locked gazes, like hungry animals.

He grabbed my waist and slammed me to the hood.

My 4,500-euro Ferragamo ostrich purse flew to the ground.

- Poor Ferragamo! - Poor ostrich!

He undid my 430-euro Missoni blouse

and two jewel buttons tore off.

He raised my 450-euro Prada skirt, the zipper broke.

- Unfortunate. - He tore off my bra...

- Flea market? - No, La Perla!

- I think: "Now I'm pissed!" - In fact.

When I feel the Malaysian tiger inside me...

- You're sure it was a Malaysian tiger? - A wild animal, a werewolf.

A werewolf or a Malaysian tiger?

Aki c'mon! A Malaysian tiger with a werewolf graft.

But sweet at times, he was...

like a kitten.

A kitten?

- Yes, brutal, ma dulce! - Why the Spanish?

You could feel that everything he did,

he did delicately, with love.

Maybe he just wanted to hump you?

No, he said he's loved me for months!

Then, he pulled a jack from a car...

- A jack? - I can't say what we did with it.

I bet you will.

I'm at the height of pleasure.

Rex starts howling, El Tigre, to distract him,

kicks my little Ferragamo.

Rex catches it midair like a bone.

I don't know whether to climax

or retrieve my 4,500-euro purse.

What did you do?

What did you do?

- I decided to climax! - Wise.

- What's that? - A sow.

Poor thing!

Akiko's sow, Puja.

Are you crazy? Bringing a pig in here!

And if it shits all over? I'm not paying damages.

She's more intelligent and better behaved than a puppy.

I need a drink.

- And Chiara? - Brides always make you wait.

- Aki, a little champagne? - I don't drink anymore.

- It doesn't seem so. - I'm a fruitarian.

I eat fruit, no corpses, animal nor vegetable.

And so, no wine?

Wine is rotten grapes, fermented, gone bad.

Don't be a biological nun today.

I'm not a nun and I'm no longer even Akiko.

- What do you mean? - I may not want to know.

I'm a flamingo!

Wonderful.

Alcohol, thank you!

I've been born again.

- I did rebirthing! - What did she do?

Rebirthing.

Oh God, they're ashes?

Through this ritual,

you relive the traumatic experience of your birth.

You see your previous lives and finally know who you were.

I was a flamingo,

a pink flamingo.

You've been quite fashionable lately.

Especially the inflatable version for the beach.

- Where's Chiara? I have to go. - You know they're joking!

In this zoological garden of life,

have you found the male flamingo?

I needn't look for a male flamingo.

- I have to find a penguin! - What? I'm interested.

If, as a woman, your guide animal is a pink flamingo,

you have to find a man whose guide animal is a penguin,

and who wants to join with a woman

whose guide animal is a pink flamingo, understand?

- Yes. - No!

I'm a very lucky woman

because the penguin is the perfect man, he can fly,

he can swim and if need be, he can also ski.

Since when do penguins fly?

The male incubates the egg, not the female.

That so, Sofia would have done it with a penguin!

It's tops, the male incubates, the female goes off shopping.

- She eats, drinks. - Goes to the gym.

There's no point making fun of me,

the penguin is the perfect companion.

Get it?

A toast to the four penguins we'll pick up tonight.

Three! Linda's already paired with a penguin, she just doesn't want to say.

I haven't paired.

It must have the shiniest beak, the best webbed feet,

but you won't share.

I've never shared, if anything, it was you who took.

Yes, a long, long, long time ago.

Knowing you, he must be as fascinating as George Clooney,

rich as Bill Gates and intelligent as...

As...

Girls, the name of an intelligent man?

What's this?

- Let's drag it inside. - It's for us, maybe a treasure.

I could use a little joy in life!

C'mon! Oh, God...

- Get up! - Idiots, what's so funny?

- A little jump... - Don't shout in my ear.

- Shut up and drag. - Put it here.

It's locked.

You're joking...

There's no key, but there's this.

"Youth is beautiful, yet it flees!

Those wishing to be happy, can be, the future holds no certainty.

Happy hunting, ladies".

- That's by whatshisname... - It's a game?

Whatshisname, c'mon!

Why am I in your company? It's... Lorenzo the Magnificent.

- It's a treasure hunt! - What's the treasure?

- Us! - How do I know?

Don't you get it? Hotel, youth...

- Chiara never called us ladies. - Exactly! She hates "ladies".

Where will ladies find their youth in a place like this?

- I have no idea. - In the spa!

In the spa.

Ignorant, but sharp.

Good for you! Good luck.

Come on, Puja.

Aki, wait!

C'mon, don't be a party-pooper!

Listen, I haven't shaved.

Akiko, please.

Will you listen a minute?

Let me go!

We can't do this without you.

Ever since Chiara left you refuse our invitations, you stand us up.

What's happened?

Being together makes me that 20-year-old loser again,

the one who can't speak Italian well and always says yes.

I've taken a path, I've found people who really love me.

We love you too!

Sure, you love me like a sad case.

If not for us, do it for Chiara!

She's always defended you, always told you the truth, remember?

Akiko Kakimoto.

Akiko crap in motor, Akiko crap in motor,

Akiko crappy dodo...

Chiara!

Chiara thought of absolutely everything.

- Let's look for the key! - We change first.

Are you an idiot?

- Didn't you read the rules? - Perfectly!

"Those wishing to be happy, can be, the future holds no certainty!"

Jump in. C'mon, don't be ladies!

I'm wearing a thousand euros, no pool.

Bitch.

I’ll strangle you!

Akiko, come on in!

Come on in, come on in...

C'mon on in Akiko, the water's wonderful!

Summer 1998

For you, to listen to the sea everywhere.

Chiara? They're all naked.

I said no bathing suit worries!

- You want us to vacation with maniacs! - They're no maniacs!

I said to go to my mother's in Porto Cervo.

- She'd even leave us her villa. - You always go to Sardinia.

But we'd go to Ambra Night, the Ritual

and tonight be at Sottovento.

And you, sotto voce with some hunk.

No surprises here, at least,

you get what you see.

Interesting, I hadn't thought of that.

Are you crazy?

Don't give a shit, like them.

Right!

Yeah, who gives a shit!

Yeah, let's go.

Hell with it all!

Are we looking in the right place?

Maybe we got the message wrong.

She could have sent a picture, at least.

- To see the groom. - Maybe he's homely.

What's going on?

Nothing, we're checking the mud for dryness.

Oh, God!

- Okay, make sure it's tops. - Just relax.

Like the merchandise?

Now the mud's at its best, it's tops.

Relax, we'll come by later.

Stay there.

I'm staying.

We don't work miracles

To listen to the sea everywhere.

- Sorry, what did you say? - Nothing.

- Do you need anything? - Nothing, thank you.

The key!

Girls, I found the key!

There's no stripper!

What gave you that idea?

- A stripper, I wish! - Why would you come to the hotel?

We'll talk later. I'll call as soon as I'm done.

I promise, till later.

Sure, pretty, but white... isn't Chiara the one getting married?

Last time I wore white was my confirmation.

Pinkie won't let go! Didn't you say it was over?

Pain in the ass...

Nice though, eh?

But I'm afraid!

I'm not sure I can position my melons in that chaste space.

Do you know why the clothes?

- No, but we have to wear them! - Not unless it's organic fabric.

Don't be a pain, throw on these vestiges of youth.

Calm down.

Let's put them on, Chiara's coming.

I won't tell you what's awaiting you downstairs!

Give it back, I had it!

Evil oriental, come here!

- Give it to me! - No tickling!

Stuff her in the trunk, she’s tiny, just fits.

In the trunk!

- Where's he taking us? - Does it matter?

Chauffeur! My good man!

I feel a slight yearning.

Oh, yeah, but it's not exactly hunger...

It's more a desire for something good!

My dear sir, might we call you Ambrogio?

My name's Adrian, but Ambrogio is fine.

Yes.

Roguish red-heads steam me up.

I've been working for Ms. Gentile for three years.

Hear that?

That's foresight.

You were real bitches not letting me bring Puja.

Be serene, we're pigs enough.

When will she ever again get a Royal Suite all to herself?

Ready?

Go!

Me!

To Chiara!

To Chiara's boobs!

- And to mine too. - That you didn't have before.

Akiko come here!

Hey, the music!

I'm sorry, but there's a voice note for you.

Go.

- How's it going, girls? - Great!

- When are you coming, Chiara? - Talking with the voice note?

I have no words...

Adrian, whom I'm sure you've already called Ambrogio.

Yes!

He's my driver and yours for tonight.

- Thank you! - All ours!

Not for everything, eh?

I'm coming, but the hunt goes on.

I want you free, no holding back, having fun

and overcoming your fears!

We know no fear, we know no fear...

We know no fear!

- What'll be the next clue? - Who knows?

I want to tell you something.

I saw Eleonora in the bathroom with a syringe.

- I think she's on drugs. - What are you saying?

- I'm very concerned. - Shhh, she's looking at us!

Ready for a whirl?

- Which one should we take? - C'mon!

April 1999

Let's be serious for once!

- Go, concentrate. - It's the last one.

High-five!

Good for you!

High-five me!

Little fish!

I wonder if it's male or female?

This is for you.

Charleston, nice, did you name him?

- It's not the name of the fish. - The brand?

- No. - The breed?

Forgive them, they've no idea. I'm just company.

A civilized society should have proper interaction between man and animal...

Knock it off!

Yup...

- Let's go? - Thank you.

Ma'am, not the elephant!

Sorry!

- Charleston is a clue from Chiara! - They're crazy.

- Here's the Charleston! - She knows us too well.

But, marrying at Halloween...

Welcome.

Hello!

Ms. Chiara has reserved an entire room.

She's lost her mind?

Hello there!

I'm scared to uncover it.

- Our exes' heads? - One table's not enough.

If it's Lorenzo's, there's no brain, like the original.

- Nothing to boast about, you know? - Shall we lift?

Why change the subject when we mention Lorenzo?

No arguing.

Argue... It's been 20 years.

- You always rub it in. - See?

Didn't you take a spin on that ride, too?

- You're incredible, you know? - I know.

Can we view?

For a moment I understood "can we screw".

What an idiot!

One, two, three.

No!

Our favorite dishes!

Chiara hasn't forgotten a thing!

Apples? How could she know?

Aki's profile is all apples.

Apples are very important.

One hundred thousand years ago, all we ate was apples.

- We were healthy and happy. - Think about poor Adam.

If Eve had picked a banana instead of an apple,

she'd have saved us from a load of suffering.

- There were no bananas in Paradise. - There were.

Do you think,

we were wrong to start and finish without her?

It's unplugged.

She's coming!

Dessert!

A bit of trash is what was needed.

No!

You want it all to yourself?

What would you do with it, eh?

Why don't you do a lectio magistralis

on the third step to win him back?

Then follow me!

A lesson on fellatio no!

Oh, come on!

If you've got art inside, it's right to bring it out,

share it.

- At 40 you should have already learned. - I'm not 40!

C'mon, give us a lesson.

Lesson...

Okay!

Okay.

Rule number one: a man's penis

is to be loved,

venerated.

So much abnegation!

Rule number two:

you should blow on the organ, like this...

Like this?

You'll hyperventlate like that.

Then it all gets cloudy.

- But the important thing is... - The rhythm!

- No. - Tenacity?

Your hand.

How you sue it makes the difference.

Not one...

but dos!

- Dos? - If she says dos, is dos.

Girls, I've got such a desire!

- For? - A desire...

For another second course.

- I'm going to the toilette. - Please, not tonight.

- I have to pee. - Do as you like.

Hanging around with you has made me feel like shit since I was 14.

You could have avoided screwing my left-overs.

- A little mandrake? - Isn't that a hallucinogenic?

Depends on the dosage, just a bit relaxes

and I'd say we all need to.

Yes, especially Vanessa.

Bitch.

- Pass it over. - Wine's better.

Pass me the left-over.

So, now...

I'm going to the crapper

with permission from the princess.

Fuck!

Oh, God, tell me it's not dead!

Oh, no!

Sorry Aki,

I'm a little tipsy.

All is impermanent.

We'll get another one.

- Pass this fucking mandrake. - Yeah, pass the mandrake.

It might even do us good.

I hope this mandrake really hurts us.

Want to know why you and I hurt one another so much?

Because we're sisters.

The others have their lives, they've made their way,

not us,

we've stayed... attached.

You know, often...

I've wondered if I was glued to you

to hurt myself even more, beside the most beautiful of all.

What are you saying!

Then what happened to me?

I gave life to another, the most beautiful of all.

I need to tell you something very important.

I love, I envy

my daughter with passion of equal measure.

And I...

am left with a hole that's never satiated.

Enough of all this.

Do you really think I love my body?

You don't know all the times I've hated being beautiful.

You don't know.

One day,

one of the many shits my mother had around

decided there was nothing wrong...

with putting his hand on my butt.

he decided there was nothing wrong with putting it other places.

But I...

I was a child.

A child...

You never told me.

I was ashamed.

I thought it was my fault.

I'd have killed him.

I know!

I know.

I think

we should have eliminated

all those who looked at us

with ugly eyes and hands,

those who made us feel wrong

and dirty.

It's just that...

- That? - The massacre.

Just you and me left on Earth...

I prefer Hades.

I'm no lady

One with all the stars in life

I'm no lady...

I don't believe it!

- It's fantastic! - Loredana!

I, who am a sliver leaf

Born from a tree felled here

And who'd like to chase the wind

But who can't make it

What a tough struggle

To fall only meters away

From my misfortune

From my fear

It's a gliding flight

To be remembered here

For not knowing how to fly

But how to remember it now

I'm no lady

One with all the stars in life

I'm no lady

One for whom the war never ends

I'm no lady

One with few marks in life

Oh, no...

So, girls.

I mean Linda, Eleonora, Akiko.

- And me? - And Vanessa.

- Are you here? - Yes!

I have a message for you: use time well,

because we don't know how much we have at our disposal.

I'm 70 and I'm still no lady.

Loredana, Loredana...

Someone's waiting for you at the circus, have fun!

- Chiara! - Thank you!

Have fun! Bye!

What is it, a horror film?

- Chiara! - Come out, Chiara!

C'mon!

There's Pinocchio!

E.T. phone home.

- I wasn't even born. - A Teddy Bear!

He's so cute!

So sweet!

It must be Chiara.

It's not Chiara!

No, not a stripper!

No, please!

Hurray for Teddy Bears!

He's got a pom pom!

He's like marble!

I knew I shouldn't have come!

Yes, show us all...

- So, God exists! - He's all black.

- You'll hurt! - I just slapped him!

Chocolate candy.

Okay, he's lying down, he's very tired.

Good, Aki.

- Drink. - Hydrate.

More, hydrate.

You've been bad, huh?

Ready?

Three, three, down, down, three, three, down, down, down!

- Oh, God, he's dead! - Don't yell.

- A heart attack? - A stroke?

You wanted to drug him but I bet he'd have done it anyway.

It's not a drug, it's mandrake! You gave him some too.

You come down hard with this mandrake!

Either Teddy's allergic and in anaphylactic shock, or you're a murderer.

Murderer? No!

He's alive, there's a heartbeat.

What effect does this mandrake have?

I don't know, it's the first time.

Girls, the only thing to do is ask Master Baba Yogi for help.

Oh, great!

Cut it out!

You'll kill him, stop!

What is it? What's all the yellin'?

Teddy? You flattened Teddy?

No.

He was doin' three, four hen parties a day,

he survived a Gypsy wedding and you four...

- Don't get mad. - We'll call an ambulance.

No!

Kicking him?

- What did you do to him? - Nothing.

- Did he drink? You drugged him? - No!

He drank some mandrake, a drug...

I mean, a natural herb.

It's all okay. Let's call an ambulance?

We can't!

The guy's illegal.

He came in on a boat, I don't know if that's clear.

Excuse me, Mr...

Alfio.

Beautiful name! We'll just leave now.

Maybe I wasn't clear.

You created this mess

so now, poor Teddy...

you'll get rid of him!

But exactly where...

did I go wrong?

We'll take him to the Master.

This guy weighs a ton.

Let's call Ambrogio!

- Girls, he's slipping! - Don't let go, Eleonora!

Don't flake out now!

Go easy!

- What do we do? - Where's Ambrogio?

The key's here.

Please, don't do it.

Are you sure you can drive this train?

I even drive tractors.

Linda! No, I don't believe it!

Oh, God!

Ready?

Careful, trains don't steer!

They're mad.

Careful!

I saw that, relax!

A car!

- We almost had an accident. - It's all under control.

Let's take him to the hospital before we end up there too.

Left!

I think he'll end up like the goldfish.

Maybe.

He made it across the desert, think he won't survive us?

Respect for the temple.

Baba Yogi?

Can you tell us about this boy's future and our own?

About our own, as for meditation,

we should always think of here and now.

Another important thing is, at least the way I see it,

that all is one...

Okay?

Then, the future....

Where's the future? It doesn't exist, just as the past doesn't,

only the present exists.

Your friend, in just a few hours, fifteen, ten...

will be fine, don't worry.

I heard, it's all okay.

Girls, I'm speechless! Now Chiara will get here

and discover all this mess including stealing the limo.

We'll be found dead in the limo in a ditch.

Stay calm.

No one will die, and it's no theft if we return the limo to the hotel

where Chiara's waiting, we'll explain the whole thing

and she'll understand.

- Maybe... - And Teddy?

- We have to find a solution. - Where do we take him?

Hold it! I have a brilliant idea!

Now go in this flamingo to your own country!

Go, you and the flamingo!

That would be your idea?

You're a racist bitch!

Know how it feels to go thousands of kilometers for a better life?

Ending up in a foreign country where you're treated like shit?

He's so heavy!

I'm not a racist, I'm just drunk.

Shit, Vanessa!

I'll do all I can to help this beautiful human being, let's go!

Here we are...

One, two, three.

- Holy shit! - He's so heavy!

What deep sleep!

Puja's sleeping like a baby.

- Look at the mess she made. - She was hungry.

Anyway, the worst is over.

As the Master said, just wait.

- Sure Santa Claus knows his stuff? - The Master knows all.

Yeah, he knows all things and smokes all kinds.

I have to speak to you, I never knew I was so maternal.

- Maternal, you? - Quiet!

Eleonora, I'm worried about you,

I saw you in the bathroom... Don't touch me!

With a syringe! You're on drugs.

- What are you saying? - Idiot.

Who the hell gives you the right, moron!

If your life is shit, it's exactly like ours.

Yes, your life is shit because you've always been envious,

envious of my career.

You want to be an actress! At forty?

Knock it off, loser.

Don't spread lies, I'm not forty.

You're jealous of my rapport with Linda,

but you're especially jealous that I could

give life to another life, while you're a woman without purpose,

because you're useless.

Vanessa, listen...

Let's not get swept up in this negative energy.

Let go of me.

When I was a kid

I was terrified of getting pregnant.

Then it happened.

Once.

Only Chiara knew.

I aborted.

When I woke up that morning,

I felt a great void inside, I screamed and implored:

"Please, give it back!"

But...

Forgive me!

Lorenzo?

Don't hate me.

I could never hate you!

I take injections for ovary stimulation.

I've had my eggs frozen and want at least two fertilized.

That's why we've seen so many twins lately.

People in love should never get married, but they do,

because it's right.

They reproduce, because it's right.

When a baby's born, you never know what stranger you've brought home.

Then, one morning, you wake up and discover you're unhappy.

And you discover your husband is too

because he likes dicks.

- Maybe he's bisexual, eh? - It's not bisexual now, it's fluidity.

I love you.

I love you, too.

When's Chiara coming, where is she?

Ambrogio will already have told her about our tiny theft.

But...

Didn't you say by bringing the limo back, it wasn't a theft?

I'm no lawyer, but that is kidnapping.

If he dies, it's also murder.

Calm down, the Master...

The Master is a fucking addict!

- Don't talk about him like that! - Cool down.

I'll resolve this mess!

- By doing what? - By calling someone who can help us.

- El Tigre! - The tire dealer?

He fixes tires and problems too.

Versatile.

I told you what Lorenzo's like.

Oh, God, I told you, they saw us!

All you give me is enormous grief.

- I said there was negative energy. - I'm even poor now!

- Settle down! - I'm sweating, all over!

Move, let's hide the evidence.

- C'mon, we can do it. - God, he's so heavy!

- What are you doing here? - Surprise.

- Not glad to see me? - How did you get in?

Can I come in?

- I'll break the door down if not. - You're on drugs!

- Let's see your pupils. Are you high? - No!

No, I'm not drugged!

Hi, Sofi! How you've grown!

I see you've had fun, good,

you've drunk, danced...

good for you!

You have no right!

I didn't even want to come.

Sure...Where's the stripper?

No! Vanessa?

Sofia!

- What's your daughter doing here? - I have no idea.

You said there'd be no men.

What did you tell her?

- Who the fuck's that Negro on the bed? - Don't call him Negro.

The classic party of 40-year-old women in heat!

It was just a game.

I don't get this connection...

Linda, you're a slut.

How dare you?

- Calm down. - Did you screw him?

What the hell's it matter to you?

- No one's made love with anyone. - For the moment.

You don't get it, I love you.

- What did she say? - I missed it.

- Why did you do it? - What did she say?

"Why did you do it".

Yes, Mom, I love Linda!

Shit!

You heard me, I love her.

I feel faint...

Vanessa, listen.

This “I love you" is exaggerated.

It was... just a kiss.

Only a kiss.

No, it wasn't only a kiss, you know that.

Why don't you love me?

It's all negative energy.

You've smashed my balls with this negative energy!

I'll kill you!

You're taking advantage of my daughter!

- A kid! - I'm 18!

- I didn't take advantage of a soul! - You're disgusting!

- You took revenge for Lorenzo! - I don't give a shit about him.

- Let go of me! - Can we talk?

No, we can't, don't even look at me,

you make me dirty.

- You could have told me but you didn't. - I tried!

Mom, I love her!

Repeat that and I'll slap you so hard your teeth will drop.

- You're mother's right. - What did you say?

That you're right.

Let go of me!

So, my ex-husband is bi...

Queer.

Queer.

My daughter and my best friend are together...

I have a splitting headache.

Hold it! El Tigre's here.

This suite is a whorehouse, my life is a film by Lars Von Trier.

Yes!

It's El Tigre!

He's come to save us.

This destitute would be El Tigre?

You're always so judgmental!

What a strange little animal!

Curious! Where did it come from?

Brutal ma dulce?

- Do we let him in? - Where did you scrape him up?

In Medjugorje.

- You thought they were hot springs? - I took a pilgrimage.

You did a wonderful thing.

I've realized I don't want to live sexuality as death,

I want to live it as creation.

That's not creation, that's penitence. Cut the crap!

I'm still the coach of "Ten Steps to Win Him Back".

No need to play a part with us, we're not kids.

- But she is! - Now we three will have a talk.

You deal with El Tigre, we three will talk.

You sit here, you here, now listen.

Believe me, I've been trying to tell you all day.

I don't know how it happened

but I stopped immediately, out of respect for you.

And for you.

We'd have suffered, you know that.

Using the plural?

Yes.

Sofia...

has an incredible mind, she's a wonderful artist.

Thank you.

You don't know all I've learned thanks to her.

But this thing ends here.

You're my family, I love you

and nothing must touch that.

Mom, I'm sorry, it just happened.

- I love you. - Me too.

In here.

No problem, toots, just one thing gives me the willies,

a bull's horns at my ass!

What's that talk?

Damn, all this meat here

can't be a picnic!

Anyone already tried?

- Unfortunately not. - I'll handle it.

Look.

- Honey... - He moved, didn't he?

- Nothing. - No, he's not movin'.

Exactly what are you doing?

What am I doin'... judgin' his weight!

He's trying to see if he'll fit in his Smart.

No, "nuthin' doin'", he won't fit.

He's a Smart himself.

Unless...

- We take him out in pieces? - You're not well.

- I'm not well... - What's "nuthin' doin'"?

Nuthin' doin', he's heavier than a boar!

Do you know a Smart has a passenger seat?

And do you know I came on a 'lectric scooter?

You maltreated your Ferragamo for this individual?

He's so funny! And 25!

- What he can count to? - No, something else.

Well, we're back at square one.

It's almost day, the treasure hunt is a distant memory

and Chiara... will be here.

If no one's seen us, we have to stay till he wakes up.

- So much for Chiara's celebration. - So much for the Hen Party.

Teddy's resurrected, hallelujah!

Hi! Want a glass of water?

Wouldn't some Red Bull be better?

At least he'd energize a little.

I not drink.

You want kill me?

No, not at all.

You want beat up me?

Look, most I can do is punch your little bear.

- Then you're a racist. - No!

Don't worry, no one wants to "beat up you", it's okay.

I and my firstborn are leaving, because things...

You and your firstborn sit down, relax.

- Maybe it's just Chiara. - Really!

You won't go back to Africa, it must have been very difficult.

We know you're illegal but no one will say anything.

It's just Ambrogio with a guy.

Akiko, take Teddy and Puja into the bedroom.

Come on.

- We'll tidy up. - What's to tidy?

- This takes a cleaning company. - I'll open.

Good evening, ladies

or would good morning be better?

Is there a problem?

We've made too much noise?

It's a Hen Party, you know...

I understand it's a party,

but there are other guests in the hotel.

We girls go a little crazy in these situations.

We have reason to believe you've brought a Black man in.

How bizarre!

Us? A man?

But, pardon me,

why the need to specify the color of his skin?

What do you have against Black people?

Besides, "ton sur ton"... how can a Black man be seen in the dark?

Yeah, it's like lookin' for an albino in snow!

Far be it, I have nothing against Black people.

Actually, my ex-wife...

But that's another story.

I'm not illegal.

I'm Italian like you.

I'm an actor, my name's Billo.

- An actor? - Yes.

Billo?

Yes.

It's a beautiful name!

And so are you...

Meet us halfway,

the director is our friend but he's already been more than tolerant.

Please collaborate, there's nothing to fear.

Is this man here with you, or not?

No man, by now we've returned to Madonna-hood.

You're sure?

So, you don't mind if I call the police to check things.

I adore being escorted by agents.

The Marabout said I'd meet a beautiful woman.

Who's the Marabout?

He's my life mentor.

Like my Baba Yogi!

I'll take a look around if you don't mind.

As you wish.

Oh, God!

I'm sorry.

Ms. Chiara told me that together, you'd be a time bomb,

but I didn't think this much.

Never underestimate Italian women!

May I speak to you in private?

Thank you.

I have a task and Chiara is waiting for you.

Where is she? Enough of this game, we can't take anymore!

Laughing and joking, the pink flamingo found the penguin.

Looky, looky, looky, there's a penguin who's besotted

Starching in his collar and a tie precisely knotted

Goes for a stroll down village trails with an air that's very chic

Swingin' gently in his tie and tails

He serenades in moonlight to a window that he's spotted

Where his darling's sleeping, she's a penguin who's besotted

"Oh, lovely daughter born of love, I'm your slave, you're in my schemes

Here I am, please let me in your dreams"

Softly, softly, softly, now the penguin who's besotted

Creeps away on tip-toe, he's dejected, broken-hearted

Then in the night rings out a shot From the bar a sound assails

The penguin shot himself in tie and tails

Your high school is nearby.

How do you know that?

Ms. Chiara told me you often played a trick.

She told you absolutely everything!

Shall we stop?

We're at our high school!

Let's stop!

Why not?

Did you understand anything?

Did you hear Lorenzo crashed his motor scooter?

Chiara?

What are you looking at?

I saw...

What?

- I saw how we'll be... - The test's about to start.

- What did she see? - Nothing!

C'mon, let's take this test!

Girls, do we do it?

- Well, it was a must... - Before we played hooky.

Yes, c'mon, let's do it.

We...

Know...

No fear...

Banzai.

- Should I phone? - Yes.

- Think it's the same number? - Do it!

Hello? There's a bomb in the school.

Not prom! I said bomb!

Wasn't that where we'd smoke, dreaming of happiness?

Yes, near the tomb of Keats, the young poet.

Yes, but Chiara?

Here it is!

- What nostalgia! - Yeah.

Where did we put our stuff?

Never fear that I be trodden. Trodden, grass becomes a path.

What a fucking joke! It's not funny.

I'm leaving, I'm fucking fed up.

Let's call her.

It's one of Chiara's classic jokes.

It's a shitty joke.

She said she wanted to rest here one day.

Please, now will you tell us where Chiara is?

Will you tell us?

Take us to Chiara now, please?

I wish I could, you've no idea.

I'm calling her.

Where the fuck is she?

- Hi, darling. - Hi.

Will you marry me?

Yes.

- You're sure? Don't feel ill, or... - I don't feel ill, dummy!

We got married in the hospital

when she already knew she wouldn't make it.

Fuck!

She died two months ago in San Francisco.

She never came back.

It's not true.

You should have told us!

We should have gone to her!

Certain pain has to be experienced alone.

- Why the fuck didn't you tell us? - That's enough, please!

Chiara made me promise that after her death, I'd have reunited you.

I promised her I'd let you raise hell.

She said you'd have found one another only in chaos.

She wanted to show you that although death is desperation,

with disease trying to destroy you...

she wouldn't let herself be destroyed.

She wouldn't permit it.

Chiara hasn't left us.

Chiara is in the wind,

in the scent of flowers.

Hear the birds?

Chiara...

is in each of you.

And now?

Now you're here and have to...

Always be there for each other.

Sorry, I can't take this.

Swear, even in twenty years, we'll all be there for each other.

For me, you'll always be there.

Always.

- What? - Always!

- What? - Always!

- Because we... - Know no fear!

Ready? For Chiara...

Always!

I did it, darling.

I did it.

For Chiara Giuntoli and all those who have left us too soon.

3 ore prima

Girls, you're really crazy, but hugely likable.

- What's that talk? - It's Italian.

He's certainly not El Tigre!

His name's Billo. Isn't it a beautiful name?

You saw him, he's a dancer and also an actor.

He acted, partly eh, the fainting. He's great!

Girls, the most important thing is the next leg.

Caio Cestio Street number 6.

It's fundamental.

- Leg? Who told you? - Why didn't you tell us sooner?

I couldn't, I had to wait for sunrise.

In your opinion, I'm crazy?

I come in Italy on a boat? No, no, no!

I come in Italy on a nice plane, Business Class.

Sure I'm Negro, but not stupid.

The Marabout tell me white women are crazy.

- Where's he going? - To the spa.

Excuse me girls, but El Tigre?

Puja! Puja?

Where is she?

You and me are pretty similar, know that?

I was kinda porky too as a young'un!

I was a real pig!

Here, more chocolate.

I was thinkin'...

What if I take you home, we keep company?

I'm from the outskirts, livin's good.

Ariccia, specialty's roast pork, it's...

Maybe not Ariccia, it's like a cemetery for you.

More? You're messy!

I'm messy like you, live with me my place'll be a REAL pigsty!

translation Charlotte Lantery Reel One Subtitles