Original subtitles

In the Arabian Nights.

was dead,

was sentenced

to death

by

her husband, King

Shariar of Samarkand.

Scheherazade struck a bargain.

If she could tell a story,

a story that would

please the king.

Life would be spared.

Her life would be saved.

Until the next night.

It's not widely known that Victorian sexologist and explorer Sir Richard

Francis Burton is still alive.

In 1892, an unfortunate encounter with the Fountain of Youth extended his

lifespan indefinitely.

He decided to relocate to North America and has spent much of the past century

employed as chief taxidermist at the Natural History Museum in Toronto.

Good afternoon, Dick. How goes it?

Ah, Dr. Placebo.

Labor omnia winket.

Work conquers all.

My new armature method has put us several days ahead of schedule.

Dick, I'm afraid I've got some bad news.

Oh?

What is it, sir?

I've had to cancel the Dusseldorf plague rat. They want $60,000 for it. Cancel

the plague rat, sir.

That rat was to be our book of kills.

Our Shroud of Turin, our King Tut death mask.

Without that rat, this hole of contagion will be nothing more than a bunch of

blisters, lesions, and goiters.

Money's tight, Dick. You know that.

I'm sure you'll come up with an alternative.

Diagram featuring patient zero, which demonstrates sexual transmission of the

unknown agent causing acquired immune deficiency syndrome.

1982.

From the good to the bad. Tell the tale. Save my life.

A life I could have had.

Just like Sarah's dad. Tell a story.

Tell a story.

I've been dead for years and years.

Thick with loneliness.

So here's me, I'm dying for a kiss.

Tell the story, clear my name.

Why do they need someone to blame?

Why don't people who matter tell the tale?

Life I could have had.

Just like the caravan.

Tell a story.

Tell a story.

We were boys who loved our bodies.

Playing hard and deep.

Boys who thought we'd live.

We were playing for cheap.

Tell a story.

Tell a story.

Tell a story of my life.

From zero hour to 12 a.m.

From the good to the bad.

Tell the tale.

Save my life.

A life I could have had.

Hey, who turned out the light?

Water is getting warmer.

You know, like water.

Whoa!

What's going on?

It's a jet-set bath.

I'm dreaming.

I'm in heaven?

Over the past century, biographers have struggled with the enigma of Sir Richard

Francis Burton.

The majority portray him as a swashbuckling Victorian he-man, whose

famous erotic translations made him a 19th century sexual radical.

Others point to his chauvinism, his sexless marriage, and his ongoing penis

-measuring projects as proof of his deeply conflicted sexual nature.

However, all the biographers agree that his taxidermic efforts of the last

hundred years are not his best work, despite some praise for his daring 1940

diorama, Yellow Spotted Dingo Stalking the Brindle Belly Groundhog.

Sources say Burton has high hopes that his new Hall of Contagion project will

restore his reputation as a world-class intellectual.

It's practically nothing.

A few lackluster footnotes about patient zero, but that's it.

Don't these scientists realize the implications?

I mean, it's almost as if... Why, yes, it must be.

A conspiracy of silence.

How can I get laid if nobody can see me?

George!

P-A-T-I-E-N-T-Z-F?

No, E.

R-O... Try the other eye.

George.

P-A-T-I-E-N-T-Z-E-B.

Try it with both eyes.

My old doctor.

I don't know why I got it so wrong.

The results of the test came back, George.

Because of your weakened immune system, your CMV.

cytomegalovirus is definitely active.

We'd like to start you on some sort of treatment.

A friend of mine went blind from CMP.

These days, we can sometimes prevent blindness if we catch it in time.

Now, there are a few treatment options.

There's Foscovir, Cytavine, Ganciclovir, and the new one, ZP0.

Now, it's the most expensive, but some research shows it's also the most

promising.

Yeah?

Ah, Dick, come right in.

I think I've found it. Found what?

A new set of teeth for our hole of contagion. Something groundbreaking, yet

crowd-pleasing.

A display about patient zero.

Who? I don't follow.

Right now, our hole of contagion has a display for every major epidemic in

human history.

Cholera, typhus, buboric plague, influenza, syphilis, diphtheria.

What's missing?

AIDS, of course.

We've covered AIDS. The African green monkey is... That green monkey was

simply the way the AIDS virus crossed over from animals to Africans.

Patient zero is the primum mobula. The first person to bring AIDS to North

America. Allow me, sir.

A snake lurks in the grass.

This chart is from a scientific study conducted in 1982.

The doctors interviewed as many as... This is all very well, Dick, but what

exactly are you proposing?

The latest in high-tech image bombardment. The music video approach.

The use of today demands something as urgent and modern as AIDS itself.

Sounds expensive.

Patient Zero was a flight attendant.

Perhaps the airlines would sponsor it.

Well, perhaps not.

Here's another possibility.

These are pharmaceutical manufacturers who make treatment drugs for AIDS

victims.

Now, surely one of these companies would leap at the chance of funding our

display.

Possibly.

There's the issue of local relevance, of course.

That's the beauty of it, patient. Vera was Canadian.

A promiscuous, irresponsible, homosexual Canadian.

Hardly a positive role model, Dick.

He was French-Canadian.

Ah.

French-Canadian.

My passion for discovery has led me near and far.

Rebecca, Medina, Brazil and Zanzibar. I speak 40 languages. I've written

50 books.

My friends include witch doctors, scientists and proof.

My translations of the classics are thought the very best. Both my sutra and

my knight pass the titillation test.

I detail the mating habits of a dozen different tribes and shock those stuffy

England with my studies of hot ties.

Victorians were Cartesian. They revered the intellectuals. They wished to know

the world, but recoiled to matters sexist.

What's the point of all the facts?

when you censor out the crew.

My scientific searching would dismiss as low and lewd.

Let's all be empiricists, pictures of the brain.

Through our wit and brilliance, we can know the world again.

We'll classify and label and find the answers

of...

A culture of certainty will banish every doubt.

A culture of certainty will banish every

doubt. I don't think geography has mapped every river, every glade, yet we

still have much to learn about the mystery of age.

Let's explore this foreign body, learn the customs of its cells.

Transify its nooks and crannies, pull its chains and ring its bells. We will

never find a cure till we isolate the soul.

What we know where it came from, we can kill it off by force.

What's the origin of this vine? Europe, Zaire, Haiti?

The clues are here before us. Patience here holds the key.

Let's all be empiricists.

Sisters of the mind.

Rulers.

A culture of certainty will put us

back on top.

Magnific-

My own mother can see me.

Just as well.

She's given me a big lecture.

You drop by for a visit after three years of being dead, and you don't even

phone first.

Dr. Winnie Chang, my name is Richard Burden.

I'm calling from the Natural History Museum, and I'm doing a bit of research

into contagious diseases.

Right.

How did you first meet patient Zero?

I was doing a med school residency back in 1982.

I helped with the contact tracing for this epidemiological study.

Zero was one of the people I interviewed.

What was the purpose of the study?

The study was set up to find out if the disease was sexually transmitted.

Back then, we didn't know anything about AIDS. What caused it, if it was

infectious, nothing.

What was Zero like?

Was he bitter that your team had tracked him down?

Tracked him down?

Did he withhold information about his sexu liaison to throw you off the trail?

Not a bit. He was one of the most cooperative in the study. He had a good

memory, and he gave us lots of names out of his address book.

Was he excited, knowing he was purposely infecting so many other people?

Did he conform to the clinical profile of a serial killer?

Look, he loved to sleep around, but so did a lot of people, straight and gay.

The report did not set out to blame anyone.

You didn't.

Order him to stop having sex, though, did you?

It didn't work that way. We told him that there was a very good chance this

new disease was sexually transmitted.

He asked for conclusive evidence.

Well, of course, back then we didn't have any.

He became very defiant. He told us that we were acting like the sex police.

And what could we say?

On some level, he was right.

Wouldn't it have been better to have put him under quarantine?

No, that's ridiculous.

We seem to have lost battery power.

We don't see.

I see.

You see.

We see.

I don't see.

You don't see.

We don't see.

I see.

I've decided that the display must represent the sexual jungle where

patient zero stopped his prey.

Luckily, I'm hardened to such debaucheries, having conducted extensive

investigations into the male brothels of Karachi in 1845.

For someone of patient zero's insatiable appetite, this was probably just another

bathhouse, one of the many hot spots he regularly prowled. New York, L.A., San

Francisco, Medicine Hat.

Excuse me.

Did you ever have sex with a flight attendant named Zero?

Denial seems to be a major component of the homosexual dysfunctional psyche.

Perhaps such self-destructiveness was a key to Zero's behavior.

Old movies, you know.

Huh?

Oh, look, he's popped a boner.

When you pop a boner in the shower Point it like a flag for all

to see Give us a good peek that you're too mad

When you cruise the...

Be proud.

Madame Zero, it's Richard Burton from the museum. We spoke on the phone.

I told you I wasn't interested.

Just a quick interview. It'll only take a minute.

Get out of here or I'll call the police.

What we at the museum are interested in doing is a very prestigious scientific

display about Zero.

It should be quite spectacular.

So all the neighbors can gossip? No, thanks.

Well, actually spectacular in a small way.

Quite esoteric. Not for the public at all, really.

Forget it.

Think about how it could help someone else.

Another young man.

Another mother.

That's just what that journalist said.

Ever so smoothly, and I believed him.

Well, he made it sound like Zero was the devil, bringing his boyfriends home.

flaunting his lifestyle under our noses.

Ciro never did that. Not once.

I've got to get the phone. Do you think I could possibly use your bathroom?

Yes.

I'll call you back.

Goodbye. Well, thanks very much.

Au revoir.

Hello, is this George Carver?

Yes. I'm doing research about patient zero for the display on contagious

diseases, and I thought you might... Hello?

Good afternoon, Dick. I've got some good news.

I just had a meeting with the education director of Gilbert Sullivan

Pharmaceuticals, and he loves the project.

Capital! He's interested in signing on as a full corporate sponsor.

That means we can go ahead with the lasers.

Lasers? You enter the Hall of Contagion. Before you, a 20-foot-high hologram of

Patient Zero, flanked on either side by Tau's video monitors.

Red laser... I like your enthusiasm, Dick, but you know we can't afford to be

too ambitious.

I started working in 78. Zero had already been with the airline for a

couple of years.

We became buddies right away.

This is us looking cute in our little uniforms.

Were you aware of his sexual lifestyle?

Well, he told me about all his boyfriends, if that's what you mean.

How long was he able to hide his illness from you?

About two minutes.

He told me everything.

I even went with him to the hospital sometimes when he was having his test.

Tell me about his drug use.

He dabbled. He was never into it as much as I was. You mean you shared needles

with Agent Zero?

No, he didn't use needles. He was mostly into grass and coke. I was the one who

was into junk.

But I quit all that when I was diagnosed.

You have AIDS?

I'm HIV positive.

But if you didn't share needles with him, you must have had sex with him. Sex

with Zero?

Who then?

How? What does it matter?

You know, I was wild back then. Lots of drugs, lots of sex. I don't know how I

got it.

Where's all this leading to anyway?

How can you be sure that it wasn't Zero who infected you?

Listen, I thought this was a documentary about AIDS.

That was our deal. I tell you about Zero and I get to talk about ACT UP.

In good time, my dear lady.

I know how upsetting all this must be for you.

What was Vera's motivation behind purposely infecting so many other men?

Was it revenge or dementia?

All right, that's it. The interview's over. Get out of here, you sleepy

fucker.

Get out!

next with a weekend water sports roundup followed by Harry the Weather Dog who

says it's going to be rough, rough, rough for umbrella owners.

On the entertainment front, at a press conference today, Gilbert Sullivan

Pharmaceuticals awarded $50,000 to the Natural History Museum, becoming chief

sponsor of its upcoming Hall of Contagion exhibition concerning diseases

through the ages.

Chief taxidermist at the museum, Sir Richard Francis Burton, has prepared an

exclusive sneak preview of his patient zero display.

He loved to sleep around. He was very defiant. He said that we were acting

like the sex police.

Even later when he started losing weight, he didn't let that kill our

evenings out. Lots of discos, lots of parties, lots of junk, grass, lots of

sex. Zero was the devil.

Bringing his boyfriend home.

flaunting his lifestyle under our noses.

Burton assures us that his display will cause a King Tut-like sensation when it

opens to the public in two weeks' time.

Well, Wendy, the synchronized swimming championship...

All ready, sir?

Right, here we go.

Many dangerous diseases are transmitted by mammals to humans.

Animal carriers can pass on rabies, risk valley fever, malaria, and numerous

other plagues.

The African green monkey is perhaps the most dangerous since science has tried

to absorb HIV.

I'm

sorry, sir.

Still a few bugs to work out.

Of course.

Yes, Dick.

Now, about the patient zero display.

I had an interesting talk with the vice president of Gilbert Sullivan

Pharmaceuticals. She advised us to make contact with the local ACT UP chapter.

She says that ACT UP is extremely well organized, and if we leave them out,

there's a danger they'll picket the exhibit.

That merry woman on my tape, she's from ACT UP.

I can't work with that venom-spewing vulture.

I think we should create an advisory group. You, me, someone from the

Ministry of Health, Miss Strutting from Gilbert Sullivan, and one or two ACT UP

people.

Have I left anyone out? But they'll want, you know, input.

Oh, I don't think we have to go that far.

You get the ACT UP people to agree, I'll get the rest, and we'll publish the list

of names in our newsletter.

That should take care of it, I think.

Miss Tyson, it's Richard Burton.

No, no, no, please don't hang up.

Oh, you saw the broad talk.

Well, that's why I called.

I must apologize.

It was that damn audiovisual department.

They re-edited the footage without my knowledge.

I agree completely.

Look.

We at the museum want ACT UP to be involved in an official capacity.

Good evening.

My name is Bert.

Dick Bert.

Folks, this is the museum guy I was telling you about.

Introduce yourselves.

My name is Michael.

I've got Kaposi.

A lot of rage and a lot more thorn.

My name is Ross.

He sells cows 60.

My sign is Capricorn.

I'm Ray.

I've had hepatitis.

Stinko's had me thrusted B-C-E-B.

I'm George.

I've got retinitis. I'm taking B-Zero for my P-M-B.

50,000 a year.

You'll vomit, get rashes and headaches.

It won't make you feel that official.

They want a different treatment.

I'm sorry, but it's not released.

It needs approval and faith and testing.

This will be another decade of late.

It'll hurt a little here.

There's more pills that'll keep you up.

I can't explain. I'm in.

Can you drive?

you about patient zero if you've got a minute. You've got to be kidding.

Just a quick interview with you would be invaluable to the project. The Haitian

perspective.

Haitian?

Uh, African?

Well, whatever.

Your viewpoint.

No chance.

You're probably worried about anonymity, job security, that sort of thing, right?

Well, not to worry.

I'm an old hand at disguises.

Forget it.

What about a goatee and spectacles?

Deadlocks and a false note.

Howdy, stranger.

Hey.

How'd the painting party go?

The work seems endless.

I'm going to get a beer. Do you want one?

Sure.

What you looking for?

I don't know. There's some slides of this guy I used to know.

His name came up at the meeting tonight.

Hmm.

Hey, he looks like fun.

I told you about him.

That's Zero, the flight attendant.

He's the straight one, right?

No, that was Steve.

Azir and I were just fuck buddies years ago.

When he got sick, he was the one who

stayed in touch.

I didn't.

Even when he was hospitalized that last time, when he was blind, he phoned to

wish me a happy birthday.

I just didn't like visiting him.

That hospital was just so depressing.

His body... It scared me.

A lot of us dropped him.

It was like he betrayed us.

If Zero the...

prettiest party boy could get sick.

Then, so could we.

And he died.

Lonely.

Angry and alone.

Because we were just too scared.

Could you step to the side?

You can see me.

You're blocking my view.

There seems to be some technical malfunction.

The camera's not reading you.

The asshole can't see me. Look, I'm busy right now, young man. No time to chat.

You don't recognize me?

I'm afraid I... Well... Actually, it's funny, but you do look rather

like...

My God, you're alive.

Well, I'm somewhat overwhelmed.

I meet all sorts of killers in my line of work.

Cannibals, necrophiliacs.

But you're my first gay ghost.

Maybe I infected people.

I didn't know.

Incredible.

I'll put you right in the display itself.

What a coup.

Patient zero.

Speaks from beyond the grave. I'll find a way to stop you.

It's going ahead whether you like it or not.

Look, I'm offering you equal time.

A chance to tell your side of the story.

Let's go back to the museum.

We can talk about it there.

What's it is?

One of my recent successes.

Allow me.

The most famous disease carrier was Typhoid Mary, an Irish cook in the early

20th century who was responsible for a series of typhoid outbreaks in New York.

From 1932 to 1972, the U.S. Public Health Service secretly studied the

effects of untreated tertiary syphilis on 400 black sharecroppers in Tuskegee,

Alabama.

Denied treatment, most went blind or died.

In 1721, the plague swept across Europe from the east and reached Marseilles.

The Dutch imposed a strict quarantine on all shipping vessels in an effort to

contain the epidemic.

They even set fire to suspected plague ships, and the unfortunate sailors were

forced to swim ashore naked or perish in the flames.

Still not working.

Say something.

The terminal essay by Sir Richard Francis Burton in the final volume of

his translation of the Arabian Nights.

On the subject of pederasty.

There exists what I shall call the sotadic zone, so named after the Greek

homosexual poet Sotadis, within which...

The vice of pederasty is popular and endemic.

The strategic zone generally corresponds to those regions enjoying a temperate

climate.

You wrote this in 1885?

Uh-huh.

Well, it's no good.

No picture.

No sound.

I've read all sorts of theories about the origins of homosexuality.

This is a new one.

I had to present my homosexual research in such a way that was unthreatening to

an English readership.

My sotatic theory suggested England was too cold for sodomy to occur.

Ipso facto, my reading public was reassured.

Ipso facto, I could publish without censorship.

You convinced the British Empire that they'd go Homo if they went to the Thani

colonies. Given the time, my presentation of the facts was remarkably

scientific.

And Frank.

I can tell he doesn't quite trust me yet.

These serial killers are so suspicious.

I've got to find a way to keep him here until my camera's fixed.

Well, I know one thing he'll respond to.

Do what you will.

I'm yours.

You look like leftovers in the fridge.

These days, adequate precautions are the sine qua non of amorous encounters.

You thought you were going to give me a charity fuss?

You get lost.

I thought that after three years, you might be a bit pent up.

I can leave.

All this plastic stuff might give me a rash.

Well, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to insult you.

I wanted to make sure you'd stay.

I suppose you'll be leaving now.

Well, it's late. I've got nowhere else to go.

I'll sleep on the floor.

Look, my bed is certainly big enough for both of us.

Which side?

Whichever side you like.

Hey, no more tricks.

Tricks?

Of course not.

I'm so exhausted.

I should warn you, I snore.

I'll survive, I'm sure.

Well, until manana good night

Are

you

awake I never sleep long doc

What's your beat?

I'm a pro at this game and I'd love to chat.

One asshole to another, above this and that.

I tell you I'm no expert, I'm hardly one to talk.

Getting poked is problematic,

I'm not crazy about cork.

You don't like getting fucked?

I haven't heard that before.

One asshole to another is the thing I most adore.

In theory, it's no problem, but in practice, it's a pain.

According to my research, it's a common gay refrain.

The law of the father doesn't recognize the old.

The phallus is a ruler itself.

Cockles in control.

That makes me juvenile.

I'm a polymorphous man.

Oedipus is weeping when my butt I do caress.

I lie down and think of England.

Toot that horn and bang that drum.

It's an insult to the empire when I take it up the bum.

Sex is not for queen and country, you don't need two rams and race.

Sodomy ain't so symbolic, you rectum ain't a grave.

Freud said we have a death wish, getting buggered, getting killed.

This is a costly epidemic, something our subconscious wills. An asshole, just an

asshole, give the analytic crisp.

The meanings are straightforward and cockle in an outcome.

If the asshole ain't so special, then the ballast can't be either.

Patriarchy would crumble if we started getting wiser.

I rest my case now.

Let's have sex.

I have really got to sleep.

You refuse to open up.

My taboos run very deep.

You're now... I can't help it. I'm still

English. My sincere apologies. Good night.

Please confirm ACT UP's participation in museum subcommittee.

Damn.

Miss Piper, you're absolutely right.

Patients here to display must address the ACT UP agenda.

Surely you're not denying me a fair hearing.

Sifting on community input into the creation of their television

advertisement.

Recommendation was accepted.

And this questionnaire will go out to the local AIDS community network mailing

list. Thank you, Ray.

Michael and Ross, you have a report from the Gilbert Sullivan Demo Working Group?

Well, the working committee has bought all the supplies, which came to only 50

bucks. because Ross is dating the cashier at the art supply store.

We have enough foam core, 40 placards, and the Blinded by Greed I-Chart banner

is ready to go.

While ACT UP is marching outside, Michael, Michelle, Peter, and I will

sneak into the loading dock entrance of Gilbert and... Gilbert and Sullivan, and

take the service elevator to the roofer we'll hang the banner on the side of the

building.

George, you have a question?

I know the committee, right, has been working on this demo for a month now.

But I guess what I want to say is that, well, I feel kind of worried about it,

you see, because I'm taking ZP0, trying to save my eyesight, and at the same

time I'm marching outside condemning the same drug.

Well, the price is the big issue.

It's the most expensive AIDS drug ever. I mean, it's $20,000 a year.

How can anybody who doesn't have a drug plan possibly afford that kind of money?

Gilbert and Sullivan said they have no choice. That's how much your research

costs. Well, they're lying.

Treatment and data says the two biggest clinical trials were paid for with

government funding.

You know what they call ZP0 in Europe, don't you?

Zippo. What do you mean?

Well, one of the European trials showed it did no good at all. Well, everything

I've read said it's the best.

All right, folks. We can come back to this at the end of the meeting if you

like. Let's give Mr. Burton his turn.

Is two minutes enough?

Well, I think the complexity of the... Fine.

Two and a half. Go on.

Well, in my capacity as chief diorama artist at the Natural History Museum, I

was advised, after speaking with Ms. Typhus here, to put forward the notion

of a mutually beneficial dialogue, which, in concrete terms, at the end of

the day, taking all factors into consideration, would be predicated upon

your agreement to endorse the involvement of several of your number. I

think Mr.

Burton would like an ACT UP representative on his museum committee.

Any discussion?

Well, taking off my chair cap for the moment, I would like to note that based

on my previous conversations with Mr. Burton, his show, A, perpetuates

bigotry, and B, fetishizes blame. I mean, there's no mention of treatment

issues or the rights of people living with AIDS.

And finally, Gilbert Sullivan is the exhibit's main sponsor.

Any more discussion?

I call the question, all those in favor?

All those opposed?

I'm sorry, Mr. Burton.

You've had your fair hearing. You know the way out.

Our next item on our agenda concerns the housing needs of the homeless PWAs.

George, you're familiar with the study the university's launched?

George? Nothing wrong?

Nothing. That Burton guy upset me.

What a dweeb.

I mean, we.

Our group upset me.

Just the way we talk.

You know, we're always so goddamn confident and certain about everything.

We always know who to blame.

Because we're always right. All doctors are evil, all scientists are corrupt,

all the government officials are opportunists. If we don't present a

united front, we'll never be heard.

The drug company is all controlled by the CIA.

They've got all the money and the power. We've got to be as strategic as

possible.

The world must never know that PWA is actually arguing.

George, that's not the point.

He says the drug is the killer.

He says it's a wonderful cure.

They all say they're certainly certain.

And I say yes.

Nothing for sure.

He says that I can stay healthy.

He says I'm going to die in a year.

They're both positive, sad and positive.

So far, that's all that's there.

I know, I know, I know the number. Day one.

I know, I know, I know that they don't know.

I'm positive I'm here I'm positive I care I'm positive

Bringing his boyfriend home, flaunting his lifestyle under our noses.

Zero never did that. Never.

I'm back.

I see we've made ourselves at home.

You didn't give me much choice.

The door was locked.

What? Oh, that.

That's silly of me.

Force of habit, you know.

Sure.

He deliberately read it to this time.

Well, sometimes the facts have to be rearranged to get at the real truth.

I'm going to make a deal with you.

A deal?

I help you with your stupid display.

It can make me into the biggest slut that ever lived on one condition.

Make me appear.

Well, absolutely, my dear boy.

Just as soon as I discover what's wrong with my camera.

No.

In real life, I want to be alive.

Or not at all.

Thus, scientists have established that this contagious pandemic can be traced

back to the African green monkey.

Lucky thing.

It cannot feel guilty like me.

Guilt, moi?

Oh, stop gawking and start talking. Why should I feel guilty?

Why, you know, being the first one and all.

Excuse me, I think you've got me mixed up with some other simian.

Well, denial's going to get you nowhere.

Everyone knows you're the cause of hate.

Girl can't get a decent night's sleeper anymore.

Bad enough that taxidermist is killing me and stuffing me and sticking his

fingers where they don't belong.

And now you come around nattering and name-calling. Gosh, I need a cigarette,

I gotta tell you.

Well, somewhere there's a connection.

Somehow our flu and men go.

You blood, my cement.

Don't be a dick. I'm not into boys.

No.

But they proved it.

You were the first.

First scapegoat, maybe. That's all. There was never one. Real shred of

evidence. Uh-uh. What the dickens is going on in here?

Get back on your perch, chimp.

Wait, the stuff sure do stuff me, ain't it? She's saying that the monkey theory

isn't true.

You're biased, of course.

The facts all show that AIDS came from Africa.

Ergo, from you.

The experts keep pushing this African origin theory. And why?

Let's see.

Sexy.

Tropical.

It's across the ocean. You're trivializing the worst disease of the

20th century. A contagious disease. Contagious?

I'm sick to death of your stupid, stupid studies, monkey. See, monkey, don't.

Your pet theory is this.

You keep trying to...

All you care about is pointing the finger.

Looking for a scapegoat, someone to blame.

We're sick of you searching for the source of denial.

It's time to refocus, box out of the frame.

Contagious.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, contagious.

CONTATI- CONTATI- CONTATI- CONTATI-

CONTATI-

CONTATI

-

Back off, some more contagious and dangerous.

Watch out, just wait for a twist.

Lock the doors, have the little children.

Don't get caught in the jungle tonight.

If I'd had my sword, I'd made short work of those moth-eaten carcasses.

Suppose we should get dressed now.

Pharmaceutical giant Gilbert Sullivan today announced a record 70% increase in

annual profits, making it one of the largest drug companies in North America.

A spokesperson for the company credits the success of their various AIDS drugs

for the spectacular leap in the company's fortunes. He predicts that

next year's profits will be even more impressive when their new drug, ZP0, is

in full-scale distribution.

Vice President Ms. Anna Strutting also announced the... God.

Good morning, Burton.

Working late again?

Yes, all right, in fact.

Finishing touches.

Part work, you know.

We're opening at ten as usual, you know.

There are alternatives, George.

It's too early to tell, but you can stop taking it if you like.

They thirst for calming ground in private dreams

Here's something.

Experts believe that ghosts wander the earth in search of repentance for their

sins.

Only the fusion of fire and water at zero hour can release them from their

earthly prison.

Yeah. What about girls coming back to life?

Having sex?

Becoming human?

Nothing, I'm afraid.

Whenever someone

lights a cigarette from a candle, the sailor drowns, I think.

We have an apple.

You have a pen.

I have an orange.

I have an apple.

I have an orange.

I have AIDS.

I have AIDS.

We've got to be as strategic as possible.

There's nothing here we can use either.

What if we recut it?

Not to change the meaning, just to give the material a bit of focus.

Shape it.

Mold it a bit. No way.

These are my friends.

We'll treat them decently or not at all.

Well?

I need to find some new material, then.

I've been busy borrowing some files from Dr.

Chang.

The original record for the 1982 cluster study, which established your guilt.

Come to bed.

There's work to do, my boy.

Oh.

Blood time zero.

March 18.

Same old articles.

There's nothing new here.

Unless...

My bloodstream is in bad shape.

Yeah?

That's better.

Not many T-cells left.

Poor things.

They couldn't hurt a fly.

Well, it's clear they've given up.

They're not even trying to work together.

Or at least help.

looks so ashamed.

They can't even produce a decent antibody anymore.

What a bunch of losers.

Hey, who is this?

Why are you scaring everybody?

Hey.

Hey,

you. Bully.

Stop picking on my immune system.

Excuse me, but have we been properly introduced?

Get out of my blood.

I'd love nothing more.

I haven't had a decent conversation in months.

Your monocytes are monosyllabic. Your red cells are redneck.

And as for the other viruses, well, does the phrase more wine with your

dinner mean anything to you?

Zero? What the dickens are you up to?

It's HIV.

What? HIV?

You destroyed my immune system. You killed me.

Like it or not, despite all the research, despite billions of dollars,

not one reputable scientist has proven absolutely and conclusively that I

disable people's immune systems.

If you didn't kill me, who did? Look around.

Your blood is chock full of all these big-headed, sick-making pathogens who

want the credit.

I couldn't agree more, Miss HIV.

Smart people now think I'm the real cause.

Nonsense! All the best research points to me. AIDS is actually untreated

tertiary syphilis, darling.

Oh.

All this focus on the immune system.

Really. I'm the one who makes people go blind.

I'm the one who actually kills.

Maybe it's some special combination of the four of us.

Join hands and kick, darling.

We'll do the cofactorial conga.

Miss HIV, what about all the safer sex business?

Safe sex is vital.

You of all people should know that, Zero.

For better or worse, that famous flawed cluster soap opera you starred in back

in 1982 convinced everyone that safe sex is crucial.

Well, that story proved I brought hate to North America.

That data merely documents that you slept with the men who slept with the

men, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But it takes much longer than that.

Sometimes as long as ten years to manifest chronic symptoms.

The men I slept with might already have been infected?

Exactly. They might even have infected you, for all we know.

Well, then I wasn't the first.

Of course not.

Scientists have since documented cases of AIDS in North America at least as

early as the 60s. Most importantly, why should it matter who was the first?

I'm alive.

Wait.

Turn a bit the camera.

I'm innocent.

Say that again.

I'm not the first.

I'm still the best.

New York, San Francisco, spent a lot of time there.

I'm going to about a thousand.

Second coming only lasted five minutes.

I've been working around the clock, too excited to eat or sleep.

Zero's innocence changes everything.

I've had to revise my entire analysis, of course, but it's all worth it.

The new display is going to be absolutely electrifying. A resounding

slap in the face of scientific orthodoxy.

Zero doesn't seem to understand the implications.

He's been acting moody and depressed.

I'm not the first.

I'm still the best.

From the start, AIDS was not only an epidemic of medicine, but also an

epidemic of blame.

Haitians, gay men, prostitutes, drug users, Africans.

These were just some of the so-called carriers.

constructed by hysterical headlines and hypocritical governance.

Unscrupulous scientists have asserted without evidence that the African green

monkey is the source, that HIV is the cause, and that patient zero brought

AIDS to North America.

In fact, none of these so-called facts have been proven.

Patient zero should actually be acclaimed a hero of the epidemic.

Through his cooperation in the 1982 cluster study, He helped prove that AIDS

was sexually transmitted.

The answer zero should be lauded as the slut who inspired safer sex.

Well, thanks for nothing.

Oh, don't you see?

This display will publicly clear your name.

You'll be hailed as a cutting-edge AIDS activist.

Bullshit. But we've got to make the world see that you're innocent.

Well, this has nothing to do with me.

With who I was. With what I want.

He'll be remembered as a hero.

Well, you want to know how I want to be remembered?

A photo in my mom's fridge.

A slide in George's window.

That's real.

This is just another of your lies.

I admit that when I started, my intentions were... were a little bit

suspect.

But I've changed.

You've changed me.

I'm doing this for you.

For me?

You were supposed to make me appear.

You made me appear five minutes. Just long enough to finish off your display.

That's all what you care about.

Your display.

Your carrier.

Your museum.

Wait.

No. There's no life for me here. I want to be dead again.

I don't understand.

No, you don't.

This afternoon, AIDS activists marched outside the downtown offices of the

pharmaceutical multinational Gilbert Sullivan.

Demonstrators want the new treatment drug, ZB-0, to be made available at

greatly reduced rates for any person with AIDS who might need it. We're on

the front steps of Gilbert Sullivan now. ZB-0 is an expensive and several drugs

currently available, which are thought to treat AIDS-related blindness caused

by... Oh, there's Ray.

He's chanting.

Now he's flirting with that new guy, Jeremy.

Oh, Andrew's blocking me now.

Hogging the spotlight as usual.

Michael and Ross are poking their heads out.

The banner looks incredible.

Security guards are grabbing him now.

In sports news, the Canadian synchronized swimming team made history

when a men's pair, the only men competing in the Stockholm World Finals,

scored top marks for the routine based on really important parts of the

character. Their performance earned them a gold medal.

There are six or seven things that I wanted to say Simple

things in a simple way How is that book

you're reading?

A list of things I just keep on repeating

The way you

made

me feel a little bit.

I've got now a six or seven.

A candle, a bow, a picture of you. A

hurt in my heart because I can't forget the things

we can't ever do.

I forgot to say.

Simple words in a simple way.

It feels so strange to discover the

seventh word.

I could have said word lover.

There are six or seven things that I can't forgive.

That couldn't see you, myself who couldn't keep you You're gone, you left

so sadly I want you back,

want you back so badly

All I've got now

What do you mean you're not ready? You've never missed a deadline in your

life.

Well, say something, Dick.

I'm sorry, sir.

I guess you'll have to cancel the display.

Don't be ridiculous.

Where's the first version, Dick?

The one we showed at the press conference.

What?

You can't... Sir.

I like this one better anyway.

But you can't show that.

I'll speak about this later.

You wanted $60,000. I had to cancel it.

Anyway, I think if you take your seat now, I'll begin the presentation.

All right, everyone, we'll start now.

He loved to sleep around.

He was very defiant.

He told us that we were asking lots of sex police.

Even later when he started losing weight, he didn't let that kill our

evening out.

Lots of disco, lots of parties, lots of junk.

Grab.

Lots of sex.

Zero was the devil.

Stop.

Stop. This display is all wrong.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press.

There's no such thing as a patient zero, really.

What do you mean there's no patient zero? We read the press release.

Patient zero is a myth. Get out of the way, mister. We want to see the show.

This is my lead item and I'm going with it.

It's my fault, Dick. I should have seen that you've been working too hard.

The pressure got to you. Rest now. We'll talk in the morning.

The display profiles a promiscuous Quebecois flight attendant who had

hundreds of homosexual partners on four continents.

Record attendant figures were set today as the museum's Patient Zero display

opened to the public. ...was started by a promiscuous gay man they call Patient

Zero.

What's the time? Zero hour. How much patience?

None. What's the time? Zero hour.

How much patience?

None.

You've come back.

Yeah.

There's nowhere else for me to go.

I... I tried to stop the display. I really did.

I know what you mean now.

I was wrong.

And I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

I know you can't make me alive.

You...

Anybody.

We'll keep trying.

We'll sneak into a research laboratory, find a chemical formula to make you

feel... You talk too much.

Need you.

Help me.

I'm not the first, but I'm still the best.

Make me true, make me clear.

Make me disappear.

Make me disappear.

What's the time?

I'm a station.

What's the crime?

Zero hour.

How much paper?

None.

Is that a light thing?

We don't need to mourn today.

Be with people who matter. Tell a tale, take a chance.

A chance we should have had before

we took paradise.

We'll be right back.

Tell a tale that must be told.

A lifetime's brave and sad.

Sing for me the paradise.

We've been told a thousand stories.

None of them seem right.

Thank you.

Thank you.