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1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,536
DON'T MIND IF I DO, JERRY.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
2
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:07,539
AND THAT'S BECAUSE TODAY,
AS PROMISED, AT WKRP,
3
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:11,477
WE'RE GOING TO SHOW YOU THE EFFECTS
OF ALCOHOL UPON THE AVERAGE DRIVER.
4
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:14,179
AND TO GRAPHICALLY
BRING THAT POINT HOME,
5
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:18,483
VENUS FLYTRAP AND I WILL STAY
ON THE AIR AS LONG AS WE CAN...
6
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:21,687
HAVING ONE DRINK
EVERY 15 MINUTES.
7
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:25,891
IT'S, UH... IT'S NOT A PRETTY JOB,
BUT SOMEBODY'S GOTTA DO IT. VENUS?
8
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:30,395
WITH US TODAY IS HIGHWAY
PATROLMAN, R.F. BUDDY PLYLER.
9
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:33,432
HE'S GONNA TEST OUR REFLEXES
AND JUDGMENT AS WE GO ALONG.
10
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,767
OFFICER PLYLER, WOULD
YOU EXPLAIN THIS, PLEASE?
11
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,836
ALL RIGHTY.
12
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:41,239
I HAVE WITH ME A STANDARD...
13
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:46,344
914 AUTOMATICALLY TIMED REFLEX
AUTOMATOR FOR HAND REACTION.
14
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:50,348
IT'S USED TO TEST THE
SUBJECT'S MOTOR SKILLS.
15
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:54,986
ALL RIGHT. WHO GOES FIRST? HIM.
16
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,422
ALL RIGHT, DR. FEVER.
17
00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,325
YOU ARE PRESENTLY SOBER.
18
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,327
IF YOU SAY SO.
19
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,798
THAT'S... THAT'S VERY GOOD.
20
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,935
OKAY. UM, YOU, UH,
21
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,204
PUT YOUR HAND ON THIS BUTTON.
22
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,940
MM-HMM. AND WHEN I SAY "GO,"
23
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,942
YOU PRESS THE OTHER BUTTON.
24
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,010
RIGHT. I THINK I
UNDERSTAND THAT, OFFICER...
25
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,880
GO!
26
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:28,438
OFFICER PLYLER IS NOW
CHECKING DR. FEVER'S SCORE.
27
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,455
HOW DID HE DO?
28
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:33,058
WELL, ACCORDING TO THIS,
29
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:36,361
UH, COMPLETELY SOBER,
30
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,563
HE HAS THE REACTION
TIME OF A MAN...
31
00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:41,532
WHO HAS HAD SIX VODKA MARTINIS.
32
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:49,641
♪ BABY IF YOU'VE EVER WONDERED ♪
33
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:53,612
♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪
34
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:57,015
♪ I'M LIVING ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪
35
00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:02,654
♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪
36
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:06,558
♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKING AND UNPACKING ♪
37
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,828
♪ TOWN TO TOWN UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪
38
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:14,832
♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪
39
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:19,304
♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪
40
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,672
♪ I'M AT WKRP ♪
41
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:24,943
♪ IN CINCINNATI ♪♪
42
00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:43,328
- GOOD MORNING, JENNIFER.
- OH, ANDY, HOW ARE JOHNNY
AND VENUS DOING?
43
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,442
THEY'RE DOING FINE. THEY
JUST TOOK THEIR FIRST DRINK.
44
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:48,767
WE'VE HAD A LOT OF CALLS ON IT
ALREADY. REALLY? THAT'S TERRIFIC.
45
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:53,037
LISTEN, I'M EXPECTING A REPORTER SOME
TIME TODAY FROM THE CINCINNATI MAGAZINE.
46
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:56,308
REALLY? WHY? THEY
WANNA DO A STORY...
47
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,343
ON HOW THE STATION'S DONE
SINCE THE FORMAT CHANGE.
48
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:01,732
DON'T WORRY. I'LL GET RID OF
HIM. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
49
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,715
LISTEN. WE'RE DOING FINE.
50
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:07,452
WE GOT THE DRUNK DRIVING CAMPAIGN
GOING. THE STATION'S BEING REPAINTED.
51
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,822
ACTUALLY, THIS IS A VERY GOOD
DAY TO IMPRESS A REPORTER.
52
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,058
IF YOU SAY SO.
53
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:16,486
WELL, HELLO THERE. YOU,
UH... YOU JUST GET STARTED?
54
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:19,497
NO. I'VE BEEN AT
IT ABOUT AN HOUR.
55
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,307
EXCUSE ME.
56
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:33,778
THAT'S FINE. OH, HI, TRAVIS.
57
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,214
UH, WHAT IS THIS?
58
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,360
WELL, WHAT DO YA
THINK? I DON'T KNOW.
59
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:41,052
IT'S HERB. TAKE
YOUR HEAD OFF, HERB.
60
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,054
SURELY.
61
00:03:43,122 --> 00:03:45,256
HI, ANDY.
62
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,261
HERB.
63
00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:52,598
WELL, TRAVIS, DON'T
YOU GET IT? NO.
64
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:57,068
KRP SPELLS "CARP."
CARP'S A FISH.
65
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,270
THIS IS OUR STATION MASCOT.
66
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:01,272
I'M A GIANT CARP, ANDY.
67
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:06,311
I KNOW YOU ARE, HERB.
68
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:08,357
LISTEN. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL
ME SOMETHING ABOUT THIS?
69
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:12,117
BECAUSE I'M THE STATION MANAGER. I CAN
HAVE A FEW IDEAS ON MY OWN, YOU KNOW.
70
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:15,353
THIS ONE HAPPENS TO BE MY BABY.
71
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:18,322
I'M SENDING HIM OVER TO THE
UNIVERSITY OF CINCINNATI FOR A PEP RALLY.
72
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,826
WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
73
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,495
STATIONS ALL ACROSS THE
COUNTRY HAVE GOT MASCOTS.
74
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,297
YOU KNOW, OF COURSE,
THERE'S A GUY FROM WPIG...
75
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,633
GOING ALL OVER
CINCINNATI IN A PIG SUIT.
76
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,135
LOOK, YOU GOTTA
FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE.
77
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:33,605
COME ON. RADIO'S A
COMPETITIVE BUSINESS.
78
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:36,307
I-I-I GIVE UP.
79
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,343
HERB? HUH?
80
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,645
JUST DON'T GET INTO
ANY TROUBLE, ALL RIGHT?
81
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,748
WHAT COULD HAPPEN?
82
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,916
GOOD MORNING, ANDY. LES.
83
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,918
MR. CARLSON. LES.
84
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,987
HERB?
85
00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:52,824
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
86
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,104
OH, NOTHING, HERB.
NOTHING AT ALL.
87
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,930
I JUST ALWAYS PICTURED YOU
MORE AS A BLOWFISH THAN A CARP.
88
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:04,068
LISTEN, NESSMAN, THIS IS
SERIOUS BUSINESS. I'M SORRY, SIR.
89
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,405
READY TO GO, HERB? YEAH.
90
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,874
HI. HAS ANYBODY SEEN HERB?
91
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,544
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
92
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:14,746
WELL, HERB,
93
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:18,683
IF YOU ARE IN THERE, THIS IS THE
ADVERTISING COPY THAT YOU WANTED.
94
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,864
OH, GOOD. LET ME
TAKE A LOOK AT THAT.
95
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,388
HOLD IT, BAILEY. FORGET
ABOUT THE COPY, WILL YA?
96
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:26,858
WOULD YOU MIND GOING TO THE UNIVERSITY
WITH HERB AND LES, KEEP AN EYE ON 'EM?
97
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,694
NO, I GUESS NOT.
98
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:31,307
WE BETTER GET GOING. YEAH,
LET'S GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD.
99
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,932
WAIT A MINUTE, HERB. HMM?
100
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,000
KNOCK 'EM DEAD.
101
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,336
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME, BIG GUY.
102
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,741
ANDY, MR. STONE CALLED
AND SAID HE'LL BE HERE AT 11:00.
103
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:46,377
OH, GOOD. HIYA, GORGEOUS. HOW
'BOUT A COUPLE OF DRINKS AFTER WORK?
104
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:48,446
SORRY, CHARLIE.
105
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:57,188
I'LL GO FIRST THIS TIME.
ALL RIGHT, MR. FLYTRAP.
106
00:05:57,256 --> 00:06:00,124
JUST, UH, PUT YOUR
HAND ON BUTTON ONE. GO!
107
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,229
WELL, VERY GOOD.
108
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:08,700
TWO DRINKS HAS HAD, UH,
VERY LITTLE EFFECT ON YOU.
109
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:11,246
HEY, YOU'RE TALKIN'
TO THE MAN HERE.
110
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:14,249
A COUPLE A LITTLE DRINKS
DON'T MEAN NOTHING TO THE TRAP.
111
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:17,475
OH, BUT, UH, EVEN
AFTER ONE DRINK,
112
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:21,012
YOUR REFLEXES SLOWED ALMOST 10%.
113
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,781
NO!
114
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,050
THAT IS THE POINT OF THE TEST.
115
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:30,889
PEOPLE THINK THAT THEY'RE SOBER
ENOUGH TO DRIVE WHEN, IN FACT, THEY'RE NOT.
116
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:34,392
YOUR TURN, DR. FEVER. SURE.
117
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:39,697
DON'T YOU SAY "START" OR
"NOW" OR SOMETHING... GO!
118
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,804
MAN, THAT WAS SLOW.
119
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,439
YEAH, WELL, HE
ALWAYS SURPRISES ME.
120
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,678
HOW DID I DO? AFTER
TWO DRINKS, UH,
121
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:56,714
YOU NOW HAVE THE
REACTION TIME OF A MAN...
122
00:06:56,783 --> 00:07:00,084
WHO'S HAD FIVE VODKA MARTINIS.
123
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,154
I'M GETTING BETTER.
124
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:17,068
HIYA. HOW'S IT GOING?
125
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,807
GOT A COUSIN THAT
LOOKS LIKE THAT.
126
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,846
HOW'S SCHOOL?
127
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,883
GET IT? HOW'S SCHOOL?
128
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,798
A DIME?
129
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,434
IT'S TAKEN! SORRY.
130
00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,744
HEY, LES!
131
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,182
OH, LES!
132
00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:32,010
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
133
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:37,748
SORRY. I RAN OUT OF CHANGE.
HOLD THAT DOOR, PLEASE.
134
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,720
THANKS A LOT.
WHY, THAT'S ILLEGAL.
135
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:45,423
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED
OF YOURSELF. I SAID I'M SORRY.
136
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:49,194
WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS AGAINST THE
LAW. YOU OWE SOMEBODY 10 CENTS.
137
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,429
I SAID I'M SORRY, FATSO.
138
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:57,134
MR. CARLSON. SIR. HUH?
139
00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,371
QUENTIN STONE FROM CINCINNATI
MAGAZINE. QUENTIN, THIS IS ARTHUR CARLSON.
140
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,708
UH, UH, WELL, IT'S A PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU, MR. STONE.
141
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:09,013
YOU KNOW, A MENTION IN YOUR MAGAZINE
WOULD SURE BE IMPORTANT TO US.
142
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,116
ALL OF OUR SPONSORS
READ YOUR PUBLICATION.
143
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:14,085
THIS IS NOT A P.R. PIECE.
THIS IS AN IN-DEPTH STORY.
144
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,532
NO KIDDING. OH,
THAT'S WONDERFUL. YES.
145
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:20,125
GENTLEMEN, WHY DON'T YOU PULL
UP A COUPLE OF CHAIRS AND SIT DOWN.
146
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,260
AND, WELL, LET'S JUST, UH...
147
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:26,865
LET'S JUST TALK ABOUT THIS CRAZY
BUSINESS WE CALL RADIO, HUH?
148
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:29,040
SORRY BAILEY AND I GOT
SEPARATED FROM YOU, BUT
149
00:09:29,064 --> 00:09:31,102
WE THOUGHT WE OUGHT
TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.
150
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,405
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?
151
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,506
A HAM SANDWICH.
152
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,853
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THAT, MR. PIG?
153
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:40,678
OH, GOD, YOU'RE SO IMMATURE.
154
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:44,382
OH. SAY, AREN'T
YOU THE WPIG PIG?
155
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:47,230
- MERELY TEMPORARY.
- LES! LES!
156
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:50,688
WE'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE,
BAILEY. WE'RE FROM WKRP.
157
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:54,070
I'M LES NESSMAN, TWO-TIME WINNER
OF THE BUCKEYE NEWSHAWK AWARD.
158
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:58,563
I SOMETIMES LISTEN TO YOUR NEWS
REPORTS WHEN I NEED A LAUGH OR TWO.
159
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,977
HERB, WOULD YOU HOLD
THIS FOR ME, PLEASE?
160
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:06,371
TAKE IT EASY, LES. HE DOESN'T
MEAN ANYTHING. NOW GET 'EM UP.
161
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,441
- I BEG YOUR PARDON?
- PUT 'EM UP, PIG.
162
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:14,145
- DEFEND YOURSELF, SIR!
- NOW WAIT, WAIT! HOLD IT! WAIT A MINUTE!
163
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,580
NOW CAN'T WE PLEASE
ACT LIKE ADULTS?
164
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,883
GET YOUR FIN OFF ME.
165
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,419
DON'T PUSH ME, PORKY!
166
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:26,357
QUENTIN HERE IS INTERESTED IN HOW THE
STATION HAS DONE SINCE THE FORMAT CHANGE.
167
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:30,862
OH. WELL, TELL YOU WHAT. THINGS HAVE
JUST MOVED ALONG AS SMOOTH AS GLASS.
168
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:33,664
OF COURSE, ANDY CAN TAKE
CREDIT FOR MOST OF THAT.
169
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:36,701
ALTHOUGH I KEEP MY
HAND IN THERE OF COURSE.
170
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,675
HOW?
171
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:47,979
HOW? WELL... HOW WHAT?
172
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,282
HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR HAND IN IT?
173
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:55,320
OH, YEAH. KEEP MY HAND
IN IT. WELL, YOU KNOW,
174
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:59,691
PUBLIC RELATIONS, COMMUNITY
RELATIONS, STATION PROMOTIONS.
175
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:02,727
YOU KNOW, I HANDLE ALL THE
ROUGH STUFF. FOR EXAMPLE?
176
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,896
WHAT? FOR EXAMPLE?
177
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:09,000
OH, YEAH, EXAMPLE.
WELL, I, UH... I, UH...
178
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:13,304
WELL, I WAS IN CHARGE OF THE STATION'S
THANKSGIVING PROMOTION THIS YEAR.
179
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,707
THAT WAS RATHER INTERESTING.
180
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:17,352
YES, I THINK I HEARD
ABOUT THAT. YOU
181
00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:19,377
ACCIDENTALLY KILLED
SOME TURKEYS, DIDN'T YOU?
182
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:25,783
I THINK "ACCIDENTALLY" IS THE
OPERATIVE WORD THERE, MR. STONE.
183
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,997
WE HAVE MADE A FEW MINOR
MISTAKES HERE AND THERE,
184
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:31,289
BUT YOU'LL FIND BASICALLY THIS IS A
VERY PROFESSIONALLY RUN RADIO STATION.
185
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,628
HEY, WHITE FOLKS!
186
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:42,766
WHAT'S HAPPENING IN
THE EXECUTIVE SUITE?
187
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:44,835
HELLO, VENUS.
188
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,040
SURE IS BRIGHT IN HERE.
189
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:53,745
VENUS IS ONE OF OUR DEEJAYS. HE'S
NOW INVOLVED IN THE DRUNK PROMOTION.
190
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:57,715
THE WHAT? YEAH,
BUT I AIN'T DRUNK.
191
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,784
THE COP THINKS I'M DRUNK.
192
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:02,954
BUT OLD VENUS HAS PULLED
THE WOOL OVER THE FUZZ'S EYES.
193
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,990
VENUS, WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU?
194
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,029
I WANT A HAT!
195
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:14,832
I NEED A HAT. COP'S GOT
A HAT. I WANT A HAT TOO.
196
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,901
UH, COP? WHAT COP? UH, A COP?
197
00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:19,570
YEAH, I THINK I'VE GOT
A FISHING HAT RIGHT...
198
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:22,440
I THOUGHT SO!
199
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:26,310
EVERY NOW AND THEN, I GET THIS
UNCONTROLLABLE DESIRE TO WEAR A HAT.
200
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:30,815
AH!
201
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:33,818
NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.
202
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,890
EXCUSE ME A MINUTE.
ARE YOU ON THE AIR HERE?
203
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:41,159
ON THE AIR?
204
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:43,861
I AM THE AIR!
205
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:47,632
I'M THE WIND! THANKS
FOR THE LID, ART.
206
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,407
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
207
00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:58,876
BAILEY, DON'T COME IN
HERE! THIS IS THE MEN'S ROOM!
208
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,211
I KNOW THAT, LES, BUT
YOU WOULDN'T COME OUT.
209
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,080
BAILEY, GIRLS AREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED
TO KNOW WHAT THESE PLACES LOOK LIKE!
210
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:10,187
KEEP OFF OF HIS TAIL! YOU PIG!
211
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:25,270
♪♪
212
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,806
♪♪ WE'RE BACK ON THE
AIR WITH OFFICER PLYLER.
213
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:31,175
WE'RE ON OUR SIXTH DRINK.
WHAT'S NEXT, OFFICER?
214
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:34,145
WELL, WE'LL DO THE
TEST ONE MORE TIME.
215
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:36,914
RIGHT. GO!
216
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:43,087
WAY TO GO, JOHNNY!
217
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,725
YOU'RE DOING GOOD,
MAN. UH, DO IT AGAIN.
218
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,726
SURE. GO!
219
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,697
THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.
220
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:56,267
HA! HEY, JOHNNY, TURN
PRO. FORGET THE OLYMPICS.
221
00:13:56,335 --> 00:14:02,072
THIS TEST HAS BEEN GIVEN TO HUNDREDS
OF PEOPLE. NO ONE EVER GOT BETTER!
222
00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:07,778
HAVE ANOTHER DRINK.
WHY, IT'S NOT TIME YET.
223
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:11,316
I AM ORDERING YOU TO
HAVE ANOTHER DRINK!
224
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,885
OKAY. DON'T GET
EXCITED. JUST TAKE IT EASY.
225
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,887
I AM TAKING IT EASY! OKAY.
226
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:19,224
LET'S ALL HAVE ANOTHER DRINK.
227
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:22,571
I PROPOSE A TOAST TO LAW
ENFORCEMENT EVERYWHERE.
228
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:27,631
THIS TEST IS TO PROVE THAT EVEN AFTER
ONE DRINK, PEOPLE ARE NOT GOOD DRIVERS.
229
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,201
NOW THIS MAN HERE... VENUS.
230
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:35,173
UH, YEAH. THIS MAN HERE
WAS AFFECTED IMMEDIATELY.
231
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,242
NOW, THAT IS NORMAL.
232
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,322
LET'S ME AND YOU SWAP HATS.
233
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:43,581
YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY BUILT UP A
SUPERHUMAN TOLERANCE TO ALCOHOL!
234
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,417
YES, IT'S TRUE. IT WAS
ONCE SORT OF A HOBBY.
235
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:51,388
WELL, THERE IS DEFINITELY
SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
236
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,818
I'M A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS TOO.
237
00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:57,567
OFFICER, I SUGGEST
YOU SHOOT THIS MAN.
238
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:02,500
AT LEAST WING HIM. FIRE AT WILL!
239
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:06,337
YOU SHUT UP! YOU KEEP DRINKING.
240
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:10,074
OKAY, BUT I'M NOT GONNA GET
DRUNK. OH, YES, YOU ARE TOO.
241
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,076
YOU'LL SEE.
242
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,846
HE'S FROM MARS, OFFICER.
243
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,948
WHISKEY DOES NOT
AFFECT ALIEN BEINGS.
244
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,619
GIVE ME THAT!
245
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,654
♪♪
246
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:27,692
NOW, LISTEN. ABOUT THIS DRUNK
THING, IT'S NO BIG THING, REALLY.
247
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,928
- A LOT OF STATIONS DO IT. WE FIND THAT...
- EXCUSE ME.
248
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,997
YES?
249
00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,900
- THERE IS A SLIGHT PROBLEM.
- WHAT PROBLEM?
250
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:39,170
WELL, PERHAPS WE SHOULD
DISCUSS IT IN THE LOBBY.
251
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,772
OKAY. SOMETHING THAT
YOU'D RATHER I NOT HEAR?
252
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:45,276
OH, NO. WE HAVE NO SECRETS
HERE. JENNIFER, GO AHEAD.
253
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,211
HERB'S IN JAIL.
254
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,258
OH, BOY. WHO'S HERB?
255
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:52,127
THE SALES MANAGER. I HAVE TO
START WRITING SOME OF THIS DOWN.
256
00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:54,419
THEY'VE ARRESTED LES ALSO.
257
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,288
WHO'S LES? HE'S
OUR NEWS DIRECTOR.
258
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:59,835
I SEE. WHERE'S BAILEY?
259
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,759
THEY'VE GOT HER TOO.
260
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:04,328
WHAT DOES SHE DO?
CONTINUITY AND PROMOTION.
261
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:08,099
LOOK, SHE IS VERY PROFESSIONAL.
WHAT'D THEY ARREST BAILEY FOR?
262
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:10,167
I'M NOT SURE.
263
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:13,804
SOMETHING ABOUT "HANGING
OUT IN THE MEN'S RESTROOM."
264
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,242
WHAT A STORY!
265
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:20,544
UH, I-I-I THINK I'LL GO
DOWN AND-AND BAIL 'EM OUT.
266
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:24,015
TRAVIS, UH, SHOW MR. STONE
AROUND. OH, CERTAINLY.
267
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,751
LISTEN, QUENTIN. WHY DON'T
WE TALK ABOUT THIS IN MY OFFICE.
268
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:30,388
OH, SURE. YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I SEND
THESE STORIES TO THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER.
269
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:32,690
WAIT A MINUTE. I CAN
EXPLAIN THIS WHOLE THING.
270
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:37,262
ANDY, I'VE GOTTA HAVE SOME CASH
FOR BAIL. I ONLY GOT ABOUT FIVE BUCKS.
271
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,497
HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED?
272
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,366
WELL, I DON'T KNOW, REALLY.
I IMAGINE AROUND $500.
273
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,468
I'LL GET MY PURSE.
274
00:16:53,647 --> 00:16:55,613
HI, JOHNNY. HI.
275
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,982
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE DRUNK BY NOW.
276
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:02,287
NAH. BUT THIS IS MY
SIXTH TRIP DOWN THE HALL.
277
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:09,727
YOU KNOW, THE LITTLE LADY
AND I HAVE THIS ARRANGEMENT.
278
00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:12,096
OH, REALLY? YEAH.
279
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:15,133
SHE KNOWS I MESS AROUND
A LITTLE. BUT SHE FIGURES,
280
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,635
"WHAT THE HECK. I'D RATHER
SHARE HIM THAN LOSE HIM."
281
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:22,584
WELL, IF WE EVER GOT TOGETHER,
282
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:26,077
I'D HAVE TO HAVE ALL OF YOU.
283
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,079
GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
284
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,588
WELL, YOU JUST THINK ABOUT IT.
285
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,550
YES, MA'AM.
286
00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:38,655
WHY IS YOUR NEWS
DIRECTOR IN JAIL?
287
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,824
AHA. FAIR QUESTION.
288
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:46,130
UH, PERHAPS HE WITHHELD
HIS SOURCE. HOW 'BOUT THAT?
289
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:50,368
THAT WOULDN'T EXPLAIN WHY YOUR
SALES MANAGER'S IN JAIL WITH HIM.
290
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:53,404
NO. NO, IT WOULDN'T.
291
00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:57,241
BUT WHAT IF THE SALES
MANAGER WENT DOWN TO THE JAIL...
292
00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:00,912
TRYING ONLY TO BAIL
OUT THE NEWS DIRECTOR?
293
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:04,148
THAT'S A POSSIBILITY,
ISN'T IT? I GUESS.
294
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,217
SURE IT IS.
295
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:12,523
WHY WAS THE, UM...
LADY IN THE MEN'S ROOM?
296
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,958
I'M GLAD YOU ASKED ME THAT.
297
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,562
WHY WAS THE LADY
IN THE MEN'S ROOM?
298
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,899
WHY WAS THE LADY
IN THE MEN'S ROOM?
299
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,736
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
TELL ME THE TRUTH, ANDY?
300
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:29,506
OKAY, YOU WIN.
301
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:31,695
I'LL START FROM THE BEGINNING.
302
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:36,413
OF COURSE YOU'VE HEARD OF
THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.
303
00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:55,177
I SHOULD LIKE TO SEE THE STATION
MANAGER, PLEASE. I HAVE A COMPLAINT.
304
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:59,636
I'M SORRY. HE'S NOT IN. VERY WELL. THEN I
SHOULD LIKE TO SEE THE PROGRAM DIRECTOR.
305
00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:02,406
YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT.
HE'S IN A MEETING.
306
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,509
SPLENDID. SPLENDID.
307
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,420
YOU MISSED A SPOT.
308
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,388
WHERE? RIGHT THERE.
309
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:21,525
WELL, UH, DO YOU WANNA DO IT?
310
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:23,594
NO, THANK YOU. I...
311
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:28,699
YES. I WOULD BE DELIGHTED.
312
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,702
I'M GOING IN THE BACK
AND TALK TO THAT GAL.
313
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:34,305
SHE'S KIND OF SWEET ON ME.
314
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:01,766
I'M DRUNK. OH, I KNEW IT!
315
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:04,935
I JUST SAW A GIANT PIG.
316
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,671
GOOD. GOOD. LET'S
GET ON THE AIR.
317
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,874
COME AND SIT RIGHT
DOWN HERE. SURE.
318
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,843
THERE. WE'LL, UH,
DO THE TEST AGAIN.
319
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,913
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
SPEAK INTO THE MIKE.
320
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:18,382
OH, YES.
321
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:21,452
♪♪
322
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:25,656
♪♪ ALL RIGHT, FELLOW BABIES.
323
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:30,828
THAT WAS THE... AND THIS IS SORT
OF JOHNNY FEVER, KIND OF, DOCTOR.
324
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:34,365
AND AFTER NINE DRINKS,
325
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,802
VENUS FLYTRAP IS CATATONIC.
326
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:42,206
AND I, MYSELF,
327
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:45,943
HAVE PERSONALLY
JUST SEEN A GIANT PIG.
328
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:51,948
HE IS CURRENTLY PAINTING
THE WALLS OF OUR LOBBY.
329
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:54,718
YES, HE IS OBVIOUSLY DRUNK,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
330
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:58,255
YES, HE IS. AND I'M NOT
FEELING BADLY MYSELF.
331
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:02,526
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
DO THE TEST. SURE.
332
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,464
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL PROVE
ONCE AND FOR ALL...
333
00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:10,234
THAT PEOPLE'S REACTIONS
GET SLOWER, NOT FASTER.
334
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:14,104
- ARE YOU SURE
THAT YOU'RE READY?
- I AM... SURE.
335
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:16,106
GO!
336
00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:18,409
THEY'RE OFF!
337
00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:20,844
IMPOSSIBLE.
338
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:24,782
HOW DID I DO? PLAY A RECORD.
339
00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:27,385
HUH? PLAY A RECORD!
340
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,553
ALL RIGHT.
341
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,122
♪♪
342
00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:35,192
LIFE CAN BE FAIR! WHOO!
343
00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:41,228
SO, ANYWAY, QUENTIN,
I'M SORRY. I SHOULD HAVE
344
00:21:41,252 --> 00:21:43,301
JUST TOLD YOU THE DUMB
TRUTH FROM THE BEGINNING.
345
00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:46,081
I GUESS I JUST GOT YOU
ON A BAD DAY, ANDY. YEAH.
346
00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:50,107
I'M GLAD YOU UNDERSTAND THAT. I STILL THINK
I CAN GET A REAL NICE STORY OUT OF THIS.
347
00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:53,710
MAN, WE WOULD APPRECIATE THAT. COME
BACK TO THE STATION ANY TIME, LOOK AROUND.
348
00:21:53,779 --> 00:21:56,980
I'D LIKE TO.
349
00:21:57,049 --> 00:22:00,150
IF EITHER ONE OF YOU
EVER AGAIN... IT'S LES'S FAULT.
350
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:03,454
- SO WE MEET AGAIN.
- IT'S THE PIG.
351
00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:07,991
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I AM HERE TO HAVE
YOU TWO FIRED.
352
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:10,861
YOU CAN'T DO THAT, PORKY!
353
00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:14,565
YOU KNOW NOTHING, YOU LITTLE
TWIT, JUST LIKE YOUR NEWS REPORTS.
354
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:17,468
TAKE IT EASY, LES. GET
OUTTA MY WAY, HERB!
355
00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:20,638
COME BACK ANY TIME. TAKE A PEAK
AROUND THE STATION. IT'S BEEN MY PLEASURE.
356
00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:23,607
TAKE THIS, YOU SWINE!
357
00:22:29,415 --> 00:22:33,117
HEY, WAIT, QUENTIN. DON'T GO AWAY MAD.
THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM.
358
00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:41,692
♪♪
359
00:22:45,164 --> 00:22:48,498
♪♪
360
00:22:57,076 --> 00:23:00,411
♪♪
361
00:23:13,792 --> 00:23:15,726
♪♪
27899
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