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1
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,145
WHAT'S THE BIG NEWS
STORY OF THE DAY, LES?
2
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:16,915
BILLY CARTER THREW
UP ON PRINCE CIANOOK.
3
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,719
THAT'S NEWS? NO.
4
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:23,155
BUT THIS IS. WHAT IS IT?
5
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,791
A SPECIAL REPORT
ON CIVIL DEFENSE.
6
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,426
AH, NOBODY CARES
ABOUT THAT JUNK.
7
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:32,731
HERB, I'VE ASKED YOU A
THOUSAND TIMES TO USE THE DOOR.
8
00:00:32,799 --> 00:00:35,700
THIS IS NUTS. TILL MR. CARLSON
GETS ME MY PRIVATE OFFICE,
9
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,849
THOSE YELLOW LINES ARE WALLS.
10
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,838
ALL RIGHT. OKAY, FINE.
11
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:42,607
WHAT DO YOU GOT HERE?
12
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:46,478
"WHAT TO DO IN CASE OF AN
ENEMY ATTACK IN CINCINNATI." RIGHT.
13
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,714
WHO'S GONNA ATTACK
US, DAYTON? MAYBE.
14
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,484
WELL, IF THEY COME DOWN
HERE, WE'LL KICK THEIR BUTTS.
15
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:58,289
YOU MAY NOT REALIZE THIS, HERB, BUT CIVIL
DEFENSE IN THIS COUNTRY HAS BECOME A JOKE.
16
00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:00,625
YEAH.
17
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:04,128
AT THE VERY TIME THE GODLESS
COMMUNISTS HAVE CREATED A WAR ARSENAL...
18
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:07,231
OF INDETERMINATE
DOOM AND DESTRUCTION.
19
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:11,135
OH. YOU SURE ARE FUN
TO HANG AROUND WITH, LES.
20
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,939
WELL, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA
THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS, HERB.
21
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,475
PEOPLE ARE SO CONCERNED
WITH THEIR OWN LIVES,
22
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:20,545
THEIR OWN DAY-TO-DAY AFFAIRS,
THEIR OWN PETTY INTERESTS,
23
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:25,083
THEY NEVER TAKE TIME TO THINK
ABOUT THE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS.
24
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,519
YOU SEE WHAT I'M GETTING AT?
25
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,588
OH. SORRY, LES. I
WASN'T LISTENING.
26
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:35,893
HERB, DO YOU REALIZE THAT BECAUSE
OF SOME PETTY THIEVES IN THIS BUILDING,
27
00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:38,002
SOMEBODY'S LOCKED THE
DOOR TO THE STAIRWELL?
28
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,965
HOLY COW.
29
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,244
WELL, THOSE STAIRS
ARE IMPORTANT, HERB.
30
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,314
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN
CASE OF AN EMERGENCY?
31
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:47,239
TAKE THE ELEVATOR.
32
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:51,009
NOBODY CARES.
NOBODY IS PREPARED.
33
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:57,515
MORNING, HERB, LES.
GOOD MORNING, BIG GUY.
34
00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:59,795
OH, MR. CARLSON, I'VE GOT
SOMETHING YOU'LL BE INTERESTED IN.
35
00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:03,521
I'VE JUST COMPLETED A DETAILED PLAN OF
"WHAT TO DO IN CASE OF AN ENEMY ATTACK."
36
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:06,191
YEAH, FINE. UH...
37
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:11,074
GENTLEMEN, UH, THIS MORNING I'M EXPECTING
A GROUP OF JAPANESE RADIO EXECUTIVES...
38
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:13,031
TO TAKE A TOUR OF OUR STATION.
39
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,166
MORE RUBBERNECKERS?
40
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:18,570
AH, COME ON, HERB. I'M EXPECTING
YOU GUYS TO BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.
41
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,872
JAPANESE, EH?
42
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:24,208
LES, THE JAPANESE
ARE OUR ALLIES NOW.
43
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:28,045
I MEAN, AS NEWS DIRECTOR, I KIND OF EXPECT
YOU TO PICK UP ON LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT.
44
00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:30,048
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, BIG GUY.
45
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:32,050
I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE
THESE FOREIGNERS.
46
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:35,053
OUR MAID'S A KRAUT.
47
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:40,437
I'M GOING DOWNSTAIRS TO SEE THE BUILDING
SUPERINTENDENT ABOUT THAT LOCKED STAIRWELL.
48
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:43,761
WELL, IF HE GIVES YOU ANY
TROUBLE, LES, PUNCH HIM OUT.
49
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:03,414
HEY, LES! YOUR DUMB
MACHINE'S BROKEN!
50
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,852
I GOTTA FIX EVERYTHING MYSELF.
51
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,735
THE MACHINE'S WORTHLESS.
52
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,071
♪♪
53
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:34,379
♪ BABY IF YOU'VE EVER WONDERED ♪
54
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:38,516
♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪
55
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:41,920
♪ I'M LIVING ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪
56
00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:47,559
♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪
57
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:51,195
♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKING AND UNPACKING ♪
58
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:54,732
♪ TOWN TO TOWN UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪
59
00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:59,738
♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪
60
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:03,909
♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪
61
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,511
♪ I'M AT WKRP ♪
62
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:10,482
♪ IN CINCINNATI ♪♪
63
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,863
LOOK, WE'LL JUST GO
OUT TOGETHER. WRONG.
64
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:17,021
IT'LL BE NICE. WE CAN LEAVE
RIGHT AFTER WORK. WRONG. WRONG.
65
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:19,069
AND I WON'T EVEN
TOUCH YOU. RIGHT.
66
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:21,192
YEAH.
67
00:04:22,228 --> 00:04:24,162
JENNIFER, WHAT TIME YOU GOT?
68
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:26,831
9:35 A.M.
69
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,220
YEAH. BOY, IT SURE IS DARK OUTSIDE.
THIS IS STRANGE WEATHER WE'RE HAVING.
70
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,615
I KNOW. I THINK WE'RE IN
FOR A GOOD THUNDERSTORM.
71
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,320
OH, UH, HEY, LISTEN,
ANDY. I'VE WRITTEN A
72
00:04:34,344 --> 00:04:36,174
FEW WORDS OF WELCOME
TO OUR JAPANESE GUESTS.
73
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:38,176
NOW HOW DOES THIS SOUND TO YOU?
74
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:42,814
"WE AT WKRP ARE HAPPY
TO EXTEND OUR HANDS...
75
00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:44,983
ACROSS THE BORDER TO GREET YOU."
76
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:48,086
- HUH?
- VERY GOOD.
77
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:51,189
AW. SOMEBODY
HELPED YOU WRITE THAT.
78
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,191
NO. UH-UH. HONEST.
79
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:55,271
WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE,
MR. CARLSON. VERY NICE.
80
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,034
EXCEPT, YOU SEE,
JAPAN IS NOT ACROSS THE
81
00:04:57,058 --> 00:04:58,997
BORDER. IT'S ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD.
82
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:03,402
OH, YEAH. WELL, IT'S JUST,
YOU KNOW, A ROUGH DRAFT.
83
00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:07,350
YOU IRON OUT THE FACTS,
BIG GUY, AND YOU GOT IT.
84
00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:09,574
I MEAN, THE FEELING IS TERRIFIC.
85
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,443
YEAH? AW, THANKS,
HERB. YEAH. SURELY.
86
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,280
GOTTA GIVE HIM ENCOURAGEMENT
FROM TIME TO TIME.
87
00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:19,117
YOU KNOW, BUILDS
UP HIS CONFIDENCE.
88
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:22,487
YEAH, WE'D... WE'D BE LOST
WITHOUT YOU, HERB. TELL ME ABOUT IT.
89
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,923
HELLO.
90
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:29,093
I AM MR. JOSE JORGE
RODRIGUEZ, THE INTERPRETER.
91
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:39,671
HELLO. I'M JENNIFER ELIZABETH
MARLOWE, THE RECEPTIONIST.
92
00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:42,941
AND I'M, UH... I'M ANDY TRAVIS,
THE PROGRAM DIRECTOR.
93
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:47,546
AH, SENORITA. IT IS A
GREAT PLEASURE. OH.
94
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:55,219
WHAT ARE THEY
SAYING? I DON'T KNOW.
95
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:59,524
I WAS HIRED TO TRANSLATE FOR A
GROUP OF SPANISH-SPEAKING VISITORS.
96
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:04,195
IN MY OPINION, THESE
PEOPLE ARE NOT SPANISH.
97
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,867
WATCH THIS.
98
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,037
TU MADRE...
99
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:15,774
SEE? IN MY COUNTRY,
THERE WOULD BE A FISTFIGHT.
100
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:20,612
I GUESS I'D BETTER
CALL MR. CARLSON.
101
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,950
MR. CARLSON?
102
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:31,155
OUR JAPANESE GUESTS ARE HERE.
103
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:39,264
OUR STATION MANAGER
WILL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
104
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:42,667
EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.
105
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:47,071
IT'S VERY NICE TO HAVE YOU HERE.
106
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,311
WELL, IT IS.
107
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:58,383
MR. CARLSON, THIS IS
MR. RODRIGUEZ, THE INTERPRETER.
108
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,596
WELL, HOW DO YOU DO, SIR? HELLO.
109
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,854
SEÑORES, THIS IS MR. CARLSON.
110
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,223
OH, YEAH. UH, GENTLEMEN,
111
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:08,092
IT'S OUR PLEASURE TO
WELCOME YOU TO WKRP.
112
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,306
THEY DON'T SPEAK
ENGLISH. WE... HMM?
113
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,797
NO ENGLISH. OH.
114
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,844
UH, WELL, M-MAYBE
HE COULD INTERPRET.
115
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:18,203
SURE, SURE. SEÑORES...
116
00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:24,309
WKRP.
117
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:28,579
IS THAT JAPANESE? SPANISH.
118
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:33,296
MAYBE YOU COULD FILL ME
IN. THERE'S BEEN A MISTAKE.
119
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,287
UH-HUH. SOMEWHERE
IN CINCINNATI...
120
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,723
A BUNCH OF CHIROPRACTORS
FROM ECUADOR...
121
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:42,560
ARE BEING TAKEN AROUND
BY AKIRA YAMAGUCHI.
122
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,963
PERHAPS WE SHOULD POSTPONE
THIS. WHAT DO YOU SAY?
123
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:47,298
NOW-NOW WAIT-WAIT-WAIT A MINUTE.
124
00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:50,368
I LEARNED A LITTLE JAPANESE
WHEN I WAS IN THE MARINES.
125
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:54,205
UH, LET ME THINK
ABOUT THIS. UH...
126
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:58,042
THE, UH... THE ACCENT
MAY BE OFF, BUT, UH...
127
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:14,625
OH, BOY.
128
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:17,562
UH, G-G-G-GUYS, UH, HANDS DOWN.
129
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:20,698
H-HANDS DOWN. UH... UH... BR-BRING...
BR-BRING THE HANDS DOWN, GUYS.
130
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:24,435
UH... H-HANDS... AH,
THAT'S-THAT'S GREAT.
131
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,910
GENTLEMEN, UH... THAT'S YOU.
132
00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:35,580
IT GIVES US A GREAT PLEASURE.
133
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:38,160
SEE? UH... PLEASURE?
134
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,752
FOR US... WE'RE-WE'RE US.
135
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:44,723
UH... UH, TO WELCOME
YOU, UH, HERE.
136
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:49,494
UH, NO. IN-IN CINCINNATI, OHIO.
137
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:52,129
OHIO! OHIO!
138
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,800
- OH-OHIO?
- OHIO! OHIO!
139
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,802
HEY, WHAT-WHAT-WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE?
140
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:01,606
I'M NO EXPERT, OF COURSE, BUT I
THINK "HELLO" IN JAPANESE IS "OHIO."
141
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,508
OHIO! OHIO!
142
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:06,110
OHIO! OHIO! ♪♪
143
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:09,814
♪♪ GENTLEMEN,
THIS IS A DISC JOCKEY.
144
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:14,519
A DISC JOCKEY.
145
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:19,791
"DISC-A" JOCKEY? RIGHT.
YOU GOT IT. DISC JOCKEY.
146
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:22,126
DISC JOCKEY.
147
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:31,202
OOH. "DISC-A" JOCKEY. AH.
148
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:37,075
UH, I GUESS WE'VE SEEN ALL WE NEED
TO SEE HERE IN THE BOOTH, GENTLEMEN.
149
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:40,045
UH, IF YOU'LL FOLLOW ME, UH...
150
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,892
SAYONARA, GUYS.
151
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,930
SAME HERE.
152
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:01,544
THERE YOU GUYS ARE. THOUGHT
I LOST YOU THERE FOR A MINUTE.
153
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:05,937
ANYWAY, FELLAS, THIS
IS THE HALL. THE HALL.
154
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:11,276
WHAT? HUH? WHAT DO YOU SEE OUT
THERE? WHAT? WAIT. LET ME TAKE A LOOK.
155
00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:14,578
PROBABLY THINKS
HE SPOTS A FOTOMAT.
156
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:18,382
OH, OH. THAT'S A TORNADO.
UH, CAN YOU SAY THAT?
157
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:22,087
A TORNADO. A TORNADO?
158
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:28,326
♪♪
159
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,664
♪♪
160
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:39,870
HEY, ANDY, SOMETHING'S WRONG
WITH THE LIGHTS. THEY JUST FLICKERED.
161
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,984
WHERE IN THE HELL
IS THE DISASTER FILE?
162
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:45,376
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
TROUBLE WITH THE JAPANESE?
163
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:48,424
- JENNIFER, SEE IF YOU CAN FIND
THE DISASTER FILE. WHERE'S LES?
- DOWNSTAIRS.
164
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:51,849
OH, THAT'S JUST GREAT. BOY, YOU
GUYS SURE GET RUFFLED EASILY.
165
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:53,896
WE'RE NOT AS COURAGEOUS
AS YOU ARE, HERB.
166
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,454
YEAH. HERE. PICK A CARD.
167
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:59,757
I JUST CRAWLED OFF THE ELEVATOR.
IT'S STUCK UNDERNEATH THIS FLOOR.
168
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,226
LES! THERE IS A
TORNADO OUT THERE!
169
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,495
- TORNADO?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
170
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,731
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
171
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:10,001
ANDY, THERE CAN'T BE A TORNADO. I'M
THE NEWS DIRECTOR. I'D KNOW ABOUT IT.
172
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:13,237
THERE'S THIS LITTLE BELL ON MY
TELETYPE MACHINE THAT GOES OFF...
173
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,442
IT STOPPED. WHO
UNPLUGGED MY MACHINE?
174
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,576
WE DON'T KNOW!
175
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:22,758
ALL RIGHT, HERB. GET UP FROM
UNDERNEATH THERE. COME ON! GET UP!
176
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:24,742
LES! LES! GET 'EM UP! COME ON!
177
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:28,286
LES! WHERE IS THE EMERGENCY
FILE? IN THE CABINET, I GUESS, ANDY.
178
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:31,956
WHERE IN THE CABINET,
LES? TRY "APOCALYPSE."
179
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,425
BIGGEST NEWS STORY
OF THE YEAR, AND I MISS IT?
180
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,362
COME ON OUT.
181
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,430
LES. I'M GONNA WANT
YOU TO GO ON AIR.
182
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,780
WHAT FOR, ANDY?
IT'S ALL OVER NOW.
183
00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:46,738
ANDY. ANDY, WE CAN'T
GET OFF THIS FLOOR.
184
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:48,784
YEAH, I KNOW THAT.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
185
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,286
LISTEN, TAKE EVERYONE TO THE
LOBBY. THAT'S THE SAFEST PLACE.
186
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,288
RIGHT, THE LOBBY.
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
187
00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:55,479
WHO SAID THAT? HERB. HERB!
188
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,227
COME ON OUT OF THERE! WHAT'RE YOU
DOING UNDER THERE, HERB? GET OUT.
189
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:01,263
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? GO
TO THE LOBBY WITH MR. CARLSON.
190
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,398
WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO,
BIG GUY? GO TO THE LOBBY!
191
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:05,768
WHAT? GO TO THE LOB... PULL
YOURSELF TOGETHER, HERB!
192
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:08,559
HEY.
193
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:12,130
I'M SORRY. I SAW
THAT IN A WAR FILM.
194
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:17,469
UH, HI. UH...
195
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,104
ANDY, MAN, UH, I HAVE
TO GO HOME NOW.
196
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:23,808
UH, MY SHIFT'S ALMOST OVER, AND
I WANNA WATER MY PLANTS, OKAY?
197
00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:26,344
- YEAH, OKAY. GOOD-BYE.
- UH,
198
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,247
GOOD-BYE, EVERYONE,
AND GOOD LUCK FOREVER.
199
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:31,393
HOLD-HOLD... WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
200
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,585
I HAVE TO GET OUT, ANDY. I PUT
ON A LONG RECORD. LET IT PLAY.
201
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,921
I NEED YOU. I NEED
YOU ON THE AIR.
202
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:40,091
OKAY, LOOK. I'M GONNA TRY TO BE
CALM AND TELL YOU SOMETHING, OKAY?
203
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:44,162
JOHNNY, WE'RE TRYING TO... AND YOU
JUST TRY TO BE CALM AND LISTEN TO ME, HMM?
204
00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:46,364
OKAY. OKAY.
205
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:50,601
UH, LOOK, MAN, I'VE
BEEN IN JAIL IN MEXICO.
206
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:54,272
UH, MY FATHER CALLED
ME "WHAT'S-HIS-FACE"...
207
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:57,441
FOR 17 HORRIFYING YEARS.
208
00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:01,979
UH, MY SECOND WIFE TRIED TO
KILL ME WITH A RONCO VEG-O-MATIC.
209
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,482
WE ARE VERY BUSY HERE.
210
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:08,118
MY MOTHER AND I WERE
IN A TORNADO ONCE.
211
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:11,722
UH, WE WERE IN A MOBILE HOME.
212
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:15,693
AND, UH, I THINK GOD MUST
REALLY HATE MOBILE HOMES, ANDY,
213
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:19,430
'CAUSE TORNADOES
ALWAYS ATTACK THEM FIRST.
214
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:23,635
THEY GET VERY MOBILE. UH...
215
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,881
HOLD IT. HOLD. I
UNDERSTAND. I-I DON'T...
216
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:29,240
NOW LISTEN TO ME. WE CAN'T
GET OFF THE FLOOR. OH, GOOD.
217
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,609
THE ELEVATOR IS
STUCK. STUCK. GOOD.
218
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:34,979
RIGHT. WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS
GO TO THE LOBBY. GO TO THE LOBBY.
219
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,026
THAT'S THE SAFEST PLACE.
IT'S THE SAFEST PLACE.
220
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,583
RIGHT. GO TO THE LOBBY.
221
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,864
I'LL GO TO THE LOBBY. IT'S
THE SAFEST PLACE. RIGHT.
222
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:43,821
OKAY.
223
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:46,891
UH, LISTEN, JENNIFER,
I-I'M NOT A COWARD.
224
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,960
I KNOW.
225
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,896
THE WALLS MOVED!
THE WALLS MOVED!
226
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,085
JOHNNY, THE OTHER WAY!
227
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,134
OH, RIGHT.
228
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,704
I CAN'T FIND A DISASTER FILE.
229
00:13:59,773 --> 00:14:01,973
ALL RIGHT, LOOK. GO HELP
JOHNNY, ALL RIGHT? OKAY.
230
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,443
LES. LES.
231
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,545
LES, PLEASE, GO ON THE AIR.
232
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:09,959
WHAT FOR, ANDY? IT'S ALL OVER.
233
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,950
BIGGEST NEWS STORY
OF THE YEAR, AND I MISS IT.
234
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,997
TORNADO'S GONE, AND I MISS IT.
235
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:19,757
LES! SOMETIMES THESE THINGS
COME IN CLUSTERS. OH, SURE, SURE.
236
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,993
THIS MIGHT NOT BE
OVER WITH YET, LES.
237
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:25,440
YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL
BETTER. LES, I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT...
238
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,113
WHAT IS THAT? IT SOUNDS LIKE A
TRAIN. MAYBE IT'S ANOTHER TWISTER.
239
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:33,749
UNDER YOUR DESK, LES. NO,
LES, DON'T DO THAT! NO, LES!
240
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,274
OH, HOT DOG! WE'RE IN BUSINESS!
GET AWAY FROM THE WINDOW!
241
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,275
OH, THIS IS NEWS!
242
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:52,289
DY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
243
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,759
ANDY, SPEAK TO ME. ANDY.
244
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,620
ANDY? ANDY, THAT
TORNADO, IT CAME RIGHT PAST
245
00:14:56,644 --> 00:14:58,295
THE BUILDING. WE
GOTTA GET OUT. COME ON.
246
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:01,276
OH, NO. HE'S UNCONSCIOUS. HE
WAS STANDING BESIDE THE WINDOW.
247
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,935
COME ON. LET'S GET HIM OUT OF
HERE, AWAY FROM THAT WINDOW.
248
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:07,171
I GOT YA. GO AHEAD. GOT HIM.
FINE. RIGHT OVER HERE. GOT HIM.
249
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,843
YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED
TO MOVE AN INJURED PERSON.
250
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,779
SON OF A GUN, SHE'S RIGHT.
RIGHT. LET'S GET HIM BACK.
251
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,618
ANYBODY KNOW...
ANYBODY KNOW FIRST AID?
252
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:24,432
UH, YEAH. I-I TOOK THE ADVANCED
COURSE, BIG GUY. OH, GREAT.
253
00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:26,769
- WH-WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? YOU IDIOT.
254
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:30,528
THIS MAN NEEDS
MOUTH-TO-MOUTH RESUSCITATION.
255
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,663
MOUTH-TO-MOUTH WITH ANOTHER GUY?
256
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:36,167
- HERB!
- I LIKE ANDY AND ALL,
BUT I DON'T THINK I SHOULD...
257
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:40,471
HERB, I'M ORDERING YOU TO GET THIS
JOB DONE. HERE. JUST A MINUTE. I'LL DO IT.
258
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:44,409
- YOU KNOW MOUTH-TO-MOUTH?
- I KNOW ALL SORTS OF THINGS.
259
00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:52,850
GET THE FEELING THEY'VE
DONE THIS BEFORE?
260
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,930
SHUT UP, HERB. THIS
IS AN EMERGENCY.
261
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,933
WE'VE ALL GOTTA PITCH IN.
262
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:59,824
WHY HIM?
263
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:02,260
WHY COULDN'T THAT BE ME?
264
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:07,064
UH, NOW WAIT-WAIT-WAIT A
MINUTE. I THINK HE'S COMING AROUND.
265
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,733
ARE YOU OKAY, ANDY? YOU
OKAY? S-S-SAY SOMETHING.
266
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,735
OH.
267
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:15,506
WHAT'D HE SAY? DON'T STOP.
268
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:19,644
I THINK HE'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. COME
ON. SIT UP. COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
269
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,979
HUH? YOU OKAY, HUH? YOU OKAY?
270
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:28,085
I-I SAID ARE YOU OKAY?
THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME.
271
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:31,222
THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE...
272
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,625
ALL RIGHT. I'M IN
CHARGE HERE NOW.
273
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:38,095
LES, YOU GET THAT EMERGENCY FILE
AND YOU GET ON THE AIR RIGHT AWAY.
274
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:41,377
ALL RIGHT, MR. CARLSON, BUT
WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM WITH THIS PLAN.
275
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:44,401
I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR
PROBLEMS. I WANT YOU ON THE AIR NOW.
276
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,170
YES, SIR.
277
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:48,817
JENNIFER, I WANT YOU TO STAY
HERE AND TAKE CARE OF ANDY.
278
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,186
RIGHT. 'CAUSE I'M
GOING TO THE BRIDGE.
279
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:53,730
BRIDGE? UH, THE BOOTH.
280
00:16:57,183 --> 00:17:00,618
I THINK THE BIG GUY
SAID HE WAS FINE.
281
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,854
I-I THINK HE'S OKAY NOW.
282
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,961
WHAT THE DEVIL ARE YOU
DOING? WHY AREN'T WE ON THE AIR?
283
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:14,231
I'M GONNA PLAY A RECORD, MR. CARLSON.
WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR RECORDS.
284
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,701
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I TOLD YOU
THERE WAS A PROBLEM WITH THIS PLAN.
285
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,704
WHAT PROBLEM? IT
DOESN'T COVER TORNADOES.
286
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,706
IT'S FOR WHAT TO DO
WHEN THE RUSSIANS ATTACK.
287
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:25,042
THE RUSSIANS? OR CHINESE.
288
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,822
LES, YOU TAKE THAT EMERGENCY
FILE AND GET ON THE AIR.
289
00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:30,625
AND WHEN YOU SEE THE WORD "RUSSIANS"
YOU SUBSTITUTE THE WORD "TORNADO."
290
00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:33,183
OOH. THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
291
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:41,826
THIS IS A SPECIAL EMERGENCY
REPORT FROM WKRP IN CINCINNATI.
292
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:45,362
NOW HERE WITH THAT
REPORT IS LES NESSMAN.
293
00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:49,233
SOMEBODY ELSE IS SUPPOSED TO READ
THAT LINE. JUST GET BACK ON THE AIR.
294
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:54,905
THE CITY OF CINCINNATI HAS JUST BEEN
ATTACKED BY THE GODLESS TORNADOES.
295
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:59,109
CITIZENS ARE ADVISED TO
ARM THEMSELVES IMMEDIATELY.
296
00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:02,713
GIVE ME THAT THING. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THERE'S BEEN A REPORT OF TWO TORNADOES...
297
00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:05,249
IN THE IMMEDIATE AREA
AND THERE COULD BE OTHERS.
298
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,170
NOW, WE'RE ASKING YOU
TO TAKE COVER... WHATEVER
299
00:18:07,194 --> 00:18:08,831
COVER YOU CAN... AND
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE,
300
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:12,356
EVEN IF YOU'RE LIVING IN AN AREA
THAT SEEMS CLEAR AT THE PRESENT TIME.
301
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,370
STAY OUT OF THOSE STREETS SO THAT EMERGENCY
VEHICLES AND THEIR STAFF CAN GET...
302
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:18,540
IF YOU SPOT AN ENEMY TORNADO IN
YOUR AREA, PLEASE CALL US IMMEDIATELY.
303
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:21,765
OUR NUMBER IS 555-WKRP.
304
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:25,903
NOW, THIS IS THE BEST WAY FOR US TO KEEP
ADVISED OF ANY ENEMY TORNADO MOVEMENTS.
305
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:28,339
THAT'S GREAT, LES. NOW THAT
NUMBER TO CALL ONCE AGAIN.
306
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:31,909
NOW I'M GOING READ YOU A LIST OF HOSPITALS
AND EMERGENCY... GET THAT PHONE, PLEASE.
307
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:36,546
LISTEN CLOSELY. GENERAL HOSPITAL ON
THE UNIVERSITY CAMPUS. UH, HELLO. WKRP.
308
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:40,885
PLEASE, CALM-CALM DOWN. CALM DOWN.
WHERE DID YOU SEE THE FUNNEL CLOUD?
309
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:44,021
WHAT DIRECTION DO YOU THINK IT WAS
HEADING? CHRIST HOSPITAL IN MT. AUBURN.
310
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:47,369
- GOT IT. FINE. THANKS A LOT.
- GOOD SAMARITAN HOSPITAL NEAR
THE UNIVERSITY OF CINCINNATI.
311
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,753
GOOD SAMARITAN NEAR
THE UNIVERSITY OF CINC...
312
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,363
ALL RIGHT! WE HAVE A SIGHTING!
313
00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:54,732
THERE IS A TORNADO
IN THE HAMILTON AREA.
314
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,968
IF YOU ARE IN THAT
AREA, TAKE SHELTER NOW.
315
00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:59,370
I REPEAT, THE HAMILTON AREA.
316
00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:03,608
NOW HERE ARE SOME HELPFUL TIPS ON
HOW TO CARE FOR THE INJURED OR IN SHOCK.
317
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,876
HELLO? DO NOT MOVE THE VICTIM.
318
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:08,224
PLEASE, PLEASE. SWEETHEART, JUST
CALM DOWN. DO NOT MOVE THE VICTIM.
319
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,982
TELL ME HOW OLD YOU ARE.
KEEP THE VICTIM LYING FLAT.
320
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,261
KEEP THAT VICTIM LYING
FLAT. SEVEN YEARS OLD?
321
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:15,497
I'VE GOT A GIRL. COVER
TO AVOID LOSS OF HEAT.
322
00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:18,066
COME ON. COME ON.
COME ON. GIVE NO FLUIDS.
323
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:21,136
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I AM TALKING
TO A LITTLE SEVEN-YEAR-OLD GIRL...
324
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,093
WHOSE MOMMY'S NOT AT HOME.
325
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,008
IF THERE ARE OTHER KIDS OUT
THERE ALONE, UH, LISTEN CLOSELY TOO.
326
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:29,066
OKAY? UH, NOW, SWEETHEART,
327
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:32,269
UNCLE ARTHUR WANTS YOU TO KNOW
THAT EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
328
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:36,907
Y-YOUR MOMMY'S FINE. YOU SEE, SHE'S
JUST TAKEN SHELTER WHERE SHE IS.
329
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:42,345
YES. AND SHE KNOWS THAT SHE MUST STAY
THERE UNTIL THIS WHOLE THING'S BLOWN OVER.
330
00:19:42,414 --> 00:19:45,983
UH, NO. N-NO, NO, NO, NO. D-DON'T...
DON'T TRY TO GO OUT AND FIND HER.
331
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,285
STAY WHERE YOU ARE.
SHE'S GONNA BE HOME SOON.
332
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:52,056
AW. PLEASE. SHE'S CRYING.
333
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:56,327
SWEETHEART. SHH, SHH,
SHH, SHH. CALM DOWN, NOW.
334
00:19:56,396 --> 00:20:00,898
I KNOW IT'S TERRIBLE TO BE ALONE,
AND TORNADOES ARE SCARY THINGS.
335
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,900
BUT, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES...
336
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,602
SOMETIMES WE GOTTA BE
BRAVE, EVEN WHEN WE'RE NOT.
337
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:10,241
OH, UH, LES NESSMAN WANTS TO KNOW
IF YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR BASEMENT IS.
338
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,243
YOU DO? GOOD!
339
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:15,813
NOW, I'LL BET EVERYBODY OUT THERE
KNOWS WHERE HIS OR HER BASEMENT IS, RIGHT?
340
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,715
WELL, UNCLE ARTHUR WANTS
YOU TO GO THERE RIGHT NOW.
341
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:21,118
YEAH. YES, YOU TOO, DEAR.
342
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:24,789
WHAT? YEAH, I-I KNOW
IT'S DARK DOWN THERE.
343
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:29,794
BUT UNCLE ARTHUR WANTS YOU TO
GO THERE RIGHT NOW, SWEETHEART.
344
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:35,700
OH, ALL RIGHT. IF-IF YOU GO THERE, I'LL
SEND YOU FIVE DOLLARS THROUGH THE MAIL.
345
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,902
KIDS. WHAT?
346
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,968
YEAH, PLEASE, JUST PUT
THE PHONE ON THE TABLE,
347
00:20:39,992 --> 00:20:41,839
AND I WANNA HEAR YOU
WALK TO THE BASEMENT.
348
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:45,342
AND THEN WHEN YOU GET
THERE, SLAM THE DOOR REAL LOUD.
349
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,344
SHE'S GOING. GOOD.
350
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:50,948
I CAN HEAR HER WALKING.
HUH. I HEARD THE DOOR.
351
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:53,884
SHE'S GONNA BE SAFE.
352
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,089
AT LEAST I HOPE SO.
353
00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:01,425
THE PHONE JUST WENT DEAD.
354
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:04,361
MR. CARLSON, YOU
SAVED THAT CHILD'S LIFE.
355
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:07,030
HUH? OH!
356
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:12,169
THAT-THAT'S ENOUGH, LES. NOW
GET BACK ON THE AIR. RIGHT. RIGHT.
357
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:16,907
THIS IS LES NESSMAN AGAIN, PART OF
YOUR GUTSY WKRP EMERGENCY NEWS TEAM.
358
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:19,076
NOW I WANNA SEE THE
PHONES IN HERE LIGHT UP.
359
00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:21,061
I WANNA SEE THIS CITY
GET OFF THE CANVAS AND
360
00:21:21,085 --> 00:21:22,980
START FIGHTING THE
WAY ONLY CINCINNATI CAN.
361
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,249
WE'RE NOT GONNA LET THOSE
GODLESS AGGRESSORS FROM THE...
362
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:28,085
I MEAN, THOSE TORNADOES...
GET THE BEST OF US, ARE WE?
363
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:33,490
HECK, NO, BOY. NOT WITH MEN LIKE
ARTHUR "BIG GUY" CARLSON ON OUR SIDE.
364
00:21:35,762 --> 00:21:40,030
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK ON WITH MORE NEWS
AND INFORMATION THE MOMENT WE GET IT.
365
00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:45,169
RIGHT NOW, UM, I'M GOING
TO, UH, UM, UH, PLAY A RECORD.
366
00:21:45,238 --> 00:21:49,873
YEAH, SURE. WHY NOT? ♪♪
367
00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:52,943
♪♪
368
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,060
LES NESSMAN SPEAKING.
369
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:15,265
LISTEN, TRANSLATE THAT,
JOSE. THEY'LL LOVE IT.
370
00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:26,043
AH, BUT SERIOUSLY, GUYS.
371
00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:30,848
SEE, I AM TERRIFIED
BY TORNADOES.
372
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:33,016
I MEAN, THEY PARALYZE ME.
373
00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:37,921
AND, UH, WELL, YOU GUYS
SHOW UP HERE TODAY AND YOU...
374
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:40,324
YOU LISTENED TO ALL MY PROBLEMS.
375
00:22:40,393 --> 00:22:44,928
SO, UH, GOD BLESS
EVERY ONE OF YOU.
376
00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:50,233
AND I HOPE THAT YOU
SELL A BILLION TV SETS.
377
00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:55,573
ANDY, WHAT HAPPENED?
378
00:22:55,641 --> 00:22:59,243
OH, HE HAD A LITTLE ACCIDENT, BUT
HE'S JUST FINE NOW. AREN'T YOU, ANDY?
379
00:22:59,312 --> 00:23:03,247
SURE. LISTEN, HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY LITTLE DOG?
380
00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:13,190
WELL, ANDY, IT'S ALL OVER. NOBODY
WAS KILLED. ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
381
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:15,960
HELLO.
382
00:23:16,028 --> 00:23:19,496
OVER? DAMN! I'M READY NOW.
383
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:23,133
WHY, I GOTTA GO ON THE AIR.
I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING.
384
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,407
THE BOOTH IS GONE.
385
00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:07,678
♪♪
386
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:15,686
♪♪
387
00:24:24,263 --> 00:24:26,430
♪♪
388
00:24:40,613 --> 00:24:42,780
♪♪
31829
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