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I saw Summer of 42 the other night on the TV.
And I thought, hey, I had a summer just like that.
Mine was in 72.
I was 20 then.
And they still called me Chunks.
72 began like 71 ended.
I was in my second year of college.
Boise City College.
Wasn't exactly Harvard.
To me, it was like high school.
I was still carrying some baby fat.
I still used clearasil.
And I was still a virgin.
In June, my brother broke his leg.
And his best friend, Mitchell Carter, asked me if I'd like to take my
brother's place on a week's vacation to California.
Mitch still wanted to go.
I thought about the sun and fun.
And I thought about the ocean.
I told Mitch yes in a hurry.
That's how it started that summer.
Back in 72
Wow
Sarah
Beautiful. Sure beats the old you bag'em.
Anything beats the old you bag'em.
Wow, it all looks good.
How about right over there?
Oh.
Wow. Nice.
Look at that. What are you looking at?
That's the next score, buddy.
Score?
Yeah. What's the score?
Pussy.
Pussy.
Here, look.
I've seen in a long time.
Wow.
You know something, Chunk?
We're going to be slipping the meat to those girls in no time at all.
Now I mean it.
She's just a little shy.
Looks like your friend is, too.
Sex? Got sex in that cell. He's just from Idaho.
Sex is a gentleman.
And you're not?
I'm an animal.
No, life's too short.
It jumps. What? You're there to pounce on it now.
I'll make sure we don't let the truck and we get home all in one piece.
Have a little silver front that's written on the driver.
This kind of thing always happenin' in California.
Don't fit me.
How'd you answer?
All the time.
Boy.
You didn't hear what he said?
I haven't jumped yet, but... Would you like to come back home?
I heard you girls from California were good.
But I never expected anything like this.
It's nothing.
She'll be dancing again.
She was just carrying a bag of groceries.
She was the most horrific woman that I'd ever seen.
I remember thinking, she's too old for me.
But that was the kind of woman I wanted to meet.
That was the kind of woman I wanted to love.
She didn't notice me.
Not a blink.
I thought I'd probably never see her again.
The things weren't bad enough.
Betsy just sat there like a lump.
At least she didn't say anything.
I could just stay here forever. Couldn't you, Chuck?
Yeah. I have needed this moment forever.
Hey, chumps.
Everybody's had a hit except for you. Do you want some?
What are you doing?
I was trying to get you high.
What's the matter? You on downers or something?
No, I just didn't know what you were doing.
Here, take a couple of hits.
It'll help you focus.
Yeah, just take a deep breath.
Now, it's not going to inhale it and hold it in.
Hope everybody likes bourbon.
I love bourbon.
Well, let's party then. We need some music.
Talk with me.
California.
You want some joint?
Please.
Okay. Oh, no, here.
Have some half instead.
Here you go.
Oh.
It'll make you a little more comfortable here.
Uh-huh. We brought this from, uh...
Idaho.
Idaho hat. Idaho hat is made from potatoes.
Take all you can.
Good. Now hold it in. Hold it in.
Hold it.
Hold it.
Now blow it into my mouth.
I bet you think I'm really out of it, don't you?
The way I act is more.
No, I don't think you're out of it.
No, I like you.
It's just I don't like to jump in the bed with a guy without knowing him.
Oh, I agree. I don't really even respect a girl who would jump in the bed without
getting to know me.
I respect you.
You respect me?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah? Good.
You want me to chug it?
No cheating.
Very good.
Oh, you'll be all right.
How does it look from there?
Let me help out a little bit.
Thank you.
Come here.
Eat me.
Today's my birthday.
Oh, how old are you?
Eighteen. I love a spanking.
Eighteen years old?
Mm-hmm.
Eight. Nine.
I've got a birthday present for you.
You do?
How do you like your present?
Take it away in your mouth.
Squeeze my cock really hard with your hand.
Don't tease me.
It's hot in here.
You hot?
No. I'm getting hot.
You want to fuck?
What?
Me, you idiot.
Let's fuck.
Don't be so gross.
Why do you have to talk like that?
Like what?
Say fuck?
Yeah.
Don't you say fuck?
Don't your friends say fuck?
I don't... But... But... But I certainly do.
Haven't you ever heard of women's liberation?
Candy, do you think you can save the women's lib?
Just for tonight, okay?
I have heard of women's liberation.
It's a two-part present.
What's the matter, Chuck?
I don't think I'm ready yet.
We'll get you ready.
Yeah,
don't worry. We'll get you all ready.
The room's spinning.
Why don't you lay down?
I don't feel so good.
Please come help me with this immediately.
I'm a rat.
So now what are we going to do with Mr. Chunk's belt?
Well, I always heard that a woman without a man is like a fish without a
bicycle.
Candy, what are you talking about?
How would you like to be queen for a day?
let's go down
Your kisses are so sweet.
I like you with the wings, Rosie.
Wonderful.
Oh.
Mmm.
I've got an idea.
Why don't you, um, eat me?
I'll let you come.
You'll leave? Oh, that's okay.
I'll come to you.
How's that? Mm-hmm.
Oh.
Oh, yes, like that. Oh.
Oh, God.
Oh,
God.
Oh. Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Oh. Oh, your tongue feels so good.
Oh, move it just a little quicker, yeah.
Oh, yeah, like that.
Oh.
Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
Oh,
God.
Hey, Shanks, why'd you pass out last night?
What?
Why'd you pass out last night?
I don't know. I passed out last night.
How could you do that?
Why are you yelling at me?
I didn't do it on purpose.
I'm yelling at you because it was a really stupid thing to do, Chunks.
Really stupid.
It was probably all that booze.
And those girls.
And all that grass.
One minute, they were all playing with my clothes.
And the next minute, somebody just turned the lights off.
Before or after?
Before or after what?
Before or after you got laid.
You didn't get laid, did you?
That's fucking incredible, you bozo.
I don't believe it. You end up with two of the most beautiful girls you've ever
been with in your life.
Two of them. That's four sets of tips.
And you can't even stay awake long enough to count them, let alone lay
them.
I bet you're still a virgin, aren't you?
Hey, Mitch, why don't you lighten up?
We're friends, aren't we?
So?
Well, I've known your brother for a real long time, and I've known you for a long
time.
So I think you ought to trust me.
And I'm trying to tell you that it's not normal to be a virgin at 20 years old.
What do you know?
I know what I know. I know it's not normal to be a virgin at 20 years old.
You do like girls, don't you, Chunks?
What kind of crack is that?
It's not a crack.
It's a simple question.
Question?
You're asking me if I'm queer.
I'm not asking you if you're queer. I wouldn't room with a goddamn faggot.
Yeah? Some people don't care who they fuck.
What'd you say?
Fuck you!
My goddamn best friend's kid brother mouthing off to me.
I'll slap your fucking face off.
Hey, look, I didn't mean to insult you.
I just don't like you telling me who I can fuck and who I can't.
Where and when.
I'm sorry, okay?
Look at Chunks. We're on vacation, right?
Yeah.
You want to have a good time?
Yeah. So do I.
From now on, you just go where you want, and you fuck who you want, and I'll go
where I want, and I'll fuck who I want.
I just really still think it's bad for a 20-year-old to be a virgin.
Not normal.
You do know how to do it, don't you?
I'm gonna take a shower.
I'm gonna watch some fuck flicks, Chunk.
Excuse me, sir. I was going to clean your room, but I can come back another
time. No, that's okay.
Oh, but I really should just go.
No, that's all right. Go ahead and do your thing.
Well, if you're sure.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Is
there
anything else I can do for you, sir?
Yeah, you can give me head.
Oh, sir, that's so embarrassing. I just couldn't.
Sure you could.
Come on and suck my cock.
Well, the customer is always right.
I always like to please the customer.
It's delicious.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's so big. Such a nice, big, red cock.
That's a good bead. Yeah.
This is good room service.
Have
I
been a good maid?
You've been more than good.
Don't you think I deserve a chance?
I sure do.
They're so hot.
I'd love it if you licked my clit.
your pussy.
They're so hot.
Yes.
Lick it. I love it.
Oh,
that's
so nice.
Tongue feels so smooth.
Oh, yeah.
Oh,
what a good time.
Oh, it's so hot.
Come over here and fuck me.
Put it in there.
I want to get the mask.
Yeah.
Get your ass right up here
Oh yeah.
What are you laughing about?
I'm not laughing about anything.
Get the door, would you? What?
Go to the bathroom.
Get the door.
Oh, my God.
Are you Chunks?
Yeah. I'm your emergency room service.
Mitch, you stupid goddamn...
I knew Mitch meant well.
I wasn't really mad at him.
At 20 years old, in 1972, it wasn't normal to be a virgin.
I couldn't explain it to myself.
How the fuck was I going to talk to Mitch about it?
I was as interested in girls as any other guy, but when it came down to the
big act of intercourse, well, I'd just get cold feet.
It wasn't so much that I worried about not being good enough or knowing enough.
It was about not caring enough.
I ran into girls who would just expect a guy to be turned on like a switch.
I wasn't.
I couldn't.
Maybe I was watching too many old movies late at night on the tube.
It was always really romantic.
I don't know.
Real life wasn't working out like that.
Maybe I did pass out on purpose.
Maybe I just couldn't deal with girls like Julie and Candy.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
It's you.
It's you.
I never... I'm sorry.
Well, don't get up. It's a beach, not a ballroom.
Do you know me?
No, but, um, I saw you in town.
Oh.
Oh,
please, sit.
Thanks.
That's pretty dumb, huh?
What? Standing up in the game near the beach.
Oh, well, actually, you know, it's kind of refreshing.
Yeah? Yeah. Just a little out of place, that's all.
Out of place is my specialty.
Oh.
Have I intruded on some serious thinking?
Valerie's friend.
Joe. Joseph Benson.
Everybody calls me Chunks. Hi. Hi.
Chunks? Chunks.
You like that?
No.
No, I've never liked it.
Well, then, hi, Joe Benson.
Hi, Valerie.
Hi, Valerie.
So, do you come here often?
No.
We?
Me and Mitch, the friend. Well, my brother.
Well, let's just say that I'm over-assertive.
You think you can still trust me?
God, what a dumb thing to ask.
Why do I always ask dumb questions?
Well, it really wasn't that dumb.
Yeah? A little stupid, maybe.
You know, for someone who's so down on himself, you really do laugh a lot.
So where is this Mitch?
Mitch?
Mitch is either at a massage parlor or... Okay,
kid. Get ready to cry, Uncle.
We haven't got a chance.
I'm a champion wrestler!
We'll soon see, won't we? Yeah, we'll soon...
You tell me you're a champion.
I've had just about enough of your shit.
Well,
why aren't you whipping?
That's what I was trying to figure out.
Uh-huh.
No, not that.
Thank you.
You know, you should feel embarrassed, though.
I do.
God, you know, being a romantic is something special.
Something to be cherished.
Someday you're going to meet someone, and everything will be right.
And all of these warm, tender feelings that you've stored up inside are going
to come filling out all over the place.
You shouldn't ever apologize for being gentle and caring.
Not ever.
I never meet anybody.
Oh, you will. You'll meet people.
Lots of them.
And when you meet the right ones, you'll be a very lucky young lady.
Oh. Well, thanks for walking me home, Joe.
Home?
Yeah, I live right over there.
Well, I really like talking to you.
Maybe I can see you again.
You know where I live.
You take care of yourself, Joe.
And don't worry.
Yeah.
Oh.
You're about ready to give in.
Best two out of three.
I like that here.
Yeah.
It's nice with you.
I really wanted to come outside before, but... But what?
We just always end up going to the bed.
And the night air feels so nice.
So do you.
You feel nice.
You feel nice.
See, I got a suntan today.
You're opening lines up, huh? Uh-huh. Just for you.
Not just that.
Don't leave the other one out.
Don't stop there.
Stop anywhere.
How dare you wear this on the beach.
I guess for you. Uh-huh.
I hope.
I'm sure I'm not the only one that liked it, though.
Baby, it's just the first time for you.
You wouldn't want somebody else.
Oh, thank you. You're the only one for me. You know that.
I hope it don't stop here.
And I'll tell you what.
It feels
good.
Oh, nice.
Oh, yeah.
It tastes good.
It's good.
Keep going.
Yeah.
Do you want me to stop? No, don't stop, don't stop.
Just keep going, keep going.
Nice.
Don't stop.
Just keep going, keep going.
How does that feel?
It feels wonderful. I really know what I want more.
Oh, baby.
Oh,
don't stop.
Yeah.
All right.
You are wonderful.
That's foreign objects.
Hello, Dr. Scott.
Yes.
I was just out on the beach walking.
Yes, I had the tests taken this morning.
The technician said that he...
What?
Not you.
Feel better?
Everything's okay.
Good.
So, Banjo, you're going to make lots of women in your life.
Many of them are going to be more skilled and more beautiful than I am.
But I just wanted you to know that I'll remember this for the rest of my life.
You gonna take that off?
Should
I
be doing anything?
That tiny room at the beach was absolutely the perfect place for my
first time.
When we came together, I could feel the hairs growing on my chest.
I saw my future.
I saw my past.
For a few minutes, it was like being alive and they live happily ever after.
All my questions had been answered.
And all my fears disappeared.
All that was left was...
A kiss.
Every move we made was a kiss.
Oh.
Mmm.
Chugs, come on. Let's get going. It's a long drive back to Boise.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Hey, whatever happened to that mystery lady of yours, anyway?
I don't know.
She's just gone.
The real estate agent said that she only had the house for the summer.
He didn't have any forwarding address.
Hi-ho, Silver!
And away!
Who was that mystery lady who rode off with Chunks' cherry?
That's real funny, man.
Well, you gotta admit, the whole thing was pretty strange.
Not for me.
Well... We're still friends, aren't we?
You want to be my friend?
Yeah, I'll be your friend.
All right?
Don't call me Chunks anymore.
Call me Joe.
Oh, a name change.
Kind of drastic.
You know, do all at once.
Why don't we kind of do it in steps?
I'll call you Chunky Joe.
Forget it. That's all right. Come on, no, really. We can be famous. You can
be, uh...
Chunky Joe and the Fish, famous rock band.
All right.
I guess everybody's got to grow up.
Even you, dipshit.
If you want to be called Joe, it's good enough for me.
I'm never going to forget her.
Yeah, maybe you will, maybe you won't.
Boys, he's a long way off. And I hear the potatoes calling.
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