Original subtitles

Good night, doll.

Good night.

Oh.

Hey.

Did you want me to fool around?

Did you?

No, I... I did earlier.

Yeah, me too.

You know, that drive and all that eating.

Tomorrow.

Kind of early for sunbathing, isn't it?

Yeah.

What are you doing today?

I don't know.

Try to relax, I guess.

Sit around by the pool, read. Lazy bones.

We're out of here.

Let's go.

Ace outfit.

How come you don't dress like that?

You think it'll shave a stroke off the game?

Two strokes.

Hey, hey, wait, wait. We've got big money on today's game. Don't give them

any ideas.

Your club's in the car? If they're not, it's going to be a short round to go.

This is so neat, having our very own culture ourselves.

We should go on vacation more often.

How about Vail?

Vail? God, we'd have to float alone.

Besides, we've already put down money on that condo in Tahoe.

I put in a deposit. We'll talk about veal later. Got to go. Let's go.

You win that money.

Bye, guys.

Bye, guys.

I made some fresh coffee. Want some?

No, thanks.

It's been that dishwater that we get at work. It's French vanilla.

No, I'm not in the mood for coffee today.

I'm feeling a little edgy.

You know what I am in the mood for?

What?

A mimosa. I have not had a mimosa in the morning since forever.

Should we? Let's do it.

Where do they hide the glasses around here?

Huh.

You know, everything I send to Pearson comes back with so many editorial notes

on it, I feel like it should have a grade on it.

And a note attached saying, see me.

Well, at least it's got your name on it. Yeah.

Oops!

I never do that.

Don't worry, just pour it. It looks yummy.

So I have to have this thing ready by Friday.

You will.

And, you know, I hate tan lines.

Me too.

You know, there's nobody around.

I'll take my top off.

Absolutely.

You know, the thing about writing...

that people are always trying to give you advice and guidance, and it's just

sometimes you just need to go into your own room and just do it by yourself.

Sounds like my sex life lately.

Really?

Hmm?

You know, you get yourself off.

No! Oh, no.

I was just kidding.

No.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. What?

Yeah, I do get myself off. I don't know why I said I didn't kiss. I do.

Me too.

It's not that Brad and I... I mean, he's terrific and all, but... Yeah.

Joel and I, like, we get on this schedule from hell and it's...

Yeah, and before you know it, a couple of weeks have gone by since you did it,

and the pressure builds up. A couple of weeks. God, I'm glad I'm not the only

one. I think I do it a lot.

Really?

Like, how often?

Well, you know, it varies.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know.

I mean, a couple of times a week, maybe three or four.

Me too.

Let me ask you something.

Do you ever think about brands?

Sometimes.

Sometimes I just fantasize.

Me too.

What do you fantasize about?

Well, I don't know.

Sometimes I imagine a door-to-door salesman.

Oh, the kind that comes to the door and you're not wearing much?

No, I'm wearing my white satin robe.

You know the one with nothing on underneath, and I feel daring.

So you open the door anyway and let him in.

Have you ever seen a door-to-door salesman? No, have you?

No.

Well, I lead him into the dining room, and he's looking me over real good while

he gets all this stuff out of his case.

So I see him looking, and I lean.

Way over.

Yeah, and he accidentally, on purpose, sees your breast and gets a big heart

on.

Oh, yeah.

So big he's having trouble hiding it.

So we fool around, testing his wear.

Teasing and flirting until we're getting, mmm, so hot.

And then I turn around to get my checkbook.

And I really give him a look.

Oh, yeah. He's getting so hot, he's getting me hot. Oh, yeah.

And I figure it's only a matter of time before he gets so hot, he takes things

into his own hands. And then he loses control and grabs me.

Oh, yeah.

He kisses me, fondles my breath, and I usually come by now.

I gotta get in the pool.

I'm getting hot talking like this.

Me too.

Kind of cute.

Maybe we should let him in and give him a look.

Charge his battery for him.

Like our salesman.

Oh, he was getting me hot.

Oh, yeah.

Hot, yeah.

See my nipples?

They're still so hard.

Don't worry, he can't see.

Me too.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

This is so naughty.

I want to do it now.

Why don't you take the couch? I'll go into the bedroom.

Unless... Unless?

We could both do it here.

So we can watch him at the same time.

Oh, my.

Should we?

Okay.

I am so wet.

Just thinking about it.

God, I'm sorry.

Poor baby.

You know, suddenly I'm feeling a little funny about this.

I'm not sure.

Well, what's the difference?

We're both going to do it in different rooms.

True.

I just don't know what to do first, I guess. With you here.

I know.

You watch me and the pole man get it on.

So beautiful.

But you never felt so hard.

We forgot all about the poor man.

He's already gone.

What was exciting was to be doing it, but not doing it alone.

Right. God, that was intense.

Coast is clear.

I need a drink.

Should we hit the pool?

Yes.

Do you want to ease in or plunge in?

Plunge.

Here goes.

So shaky.

Mind you, God, that was something.

I needed that.

Me too.

God, you're fantastic looking when you come.

Oh, God, I can't believe I just said that.

Do you think I'm secretly a dyke? We're voyeurs, that's all.

Brad would have a coronary if he found out.

Joe would too.

No, I take that back.

Joe would be so turned on. He would not let it rest until we did it again and

let him watch.

Seriously?

Yeah. Are you kidding, Joe?

I don't know. We may have to slow down a little bit.

I need to think about that.

Don't hurry.

That's right.

We got all weekend.

Are the guys playing golf tomorrow?

Oh shit.

Much better when I win.

It's a lot more fun.

Oh.

Favoring my back.

That's why I hooked at Subin. A likely story.

That's true. It's true.

Gina got so turned on last night that she clawed my back like an alley cat.

Whoa! Wild woman.

Gonna have to tame her down, partner.

There might be something in the air down here, though, because last night,

Lindsay started doing a strip tease for me while I was watching TV.

Really?

Must have been some show.

Yeah.

You never think of women getting as horny as guys.

Nah. It's just been a while since we'd had sex.

Must build up for them, too.

There are limits, you know.

If it fucks up your golf swing... Absolutely.

Absolutely, a man has to draw the line somewhere.

Hey, look.

Fifty bucks on the next hole.

And if you get a birdie, you can have a date with my wife. You're on.

What if I get a hole in one?

You never had a hole in one in your life.

Fifty bucks on the next hole.

We should go pack.

They're going to be late anyway.

Have you given any thought to that idea with Joe?

You know, so much I can barely concentrate.

Me too.

To tell you the truth, it scares me.

No, it shouldn't be a fear thing.

No, I mean, it scares me because it's such a rush.

Oh, yeah, it made things hotter for Joe and I last night.

God, just think about it makes me hot.

Me too.

God, it did for me and Brad.

I was like a teenager last night.

Fun.

Fun is right.

What are you working on?

Oh, the CBC stuff.

Not urgent. Did you want me?

Actually, yes.

Sure, what's up?

Well, I was wondering if you'd like to watch me.

What, here?

In my office?

No, not here.

Come with me.

Oh, my God.

Yale, hold my calls for a minute, would you?

McKenna's in Las Vegas for Friday.

She'll be fine in here.

I was wondering when we'd do it again.

You were?

I wasn't sure how to bring it up.

I just thought, well, what the hell, just ask her.

Well, I'm glad you did.

Because if you hadn't, I would have.

Oh, doing this at work, it's so bad.

Oh, that's the fun of it.

Thank you.

Bye.

I'd like to try the little experiment.

Fine.

Would you kiss me?

You're so beautiful.

And your body is sensational.

I love you.

But... this isn't for me.

Oh, I love you, too.

Oh, God, you are so serious.

Well, I had to find out if I was really gay. I kept wondering.

I've been thinking about nothing else practically.

But it's what we thought it was, voyeurism.

Thanks for letting me try my little experiment.

Sure, no problem.

You're a pretty good kisser.

Pretty good?

Okay, very good.

Listen, have you given any more thought to the idea with Joe?

Yeah, have I ever.

And I gotta tell you, it makes my motor run.

You? Definitely.

Well, I wouldn't want Joe to know that I knew.

No problem. It's our secret.

It's nothing really.

It's sort of, well, a confession.

When we were in Palm Springs, Gina was telling me about how horny she was.

And she said that sometimes she and Brad don't do it as much as she'd like.

So to get by, she... Lindsay, if this is something about Gina and another man, I

don't want to know about it.

No, it's about us.

So anyway, there we were with our tops off and all.

I have a feeling I'm going to need a drink. You want one?

No, thanks.

And it was hot.

So we were talking about how Gina, you know, plays with herself to get herself

off.

I'm going to need a double.

Anyway, I admit it, I do it too.

And right when we're talking, getting herself off, here comes the pool man.

The pool man? You didn't. No.

We ran the house before he could see us.

But we were both so steamed up about talking about sex and our fantasies and

all, so... So?

Well, we both realized that we wanted to get ourselves off, so we did it on the

couch.

You and Gina on the couch, together?

Yes, we watched each other.

I just wanted to let you know this so there wouldn't be any secrets between

us. What do you think?

Does that feel good, baby?

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Is that better?

Much better.

How about that? Is that a lot better?

Yeah.

Do it to me, Julie.

Put it in me.

Do it to me. Put it in me.

Put it in me.

It's a horrible day.

Do it, Julie. Put it in me.

Do it.

Naughty girl.

Bad, bad girl.

We've got a turn for you.

What do you think?

You wish you could have been there to see us, don't you? Oh, yeah. Do you want

to see us together?

Are you kidding?

It can happen.

She'd be willing.

She wouldn't even know.

I'll try to get back before dark.

You take it easy on those roads out there.

Sure you don't want me to go along with you?

No, no, rest the shoulder.

We'll be back on the slopes tomorrow.

It's a pain in the ass seeing all the tire stores clear over in an inclined

village.

Sure is.

Tell Lindsay I'm going to take a nap.

I'll tell her. You get some rest.

Okay.

What if he wakes up just down the hall?

Are you kidding? Until he... He hadn't to go off.

Yeah.

The door's locked.

He wouldn't come into your room anyway.

Yeah. I guess you're right. Don't you want to do it?

Yeah, I do.

I've been thinking about it ever since Palm Springs.

Yeah, that was fun, wasn't it?

Let me.

Oh, you're so gorgeous.

Your breasts are so firm.

Your nipples are so hard already.

You must like this.

Well, you know, it's different.

Now you undo my robe.

You have such a beautiful body.

I want to watch you come.

Come on.

How does it feel?

It feels good.

You look fantastic.

I love watching you touch yourself.

It makes me so hot.

Let me see you.

Let me feel you.

Tina you're gonna make me come

So beautiful.

Help me.

Put your hand on me.

I'm going to go.

Watch me.

What are you doing in there, Joe?

Oh, my God, Joe!

I'm sorry, I didn't... I was only... I can't. I can't do this.

It's up to you.

It's just too mean.

I knew Joe, okay?

You wanted me to see you?

Yeah, Joe.

Yes.

This is the most exciting thing I've ever seen.

Really?

Yeah, I barely touched myself, and I came, and I'm about to again.

You want to see?

Are you serious?

Fair is fair.

Show us. What?

You get to see us, and we get to see you.

It's only fair.

It's so good.

It's pretty good to me.

How's your shoulder?

Oh, it's killing me.

I just hope it doesn't change things, that's all.

Don't tell Brad, okay?

I won't.

He should feel the same way about this as I do, right?

Maybe. I don't know.

Whatever happens, we have to stay friends. I think that is the most

important thing. I agree.

I don't see a problem. I mean, we're all adults. We can handle this.

And it's just voyeurism, right?

Right.

Who do you fantasize?

Me.

When you do it to yourself.

Sure.

Tell us. It's okay if it's not about me, Joey.

That's what fantasies are for.

Come on.

Well, it looks like today ought to be a day for everything coming out in the

open, huh?

Sort of coming out of the closet, so to speak.

Well, my fantasy is something that actually happened.

With a cousin.

Connie? Mm-hmm.

We were visiting her and her husband, the doctor, Bobby? Mm-hmm.

He got beat in the middle of the night and he had to go off to the hospital.

Bobby gets a call and he has to go, even if it's the most inopportune moment, if

you know what I mean.

Pain in the ass.

Sure is.

Like tonight, I'm going to have to go to bed with my vibrator instead of my

husband. Take a cold shower.

Jerk off.

He always was a jerk off.

I even caught him once when we were little kids.

Remember?

Really?

Connie.

He was in his room, and he thought that we were all down at the softball field,

but I wasn't.

And I walked in on him.

What happened?

Nothing.

Nothing much.

Look, he's getting hard, just like when we were kids.

Oh, my God, you're right.

He is definitely hard.

I gotta tell you, it's kind of making me hot myself.

God,

Lindsay, you've got a beautiful body.

Your breasts are so pretty.

Oh, Joey.

They're so big.

Is it okay if I touch them, Connie?

Yeah, I'd like you to.

This is making me so hot.

Really, Lindsay?

Your wife is very sexy.

You better look out.

I'd like to do her myself.

Huh?

You would?

Yeah, I've wanted to since the first time I saw you. What would you do?

Oh God, it's hard as a rock.

Come feel it.

Oh, I shouldn't.

Come on.

Feel it.

Oh.

Does it feel good?

Yeah.

You better be careful. I'm about to cum.

I want you to.

I want to watch you guys.

Like Connie.

Really?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

What an energy.

I want to watch you make love, too.

Fantastic. We have to get Brad in on this.

I hope so.

Otherwise his face is going to kill me.

Want some of this?

Mmm, yeah.

Sex a week makes you so hungry.

Are you sure Brad would freak out if you told him?

I don't want to underestimate him, but... I bet he wouldn't.

Well, it's one thing to bet.

I mean, this is a tricky area, kids.

It's one thing I don't want to screw around with is my marriage.

Nobody wants that.

All I'm saying is that Brad's always had a little crush on Lindsay.

Get out of here!

It's true.

Brad has never, ever said anything that could even possibly be... He wouldn't.

Not Brad.

But it is true.

I've seen the way he looks at you, Lindsay.

You want some more wine, Red?

No, no.

I'm getting a little lightheaded.

Well, I'll bet the sauna's hot by now.

Anybody mind if I don't help with the dishes?

Go ahead.

Sure. No problem.

Thanks, guys.

I think I'll go up and call Mom. She gets on with Dad during the holidays.

I'm going to sit by the fire.

Oh, hi. You getting all romantic on me?

See what a little wine will do.

Oh, it's not the wine. I've been cold all day.

Crap.

Would you be an angel and do me a big favor?

Whatever you wish.

Run upstairs and get my book off the end table for me?

Sure.

You don't mind?

No, not for you. Oh, you're so sweet.

I forgot I finished that book.

I'm on my way.

Let me see.

No, you shouldn't look.

I'm sorry, I've seen Lindsay naked before.

Well, no, that's not it.

What then?

Come on, I told you. I want to see.

I want to watch this. Look at her.

That's sexy.

You can look too.

Oh, Brad.

That's sexy.

It's private.

No, it's exciting.

Come on. God, Brad, look at her.

Didn't work.

Damn.

You know, I think we ought to...

I think we ought to tell him the whole truth, exactly the way it happened, and

let things fall the way they fall.

He's a big boy.

I really don't think that's our call, Joe.

I know, I know.

It's hot in here.

Bradley, we need to talk.

What about?

About what happened last week when we watched Lindsay in the sauna.

Nothing happened, and we don't have to talk about it.

Except we sort of do.

Let it alone, all right?

I can't.

It's not as simple as you think.

Yes, it is.

No, it isn't.

Brad, please.

Hear me out.

Something happened back in Palm Springs.

We were lying by the pool.

No, I knew he was there.

I guess you had to be there. It was really all very innocent.

But after the jacuzzi, we knew we had to include you.

We just didn't know how to tell you.

So the three of you just set me up?

I was supposed to see Lindsay doing that?

Yeah.

And what then?

Become a big sex maniac?

No, I... I don't know.

We just wanted to maybe encourage you to join in the fun with us. Oh, that's just

great.

But I don't need my wife to pimp for me. Thank you very much.

Brad, don't be like that.

Nobody got hurt or anything.

I got hurt. Me. I'm hurting right now.

Brad, I am so sorry.

I think you're perverted.

No.

No, I must have explained it badly.

My wife playing with herself in front of another man? No, not another man.

My law partner. How could you be so thoughtless?

I can't even stand to look at you right now. Brad, no. I'm out of here.

Brad, no.

Brad, please.

Talk to me about this.

Go talk to Joe if you like him so much. I'm leaving.

You know I don't like Joe.

Brad, I... You know I didn't mean to hurt you. Don't go.

Law office.

Hopefully.

Law office.

Hi, Brad.

Oh, you poor thing.

Sure, no problem.

You'll feel better. Bye.

Well, what did he say? Is he sick or something?

Yeah, he's sick.

Damn, he's not sick. He's just pissed off.

Damn, Lindsay.

Get my wife on the phone. Yes, sir.

Where the hell is my lawyer?

He'll be with you in a minute, sir. Please take a seat.

I ain't got time to wait.

Hi. Brad is here.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm taking some of my case studies.

I'll send for the rest of my things in a few days when I have an office.

Wait a minute. Some of the cases we're working on together.

Fine. Fine. You take Satterfield v. Sullivan.

I'll take Patterson v.

Patterson. You take Breske v.

Graziano. Let me see. God damn it, Brad.

I mean, our firm's going good, and now you're going to fuck it all up.

Me? You and my wife, Patton. Now, get out of my office before I throw you out.

Oh, like hell you will.

What, is that a threat?

Yeah. You threatening me, huh?

Self-defense. You had it coming.

I sat there rubbing my chin.

I mean, how could I get mad?

You know, he was right. I deserved it. Don't you think he'll get over it once

he thinks about it?

He's overreacting.

To destroy your law firm over nothing.

Lindsay, this isn't logical. It's emotional.

You know, in part it's because he's always been competitive with me. Yeah, a

large part.

Yeah, well, the largest part is because you're a goddamn sex maniac.

Me? What about you?

Nobody twisted your arm.

Yeah, well, you don't mess around where you work. It's a man's rule. Everybody

knows it. You broke it and you suckered me in.

Well, I'm not a man, so therefore it's not my role.

Yeah, well, our practice we'd spent six long years building up is getting torn

down now.

I don't know why Brad's so goddamn stupid.

I mean, all I did was let his wife jerk me off.

Don't be so crude.

I feel like it. And I'm depressed.

And I've got to fly to San Diego in the morning.

You know, I'm going to sleep in the guest room tonight.

Oh, Joe.

May I help you? Red Walker, please.

Tell him Lindsay's here to see him.

Okay.

Mr. Walker, Lindsay's here to see you.

Of course.

Mr. Walker's with a very important client, and he suggests you make an

appointment.

Okay, I'd like to make an appointment now. Right now. Hey!

Hey!

What, you got him as a client or something?

Well, Lindsay, what an unexpected surprise.

You know, I like your old office better.

So what did Joe do, send you over as a peace offering, his wife for mine or

something?

No, Joe doesn't know I'm here.

I came by to apologize.

You can blame everything on me.

It was all my fault for Joe and for Gina.

So, I want to make it up to you in any way that I can.

And I want to do it now.

Well, that's interesting.

Just what exactly is anything?

Anything.

All right, I'll call your bluff.

Take off your clothes.

Now what?

Do you want me to touch myself like Gina and I did to each other?

Stop it.

You shouldn't be doing that in front of me.

Oh, Brad, you're incredible.

I've been wanting to do this a long time.

Mr. Walker, your ex-partner, he wouldn't stop. He's coming.

What the hell's the idea of canceling my meeting in San Diego?

Lindsay.

Well, I'll be damned.

Yeah.

My wife, I mean my, my, she always wore red sometimes,

I think.

You got some sisters?

Hello?

Gina.

Joe.

Oh, hi, Joe.

No, I haven't talked to Lindsay today. I just tried to give her a call.

Why?

Can I buy you a drink?

Are you drunk?

Just a little.

Do you need a ride home?

Yeah, I need a ride.

You know, it would serve them both right, those jerks, if you and I did it.

Sounds good to me.

You're kind of cute.

You have nice tits.

I'm going to kiss them.

Joe,

you can't talk to me all sexy like that. I'll get hot.

I'm going to do you right here at the bar. Joe, don't say that. I'm going to

do it. Joe, no. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it right now.

No. Do what?

and food.

get to paradise.

I feel so relaxed.

Look at you.

Yeah. My breasts are small compared to Gina's.

I've always been an ass man myself.

Now that's a pretty sight.

You know, I've had a crush on you since you and Joe got married.

I know.

You do?

Are you kidding?

Sometimes I get turned on just by the way you look at me.

Come on.

Really?

God, I didn't know I was that obvious.

You aren't.

It's just me.

It's like chemistry, you know?

You miss her?

Yeah.

She was crying after you left.

Hmm?

Damn.

You know, I've been thinking that maybe you were right.

Maybe I was overreacting.

I just flipped out.

It's okay.

You couldn't help it.

Yeah, I guess.

I mean, I just lost it.

I know I still love Gina, and I know I still love you and Joe.

If the same thing happened again, I might do the same thing.

Betrayal of trust or something like that.

Oh, hell, look, if it hadn't happened, I wouldn't be laying here with you right

now.

Yeah, but now Joe's mad.

I'll talk to him.

No, it's okay. I better do it.

Okay.

As long as we're here, you need to

say one more full-time thing.

What old times?

Brad, you're incorrigible.

Well, she'd be surprised if they knew.

She'll be overjoyed.

Hey, me too. I got to admit.

Oh, just remember that what happened between you and I just never, ever

happened, all right? Not even when you two girls get together and tell all,

okay?

Oh, and you picked me up at my mom's house. Yeah.

I hope Joe's not too mad at me.

No, come on. He'll get over it. Besides, he started this whole thing.

I guess I'm one up on him, right?

Hi, honey, I'm home.

Hi, honey, I'm home.

Well, not anymore, honey.

Just take your little girlfriend and get out.

Yeah, Brad, how's it feel to see your wife with your best friend?

She was good. She was real good.

Joe really likes my big breath, Lindsay.

Oh, yeah.

You little bitch.

You know that bothers me.

Who are you calling a bitch?

My breath are bigger than yours.

My breath are bigger than yours.

Stop it, Gina.

You're disgusting.

She can do it if she wants to. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, that's my kimono.

Well, I gave it to you for an anniversary gift. Now I'm taking it

back. Like hell.

Okay. I'm taking back my gift.

Why,

you... You get out! Just get out!

Get out! Come, Lindsay, dear. I think that they would like us to leave.

I think you're right, Brad.

We don't want to intrude on their little loveness, now do we?

Oh, heaven no.

I was old enough to know what I was doing was wrong, but I did it anyway

because it felt good.

Why won't you tell me what happened?

I mean, it can't be that bad.

Plus, it would do you good to talk about it.

Well, I'd like to.

I'm ashamed, I guess.

I think you're taking this much too seriously.

Like everything?

You've had a bad sexual experience.

Shape your entire personality.

You've made yourself into a square.

Yeah, I guess you can say that.

But you're not a square at all.

Big deal, you're normal.

And that's it?

Well, jeez, Lindsay, if I'd have known you had the answer, I could have saved a

small fortune in psychoanalysis.

Hey, you've got to loosen up.

You've got to have fun with sex, like we just did.

And if a bad sexual experience turns you into a square...

Then some positive experiences will change the frog back into the prince.

You want to give it a try?

Give what a try, doctor?

Fantasize. Play sex games.

Get yourself so turned on that your skin sizzles.

Kinky, weird sex games?

The kind of stuff that makes you go wild.

What do you suppose Joe and Jean are doing right now?

Lindsay.

I bet they're making love right at this moment.

Lindsey, don't. I can just see Joe slipping his hand under Gina's

beautiful, creamy breast, fondling it, kissing it.

Cuffing.

Squeezing a nipple.

Damn you.

Joe always wanted to steal his breath.

No. No.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Easy, child. I'll be sooner.

No.

Oh, Johnny.

I feel you pressing up against me.

Oh. Oh, Johnny.

Dina! Dina!

Dina!

shoot pool.

I don't like anything.

I don't know.

I tried to be a good wife. You are, Gina.

You don't know.

No, I do know. No, you don't.

I just get so bored doing the same old thing over and over and over again.

If it wasn't for you and Lindsay, I don't know what I'd do.

Brad can't help it.

It's just in his nature.

He's sweet and kind and considerate. And he's hard-headed and he's competitive

and he's inconsiderate. And he's an asshole.

Yeah. But I love him.

I just want him to come home.

And I want Lindsay to come home to you.

I just want us all to be friends again.

Oh, look, I got to go to the communication center. I'll be back in

about an hour.

Okay.

Yeah. When is this thing going to be ready?

I've got a meeting to go to.

Okay, so here we are all together at last.

And I want to say that I'm so glad that you all decided to join me here at this

neutral site.

Let's just get on with it.

Joe, you promised.

That's okay, Gina.

I understand Joe's anger.

I just wanted all of us to get together and talk about things.

Yeah, well, what's to talk about?

Joe, if you want me back and you want your practice back in one piece, shut

up.

Don't you be stupid.

Okay, look.

I owe all of you guys a giant apology. This whole mess has been my fault.

Well, maybe not all, but enough.

Will you just listen to me, for Christ's sake? I mean, without interjecting all

your little comments. I hate that.

This is my conversation. I'm talking.

We'll talk. I'm listening.

Good.

Good.

If I hadn't have overreacted, none of this would have happened.

Something happened to me a long time ago between me and my dad, and I've never

told anybody about it.

In fact, most of my years in psychoanalysis dealt with that and my

mother dying.

Anyway, what I want to tell you guys is that I absolutely love all of you.

They were.

I know Lindsay does, too.

I certainly do.

Well...

So what I want to suggest is that we all go back to Palm Springs, to the scene of

the crime, so to speak, and start over.

Now, there's no pressure.

Just see what happens. We're all adults. We're intelligent.

We're reasonable.

And let's give ourselves a second chance. What do you say?

Yeah, yeah.

Whose goofy idea was this?

Mine. And mine.

Lindsay's helping me out.

Some help.

Yeah, she's showing me what a tight-ass, opinionated snob I am.

Well, that's a start.

Don't push it, Joe.

What about you, Lindsay? Any revelations you want to share?

Actually, being around Brad has shown me how lucky my best friend is to have a

husband like him.

Well, thanks.

I think.

A minute is a compliment.

Good.

Look, I gotta pee. You wanna go?

Yeah. We'll let the boys check in.

It's like old times.

Almost.

Come on, let's go check in.

This is really weird, you know?

I mean, inviting Joe and Gina over to our condo for martinis?

That's a good way to break the ice.

Oh, Brad, Brad, Brad, my little jokester.

That's not what I meant.

Lindsay, relax, take a deep breath.

You're going to explode. Have some martini, will you?

Oh, Brad, you know just what to do.

What if it doesn't work out?

What if we all don't get back together? What if Joe doesn't take me back?

Lindsay, relax.

Joey's going to take you back. Gina is going to take me back.

Get the door.

How do I look?

Fort Knox never looks so good. Okay.

Go outside here and enjoy a little sun.

Oh,

it's much nicer by the pool.

Okay, Joe, you sit here.

You two sit over there.

I'm going to sit here so I'll be next to the fridge and it'll be easier.

Okay.

Okay, everybody just bear with me on this one. Take a glass, everyone.

And I want to propose a toast to old friends.

To old husbands. To old wives.

Oh, to us.

Yes.

Okay.

Now that we have washed off some of the trail dust, I want to tell you guys a

little story.

And that is the story about how I became the biggest square in the West and how I

almost lost my one true love.

Gina, I just want to apologize from the bottom of my heart. Just...

Pray that you forgive me.

Brad, it was all my fault.

I never intended... No, no, no, no, no, no. I have to tell you guys all this.

Something happened to me when I was a boy.

And once you guys hear it, you'll understand why I behaved the way that I

did.

Go ahead. We're listening.

My father was always very straight-laced about sex. And so was my mother, for

that matter.

She died when I was 15.

Much to my surprise, my father brought home a woman one night, and he said that

she was a stewardess and also his girlfriend.

She was very pretty, and I liked her a lot. And two years later, they married,

and she became my stepmother. And my father wanted me to call her Mom.

Oh, shit.

Dad, Brad, you never told me that.

Will you two shut up? This is getting good. One day when I was 18 years old

and doing what you do when you're 18 and you don't have a girlfriend, and in

walked my stepmother, Sheridan.

She caught you masturbating?

Yeah.

She pretended like nothing was out of the ordinary. So she only said

breakfast is ready and I won't come on down. Well, I was mortified.

And I was way too embarrassed to go down to breakfast.

And when I didn't, sometime later, she came back up.

She told me all the boys did it. And it was perfectly normal and healthy.

And that I shouldn't be ashamed.

She made me feel good.

Even special.

That evening, she fucked over me and helped me with my homework more than

usual.

She told me to give her a goodnight kiss later.

I went to her room.

It was cold and she had me crawl in bed with her.

She told me other things about girls, about periods, about not getting

pregnant.

Next night, she wasn't wearing any clothes.

While we talked, she held my penis in her hand.

She told me how to give women pleasure, how to take time, how women like to be

aroused slowly.

And she talked, and my fingers got hard.

She started kissing me, and she jacked me off, and I came all over her sheets.

I was mortified, but she just laughed and laughed until I started laughing

with her.

Sheraton had a friend.

He was another stewardess named Michelle.

And one night, my dad was out of town again.

Michelle started comparing her body to the playmate on TV.

And then Sheraton got into the act.

And it's all so perfectly natural.

It started out just as a joke.

And then it got really hot and steamy.

Michelle started taking off her clothes and then Sheridan did too.

Before you know it, they started playing with me. I was playing with them.

Never would let me have intercourse with them.

They did things to me.

Kind of embarrassed to talk about it.

I'll never forget the look on my father's face.

He beat me so bad that I spent a week in the hospital.

Oh, Brad, I am so sorry.

It was bad.

God, you never told me.

Yeah, he threw Sheridan out and then filed for divorce.

Six months later, he died in a car wreck and we never had a chance to make up.

No wonder what we did hit you so hard.

You equated it to... Yeah, it was the worst thing that ever happened to me in

my life.

Poor baby, I am so sorry.

It's okay.

I got it out.

I'm going to be okay.

No.

I mean, that is if you'll come back to me.

Of course, Brad.

I love you.

Just one more thing.

I have to admit to myself, as well as to you guys, that I really enjoyed those

sex games with Sheridan and Michelle.

I have to say, that story did get me hot.

Me too.

Got me hard. Yeah.

You know what you mean. You are.

Just listening. Just talking about it.

Okay.

It's getting hot out here.

Right on.

Gina, honey, come here. It's going to burn.

Jeez, Lindsay, you're turning me on.

Me too.