Original subtitles

good morning honey good morning

lieutenant

this is the man that shot me

he fences me like mad

Perhaps it is the apron

your cheeks are a very good fresh color

today

please look in your eye

it has suddenly good probably

what a good idea

there is no need to make such a song and

dance about it give it to me just after

all I am the executor it is not

addressed to you no but it would go

without saying that runny would want his

brother as an executor it has gone

without saying

everyone while I read to you the last

real and testament of my dear departed

husband

who was shot by the Germans

he leaves everything to me

[Laughter]

which I stand possessed to my dear and

faithful wife who has comforted me and

filled me with joy joins the Happy Days

of my marriage I wrote that on the

honeymoon

what a beautiful phrase look

there is something written on the back

PS2 event

I can hardly read it it is as if his end

was shaking

who has served so divertedly under me

he collapsible so far in the Parlor

that's so far is not collapsible it is

unless you put the book under it

yes to Maria I live this more billiard

table which has given us both so many

moments of pleasure

I never saw you playing in there always

Renee would make me shut the door and

put a chair into the knob what were you

doing that you did not want to be

interrupted why ask me I am dead

remember

anyway he is done the right thing by me

everything is now mine to Heaven Too Old

Till Death Do Me part he was a good man

there was something soft and sensitive

about him although like you he could be

a little distant at times we are a

cautious family we will drink to his

memory

we do not pour too much that is my best

cognac is best kanyak and now it is my

best cognac

two is memories

oh

it is over it is done

what are you up to now

I'm going to buy myself a new one

why do you want a new hat

remember I am a rich Widow in the prime

of my life this evening my Marvel

Promenade me in this world some answer

is that he will ask

it is they will reply oh young and

slender she looks and must pay my

respects to her he will say

maybe tomorrow morning he will be at my

door bearing a beautiful bouquet of

sweet smelling roses

provided his guide dog can find the

house

[Music]

about 50 miles from the coast

something very important has just come

up

how long have you been out

[Laughter]

the two Airmen and the nunnery good now

perhaps Yvette and I can continue to

discuss the menu for tonight they left

because the Germans came to search for

them they are on their own that is your

problem not mine I don't care if I never

see their stupid faces ever again

[Applause]

it is the Airman

never have known

well look do not let them come in here

you speak the language tell them to go

away go now listen traps red has been

awfully decent putting you up here but

you'll have outstand your welcome quick

we can't walk around as nuns all day the

daddies keep going to chat us out

didn't they suspect the mustache you

think Line's big you should see the

mother's superiors

we're not going back to the nunnery

Fairfax mucked up his needlework and we

had to spend hours scrubbing the steps

why is he showing you his knees it was a

scrubber that's an honoring

no wonder they threw him out when they

tell them to go away oh listen to me

already you are a Vata Link in the

Escape Route for British Airmen this is

a safe house not for me it isn't let us

come to the crunch

the crunch the nitty-gritty are you a

collaborator or are you with the

resistance

is that thing loaded I am desperate I

have one up the spout

make you desperate well

look I am on your side Michelle at the

same time I have a business to run now I

cannot go around being rude to the

Germans not in front of their faces

anyway I will put out my tongue at them

from time to time when their backs are

turned or put a little extra salt in

their soup but we must be reasonable

it is the captain the colonel is packing

under the tree no

I think they are coming in here my God

he must not see them get them out of

there throw them in no they can't go

that way there was a driver with a gun

oh quick through here

poaching well keep them busy while I

think of a good reason why I've got two

nuns in my back room

the organ fund with my reputation

go go keep them busy

uh is any of a freshman that you would

like

that is not on a high shell

we have business with Renee you see in

the back room you know good should be

private we were waiting there while you

find him oh my God quick get them down

and take this event take this

stay back

home stand aside

[Music]

am I interrupting something

Rene is having a special service for his

late departed brother he's not dead the

church don't know that they were going

to have a big one in the cathedral but

this worked out cheaper

some muttering in silent prayer

it's very moving in that case take your

hat off

who is Frank Harris

he was a prophet

[Music]

give it to him

[Music]

I had no idea they played LeapFrog in

heaven

oh quick not now Maria

oh it is Michelle

what does she want well how do I know

come on come follow me

Michelle Michelle where are you hiding I

am here

now listen very carefully I shall say

this only once

I have good news I have come here to

collect the British Airmen I expect you

will be very glad to get rid of them you

can say that again I don't suppose she

will

further instructions will be sent to you

by secret messenger disguised as a

simple Farm worker why do I need further

instructions I thought this was the end

of it all you forget your position your

Rumble Cafe is the headquarters of the

organization to a sister skipping Airmen

to add explosives to pass messages and

to organize sabotage it is all Happening

Here

I hope you'll tell people who want to

marry you the sort of trouble you can

get them into it's like getting into bed

with a time bomb I have empty daddy if I

expect to put them off they cannot wait

to light the fuse

it is

[Laughter]

I want to see my daughter married before

so good Lord sends an angel to take me

away

oh my God already they've come

[Applause]

I must be more important than I thought

why is that one carrying a candle

because where you are going it will be

very dark

it is the Airmen mother we eat them

while you were asleep

I am

see flashing knobs

[Applause]

[Applause]

hello hello this is night talk receiving

you loud and not very clear press your

message over

what does that mean

so we have been trying to get you for

three days

my wife's mother does not understand

flashing knobs

it means my wife's mother is a silly old

bat

knobs now pass your message over

carried away in a chariot

even in heaven say no about my bad legs

this means the plan is coming tonight to

pick up the British Airmen

I say chaps there's a plane coming for

you tonight

what

signals of the owl idiot I am a cafe

owner I do not do impersonations

I will do it

do it too

was that

foreign

[Laughter]

[Applause]

I have four baskets with me

it is hard to get good help these days

Walk This Way

and the mount

what are these for these are your covers

oh

your cover is to be mushroom Pickers if

you are stubbed you are on your way to

the fields to pick mushrooms for the

restaurant

ah this is a good cover the best ones

pop up at night

give them the guns

yeah

they're loaded but they're not cooked

we need guns mushrooms do not fight back

even the Germans found you helping

British Airmen to escape you will have

to shoot your way out whereas Yemen they

are safely hidden follow me

or yet

oh we are going to get away

follow me inside

[Music]

[Applause]

I'm doing here it is

I am disguised as a simple milky maid

look the same when you were a simple far

man

we are very short of stuff we're out

there then I shall take you to them

the idea

this is Claudette

here is Sophia

Bridget

and this flight Lieutenant Fairfax

do we need air he's waiting to be milky

where's castles I'm in charge of the

canteen

you know this seems a bit small that is

what happened to my washing up gloves

what are we all doing here the plan is

doing

includes across

the cross-controlled by the Germans

should we encounter them they will not

suspect six mushroom Pickers and an

adult of cows

are you trying to tell me that the

Germans will not suspect that count

IES mixed amongst the others

it is time you and the farmer must lead

out the cows immediately

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

foreign

[Applause]

[Music]

land in this little field

is not Landing look

[Music]

really stupid

they are going to drop the other side of

the wood quick

it must have landed somewhere near here

what are you doing I'm going no further

until someone tells me what's going on

[Music]

I see something

it is a copper I say is anyone down

there

oh my God not another stupid English man

I say are you from HQ

we rather thought the plane would land

change of plan we're trying out a new

Escape package we'd better get you down

I suppose I seem to be a bit stuck

finally held me up in these wrong arms I

could reach up and pull him down

his strong arms oh but I might drop you

precious

ha

uget

quickly Mariah

what's going on Fairfax

one of the bar mates has pulled the

policeman's trousers down it's all go

isn't it

thank you

that was all rather exciting why have

they sent us another Englishman they

sent me over because I speak French I

think Heavens For That

they have sent him because he speaks

French

hello everybody

[Laughter]

I have brung rootings from British

intelligence headquitters

what does he say I think he brings

greetings from intelligence headquarters

I have disguised as policemen so I am

Uber to move a boot with complete

Freedom

you think you will get away with that

accent

as long as he does not speak yet

we will tell everyone that he comes from

a remote Village in the country on the

outskirts of Peking

you picked up this package

yeah this is the escape bookage you must

heed it in your sealer

what was that the Escape package you

must add it in the cellar how does he

know I have a seller in London we are

not stupid we know every move you Moke

do we have a key or a tin opener

what for if the resistance take a pot

shot at you it will bounce off bounce

off I am not sticking my head out of

there I'll drive

stop the engine your voice down sorry

this is that little knob entrapped

it

give it a bit more choke

did I eat something the Colonel's car

even through his number

[Music]

never mind he will blame the resistance

and shoot a couple of peasants

am I saying how easy it is to slip into

the ways of being a Nazi

thank you

what if we left the main road a

motorcycle was following us don't worry

this Lane leads to the railway line

is he still following just a minute

[Music]

can you see the motorcycle

the moment

I can see the railway line

stop here

I can hear the train coming

yeah

where are they they must be in here

Samantha Drive the glove compartment

have you found anything just some ladies

underwear shaving lotion

ah I have one good

Larry up it is getting nearer I think it

is loaded now I have to aim for the

Third Dragon from the end yes good luck

put your fingers in your ears that may

be a big bang

I can see it one two three that's the

one

[Music]

missed

another shell

can you get a little bit nearer no I

cannot one two three

you have blown up the signal box I think

the barrel is bent there goes the train

there goes Hitler's sausage we should

catch it up further down the line no the

way I drive I would never catch it and

the way you shoot you would never eat it

[Music]

is that in the road it is a farm dragon

ready

fire

[Applause]

second thoughts I will wait a bit

[Applause]

no I wish to surrender

[Applause]

[Music]

step

it is the white flag of surrender

look it is 1A

you Twitter

so you have joined the Germans this

gentleman kindly helped me to borrow the

tanks so so we could blow up the Train

the one you refuse to blow up because

you were blowing up an ammunition Lorry

that is why we are here well you're

wasting your time as soon as we heard

you were going to blow it up we canceled

it who told you he did

[Laughter]

collaborator

Michelle it is all part of a very

complicated plan to do with Hitler and a

sausage

and a lot of paintings which would take

too long to explain I don't understand

half of it myself

or stuff car is approaching what

our mission is blown we must stop her

quick

[Music]

ants what are you doing with humans

little tank I too would like to know the

answer to that question

you see it's quite clear to see what has

happened here flick Rene overheard a

plot by the resistance to blow up an

ammunition lorry assisted by the captain

he borrowed the armored car and with

great bravery found the roadblock and

fought off the resistance who even now

can be seen running across the fields

I was just about to say all that

feels better

my armored car is covered with little

tents and there is mud all over the

wheels

are they convinced by this toy I have

found both hair fleek

see this device is commonly used by the

resistance when they are going to blow

something up not nonsense

this is an ordinary tire pump which has

been discarded by a passing motorist

this would not even blow up a tire

[Applause]

[Laughter]

you have exploded the Gestapo car

well that's nothing to worry about

could always get another car from Berlin

I shall not be informing Berlin of this

incident I do not wish to look right

Nana

Cuba you will drive us home

what's going on now Fairfax a lot of

girls in this candy is they're climbing

onto men's bicycle

oh come on what's really going on

much longer am I to be ignored

have you been I have not seen you for

days do not be silly mama I gave you

your lunch

listen I have good news Mrs the

Undertaker is calling

no no no

I think he is in love with me oh she's

so romantic I think he is coming to

propose to me do you remember we met him

in the Square he has a mustache oh yes

so I remember him well he had a little

stiff one

oh he has such manners and today this

arrived and on it it was his little card

with a love message

swiftly

and we style

he has our opinion of himself

the other side

I always think engagement rings are such

romantic pretty things

and still before my life is done I would

daily like to give you one

[Laughter]

could you read the first part again

quick shutter door where is my wife she

is upstairs dressed up like the dinner

of a dog she's going to parade herself

yet again in the Town Square Hobbit Rena

you should be happy if she marries you

will be free and without a solitary Sue

we will have money we will borrow

explosives from the resistance blurs are

safe Nixa money and add in a little

Garrett in Paris make love dare not

until the war is over

oh

I've already thought of it makes me go

weak at the knees

oh not her again

[Laughter]

now listen very carefully I shall say

this only once

brought by this British agent was

damaged in the landing you must help us

to mend it mend it I don't even know

what it is it is made of silk filled

without air it will lift the basket with

the Airman and with a favorable wind

take them back across the channel

brilliant and what do you want the

needle and cotton some of the fabric is

torn away and missing we need silk to

replace it silk where am I supposed to

find Silk the Urgent crab tree has a

plan which you will explain you must go

and get your hands on girls knockers

sorry perhaps my French could be butter

[Laughter]

is the Patriot

all the girls in the resistance will

sacrifice their knickers

when I hear words like that it brings a

lump to my throat

but even that will not be enough well

How many pairs of knock knickers do you

require at least 40 or even 50.

[Laughter]

I will try for 50.

but it is best you get there early we

are expecting a crowd

and they will be coffee and sandwiches

afterwards

till then we are hoping for an home win

I'll see you then

so many friends

oh I admire you you are like a rock

I know this to be a quality you

appreciate in a man

so worried why well I am is your point

is a crack shot there was a competition

he put one of his balls through a

playing card at 20 passes

Quite a feat

this is how we started in the

undertaking business

Yvette normally I would be worried by

such news but I have a secret

arrangement with the kernel

at the time of the duel he will be on

exercises with tanks and troops and

machine guns and teams and he has

promised to take care of the Undertaker

oh could you not take care of your wife

at the same time

you know I could mention it I suppose

I might be pushing my luck and talking

of pushing my luck who is that English

idiot who thinks he can speak a language

a good die to you

she has heard about the duel

are we alone

I wish to tick to you

kick

he means talk ah yeah we are alone so

tick away

English Airman are no linger in the cow

oh good well where are they then I will

kill them

in here chats

you will never get away with that you

cannot pass those two idiots off as

French policemen I've give them quick

curse in the French long watch

it's nose to spike your tongue

pleased to meet you sir

German's quick in the back room uh

officer if you wish to search my

premises uh I have nothing to hide start

in the back room take care of the crowds

could I show you

listen carefully the balloon is ready it

will be taken and Eden in the old ruined

Barn five kilometers to the north of

town when the wind is favorable a

message will be sent you Renee will

guide the Airmen to the barn where they

will take off an ad Forum oh I I do not

wish to be a wet blanket but I do have a

duel in the morning you know

he is preparing the blue lamps which

will provide zioter for the balloon

quick we will have scooped through the

winder

what did he want he had not seen these

two disguise no he was looking for the

colonel he has gone right to the

headquarters did he want to check on his

sausage

table and ordered two large portions of

Hot Pot to take away that means a nice

quiet dinner with Elgar in the dungeon

this evening

be brave girls

dear girls

before proceeding do either of you wish

to apologize

well and may have been a bit certainly

not

behaved like a pig you will die like a

pig

very well miss you

showing a lot of metal Renee

this was unloaded

choose

you choose to miss you huh

you will start pick to pick

a Panzer command March you will walk 10

pieces

upon the command what

you mean

to command

return and file is this clear

crystal clear right we must proceed

first my personal farewells

for any

the French way

with your headphones

laughs

I'm speaking with you

I hardly know you

okay well it is

farewell it is

I am talking to you why I'm about to get

shot here and you take no notice but hey

I'm just catching up on because

Maria Yvette

farewell

what's up gentlemen let us take up our

positions

back to back

[Music]

excuse me one moment

hearing me there's a bad news that

lifting out Captain gearing have been

arrested by the Gestapo the maneuver has

been canceled

hahaha

Africa allowed to do this I shall

investigate quite right after the duel

well what do you not think you should do

it right away I mean I mean we can do

this any old time

what

[Applause]

one two three four five six seven

eight

nine ten

[Laughter]

cognac please event

any news of grenade not a world

place is not the same without him it's

all clear

[Laughter]

laughs

those eyes they look very familiar

particularly that one

I'm trying very hard not to be familiar

with you I have it you are a relation of

Renee who works behind the bar very

distant

you have very hairy legs

they run in the family

it is you please Lieutenant do not give

me away don't worry your secret is safe

with me no no you do not understand yes

I do

same leanings

dress up as a pancake girl

[Music]

suppose you think I am a coward on the

contrary

I think it takes great courage to come

out in the open and dress that way

oh my God Germans and they are coming to

this table don't worry I will cover

a dance what oh wait no I I don't I'm

not very good oh my I believe

laughs

[Music]

are they watching us don't worry just be

normal I'm doing my best

we will do a few more bars then I will

put you in my little tank and take you

back to my place until it dies down

lieutenant

do you feather of course

just leave me here with my friends will

you you're not really dressed for a tank

I think I better go and warm it up for

you yeah if you need a push start just

let me know I'll I'll get the rest of

the girls

I did not know who it was I was

challenging to a duel you the leader of

the Escape Route

let me kiss the Hem of your dress

can't you embarrass me tell me

in a minute I am going to have to go to

the little girl's room

oh madam

I could not come between you and this

this is perhaps a bravest man in France

and salt I will admire you from afar

good day to you all

Viva La France

Viva the goal oh

you know the goal the one with the big

Hooter

because we have to goal

I think Evans he has gone that he done

very well for you but what am I to tell

my friends I cannot be seen out with a

coward I have the explanation

you will tell them that during the jewel

a bumblebee flew down his trousers at a

critical moment causing him to run into

the river but the nearest river is three

miles away

it was a very big bee

I cannot say what an honor it is for me

to assist you

private

Justice escape death by gust double

toucher

I am quite a character am I not

someone is knocking on the coffin whoa

[Applause]

this is not a corridor nurse

you must be kind to her it was your idea

she should be the cops she is the

nearest thing we have

wagons roll all gone

[Laughter]

Katie there is on the horizon

looks like a roadblock

somebody is disobeying the curfew

funeral processions are allowed

I wonder why Renee is riding in the

front

ivaned by the two corpses in the second

house

they're sitting up and chatting to each

other

is finally getting rid of the British

Airmen so that life can return to normal

like he promised

thanks

tell the sergeant to let them pass

this is a funeral we are borrowing some

biddies

[Laughter]

please

what is this a funeral hair General

I see

foreign

it is my brother's wife's mother

she died of the plague

what plague is this

like that kills brother's wife's mothers

opens the coffin

spreads across Europe we've all had it

here we have quickly

Rusty

oh God sit down how are you today how is

the war going do you have the half time

score is what I want to talk to you

about Renee now I know you have helped

some British Airmen to escape

but I'd prepare to fight the Slate clean

ah thank you kennel but the colonel says

you have got to promise to stop helping

the resistance oh of course Canon now

will you promise me on your honor I will

kennel you must understand I am in

business some of the resistance might

very well be my customers

promise me on your honor well on your

honor as a Frenchman oh well that is

different

[Music]

good you may buy us a drink

[Music]

what is so Dreadful about that somebody

has removed one the one with a little

swistic on it

it is his personal sausage it is the one

containing the painting of the Fallen

red all of its big boobies

rolled up

don't get confused Hanson contains only

the fortunate yes the real one is still

safe in my cellar there you are you have

nothing to worry about I on the other

end do have something to worry about

what if I flickers for it back tell him

it has been nicked he will have me shot

no he will not I'm the commandant here

airflric has no authority to have

yourself he will have to ask the colony

but he will have you shot

that makes me feel much better are you

ready ready

you're very trying to attract your

attention take no notice it will not be

anything important it may be very

important she may wish to sing another

song

what is it the grandfather clock in the

back room needs Landing Edith we have no

grandfather clock

it is good do you never read your code

book it means the resistance is in the

back room awake

that English idiot who thinks he can

speak French is outside

good morning

it is not moaning it is evening now what

do you want

shell of the resistance washes to tick

to you

she has had a nasty accident by failing

of a drained poop

all right you know the code book what is

he talking about carry her this week

and do not let her drip

she has strewned her back and has also a

compost friction of the left lung

listen very carefully shall we spare

this on

as I am in correct pain

her log is in plister of porous

oh my God what did she land in oh yeah

they plan to get rid of the British

Airmen by air oh no not that balloon

again no in the museum is an exact

replica of the plan used by Pierre

LaConte to cross the channel in 1910

Pierre current I have never heard of him

think back you must have done it

was a nut in the pepper he endeavored to

cross the channel before blerio he

crashed but the plan is still airworthy

except that there is no engine

would give sufficient power

so what do you want me to do about it

steals the plan find the motor and

contact me in bed three word seven

nuvian General Hospital

she has pissed out

foreign

I can see the ambush

they're in position

how there isn't even the money

it's late

maybe he was arrested by the troops at

the roadblock you underestimate me hunts

I have equipped him with the disguise it

will enable him to pass freely through

the countryside

laughs

like a chemicals

shut up I will never underplay anything

where is the bridge that is where we are

to meet the girls that the Communist

resistance

there is a bridge over there that is

party they will be disguised as Germans

Germans

there is the bridge

to the left you will be observing the

girls of the Communist resistance they

will be in possession of the sausage

beyond the bridge you will see the cafe

owner and his party disguised as German

soldiers they will be in position of the

ransom money

everything is proceeding according to

plan

I'm not much to look at not much to see

just glad I'm living and lucky to be but

I've got us someone who's crazy for me

I'm funny that way

do you have some money yes we have done

many do you want the sausage it is here

bring the money forward

place it on the ground

retire 10 bases

when we have checks the money then you

will get the sausage

what

what is going on here

this is very suspicious Eric Curt is it

[Laughter]

Communists they trust nobody

he's all there did not worry we will get

it all back again when the Colonel's

troops arrived where are they

they will arrive at Rendezvous I'll

cover the money

it is correct

uh check it again if you like

I already got two

here is your sausage

huh

it is a trap quick it into the woods

a dog has just apprehended the Gestapo

sausage

I'll ask him

three resistance girls are escaping we

will pursue them

thanks our pensions

[Laughter]

sit down

now there are plenty of your plan Mr

LeClaire as a photo has been secretly

slipping away to the cellar I've spied

on him

forging money

it is Leclair is not a good forger but I

know Miss Europe once you will not even

look at the money he will put it

straight back in his mattress he's dead

stingy it is deceitful and underarmed

it is a good plan

how do we persuade Mr LeClaire to reveal

to us where he has hidden his secret

herd

leave this to me

ah and you wish to see me yeah Mr

LeClaire I do not wish to spread panic

but the cafe is on fire oh well I shall

go

my God my savings

my life's haunted spirit

[Music]

[Music]

yeah I love physical activity can I get

you a cognac no I am not allude to drunk

when I am on debt

that no one has been attracted your

discounts I have been lucky but I have

had some narrow squawks

I wish to Spook with Renee

kill him and get me a kissy

okay

good morning ah officer our kind of you

to patronize my humble Cafe

the shell has a massage for you sat here

and she will gin you at this table

I must be a boot to my bossness a

palouseman's lit is not a hippie wind

and he is supposed to be on our side

listen very carefully I shall say these

only words Captain Hook is waiting for

Peter Pan in Never Never Land

there would be very little point in your

saying that twice

who are you ever going to end

who else the plan of Escape for the

British Airman has been approved by

London

good

what plan

escaping the airplane from the Museum oh

surely you are not going ahead with that

airbrained scheme it hasn't even got an

engine

we have stolen from General van Klinger

Earthen the engine of his mother mower

where is it

we will leave it here no one will

suspect it is the best chair of your

mother-in-law

but more of the cursed enemy approach

come Lizette we will melt away

you sent for me hefflict yes Helga you

are three minutes late

my duties with the colonnell end at 5

30. I have to tidy the office and then I

have to have a schnapps with him

I hope that you did not enjoy it not at

all

good you may kiss me

[Music]

also you had a cheese biscuit

the colonel always insisted with my

drink I also have a little nibble

laughs

now pay attention

I will shortly be inviting you to the

Gestapo Club are you pleased of course

hey flick to be in the club with the

Gestapo will be a great honor I know

you will be my partner at the annual

gestapo dance in Berlin first there will

be a banquet with the traditional Boar's

Head Baron of beef frankfurters strudel

sauerkraut and Oodles of beer it's a

place will be full of big noises

including

pumpkin and himla

gestapo dance How does it go hefflict I

will demonstrate

your left left

hand you'll shake your fists about you

you like a little smoky and you burn

down the tongue

[Music]

that's cool

yes

a good lead and has every hope of taking

down the painting this is good news

what do you want one small house I have

to report a serious case of sabotage to

the lawnmower of General one kinkerhofen

so engine has disappeared this is very

mysterious

engine of a lawnmower possibly here

flick someone who possesses a lawnmower

without an engine

you will not be a smartass with me

Nick

to do about General von klich lawn be

untied

get some peasants to eat the grass

at once

[Music]

where are you

[Laughter]

do that you will get lost

[Music]

this is the great Dawn when I was a

seven girl I used to polish it what are

we doing here we are supposed to be in

the bedroom it is a shortcut whoever out

of a shortcut in a secret passage

but he's coming

Vape gun we're not going to get caught I

know it we are going to get cold

at the end of the stairs is the entrance

to another secret passage which leads to

the generous dressing room

follow me

I like polish

that's

it is

um it all depends on whether that is the

North or better than that is the North

and we go to campus I have one of my

space army knife hang on

that is the North

in that case we are going the wrong way

what are you doing

what are you doing you're knocking out

our own people

it's just a good shot doesn't it

thank you

[Laughter]

what are you looking for it was

hurry up and find it Yvette will be

doing her piece in three minutes

ha

[Laughter]

[Music]

foreign

thank you

[Laughter]

how do we get in I am looking for the

knob

how is it I have not seen you before

normally I am peeling potatoes in the

kitchen but I can also peel off the

scenes

how dare you assume that the German

general would compromise himself with a

serving girl

who is that

what do you want I have for you for your

present from her flick a moment

no no it's full under the bed

[Laughter]

do not ask

the present

not only this General he has sent me

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

oh

[Laughter]

[Applause]

[Laughter]

oh the sausage

[Music]

all right

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

until we come down to place

stupid woman what do you think I am

doing in the wardrobe with Maria she has

fainted with cold fear I am Reviving her

with the eat from my body

wait till I get you home

hmm

it is

a clown that disguise was not necessary

I have a message from Michelle if she

will arrive to collect the motor from

the moralities in the bus chair which is

to go into the airplane that is in the

museum and ready for the takeoff

she is off our rocker

you are to collect 200 feet of elastic

to make a catapult to assist it into the

air yeah

where am I supposed to find 200 feet of

elastic yeah every man in the village

you will give up his braces I have

already given up mine have evil of

France

there are Germans coming

come on

hello ladies and gentlemen with your

permission never before seen in Newville

seven clubs in the air at one time never

before seen music it's Maestro please

[Applause]

seven

hey

[Applause]

I did not say I could catch that

[Applause]

is in it they wish to speak to him oh

he's just clearing a table he will be

here in a minute

ah hey Captain Colonel I am sorry if I

have kept you waiting I was just dealing

with a strolling idiot

really there are going on things we do

not understand

really Colonel uh a drink on the house

perhaps thank you

for instance there is the motor of the

General's lawnmower

search me we did we didn't find it

second this vehicle ready what is behind

it is just a simple peasants enjoying

ourselves with with old steam engines

and tractors and things we are after all

all little boys at Art are we not this

is true yes I still sleep Herman my

teddy bear

frequently there and we shall also be

there mingling

truthfully Colonel there is nothing

unusual going on in the village

my braces

[Laughter]

laughs

if I did this man give you his braces

it's a sacred Society yes it is it is

the granddaughter of the um of the year

of the night owls of the night towers

that is right yes the grand order of the

night owls I am the Grand Master he is

the big oot

[Applause]

that man has just been initiated yeah

for three weeks he must go around with

no braces

what type of bridge is to do with night

owls

[Laughter]

night hours do not wear braces

that is why he has taken them up

it's all quite logical when you think

about

do they have girls

[Laughter]

okay chaps over here

in you go Charlie's good are you gonna

drive Carstairs all right I'll have a go

it's quite simple the elastic braces are

tied onto that car and hooked around the

undercarriage we start you up the car is

driven off when the braces are at full

stretch we pull away the trucks and off

you go piece of cake where's England

when you're in the air turn right and

keep straight on

do not talk to me with a pipe in your

mouth

Maria when I give the signal you and

Yvette will pull away the Chucks

standby on the propeller

standing back switch on contact

foreign

Motor Show I suppose

[Music]

I am the hero of the resistance I am

thriving

we are ready all is clear good luck

Champs

go as fast as you can

put yourself down

[Music]

here it goes

down it is the elastic it is at full

stretch

it is

laughs

awesome that has been the right nose up

quick back to the cafe

[Music]

[Laughter]

the news is serious

looking for you he's stormed into your

office demanding to know where you were

what did you tell him I said that as it

was 5 30. you've knocked off for an hour

or two to have a quick run at the Boozer

before resuming your search if I didn't

you tell him I was searching somewhere

he's such a dominating man his powerful

stare makes me feel to go weak I cannot

say no to a man like that oh I wish I

had that kind of stare

almost drink up and get going otherwise

me for the high jump well I'm with you

I'm only obeying your orders

[Music]

stand up your parents stand up against

the wall

hands on heads

stand still okay

with your hands on your head

I'm so generally your powerful stare

makes me built and go weak

I cannot say no to a man like you

who is this idiot it's my second in

command

what do you mean by drinking here then

you should be searching we were looking

for something suspicious do you expect

to find something so special in the

bottom of a class you're incompetent yes

children I agree they should probably

have you cook Marshall yes General um I

think at this point I should say that I

was only acting under the Colonel's

orders stupid though they were

General I can vouch for the fact that

they have just searched this place most

thoroughly and while doing so they beat

several peasants and kicked the

Proprietor in a quite brutal fashion

dude

now let us see what they have quoted our

little net

[Laughter]

it is highly clear

The Pianist General oh The Pianist ah

can you play in the mood

[Laughter]

we have found these two lurking in the

kitchen I see what are these well um

they are the staff heads

this is Fifi and JiJi I've not seen

these two before no and it is not easy

to miss the one on the left with the big

Charlies

today our new girls come out to town

head General we are so busy we had to

take on extra stuff

as is the girls over easy virtue I've

heard about but fairly easy

work to do in my Chateau they are

requisitioned they will start first

thing in the morning hope in general I

will be short-handed they may return

here each evening to entertain my troops

you are most kind General that is all

come over

[Music]

the painting oh a worthless piece of

rubbish General hey is that not joking

this is terrible is that so

are you thinking what I am thinking

about

thank God

in his style you have some knowledge of

these methods have it authenticated

we are taking the picture of a general

that is stealing yes that is stealing

oh that stare again

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

stop the music

how dare you you faceless deceiver

pleasuring yourself with women of the

streets while I am out here working off

my butt

perhaps I prefer the women of the

streets to an old clacker of castanets

Captain are you prepared to see me

insulted in my own Cafe in this manner

well I hadn't thought about it actually

dance on strumpet I am taking these two

upstairs

how can you allow this insult to go

unavenged allow me to strike him stand

aside he died like a dog

oh my god oh I have missed him and shot

the women of the streets that was my gun

couldn't help

my gunship

I was pissing by the door

shut

you are holding in your hand is smoking

Goons

clearly the guilty potty

I'll do it I was not looking

officer

you have no authority over the Glorious

German Army this was just an ordinary

Crime of Passion that happens in France

on any Saturday night

but if it should come to the ears of

General van clinkerer

if it should come to the ears of General

but allow these

guys too and for the usual bribe of 50

000 francs I trust you will overlook

this incident did I make those shut up

is there an Undertaker in the house

Undertaker

I must die

oh what luck

return to this a blonde eye

I didn't do it I did not do it shut up

already they have swallowed it they have

swallowed it I will tell you one thing

is it these Germans they are so stupid

there is no way they are going to win

this war

[Music]

here comes that English is here two

things you can speak our language

good morning

good morning

do you want the good news or the bad

news

oh do let us have the good nose

I have hashed up the shutting of the two

tits

[Applause]

what does factory say of it yeah

good and what is the bad news

the gestapu are hoovering around the

graveyard

just geezed as a nan a bushup and a

Roman Catholic farter

I knew I should not have asked

where are the Airmen

they have taken speeds they have cracked

along the tunnel

I got dogging

well that does not sound like a lot of

fun

supposed to be helping them

what do we do

with my disease as policemen and I'm

able to escute you there look can you

not find a phrase book and improve your

friends

if they do I will tell them that I am

from the left bunk

[Applause]

Maria

h

flowers so we can take them with us and

what excuse do we give to the colonel

and the captain and you leave this to me

dear kennel dear Captain forgive us that

we are departed to pay our respect to

the two women at the street who I

unfortunately shocked with your gun

Hans I think they're up to something oh

Uncle good you're speaking to me

Elite

oh let that be a lesson to you

I think we should follow Renee

often told us to watch the cafe

you're right we should obey orders they

will watch the cafe

ladies and gentlemen but tonight it is

Cabaret time at the cafe Renee and in

the absence of Madame disk please to

welcome from The polybagere Madame funny

Lopez

[Applause]

thank you

[Applause]

[Music]

let's make a Starbucks

[Music]

I was right in the first place we will

follow in it

officers must use the initiative besides

there's no juice for our ears

[Music]

rest to let's turn the back seats

[Music]

[Music]

I love you

[Music]

[Applause]

and sorry if I've caught you at An

Inconvenient moment

can I help you miss you I am looking for

Mr Linney who I observed entering these

premises

there's no deal people such

such

is there a dead body in here hopefully

we put a screwdriver in with them in

case we make a mistake

foreign

why is this coffin full of Earth

I am growing mushrooms

I do not see any mushrooms

that is probably because they have not

yet to come up

you cannot defile the tomb of The

Departed why is the earth in your pool

I am trying to cultivate the stone of

the avocado pear

you have to sit on it to cultivate it

requires a warm temperature

I grew one on a damp flannel

[Applause]

[Music]

it is a tunnel a tunnel

how did that get in there

you can find out where it leads

Hans you go first

now what's going on we have been hunted

by the Gustavo and the Jerry troops in

fact the whole damn lot of them they

find us without uniforms all these shops

but what about this lot with French

Resistance they'll shoot us too I've got

Simpson this is a bit of a pizza there's

an inspection in five minutes of course

with a crowd Channel we'd better said

about hiding them if somebody please

tell me what is going on they are going

to hide us but why do we not go back

down the colonel and the captain are

coming down it oh

God what am I going to do

oh well trying to behave like the

bravest man in all France

I'm stuck

give me a pool

one two three

[Music]

oh no look what you have done

we are trapped and I suffer from

claustrophobia

I have done it ever since my mother

tried to smuggle me out of Berlin in a

suitcase why would she do that so my

father wouldn't find out about me

I say there are some more coming

you're there dressed as crowds that's

because they are crabs

[Laughter]

the cuddler has come out in England

[Laughter]

everyone here is on the Lewis

[Laughter]

away you would be the first to die do

exactly as I say

listen very carefully people say this