Original subtitles

Mr. Bo Brubble for Chris.

Mr. Bo Brubble for Chris.

Mr.

Bo Brubble for Chris.

Your Highness.

What do you think?

For my wedding?

Yes. Really, George?

Yes, yes.

It's exquisite.

Vibrant.

Eclectic. My father says I have no taste.

Oh, no, you have taste, Your Highness.

You have an abundance of taste.

An abundance.

So do you like what I'm wearing or not?

Yes, Your Highness. Oh, stop doing that, George. Just call me George.

Yes, George.

So, I have taste.

But if I might suggest, just a little too much taste.

Too much taste.

What should I do?

If I may.

Certainly.

Everything I do, I do for England.

I feel naked.

My father lost America in a war to the Yankees.

What did it cost him?

Marbles. I run up a few debts and I have to marry a foreigner.

And she's ugly.

How is the king?

No, not good. Not good at all. Bloody awful, in fact. He's totally sane.

But old.

There.

You're trying to make a fool of me.

No, your highness.

No.

I feel plucked.

No.

Radiant. I look dirty.

No.

Manly.

No, I see.

Yes.

Yes.

See the man.

By God, you're a genius.

Yeah.

Mr. Brummell, sir.

What about my bill, Mr. Brummell? And mine.

You must settle your account, sir.

What about these bills, Mr. Brummell? When are you going to pay up, Mr.

Brummell? Mr. Brummell, sir. Mr. Brummell, sir.

Ah.

Robinson, I trust your meeting with the Prince went well?

Was that the table? I did.

There is no bread, no butter, no wine. There is, in fact, nothing on it.

Just salt and pepper.

Robinson? Yes?

What do you call this?

Bootleg soup.

Oh, no.

Not this again.

Well, you haven't paid the bills.

I will sort it out. That's what you always say.

I've got my inheritance.

It's spent.

I told the bailiffs to come back when you're definitely in.

What on earth do you do that for? I value my limbs.

Oh, typical.

Well, that's easy for you to say, out hobnobbing with royalty while I'm stuck

at the coalface.

Maybe you should invite your new friend the Prince round to dinner along with

the bailiffs, get him to sort it all out.

No, no, no.

It'll mean pushing the boat out. Well, what if he doesn't come?

Oh, he'll come? Well, what if he doesn't? Ah, that's the gamble.

The best of everything, Robinson.

Spend, spend, spend. Oh, no.

Oh, I feel a trip to the tailor's coming on. But we owe him money.

So?

Invite him to dinner.

We have royalty coming.

17, 17.

Mr. Bramall, sir.

You've come to check your account?

No. I've come to order a new suit of clothes.

With trousers.

Trousers? Yes, trousers.

You ever killed a man?

Don't seem right doing it in British.

That's 47 and 1.

And there were 23 and 3.

And, uh, how would you like to settle your accounts, sir?

Come to my house for dinner.

Next Thursday, 8.30.

Dinner?

Oh, my, if that's a privilege, the honour's all mine.

I look forward to it.

So do we.

So do we.

Don't we, Robinson?

Oh, yes, we do.

Money's to spend, life's to ruin.

Wine? Done. Look at them.

Snuff? Done.

Grown men, dressed like that, to be ashamed.

Women?

Yes. Come into that. They don't wear scent.

And they wash.

Dandy. Bob.

It's a disgrace.

You are a disgrace.

Oh, kiss my feet. Yeah.

We do what we want,

when we want, where we want.

Got it?

Sixpence. Lucky. Lucky for some.

Unlucky for others.

Roberts. Nah.

Not worth the effort.

Pheasant or partridge? Partridge.

Chief. Done.

To finish.

Tick-tock-tack-tick.

I have found you out. For which I am most profoundly grateful, Mr. Mailer,

but in truth I am not hiding.

You can come in, brother.

Who's not coming, brother? I don't know.

I know who's coming.

Yeah, you always know who's coming.

It's a surprise.

Rumours. Black mendacious.

Filthy room. I'm not putting it about. About me? The only person I hear is

putting it about is you, my love. And with Worcester's mother.

And his mistress.

Ignore them, Worcester.

Who's the chair for?

It's a surprise.

There's only one man allowed to sleep with my mother. That's his father and

he's dead. Only one man in England and that's me.

Beat that, Mailer. The man's deranged.

The last time I saw your father, sir, I was down on all fours with him begging

to make a delivery at the Chaseman's entrance.

Bravo, Julia.

He isn't coming.

Your mystery guest isn't coming.

I'll just go and see about pudding.

Courage. He'll come.

You think? I know.

Your tailor.

Have I come at the wrong time?

Oh, no, we've been waiting. Please, have a seat.

I have to thumbs, please.

Very cordial.

I had no idea you were on such good terms with your tailor, Bromwell.

What do you think of a man who sleeps with a chap's mother?

Me?

Well? Well, um... Mothers are women, and women of need, sir.

Well said.

What about fathers?

The same, if not more.

Because not only have I slept with your mother, sir, but also your father.

All I need now is your wife and son, and I've got the full set.

Such wit.

Pistols, now!

Put you out of your misery.

Before the port and brandy.

Such a privilege to sit at a table with such gentlemen.

Oh, yeah, very good.

Well, what do you think?

Magnificent. Not too late, I hope. No, no, come in, join the fun.

Who are you? The Captain Taylor. Who are you?

The Prince of Wales.

Yeah, yeah, good try, but the Prince wouldn't be seen dead dressed like that.

Would you call my footman?

Oh, yeah, very good, yeah, yeah. I think I'm getting the hang of this wit thing.

And I've slept with your father and mother.

And he's a royal footman, I suppose.

Take him away.

Oh, fine.

I'll see.

I'm harkening.

Well, if you could just settle your account, sir.

I do owe him a great deal of money. You owe this wretch money?

He does owe me a considerable fortune, actually.

And what do you think you owe me?

Nothing.

My life.

Now, how much did you say Mr Bramall owes you?

A considerable... Oh, possibly small... No, no, nothing.

You don't owe me anything.

Any friend of the prince is a friend of mine.

Forget I ever existed.

You better keep my distance.

Oh, I will.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Now, gentlemen, a toast to Mr. Beau Bramall.

Newly appointed sartorial advisor to the Prince of Wales.

And I want you at my wedding.

Best man, witness, something or other.

Now, what's to eat? I want everything.

All of it.

And now.

Stroke of genius inviting the prince round to dinner.

Pure genius.

Sartorial advisor to royalty.

You and me, it's fate.

Fate? My beauty, your brains.

Tempest feud.

Tempest what?

I don't know, it's Latin for something. Like good luck.

Gentlemen, Mr. Beau Brummell, sartorial advisor to his royal highness, Prince of

Wales.

No.

This is not what we agreed.

Robinson. You'll ruin me. Let's talk.

He's agreed to everything. Debt cancelled, 3% of the gross and all the

muslin we need.

My apologies, sir.

It seems I've made a mistake.

On behalf of myself and His Royal Highness the Prince, I'd like to place

an order.

Robinson, I'm out of snuff.

He's agreed to everything. All the snuff you want.

My apologies, sir. It seems I've made a mistake.

Take whatever you like. The choice is yours.

Sure. Who needs money?

Oh, charming.

And you paper I'm so imprudent again. Give me that hook.

Ah, ever improving himself.

Mr. Surface, Mr. Surface. Ah, my dear Sir Peter, I beg your pardon. I have

been dozing over a stupid book.

The Prince and Rumble.

He's wearing trousers.

Gone dandy.

Dandified like grummel.

We're hit.

A palpable hit.

I see.

My darling boy, my beautiful dandy.

My very own boy.

Same as me, George?

Same as you.

My lucky signals.

My lucky bow.

If you're not here for fun, then what are you here for?

Duty. It's my duty, ma'am. What duty is that?

Or to watch over my brother, the prince, and make sure he doesn't bankrupt the

crown.

You're no fun.

I never pretended to be any.

Look at him.

That smile.

It makes you feel like you're the centre of the universe and only thinks he can

get away with murder.

They look like twins.

I wouldn't be seen dead without my wig.

Me neither.

It's funny how sleeping with the same woman has brought us closer together.

So you haven't slept with your mother?

George.

Don't stand for any nonsense.

No, no.

I'll be back in a moment.

Here you go. Come with me.

I'm with the prince. You're always with the prince.

Yes.

I don't want your money.

I don't want it.

What do you want?

Just you and me.

George!

All or nothing.

Of course.

You choose.

Catherine.

All or nothing.

I have money.

I have all the money in England.

How's breakfast?

What would you like?

Nothing, thank you.

Why don't you try some bread?

No, thank you.

No, really, just have some bread. I'm not hungry. Will you have some bread?

Well, that'll do nicely.

Now, you can't say I don't pay you anymore.

What have you lost?

Ah, but I didn't.

Now, eat some breakfast.

Gentlemen, observe.

Here we see your boringly commonplace fop.

As far as I can see, George, he ain't much to look at.

Exactly. Like a peacock, vanity his weakness for all the world to see.

But the dandy stands feet square.

One foot slight in advance of the other.

Bent at the knees, but not too much. Back lengthening, broadening.

Head up, chin out.

Look straight ahead and forward.

Gentlemen, I give you the dandy.

From this day on, we shall be the body at Dandiacal.

You should go into politics, George.

Politics, sir, dresses self-interest up to look well in the public good, whilst

I merely...

and dress myself up to look good in public.

When I am King George, you should be the Prime Minister of Fashion.

And he'll bankrupt the whole country.

The dandy is a portrait of studied carelessness, but without the

appearance of study.

The dandy style, less is more.

No wheat, no powder. We don't use scent.

The dandy wears trousers.

The dandy, oof, washes.

The dandy is clean. The dandy is neat.

The dandy does what he wants, when he wants, where he wants.

Absolute disgrace, sir.

Leave me go and take myself.

A player are your houses.

You replace men with machinery.

Prosperity with poverty and starvation. England dreams while you grow.

Who's that beautiful boy?

No one, George.

No one for you to be concerned about. Who is that golden boy?

Lord Byron.

Mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

Then I should like to know him.

You ordered it.

Oh, hello.

Did I? You've got to stop spending.

You've got no self-control.

I thought you'd be in friends with the prince and solve all our problems, but

things are getting worse.

He wakes it up.

These came for you.

One's from the prince.

That's her again, isn't it?

Yes.

Julia.

She's got her eye on you.

Don't you like women, Robinson? Yeah, I love them.

That's all.

What about your mother? She wasn't a woman. She was a handbag.

No, no, no.

You want me to go over there now?

Then you must go.

Your Highness.

George!

Don't go to sleep, George.

It's very late.

Well, I'm not tired.

I can't sleep. I want you to read with me.

Oh, bother, damn, dash, bother.

I've been at this an hour and I still can't do it.

I want you to help me tie this tie.

Just leave it.

I'm not happy, George. I'm not happy at all.

Why not, George?

I don't know, George.

If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't be unhappy.

I'm just not happy, George.

King still not dead yet, then?

Keep away from young Byron.

He's no good.

I'm telling you, he's not good at all.

Oh, no, not Henry IV again.

You read Falstaff.

Why do I always have to play Falstaff?

Because I'm more naturally the prince.

I am not playing Fatstaff again. I am not naturally a Fatstaff.

Well, what part do you want to play? I want to play the prince. You can't.

The king is my father.

You play Falstaff.

And what makes you think I'm suited to the role?

Because you're...

What? What am I?

Far, far better actor than I am, George. Please, get on with it.

Oh, well, what time of day is it, lad?

Thou art so fat-witted with drinking of old sack and unbuttoning thee after

supper and leaping upon benches afternoon that thou hast forgotten to

demand that truly which thou wouldst truly know.

What a devil hast thou to do with the... George!

George, you're asleep.

I'm so tired.

Look, just show me how to tie the damn tie. Oh, please.

Why don't you just come round and watch me get dressed in the morning?

Can I?

Yes, George, you can.

Right you are.

We're here to watch the bow dredge.

It's all over town. He let the prince watch.

I can't believe it.

There's a crowd of people out there who want to come in and watch you dredge.

Ridiculous. You don't believe me? Take a look.

You know what this means, don't you?

You went to bed infamous and woke up famous.

Nothing can stop us now. No, nothing.

Well,

gentlemen, looks like we're too late.

Any ideas?

So you made it, then?

Yes, brother.

And your wardrobe mysteries?

I should very much like to meet Mr Brummel. And so you shall.

His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales.

And Mr. Bo Grumman.

Lord George Byron.

George Brian Grumman.

Pleasure to meet you, George.

And you, George.

I'm a great admirer of yours.

And I you.

But what have I done? I have done nothing.

Au contraire.

There are three great men that will be remembered from this time. Napoleon,

Beau Brummel, and, um... Lord Byron.

Byron, your highness.

You're a poet?

Yes, sir.

I like poetry.

Do you?

Yes. What sort?

The sort you can understand.

Not too many words.

You also make radical speeches in defence of rioters, looters and machine

wreckers. Yes, the oppressed.

Come along, George, we're going.

I'll follow.

So, where have all the pretty girls gone to?

Eh? Where have all the pretty girls gone?

Do you waltz? Do I waltz? Yes, it's spreading across Europe, sir. Faster

than any plague or fire, an outrage to prurience, fanning the flame of moral

dissent. It'll do more to destabilize the ancient regime of Europe than any

revolution or call to arms.

I shall do my utmost not to let you down.

Excuse me.

Look at him.

All those hands.

Tell Mr. Brummer I'll be waiting for him.

I feel the Holy Roman Empire shaking in its boot.

You are an angel, sir. Not all angels are white.

I like you.

I like you a lot.

If I could be any man in Europe, sir, it would be you.

That's better. Now, don't you go do anything I wouldn't do.

Mr. Bo Bravo for the Prince.

Your Highness, you're late.

The waltz is not a dance, sir.

It is fornication standing up and moving about to music.

It's copulation perpendicular.

I don't know why you didn't just take Byron by the hand and dance with him. He

couldn't. His foot is... Oh, dear. Poor chap.

Why are you wearing that ridiculous sash?

Ridiculous, is it?

Yes. It's ridiculous.

It clashes with your suit.

Oh, I don't give a bugger about my suit or anybody else's suit. Come to that,

it's all so, so silly.

The body dandiacal.

You are its president.

I was coerced.

You used me.

You were coerced?

Stop arguing with me, George. I like this sash, and I'm going to wear it

whether you like it or not.

Well, it's disgusting, and I object.

To what do you object?

The sash, the office, or the man?

It's ugly.

It's who I am!

I advise you not to make too fond an acquaintance of Lord Byron.

His family are all inbreds. They're not to be trusted, neither him nor his

sister. Stay away from him.

Well, thank you for the warning.

I'm not warning you, Mr Brummel.

The Prince of Wales is telling you.

I have an idea.

Let's read.

I don't want to.

I'll be fat stuff.

All right, then.

The bit at the end.

Yes.

Your full story.

McGinn.

My Jove, I speak to thee, my heart.

I know thee not, old man. Fall to thy prayers.

How ill white hairs become a fool and jester.

I have long dreamed of such a kind of man.

So surfeit-swelled, so old, and so profane.

But being awaked, I do despise my dream.

Look at them.

I don't like him.

He's unlikable.

Julia.

How would you like me?

As you are.

Together.

Are you awake, sir?

Yes, I am.

Hello, Robinson.

Lord Byron.

Come in. Mrs. Julia.

But you weren't waiting in the hall.

It is urgent, Mr. Bramwell, sir.

What's going on in there, then?

What do you think?

I don't like it.

You don't like anything. You were born miserable.

If you say so. I do.

Message from the prince. He wants you over there now.

Oh. Let him wait.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let him wait.

You're not joining in. I don't want to. And you're not watching either. I never

said I wanted to. This is between Lord Byron, Julia and myself.

Well, I don't approve.

You don't fool me. You've got no morals. This is not about morals.

Those two are bad for business.

The Prince doesn't like Byron and she's got her eye on you.

Go back to bed, Robinson.

I will.

I am.

And keep the noise down.

George?

George.

Stay on, George. You look like you've seen a ghost.

I was expecting the devil.

I am the devil.

Oh, a fallen angel.

Have you seen the paper?

I woke up and I didn't know who I was.

Can you believe it, George?

And then I remembered.

Prime Minister assassinated, shot dead in Commons Lobby.

That one's gone mad.

Doesn't seem real.

Isn't that a date of... Chaos.

Well, the world's a dangerous place, George, to think anything else is a

danger in itself.

I woke up.

And I was nothing.

I was no age, no time, no place.

I was on a precipice looking... looking down into the abyss.

Oh, jump, George, jump.

Man's never more alive than when he chooses to jump.

Never more certain of death.

Yes, but the glory, the fame.

I hate you.

Something to give.

My angel.

Come back to bed.

You wouldn't just leave.

A meteorite.

Tell me.

Prince among men.

Won't just go.

My shooting star.

I envy you.

Come back to bed.

I make no impression.

I take and give nothing.

Can't even cry.

It's not the impression that matters, but the intensity with which we burn,

and you... You outshine the rest.

You won't just go.

He's late.

I'll go and look out front again.

When he arrives, one of us will have to go, sir.

Both, sir.

The Prince Regent's majestic arse will need two chairs, one for each cheek.

Show some respect.

What's Maynard doing up there?

Only the haute couture of the bon tour allowed at that end. What's the haute

couture? A cream.

Cream rises, brother.

So does shit.

Dickie. Here comes the sting.

You owe me 7,000 pounds.

You've got no sureties. Everyone in London knows that.

The Prince of Wales is my guarantor.

I he know Prince.

You need to consider more carefully the friends you keep.

There's a lot of linen you've got there, Robinson.

Mr. Bromwell's necktie, sir. He anticipates a lot of failures.

Robinson, this shirt is creased.

I'm sorry, sir.

Damn this shirt.

Damn it, another.

You started without me.

Do you forget who I am, sir?

Oh, you make too large an impression on the world for that, sir.

Show some respect, sir.

I show His Royal Highness all the respect that I have.

Oh, Byron.

You're like horsemen, you know. You get everywhere.

Ah, I see that others share my good opinion of you.

That tickles your fancy, does it, gentlemen?

Well, it doesn't tickle mine. Bugger off.

And will you be remaining long in London, Lord Byron?

The weather always takes one by surprise.

There's so much more weather in the country.

I think if you've seen one bush, you've seen them all.

Why don't you do us all a favour? Lock yourself in a room somewhere and write a

poem against something.

Against what?

Deception.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave.

When first we practiced to deceive.

A new snuff box, George?

Yes, George.

I say, what a beauty.

It was a present.

I see.

That's a very nice snuff box, George.

Really very, very beautiful.

Yes, yes, it is.

Beautiful. It's only a snuff box, Your Highness.

There's no harm admiring Snuffbox.

It's a gem.

No, it just... It all seems so petty.

Petty?

Petty. Yes, petty.

There is more to life than petty personal desires.

Like strutting around and preening yourself, pretending that the fate of

humanity rests upon your shoulders, when in actual fact you are a deformed, idle,

selfish creature.

With no interest in the world beyond yourself.

It's only a snuffbox, George.

Then give it to me.

Byron gave it to me.

But it's so petty.

Yes, it is.

Lord Byron, sir, I forgot to say you've been called to the Lords immediately.

Really? Yes, really.

Well, I don't think I'll go.

I'm in no fit state. I've had a drink. If you don't mind me saying, sir, I've

never stopped you before.

Very good, Robinson.

Very good.

It's time I was going anyway.

Your Highness.

George.

Robinson.

God interfering.

Now, give him the snuffbox before he excommunicates us.

There.

I don't feel guilty.

I don't want you to feel guilty. You want everyone to feel guilty like they

owe you something. It's the way you work.

Rubbish.

Now, get in there and give the prince one.

You don't have to, George.

No, I want to.

I really do.

Go to my jewellers.

Any box you like.

I'll tell them not to charge you.

No, there's no such order being placed by the Prince Regent.

Oh.

Look again.

Well, it won't matter how many times I look.

If it's not there, it's not there.

Oh, but the Prince personally assured me.

Well, he hasn't told us.

And until we're assured that what he's assured you is true, then we can't let

you have anything.

You, sir, are ridiculous.

Would you please inform His Royal Highness that Mr. Beau Brum is here?

The Prince Regent is out.

Of course he's not out.

He's always here at this time.

You know who I am?

Yes, sir.

Would you tell him I called?

I really am a very good friend of the Prince Regent.

Yes.

Yes.

Where is the Prince Regent?

He's not turned up.

He couldn't have got the invitation.

It was delivered. I made sure of that.

I am throwing this party in the Prince's honour to celebrate the defeat of

Napoleon, so why isn't he here?

The Duke of York wants us all standing in a line.

Napoleon was only short, you know.

Must be a great inspiration to you, I'm sure.

His Royal Highness, the Prince Regent.

I knew he couldn't keep away.

He's working the line.

The drought is over.

How do I look?

Mutton dressed as lamb chop.

Well done. Very well done.

Your Royal Highness.

How is your mother?

Very well, thank you, sir.

Good.

Good, good, good.

Will you fetch me a glass of water?

Of course.

Ah, Mailer, splendid party. Congratulations.

It was my idea, George. A wonderful idea of yours, Mailer. Yeah, he had nothing

to do with it. It was me, George. Oh.

How is Worcester's mother?

Very well, sir.

Hey, who's your fat friend, Mailer?

What?

What are you looking at me for?

The Prince Regent wishes to know to whom the gentleman on my right was referring.

No, George, it's me.

It's me, George.

Enough's enough.

Come on, this is ridiculous.

You cut me, I cut you.

It's all part of the game, isn't it?

I... I didn't mean fat.

So what did you mean?

I meant... For you, from the prince.

Oh, no, no, no. I gave it to the prince as a gift.

I was told, give it to the stranger.

Yes. I've come to settle Mr Brummell's account.

Can't you read?

You don't remember?

I was a tailor.

Oh, yeah.

Your master ruined me.

That's no excuse for becoming a bailiff, scum.

It's a lucky man who has the prince in his pocket. Bugger off.

I'll be back. And I'll smack your one.

Don't turn.

I'm honest.

He's as stuffy as one of Wellington's boots.

And twice as thick.

He's my husband.

Help me get back in with the prince.

Mr. Browman, is that really necessary?

What, sir? You'll stand quite so close to my wife.

William, he's not standing.

We're dancing.

Yes.

It is the dance.

Well, if you were different dogs.

One a little less fresh.

Oh, my darling dear husband.

You don't have to worry about Mr Brummel.

He's not interested in me.

He's more likely to be interested in you.

Well, then just don't stand so close together.

Rub my shoulders.

What you need is a rich wife.

Lady Devonshire.

Spoken for?

Winchester's daughter.

Mailer's making a bid for that one. He's already married.

She died.

Oh. Well, if Mailer's my only competition, let's book the church now.

And he's wealthy.

Yes, but who's ever heard of his father, huh?

Who's ever heard of yours?

Help me get back in with the prince.

Mr. Brock, on the hand, my wife.

Oh, darling, he's not doing anything.

If the Duke would care to take a seat, I'd be more than happy to give his

shoulders a rub.

No.

Thanks very much, but no.

Perhaps you'd prefer to lie on your front, and I'll do you from behind.

Go on, dear.

It'll do you good.

No, no, no, no. Thanks, but no.

Tell me, sir, how is your Royal Highness's brother, the Prince?

Why ask me? You know him better than I.

He's your brother?

There's no law that says I've got to like him.

And you do well to keep your distance from him.

He can't be trusted.

Once you fall foul of him, that's it.

It's very hard to get back in his good books.

When did you last see him?

Oh, not for a while. I haven't been very well.

George told me you'd fallen out.

No, no, no, that's not true.

He even got me to instruct his jewellers not to serve you.

No, no, we're all made up now.

Darling, do stop hogging, Mr Brummel.

It's not me that's doing the hogging.

Thank you, sir.

Mum.

He really should get that lock seen to.

Bastards.

This is Edward.

He can be very persuasive in an argument.

Bastards. Bugger off.

Grab him.

Where's Mr Brummel? Go to hell. Yes, sir, that's where I'm headed eventually.

But first I've a few earthly details to attend to. You'll get nothing from me.

How much do you think a little finger's worth?

Go on, then, do it.

What's going on here?

Oh, look, Edward, it's the organ grinder.

We only want his little finger. You can take mine.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want more than that from you.

Edward, this is Mr Brummel.

Wit.

Dandy.

And inventor of the trouser.

Go on.

Say something funny.

Leave him be.

No.

Say something funny.

It's not very funny.

How many other people's lives you've ruined without even noticing?

Trod on in your cavalry flags.

How much do I owe you? More than you can pay.

I'll write you a cheque. You haven't got a pot to piss in.

Look on this as a friendly chat.

When I come back for the money, we'll have a proper conversation.

And if I'm very lucky, Edward might get to sing for you.

Please.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm all right.

Looks like they're in business.

Yes.

They took me by surprise, that's all.

But what are we going to do without the prince? We've got no credit.

I know exactly what we're going to do.

£60,000, gentlemen.

Between the three of you.

Just the sign.

Whom do you cite as your referee?

The Prince Regent.

But you're not speaking.

Oh, water under the bridge.

Remember, one of you defaults, the others will have to pay their share.

This is a gentleman's agreement.

It's my considered opinion, brother, that you're making a grave mistake.

Oh, Bobby, stop being such a bore.

Now, get me a drink.

Well, now I can get on with the East Wing.

What will you do with your share of the money, Brummel?

Spend it wisely?

Or piss it up against the wall?

Guess who?

Julia.

Oh, Julia.

Sit down, sit down.

George Brian Bramall, the luckiest man in England. Yes.

How much money have you won?

Everything's playful.

I'll be your lucky charm.

I can't lose.

Are you hungry? Have you eaten?

Oysters, caviar, foie gras?

Whatever you like.

Anything you like, really.

I'm lucky. I feel really, really lucky.

Right. Right. Right. I'm a lucky star.

Yes. Hurry. Come on. Hurry.

Whatever you want. Oh, gorgeous.

Huh? We are going to break the bank tonight.

Yes! Yes!

Are you all right?

Hmm?

Oh, yes.

Yes, sure, I'm all right.

Yes, I've never felt so all right in all my life.

Really.

God.

Monsieur, bonjour.

Again.

Remember thee.

Remember thee. Stand down.

I doubt it not.

Stand down. I remember thee. Get off.

Thy mistress too shall think of thee. Get down.

shalt thou be forgot.

Enough, sir.

Her fault to you. Stand down. To me, wife.

Remember thee.

Remember thee.

Have you nothing poetic to say, Mr. Baylor? I have nothing to add to the

nothing that has already been said.

George! I didn't know you were in.

I didn't know you were back.

Oh, I've been chased across all England as by a whirlwind.

From county to county, blasted by moral outrage.

I thought you went to Whitby.

Yes, I was.

Swept up by the North Sea, swallowed whole as a boy, and spat out on the

sound of man.

You beat your wife.

That's what she says.

Drunkenness, cruelty, infidelity.

What do you say, George?

I don't know what to say.

Lend me some money.

Oh, money.

George, I've got no money. I have a bailiff.

Sitting in my house, refusing to leave until I've paid all my debt.

I'm auctioning myself England.

What number should we bet on? I haven't any money. I thought you'd have some

money. What makes you think I've got money? You always have money. Never had

money.

What do you want? Why do you keep following me? We don't like you. No, we

don't.

Come on, George.

I've discarded my wife, tired of my mistress, and moved on to my

sister.

I am so unhappy.

There's no room to move. There's no room to move in this anti-Bonapartist heat

where they employ logic as the enemy of reason.

I don't know what you're talking about, George. The English love freedom, but

they're not political. They're spiritual, not religious.

They're quick-witted but not intellectual and deeply, deeply

suspicious of anything that smacks of art.

What has this got to do with me?

Well, you are art, lived as life.

I don't understand.

Neither do I.

My wife broke into my writing chest, discovered everything.

And now she wants to make me pay.

George, do you mind if I ask you something?

No, George, anything you want.

Do you think that just for...

Just for one instant, one tiny moment, one fraction of a minute,

you might just possibly see your way clear to talking about something other

than yourself.

No. You see?

But nothing to talk about.

Nothing to say.

You've changed.

You haven't.

Look at me, George.

Look me in the eye and tell me what you see.

Nothing. No.

George, no, that's where you're wrong. Hope.

My life is my art. My art is my life. Life is art.

And art will save us all.

You know nothing about people.

Grow up.

Where are you going?

to grow up.

All or nothing.

Oh, wait, wait a moment.

It's my six-month.

It's done.

Excusez-moi.

Yes, all right, it's nothing.

Monsieur, bonjour.

Très noir and very long.

Hello, Charles.

Bobby.

What's that?

Charles. Gentlemen.

First, we make a night of it, and tomorrow, we do business.

What business?

The first repayment of monies owing on the cash you, Charlie, and Worcester

borrowed.

It's not funny, George.

No, no, no, it's not.

I don't have it.

What do you mean, don't have it?

I don't have it.

I haven't got it. I have no money.

George, you must... Never listen. I've got no money.

Then we shall get it from your referee, the Prince Regent.

I fear you won't have much luck there.

We made a gentleman's agreement, sir. Mr Brumlin's not.

Has never been and never will be a gentleman.

You should know, Dickie.

Dickie Miller, the Dandy Hiller.

Yes.

Only you.

Only me?

You're still with me.

I'm afraid there's been an incident, sir.

One that calls for a bread knife?

I don't know.

But it might.

Very probably.

What sort of incident?

A break-in.

The theft?

In the night.

The theft in the night.

I took some cash.

I'm with it, my trust.

My friendship and my love.

You poor unfortunate creature.

Yes. Have you notified the proper authorities?

I am the proper authority.

But before I go any further, I thought I'd better ask.

Did you see or hear anything?

I was desperate.

I acted blindly.

Thank you, sir.

And now I'm going to kill you.

No, no, no, wait, Robinson. I can't explain. After I've killed you.

No, you're mad!

That's right, I'll plead insanity.

Arthur, please, don't. I am.

I'm going to kill you. No, you can't.

I can.

You're putting me off.

No, I'm not.

Don't look at me like that. How can I kill a man who's looking at me like

that? Like what? Shut your eyes. No. I said shut your eyes!

You're not really going to kill me, are you? It's not funny. No laughing. This

is not funny. No, it's not funny. No.

No, you clearly are going to kill me. I bloody well am.

Now, close your eyes.

I can't.

It's no good.

I just can't do it.

It's not that I don't want to kill you. I just... I don't... I just can't.

I understand.

Don't worry.

I won't think anything less of you.

I'm afraid you'll have to kill me.

Oh, no, I can't.

There's only one thing for it.

Not deep down.

I wish there was something I could do, but...

The cost of everything and the value of nothing.

Take it.

It's only money.

Ah, Mr Bramall.

Do you want to come with us now or wait till after the show?

Bastards. He's very keen to think for you, Mr Brummel.

After the show? After the show, then.

That's when I'll collect my debt.

And all without any foundation, too.

That's what vexes me.

Aye, to be sure. There is the provoking circumstance.

Without foundation.

Please, don't stop on my account.

There's the mortification.

Indeed. For when... For

when... Line.

For when a scandalous story... For when a scandalous story is believed against

one, there is certainly no comfort like the consciousness of having deserved it.

No, to be sure, there...

...error to engage or play the fool at large on life's great stage.

He's gone!

Bastards.

I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear.

Men said it's gruesome, but come on, so I can take care.