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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, this is Kat.
Leave a message and I'll call you back.
Hi, Kat.
This is Nick Mercer.
Sorry I didn't get back to you last
night, but I got your messages.
All seven of them.
I know you're nervous, Kat, but this is
what I get paid for.
Now, I'm running a little late, so I
sent a messenger to pick up my ticket.
Kat, stop worrying.
Your ex-fiancรฉ will wish he never left
you, and your family will think we're in
love.
You're going to have to trust me.
I'll see you at the airport.
Can't wait to meet you.
So sorry.
I wasn't quite ready for you.
It's a plane ticket.
For a date.
My date.
For my sister's wedding in London.
You need to let go.
You're going to have to help me.
Leave me breathless.
Harry, I'm
not working today.
I'm going to my sister's wedding.
Customer service will have to survive without me.
But Kat, we had three flights delayed and
two reps called in sick.
And a 2505 on the A20CPE to LGW.
And oh, and there's this guy on line
two who got stuck with his in-laws
because we couldn't get him out of Heathrow.
Harry, I'd love to help you.
Sincerely.
But I haven't seen my family in two
years, and my flight leaves in 15 minutes.
Uh, Kat?
Please.
I'm begging you.
Bump the 1414 to the upper on 1610.
What about line two?
Check my bags.
I completely understand.
You just want your family to see the
way you see yourself, or at least the
way you would see yourself if you didn't
feel so victimized by them all the time.
Hello.
Mr. Rajagopal, we regret that you are inconvenienced.
Unfortunately, we are not liable.
But just this once, I'm going to refund
the full price of your ticket and credit
you 10,000 frickin' farm miles.
Thank you for calling Virgin Atlantic.
Your first trip?
My sister's getting married and the best man
is my ex.
In case I chicken out, I want to
know where all the exits are.
I'm not a knuckler.
I fly all the time.
The reason I can't find my legs is
that any second my date is going to
sit down in 3B, and I need him
to look really, really, really, really good today.
Hello, 3B.
Hey.
That's it.
I'm glad you found it, okay?
The airport, the plane, I mean.
I'm sorry we couldn't leave sooner.
I know you wanted a few hours to
get settled before the party.
Work must be crazy.
Oh, I should warn you.
You know those families where everyone's out of
their mind, but at the end of the
day, they're your family, so you love them?
Mine's not like that.
I love my dad, but since he's my
stepdad, he's technically not family.
He's more like a hostage.
We will shortly be arriving at Mountain Heathrow.
Please remain seated.
Good morning.
Oh, man.
Please tell me you're not wearing that tonight.
I am.
It's no big deal, really.
It just looks like a tailor cut off
a yard of my dress and made a
tie out of it.
Don't get me wrong, matching's fine.
It's matchy-matchy you want to look out
for.
This is definitely matchy-matchy.
You think we look like we're trying too
hard.
Exactly.
I want us to look like we fit,
but not like we're trying too hard to
look like we fit.
Let me teach you a trick.
If you look people in the eye, they'll
never notice what you're wearing.
Well, there's no way I'm showing up in
his and her outfits, so if you're going
to wear that tie, I have to change
my dress.
Driver, will you please pull over somewhere?
I'm sorry.
I promise, Nick, this is the last one.
You must think that...
Who knows what you think.
I know how important this is for you,
but remember, you're a beautiful woman, and you've
got everything in the world going for you.
Don't patronize me.
I feel like crap, and if I'm going
to feel like crap, I want to look
hot doing it.
Mission accomplished.
Really?
Don't get too attached.
I prefer the red one.
I'll let her know.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Nice dress or hmm?
Gorgeous.
It was insane to let you go.
Well, I'll tag you.
If that's fine with you.
I don't know if I can do this.
Well, you're never going to be sure of
anything, but you still have to go inside.
Aunt Bea!
Dear girl, this should have been you getting
married.
You know, you didn't have to return the
gravy boat.
And to think Jeffrey is the best man.
Have you met Nick?
How do you do?
Oh.
Charming.
And what do you do?
Excuse us.
Nightmare.
Okay, we need a story.
You're a therapist.
We just started dating, and you're crazy about
me.
Count it.
Six thousand, even.
Oh, I trust you.
No.
Count it.
All right.
Tell you what, I'll cover expenses, but if
you want to be intimate, we talk money
before anything happens.
Oh, no, no, that won't be an issue.
Believe me, I find the idea of sex
for money morally repugnant.
I'm sorry.
No offense.
Do me a favor.
Quit apologizing.
If you look at this for what it
is, a simple business transaction, maybe you won't
feel so compelled to keep saying I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's also really annoying.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Pussycat!
What happened to you?
Pull over for a quickie.
Mom, this is so not the time to
be yourself.
And who might this be?
Hi, I'm the new guy.
It's great to meet you.
Lovely.
This is a marathon, not a sprint.
We've got welcome cocktails today, then tomorrow's young
people in the park, followed by stags and
hens, Friday's picnic, then the rehearsal dinner.
And since you have so foolishly left no
margin for jet lag, I need you to
hydrate.
Dad.
My darling.
Meet Nick.
Professor Ellis.
How'd you do?
Cat?
Hey.
Oh, I missed you so much.
Gosh, who's the hunky, huh?
Nice.
There you are.
Times like these, I find a good stiff
drink helps, don't you?
Oh, well, can I get you a refill,
sir?
I'm very kind of you.
Where did you find him?
Thank you.
Yellow pages.
Hello?
Oh, sweet Jesus, who gave that woman an
amp?
Hello?
Hello?
Oh, wonderful, it's finally working.
All right, does everybody have a drink?
Because I'm going to say a few words.
Welcome, friends and family.
Victor and I are so happy that you're
here to celebrate with us as we welcome
Edward and the Fletcher Wootens into our family.
You know, it's funny, we always thought that
we would marry off Cat first.
We had good reason to hope, because she
was so popular with the boys at school.
And we came pretty close once, but as
you all know, that crashed and burned.
Luckily, we were able to get the deposit
back, so here we are again.
Ah, yes, yes, well, back to the bride
and groom-to-be.
Edward, we are so glad that you fell
in love with the girl next door, our
Amy.
Congratulations, babies.
Congratulations.
Jeffrey.
Hello, Cat Mandu.
Wow, you look gorgeous.
Gorgeous.
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my
God, oh, my God, oh, my God, a
top cat.
Where the bloody hell have you been?
I have gynecologists at home more often.
You have more than one gynecologist.
You have to play them off against each
other, otherwise they think you're easy.
Hello, arsehole.
Listen, since you dumped my cousin brutally and
without cause, you won't mind if I just
steal her away, will you?
Thanks.
I wasn't saving you from him, I was
saving you from yourself.
You, my love, are too bloody nice.
By the way, did he bring a date?
Darling, why waste ten more seconds on that
horse's arse when Mr. Tie-Me-Up-Tie
-Me-Down is waiting for you over there?
What does he do, anyway?
He's a therapist.
The perils of parenthood.
Oh, God, I think I've just come.
Thank you.
Can I have that?
Heather, you know what I love about all
this, Cat?
There's finally a reason for the whole world
to revolve around you.
Exactly.
How's the future, missus?
I'm perfect.
I'm all ginny.
All snufflepuff.
Am I not the luckiest bastard on earth?
Well, I'll dance to that.
You know, that's what it gets for not
taking dance lessons until two days before the
wedding.
Oh, come on.
Who's ever had a dance lesson for a
wedding?
Well, just about everyone.
You are taking the piss?
We'll go with you.
I don't even know you, hunky-dunky, and
I love you already.
Dance lessons.
What?
Hey.
Oh, hello.
Weddings are a celebration of love and commitment.
In utopia, in the real world, they're an
excuse to drink excessively and say things you
shouldn't.
Philosopher, huh?
Shrink.
Crikey.
What?
No, nothing.
Right on.
Well, you yanks in your therapy, it's a
load of touchy-feely mumbo-jumbo.
Spilling your guts to a total stranger, I
Oh, God.
It's just, well, there's this girl that I
care for.
Well, I suppose you could say I love
her.
And the bugger is, of course, she's here
with some other guy.
Here you all are.
Hey, Kat.
Hey, Kat.
Oh, hey, yourself.
I see you met my ex.
I was just telling him how we met.
The next game.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But you hate sport.
I hate cricket.
Right, yeah.
Well, I should go and, uh, go.
He looks miserable.
What were you talking about anyway?
He seems a little drunk, but I think
he's still crazy about you.
Do I know you from somewhere?
No.
What did he say?
You don't, you don't think he wants me
back?
Here we are.
Come on.
Thanks, Mom.
Thanks, honey.
Thanks, Dad.
Thanks again for having me.
Oh, don't be silly.
It's wonderful to finally meet you.
Although technically, I never even knew you existed.
Come on, buddy.
I love surprises.
Where's Nick sleeping?
My mother has this rule about men and
women sharing a room when there's no ring
involved.
Don't be silly.
What?
I am not as small-town as my
daughter seems to think.
Sorry about this.
I went through a painfully earnest floral phase.
Air supply?
Oh, my, um, my parents had a German
exchange student a few years back.
He must have left it here.
Everyone knows they're great as hits.
Some of their lesser-known ballads are surprisingly
poignant.
Is that an old habit from ballet class
or from a lifetime of walking on eggshells?
I never took ballet.
How'd you know that was me?
I have a friend at the magazine.
So much for anonymity.
Go ahead, take a look.
Part of the package.
I'm, I'm sorry.
I'm just, I'm a little nervous.
I never thought anything like this could happen
to me.
This happened to you?
Happened in the sense that I picked up
the phone, tracked you down, flew you over
here and gave you $6,000 out of
my 401K.
Oh, will you grab my shampoo, please?
Shampoo.
Got it.
I'm all out of love.
I'm so lost without you.
I know you were right.
Barely even for so long.
I'm all out of love.
What am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that
I was so wrong.
Um, the part where you were a sexual
surrogate and then started to branch out, is,
is that really how it happened?
The real story, my mother was a hippie
and a stripper.
She was insanely inappropriate with me.
She used to wash her lingerie in my
bathwater while I was still in it.
Oh, wow.
So as an adult, I needed to find
ways to experience intimacy and sex, but with
rules that couldn't be violated.
Wow.
I'm just screwing with you.
Oh, shit.
Okay, this part.
You say, and I quote, every woman has
the exact love life she wants.
Now, that seems like a pretty broad generalization.
Oh, do you
honestly believe that I want to be single
and miserable?
Do you think that I want to be
hung up on some guy who led me
on for years and out of the blue
just shattered my heart?
Well, first of all, there's no such thing
as out of the blue.
And second of all, yeah.
What?
When you're ready to let go, to be
un-single and un-miserable, you will.
Till then.
So when you were talking to Jeffrey before,
how did he sound?
Like a harmless, self-absorbed toolbox.
Seriously?
He sounded tormented.
Tormented how?
Like he's jealous that I'm here with someone
else?
Or like he regrets throwing away our life
together?
It's just that this doesn't really turn out
the way that I thought it would.
He seems more mature.
Run, you bastard!
Come on!
Come on, throw it!
Throw it!
Well played, darling.
Hey!
You ready, TJ?
Bugger off, Jeffrey.
All right, hey, batter, batter!
One cat.
Batter up.
You're up, Kat.
Be nice to me, Jeffrey.
Yes!
Hooah!
Hooah, hooah, hooah!
Who's the game?
Edward?
Oh, trust me, I am.
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