Original subtitles

(Ma) Larry!

Jimmy!

(Groans)

That's very good. Good.

- How much is it? - Two dollars.

There's one.

There's two.

Thank you.

- It's locked. - He's in there again.

Pa!

What are you doin' in there? Open up this door.

You better not be doin' what I think you're doin'!

Hey!

I told ya, I make that for peddling, not for you to drink.

Hey, you... you show some respect.

(Grunts)

Larry! Jimmy!

Y'all get over to the house. Supper's ready.

(Gunshot)

Why'd you hit him?

He was drinking my profits.

You can't be so ornery. People'll think you're crazy.

Nah. I'm just trying to make an honest buck.

(♪ Faron Young's "Hello Walls" playing)

♪ Hello, walls

♪ How'd things go for you today?

♪ Don't you miss her

♪ Since she upped and walked away?

♪ And I'll bet you dread to spend

♪ Another lonely night with me

♪ But, lonely walls, I'll keep you... ♪

- Hey, Larry. - Oh, I'll call you back, Mama.

Give a big, big hand to llanis from Ottawa, Tennessee.

(Scattered clapping)

Thank you, Jimmy.

You know, I don't know if you feel the way I do right now,

but we deliver the finest ladies in southern Ohio, don't you think?

Thank you.

And now, please give a warm, warm welcome to...

...Kimberly and Melissa.

They're all the way here from Paris and London, Kentucky.

(♪ Faron Young's "Country Girl" playing)

So, how are we doing?

Bad.

What do you mean, "bad"?

- I mean we're broke. - How can we be broke, Larry?

Well, you know, these giveaways are killing us.

The limousine... the smorgasbord was a stupid idea,

and then, all your-your buddies are coming in here every night

and drinking for free.

You don't have to bring my friends into this.

Oh! Hey, ladies.

- Hey, Larry, we're ready to go. - You put forth some hard work.

Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, llanis, I'll be by in about an hour and I'll bring the ping pong balls.

Hey, Leticia... I'll see you in two hours.

Hey, Leticia, I liked the way you blew that candle out tonight.

(Women giggle)

Hey, now there's the secret right there.

If we could just somehow let people know what great lays these girls are,

we'd have something.

Larry, you can't advertise that.

(Sighs) I know you can't, but... Jimmy.

Oh-oh, ooh. Mister, what kind of business is this?

Well, now, I run the... Hustler go-go clubs.

- I'm sure you've heard of 'em. - Mmm, no.

Yeah, well, see now, that's why I need a newsletter.

I figured we'd run maybe eight, ten pages per issue.

With nothing but nudie pictures?

Yeah, on this... this... nice smooth paper, like this.

- That's called slick. - Slick, yeah.

But I could get in trouble printing these.

- Why? - Because there are laws.

You gotta have some sort of text, like "Playboy" does.

(Protesters) God will punish the sinner!

God will punish the sinner! God will punish the sinner!

Thank you all for coming to my establishment,

and keep in mind, we welcome Christians in here, too.

Thank you.

(♪ Porter Wagoner's "A Satisfied Mind" playing)

♪ How many times have you heard someone say

♪ "If I had his money, I could do things my way"? ♪

- What do you think? - Well, how much did it cost?

Would you forget the money for one second?

What do you think?

Well, what I think depends on how much it cost.

Look, there it is, the first "Hustler" newsletter.

It's all for the man on the go, man about town.

Here it is, news service.

Larry, it's a magazine, not a newsletter.

How are you gonna pay for that?

Don't interrupt me when I'm talking, OK?

Alright, let's hear it for Camille. You were wonderful, Camille.

Let's welcome to the stage right now, gentlemen,

Calamity Jane, from Moscow, Texas.

Let's hear it for her.

(♪ The McCoys's "Hang On Sloppy" playing)

♪ Hang on, Sloopy, Sloopy, hang on

♪ Hang on, Sloopy, Sloopy, hang on

♪ Sloopy lives in a very bad part of town

♪ And everybody, yeah, tries to put my Sloopy down

♪ Sloopy, I don't care what your daddy do...

Who is that?

That's the new girl.

She's got the moves, don't she?

♪ And so I say now, hang on, Sloopy...

She ain't bad.

- She ain't legal either. - Oh, yes, she is legal. I saw her ID.

Look, you stupid brier-hopper, my dog could get an ID

from my goat.

Hey... listen.

When she gets done up there, send her on up to my office.

♪ Sloopy, let your hair down, girl

♪ Let it hang down on me ♪

What... what's your name?

Jane.

- Jane? - Mmm.

We have a policy in this club.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, oh, yeah.

OK. And?

Well, trouble is, I have a sneaking suspicion

that you're not, uh... of age.

(Althea laughs)

This, you know, this could cost me my liquor license.

I could have... I could have to close up shop and fire a lot of people.

I'll tell you something.

- Please. - Yeah, well, see this?

See that? That?

I am this far, one second, one millimeter,

one second from being legal.

So, I'm gonna have to ask you to come back

when you're... when that centimeter's up.

Well, that would be tomorrow morning then.

I like the way you dance. I mean, don't get me wrong.

(Althea scoffs) What's that?

Oh, just a little something I got from down home.

You're a classy guy. I've heard about you.

This is moonshine.

Is that what this is, moonshine, right?

It's OK. It's just from potatoes.

What's it gonna do to me?

Go ahead. It's fine, natural.

But step away from the desk, will you?

- (Larry chuckles) - That's like fire.

- Sorry I made a mess. - It's OK.

Um... can I ask you a question?

Shoot.

I've heard this story that... you've slept with every single girl

in every one of your clubs, sort of a pre-requisite.

I'm just wondering if that's true or not.

Well, you know, it ain't entirely untrue, if that's what you mean.

I'm just curious why you haven't taken a stab at me.

- I just met you five minutes ago. - (Althea laughs)

Oh, I think it was six.

Tick, tick, tick...

Tick, tick...

(Althea) Oh!

(Larry panting)

(Larry) Oh. Oh, jeez.

- Come on, one more time. - One more time?

Come on, Althea, even Superman has his limits.

That's the problem with you, you know, men.

You know? Your batteries run out.

Because we women, our batteries never run out.

We can go on and on and on.

Well, then, go fuck a woman.

(Althea chuckles) "Then go fuck a woman."

I do fuck women.

Excuse me?

You are not the only person in this club

to have had every single woman in this club.

So, after one night, she's moving in with ya?

Well, you know, this girl, she had it rough, grew up in an orphanage.

Hey. Hey, buddy. Hey!

Are you that guy in that little sex paper?

Could be.

I love the pictures. How do I subscribe?

Well, where'd you come upon the newsletter?

Oh, found it in a bathroom in a gas station.

Came in pretty handy.

Well, I'm glad we helped you out,

but, you know, it ain't for subscription.

- This guy's... - (TV) 'In game one...

Y'all want some chips? Chips?

Oh, look at her tits. They're nice.

They're nice tits, but they don't look real.

(Althea laughs)

I don't understand this magazine, you know...

- Look at her butt. - Fuzzy pictures, articles by...

I don't know what the hell they're talking about.

You guys read "Playboy"?

- Well, yeah. - Sure.

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

Did you... Excuse me, baby.

Did you enjoy this month's article

on how to hook up your quadraphonic stereo system?

- I think I missed that one. - Mm-hmm.

And did you follow their advice on how to make a perfect Martini?

Hey, Larry, come on, man, move Over.

Who is this magazine for anyway?

I mean, you know, if... it's like, if you don't make 20,000-plus a year,

you don't jerk off.

Seven million people buying it and nobody's reading it.

Gentlemen, "Playboy" is mocking you.

Yeah, give me a jelly donut, will you?

Yeah, I got your jelly.

How many pages do we have right now exactly?

We have 105.

- That's no good. - Why not?

106 is good, 104, that's good. 105...

What, you connected with these numbers?

No, it's gotta be an even number.

Because, like, a paper has got two sides, right?

That's two, it's multiples of two.

No, no, a page has four.

- Four. It's like four. - What do you mean, four?

It's one, two, three, four. You fold it, put the staple.

- It's not even an even number. - That's right.

We'll get it figured out. We'll ask... Larry.

What the hell's he doing?

Babe, let me see that flower in your left hand.

No, not that one. Your other left hand.

- Yeah, that's it. - What? Hey, hey, hey.

Look, you know, we're not running a flower shop here, OK?

We're selling the girl, so stop fussing around

with the props and the pillows and the flowers,

and just shoot the girl, OK?

OK, now, let's go for that leg thing here.

Let's recline a little? Yeah.

Let's see you open up 'em legs a little bit. That's right.

Now, give me a little wider than that. That's it.

Now, give me a little wider... a little wider.

Just another little touch wider.

No, baby, not quite that wide.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

No, that... get back to that. That's exactly what we want.

Here. OK, that's perfect.

Leave it right there. That's what you want.

A woman's vagina has as much personality as her face.

But you can't show the genitalia.

Why not?

Well... Larry, Rudy's right.

You can't show, legally, you can't show the vagina.

Hey, shut up, Jimmy. Rudy, are you a religious man?

- Yeah. - OK.

- You believe God created man? - Yeah.

God created woman.

Yeah...

Well, then surely the same God created her vagina,

and who are you to defy God? Just shoot her.

Jesus Christ.

Where is she?

♪ Althea ♪

Hey, baby. Hey!

Happy birthday, baby,

and I have a heart for my heart.

Oh, Larry, that's beautiful.

What's wrong?

The distributor called

and, unfortunately, we've had only a 25% sell-through.

Somebody wanna translate that for me?

Well, what that means

is that they're sending back 150,000 copies.

That's what it means.

Shit!

You're just a stupid, dumb brier-hopper.

What made you think you could pull this off anyway, Larry?

At least he has balls, Jimmy.

Yeah, well, what he needs is brains.

Oh, God, Einstein's speaking! I'm so impressed.

So, one more issue and we're wiped out.

Yeah.

Larry, you said yourself, it's not so bad to be poor.

Hey, fuck you, Althea. You go be poor, OK?

Fuck me?

I believe you're the one that got us into this debt in the first place.

Listen, you think just cos it's your birthday

that you can be a bitch?

Yeah, and I think I'm 50 feet tall and you have a needle dick, OK?

(Groans)

Don't ever hit me like that again.

Don't talk to me like that. Don't hit me like that again.

I'll go back. I'll go back and I'll eat dog food, OK?

I'll eat dog food.

You know, take this, because I don't own this anymore.

I don't have one. Throw it out in the street.

(Phone buzzes)

(Secretary) 'Mr. Flynt, we have a guy on the phone from Italy.

'He claims he has naked pictures of Jackie O.'

Put him through.

Yeah, hello? You the photographer?

- (Photographer) 'Right, yeah.' - What do you got?

- 'Is this Mr. Flynt?' - Yeah, this is Mr. Flynt.

'Listen, I was watching that damn island for four months

'and then one day, man, cabana door opens,

'and out comes Jackie O. with nothing on.

'I mean, not a single stitch.'

- You're sure it's Jackie O.? - 'Yeah, sure.'

And-and what do you see?

"You see absolutely everything.

"Trust me, and she's a good one.

"This ain't no Mamie Eisenhower or Lady Bird.'

Oh, my God. First pussy.

(TV) 'Everyone's talking about local-boy-done-good...'

Hey, hey! Shh! Arlo, move!

'...whose "Hustler" magazine has reached national sales figures

'of an astonishing two million copies.'

(Cheering)

- 'And in a stunning disclosure...' - Dan, sit down. Move your ass!

'...has learned that Ohio Governor Jim Rhodes himself

'was spotted at a newsstand

'buying a copy of the infamous Jackie O. issue.

'l spoke to the Governor earlier today...

- Move it! - '...and he had this response.'

'l think everybody knows that I've been a historical buff

'about First Ladies for a long time.

- (Laughter) - Shh!

'Are you saying you'd be interested in nude photos of Martha Washington?"

'She's a little bit before my time.'

- Arlo! - Arlo!

'What about nude photos of your wife?'

A teacher educates our children, and they become model citizens.

The clergyman preaches and we find spirituality.

My bank gives loans, and homes get built.

But now there's a new, darker influence in Cincinnati.

Mr. Leis, if you would?

(Clears throat)

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna ask that you review this material

very, very carefully,

because it's important that you know

that I did not buy these at a smut store.

These were not purchased at a... dirty book shop.

I bought this in a neighborhood grocery store

in full view of our children.

Oh, my gosh.

Ma'am, you cannot hide from this.

Decent people are being corrupted.

Why, just look what happened to our fine governor.

As members of the Citizens for Decent Literature,

we cannot relent.

We must prevent the destruction of the soul of our country.

(Crowd applauding)

- Larry... - Yeah?

- Take off your pants. - What?

- Take off your pants. - Why?

Because I've never fucked a millionaire before.

Look at that.

(♪ "Star-Spangled Banner" playing)

(Cheering)

Happy birthday, America.

This is Larry's house?

- (Larry) Ma! Pal - Must be it.

- My son! - Hey, you came.

It's so big!

Larry, who are all these people?

Uh... well, these are my friends, Ma.

Oh, you have so many friends.

Lots of money, lots of friends.

- Oh, look at you. - Hey, Arlo!

Hi.

Hey, you know how many rooms I have here?

- No. - No.

Twenty-four rooms. Do you know who else has 24 rooms?

- The president? - Hugh Hefner.

This is the best room in the house.

I think you're gonna like it.

This is the best room in the house, he said.

- (Woman panting) - (Larry) Oh!

You know, there's a maid still cleaning up in there.

Let me just say a word.

The maid's cleaning up in there.

Listen, my folks are here,

so just... move the girls into the jacuzzi,

and I'll get with you later.

- Your folks are here? - Oh...

(Whooping)

What in the world is that?

(8 KC And The Sunshine Band's "I'm Your Boogie Man" blaring)

- Hey. - Larry!

The party is just beginning.

She's nice... and she's frigid.

Have to see what we can do about that.

A-one, two...

(♪ "I'm Your Boogie Man" continues playing loudly)

- Larry? - Yeah?

Do you ever think about getting married?

Oh, God.

You know there's nothing more certain

to ruin a beautiful relationship than marriage.

As soon as you get that ring around the finger, OK,

suddenly, you have an ownership situation.

Prior to that, it's friendly.

You're kind to each other.

And I'll tell you somethin', as much as I love you,

I want a variety of different vagina, pussy.

- I'm a... - What did we just do?

That's what I'm talking about. Why are you bringing this up?

So, do you think I'm talking about monogamy?

Do you think that I'm talking about...

You're not talking about monogamy?

No, of course not.

Larry, how could you misunderstand me?

Well, see, I was wondering, because I thought...

I don't wanna get married and stop the way that we live.

The way that we live is great.

Nothing would change. My God.

Why? Why now?

Because I only wanna be with you.

You're the only man I wanna be with.

I want this ring on my finger

to tell me that you love me above all other women.

- You want a ceremony? - I wanna go to a church.

Yes. So, we'll pay the...

I wanna stand in front of a preacher.

Pay the preacher on the way in,

and we'll get a cash check to me from the lawyer on the way out.

You are my life.

You're my life.

- I'm here for... - You're my life, too.

- ...the rest of my life. - Right now, right here, my life.

I can't speak for 20 years down the line.

- I can. - You can?

- Yeah. - Let me say somethin', alright?

- Oh, man. - No, no, no.

- Just forget I brought it up. - Listen to what...

- Larry, just forget I brought it up. - Listen to what I'm saying.

Listen to what I'm saying, OK? Listen to what I'm saying.

Would you marry me?

It's not funny, a joke like that.

I'm not joking. Would you marry me?

Would you... would you do me the honor

of becoming Mrs. Larry Flynt?

You're not fucking with me? You mean it?

- No, I'm just kidding. - You are?

- No, I'm serious. I'm serious. - Don't.

(♪ The Czech Philharmonic Orchestra plays "Rusalka's Polonaise")

- Whoal - Whoa.

- She's got a dick. - She taped this on.

She taped this on. This is not real.

Who would wanna see that anyway?

I do. I think it's genius.

(Larry) Look, it-it don't matter.

It's just like when people slow down at a car crash

to take a peek, you know? We're breaking taboos.

I've got an idea. How about "The Wizard Of Oz"?

What do you mean?

OK, like, Dorothy is laying there, in Kansas,

and there's the Tin Man and the Scarecrow and, um...

- Who's the other one, Larry? - The Lion.

The Lion! And they're all gang-banging her,

and there's Toto, maybe, even.

Um... Althea, I think there's, you know, some things are sacred.

Shut up.

Althea, that is the best damn idea I ever heard.

(Miles) Yeah, it can work.

- Where can I find Larry Flynt? - (Althea) Work it out. What is it?

Yeah, the Tin Man could have a tin penis.

(Chester) No, no, he gotta have, like, a funnel.

You know, he's gotta have... And Toto, too.

Larry Claxton Flynt? Larry Claxton Flynt!

- Yeah. - Stand up, please, sir.

- Put your hands behind your back. - What's this all about?

You're under arrest on charges of pandering obscenity in Cincinnati

- and engaging in organized crime. - Organized crime?

Sit down, lady. You, too. Shut up.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney,

one will be appointed for you by the court.

Uh... Mr. Flynt?

You Larry Flynt?

- Who are you? - Alan Isaacman.

I'm your lawyer. OK, I've gotten the bail all taken care of,

so you don't have to worry about that,

but I think we oughta talk about the case

- when you've had a little rest. - Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Who hired you?

Your wife hired me.

- My wife? - Yeah.

Are you doing her?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Am I... am I what?

Nah, I'm just kiddin'. I like you.

Give me a call after you get out of law school.

Oh, no, I'm out of law school.

- What are you, 22? - Twenty-seven.

Harvard Law School. Three years in the Public Defender's office.

OK, look, Mr. Flynt, obviously, you can get whoever you want

to represent you in this case,

but at least let me say one thing to you, OK?

How should I... You're pretty far out there,

even for the guys who do a lot of this stuff, OK?

I am interested in your case.

The problem you've got is very definitely what I know best,

and I am good at what I do.

What, do you specialize in porn?

No, no, no. I don't... I don't specialize in porn.

I'll... I'll be perfectly honest.

I don't particularly like what you do.

I specialize in civil liberties.

You know, I don't understand why they've singled me out.

(Alan) OK, look, Mr. Flynt, this case is bigger

than just you and your magazine.

In your case, what's a little more troubling

is this organized crime charge.

Organized crime? Larry's not in the mob.

Mr. Flynt, I just gotta ask you one time,

do you have any connections In any way to organized crime?

Absolutely not.

Gotta ask.

Oh, by the way... call me Larry.

Alright, Larry.

In that case, Larry, this is a completely bullshit charge,

but we have to take this seriously

because you could conceivably be looking at seven to 25 years.

Twenty-five years?

All I'm guilty of is bad taste.

My cousin, Bobby, shot a preacher in the back.

He got six months for it.

- It's ridic... - (Larry) Bobby shot a preacher?

- Yeah, you didn't know that? - What denomination?

Baptist.

Can we discuss the fate of Cousin Bobby later, Larry?

l... I think we need to discuss this very seriously.

- If you want my advice... - I am serious. I'm taking notes here.

(Protesters shouting indistinctly)

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Before we begin,

I must apologize for the unpleasantness of this task.

What you're about to see Is going to take your breath away.

"Hustler" magazine depicts men and women

posed together in a lewd and shameful manner.

"Hustler" depicts women and women posed together

in a lewd and shameful manner.

"Hustler" magazine depicts Santa Claus

posed in a lewd and shameful manner.

What's he talking about?

(Whispers indistinctly)

Jesus Christ, Larry.

Your Honor, with the court's permission,

at this time the defense would like to introduce into evidence

twenty-seven other men's magazines sold in the Cincinnati area.

Titles such as "Penthouse", "Playboy"...

Objection.

Sustained.

Sustained?

Wait... wait a second. Wait a second.

Your Honor, if I may.

These magazines contain material

that is virtually identical to "Hustler" magazine.

If-if these magazines are legal and "Hustler" is not legal,

then this is clearly a case of selective prosecution.

No.

I-I'm sorry. Did you say "no"?

I will not allow them into evidence.

They are irrelevant to this case.

But they are not irrelevant. They are not irrelevant.

They very clearly demonstrate the community standard

- which is laid out by... - No, Counselor,

the jury is representative of community standards,

not a pile of magazines.

I won't admit them.

You won't admit them.

Mr. Flynt, would you please turn to page 777?

Would you describe to the jury what is on page 77, please, sir?

(Clears throat) Uh... it's a picture of Santa Claus.

What is Santa Claus doing?

He's talking to Mrs. Claus and... holding in his hand

what appears to be a large erect penis.

And would you read the caption under that cartoon, please?

It says, "This is what I've got to ho-ho-ho about."

Mr. Flynt, do you think that the Founding Fathers

had a cartoon like this in mind

when they wrote the First Amendment to our great Constitution?

Well, no, but I don't think they necessarily had "Playboy" in mind,

or "People" either, for that matter,

because I saw a couple of four-letter words in there

a few weeks back.

But isn't a community allowed to set its own standards?

No. That's just a disguise for censorship.

This country belongs to me

as much as it belongs to you, Mr. Leis,

and if you don't like "Hustler" magazine, don't read it.

I don't, but what about the innocent children

who gaze upon your magazine In our grocery stores?

Well, look...

...you know, if a kid gets caught drinking beer in a tavern,

we don't ban Budweiser across the nation.

(Crowd murmurs)

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you've heard a lot here today,

and I'm not gonna try to go back over it all again for you,

but you have to go back in that room and make some decisions,

and... and there is one thing I wanna make very, very clear to you

before you do.

I am not trying to convince you

that you should like what Larry Flynt does.

I-I don't like what Larry Flynt does...

...but what I do like is that I live in a country

where you and I can make that decision for ourselves.

I like that I live in a country

where I can pick up "Hustler" magazine and read it if I want to,

or throw it in the garbage can, if that's where I think it belongs.

Or better yet, I can exercise my opinion and not buy it.

I like that I have that right. I care about it...

...and you should care about it, too.

You really should,

because we live in a free country.

You know, we say that a lot,

but I think sometimes we forget really what that means.

So, listen to it again.

We live in a free country, and that is a powerful idea.

That's a... that's a magnificent way to live,

but there is a price for that freedom,

which is that sometimes we have to tolerate things

that we don't necessarily like.

So, go back in that room

where you are free to think whatever you wanna think

about Larry Flynt and "Hustler" magazine,

but then ask yourselves

if you wanna make the decision for the rest of us,

because the freedom that everyone in this room enjoys

Is in a very real way in your hands.

And if we start throwing up walls

against what some of us think is obscene,

we may very well wake up one morning

and realize that walls have been thrown up

in all kinds of places that we never expected,

and we can't see anything or do anything.

And that's not freedom.

That is not freedom.

So, be careful.

Thank you.

(Crowd murmuring)

(Gavel bangs)

Madam Foreman, have you reached a verdict?

Yes, Your Honor, we have.

Hand the verdict to the bailiff.

Will the defendant please rise?

Madam Clerk, read the verdict.

"We, the jury, find the defendant, Larry Claxton Flynt,

"guilty as charged on all counts."

(Crowd murmuring)

Do you have anything to say before I sentence you?

Your Honor, you have not made one intelligent decision

during the course of this trial, and I don't expect one now.

Knock yourself out.

I sentence you to 25 years

- in the Ohio State Penitentiary. - What?

- Your Honor, we request bail... - Bail denied.

- Denied? - Bailiff, take him away.

Your Honor, this is a completely standard procedure.

All I do is publish a magazine.

Mrs. Flynt! Mrs. Flynt, Mrs. Flynt, were you surprised at the verdict?

What are you gonna do about Larry?

No. I was not surprised by the verdict at all.

We had a stupid judge, we had an uptight prosecutor,

two of them.

Mrs. Flynt, are you ashamed to have your husband locked up?

I am not ashamed of Larry. I never would be ashamed of Larry.

I'd rather have a man that stands up for what he believes in.

Of course, I'm... I'm not happy he's going to jail,

but you know what? You guys can call this a circus,

you can call this a witch hunt, but you can't...

Hi, baby.

You are so beautiful.

Larry...

How are you?

I miss you.

I've missed you, too.

You got any girlfriends in here?

You've got calluses on your hands?

You know it.

I fantasize about you just about all the time.

(Sighs) Our bed is so empty.

Oh, baby.

Oh, baby.

Oh, God.

Oh, baby.

What can I do to get you outta here?

Oh, you know, Isaacman says

there's no way this is gonna hold up.

What if Alan's wrong?

What if... what if you don't get out till the year 2000,

and I'm fat and old and ugly and you don't love me anymore?

You ain't never gonna be old and fat and ugly.

I promise you.

- I love you. - I love you.

(♪ "Battle Hymn Of The Republic" playing)

(Rally singer) J Glory, glory, hallelujah

♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah

♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah

♪ His truth is marching on

♪ His truth is marching on ♪

Please, please, please, please, please.

And now, Americans for a Free Press

take extreme pleasure in welcoming to Cincinnati,

direct from jail, cleared 100% by the Appellate Court...

This is really great.

Americans for a Free Press to invite us here tonight.

- (Announcer) ...dissident publisher... - You idiot.

Americans for a Free Press iS me.

Who do you think is paying for all this?

That freedom fighter, Larry C. Flynt.

Thank you.

Thank you. I have a thought for you.

Murder is illegal, but you take a picture

of somebody committing the act of murder

they'll put you on the cover of "Newsweek".

You might even win a Pulitzer Prize.

And yet, sex is legal.

Everybody's doing it, or everybody wants to be doing it, huh?

Yet, you take a picture of two people in the act of sex,

or just take a picture of a woman's naked body...

...and they'll put you in jail.

Now, I have a message for all you good, moral Christian people,

who are complaining that breasts and vaginas are obscene.

Hey, don't complain to me. Complain to the manufacturer, OK?

And although Jesus told us not to judge,

I know you're gonna judge anyway, so judge sanely.

Judge with your eyes open.

What do you consider obscene? Is this obscene to you?

Or perhaps that's obscene to you.

Maybe this is obscene to you,

but what is more obscene?

This... or this?

This... or this?

You know, politicians and demagogues like to say

that sexually explicit material corrupts the youth of our country,

and yet they lie, cheat, and start unholy wars.

Look at 'em. They call themselves men.

They're sheep in a herd.

I think they real obscenity comes from raising our youth

to believe that sex is bad and ugly and dirty,

and yet, it is heroic to go spill guts and blood

in the most ghastly manner in the name of humanity.

With all the taboos attached to sex,

it's no wonder we have the problems we have.

It's no wonder we're angry and violent and genocidal,

but ask yourself the question,

what is more obscene, sex or war?

(Crowd) War!

(Crowd applauds and cheers)

(Barking)

(♪ Gary Wright's "Dream Weaver" playing)

Jeez, she's a killer.

♪ I believe we can reach the morning light

♪ Fly me high through the starry skies...

- Larry... - Yeah?

Um... hi, Althea.

Hi, Arlo.

Arlo, you wanted somethin'?

Yes... I've got bad news.

A... a Georgia prosecutor has arrested some news dealers

for selling "Hustler",

and... some other retailers are getting nervous

and they're taking issues off the stands.

- Fuel the jet. - OK.

Wait. Alert the Georgia media.

Tell them the cavalry is on the way.

♪ I believe we can reach the morning light ♪

- (Reporter #1) Mr. Flynt? - (Reporter #2) Mr. Flynt.

Larry, why are you here?

Good, hard-working newsvendors are being threatened and intimidated.

Now, if that's not censorship, I don't know what is.

- (Reporter #3) So, what's your plan? - (Larry) Well, just watch me.

Come on, right on in here. You OK, babe?

- I'm fine. - Stand right over there.

Alright. Don't crowd.

Let the cameras through, OK? You rollin'?

Now, what we're gonna do here is...

...I'm gonna pay this gentleman 1,000 dollars.

I am renting the Puff and Read for the next 24 hours.

I am in control now.

And... anybody who would like to purchase

a copy of "Hustler" magazine...

Mr. Flynt, could I please buy a copy of the "Hustler" magazine?

Yes, you can, Sir. Here is the "Hustler" magazine

- that I am selling this month... - Larry Flynt, you're under arrest.

OK. I gotta give him some change.

Only in America, huh?

Mr. Flynt, how far are you willing to go for "Hustler" magazine?

What are your plans now, Mr. Flynt?

There are many people who support "Hustler" magazine,

but none are willing to come out and support you.

How do you feel about that, Mr. Flynt?

Hey, why do I have to go to jail to protect your freedom?

That's good.

So, we're gonna pay a million bucks?

Why not? Listen.

If it catches the Killer, I think it's worth it.

OK, moving on.

Asshole of the month.

Jerry Falwell.

You always say Jerry Falwell.

Jerry Falwell is always an asshole. That's why, Arlo.

How about this month we do Anita Bryant?

I say... Gerald Ford.

I say Larry Flynt.

Yeah, I like that, bro.

I mean, everybody thinks I'm an asshole.

Yeah, it's true.

Is that right?

- Larry, you have a phone call. - Take a message.

How about asshole of the decade?

Um... she's calling from North Carolina.

She says she's the president's sister,

Ruth Carter something.

Ruth Carter Stapleton?

She's a woman of God.

What does she want with you?

What are you afraid of? Pick up the phone.

OK. Patch her through.

Hello, this is Larry Flynt.

(Ruth) "Praise the Lord! I've found you.'

Hallelujah. What-what... what can I help you with?

'We have a mutual friend, Larry, a television producer,

'and he suggested we get together.

'He thought you and I would hit it off."

You know, I don't understand, I mean, you're an evan... evangelist,

and I'm a smut peddler, well...

'Larry, I don't believe in labels.

'l think you and I could teach each other a lot.'

(Whispers) Stop.

'So, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?'

Uh... you know, I have a... I have a hectic schedule.

"You know what's nice about people like you and me, Mr. Flynt?'

- What's that? - 'We can do anything we want."

(Laughs)

Do you go to church, Larry?

Yeah... church.

Particularly the... you know, the big holidays,

Christmas and... Easter, and New Year's Eve.

New Year's Eve?

- Oh, that... - (Ruth chuckles)

They don't have church on New Year's Eve.

OK, well, we've proven I'm a liar, and... I never go.

It's not important.

That's only a ritual.

And I believe in going straight to the teachings of Jesus.

And does she love that man.

So, would you call yourself a... faith-healer?

Oh, goodness, no.

I do spiritual healing.

Oh.

I don't mend bones. I mend troubled souls.

Well, that's a relief, because, you know, I thought you might be,

like, one of those tent revival fakes,

you know, that used to come scare the kids with snakes

and you know, wicked this, wicked that, and...

Hellfire. Damnation. That sort of thing?

Yeah.

That kind of talk is almost unforgivable.

Well, then, I'd say we have something in common.

Actually, Larry, there's something else

you and I have in common.

What's that?

We're both trying to release people from... sexual repression.

- Really? - (Althea cackles)

I'm sorry, Mrs. Stapleton.

So, tell me... is your brother, Ji... Mr. President...

Jimmy. Jimmy will be fine.

OK, Jimmy, uh...

Did he... do you think he ever read my publication?

You remember that interview he gave... "Playboy" magazine?

The one where he admitted that he had lust in his heart?

You know, I was especially proud of that.

I'm sure you were,

but Oral Roberts wasn't and Billy Graham wasn't,

and they took out after him in public,

so, I don't think he's a big fan of adult magazines.

Hmm.

But you know, Larry,

I'm more ambivalent about what you do

because I think that sexuality is a God-given gift.

I have to agree with you.

You know, when I counsel Pentecostal women

in bad marriages, I don't take the Bible out.

I say to them, "Get some make up. Get yourself some curlers.

"Make yourself beautiful.

"Because Jesus wants you to be beautiful."

Yeah, well, that... You're something.

You... surprise me.

Larry, what was your childhood like?

You know, sometimes things happen to us

when we're very young

that can hurt for many years after.

You know, I think we're all born into this world...

(Dialogue drowned by airplane landing)

Why? Why?

Because I had an epiphany, OK?

- A-a what? - An epiphany.

Where'd you learn that damn word?

This woman crooking you so hard

she's teaching you, what, English now?

She ain't crooking me, OK?

I think it was more an acid flashback.

- I think it's an acid flashback... - Don't belittle it like that.

It was a serious thing.

Do you think that I wanted Jesus to tap me on the shoulder?

I'm the last guy who wanted that. I'm getting laid six times a day.

I got... limousines and a jet,

and I'm sitting on a mountain of money.

You think I wanted God tapping me on the shoulder?

I'm the last guy who wanted that.

I had an epiphany.

- I had an epiphany once, Larry. - What was that?

When my daddy shot my entire family in the head,

and I was the only one to identify the bodies,

and I got sent to an orphanage full of good Christian nuns

who shoved my face into their pussies

with their crucifixes on for eight goddamn years!

I am genuinely sorry for you, baby, but that does not mean

- that God does not exist. - Don't be sorry for me!

Be sorry for yourself,

because you'll need that for the pawn shop.

Don't start throwing that fucking ring at me, OK?

We're gonna be so damn broke, you're gonna need that.

Hey!

Come on. It's OK.

Just get behind me on this, OK?

That's all I'm asking.

You know, I feel like it's me against the world.

You're all I got, baby.

Say you ain't gonna do this. Promise me you ain't gonna do it.

- I'm doing it! - No, Larry, you ain't gonna do it.

I'm doing it!

Oh, now I'm baptized too, is that it?

Fuck you, Larry. Fuck you.

(¢ Singing "My Soul Doth Magnify The Lord")

♪ Lord

♪ My soul...

Hi. How you doing?

♪ Doth magnify the Lord

♪ For he has done so many...

Do you accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior

and reject Satan and all his works?

(Larry) I do.

In obedience to the will of God

and upon the confession of this our brother,

we baptize you in the name of the Father,

and in the name of the Son,

and in the name of the Holy Spirit.

♪ Doth magnify the Lord

♪ Hallelujah...

Hallelujah.

♪ Hallelujah ♪

There will be no more... photo spreads of women alone.

From now on, sex will be presented in a more natural setting,

with-with the man in the picture,

you know... the Genesis pictorial, with... Adam and Eve

getting it on in the Garden of Eden,

and then next month, I'd like to have...

pretty girls all floating on big glass crucifixes, yeah.

Marjoe Gortner could shoot that.

Larry, I-l plead with you not to do this.

If you do this, this company is gonna be worth nothing.

You're all looking at me like I'm the one

growing horns out of my head. Look around you.

We are living in Roman times.

Itis, itis, itis...

It is time to feed the lions to the Christians.

This is a joke.

You're just doing this to... help our circulation.

Arlo...

I love you, brother,

but please don't ever, ever, ever doubt my sincerity.

(♪ Choir singing religious hymn)

(Congregation joins in singing)

(Eggs smashing against window)

(Althea) This is making people sick.

They're going up to the newsstands, and they're puking.

They're vomiting.

You know, baby, I-I'm just trying to illustrate

that I am no longer willing to... exploit the female body.

(Scoffs) Well, you failed miserably at that.

Larry, nobody on this planet

wants their religion and their porn mixed together.

Well, you know, Ruth says that sex...

Well, why don't you get your friend, Ruth,

to buy two fucking million of these magazines,

because nobody else Is gonna fucking do it?

Larry, I'm not gonna pretend that I understand what you go through,

what this spiritual thing is to you.

I never have, but I've always been supportive, always,

and, honey, you're just taking this too far, now.

It's going too far. It's like you're losing your mind.

Hey! My mind is fine.

God is working through me. Don't you see that?

I could... I could accomplish anything.

I could move mountains with God's help.

You see that wall right there?

I could make that wall come tumbling down

with sheer will power.

God, do it. Just do it then. Do it.

- Do it? - Yeah.

(Phone ringing)

He's... he's gonna be thrilled about this, really.

Hey, Larry. Yeah, it's Alan.

Listen, I'm sitting here with the eminently reasonable

District Attorney of the State of Georgia.

Right. He's very impressed by your conversion.

He wants to cut us a plea bargain.

A plea bargain... because I found God?

Larry, listen to me for a second.

Don't argue with me on this, OK?

Just say yes, because I pulled a lot of strings to make this happen.

- Do you understand me? - Is he sitting right there with you?

- Yeah. - Could you do me a favor?

Just tell that miserable, old, gray-haired bastard

to go fuck himself. We're going to trial.

OK, right.

Oh, and praise the Lord.

Right. I got... OK.

(Awkward chuckle)

(Clerk) The Gwinnett County Court IS NOW in session.

Mr. Flynt, how can you,

as a good Christian, defend this filth?

I don't have to.

It may be wrong in some people's opinion to... portray women

in the way I have, but it's not illegal.

It may not be the smartest thing in the world

to have too much to drink, but it's not illegal.

You know, abortion may be morally repugnant,

but right now, it's not illegal.

Now, if we wanna change the laws, that's another discussion,

but our right to decide for ourselves cannot be restricted.

You know, George Orwell said that if liberty means anything,

it means the right to tell people what they don't wanna hear.

Now, America is the strongest country in the world today,

only because it is the freest country,

and if it ever loses sight

of its basic heritage and the principles involved,

then we will no longer be free.

(Reporter #1) Larry, over here.

That was just a bang-up job you did.

Larry, did you pray before you went into the courtroom?

No comment. No comment.

Is your wife jealous of Ruth?

(Reporter #2) Is that true, Larry?

(Gunshot)

(Groans)

This is Jackson. We got shots fired in front of the courthouse.

Somebody help.

Back up and ambulance right away.

(Sirens wailing)

Stand back. Stand back. Ma'am, stand back.

It's gonna be alright.

It hurts!

Got a 36-year-old male, gunshot wound to... the left shoulder.

Patient doesn't appear to have any moving sensation.

I want him alive. I don't care if his head's in a fishbowl, alright?

Mrs. Flynt... Mrs. Flynt, now, you listen to me.

There's something you have to know before you go in that room.

Hey.

Oh...

Larry, they... they say that you're paralyzed.

They... they say you're paralyzed from the waist down.

They say that you ain't gonna walk... walk again.

From the waist down?

I fucking love you.

(Knocking on door)

I'm so sorry, Althea.

Larry...

My dearest, how are you?

(Larry) Oh, the pain, it's...

I feel like I'm in hell.

No. No, you're not in hell.

You belong to God.

I wish he'd have killed me. I do.

I can't ever walk again.

I can't make love to my wife.

I can't...

I can't have a child with her.

But don't give in to the bitterness.

You'll be so much stronger if you keep your faith.

God will see you through this.

Ruth... there is no God.

Take this thing down.

I want all this Christian stuff outta here now.

Ladies, gentlemen, the reign of Christian terror

at this magazine IS NOW over.

We're smut peddlers again. We're going back to our roots.

We are" porn again"

When's Larry coming back?

(Althea) Larry's coming back soon.

So... what do we know?

The FBI ain't got nothing. That's what we know.

Who the hell would wanna shoot you, anyway, Larry?

Who wouldn't wanna shoot me, Jimmy?

- I'd say it was the CIA. - Why?

Because of the million dollars that was offered for JFK's killers.

No. I... I think it was the interracial photo spreads. The KKK.

KKK? Wasn't the KKK. It was the mob.

The extreme religious right.

They're the ones that control all of the fanatics.

Well, you've just named every American psycho,

so let's try to narrow the field here a little bit.

- Larry... - Yeah?

You are always, always gonna have to watch your ass... forever.

I oughta move somewhere where perverts are welcome.

(♪ The Czech Philharmonic Orchestra plays "Rusalka's Polonaise")

(Larry) Where you going, baby?

I'm gonna get some ice cream. You want some?

I want some more.

Larry, I just gave you twice your dose.

Please, please, please.

Larry, you're gonna overdose.

I'm not gonna overdose. I'm in pain.

Larry, you're just doing this to get off.

More!

I'm only giving you half of what I just gave you.

Don't ask for any more for a while.

Tight.

OK.

OK, let go. Let go.

Oh...

You alright?

I love you, baby.

(Sighs)

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Hi, Dr. Bob.

Hello, Althea. How's Larry today?

Shitty.

Pretty shitty.

How are you today, Larry?

Terrible. I'm in pain.

(Althea) He can hardly talk.

(Dr. Bob) You know, Larry, we're running out of options, here.

The drugs, your pain, it's gonna Kill you.

Something stronger.

This is... 30 grand.

Can we just have our medicine please, Dr. Bob?

In peace?

(Dr. Bob) You know, Larry, there is an operation

and apparently it's been very successful for this kind of pain.

(Doctor #1) Ready for the laser.

(Doctor #2) Laser ready. Five watts.

OK, let's go.

Mmm.

(Larry chuckles)

Hey, baby.

- Hi, cutie. - What's that?

Oh, some lady died down the hall, and I got her flowers.

- How do you feel? - I feel good.

- You feel good? - Yeah, I feel... I feel great.

You know, I...

For the first time since those bullets, I don't feel any pain.

No, I don't want it, baby.

- What do you mean? - I don't want it.

What do you... what?

I feel good.

And you're not on nothing?

You're crooking me, or you're a fucking liar.

You've been on drugs for... four or five years, Larry.

I have a hard time believing

that you feel really great on nothing right now.

Is it that hard to believe that I don't want any?

Yes, it's that hard to believe.

Baby, I was taking the drugs, because I was in pain.

I'm not in pain now, so I don't want it.

Why would I want it?

- I don't know. - I don't know why you want it.

Well, if I don't take it, I'll... go into seizures,

and... get really sick, and it makes me feel good.

- Here. - I don't want it.

In two hours, you're gonna want it again.

I'm done with it. I'm done with it, OK?

You've said this before. I've heard this before.

- Stop it. - That's what it is.

That's cos you're fucking on...

Here, take this. Take all... Come on, Larry.

- Stop. Stop it. - Get the hell away from me.

- Stop it... - I said I don't want it.

Stop it. You're gonna hurt yourself. Stop it, please. Stop it, stop it, stop it.

I don't know.

We've been through a lot together. We can make it through this.

Hm?

You gonna go cold turkey?

I'm going cold turkey, and so are you, OK?

- No. - Yes.

- OK. - OK?

- OK. - OK.

No. I can't, Larry.

(Crying)

What am I gonna do?

What the hell do I need that shit for?

I want my mind back.

(♪ The Czech Philharmonic Orchestra plays "Dalibor's Fanfare And March")

Yes, Ms. Bacardi, hi.

(Elevator dings)

The pervert is back.

- What's your name? - Sophie.

Tell everybody the pervert is back.

(Sophie) The... the pervert is back.

The pervert is back. The pervert is back.

Circulation is down by a third.

Color reproduction is horrible.

The models look like they're three-dollar whores.

The writing is by some moronic idiots.

Uh... Mr. Flynt...

...I don't wanna step on your toes, but things have changed

since you were actively running the company.

I mean, I look back at the stuff you did in the '70s,

and it was... sort of racy and crazy, but the country's different now.

Reagan has rebuilt America,

and the Moral Majority IS gaining power.

- You're fired. - Excuse me?

You, get the fuck out of my building.

Doug, get him outta here.

Get that blow-dried jerk motherfucker...

Take him outta here, throw him in the incinerator.

Cut him into little pieces and feed him to the animals out there.

- Larry... - Get outta here!

Lar... Larry, Larry, you can't do that.

I mean, he's our vice president.

He's the VP of marketing.

Hey, Jimbo, are you trying to challenge my authority?

You see that on the wall? LFP.

That's Larry Flynt Publications.

Not JFP. OK?

I'm the big kahuna here. Do you have a problem with that?

No, Larry, you're the boss.

So... Larry, what's the plan?

Plan... The plan is simple.

The establishment took my manhood from me,

but they left half of me. They left the half with the brain,

and I'm gonna use it to get back.

(Phone ringing)

- Hello. - (Larry) 'Wake up.'

- Who is this? - 'It's Larry Flynt.

'Is CBS interested in seeing videotape of the FBI

'selling John DeLorean 50 kilos of cocaine?'

- Are you Mr. Waverly? - Yeah, yeah. Who are you?

I'm Mrs. Flynt.

Do you want some...coffee or tea or sandwiches

or Ho Hos or Pringles or something?

No, no, that's alright.

Look, can I just see the tape, please?

Ooh, ooh.

- John DeLorean. - It's Delorean.

These are the drug dealers, and guess what this is.

That's the coke? That suitcase? That whole suitcase?

Yeah, watch this.

Delorean, he... The first time he touch it. That's it.

That's all the contact he had with that cocaine.

This is my favorite part, because they can't get this damn...

They can't get the suitcase closed, right?

There's a lot of cocaine in this motherfucker.

How do you get the damn thing closed?

- They're all pushing down on it. - This is amazing.

Now, they do a toast.

Now, watch this. This is weird.

There's a knock at the door.

Tubby gets up and goes to the door. Look.

Four million dollars' worth of cocaine, nobody's even nervous.

Now watch.

FBI. FBI, right?

This guy's got a good camera sense. Watch him clear camera. Watch him.

Yeah, let me get outta your way. Now, watch this guy.

Grabs his champagne, and he walks away.

These guys aren't concerned about him,

because they're FBI.

Your Honor, the tapes are genuine, they're newsworthy,

and we have a right to broadcast them.

That's ridiculous. This is stolen government evidence.

This leak will make a fair trial impossible.

My client, Mr. DeLorean, will never find an impartial jury.

I'd say we're talking basic constitutional rights here...

Judge, you do not condone...

(Counselors talk over each over)

Gentlemen, gentlemen, please.

(Overlapping arguments continue)

Gentlemen, that's enough.

It's stolen, Judge. It's stolen.

Here is the Campari ad campaign parody.

Jerry Falwell talks about his first time.

(Phone ringing)

- Yeah. - You guys are stupid.

You ever have anything positive to say, Jimmy?

- Larry. - Yeah.

Listen, I got a subpoena here

for you to appear in Federal Court tomorrow

to reveal the source of the Delorean tape.

The FBI got very pissed off, Larry, you know?

They want you in front of the judge tomorrow to reveal the source.

Well, you tell that judge I'm wiping my ass with his subpoena.

Why is your client doing this?

Your Honor, my client Is a very complicated man.

He... he's heavily medicated, among other things.

I believe him to be an undiagnosed manic depressive.

Well, I'll give him something to be depressed about, alright.

I'm issuing a bench warrant for his arrest.

(Sirens wailing)

(Helicopters whirring)

Come on.

(TV) 'A warrant for the arrest of Mr. Flynt.

(Larry laughing)

'...high-ranking government officials...'

"If anyone tries coming after me, I'll shoot him between the eyes."

'Flynt has been barricaded in his Beverly Hills compound

'for three days now.'

Holy shit.

Freeze! Federal Marshals.

You, drop the gun, now!

Hands in front. Hands. You, hands on your head, now.

On your knees.

NBC, ABC.

What the hell's wrong with you, CBS?

Larry Flynt, we're Federal Marshals. You come outta there.

Shut up!

Where are your fucking priorities?

Yeah! (Laughs)

I turned the whole world into a tabloid.

Here I come.

Larry, are you going somewhere?

Yep.

(Althea) Larry...

Roll on outta there, Flynt. Now!

Will you get me some bananas?

Yes, I'll get you bananas.

Thank you, honey.

Please raise your right hand and place your left hand on the Bible.

Lar...

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth so help you God?

No.

No?

Your Honor, I'm an atheist.

I can't very well... swear to a God I don't believe exists.

Mr. Flynt, you are a handful.

I know, Your Honor.

We'll allow you to affirm, if that's satisfactory with you, sir.

That would satisfy me.

Well, sir, I just need for you to answer one question,

and then you're able to go back home.

Shoot.

What was the source of this videotape?

Your Honor, Vicki Morgan was Alfred Bloomingdale's mistress...

- Excuse me, Your Honor. - (Larry) Excuse me.

It's OK, Alan. It's OK.

And Alfred introduced her to all Reagan's cabinet buddies,

and she was a real party-girl, and they really liked her.

If you... if you know what I mean, Your Honor.

So... the thing about Vicki is she was a bit naive,

and... she started writing a book

about all these... you know, orgies that they were having,

and... next thing you know, bam! She's murdered.

But what these White House killers don't realize

is that Vicki kept some videotapes of their sexcapades,

and these tapes, Your Honor, are pure carnality.

Filthy. I've never seen anything...

Well, I-1 have, but most people haven't seen anything like this.

Your Honor...

What has this got to do with the Delorean trial?

That's a good question.

Well... technically, nothing, Your Honor.

But, you know, I-I have those tapes and this tape,

and it just made me think of it.

Well, Mr. Flynt, I'd appreciate it, sir, if you would stick to the subject.

Now, I'll ask you again.

What was the source of this videotape?

Your Honor, with all due respect, you don't have the right to ask.

That's it. You're in contempt of court,

and as of tomorrow, I'm fining you 10,000 dollars a day

until you reveal the source of your videotape.

(Honking)

Look, here's Larry.

There he is.

- Mr. Flynt... - Alright, folks, make way.

Let us through here. Let us through.

- Mr. Flynt, is this a conspiracy? - (Larry barking)

♪ Oh, say, can you see

♪ By the dawn's early light... ♪

Larry, what have you done with the Vicki Morgan tapes?

Do we get to see... Oh!

Ow.

Do we really have the Vicki Morgan sex tapes?

No. I just told them I had the Delorean tapes.

Now, they believe anything I say.

Sir, you're gonna have to take that helmet off.

We don't wear hats in the Federal Courtroom,

and there's no war going on around here.

Well, you can never be too careful, Your Honor.

Well, don't worry, Mr. Flynt,

the United States government will take care of you.

We brought some extra marshals in here today.

So, I'd appreciate your taking off that helmet.

Well, sir, tell me, are you here now to obey the court's order

and reveal the source of that videotape,

Or are you gonna pay the 10,000 dollars that I ordered?

Your Honor, I'd like a moment with my client.

No. I don't need a moment.

It is my right under the freedom of the First Amendment

to protect my sources.

Listen, listen, listen to me. Don't go any further.

- (Larry) Hey... - (Alan) Just let me talk.

Shut up! Relax, Alan, relax.

Mr. Flynt, is that an American flag you have on there?

Sir, I have fashioned this American flag into a diaper,

because if you're gonna treat me like a baby,

I'm gonna act like one.

Larry Flynt, I'm ordering you arrested for desecration of the American flag.

Marshal, take him into custody.

Your Honor, we'd like to post bond, if that's alright with you.

- (Larry) Get the hell away from me. - (Alan) Hey, hold on. Take it easy.

Alright, just a minute, Marshal. Very well, Mr. Isaacman.

The court will set a bond on Mr. Larry Flynt for 50,000 dollars.

And this time, sir, I'd prefer a cashier's check.

Understood. Understood.

Furthermore, I'm gonna keep our Mr. Flynt here

under a very tight leash,

and so, as a condition of his bond,

he absolutely cannot leave the state of California.

Larry! Hey, Larry.

Hey, hey, Larry, you're not getting on that plane.

- Yes, I am. - No, you're not. Don't do it.

Do you think this is some kind of a game we're playing here?

Yeah, you're right, you're right. It's a fucking joke.

Five and a half years since-since they... they shot me, and now...

Hey, I was there too, alright? You remember?

You don't see me running around,

pissing off everybody we're trying to get to help us.

Yeah, well, you can walk, and you can fuck,

and I'm in this chair... and I got money, OK?

I got money, and that gives me the power to shake up this system.

Dougie.

Well, find somebody else to help you then,

because this is not what I signed on for.

I don't even know what we're engaged in anymore, Larry.

If you get on that plane, I quit.

Alan, don't be so melodramatic.

You don't wanna quit me. I'm your... your dream client.

I'm the most fun, I'm rich, and I'm always in trouble.

Hey, go to hell, Larry. Go to hell.

Bye.

(Judge) Exactly why did you disobey this court's order?

Didn't I make it clear to you

that you were not to leave the state of California?

Your Honor, we had an honest misunderstanding here, I think.

No, no, Counselor, Counselor, he's right.

Some rules are made to help us, not hurt us,

and I... I do apologize, Your Honor,

and... (Sighs) I wanna fess up and reveal my source.

Now, tell me who was the source of this videotape?

(Clears throat)

- The samurai. - Excuse me?

The samurai gave me the tape.

And who is this man, and where is he?

Well, unfortunately, he had a critical groin injury

on the way... to give me the tape,

and he's undergoing acupuncture treatment in Beijing, China...

- Larry, what is this? - It's OK, Alan.

Mr. Flynt, this court fears that you're seriously mentally ill.

Well, opinions are like assholes, Your Honor, everybody's got one.

- Cut it out, cut it out. - Shut up, Alan.

- No, shut up. I'm not kidding. - No, you shut up.

Mr. Flynt, you listen to your lawyer. You let him do the talking.

No, I know the rules, OK?

Now... you're fired. I'm representing myself now...

That's good, because I am so tired of you. You're fired.

You can't fucking fire me. You're fired.

Sir, we will not have that cursing in this court room.

- What? - Larry Flynt...

How about spitting?

Marshal, put a gag on that man.

- Alright, sit down, sir. - (Larry) You bastard. Get the hell...

Sit down, lady. Lady, be seated there in the back.

Get off me.

(Judge) I want everybody sitting down in this courtroom.

Yeah.

Alright, Mr. Flynt, are you willing to calm down now, sir?

Mm-hmm.

Now, if I take that gag off of you,

are you gonna show me and my courtroom staff

the courtesy and respect that we deserve?

Mm-hmm.

Alright, Marshal.

(Grunts)

Fuck you, you son of a bitch.

(Judge) I've had enough of this.

Larry Flynt, you leave me no choice, but to sentence you to nine months.

Nine months? Is that all you got?

Three more months, then, fine.

Fuck you, Your Honor.

- You want more? - Larry, Larry, stop it.

Sit down, lady.

Larry Flynt, you are hereby sentenced to 15 months

in a federal psychiatric prison.

Hey, don't look at me. Ask for bail, Counselor.

Can I post bail, Your Honor?

No.

Now, get him out of my courtroom.

- Fucking bastard. - (Judge) Yes, sir, you can say

all of those foul words behind four padded walls.

Get him on out.

(Patient laughs maniacally)

(Pounding)

(Bells tolling)

Gentlemen...

Something we'd like to show you, sir.

I don't understand.

The Reverend would never endorse a liquor company.

Well, there's a larger problem.

Substantially larger.

Oh.

You see, sir, it says right there that the Reverend...

...he... um...

It says, sir, that he fornicated with his mother in an outhouse.

Give me a second.

Now, what do you boys have for me today?

Reverend, I... I think you need to read this.

Give me your jacket, please.

Jesus Christ.

(Guard) Stand up, please.

Raise your foot.

Arms up.

- Arms what? - Arms up.

(Chuckles)

Larry...

...you look so good.

Wow.

You look like shit.

What?

Larry... I don't wanna work at the magazine anymore.

People there don't listen to me, and they don't talk to me.

They're afraid of me, and they don't shake my hand.

Larry, I went to Dr. Robert

and he... he told me that I was sick.

I mean, sick-sick.

I mean, I got AIDS, Larry.

They won't shake your hand?

Oh, yes, sir. Yes.

Code pink. Code pink.

'Code pink. Code pink.'

Larry, it's Jimmy here. You there?

Lar? Larry, you there?

(Larry) 'l have some important announcements to make.'

So, how you doing? How's the hospital treating you?

'Never mind that. Is everybody there?'

- Yes, Larry. - (Jimmy) We're all here, Larry.

'Good. You're all fired.'

Larry, I mean, wait a minute here, Larry.

You can't just fire these people. We need these people.

'Shut up, Jimbo!

'It's my business, and I'll run it into the ground if I want to.

'OK, that's all. I gotta go.'

What the fuck was that?

Just calm down, OK, Arlo? Don't panic on me.

None of you guys are fired, alright?

- But Larry just said that... - Yeah, well, what did Larry say?

He's in a nuthouse, right, Chester?

I said you're not fired. Do you have a problem with that?

(Door slams open)

Thank you. Thank you. Thanks.

Jesus, Althea.

Hi, hi. Come on, sit down. Sit down.

Over there?

You alright, Mrs. Flynt?

Fine, thanks.

You... you look... you look different.

I don't know, did you... did you change your hair?

- Yeah, I changed my hair. - Yeah, I like it.

Yeah, my hair's different.

So, what's up?

Um... I got this the other day,

and I brought it by to see if you would look at it, please.

Wow. That is... I mean, this is...

- It's intense. - Yes, itis.

What are we gonna do?

You're gonna give it to Larry's lawyers, whoever they are.

Alan, you are our lawyers.

You've always been our lawyers. You're part of the family.

Don't listen to Larry. You know how he is.

I don't know, Althea.

Alan, we really need your help. Please, please help us.

Please, please... Alan.

(Knock on cell door)

Boy, this is... This is great, Larry.

This is really great. I hope it was worth it.

Didn't I fire you?

(Scoffs)

Well, I mean, I've always ignored most of what you've said, right?

Well, listen... I know the timing is lousy,

but you remember your... your little Campari ad?

The... the Jerry Falwell in the outhouse with his mother, and...

Mmm.

Well, he saw it and... I guess it's safe to say

he... he didn't really find it all that funny.

OK, and he is suing you... for libel

and intentional infliction of emotional distress,

and he is asking for 40 million dollars.

Hm?

This is Jerry Falwell in his home state.

So, if you're up to it,

we really oughta figure out how you wanna deal with this.

Countersue.

- What? - Yeah, Jerry, he's suing you.

He's suing me? For heaven's sakes, on what grounds?

Well, you Xeroxed his ad,

and you sent it out in a million fundraising letters.

Yeah, so?

But you didn't get his permission, and that's copyright infringement.

The depth of his depravity sickens me.

They are gonna put you on the stand,

and your testimony is gonna make or break us on this one, as always.

So, downplay how much you hate Falwell.

You've got to make them understand that it was just a joke.

- ♪ I'm just a clown... - Hey, take this one seriously, Larry.

- ♪ Just a clown ♪ - Don't fuck it up for yourself,

because this is gonna be the most expensive case

- you've ever had if you lose it. - OK!

Hi.

Reverend Falwell, you're a preacher, is that right?

Yes, I am.

And as a preacher, you... you speak to a... a fairly broad audience.

I mean, you... you preach on television

and on your "Old Time Gospel Radio Hour".

I do.

(Alan) So, you've achieved a certain notoriety.

One might say, a national reputation

for your sermons and your opinions and ideas

and your leadership of the Moral Majority.

Yes. Our membership is now over five million.

OK, but even beyond your membership, really,

you've been... you've been recognized and awarded

for your efforts all over America.

I have a number of honorary degrees.

In a recent poll of... "Good Housekeeping" magazine,

I was voted second most admired American

behind President Reagan.

"Good Housekeeping", that's-that's... I mean, hey, you're famous, right?

Well, I suppose you could say that.

Mm-hmm.

Reverend Falwell, have you ever had sex with your mother?

(Chuckles)

Absolutely not.

Never? I mean, you never...

Never in the outhouse as "Hustler" magazine suggested?

That is an absurd question.

My mother was a... a very godly woman...

...and as close to a saint as anyone I have ever known.

(Alan) I'm sure she was.

Reverend, have you ever preached while you were drunk?

- Drunk? - (Alan) Yes.

- Never. - (Alan) Never?

Hal

I mean, you never even had a few too many at lunch

and then went back on the radio once?

That is a totally outrageous suggestion.

- Totally outrageous? - Totally.

You don't think that some people, Reverend Falwell,

despite your reputation,

might have reason to believe that you could do that?

I would find that very difficult to believe.

So, really, what you're telling me is that nobody could reasonably think

that these statements about you were true.

Yes, that's what I've been saying.

OK.

Reverend Falwell, at the beginning of this trial,

Judge Kirk gave very specific instructions to this jury, OK?

She said, quote, "If a reasonable person could not believe

"that 'Hustler' magazine describes actual facts about Jerry Falwell,

"then you must dismiss the libel claim."

Do you remember these instructions?

Obviously not. So, I'm gonna ask you one more thing.

Why are you suing my client for libel?

I am not a lawyer, Mr. Isaacman.

I am a lawyer, OK, and I can't figure it out either.

Would you state your full name for the record, please, Mr. Flynt?

(Clears throat) Yes, sir.

Uh... Christopher Columbus, Cornwallis, IPQ,

Harvey H., and Pagey Piu.

That's very interesting, but are you also known as Larry Flynt?

AKA Jesus H. Flynt, Esquire.

Oh, for Christ's sakes.

Are you the publisher and the editor in chief of "Hustler" magazine?

I am the publisher of the... most tasteless, sleaziest,

most disgusting, greatest porn magazine on the face of the earth.

Thank you.

I have in my hand exhibit B,

which is a typewritten script of the Campari ad.

When you approved this ad, did you have any specific knowledge

that the Reverend Falwell had ever engaged

in sexual intercourse with his mother?

No, but I have a photograph

of Falwell... having fellatio with a sheep.

Your Honor, my client Is in a heavily medicated,

mentally agitated state.

We will stipulate that no such document exists.

I have it, and Mr. Fartwell is a liar, a glutton, and a sheepophile.

Mr. Flynt, my client's name is Jerry Falwell.

- Jerry Falwell! - That's what I said, Jerry Fartwell.

Are you trying to hold the Reverend Falwell up to ridicule?

No. Contempt.

Scorn!

Uh... truculence.

Obloquy.

Parlez-vous francais?

Oh, je parle le francais mieux que toi, monsieur!

Embrace mon derriére, mon ami.

Oh, God, my French is so rusty. It's just so rusty.

Bon appétit.

Bon appétit. I love her.

Quiet in the courtroom.

I love you, baby.

♪ Jesus loves me... ♪

Mr. Flynt, do you have an aversion to organized religion?

- A virgin? - No, aversion. Aversion!

You heard me, Mr. Flynt. An aversion to organized religion.

I... You bet your sweet ass I do.

Do you think that gives you license

to mock the leaders of great religious movements?

Well, goddamn right.

Larry, no! Objection, Your Honor. This is totally irrelevant.

Overruled.

Free expression is absolute.

- Thank you, Your Honor. - Do you agree?

(Bangs gavel) Order. Ma'am, if you can't control yourself,

you're going to have to leave the courtroom.

So that it was your intention

to hold Reverend Falwell out to be a hypocrite, wasn't it?

Well, that's what he is.

But didn't it occur to you that Reverend Falwell

must have an integrity that people can believe in

if he is to practice his profession?

Yeah.

And it was your intent to destroy that integrity

and his livelihood if you could?

To assassinate it.

Hey, it's me. It's a weird decision.

- Well, get me Bill, quick. - No, he's not guilty of libel,

but he is guilty of inflicting "emotional distress".

So now, Flynt has to pay him 200 grand!

"This ruling shows that nobody can prostitute the First Amendment.

'Pornography has thrust its ugly head into our everyday lives.

"The billion dollar sex industry,

'of which Larry Flynt is a self-described leader...

'Lust and greed have replaced decency and morality.

"We must make a solemn commitment to God Almighty

'to turn this nation around immediately.'

Fucking AIDS junkie.

You crazy cripple.

Listen, it's just not that funny,

and I'm afraid it wasn't funny the first time we printed it either.

Well, guys, I'm certainly open to suggestions.

(Miles) I would suggest that if we're going to recycle it,

that we replace the noun...

I thought I fired all of you.

Jimmy...

...come here.

Larry, um... I'm sorry if I tried to run things,

but... you know, I was just trying to protect you...

Come here.

Closer.

Come on.

Don't sweat it, bro. I love you.

I love you too, man.

Larry... you look great, man.

Chester, you remember Althea? Shake her hand.

- Hey, Althea, you... - Hi, Chester.

Hi.

Don't sneak up on us like that. Give us a heart attack.

Yeah, what the hell. Shake Althea's hand.

Althea, good to see you.

- Hello, Faith. - Welcome back. Hi, Althea.

- What do you do? - I'm a secretary.

Good to see you, Althea.

Arlo, hi.

(+ Betty Boop's "Happy You And Merry Me" playing)

♪ Who's young and healthy? Cross your heart and confess

♪ Happy you and merry me

♪ Oh, who's brought the ticket for the joy town express?

♪ Happy you and merry me

♪ Though Mr. Gloom may chase us

♪ We'll dodge him everyday

♪ Say, who's feeling fine and dandy? Can't you see

♪ Happy you and merry me

♪ Bop! ♪

- l gotit. - No.

I'm gonna take my bath.

Take my bath.

OK. Why don't you hop on? I'll give you a ride.

Go ahead. Buckle up.

Daddy.

Oh, you're crushing my legs.

You're shivering, baby.

(Groans) Sorry.

You're shivering.

Detour. Oh, no!

What are you doing? You... you're gonna kill us.

It's OK! They'll freeze us and thaw us out in the year 3000.

Curbside service. That'll be 8.50, lady.

Dr. Kipper, please.

Larry Flynt.

Dr. Kipper?

She doesn't look good.

Well, I know, but there's gotta be something more we can do,

some new technology or drug.

What are they doing in Europe?

You know money's no object...

Althea?

Althea?

Althea!

Baby!

Baby?

Baby!

Baby!

Baby, no!

No! Baby!

Help!

Help!

Baby!

No! No...

Can you hear me?

Baby?

No...

(Priest) Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life.

"No man comes to the Father but by me.

"He that liveth and believeth in me shall never die.

"In my father's house are many rooms,

"and if I go and prepare a place for you,

"I will come again and receive you unto myself.

"That where I am, there you may be also,

"and you will live with me forever and ever."

"You cannot mock God. You cannot fool God.

'If you violate his laws, God Almighty will judge you.

'AIDS is a plague.

"These perverted lifestyles have to stop.

'If you break moral laws, you reap the whirlwind.'

Alan, it's Larry.

I wanna appeal the Falwell case.

This is over. Over.

No, it's not over. We can go higher.

- Higher? - The Supreme Court.

- (Scoffs) Yeah. - Give 'em a call.

It's not that simple, Larry. It's not that simple.

You... I mean, thousands of people every year

petition the Supreme Court, OK? Thousands.

Now, our case is as good as any.

Our case is better than most of 'em. You're missing my point.

My point is that they will never pick you, because you're a nightmare.

They're afraid if they let you in the court,

you're gonna wear a diaper or throw oranges at the justices,

and they should be, Larry,

because, in all the times you've gone to court asking for help,

you've never once demonstrated any respect

for its institutions and procedures.

So, as far as they're concerned, you're just a pig.

Yeah, well, we... You always said, and it's the principle,

a pig has the same rights as a president!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, people get tired of a pig, Larry.

Bullshit! You're scared, Alan. You're scared.

You're letting these guys steamroll ov...

Oh, look, it's not just them, Larry! OK? It's me!

It's me. I am not taking you.

Lawyers dream about a case like this in front of the Supreme Court.

Dream of it.

And they would probably hear us, if you wanna know the truth,

but I am not going with you.

I have been giving you my best

since back when people were laughing at you,

and every time I come in there now,

you fuck me with this bullshit circus act!

I won't do it again, I can't. I'm not gonna do it

in front of the Supreme Court of the United States. I'm just not.

Your... your sentimental speeches and your cornball patriotism,

they just... they don't work on me anymore, Lar,

because I don't believe you.

I don't believe you.

You're... you're my...

...my friend, Alan.

We're friends.

I... IH just...

I would love to be remembered for something meaningful.

Any research problems, I encourage you to use my archives,

and... tell the Reverend that I've dealt with this filth monger myself,

and I wish to offer my support.

Is that the Tin Man?

Yes, that's the Tin Man.

(Reporter) God versus the Devil.

America's minister versus America's pimp.

Today is the showdown.

Many were surprised by the High Court's decision

to hear Larry Flynt's case,

but he had some unlikely supporters filing briefs on his behalf,

like the "New York Times",

the American Newspaper Publishers Association,

and the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists...

(Clerk) All rise.

The honorable, the Chief Justice and the Associate Justices

of the Supreme Court of the United States.

Oyez, oyez, oyez.

All persons having business before the honorable,

the Supreme Court of the United States,

are admonished to draw near and give their attention.

For this court is now sitting.

God save the United States and the Supreme Court.

(Chief Justice) We'll hear the argument first this morning

in number 86/1278,

"Hustler" magazine and Larry C. Flynt versus Jerry Falwell.

Mr. Isaacman... you may proceed whenever you're ready.

Mr. Chief Justice and may it please the court.

One of the most cherished ideas that we hold in this country

is that there should be uninhibited public debate

and freedom of speech.

Now, the question you have before you today

is whether a public figure's right to protection from emotional distress

should outweigh the public interest

in allowing every citizen of this country

to freely express his views.

But what was the view expressed in Exhibit A?

Well, to begin with, this is a parody of a known Campari ad.

- I understand. Go ahead. - OK.

Also, and more importantly, it was a satire of a public figure,

of Jerry Falwell,

who in this case, was really a prime candidate for such a satire,

because he's such an unlikely person to appear in a liquor ad.

This is a person that we are used to seeing at the pulpit, Bible in hand,

preaching with a famously beatific smile on his face.

But what is the public interest you're describing?

That there is some interest in making him look ludicrous?

Yes, yes, Your Honor.

There is a public interest in making Jerry Falwell look ludicrous.

Insofar as there is a public interest

in having "Hustler" magazine express the point of view

that Jerry Falwell is full of BS.

And-and "Hustler" magazine has every right to express this view.

They have the right to say that...

somebody who has campaigned actively against our magazine,

who has told people not to buy it,

who has... publicly said that it poisons the minds of Americans,

who in addition has told people that sex out of wedlock is immoral,

that they shouldn't drink.

"Hustler" magazine has a... a First Amendment right

to publicly respond to these comments

by saying that Jerry Falwell is full of BS.

It-it says, "Let's deflate this stuffed shirt

"and bring him down to our level."

Our level in this case being admittedly a lower level

than most people would like to be brought to.

(Audience chuckles)

I-1 apologize.

I know I'm not supposed to joke, but that's sort of the point.

But, Mr. Isaacman,

the First Amendment is not everything.

I mean, it's a... a very important value,

but it's not the only value In our society.

What about another value which says that good people

should be able to enter public life and public service?

The rule you give us says that if you stand for public office

or become a public figure in any way,

you cannot protect yourself, or indeed your mother,

against a parody of your committing incest with her in an outhouse.

Now, do you think that...

George Washington would have stood for public office

if that was the consequence?

It's interesting that you mention George Washington, Justice Scalia,

because very recently I saw a political cartoon that's over 200 years old.

It depicts George Washington riding on a donkey,

being led by a man, and the caption su... the caption suggests

that this man is leading an ass to Washington.

I can handle that. I-1 think George can handle that.

(Audience laughs)

But that's a far cry from committing incest

with your mother in an outhouse.

(Laughter continues)

I mean, there's no line between the two?

Uh... no, Justice Scalia.

I would say there is no line between the two,

because, really, what you're talking about is a matter of taste

and not law.

As you yourself said, I believe, in Pope versus lllinois,

"It's useless to argue about taste

"and even more useless to litigate it".

And that is the case here.

The jury has already determined for us that this is a matter of taste

and not a matter of law,

because they've said that there is no libelous speech.

That nobody could reasonably believe that "Hustler" was actually suggesting

that Jerry Falwell had sex with his mother.

So, why did "Hustler" have him and his mother together?

"Hustler" puts him and his mother together

in-in a... example of literary travesty, if you will.

And what public purpose does this serve?

Well, it serves the same public purpose

as having Gary Trudeau say that Reagan has no brain,

or that George Bush is a wimp.

It lets us look at public figures a little bit differently.

We have a long tradition in this country of satiric commentary.

Now, if-if Jerry Falwell can sue

when there has been no libelous speech,

purely on the grounds of emotional distress,

then so can other public figures,

and imagine, if you will,

suits against people like Gary Trudeau

and Johnny Carson

for what he says on "The Tonight Show" tonight.

Obviously, when-when people criticize... public figures,

they're going to experience emotional distress.

We all know that.

It's... it's the easiest thing in the world to claim

and it's impossible to refute,

and that's what makes it a meaningless standard.

Really, all it does is allow us to punish unpopular speech.

And-and... this country is founded, at least in part...

on the firm belief that unpopular speech

is absolutely vital to the health of our nation.

Thank you, Mr. Isaacman.

Reverend, are you confident that you will win this case?

Absolutely.

There's no way the Supreme Court

will come down on the side of a sleaze merchant like Larry Flynt.

Mr. Keating, why are you here today?

To show support for those people

who believe that pornography should be outlawed.

Because if the First Amendment will protect a...

- What did Grutman call me? - Scumbag.

...a scumbag like me, well then, it'll protect all of you,

because I'm the worst.

Larry, do you have any regrets?

Only one.

(♪ The Czech Philharmonic Orchestra plays "Stabat Mater's Selections")

(Althea on video) Larry?'

(Althea laughs)

'Larry?'

(Althea laughs)

'Larry?'

(♪ "Selections From Stabat Mater" continues playing)

(Phone ringing)

- Hello? - It's Alan.

They just brought the decision in.

Well, is it good or bad?

Well, it's a unanimous decision, Larry, and Rehnquist wrote it himself.

Is it good or bad?

Well, I want you to hear this.

"At the heart of the First Amendment

"is the recognition of the fundamental importance of the free flow of ideas.

"Freedom to speak one's mind

"is not only an aspect of individual liberty,

"but essential to the quest for truth

"and the vitality of society as a whole.

"In the world of debate about public affairs,

"many things done with motives that are less than admirable

"are nonetheless protected by the First Amendment."

So, we won.

Yes, we did. We won.

Thank you, Alan.

- 'Thank you.' - Don't mention it.

We won, baby.

(Laughs)

Strip for me, baby.

"Why?'

So when you're old and ugly, you can look back at this.

(Laughs)

'I'm never gonna be old and ugly, Larry.

"You're gonna be old and ugly.'

(♪ "Selections From Stabat Mater" continues playing)

(¢ Gary Wright: "DREAM WEAVER")

♪ I've just closed my eyes again

♪ Climbed aboard the dream weaver train

♪ Driver, take away my worries of today

♪ And leave tomorrow behind

♪ Ooh, dream weaver

♪ I believe you can get me through the night

♪ Ooh, dream weaver

♪ I believe we can reach the morning light

♪ Fly me high through the starry skies

♪ Maybe to an astral plane

♪ Cross the highways of fantasy

♪ Help me to forget today's pain

♪ Ooh, dream weaver

♪ I believe you can get me through the night

♪ Ooh, dream weaver

♪ I believe we can reach the morning light

♪ Though the dawn may be coming soon

♪ There still may be some time

♪ Fly me away to the bright side of the moon

♪ And meet me on the other side

♪ Ooh, dream weaver

♪ I believe you can get me through the night

♪ Ooh, dream weaver

♪ I believe we can reach the morning light

♪ Dream weaver

♪ Dream weaver

♪ Dream weaver ♪