Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KARA (VOICEOVER): Earth Day One, Collector 3879.

Transport to Earth has been successful.

I've taken the shape of a human female,

and I'm calling myself "Kara."

Humans come in all shapes and sizes.

The diversity is quite remarkable.

The humans have five highly developed senses.

It seems as though they strive to please these senses

at all times, be it taste, smell, hearing, touch,

or sight, stimulation is what they

are constantly searching for.

I've also observed several intimate encounters

between people.

The exchange of energy between the humans as they couple

is most gratifying.

I don't think they realize how powerful this energy is.

Breaking with the rules of The Order

I have decided to step out of my role as observer

and actually participate in human relationships.

There are no words to describe the boundless pleasures.

I have decided to extend my stay.

These pleasures are too exciting to give up.

- Very nice feeling. - May I?

Yes, they're very nice.

I see your anatomical responses

are responding correctly.

I wonder how big it will get.

I don't think we should wait to find out.

We have work to do.

OK, look, Lester, we have to talk.

OK, it's just not working out.

I mean, it's swell, but--

OK, that sounds really stupid. It's too formal.

Lester, I need more from you than you could ever give me.

And now I sound like I'm in a soap opera.

Lester, don't say a word.

OK, don't say a word.

I mean, it's over.

I'm out of here.

Take good care of yourself.

Perfect.

To the point, honest.

Lester, don't say a word.

Lester, look I'm out here.

You know, it's just not working out.

Terry, what's up?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Lester, look, I'm out of here.

Take care of yourself.

What do you mean, you're out of here?

This isn't working.

I thought it worked pretty good.

Yeah, that's just the problem.

You know, we have great sex, but--

I wouldn't say that that's a problem.

Look, that is all that we have.

You are so wrapped up in your little UFO hobby

that I can't even break through unless we--

Roll around the floor.

Yes.

Yeah, but I want something more than just physical.

Look, I need attention.

I want someone that I can count on.

Terry, we have a good thing going here.

Why do you want to go and change that?

No, you have a good thing going.

What do you want from me?

Name it, and I'll do it.

I want you to quit with all this UFO crap!

Crap?

This isn't crap.

Lester, I work for a living.

I have assignments and the headlines.

The newspaper calls, I take the pictures, I turn them in.

That's being responsible.

That's being an adult.

So you're calling me irresponsible.

No, I'm just saying that pissing away your trust fund

on these far-fetched ideas is not my idea of a mature adult.

You know, at first I thought it was kind of cute,

my boyfriend the eccentric.

You know, but now it's just kind of silly.

You have no idea how much this means to me, do you?

You have no idea how much time and energy

I've put into my studies.

You just don't want to open your mind up to the possibilities.

No, my mind is open, Lester.

That's why I'm leaving you.

[BEEPING]

Oh my god, oh my god!

Oh my god, Terry, it happened!

Terry, Terry, it happened.

They've arrived.

What are you talking about?

The visitors from out there.

Come on.

- What? - It happened again.

While we were doing it, it happened again.

What happened?

The visitors have come back.

Lester, please don't start with this again.

There's been a temperature shift in the upper atmosphere,

following by an increase in ionization.

That is all right here.

Right off the weather satellites I've hacked into.

Hey, you want proof, here it is.

This means nothing.

Proof is pictures, hard facts, indisputable evidence.

I can track 'em with this.

If they've landed, I'll find 'em.

- Lester. - I'm serious.

You should have seen this thing at Roswell.

It went crazy.

OK, Lester, that's it.

I can't handle this.

Will you come with me to find them?

- What? - The aliens.

Come with me.

Take pictures, and together we'll

both make documentation and prove once and for that we

are being visited.

And then you can't have any doubts.

Look, this is ridiculous.

I've waited my whole life for this moment.

I wanna share it with you.

Don't quit on me now.

Great.

I mean, the first sincere guy I date

and he believes in men from Mars.

There's no life on Mars.

Now, the moons of Jupiter, that's another story.

Will you come with me?

OK, I'll make you a deal.

I will spend the day chasing around your little UFOs,

but when you don't find them, will you please put all

of this nonsense behind you?

Deal, but I won't have to.

You'll see.

I never could understand why humans need to cover

up their bodies with clothes.

They obsess so much over striving

for physical perfection, then they cover it all up.

It doesn't make sense.

I think it's to keep their lustful feelings under control.

Really?

Well, we know from our research how impulsive.

They can be.

If they were exposed to nude bodies on a constant basis,

they would be more likely to spend

their time trying to have sex than other productive pursuits.

Interesting theory.

Even now, with your clothes on,

I can picture what you look like naked.

Good thing I have control over my emotions,

or else it could be quite distracting.

I see what you mean.

I can picture you naked too.

DAK: Greetings, fellow collectors.

Welcome to Planet Earth.

I am Dak.

Your access is my command.

I trust you have found the safe house to your liking?

Very much so.

I am Collector 4899.

I'm Collector 5032.

We've come to escort Collector 3879 back to Alteria.

The Order is very upset with her reports.

Is that so?

I've found them to be quite stimulating.

It's gotten so I couldn't wait for her next report.

You seem to be overly enthusiastic for a star cruiser

mainframe.

I've been spending a lot of time downloading

information from the various internet

communications on this planet.

I suppose some emotional algorithms

have rubbed off on me.

No matter.

Collector 3879 was assigned to a 24 hour collection period.

She's been on this planet for well over one

of its solar years.

For the first time in her existence, Kara is having fun.

I suppose she didn't want to give that up.

You can't argue with that logic, now, can you?

Kara?

Right.

Collector 3879's Earth name.

I guess we'll need some names too.

How about "Xeda" and "Trion?"

Where did you get those names?

Merely a couple of circuit boards I've interfaced with.

Fine with me.

We're not going to be here that long, anyway.

You've been equipped with transport modules.

I will now download the coordinates of all of Kara's

travels into a remote uplink.

Please stand by.

I've had my eye on this location for some time now.

The readings I've been getting from this area's

been extraordinary.

I think this is their landing spot.

I thought aliens landed in the middle some wheat field

and made crop circles or something.

Oh, no, they just do that for fun.

The real business is in the urban areas.

And why is it you're the only one who knows this?

Oh, there others, believe me. There are others.

Somehow, I don't find that thought comforting.

OK, so what do we do now?

Just knock on the door and see if the aliens can come out

and play?

We need the element of surprise.

These characters can be very evasive.

Hey, you know, the last time I checked,

that was against the law.

Shh.

Oh, right, well, we wouldn't want the owners

of the house to hear us and do something crazy like call

the police! - Come on.

[BEEP]

The download is complete.

You may now begin your research where Kara began hers.

Excellent.

Ah-hah!

It's empty.

What a surprise.

Just like every other room in this house.

These readings I'm getting are incredible.

I think I can get a lock on 'em now.

They're leaving an ion trail wherever they go.

Come on, before the trail fades.

Where?

They like to walk among us. .

They feel safe surrounded by throngs of people.

You almost make this stuff sound believable.

It's real. Please believe me.

I'm trying.

Well, let's go.

Where are we?

It appears to be a replenishment station.

Yes, a restaurant.

That's it, a restaurant.

And Kara came here?

According to our files.

Maybe we should review the reports.

KARA (VOICEOVER): Food.

Humans consume a lot of energy searching for the perfect meal.

Preparation is a big part, but not so big a part

as the actual consumption.

It's amazing how comforting food can be.

Now I know what hunger feels like.

We should eat then.

Remember not to draw too much attention to ourselves

and blend in.

Two?

Yes, we are.

Table for two?

That would appear to be sufficient.

Whatever.

Follow me.

Space, it's not the final frontier.

There's nothing there but blackness and dark.

Explore your soul, live your life, celebrate Mother Earth.

Forget space. Forget the moon.

Forget the sun.

Forget Mars.

It's all empty.

[FINGER SNAPPING]

Excuse me, but I think your assessment of the universe

is a little lacking in accurate information.

Yeah, like you would know.

Well, as a matter of fact.

Hey, we just came here to eat.

So eat.

Just don't bum me out.

I can't take criticism, man.

We shouldn't anger the humans.

Have you forgotten about their history?

Right, the Crusades, the inquisitions, the wars.

Humans can be very volatile.

So what will it be?

Hm, I think I'd like to try the left side of the menu.

And I will have the right side.

You must be really hungry.

Whatever.

OK.

I notice you're picking up on the local colloquialisms.

Thought it'd help us fit in.

Well, then watch how I can fit.

I shall present my own theories on space for the audience.

WOMAN: Lay it on us, brother!

Way past Saturn, just around the corner from the Milky Way,

on the other side of the Andromeda, is my planet.

It's a long trip, man.

You know, my planet has five moons.

My planet has a red ocean with fish that fly.

My planet is always cold.

WOMAN: Go man, go!

We don't talk much on my planet.

We don't eat much on my planet.

In fact, no one knows how to feel on my planet.

No one knows how to touch on my planet.

My planet is always cold.

[FINGER SNAPPING]

I love the way you smell.

I smell like ranch dressing.

No, you don't.

You smell like a summer morning after the rain.

You smell like a cloud over a field of wheat.

You're talking crap.

Keep it up.

Look, foreplay.

Where?

Over there.

Ah, excellent.

Do you think they'll go all the way?

I hope so. I'd like to see this first hand.

Baby, can you take a break?

Right now, in the middle of lunch?

I can't keep my hands off you.

I need to be all over you.

- I can't. - You can.

You're right. I can.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

SONG: Feel me.

Love me.

That's right, baby.

I love it too.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Touch me now.

Oh, yeah.

Feel me, baby.

Are you all right?

Doesn't this affect you?

I'm more concerned about how you feel.

Your pulse is racing.

Now your pulse is racing.

Stop that, please.

Did I do it wrong?

No, but we can't get distracted.

We're on a mission, remember?

Right, the mission.

Let's go back to the table.

I've got to get back.

Stop that. Stop.

I've gotta go.

I think they went in here.

Oh, yeah, right.

I know if I was an alien that just landed on Earth,

the very first thing I would wanna do

would be to get a Cobb salad.

My machines don't lie.

This place is just bursting with ionized radiation.

OK, let's just say that, for the sake of argument,

that there is someone in there from another galaxy.

What are you gonna do about it?

Establish contact.

They would be strangers in a strange land.

They'll need a guide.

Ready?

I'm ready as I'll ever be.

"Strangers in a strange land?"

Everybody looks strange to me.

Play it cool.

Just act like we're here having lunch.

I'll try.

I'd ask you if there'd be anything else,

but you've had everything.

I'm very full.

I like this eating thing.

Quite pleasurable.

Well, good for you.

I'll be right back with your check.

[CRACKLING]

Don't bum me out, man.

Welcome to Earth.

Thanks.

We mean you no harm.

That's swell.

What is it you wish?

That you would stop talking like an idiot.

Um, excuse me, but are you an alien?

No, but I got a good guess who is.

Who?

Way to go, Lester.

I can see how great your so-called tracking

devices work.

She was covered with ions.

I could have sworn she was one of them.

Look, I am no expert, but I really

don't think that an alien is going

to take a job as a waitress in a place like this.

Hah.

Call me crazy.

Here's your check.

You'll have a nice day and watch out for the weirdos.

"Check?"

An itemized listing of our food.

That's very helpful.

I think we're supposed to leave money.

Right.

We don't have any money.

Well, then we should leave without drawing

attention to ourselves.

We'll return later today with money.

Good idea.

Shall we proceed to the next location on Kara's list?

It appears to be a place called The Rubdown.

The Rubdown?

Access Dak and we'll transport there.

[TELEPORTATION SOUNDS]

Oh my god, this is what they ate.

Yeah, they must have been really hungry.

Hey, where did those two go?

There were two of them?

Yeah, and they ate everything off the menu,

and I do mean everything.

Aliens love our food.

I think this food would kill them.

Did they happen to say where they're going?

- You know them? - Yes.

Yes, I do.

Well, then, you can pay their bill, because it looks

like they just skipped out.

But--

Fork it over.

Yeah, you heard her.

Fork it over.

Well, do you know what they look like?

Like everybody else in this town.

Two beautiful people with great bodies.

Now, are you gonna pay up, or do I have to get nasty?

I'll pay, I'll pay.

Oh, great.

Now the ions have just completely dissipated.

Look, are you sure we're not just

following around someone who works in a nuclear power plant?

Don't be ridiculous.

[CHUCKLING]

You are out trying to make friends with aliens,

and you're calling me ridiculous.

I'm sorry.

I'm just-- I'm just very anxious.

You know, the more I think about this,

the more I think it's a really stupid idea.

I thought you were gonna let me prove my theories to you.

Come on, Lester.

Look, this is a wild goose chase.

OK?

I mean, we are all alone on this planet.

There are no aliens.

That's it.

End of story.

Now, if you wanna be with me, be with me.

But you're gonna have to quit all this nonsense.

I can't.

I have to see where all this is gonna leave me.

Then you're gonna have to do it alone.

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.

Yeah, me too.

Good one.

I'm sorry. - It's OK, Terry.

I'm fine.

Do I know you?

No, but I know you.

And if you wanna keep Lester safe,

you'd better stick with him.

What are you talking about?

He could be in a lot of danger.

He needs your protection.

My protection?

Trust me.

Yeah, I'll do just that.

Look, Lester will be fine, but what I wanna--

hey!

Lester!

Is this the place?

This is it.

I recall from Kara's reports that extreme amount of pleasure

were derived from simply touching each other.

We should review her files.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Let's try it.

I thought you'd never ask.

I'm not feeling a whole lot of pleasure from this.

I think we need to get naked.

Come on.

Come on, Freddy.

We've only got 15 minutes.

Yeah, but--

You said-- you said I could use your body anytime I want.

I need the practice!

- I'm not gonna argue with that. - Come on.

How does this feel?

[MOANING]

You know, I can give this to you any time you want.

[MOANING]

But first, we need to clearly define

our roles in this relationship.

Pay attention, Freddy!

What?

I'm just tired of being dominant.

I wanna be swept off my feet.

I-- I want-- I want a pirate kind of guy

with a patch on his eye and a scruffy beard.

What the hell are you talking about?

Never mind.

Get up. I'm finished.

I have to get back to work.

This is work.

You're a masseuse here, remember?

That's the problem, Freddy.

I'm supposed to be establishing a spiritual connection.

I'm supposed to be--

I'm supposed to be exchanging energy,

energy with my subjects, and you're blocking me!

Kiss me, baby.

Oh, Freddy.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MOANING]

See? Now, was that so hard?

Not anymore.

I'd better get up to the front. - Oh, no.

It's time for our post-coital cuddling time.

Baby I gotta go.

There's nobody up there.

Fine!

Thanks for the rubdown.

Excuse me.

May we ask you something?

Where the hell did you come from?

A galaxy far, far away.

Right after people do it, do they become

aggressive with one another?

We always thought that the act of intimacy

is a pleasurable one, and you two got in a real argument

there.

Have-- have you two been spying on us?

You and this Freddy person, you're involved, right?

Or is it just "one of those things?"

Wow.

You two are very trippy.

You talk just like Kara.

Kara?

Kara?

Yeah, Kara.

You know her?

We're-- we're--

Her family.

Oh, let me guess.

Like-- like her brother and sister?

Very well.

Kara, she like, thinks she's from another planet,

but she's cool.

I like her.

Yes, we must speak with her.

You know, I haven't seen her for a couple of weeks.

She-- she comes in here all the time.

She loves being massaged.

She says it's a stimulation that increases

its pleasure with every session, or something like that.

Do you know where she is?

Maybe.

She's very open about her interests.

You know what I mean?

I don't.

Oh.

It's very important that we find her.

Her family misses her very much.

Oh, how sweet.

I think I know how to find her.

She has some very particular tastes.

[CRACKLING]

Lester, I'm telling you, something

is seriously wrong here. - I know.

Will you look at my readings?

They must be here.

Would you put that thing down for one goddamn minute?

Look, that guy scared me.

I mean, he knew who I was.

He knows who you are.

Look, I think he's following you.

I'm just happy you decided to follow on my search.

I can't talk to you.

Is this your first visit to The Rubdown?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, listen, have you seen to LA gorgeous type people come

strolling through here that acted like they belonged

but they really didn't?

Uh, I didn't see anybody, but if you

could fill this paperwork out, I could

set you up with a therapist.

Well, can we tour your facility before we sign this?

- Sure, knock yourselves out. - Come on.

[CRACKLING]

I'm out of here.

Where are you going?

What do you care?

We've got customers.

I deserve a break.

Besides, I'm on a mission of mercy.

I'm helping a family get reunited.

This is Kara's brother and sister.

Hey, I don't even know your names.

Xeda, and this is Trion.

Sounds like a computer board.

So you're related to Kara?

Kara's great.

Yes, she is.

We miss her very much.

Well, I'll be back whenever.

Fine, maybe I'll be here.

Maybe I won't. - Fine.

Now the signal's faded again.

Damn, I knew it.

Lester.

Excuse me, are you sure no one new's come through here?

They just left.

Who left?

Those new people that you were asking about.

They took off with Kiki.

Kiki?

Yeah, she's looking for Kara.

Kara?

Yeah, her brother and sister are looking for her.

I think they said their names were Xeda and Trion.

Is this the Kara that claims she's an alien visitor?

- Yeah, that's her. - Ah-hah!

I knew it. Xeda and Trion are aliens too.

What are you talking about?

This woman that calls herself Kara, she's an alien visitor.

See, she's been in Venice for the last year,

and she's-- she's made quite a name for herself.

How do you know?

It's all over the internet.

She has her own web page.

She likes to swap erotic stories with other people.

Have you ever met her?

Actually, no.

OK, she claims to be an alien, and she's

running around Venice, swapping erotic stories with people?

I would think she would be at the top of your list of people

to meet.

She's very evasive.

And she's an alien.

It makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

Yeah, perfect sense.

Do you know where they went?

Nope.

Damn.

Come on.

Lester, what about the man in black who's following you?

Man in black?

What man in black?

This is what I have been trying to tell you.

This man who knows who we are.

Look, I think he's following us.

This could be bad.

This could be very bad.

What?

If they know, then we could be in big trouble.

- Who? - Come on.

I could-- I could page Kiki, if you want.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Kara might be here.

Is this on our list of coordinates?

Scanning.

Yes, here it is, the Neon Jungle.

A gentlemen's club.

And a lot more.

Kara likes to come here a lot.

She even gets up and dances on occasion.

Kara danced?

Boy, could she.

Would you excuse us for a moment.

We need to review our files and see if there's

any listing of Kara dancing. - Proceed.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

SONG: Watch me and I'll dance.

Now you'll see I may be your last chance.

Each time that I may confess, I'll give and then you'll take.

You'll take.

Let the beauty unfold, a moving grace, forcing

its will on all in this place.

As one body craves another to learn and explore,

stripping away the garment, bare to the core.

One body now and purely revealed,

standing naked in this world, her lips remain sealed.

For all to see, beauty behold, the power

when the soul is exposed.

Watch me and I'll dance.

Now you'll see I may be your last chance.

Each time that I may confess, I'll give and then you'll take.

I'll give.

Watch me now.

This might be your last chance.

I confess.

I confess. Watch me.

I may be your last chance.

I'll strip.

I'll dance for you.

Almost out of time.

Watch me and I'll dance.

Now you'll see I may be your last chance.

Each time that I may confess, I'll give and then you'll take.

I'll give.

Watch me.

How we touch.

I may be your last chance.

I think I'd like to examine this whole dance

phenomenon much closer.

Hey, Kiki, long time no see.

Hey, Cal, what's up?

You know, the same whole grind.

This is Kara's sister and brother.

Have you seen her around? - No, no.

She hasn't been in for weeks.

I miss her.

But I'll take care of you guys.

I'd like to see Xeda dance like this.

I don't think I'm that coordinated.

Excuse me for a moment.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, there are on the house.

Any friend of Kara's is a friend of mine.

Kara and I used to have some wild times together.

Can you show me how these wild times went?

[THEME MUSIC]

Wow, you're just like your sister.

Do you know where I might find her?

I don't know where she is.

We could try Virtual Encounters.

She worked there for a while.

Hey, Kara might be at a place called "Virtual Encounters."

Maybe I should stay here and examine

those females more closely.

I don't think that's a good idea.

We lost Kara, and I don't need to lose you.

Really?

I didn't know you cared.

I didn't know I cared either, until now.

You know something?

Existing in this body is changing the way I think.

Me too.

I'm very confused.

Hey, are we going to the VR Shop or not?

Lead the way.

Our readings are really in the red right now.

Lester, stop.

Look, I am not taking one more step until you

tell me what is going on.

Now, who is this man in black?

And why are you afraid of him?

He has the proof that we're on the right track.

This is a secret government agency

that handles alien encounters.

What they do is, they bring people in,

they search the place, make sure everything's OK.

They're very dangerous.

How dangerous?

Let's just say they have a way of erasing things.

Now, come on.

Into a strip club?

Our readings aren't wrong, OK?

[CRACKLING]

This is the place.

We're gonna scan the whole area.

I will not let 'em get away again.

You know, maybe I'll just have a seat right here

and keep my eye open for the man in black.

OK, sounds good.

How about a beer?

You got it.

[CRACKLING]

Nice place.

Beautiful woman, don't you think?

Look, don't erase me.

No one's getting erased.

What do you want?

Just enjoying the show.

Lester, he's harmless.

He has no idea what he's doing.

Oh, but he does.

We've had our eyes on him for some time now.

All right, look, I work for the press,

and I don't like any of this big government conspiracy bullshit.

Now, I have no idea what your agenda is,

but if you so much as lay a hand on Lester,

I will make it my life's mission to expose

whatever you've got going on.

Wow.

I didn't know you cared about Lester that much.

In fact, weren't you breaking up with him this morning?

Oh, god, how did you know that?

I know a lot of things you don't know what

or who you're dealing with here.

You wanna help Lester out?

That's fine.

The minute he finds what he's looking

for, you hit this remote.

We'll take care of the rest of it.

But--

It's the only way he can remain alive.

Oh, and by the way, don't share this with him.

He wouldn't understand.

He gets passionate about certain things.

But then, you'd know that.

My readings are all over the place.

I need to recalibrate all my scanners.

And I cannot do it here.

Lester.

Let's get outside in the light.

Lester.

I've lost my trail.

Look, I'm sorry, OK, but maybe it is for the best.

If I could find Kara, then I could find all three of them.

You looking for Kara too?

Yeah, have you seen her?

No, but her brother and sister were just here looking for her.

Why didn't you tell us?

Hey, you didn't ask.

Well, where did they go?

They went over to Virtual Encounters.

Let's go, let's go.

Oh, hey.

Welcome to Virtual Encounters.

Your one stop for all your virtual needs.

What's your fantasy?

I'd like you to dance for me.

Hey, wait a minute.

I said virtual reality, not reality reality.

If you want me to dance for you, you have to build a program.

Hey, we're looking for Kara.

Is she around?

Nope, I think she took off to Amsterdam or something.

You can never keep that girl in one place, you know?

Did she leave a forwarding number?

Nope, just some of her old programs.

- Programs? - Programs?

Yeah, programs.

Did you wanna see them?

She said anyone was welcome to use them.

You must show them to us at once.

All right, I love your enthusiasm.

Right this way.

Take a seat.

Kara had a big hand in upgrading this place.

The way she worked the computer, it was like she was

from outer space or something.

Good for her.

Yeah, she liked to call virtual reality

a sort of mind foreplay for the real thing, you know?

Foreplay, ah, yes.

We're quite familiar with where foreplay came from.

Right.

Well, this was one of her favorite programs.

You ready? - Ready.

Here goes.

COMPUTER: All systems ready.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So what did you think?

Pretty wild, huh?

That was incredible.

Can I have a turn?

Um, I think you might need a different program.

Make it so.

Kara could get a little cranky sometimes.

I hope you can take it.

I assure you, I can take it.

Here goes.

[BEEP]

[STARTING BELL CHIMES]

Once more.

Wow.

You really are related to Kara.

Let me just run out and check the front real quick, OK?

OK.

- All right, where are they? - Who?

The aliens. I know they're here.

Don't deny it. - Lester, calm down.

I will not calm down.

I've come this far.

They will not get away from me again.

Kara certainly left her mark on this world.

You could say that again.

Kara certainly left her mark on this world.

We should download these programs

and scan them with the help of Dak.

Hey, Kara used to talk about that Dak guy.

Was he some kind of guru?

You could say that.

Let's get back to Dak at once.

I gotta get back to work.

Let me know if you find Kara.

Tell her I owe her a massage.

Let's download these programs.

Now, this Kara, Xeda, and Trion, they're here,

aren't they?

Hey, Kiki.

These people are looking for your friends.

- Oh, they're in the back. - I knew it.

Let's go.

Hey!

Finished.

Let's go.

[TELEPORTATION SOUNDS]

Hey!

What the hell?

[CRACKLING]

I don't believe it. - Come on.

No, I don't. I don't believe it.

No time for that. We have to hurry.

- Where? - Where we started from.

[SIGH]

DAK: Welcome home.

How was your day?

Unsuccessful.

We couldn't find Kara, but we do have

her virtual reality programs.

Let's upload them now take a look at them.

Dak, uplink the programs and run them to their conclusion.

What is this place?

It makes no sense.

What are we supposed to do here?

KARA: Kiss each other.

Kara?

Kiss each other.

Go on.

Don't be shy.

Doesn't that feel wonderful?

Of all the sensations I found on this planet,

that simple act seems to be the most rewarding.

Where are we?

In another one of my virtual programs.

I had a feeling you guys would come looking for me,

so I designed this program to specially activate

when it was run through Dak's mainframe.

We've come to take you back to Alteria.

I can't go.

We must take you.

We have our orders.

I don't think you wanna do that.

But we have our orders.

No.

She's right.

I don't wanna go back.

Sometimes, you just have to say to hell with orders

and follow your heart.

What the hell.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

This is I've been missing--

you.

Now I know what hunger really is.

Look, shouldn't we call somebody?

You know, like the FBI or something?

Later. Come on.

Lester, I'm scared.

Now you're scared?

Look, that-- the man in black, he was at the club

and he said you were in danger.

He gave me this.

I am supposed to signal him whenever you find whatever

it is that you're looking for. - Terry.

Lester, he said it was the only way

to keep you out of danger.

It's all a scam.

Can't you see?

They want the aliens for themselves.

They're not gonna protect me.

Look, I don't wanna lose you.

I thought you were gonna break up with me.

Well, maybe I'm changing my mind.

What?

What, are you gonna argue with me?

Well, then, let's see this thing through to the end, then.

Let's do it.

- Hey. - How's it going.

On behalf of Planet Earth, greetings.

- Greetings yourself. - Uh.

What is it you wish?

We're just hanging out.

We think we're gonna stick around and check

out Earth for a while.

You're not gonna zap us, are you?

Don't be silly.

What about a probe?

No, we gave that up eons ago!

Say, will you dance for me?

We should take you to our leaders.

- Let's go for a swim first. - Yeah.

I don't believe this.

TERRY: Horny aliens from outer space.

What should we do?

DAK: I believe there is an old expression.

"When in Rome, do what the Romans do."

Come on, join us.

MAN IN BLACK: Not so fast.

Lester!

I know what you're up to, and you're

not gonna take them away!

I have no intention of doing that.

Agh, no! Ah!

What?

I'm sorry.

I-- I like chocolate.

It's one of my favorite pleasures.

Kara!

In the flesh.

Oh my god.

It's an honor to finally meet you.

Thank you.

But what were you doing following us,

and why did you tell me that Lester was in danger?

I'm sorry.

I was just having fun.

I thought I'd give you two an adventure,

give you a chance to see how you really felt about him.

You really love him, don't you?

Yes, but why all this, and who are you?

These are the aliens.

I told you, they like to have fun.

Ever since I've come to Earth, I've

been trying to make sure the right people stay together.

It's my little gift for all the pleasures

you humans have given me.

Can we stay?

Absolutely.

But what are we supposed to do?

Whatever you want.

We must document this day, so we get proof of your existence.

If you do that, it'll spoil all the fun.

DAK: Of course, no one will believe you.

Besides, with a simple command, I can

erase your short term memory.

You'll wake from sleep and not remember

one thing from this whole day.

Wait, wait.

Don't do that.

We can keep a secret.

We can?

Yes.

Lester, I don't wanna forget this day for anything.

We can't.

We must do this.

[BEEPING]

What the hell.

Let's leave them.

These humans, they just can't keep

their hands off each other.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I can track 'em with this.

MAN: Hold it in your other hand.

I can track 'em with this.

MAN: OK, the other.

The other hand.

I can track 'em with this.

We've come to--

I'm serious.

You should have seen this.

It's very important that we talk to her.

I'm sorry. - Sorry.

I don't.

She's very open about her, um, her--

If they know then, we could be in big trouble.

TERRY: Who?

Come on. MAN: Do it again.

You looked in the camera. Do it again.

And action.

If they know then, we could be in big trouble.

TERRY: Who?

Come on.

MAN: OK, I'm sorry.

You looked in the camera.

Don't look in the camera.

OK, go back to start.

No matter.

Collector 3879.

What are you doing?

MAN: And action.

If they know, then we could be in big trouble?

TERRY: Who? - I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

and Follow your heart.

She can't take my hand--

I'm sorry.

If they know, then we could be in big trouble.

TERRY: Who?

No, she's right.

Is, um, her-- so sorry.

Exactly.

MAN: It makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

OK, yeah.

It makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

TRION: We don't talk much on my planet.

We don't eat much on my planet.

MAN: Cut.

TRION: [SPEAKING GIBBERISH]