Original subtitles

Block.

Death never goes out of fashion.

Who are you?

lf I hadn't blocked you, you would be dead by now.

I'll save your life, but in exchange

I demand that you accept to become the leader of these bikers.

Where are they?

They're invisible.

You'll be able to talk to them

and they'll do everything you order them

and they'll never talk.

I accept.

I forgot to tell you

that you'll grow moustaches.

Trim them with love.

Unblock.

Good evening, dear TV-addicted.

Today, July 22nd 2022, the Earth knows a new hope.

For the past six months the terrestrial axis has been stuck,

creating two new hemispheres,

called the Sun Hemisphere and the Moon Hemisphere.

The consequences for human life have been disastrous,

but the internationally renowned scientist and researcher

Dr. Moreau seems to have found the solution

to the problem of the Planet's desertification.

The Earth is not one.

We only perceive it as one

because of a limitation of contemporary science.

In parallel reality,

Earth is double and mirrored,

and the phenomenon of

the axis jamming has equally happened there,

albeit in a diametrically opposite way.

In the mirror Earth

the exact same conditions apply

and according to the next interstellar sidereal conjunction

the possibility exists that the two planets will touch each other

and, I mean, implode,

destroying the state of mirroring that encompasses them.

At this point,

we could open the gate that I'm engineering

and transfer bodies from one planet to the other.

The inhabitants of the mirror planet

might connect to us

and, perhaps, save the Earth from desertification.

Do you reckon the aliens experience

the same desertification problems we have?

I don't think so.

They are a much more evolved species.

It was probably them who brought life as we know it to Earth.

I doubt they will need us at all.

If anything, it's us who should beg them for help.

This is why I'm trying to raise funds from all nations.

Unfortunately, so far nobody has taken me seriously.

Ten times condemned to life imprisonment,

guilty of multiple murders,

the biker Osso,

leader of the invisible rogue tribe that goes by the same name,

has fled after only five days in jail.

The authorities have given up hopes to recapture him.

The criminal, who has rejoined his gang,

is surely armed and dangerous.

We advise all those who see him or are suspicious

to call the hotline number on the screen.

In other news,

from crime to current affairs.

The national lottery jackpot

has remained steadily unconquered

for over ten years.

It seems that the numbers drawn time after time

are plagued with a curse.

Millions of players,

a constantly increasing number at every draw,

simply cannot hit

the right sequence.

The jackpot, we remind you,

now exceeds 690 million Euros.

We kindly invite you to keep playing.

The governments of the whole world thank you for that,

and renew their invitation to trust

your six fragrant numbers.

The time gate is a transductor of matter particles.

Everything that exists on a different planet in another dimension

can be transported and rematerialised

in the time-space dimension of the gate.

This means that matter is duplicated.

If destroyed on one planet,

it will keep existing on the other.

Oh, Dr. Moreau, this is awesome!

And is this true for human life as well...

for people

and aliens alike?

Well, I didn't get a chance to test this yet,

but I believe it should be possible.

The human body's made of matter and when solicited,

it behaves exactly like the rest of the matter we know.

It is so noble of you to do this for our Earth,

helping those who suffer

and the rest of mankind,

including the bad ones.

It's more than that.

Remember our ultimate secret goal,

the creation of a new,

super-powerful race that won't need an environment anymore,

but will find in its own matter

a source of nourishment and ultimately of life.

The whole research is aimed at the creation

of a superior race,

capable of self-regeneration.

Men and women who won't need to eat,

sleep and reproduce anymore.

Completely self-sufficient,

invincible cells,

that will elect me as their god,

like a modern Prometheus

who has given back to humanity a new inextinguishable flame!

Oh, you're so good, you're so clever!

Don't play dumb.

I'm talking to you.

Listen to me, useless human being.

You think you are the master of your own destiny,

but I am the one moving your thoughts

from inside this stupid body

I must use.

Bend your thought to mine.

Listen to me.

Listen to me.

Listen to me.

Dr. Moreau, I'm off. I'm tired.

It's ok, see you tomorrow.

All your assumptions were correct.

We can see you

and we have the technology to save your world,

and we can provide you with the means to open the gate,

which can only be opened from your planet.

In exchange we ask you for a female to impregnate.

Ours are sterile.

From this union, two identical reproducing females will be born,

which will carry the necessary genes

to save our world and yours.

You have been chosen first

because you are the only one who guessed

the dimensional gate.

Now I will write on your body

the numbers of the sequence you call lottery,

a number sequence that we've been manipulating for years,

in view of this moment.

My little Osso, you know I missed you a lot?

I missed your little tits, too.

Just my tits?

your hairy potato, too.

Oh, come on, tell me something nice for once.

Your hair is the softest in the world.

Oh, you are so kind.

Sorry...

but does this imply you've seen other hair?.

you know I've only seen yours.

Don't lie to me.

Your hair

is the freshest

and wettest

and tastier

and nicer.

I love you, Osso.

What are you up to, with that asshole of Dr. Moreau?.

He's not an asshole.

He's a great scientist

and his ideas will change the world.

He's creating with the help of aliens a new and perfect race.

He's creating a door to make them come to Earth

and save humanity from desertification.

I would know what to make of aliens.

An indestructible race of bikers

that will be capable of enslaving all the idiots

that ride the sacred asphalted roads.

Tell your doctor

I would know what to make of his ideas.

Then, my dear, why don't you talk to him?

You're right, my love,

I should talk to him.

You are a bunch of idiots.

I had to manage by myself to get out of jail.

As usual.

I don't even want to know what you were doing.

Bikers,

I'm telling you

that today is a new day.

If what I heard is true,

a new race of humans will soon run these roads

and we'll be with them

and they will be us,

and we'll be us,

and we'll live forever

in the teeth of those suckers who want us dead.

Anubi be thanked

for His generosity.

Let's go and wreak havoc, bikers!

We won't have to worry about money anymore!

I dreamt of aliens who gave me

the six-number combination to win the national lottery!

Oh, but that's awesome!

Finally I'll be able to realise my dream,

and you will help me!

Yes. I want to stay forever by your side, Doctor.

Do I not deserve a prize?

I really think so!

Let me smell the Hair of Heaven.

Sniff me.

Sniff me.

Sniff me.

Sniff me.

Sniff me.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

Wait, we are adjusting it.

It doesn't work.

Wait, we are adjusting it.

It doesn't work.

Now it works.

Ok, now it's working.

Earthlings,

greetings from the inhabitants of Arret.

I've come in peace.

My task is to impregnate a female

by injecting my alien semen in her vagina.

Are you then the female to impregnate?

Me? What is he talking about?

Forgive her, Mister Alien, she's just a little shy,

but she can't wait to be impregnated by the alien semen. Right?

Come on, don't be shy.

Actually, I've never seen an alien member before.

Great. The female to impregnate is this lady here.

Female, strip.

You are an excessively hairy female,

you look like a monkey.

It is necessary to get rid of all that hair.

What? My hair?

The softest hair in the world?

The Hair of Heaven?

No way!

My dear, surely your hair remains

the most fragrant and soft in the world.

It's just that our Mr. Alien here doesn't appreciate it.

What's the harm in shaving it?

Everybody loves me for my hair.

If I shave it, nobody will want me anymore.

How rude of him!

He can go find himself another female to impregnate.

My love, do it for science,

think of the people who will be saved, thanks to your shaved hair.

The whole Earth

will thank and worship

the holy perfumed hair of your potato.

Really?

Of course. We will put it under spirit and it will become a relic.

All peoples and nations of the Earth

will come to your sanctuary to worship the hair.

You will become the most coveted woman on Earth.

And besides,

we can always synthesize something to make it grow faster.

Hmm, ok.

I'll go shave it then.

You just wait here.

My apologies, Mr. Alien, it's a matter of minutes.

I have no time to waste. I must impregnate.

You see, on our planet, hair is very important.

It strikes me as unusual that you do not appreciate it.

Her hair, in particular, is especially precious.

The wild scent,

the roundness of its taste.

its sour and solid flavor

makes it a delicacy,

a fine specialty for connoisseurs.

Hair caused many wars on our planet.

Why is that, if I may ask?

All our ancestors loved it unreasonably,

and they competed for it with blood, wars and genocides.

Until the day of the Great Hair Cleansing.

The father of our present ruler

declared each and every hair-gland illegal.

Now our life has changed for the best.

I'm surprised that you are still so backward

to feel the need for it.

Oh, it's so informative to talk to an alien.

Is the impregnating machine ready?

Yes, we only need your semen.

Please bear with me a few minutes,

while I check if my assistant is ready.

I'm going back to our host,

you can finish off.

Please, be quick.

Female, do not fear.

You body will not suffer any damage.

You will become an important female.

Everybody will come to honor you.

Bear this little pain

that will take you above the world you know.

Your body will change.

You will acquire new powers,

you will become the mother of creatures

that will save our two planets.

Your courage will be acknowledged in all the galaxies.

The one and only female on Earth

to be impregnated by our holy alien semen.

Go away, I don't want that. Go away.

I don't want that. Go away. I don't want that.

The semen is loaded,

we can start.

Go away, I don't want that. I don't want that.

The female must stand still in that position for 24 hours.

That's crucial to allow the semen to flow upstream

and nest inside her body.

The 24 hours are crucial for the semen to settle

and stabilise inside her body.

My task here is accomplished.

I will be back to Earth just before the female delivers.

How can I contact you, Mr. Alien,

in case I needed any help from you?

Don't worry. If need be, I will come back.

It's not what you think.

I only love you.

I know. I heard everything.

The hair that you loved so much is gone.

It's ok, now you've got something more important.

I only love you.

I love you too.

Cover up, you disgust me,

filthy rotten bitch.

Bikers,

the time has come to take our revenge.

Anubi...

has given us a new race of men on wheels,

genetically combined with aliens,

who will dominate the Earth.

Bikers,

this woman has been impregnated by alien seed.

Inside her lies our future.

Hmm... Something's happening.

The impregnated woman has disappeared.

You just wait until the alien comes back.

That damned rabid dog!

Updates?

The female has been impregnated,

the invasion of planet Earth is now being arranged.

It's only 23 hours to the complete ignition of the soft machine.

-Life parameters? -Confirmed.

-Virus activation? -Confirmed.

-Position of the host body? -Confirmed.

The fuck it's confirmed!

I've just received a report according to which

the body is no longer in Dr. Moreau's office.

The female has disappeared

and the impregnation is not completed.

What's more, she's now been exposed to the semen,

and you know very well what can happen.

That's impossible.

If you want to go home,

make sure the female is impregnated.

I'll switch you off for punishment till tomorrow morning.

Dear TV-addicted, good evening.

Today, 23rd July 2022,

the news we've been long awaiting has finally arrived.

Dr. Moreau has managed to activate the gate

and an alien has been able to land on our planet.

The transfer of the alien has worked out perfectly

and the visitor has spoken at length with Dr. Moreau,

explaining to him the procedures

for the unjamming of the terrestrial axis.

The alien visitor has impregnated the human female.

The procedure has worked out fine.

Those who thought that the parallel planet

would have represented a menace for us

have been definitely proven wrong.

The alien visitor has discussed with me for a long time

and has reasserted his good intentions.

We have nothing to fear.

They are our friends,

they will help us and we will help them.

Damn, she's turned into rabid dog!

We must destroy her immediately.

Hey guys, good afternoon.

While the assistant has fully awakened to her femininity,

and she's now slaughtering Osso's bikers,

Osso is sleeping.

But maybe he's hearing something.

It's really you.

How nice to see you again.

I was worried sick about you.

We must repeat the experiment asap.

How lucky that I found you.

Come on, my dear, get back in position,

we must repeat the impregnation,

you'll see that Mr. Alien will soon be here too.

What?

After the virus has penetrated,

nonspecific symptoms can be detected.

such as fever, headache, myalgia.

During the course of incubation.

hydrophobia is frequent,

with a painful larynx spasm

caused by the rejection of liquids.

The terminal phase has a furious outburst,

with aggressiveness, irascibility, loss of orientation,

hallucinations, hyperesthesia, meningitis, increased salivation.

symptoms of lobotomisation, catatonia, dumbness,

and partial paralysis of the vocal cords.

However, the emergence of specific symptoms

after the latency phase coincides,

practically always, with an poor prognosis for this pathology,

which leads to death in a variable,

but certain, timeframe.

Stay put,

I must repeat the experiment.

My planet's army is ready to invade the Earth.

Updates?

The invasion must be postponed.

That asshole of an impregnator is dead.

Send a new impregnator over.

Kill the rabid dog.

Prepare the troops for immediate invasion of the planet.

Access to the soft machine available immediately.

Will do.

I'm still hungry, guys!