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1
00:00:46,550 --> 00:00:47,930
Pretty nice up here,
isn't it?
2
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,440
- Kermit?
- Huh?
3
00:00:50,930 --> 00:00:52,430
What if we drift out to sea?
4
00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:55,770
What if we're never
heard from again?
5
00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,520
What if there's a storm?
6
00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,070
Or we get struck by lightning?
7
00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:01,360
That'd be neat.
8
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:04,070
Listen, nothing's gonna happen.
9
00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:05,450
This is just the opening credits.
10
00:01:05,530 --> 00:01:07,700
Oh. Where are they?
11
00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:10,740
Wow!
12
00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:13,710
"The Great Muppet Caper."
13
00:01:14,290 --> 00:01:15,460
Nice title.
14
00:01:17,460 --> 00:01:18,580
Whoo-wee!
15
00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:21,130
I'd like to try this
without the balloon.
16
00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:24,590
- Try what? Plummeting?
- Yeah!
17
00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:26,470
I suppose you could try it once.
18
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,130
- Kermit?
- Mmm?
19
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,640
How long are these opening credits?
20
00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,140
Just about another minute or so.
21
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,110
My ears are popping.
22
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,530
I wonder how far you
could plummet before you blacked out.
23
00:01:42,110 --> 00:01:45,410
Well, don't try it, Gonzo.
We need you for this movie.
24
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,080
Sure is tempting.
25
00:01:51,990 --> 00:01:53,080
- Kermit?
- Huh?
26
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,710
What does "BSC" stand for?
27
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:57,170
I don't know.
28
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,220
Gee, a lot of people
worked on this movie.
29
00:02:05,670 --> 00:02:07,420
Huh. This is nothing.
30
00:02:07,510 --> 00:02:09,260
Wait till you see the end credits.
31
00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:19,520
- Kermit?
- Mmm?
32
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,070
Are the credits over?
33
00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:22,860
Uh, not quite.
34
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,620
Nobody reads those
names anyway, do they?
35
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:30,040
Sure.
They all have families.
36
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,240
Ah.
37
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,620
That's it.
The sky is clear.
38
00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:35,750
So, okay.
39
00:02:35,830 --> 00:02:38,620
Well, now what do we do?
I mean, how does this movie start?
40
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,500
- Well, we just pull that rope.
- Yes, sir!
41
00:02:46,090 --> 00:02:48,210
Ooh, we're going down!
42
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,340
Heads up, below!
43
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,740
What a fantastic beginning.
44
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,730
Wow!
45
00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:13,200
There'll be spectacle
There'll be fantasy
46
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,580
There'll be derring-do
47
00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:16,780
And stuff like you would never see
48
00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:17,990
Hey, a movie
49
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,450
Yeah, we're gonna be a movie
50
00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:23,540
- Starring everybody
- And me
51
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:27,050
There'll be heroes bold
There'll be comedy
52
00:03:27,130 --> 00:03:30,550
And a lot of fuss
That ends for us real happily
53
00:03:30,630 --> 00:03:32,010
Hey, a movie
54
00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:34,340
We can watch it all develop
55
00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:36,430
Starring everybody
56
00:03:36,510 --> 00:03:37,600
And me
57
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,060
We'll take the world
And set it on its ear
58
00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:45,240
Come on, join in
We're gonna start right here
59
00:03:49,650 --> 00:03:51,490
It's okay.
I landed on my head.
60
00:03:51,570 --> 00:03:53,440
Come on!
61
00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:55,280
Oh. Here, chicken!
62
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,750
Hey! Why, you...
63
00:03:58,820 --> 00:03:59,950
Whoa!
64
00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:02,830
Hold it!
65
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:05,670
Go ahead, Kermit.
66
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,050
Thank you. See, in this film,
67
00:04:08,130 --> 00:04:11,800
me and Fozzie play crack investigative
reporters for The Daily Chronicle.
68
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,130
And Gonzo, he's our photographer.
And it's gonna be terrific.
69
00:04:17,430 --> 00:04:20,270
Boy, I wish I were you people,
seeing this for the first time.
70
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,190
There'll be crooks and cops
71
00:04:26,270 --> 00:04:27,900
There'll be villainy
72
00:04:27,980 --> 00:04:31,450
But with us on call
We'll fix it all real easily
73
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,400
Hey, a movie
74
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,280
Wow, it's gonna be terrific
75
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,030
Starring everybody
76
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,210
And me.
77
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,200
Argh!
78
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,660
Now, what we need, guys,
is an exciting photo story.
79
00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:46,710
Right this way, young lady.
80
00:04:46,790 --> 00:04:48,380
I'll take a picture of this chicken.
81
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,000
Beautiful.
82
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,210
- That's great, Gonzo.
- Yeah. Smile, chicky babe.
83
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,770
My jewels!
84
00:05:01,850 --> 00:05:03,770
That man stole my jewels!
85
00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:05,850
Help! My jewels!
86
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:17,740
Look up. Hey, do you wanna make
the front pages or not?
87
00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:20,530
Kermit, I got a great picture
of the chicken.
88
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:21,620
Oh, good.
89
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:25,200
There'll be mystery
and catastrophe
90
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:29,130
But it's all in fun
You paid the money, wait and see
91
00:05:29,210 --> 00:05:31,080
Hey, a movie
92
00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:32,840
ls there any way to stop it?
93
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,090
Starring everybody
94
00:05:35,170 --> 00:05:36,720
Everybody
95
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,220
Everybody and...
96
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,970
Oh...
97
00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:44,390
Me
98
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:54,730
How could you miss a story like that?
99
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,570
it was right under your noses,
100
00:05:57,650 --> 00:05:59,500
practically bit you
on the seat of the pants.
101
00:05:59,570 --> 00:06:00,820
There's just no excuse.
102
00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:04,280
I guess this would be the wrong time
to ask for a raise?
103
00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:07,380
Raise? A raise?
104
00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:11,040
I'll give you a raise!
105
00:06:11,670 --> 00:06:14,420
Did you read these headlines? Huh?
106
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:16,970
"Jewel heist on Main Street."
107
00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:18,720
And it's nice bold print,
isn't it?
108
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,180
- Yes, it's very easy to read.
- Mmm.
109
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,010
Shut up now.
110
00:06:23,090 --> 00:06:24,100
Sorry.
111
00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:27,430
"Lady Holiday's Jewels Stolen,"
that's what it says in The Times.
112
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,890
And here's The Herald.
113
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,860
"Fashion Queen of London Robbed."
114
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,060
And last but not least...
115
00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:39,110
...here's our cute little banner story.
116
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:42,660
"Identical Twins
join The Chronicle staff."
117
00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:45,330
Now, I ask you,
what paper would you buy?
118
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:48,290
I read the one that has "Dear Abby."
119
00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:54,630
Gee, Mr. Tarkanian.
120
00:06:54,710 --> 00:06:56,710
We thought identical twins
working on a newspaper
121
00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:59,050
- would make an interesting story.
- Yeah.
122
00:06:59,130 --> 00:07:00,470
Well, it doesn't.
123
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:03,270
Especially since you two guys
don't look anything alike.
124
00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:07,060
Well, that's 'cause Fozzie's
not wearing his hat.
125
00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:10,980
- Oh, Fozzie, put your hat back on.
- Oh. Yes, sir. See?
126
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,400
Oh, yeah.
127
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:15,780
I can see it now.
128
00:07:15,860 --> 00:07:18,110
But that's still no excuse
for blowing a story.
129
00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:20,070
Oh, we'll do better next time.
130
00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:22,280
Next time? Next time?
131
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,490
What makes you think
there's gonna be a next time?
132
00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:27,040
Well, if there isn't it's gonna
be a real short movie.
133
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,870
Look, the only reason
I hired you two jerks
134
00:07:28,950 --> 00:07:31,120
was because your old man
was a friend of mine.
135
00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:34,370
Dad spoke well of you, too.
136
00:07:34,460 --> 00:07:36,380
Well, I'm as sentimental
as the next guy.
137
00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:38,760
That's why I don't
want him to hear this.
138
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:39,960
You're fired.
139
00:07:41,340 --> 00:07:43,140
Take that thing down off the ceiling.
140
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:45,090
Yeah, but, Mr. Tarkanian...
141
00:07:45,180 --> 00:07:48,020
- Gonzo.
- Check. Whoo-wee!
142
00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:49,520
Won't you listen to reason, sir?
143
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,820
I'm not listening to anything
and I'm not giving you your job back.
144
00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:54,610
I don't want you to give us anything.
145
00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:56,860
We just want to go to England
and talk to Lady Holiday
146
00:07:56,940 --> 00:07:58,190
the woman who was robbed?
147
00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,370
And we'll catch
those jewel thieves for you.
148
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,940
You see, all you have to do is
pay our way to London.
149
00:08:03,030 --> 00:08:05,660
Oh! Is that all I have to do?
150
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,040
Well, we could use some
new luggage for the trip.
151
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,290
Luggage?
152
00:08:10,450 --> 00:08:12,670
Now look, beat it.
I got a deadline to meet.
153
00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:14,540
But how are we gonna get to London?
154
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:15,870
I'll tell you what, Fozzie,
155
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,180
since you're such an investigative
reporter, you figure it out.
156
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:20,920
I'm Fozzie.
157
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,260
Oh, yeah, yeah. The hat.
158
00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:29,720
Stop the presses!
159
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,060
Why? What happened?
160
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,190
I don't know.
I've always wanted to say that.
161
00:08:35,270 --> 00:08:36,740
Look, you guys...
162
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,240
Oh, boy.
163
00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:54,920
It must be 50 below in here.
164
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,710
You're lucky, you have fur.
165
00:08:57,790 --> 00:08:59,210
No, no, no.
You're the one with the fur.
166
00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:00,920
Turn on your light
and see for yourself.
167
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,220
Oh, yeah!
168
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:06,970
I keep mixing us up.
169
00:09:08,510 --> 00:09:10,180
I think I'll read for a while.
170
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:15,650
- Oh, I wish I had a book.
- Hey, Kermit?
171
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,690
Can you reach the hostess call button?
I'm hungry.
172
00:09:18,770 --> 00:09:21,860
They don't serve food in ninth class.
173
00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:25,110
What?
$12 and you don't even get a meal?
174
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,410
Hey,
could you guys keep it down?
175
00:09:27,490 --> 00:09:29,410
I'm trying to watch the movie.
176
00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:33,500
Hey, somebody's coming.
177
00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:35,330
Oh, maybe they're bringing
hamburgers.
178
00:09:35,410 --> 00:09:37,040
All out for England!
179
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,000
Oh, great, the plane is landing.
180
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:40,550
The plane?
181
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:43,300
Nah. The plane lands in Italy.
182
00:09:43,590 --> 00:09:44,960
You land in England.
183
00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:46,720
Whoa!
184
00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:49,470
Kermit!
185
00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:53,220
What's happening?
186
00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:56,680
Whoopee!
187
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:02,530
Geronimo!
188
00:10:10,570 --> 00:10:11,570
Glug!
189
00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:13,580
For once the forecast was right.
190
00:10:13,660 --> 00:10:16,410
It said it was going
to rain cats and dogs.
191
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,870
No, no. We're bears and frogs.
192
00:10:18,950 --> 00:10:20,050
And Gonzos.
193
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,970
Whatever you are, whoever you are,
welcome to Great Britain.
194
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,590
Great Britain?
We're actually in Great Britain!
195
00:10:26,670 --> 00:10:29,800
Oh, no, we'll never get to England now.
196
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,480
You are in England,
my furry friend.
197
00:10:32,550 --> 00:10:36,230
This sceptered isle.
This jewel of the North Atlantic.
198
00:10:36,310 --> 00:10:38,230
Oh, good.
Well, we're going to London
199
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:41,110
and we were wondering if you
could recommend a nice hotel.
200
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:44,030
- Actually, a cheap hotel.
- How cheap?
201
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:45,360
Free.
202
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,410
That narrows the field a bit.
203
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:49,530
Let's see.
204
00:10:49,610 --> 00:10:53,110
"Places where you can park
your carcasses."
205
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,000
Bus terminals. River banks.
206
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,250
The Happiness Hotel.
207
00:10:57,330 --> 00:10:59,670
Happiness Hotel? That sounds great.
208
00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:01,710
What's wrong with bus terminals?
209
00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:05,380
Well, thanks a lot for your help, sir.
210
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,980
Hey, guys, this is London.
211
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,810
Yeah, London! We made it!
Oh, boy!
212
00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:21,020
- Is that the Eiffel Tower?
- Yeah!
213
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:23,070
- No.
- No, no.
214
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,780
- Hey, Kermit?
- Yeah?
215
00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:28,820
- Are bears allowed in those fountains?
- What?
216
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:30,740
Are bears allowed in those fountains?
217
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,990
- No, I don't think so.
- I need a bath.
218
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,790
This is terrific.
219
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:37,540
Wow, look at the scenery.
220
00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:40,170
It's very realistic.
221
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,080
- Hey, what's the name of this river?
- I don't know.
222
00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:45,380
I think it's the English River.
223
00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:46,630
Oh.
224
00:11:46,710 --> 00:11:48,380
I'll take a picture of it.
225
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,800
Say cheese!
226
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,760
Oh, did I get
my elbow in the shot?
227
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,970
Don't worry.
it adds human interest.
228
00:11:55,050 --> 00:11:56,180
But I'm a bear.
229
00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:58,230
Anyone for the Happiness Hotel?
230
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,350
Huh?
231
00:11:59,430 --> 00:12:01,430
- Oh, Happiness Hotel!
- That's us!
232
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,780
- Yes, we want the Happiness Hotel.
- Yeah.
233
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,160
Argh!
234
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:10,780
Wow.
235
00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:15,250
Boy, another crash landing.
That was terrible.
236
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,790
Well, we'll just have to do it again.
237
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:20,460
Oh, look.
The Happiness Hotel.
238
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:22,210
What do you think, guys?
239
00:12:22,290 --> 00:12:23,250
Wow.
240
00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:25,050
If that's the Happiness Hotel,
241
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,000
I'd hate to see
what the sad one looks like.
242
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:43,900
Excuse me?
243
00:12:44,020 --> 00:12:45,230
What?
244
00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:46,940
We'd like a room.
245
00:12:47,730 --> 00:12:49,150
Really?
246
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,490
Yeah, we'd like to check in.
247
00:12:52,650 --> 00:12:54,450
Somebody's checking in!
248
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,960
Somebody's checking in?
249
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,250
Oh, there's no fire in the fireplace
250
00:13:03,330 --> 00:13:05,050
There's no carpet on the floor
251
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,840
Don't try to order dinner
252
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:08,760
There's no kitchen anymore
253
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,630
But if the road's been kinda bumpy
254
00:13:10,710 --> 00:13:12,050
And you need to rest a spell
255
00:13:12,130 --> 00:13:15,510
Well, welcome home
To the Happiness Hotel
256
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:24,720
- Hey, how are you guys fixing to pay?
- What are our choices?
257
00:13:24,810 --> 00:13:27,780
A, credit card. B, cash.
258
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:30,480
C, sneak out
in the middle of the night.
259
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,240
We'll take C.
260
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,120
Very popular choice.
261
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,330
If you got luggage keep it handy
262
00:13:40,410 --> 00:13:42,000
But you're running out of luck
263
00:13:42,070 --> 00:13:44,250
'Cause the bellhops
Ain't too organized
264
00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:45,950
And the elevator's stuck
265
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,630
Still if you don't mind friendly animals
266
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:48,960
And can learn to stand the smell
267
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,540
Well, welcome home
To the Happiness Hotel
268
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,060
You know, I may be mistaken,
but the bellhops look like rats.
269
00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:03,980
You should see the chambermaids.
270
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,530
- Welcome home
- Welcome home
271
00:14:18,610 --> 00:14:20,240
- Welcome home
- Welcome home
272
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,990
No matter where you wander
273
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,920
You will never do as well
274
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,170
Okay, the lobby's looking shabby
275
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:32,340
And it's got the wrong address
276
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:35,040
And the whole dang thing
Has been condemned
277
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:36,550
by American Express
278
00:14:36,630 --> 00:14:38,510
Still the management is cheerful
279
00:14:38,590 --> 00:14:39,840
Though the whole joint's gone to hell
280
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,600
Well, welcome home
To the Happiness Hotel
281
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,860
- You guys live here?
- Yeah, but only between gigs.
282
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:51,690
So that means we've been here
this time, what, five years?
283
00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:53,860
Oh, yeah, but, like,
okay, you know,
284
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,030
our agent, you know, like,
he says, I mean, like,
285
00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:59,580
things are really going to break
as soon as we get our new glossies.
286
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:01,490
Argh!
287
00:15:02,650 --> 00:15:04,700
What's wrong with the drummer?
He looks a little crazed.
288
00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,280
Aw, he's just upset about missing
289
00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:08,620
the Rembrandt exhibit
at the National Gallery.
290
00:15:08,910 --> 00:15:09,910
Renoir!
291
00:15:49,410 --> 00:15:51,380
- Oh, there are bugs
- There are bugs
292
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,250
- And there are lice
- There are lice
293
00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:55,000
Sure, we have our little problems
294
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,930
But you'll never beat the price
295
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,420
You got every kind of critter
296
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,600
You got every kind of pest
297
00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:02,670
But we treat 'em all as equals
298
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,630
Just like any other guest
299
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,430
Though you're cleaner
than the others
300
00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:07,640
Still, as far as we can tell
301
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:11,270
You'll fit right in to the
Happiness Hotel
302
00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:13,270
We'll fit right in
303
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,700
To the Happiness Hotel
304
00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:17,770
Say cheese!
305
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,530
You are all weirdos.
306
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,070
Ugh.
307
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,410
Oh, that's just fine right there.
308
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:34,830
Thank you.
309
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,180
Hey, not bad.
310
00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:41,680
Are you sure we can
afford this?
311
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,720
Hey, Kermit,
I'm getting hungry.
312
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,130
- Call room service.
- There's no phone.
313
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:49,020
That's okay.
There's no food either.
314
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:50,390
Come on, Rizzo.
315
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,350
Look, why don't we forget about food
and get a good night's sleep?
316
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,780
We have to get up early
to interview Lady Holiday.
317
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,150
Mmm.
318
00:16:58,230 --> 00:17:00,110
Boy,
I sure could use something
319
00:17:00,190 --> 00:17:02,570
from one or more
of the basic food groups.
320
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,280
We'll have breakfast
in the morning.
321
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:06,740
Right now, let's just be
thankful we're here.
322
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:11,620
Say, this is nice.
323
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,540
Can somebody
turn out the light?
324
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,210
Thank you.
325
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,040
This is Lady Holiday.
326
00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:24,680
Milan speaking?
Then put him on.
327
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,180
Oh, yes, darling.
Yes, I'm fine.
328
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:30,730
I had quite a scare.
Thank God I wasn't hurt.
329
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:33,390
Of course my diamonds were valuable.
330
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,900
All my diamonds are valuable.
331
00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:38,690
Now, darling, I want you to call
the United States and tell Vogue
332
00:17:38,770 --> 00:17:41,490
they can't have the photographs
of the spring line until after the show.
333
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,660
I'm not too happy
with some of the designs.
334
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,160
Still have to make some changes.
335
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,210
Well, I'm looking
at three of the gowns now
336
00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:57,460
and I can see horrendous mistakes.
337
00:17:57,540 --> 00:17:59,880
Of course Paris should be notified.
338
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:03,210
Carla. The neckline on that gown
is too high, don't you think?
339
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,510
- I rather like the effect.
- Do you like looking like an ostrich?
340
00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:07,970
- Of course not.
- And Marla.
341
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,720
Too many frills and furbelows.
342
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:13,400
I don't think we should strive
for the fantail pigeon look, do you?
343
00:18:13,470 --> 00:18:15,140
And you, Darla.
344
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:17,190
That outfit's the pits.
345
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,390
Loose where it should be tight
and tight where it should be loose,
346
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,690
like the folds on a turkey's neck.
347
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:23,520
Why would I design such
atrocious-looking clothes?
348
00:18:23,610 --> 00:18:24,780
Oh!
349
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,280
I must be getting senile.
350
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,150
Yes, Lady Holiday?
351
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:30,610
We have to make drastic changes
352
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:32,120
in the new line
before the show tomorrow.
353
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,830
All my girls are going around
looking like barnyard animals.
354
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,840
Good heavens. Who are you?
355
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:46,800
My name is Miss Piggy
356
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:50,380
and I would like to be
a high-fashion model.
357
00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:53,470
Doesn't surprise me.
358
00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,270
Seems to be the way we're heading.
359
00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:59,320
I've always dreamed
of being a Holiday model.
360
00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:01,310
I have brought my je ne sais quoi
361
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,070
and my portfolio
all the way here to London
362
00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:08,070
to see you, the one and only
Lady Holiday.
363
00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:12,080
- May I come in?
- Absolutely not.
364
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:15,120
- May I show you my portfolio?
- No.
365
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,290
Good. Here.
366
00:19:16,370 --> 00:19:17,710
You may open it.
367
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,540
Ah. This is me reeking grandeur.
368
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,750
Being aloof.
369
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,540
Being demure.
370
00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:30,010
Ah. Daring.
371
00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:32,970
Interesting range of emotions.
372
00:19:33,050 --> 00:19:34,470
Oh, you think so?
373
00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:37,350
Well, as you can see
from this small sampling,
374
00:19:37,430 --> 00:19:39,150
modeling is my life.
375
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:42,150
It is my destiny.
I shall accept nothing less.
376
00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:44,070
I can offer you a job as a receptionist.
377
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,030
I'll take it! I'll take it!
378
00:19:47,110 --> 00:19:49,280
Oh, thank you, thank you!
Thank you!
379
00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:51,490
Oh! Oh! Oh!
380
00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:54,200
You won't be sorry,
I promise. I can type,
381
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:57,080
I can take shorthand,
I can make coffee.
382
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,410
- Oh, I can do it all.
- Sit.
383
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:02,090
I can sit.
I'm very good at sitting.
384
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,090
Are you quite under control?
385
00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:06,000
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm!
386
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,970
Now, I'll be lunching
with my brother Nicky.
387
00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:13,470
He's second in command here
and he's an irresponsible parasite.
388
00:20:13,550 --> 00:20:15,300
But I had to bring him into the business
389
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,350
because he squandered
his half of the inheritance
390
00:20:17,430 --> 00:20:19,980
and he has categorically no prospects.
391
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:21,020
Not that he's grateful.
392
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,190
He still gambles and incurs bad debts,
393
00:20:23,270 --> 00:20:25,190
uses my charge accounts, eats my food
394
00:20:25,270 --> 00:20:27,770
and borrows my cars
without asking permission.
395
00:20:27,850 --> 00:20:30,860
And certainly he's not to be trusted.
396
00:20:30,940 --> 00:20:32,360
I wouldn't even put it past him
397
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,370
to try to steal my most valuable
and largest jewel,
398
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,700
the fabulous Baseball Diamond.
399
00:20:36,780 --> 00:20:40,710
And I don't know why his bow ties
are always crooked.
400
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:43,330
Still, in all, he is my brother.
401
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,710
Why are you telling me all this?
402
00:20:45,790 --> 00:20:47,920
It's plot exposition.
it has to go somewhere.
403
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,050
Anyway, I want you to answer
the telephone while I'm gone
404
00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:53,220
and, um, straighten up the office.
405
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:55,470
Consider it done. Mmm. Oh.
406
00:20:56,420 --> 00:20:59,300
- Everything's under control.
- Not to sweat.
407
00:21:00,180 --> 00:21:02,310
Carry on.
I'll be back in an hour.
408
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:05,820
Whee!
409
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,070
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!
410
00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:11,940
Oh, lam going to be a famous model.
Oh, I'm so happy for me.
411
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:16,150
Miss Piggy, you are on your way.
412
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,040
Where does Lady Holiday get off
calling me an ostrich?
413
00:21:19,110 --> 00:21:21,160
We'll get even
with Lady Holiday tonight
414
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,460
when we steal her necklace.
415
00:21:22,530 --> 00:21:24,380
What are you going to wear
for the robbery?
416
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,420
Shh.
417
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:28,750
Hi.
418
00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:30,050
Hi. Hello.
419
00:21:30,670 --> 00:21:32,090
Hubba hubba!
420
00:21:32,590 --> 00:21:34,880
Uh, excuse me,
where's Lady Holiday's office?
421
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,890
- Round the corner, to the left.
- Oh. Thank you.
422
00:21:37,970 --> 00:21:40,440
- Did you just give directions to a frog?
- I guess I did.
423
00:21:40,510 --> 00:21:41,640
Smile.
424
00:21:42,350 --> 00:21:44,850
Is that a new photographer?
425
00:21:45,850 --> 00:21:48,230
Ugh.
426
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:49,850
I think I'm stuck.
427
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,990
Gonzo? Gonzo!
428
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,570
Gonzo. Gonzo.
429
00:21:54,650 --> 00:21:56,030
Pull.
430
00:21:59,030 --> 00:22:00,660
Gonzo, are you okay?
431
00:22:00,740 --> 00:22:03,160
Oh, sure. it was just my nose.
432
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,410
Hey, you guys stay here.
I'll find Lady Holiday.
433
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:06,490
Yes, sir.
434
00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:10,330
Hey, Fozzie. Come on,
get your nose in here. It's really fun.
435
00:22:16,630 --> 00:22:20,430
Mr. Holiday? Did you order
a gross of flowered socks?
436
00:22:20,510 --> 00:22:23,980
Oh! What an honor.
You're all so wonderful.
437
00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:27,780
Thank you for choosing moi
as model of the year.
438
00:22:27,850 --> 00:22:31,980
Oh! I never dreamed
when I first began in this business
439
00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:34,860
that I would reach such lofty heights.
440
00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:36,860
Thank you! Thank you!
441
00:22:36,980 --> 00:22:38,610
Uh, excuse me.
442
00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:44,500
So, what do you think
about the drapes, hmm?
443
00:22:44,570 --> 00:22:47,670
Personally,
I'd rather see shutters. Yes.
444
00:22:47,740 --> 00:22:49,540
And on this wall here...
445
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:06,270
Lady Holiday?
446
00:23:08,260 --> 00:23:09,980
Lady Holiday?
447
00:23:22,490 --> 00:23:24,410
Gee, are you okay?
448
00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:28,040
I don't think I'll ever be the same.
449
00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:29,460
Pardon?
450
00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:33,330
Oh. I mean,
I don't usually fall like that.
451
00:23:33,420 --> 00:23:35,290
I thought it was a very nice fall.
452
00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:37,000
It was quite graceful, actually.
453
00:23:37,090 --> 00:23:40,810
Oh, thank you, whoever you are.
454
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:44,430
My name is Kermit the Frog
and I've come all the way from America
455
00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:46,760
to interview you for
The Daily Chronicle.
456
00:23:47,470 --> 00:23:49,720
Me? Why me?
457
00:23:49,810 --> 00:23:51,730
Oh, because you're Lady Holiday.
458
00:23:53,180 --> 00:23:54,230
Oh.
459
00:23:54,310 --> 00:23:57,660
- Oh. Yeah, right.
- Reason enough.
460
00:23:58,150 --> 00:23:59,270
Urn...
461
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:01,660
You wanna help me
out of this wastebasket?
462
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,080
- Oh, yeah.
- Now just pull.
463
00:24:04,150 --> 00:24:05,620
Okay.
464
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,280
- Harder.
- Okay.
465
00:24:13,580 --> 00:24:15,420
So, uh... Listen.
466
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:17,300
Can I ask you a couple
of questions now?
467
00:24:17,380 --> 00:24:20,720
No, no. Um... Not here.
468
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,300
So busy.
So much to do.
469
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,600
Well, uh, perhaps
we could have dinner tonight?
470
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,770
Yes. Fine. Swell. See you then.
471
00:24:29,850 --> 00:24:32,770
I'll pick you up at your house.
It must be beautiful.
472
00:24:32,850 --> 00:24:34,940
- I'm sure it is.
- Hmm?
473
00:24:35,020 --> 00:24:36,990
I mean, sure it is!
474
00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:38,610
Yeah.
475
00:24:38,690 --> 00:24:40,610
So, uh, where do you live?
476
00:24:42,190 --> 00:24:43,440
Urn...
477
00:24:44,070 --> 00:24:45,490
Guess!
478
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,120
Probably some
highbrow street somewhere.
479
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,790
Highbrow Street, absolutely right.
480
00:24:51,870 --> 00:24:52,990
Highbrow Street.
481
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,080
How did you guess? Are you psychic?
482
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,920
But now, guess what number.
483
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,250
I don't know. Number 17?
484
00:25:01,340 --> 00:25:03,460
Yes, all right. 17 Highbrow Street.
485
00:25:03,550 --> 00:25:06,720
Okay.
I'll pick you up at, shall we say...
486
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,270
- Eight o'clock?
- 5:30 p.m.?
487
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,890
- 4:15 p.m.?
- 9:20 p.m.?
488
00:25:09,970 --> 00:25:11,970
Seven o'clock.
489
00:25:12,060 --> 00:25:14,100
- Okay. That was easy.
- Yes, easy.
490
00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:17,280
- Okay, well, I'll see you later.
- Yes. 8:00.
491
00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:18,730
Seven.
492
00:25:18,810 --> 00:25:20,310
Seven, seven.
493
00:25:21,610 --> 00:25:22,730
Well, um...
494
00:25:23,860 --> 00:25:26,200
- Goodbye.
- Yes.
495
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:28,950
Adios, mon chéri.
496
00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:32,830
Much obliged.
497
00:25:33,620 --> 00:25:36,000
So, Kermit, tell me,
what about Lady Holiday?
498
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,050
- I mean, is she pretty?
- Oh, yeah.
499
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:39,750
- Mmm-hmm.
- Not at all what I expected.
500
00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:41,840
- Ah.
- Nice eyes, sturdy legs.
501
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:45,920
And it might have been my imagination,
but, uh, I think she found me attractive.
502
00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:47,970
Oh. Uh, taxi!
503
00:25:48,050 --> 00:25:50,050
Well, of course
she found you attractive.
504
00:25:50,130 --> 00:25:51,230
It runs in the family.
505
00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:53,810
Taxi! Taxi!
506
00:25:55,060 --> 00:25:56,680
I don't know why
the cabs won't stop.
507
00:25:56,770 --> 00:25:59,270
Just leave it to me.
508
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,400
Taxi!
509
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,780
That's very effective.
510
00:26:08,780 --> 00:26:10,870
Yeah, it's great when it works.
511
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,130
Did you want me to stop or what?
512
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:15,750
Thank you very much, sir.
513
00:26:15,830 --> 00:26:18,050
Oh, you can call me Beauregard.
514
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:21,170
- Where are you guys going?
- Uh, the Happiness Hotel.
515
00:26:21,250 --> 00:26:24,670
Oh, good, that's where I'm going.
How do you get there?
516
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:28,050
- Haven't you ever been there?
- Of course. I live there.
517
00:26:28,130 --> 00:26:30,230
I just don't know how to get there.
518
00:26:30,630 --> 00:26:33,060
- It's straight down this street.
- Okay.
519
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:37,810
Whoa!
520
00:26:38,020 --> 00:26:40,390
Okay. Good.
Now just keep going straight.
521
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:41,980
Will do.
522
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,660
it takes a while to
get to know the town.
523
00:26:50,740 --> 00:26:54,080
- How long have you lived in London?
- All my life.
524
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,460
How come you don't have
an English accent?
525
00:26:56,530 --> 00:26:58,630
Hey, I'm lucky to have
a driver's license.
526
00:27:08,170 --> 00:27:10,720
Hey, it's just up ahead
there on the right.
527
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:11,800
What is?
528
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,850
- The Happiness Hotel.
- Oh, yeah.
529
00:27:14,930 --> 00:27:16,980
What's your room number?
530
00:27:17,060 --> 00:27:19,770
I don't know.
We're on the second floor.
531
00:27:19,850 --> 00:27:20,900
Oh, I'm sorry.
532
00:27:20,980 --> 00:27:23,440
I can only take you as far as the lobby.
533
00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:29,980
Whee!
534
00:27:41,290 --> 00:27:44,540
You can never find a cab
when you need one.
535
00:27:46,290 --> 00:27:48,760
Whoo-whee! Can we do that again?
536
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,710
Well, thank you very much,
Beauregard.
537
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,300
You're welcome.
Hey, how do I get out of here?
538
00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:55,260
I suggest you make a U-turn.
539
00:27:56,220 --> 00:27:57,390
Hmm, right.
540
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,060
He's headed for the kitchen!
541
00:28:03,730 --> 00:28:04,900
Oh, no!
542
00:28:17,740 --> 00:28:20,840
Well, looks like steering wheel souffle
for dinner.
543
00:28:20,910 --> 00:28:22,290
Again?
544
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,210
If you'll excuse me,
I'm going out to dinner.
545
00:28:25,290 --> 00:28:28,010
That's right.
Kermit's got a date with Lady Holiday.
546
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,840
- You don't have to tell everybody.
- Oh. Right.
547
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,390
Pops, don't tell anybody.
Kermit's got a date with Lady Holiday.
548
00:28:35,260 --> 00:28:37,680
Kermit's got a date
with Lady Holiday?
549
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,110
Oh, wow.
Wait till I tell the guys in the band.
550
00:28:41,180 --> 00:28:44,180
- Tell us what?
- Yeah, what's going down?
551
00:28:46,770 --> 00:28:49,860
Kermit and Lady Holiday? All right!
552
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,030
Fozzie,
this is all very embarrassing.
553
00:28:57,110 --> 00:29:00,370
Kermit, don't worry.
it won't go outside this room.
554
00:29:00,450 --> 00:29:02,700
Here is a Muppet news flash.
555
00:29:02,790 --> 00:29:06,510
Kermit the Frog to date Lady Holiday.
Details at 11:00.
556
00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:16,220
Smile.
557
00:29:17,380 --> 00:29:18,890
Local poultry.
558
00:29:25,930 --> 00:29:27,190
Boy, it's a good thing
you didn't tell everybody
559
00:29:27,270 --> 00:29:28,900
where Lady Holiday lives,
560
00:29:28,980 --> 00:29:31,070
otherwise they'd all
be camped on her doorstep.
561
00:29:31,150 --> 00:29:34,570
That is just for you
and me to know, brother.
562
00:29:34,650 --> 00:29:38,080
We are going to have ourselves
a time tonight.
563
00:29:38,150 --> 00:29:39,500
Wacka wacka.
564
00:29:39,570 --> 00:29:41,040
"We"? What do you mean "we"?
565
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:42,620
The two of us. You missed a spot.
566
00:29:42,700 --> 00:29:45,080
Anyway. When we get there tonight,
just act naturally.
567
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,840
Oh, no, no. Wait a second,
wait a second. It's when I get there.
568
00:29:47,910 --> 00:29:49,760
This is my date with Lady Holiday.
569
00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:53,090
I'm going alone.
So it's "me" not "we."
570
00:29:53,670 --> 00:29:54,720
Oh.
571
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,550
I see. Fine.
572
00:29:58,470 --> 00:30:00,760
Boy, I wish I had whiskers.
573
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,850
Of course, then I'd have to use a blade.
574
00:30:02,930 --> 00:30:05,020
- Kermit? Turn around.
- Hmm?
575
00:30:05,850 --> 00:30:09,480
Are you really going
to go without me tonight?
576
00:30:09,810 --> 00:30:13,910
Well, Fozzie, I figure this is something
that I have to do alone.
577
00:30:15,570 --> 00:30:17,790
- No problem.
- Oh, good.
578
00:30:17,860 --> 00:30:20,410
- Just hand me my cuff links.
- Yes, sir.
579
00:30:20,490 --> 00:30:22,580
And straighten my tie
580
00:30:22,660 --> 00:30:24,910
Just drench me in rich cologne
581
00:30:25,030 --> 00:30:26,580
And don't ask me why
582
00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:30,000
Go on and pluck me
a boutonniére
583
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,380
You're moving up and walking on air
584
00:30:32,710 --> 00:30:36,260
Steppin' out with a star
And feeling high
585
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,050
Come polish my wing tips
586
00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:42,560
- And call for the car
587
00:30:43,220 --> 00:30:47,570
I'll sweep her right off
Her feet wherever we are
588
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:50,650
A satin collar and velvet vest
589
00:30:50,730 --> 00:30:53,320
I never settle for second best
590
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,740
Steppin' out with a star
Sad times, bye-bye
591
00:30:56,820 --> 00:30:59,660
Have I got style? Mmm!
592
00:30:59,740 --> 00:31:02,160
Have I got taste? Mmm!
593
00:31:03,450 --> 00:31:05,670
On someone else, I swear
594
00:31:05,740 --> 00:31:08,370
This savoir-faire
Would be such a waste
595
00:31:14,420 --> 00:31:15,760
Come toss me my top hat
596
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:16,840
Yes, sir!
597
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,670
I'm ready to fly
598
00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:21,010
Busting into the upper crust
599
00:31:21,090 --> 00:31:23,930
As easy as pie
600
00:31:24,050 --> 00:31:26,770
Just watch my dreams come true
601
00:31:26,850 --> 00:31:28,970
This is something I was born to do
602
00:31:29,060 --> 00:31:32,900
Steppin' out with a star
That star is you
603
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,300
- Have you got class?
- Have I got class?
604
00:31:58,380 --> 00:32:00,550
- Have you got chic?
- Have I got chic?
605
00:32:00,630 --> 00:32:03,760
To think that you and me were nobody
606
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,470
Why, only last week
607
00:32:05,550 --> 00:32:06,600
Hey, guys!
608
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:15,320
I'm ready to fly
609
00:32:17,650 --> 00:32:20,320
- Kermit!
- At least I can try.
610
00:32:21,030 --> 00:32:23,450
Just watch my dreams come true
611
00:32:23,530 --> 00:32:25,870
This is something I was born to do
612
00:32:25,950 --> 00:32:28,500
Steppin' out with a star
Bye, bad times
613
00:32:28,570 --> 00:32:30,950
Steppin' out with a star
Hey, good times
614
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:37,260
Steppin' out with a star
And feeling high
615
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,010
Yeah!
616
00:32:40,090 --> 00:32:42,640
Well, how do I look?
617
00:32:43,210 --> 00:32:45,090
Which one are you?
618
00:32:45,170 --> 00:32:47,720
- I'm the one on the right.
- Oh.
619
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:51,350
Well, you look like you're gonna
have a terrific time.
620
00:32:51,430 --> 00:32:53,350
Without me.
621
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,530
- Fozzie?
- What?
622
00:32:58,150 --> 00:32:59,400
You can come.
623
00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:02,530
- You mean it?
- Mmm-hmm.
624
00:33:02,610 --> 00:33:03,860
Oh, boy!
625
00:33:05,110 --> 00:33:07,280
Great news, gang. We can go!
626
00:33:53,660 --> 00:33:56,000
Awfully disappointing weather today.
627
00:33:56,500 --> 00:33:57,500
Hmm?
628
00:33:58,580 --> 00:34:01,460
The weather.
Awfully disappointing today.
629
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:02,670
Is it, is it?
630
00:34:02,750 --> 00:34:06,180
Yes. Mmm, yes, yes.
I know what you mean.
631
00:34:13,890 --> 00:34:15,690
It was rather disappointing yesterday.
632
00:34:16,770 --> 00:34:18,270
And the day before.
633
00:34:26,940 --> 00:34:28,570
What is it, Neville?
634
00:34:32,910 --> 00:34:34,120
Urn...
635
00:34:35,950 --> 00:34:37,450
Pig, um...
636
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,960
Climbing up the outside
of the house, dear.
637
00:34:41,790 --> 00:34:42,790
Oh.
638
00:34:53,890 --> 00:34:57,060
Next time they want stunts,
they get a double.
639
00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,980
The day before that
was awfully disappointing, too.
640
00:35:00,060 --> 00:35:01,230
Mmm.
641
00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:04,320
And of course the weekend
was perfectly frightful.
642
00:35:04,860 --> 00:35:05,980
Never stopped raining.
643
00:35:16,330 --> 00:35:18,750
- Neville?
- Hmm?
644
00:35:18,830 --> 00:35:21,710
- Am I boring you?
- What, dear?
645
00:35:21,790 --> 00:35:26,340
- I said, "Am I boring you"?
- Boring me?
646
00:35:26,420 --> 00:35:27,760
Oh, that's a good one.
647
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:29,810
I'm having the time of my life, dear.
648
00:35:31,170 --> 00:35:32,770
Neville, did you say
649
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:36,100
a pig was climbing up
the outside of the house?
650
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,520
Yes. Yes. Yes, I believe I did, yes.
651
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:42,900
I thought so.
652
00:35:42,980 --> 00:35:45,780
Oh, you'd have to look
a long way to find a chap
653
00:35:45,860 --> 00:35:47,700
who was more, urn...
654
00:35:48,230 --> 00:35:50,230
Stimulated than I am, yes.
655
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,190
Oh, dear me, no, no, no.
656
00:35:53,150 --> 00:35:59,330
The last time I was bored,
and never by you, my little armada...
657
00:35:59,410 --> 00:36:01,710
- What was that?
- Just making a point, dear.
658
00:36:01,790 --> 00:36:04,790
I mean, if I was bored I'd go out
and buy something, wouldn't I?
659
00:36:04,870 --> 00:36:07,630
Like cheese or quails' eggs.
660
00:36:07,710 --> 00:36:11,060
- Hmm, something like that.
- Yes, I suppose you would.
661
00:36:11,130 --> 00:36:13,300
Yes, of course I would, dear.
662
00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:16,100
That's the sort of spur-of-the-moment
fellow I am.
663
00:36:16,180 --> 00:36:17,470
What?
664
00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:21,640
Uh, what, dear?
665
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:24,070
What would you buy if you were bored?
666
00:36:24,940 --> 00:36:27,400
Ah! Uh...
667
00:36:30,770 --> 00:36:33,070
A jar of calf's-foot jelly?
668
00:36:36,570 --> 00:36:39,040
I'd like to come with you
and help you pick one out.
669
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:40,960
Oh, that isn't necessary, Dorcas.
670
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:42,380
There's no need
for you to leave the house.
671
00:36:42,450 --> 00:36:43,800
I wouldn't mind.
672
00:36:43,870 --> 00:36:46,120
Haven't been outside for 12 years.
673
00:36:46,210 --> 00:36:48,840
Well, the weather's been
most disappointing.
674
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,670
Still, there's no reason for me to stay
here all the time.
675
00:36:51,750 --> 00:36:54,220
The children are gone,
the pets are dead,
676
00:36:54,300 --> 00:36:56,680
the butler's been discharged,
no one ever visits us.
677
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,320
That was the doorbell, Neville.
678
00:37:14,940 --> 00:37:18,540
So it was.
And the butler's dead?
679
00:37:18,610 --> 00:37:21,040
No, no, no.
680
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:24,670
The pets are dead.
The butler's been discharged.
681
00:37:25,410 --> 00:37:26,500
Ah.
682
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,130
I think one of us should answer it,
Neville.
683
00:37:31,210 --> 00:37:32,880
Oh, do you?
684
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,760
Or we could both answer it.
685
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,220
Come, dear, I hardly think it's
necessary for both of us to...
686
00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:41,020
I'll answer it!
687
00:37:47,020 --> 00:37:49,190
I thought you said the pets were dead.
688
00:37:51,020 --> 00:37:53,570
- Hello.
- Uh...
689
00:37:53,650 --> 00:37:55,200
This is for you.
690
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,900
Oh, thank you.
691
00:37:57,990 --> 00:37:59,910
Shall we go?
692
00:37:59,990 --> 00:38:03,960
You know, I've never been inside
a real ritzy English house before.
693
00:38:06,330 --> 00:38:09,460
- Aren't you hungry?
- Sure, but we've got a few minutes.
694
00:38:10,170 --> 00:38:12,840
Okay, let's take a few minutes.
695
00:38:14,670 --> 00:38:16,760
Say, nice place you got here.
696
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,140
Yes. I practically stole it.
697
00:38:20,300 --> 00:38:23,270
Um, let me show you around.
698
00:38:23,350 --> 00:38:24,940
Who was that guy back there?
699
00:38:25,010 --> 00:38:27,440
- Just some sort of servant.
- Mmm-hmm.
700
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,560
Um, this, of course,
is the drawing room.
701
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,690
Mmm-hmm.
Did you decorate this place yourself?
702
00:38:33,810 --> 00:38:36,570
I'll just close the door.
It's very drafty.
703
00:38:38,530 --> 00:38:41,830
Uh, there's a chair and some walls.
704
00:38:41,910 --> 00:38:43,830
- A whirlwind tour, huh?
- Yes.
705
00:38:43,910 --> 00:38:47,880
- This is the bedroom and, uh... Bath.
- Mmm-hmm.
706
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,550
We have
hot and cold running water.
707
00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:54,500
There's probably a bathtub
and everything.
708
00:38:58,260 --> 00:38:59,850
Oh, here.
I want to show you something.
709
00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:02,220
This is the closet.
710
00:39:03,390 --> 00:39:06,010
Nice. Dark but nice.
711
00:39:12,730 --> 00:39:14,530
Ah. Sorry.
712
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:21,580
Uh, don't think me rude, but is there,
in fact, anything I can do for you at all?
713
00:39:25,780 --> 00:39:26,960
Urn...
714
00:39:27,910 --> 00:39:30,830
Yes. Yes, yes. Ahem.
715
00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:34,130
You may suggest a nice restaurant.
716
00:39:34,210 --> 00:39:36,710
Ah. Well,
there's the Dubonnet Club.
717
00:39:36,790 --> 00:39:39,670
Actually that's not so much a
restaurant, more a supper club.
718
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,550
Ah. Thank you, Jeeves.
719
00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:44,760
No time for cocktails.
720
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,220
Evening.
721
00:39:53,100 --> 00:39:55,200
Why are you staring
into the closet, Neville?
722
00:39:55,270 --> 00:39:58,700
Ah, you recall that pig I mentioned?
723
00:39:58,770 --> 00:40:00,370
The one that was climbing up the side
of the house?
724
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,120
That's the chap.
That's the chap.
725
00:40:02,190 --> 00:40:03,540
Yes, I seem to recall that.
726
00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:04,990
Well, he was in there just now,
727
00:40:05,070 --> 00:40:06,950
along with a... A lizard.
728
00:40:07,030 --> 00:40:09,750
I see. And what did they want?
729
00:40:09,830 --> 00:40:12,580
Name of a good restaurant.
I told them the Dubonnet Club.
730
00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:14,880
That's more of a supper club
than a restaurant.
731
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,180
Yes, well, I tried to tell them that.
732
00:40:17,250 --> 00:40:18,590
Don't blame yourself.
733
00:40:18,670 --> 00:40:21,640
No. No.
734
00:40:24,550 --> 00:40:26,220
Hey! There they are!
735
00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:27,300
Whee!
736
00:40:27,390 --> 00:40:29,860
Kermit and his new flame.
737
00:40:29,930 --> 00:40:31,680
- Hubba hubba.
- Ding ding!
738
00:40:34,060 --> 00:40:37,150
You'll have to jump in the front seat.
739
00:40:37,230 --> 00:40:39,730
The back seat's been quarantined.
740
00:40:41,650 --> 00:40:45,080
Let's hit the road.
How about a little traveling music?
741
00:40:45,150 --> 00:40:46,910
For sure. A love song.
742
00:40:46,990 --> 00:40:48,910
Love song, love song.
743
00:40:48,990 --> 00:40:50,120
Hit it!
744
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:58,680
Give me my good friends
745
00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:00,250
And play me my music
746
00:41:00,340 --> 00:41:04,090
Yeah, give me my night life
747
00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:07,100
Talk me that guitar
And roll me that boogie
748
00:41:07,180 --> 00:41:09,350
Yeah, give me my night life
749
00:41:11,890 --> 00:41:13,440
Are these your friends?
750
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:15,140
Just the ones on the fenders.
751
00:41:19,940 --> 00:41:24,030
Sing me the good times
'Cause I need the feeling
752
00:41:24,110 --> 00:41:26,490
Yeah, give me that night life
753
00:41:39,420 --> 00:41:43,090
Give me my nightlife
754
00:41:43,250 --> 00:41:44,800
Whoo, yeah!
755
00:41:47,050 --> 00:41:50,300
Give me my nightlife
756
00:41:52,470 --> 00:41:54,820
They don't have to play this loud.
757
00:41:54,890 --> 00:41:57,020
Oh, that's okay. They don't mind.
758
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:02,490
Sing me the good times
'Cause I need the feeling
759
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,440
Give me my nightlife
760
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,240
Give me my nightlife
761
00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:39,440
Boy, a classy place like this,
762
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,150
you'd think they'd have
pretzels on the table.
763
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,910
Well, what a delightful menu.
764
00:42:48,610 --> 00:42:49,700
What?
765
00:42:49,780 --> 00:42:52,120
Nothing. It's just sort of amusing
766
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,950
that the roast beef
is the same price as an Oldsmobile.
767
00:42:56,580 --> 00:42:58,920
You come here often, Lady Holiday?
768
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,880
Oh, only on special occasions.
769
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,260
And this is very special,
Kermie.
770
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,010
Waiter! Champagne, caviar.
771
00:43:07,590 --> 00:43:10,760
Hey, hey, Kermit.
How are we gonna pay for this?
772
00:43:11,340 --> 00:43:13,180
You got about 1,600 bucks on you?
773
00:43:13,260 --> 00:43:15,600
Hey, relax, Kermit.
I'll take care of it.
774
00:43:21,270 --> 00:43:24,190
Say cheese!
775
00:43:24,270 --> 00:43:26,620
There you go, folks.
Souvenir photograph.
776
00:43:26,690 --> 00:43:29,440
Just gimme your name and address
and ten bucks.
777
00:43:36,330 --> 00:43:38,250
Good evening, Lady Holiday.
778
00:43:38,330 --> 00:43:40,630
- Such a pleasure to see you.
- Thank you, Stanley.
779
00:43:40,700 --> 00:43:43,420
Why, what a lovely diamond necklace.
780
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,260
It is rather breathtaking, isn't it?
781
00:43:46,340 --> 00:43:48,260
I thought it
a little outré,
782
00:43:48,340 --> 00:43:50,510
but my brother Nicky insisted
that I wear it.
783
00:43:51,510 --> 00:43:52,930
Your table, Lady Holiday.
784
00:43:53,010 --> 00:43:54,510
Thank you, Stanley.
Give Stanley a tip, Nicky.
785
00:43:54,590 --> 00:43:56,560
For complimenting you
on your necklace?
786
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,310
No, because it is customary.
787
00:43:58,390 --> 00:44:01,110
- I don't have any change.
- Then give him something bigger.
788
00:44:01,180 --> 00:44:02,280
Bigger?
789
00:44:02,350 --> 00:44:03,940
I left my wallet at home.
790
00:44:04,020 --> 00:44:06,110
You left your wallet in college.
791
00:44:06,190 --> 00:44:07,160
How about you, folks?
792
00:44:07,230 --> 00:44:09,360
- Souvenir photograph?
- No thanks. No picture.
793
00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:12,450
Aw, come on. It'll be a great memento
for you and your wife.
794
00:44:12,530 --> 00:44:14,780
My wife isn't feeling very well.
795
00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:17,370
Oh, that's too bad.
Maybe she should be at home.
796
00:44:17,450 --> 00:44:18,950
My wife is at home.
797
00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:22,460
Yes. Next table!
798
00:44:31,170 --> 00:44:33,170
That caviar was yummy.
799
00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:35,930
Mwah!
Love those fish eggs!
800
00:44:38,300 --> 00:44:41,430
- Uh, Lady Holiday?
- Oh. Yes?
801
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:43,980
Uh, can we talk about
the jewel robbery now?
802
00:44:44,060 --> 00:44:46,480
Oh, Kermit.
Let us not talk business.
803
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,820
Music is in the air,
the night is young,
804
00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:51,570
and I'm so beautiful.
805
00:44:52,730 --> 00:44:54,200
What jewel robbery?
806
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:56,910
Uh, your jewels.
The ones that were stolen.
807
00:44:56,990 --> 00:45:00,080
You know, you have lovely eyes.
808
00:45:10,750 --> 00:45:14,930
You know, if you put enough sugar in this
stuff, it tastes just like ginger ale.
809
00:45:17,050 --> 00:45:20,050
Catch you later, Stanley.
810
00:45:20,140 --> 00:45:21,260
Aren't you happy we're here?
811
00:45:21,350 --> 00:45:25,190
I have grave doubts about
wearing these jewels.
812
00:45:25,270 --> 00:45:27,440
I feel as if thieves were
breathing down my neck.
813
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:29,240
Thieves aren't
breathing down your neck.
814
00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:30,860
- I want to put them in a safe.
- No.
815
00:45:30,940 --> 00:45:32,320
- Yes.
- Yes, I meant yes.
816
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:34,450
Why would I say no when I meant yes?
817
00:45:34,530 --> 00:45:36,240
- Go and see Stanley.
- Go and see Stanley?
818
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,070
Go and see Stanley immediately.
819
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:39,530
All right.
If that's what you want.
820
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:42,700
And don't forget to tip him.
821
00:45:42,780 --> 00:45:44,750
Tip. Tip.
822
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:59,530
The first time you see her
823
00:46:59,610 --> 00:47:03,120
No bolt from the blue
824
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:06,580
Just something so quiet
825
00:47:06,660 --> 00:47:10,710
Yet waiting for you
826
00:47:10,790 --> 00:47:14,340
With no one to tell you
827
00:47:14,420 --> 00:47:17,720
That you've got to go
828
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:22,430
The first time it happens, you know
829
00:47:25,510 --> 00:47:28,890
The first time you see her
830
00:47:28,970 --> 00:47:32,570
No magical change
831
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:36,150
No angels appearing
832
00:47:36,230 --> 00:47:40,360
No dreams to arrange
833
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,660
Just warmer and colder
834
00:47:43,740 --> 00:47:47,330
Than springtime or snow
835
00:47:47,410 --> 00:47:52,040
The first time it happens, you know
836
00:47:53,830 --> 00:47:58,210
And so you fall
837
00:47:58,300 --> 00:48:01,270
And how complete it is
838
00:48:01,340 --> 00:48:05,850
And for each moment that it lasts
839
00:48:05,930 --> 00:48:09,180
How sweet it is
840
00:48:09,260 --> 00:48:12,890
The first time together
841
00:48:12,980 --> 00:48:16,530
How simple, how rare
842
00:48:16,610 --> 00:48:18,900
And just when you thought
843
00:48:18,980 --> 00:48:23,610
You'd forgot how to care
844
00:48:24,150 --> 00:48:27,580
And though you feel much more
845
00:48:27,660 --> 00:48:31,290
Than you dare to show
846
00:48:31,370 --> 00:48:37,170
The first time it happens, you know
847
00:48:41,210 --> 00:48:43,310
Wow. She's fantastic.
848
00:48:48,850 --> 00:48:52,220
The first time you see her
849
00:48:52,310 --> 00:48:55,730
No magical change
850
00:48:55,810 --> 00:48:58,910
No angels appearing
851
00:48:58,980 --> 00:49:02,360
No dreams to arrange
852
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:05,740
Just warmer and colder
853
00:49:05,820 --> 00:49:08,990
Than springtime or snow
854
00:49:09,070 --> 00:49:13,420
The first time it happens, you know
855
00:49:13,500 --> 00:49:14,920
What a great number!
856
00:49:21,500 --> 00:49:22,500
Nicky?
857
00:49:22,590 --> 00:49:25,090
That's my new receptionist
dancing out there.
858
00:49:25,170 --> 00:49:26,520
- Which one?
- The pig.
859
00:49:31,220 --> 00:49:32,970
She's sensational.
860
00:49:33,060 --> 00:49:35,560
Forty-five words a minute.
About average.
861
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,540
And just when you thought
862
00:49:51,620 --> 00:49:55,120
You'd forgot how to care
863
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,630
For the first time
864
00:49:57,710 --> 00:50:00,430
For the first time
865
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:03,090
A-ha!
866
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:25,620
The first time it happens
867
00:50:25,690 --> 00:50:28,740
The moment it happens
868
00:50:28,820 --> 00:50:32,040
Then suddenly
There's a whole new world
869
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,910
The first time it happens
870
00:50:34,990 --> 00:50:38,040
The first time it happens
871
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:44,420
The first time it happens
872
00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:48,220
You know
873
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:01,520
Bravo!
874
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:02,600
Bravo!
875
00:51:09,030 --> 00:51:10,500
Aieee!
876
00:51:11,450 --> 00:51:13,540
Lady Holiday! What's happened?
877
00:51:13,620 --> 00:51:15,910
Was it you that screamed,
"Aieee"?
878
00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:18,370
- She screamed right into my ear.
- Of course I screamed.
879
00:51:18,450 --> 00:51:20,050
Somebody's just stolen my necklace.
880
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,670
I told you this would happen.
That necklace was worth a fortune.
881
00:51:22,750 --> 00:51:24,550
- Do something.
- What do you want me to do?
882
00:51:24,630 --> 00:51:26,850
I spilled ketchup
all over my cummerbund.
883
00:51:27,090 --> 00:51:29,930
For God's sake.
Straighten that tie.
884
00:51:30,010 --> 00:51:32,890
It's Lady Holiday, her necklace,
it's been stolen.
885
00:51:33,930 --> 00:51:36,230
"Lady Holiday"? But I thought...
886
00:51:37,310 --> 00:51:39,810
Kermit. I think I've got
a picture of the thief.
887
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,100
- Oh, great.
- Yeah!
888
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:45,360
But...
889
00:52:17,180 --> 00:52:18,650
This is great, Gonzo.
890
00:52:18,720 --> 00:52:22,150
You popped the flash just before
the soup landed on his tie.
891
00:52:22,230 --> 00:52:24,320
Yeah, well, photography's an art.
892
00:52:24,390 --> 00:52:25,940
You gotta have the right film,
893
00:52:26,020 --> 00:52:27,610
you gotta have the right exposure,
894
00:52:27,690 --> 00:52:30,530
and you gotta scream just before
they get the food to their mouth.
895
00:52:31,860 --> 00:52:33,410
What's going on in there?
896
00:52:33,490 --> 00:52:36,040
Lot of folks out here
want to use the rest room.
897
00:52:36,110 --> 00:52:38,990
Well, we're developing these pictures.
We'll be out as soon as we finish.
898
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,370
- Ah, we're trying to catch a jewel thief.
- A jewel thief.
899
00:52:41,450 --> 00:52:43,250
Well, catch him in another room.
900
00:52:43,330 --> 00:52:46,420
People are dancing up and down
on one leg out here.
901
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:48,920
Hurry, Gonzo. There's gotta
be a picture of somebody
902
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,630
taking Lady Holiday's necklace.
903
00:52:50,710 --> 00:52:54,590
Well, I don't know.
I still think that pig took it.
904
00:52:54,670 --> 00:52:57,470
- Oh, she wouldn't steal.
- Why not? She lied.
905
00:52:57,550 --> 00:52:58,770
That's two different things.
906
00:52:58,850 --> 00:53:00,390
Besides, she couldn't
have stolen the necklace
907
00:53:00,470 --> 00:53:02,650
because she was dancing.
908
00:53:02,720 --> 00:53:04,770
That's right.
There's that old adage,
909
00:53:04,850 --> 00:53:07,570
you can't dance and steal
at the same time.
910
00:53:07,650 --> 00:53:10,650
No, that's, "You can't walk
and chew gum at the same time."
911
00:53:10,730 --> 00:53:12,950
Oh, no. I think it's,
"You can't pat your head
912
00:53:13,030 --> 00:53:14,650
"and rub your stomach
at the same time."
913
00:53:14,740 --> 00:53:16,740
What's the difference?
She didn't steal the necklace.
914
00:53:16,820 --> 00:53:18,320
- I bet you I can do it.
- Do what?
915
00:53:18,410 --> 00:53:20,780
Pat my head and rub my stomach
at the same time.
916
00:53:20,870 --> 00:53:23,170
Big deal,
anybody can do that.
917
00:53:24,750 --> 00:53:27,220
Would you guys out it out?
We're wasting time.
918
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:35,470
- Hey, here it is.
- What? What? What? What?
919
00:53:35,550 --> 00:53:37,680
Oh, look at that. It's that guy
sitting next to Lady Holiday
920
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:39,260
and those girls
standing in the back.
921
00:53:39,340 --> 00:53:42,190
It's probably the same gang
that pulled that first job.
922
00:53:42,260 --> 00:53:43,860
- Wow!
- Yes, and we got them
923
00:53:43,930 --> 00:53:45,180
with their hands in the cookie jar.
924
00:53:48,100 --> 00:53:49,650
What's going on?
925
00:53:49,730 --> 00:53:51,280
What is this, anyway?
926
00:53:51,860 --> 00:53:53,030
Aw.
927
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,700
The cookie jar just busted.
928
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:07,670
Look, Dad. There's a bear.
929
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:09,800
No, Christine, that's a frog.
930
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:12,010
Bears wear hats.
931
00:54:22,050 --> 00:54:24,810
- How you doing, young fella?
- Oh...
932
00:54:24,890 --> 00:54:27,060
Okay, I guess.
933
00:54:27,140 --> 00:54:29,610
Penny for your thoughts.
934
00:54:29,690 --> 00:54:32,940
Well, it's a long story.
935
00:54:33,020 --> 00:54:36,650
- But a familiar one, I bet.
- Mmm.
936
00:54:37,190 --> 00:54:38,570
Older than the hills.
937
00:54:38,650 --> 00:54:40,080
I've been there, my friend.
938
00:54:40,150 --> 00:54:42,780
- I've been there and back.
- Mmm.
939
00:54:42,870 --> 00:54:46,340
You know, I see the way
you're sitting here
940
00:54:46,410 --> 00:54:48,760
and I see the way you've
got your hand around that little shoe,
941
00:54:48,830 --> 00:54:51,080
and that's all I need.
I know your whole story.
942
00:54:51,170 --> 00:54:52,880
Mmm, you do?
943
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:54,590
Absolutely.
944
00:54:54,670 --> 00:54:56,640
I know exactly what happened to you.
945
00:54:57,800 --> 00:54:58,890
What?
946
00:54:58,970 --> 00:55:00,430
Well, I tell you, friend.
947
00:55:00,510 --> 00:55:04,140
What happened was you
and your brother-in-law Bernie,
948
00:55:04,220 --> 00:55:06,600
you cashed in your stock certificates
949
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:08,270
and your insurance policy
950
00:55:08,350 --> 00:55:11,230
and you went out and bought
a dry-cleaning establishment.
951
00:55:11,310 --> 00:55:12,310
Mmm?
952
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:14,610
Now, another place
opens up down the street
953
00:55:14,690 --> 00:55:16,610
and it's charging less.
954
00:55:16,690 --> 00:55:19,570
And they're getting the stuff out faster
because they got more help.
955
00:55:19,650 --> 00:55:21,870
- It's not your fault. Right?
- Mmm.
956
00:55:21,950 --> 00:55:25,290
All right. So Bernie
comes to you, he says,
957
00:55:25,370 --> 00:55:26,960
"I want you to buy me out."
958
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:28,410
He says he's fed up.
959
00:55:28,490 --> 00:55:31,870
Well, your kids are growing up,
you never see 'em,
960
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:34,760
and all of a sudden they're turning into
juvenile delinquents,
961
00:55:34,830 --> 00:55:35,930
and your wife is saying to you,
962
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,130
"Listen, you care more
about this lousy business
963
00:55:38,210 --> 00:55:39,810
"than you care about me."
964
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:41,850
And the equipment breaks down
965
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:43,470
and your sister moves in with you
966
00:55:43,550 --> 00:55:46,100
because that jerk Bernie,
he went and joined the circus.
967
00:55:46,180 --> 00:55:48,650
Well, you had it up to here, right?
968
00:55:48,720 --> 00:55:51,020
You didn't know what to do.
969
00:55:51,100 --> 00:55:52,650
So what did you do?
970
00:55:52,730 --> 00:55:55,150
- You did the only thing you could do.
- Mmm.
971
00:55:55,230 --> 00:55:57,150
You dumped the business
for a song.
972
00:55:57,230 --> 00:55:59,230
- And who did you sell it to?
- Who?
973
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,490
You sold it to that
jerk down the street,
974
00:56:01,570 --> 00:56:04,070
that slob that had been
burying you for a year.
975
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:06,530
Then you took whatever
money you had left
976
00:56:06,620 --> 00:56:09,840
and you sunk it into
the glass slipper business.
977
00:56:09,910 --> 00:56:11,910
That's your story, my friend.
978
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:13,340
Not a happy one, is it?
979
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:16,250
Mmm-mmm.
980
00:56:16,330 --> 00:56:19,930
You know, it's amazing.
You are 100% wrong.
981
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,180
I mean, nothing you've
said has been right.
982
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:25,180
Oh, yeah?
983
00:56:26,970 --> 00:56:28,890
Well, how about this...
984
00:56:28,970 --> 00:56:32,940
I hate to be rude, but, uh,
we're trying to do a movie here.
985
00:56:33,020 --> 00:56:35,020
- Oh, yeah?
- Mmm-hmm.
986
00:56:35,100 --> 00:56:38,110
Oh, I didn't know that.
Gee, I'm sorry.
987
00:56:38,190 --> 00:56:41,320
Listen, one thing, son.
988
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:44,870
Would you like to buy a watch?
989
00:56:44,950 --> 00:56:46,950
No.
990
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:52,800
Movie stars.
991
00:56:55,330 --> 00:56:57,330
Get your filthy hands off me!
992
00:56:59,210 --> 00:57:01,180
I beg your pardon, young lady!
993
00:57:01,250 --> 00:57:03,850
Just keep your hands
to yourself, turkey.
994
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:05,520
Hey, you.
995
00:57:07,010 --> 00:57:10,060
Well, well, well.
If it isn't the fake Lady Holiday.
996
00:57:11,430 --> 00:57:13,350
Hello.
997
00:57:13,430 --> 00:57:17,060
"Hello"? Last night you
never even said goodbye.
998
00:57:17,150 --> 00:57:20,700
Oh, Kermit, that was just silliness.
999
00:57:20,770 --> 00:57:22,900
But you lied to me. You used me.
1000
00:57:24,780 --> 00:57:27,780
Oh, Kermit, please,
let me explain. Kermit.
1001
00:57:27,860 --> 00:57:31,410
- My name is Miss Piggy. I am a model.
- Yeah.
1002
00:57:31,490 --> 00:57:35,040
I only lied because
I wanted to be with you.
1003
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:38,050
Yeah, well, I saw the way you were
dancing with that guy last night.
1004
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:40,670
- Oh, Kermit.
- Well, lemme tell you something.
1005
00:57:40,750 --> 00:57:42,800
Your dancing partner
happens to be a jewel thief.
1006
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:43,970
What do you think of that?
1007
00:57:46,380 --> 00:57:49,730
- You're jealous.
- I am not.
1008
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:53,100
You are. You are,
you are, you are, you are.
1009
00:57:54,350 --> 00:57:57,230
Oh, Kermit, I'm sorry.
Oh, please don't go, Kermit. Please.
1010
00:57:57,310 --> 00:57:58,860
- Mmm.
- Please don't go. Kermit, please.
1011
00:57:58,940 --> 00:58:00,310
Oh, please, I'm sorry. Please.
1012
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:02,270
- Piggy. Piggy, hold it.
- Please, please, please.
1013
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:05,450
- Piggy. Piggy?
- Please, please, please.
1014
00:58:05,530 --> 00:58:07,570
- You're overacting.
- What?
1015
00:58:07,650 --> 00:58:10,120
You're overacting.
You're hamming it up.
1016
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:12,700
I am not. I am trying
to save this movie.
1017
00:58:12,780 --> 00:58:14,960
Oh, yeah? Well, save your
performance instead.
1018
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,290
I am playing 800 different emotions.
1019
00:58:17,370 --> 00:58:18,790
Well, try to play one of them right.
1020
00:58:18,870 --> 00:58:21,300
Oh, oh! I have a career of my own.
1021
00:58:21,380 --> 00:58:22,920
I know all about your career, Pig.
1022
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:24,300
I don't need this lousy duck pond here.
1023
00:58:24,380 --> 00:58:25,800
Sure you don't need a lousy duck pond.
1024
00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:28,050
- I'll just walk.
- Okay, sure. Go ahead, walk. Okay?
1025
00:58:28,130 --> 00:58:30,060
- Should I walk? Then I'll walk.
- Walk! Go ahead and walk.
1026
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:34,310
Oh, Piggy.
1027
00:58:36,390 --> 00:58:38,860
- Listen.
- I'm doing my best.
1028
00:58:38,940 --> 00:58:41,810
I know you are.
1029
00:58:41,900 --> 00:58:46,150
Piggy, I'm sorry.
We gotta get back to the movie though.
1030
00:58:46,230 --> 00:58:47,950
All right.
All right, all right, all right.
1031
00:58:50,570 --> 00:58:53,920
Kermit, I'm sorry I left you
last night at the nightclub.
1032
00:58:53,990 --> 00:58:57,840
Oh, well, that's okay, Piggy.
1033
00:58:57,910 --> 00:59:01,590
- Oh, Kermie.
- Oh, Piggy.
1034
00:59:17,060 --> 00:59:20,530
Pretty day, sunny sky
1035
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,280
Lovely pictures dance in your eye
1036
00:59:24,900 --> 00:59:28,650
It all seems so right
1037
00:59:28,730 --> 00:59:31,610
It all feels so rare
1038
00:59:33,780 --> 00:59:37,540
Summer soft sudden breeze
1039
00:59:37,620 --> 00:59:41,670
Watch the wind play tag in the trees
1040
00:59:41,750 --> 00:59:45,380
The world is so bright
1041
00:59:45,460 --> 00:59:49,430
So perfectly fair
1042
00:59:50,970 --> 00:59:54,640
Lovers sing, children dance
1043
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:58,270
For a minute we've got a chance
1044
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:02,110
Why couldn't we fly?
1045
01:00:02,180 --> 01:00:06,910
I know we'd get by
1046
01:00:07,770 --> 01:00:09,820
Couldn't we fly?
1047
01:00:15,110 --> 01:00:19,240
Sunny sky, pretty day
1048
01:00:19,330 --> 01:00:22,880
Just a push and we're on the way
1049
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:27,260
Yes, couldn't we ride
1050
01:00:27,340 --> 01:00:31,510
Side by side?
1051
01:00:36,390 --> 01:00:37,680
Whoa!
1052
01:00:43,850 --> 01:00:45,150
Whoa!
1053
01:00:47,150 --> 01:00:48,900
"Look, Ma, no brains."
1054
01:00:51,110 --> 01:00:52,580
Hup. Whoo!
1055
01:00:52,650 --> 01:00:54,200
Miss Piggy. Whoa.
1056
01:00:58,530 --> 01:01:00,030
Wah! Oof!
1057
01:01:20,140 --> 01:01:23,940
Why couldn't we fly?
1058
01:01:24,020 --> 01:01:28,240
I know we'd get by
1059
01:01:29,230 --> 01:01:32,860
- Sunny sky
- Pretty day
1060
01:01:32,940 --> 01:01:36,990
Just a push and we're on the way
1061
01:01:37,070 --> 01:01:40,290
Yes, couldn't we ride
1062
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:44,790
Side by side?
1063
01:01:44,870 --> 01:01:48,420
Couldn't we ride?
1064
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:10,030
Gangway! Watch it. Coming through.
1065
01:02:10,100 --> 01:02:12,400
She's wonderful. She's so wonderful.
1066
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:15,280
She certainly seems to know
where she's going. It's time.
1067
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:19,990
All right, everybody.
Keep it moving. Don't linger.
1068
01:02:20,070 --> 01:02:22,450
We just want to give them
a hint, a taste, a soupcon.
1069
01:02:22,530 --> 01:02:24,160
Appetizers not four-course meals.
1070
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,500
Marie. I don't think
we should chew gum.
1071
01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:30,550
Stephanie, those false eyelashes
are coming unglued.
1072
01:02:30,620 --> 01:02:32,170
Those shoes are scuffed.
1073
01:02:32,250 --> 01:02:34,720
- I know where they are. I'll get them...
- Sorry.
1074
01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:38,140
Watch it, buster.
Oh. Mr. Holiday, I'm sorry.
1075
01:02:38,220 --> 01:02:40,060
Hello.
1076
01:02:40,130 --> 01:02:41,510
- Miss...
- Piggy.
1077
01:02:41,590 --> 01:02:42,770
- Miss Piggy?
- Right.
1078
01:02:42,850 --> 01:02:44,100
Of course.
1079
01:02:44,970 --> 01:02:48,070
Have dinner with me tonight.
1080
01:02:48,140 --> 01:02:50,570
Mr. Holiday, really, I'm very busy.
1081
01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:53,610
- Could we meet just for a moment?
- Underwear, underwear, underwear.
1082
01:02:53,690 --> 01:02:56,280
Just one brief moment, Miss Piggy.
Miss...
1083
01:02:56,360 --> 01:03:00,030
- Hmm?
- Miss Piggy.
1084
01:03:00,110 --> 01:03:03,330
You're a very different-looking woman.
1085
01:03:03,410 --> 01:03:06,830
I'm so tired of the same type.
Those tall, thin creatures
1086
01:03:06,910 --> 01:03:10,420
with the long legs, the aquiline noses,
1087
01:03:10,500 --> 01:03:13,970
the teeth like pearls, soft skin.
1088
01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:17,760
Yeah, well, I can see why that might
make you sick to your stomach.
1089
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:19,680
- Please now... Please...
- Miss Piggy.
1090
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:22,010
No! Please! No. Please, please.
1091
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:25,520
Don't put a door between us.
1092
01:03:28,270 --> 01:03:29,690
- Hi.
- Oh, Kermit.
1093
01:03:29,770 --> 01:03:33,110
I was looking for
the men's room.
1094
01:03:33,190 --> 01:03:36,490
Kermit, I just want you to meet
someone. This is Nicky Holiday.
1095
01:03:36,570 --> 01:03:39,540
Mr. Holiday, this is Kermit,
my special friend.
1096
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:41,490
Oh.
1097
01:03:43,110 --> 01:03:44,370
Nice to meet you.
1098
01:03:45,830 --> 01:03:47,700
Well, excuse me.
1099
01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:49,170
Hmm.
1100
01:03:50,620 --> 01:03:53,370
- Need I say more?
- He's a frog, isn't he?
1101
01:03:53,790 --> 01:03:55,260
Yes.
1102
01:03:59,170 --> 01:04:01,090
Miss Piggy.
1103
01:04:02,380 --> 01:04:05,010
We could've had something
very, very special.
1104
01:04:07,050 --> 01:04:10,060
Now, I can't be responsible
for what might happen.
1105
01:04:10,890 --> 01:04:15,020
Yeah, well, uh,
c'est la vie.
1106
01:04:17,110 --> 01:04:19,530
I don't know why you
love her like you do.
1107
01:04:19,610 --> 01:04:21,580
I don't know why.
I just do.
1108
01:04:23,070 --> 01:04:25,200
Well, you'd better snap
out of it, and fast.
1109
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:27,830
We've got to plant the goods
on her to take the heat off us.
1110
01:04:27,910 --> 01:04:30,130
I know the plan.
I just wish there was another way.
1111
01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:33,300
It's the only way. Especially now
the cops are starting to ask questions.
1112
01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:37,050
Okay, I'll do my job.
When I give the signal, you do yours.
1113
01:04:37,130 --> 01:04:39,350
Forgive me, Miss Piggy.
1114
01:04:42,420 --> 01:04:44,350
Am I dressed right for this?
1115
01:04:44,430 --> 01:04:46,270
- You look fine, Fozzie.
- Thank you.
1116
01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:49,350
And now,
1117
01:04:49,430 --> 01:04:51,650
without further ado,
1118
01:04:51,720 --> 01:04:54,850
roses, hyacinths,
1119
01:04:54,940 --> 01:04:57,910
lilacs and bluebells
1120
01:04:57,980 --> 01:05:02,110
- make up our first fashion bouquet.
- Ooh!
1121
01:05:03,070 --> 01:05:04,370
Pretty nice lines, huh?
1122
01:05:04,450 --> 01:05:07,070
Yes and the dresses
aren't bad either.
1123
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:09,910
Here's capricious Carla,
1124
01:05:09,990 --> 01:05:13,340
a dream in hyacinth-blue chiffon
1125
01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:17,790
with the classic allure
of the white pleated collar and cuffs.
1126
01:05:17,880 --> 01:05:20,550
The skirt,
a flutter of godets,
1127
01:05:20,630 --> 01:05:24,050
all complemented
by the cloudy folds of blue
1128
01:05:24,130 --> 01:05:27,680
forming the perfect
flower-framing hat.
1129
01:05:28,220 --> 01:05:31,020
Fantastique.
And thank you, Carla.
1130
01:05:31,100 --> 01:05:32,220
Pretty good-looking duds.
1131
01:05:32,310 --> 01:05:34,900
I found the white pleated
collar alluring,
1132
01:05:34,980 --> 01:05:39,030
but I was rather taken aback
by the flutter of godets.
1133
01:05:39,100 --> 01:05:40,400
Mmm-hmm.
1134
01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:45,160
And now here's
delicious Darla
1135
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:47,280
in a swirl of apricot silk
1136
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:51,490
above a tight bodice
with a cleverly draped décolletage.
1137
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:53,750
Finishing with roses
1138
01:05:53,830 --> 01:05:57,580
to match the confection of flowers
and silk on her head,
1139
01:05:57,670 --> 01:06:00,420
forming a teeny-weeny hat.
1140
01:06:06,630 --> 01:06:09,350
Oh. Ow! My knee.
I think I've twisted it.
1141
01:06:09,430 --> 01:06:12,100
You all right? You've got to get up!
You've got to go on!
1142
01:06:12,180 --> 01:06:13,980
I can't go on!
1143
01:06:14,060 --> 01:06:16,860
Oh! You poor thing.
1144
01:06:16,930 --> 01:06:20,730
Oh, don't worry, Marla.
I'll stay right here with you.
1145
01:06:20,810 --> 01:06:24,240
You can't.
You've got to go on in her place.
1146
01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:30,410
And now, the Lady Holiday
swimwear collection.
1147
01:06:31,950 --> 01:06:35,420
Hey, Waldorf, wake up.
Here come the bikinis.
1148
01:06:35,490 --> 01:06:38,420
Oh, boy. We'd better
synchronize our pacemakers.
1149
01:06:38,500 --> 01:06:43,130
A cloud of lavender starburst pleating
surrounds our next model.
1150
01:06:45,590 --> 01:06:47,010
Oh, I say!
1151
01:07:45,610 --> 01:07:48,860
A miracle of spring
1152
01:07:48,940 --> 01:07:51,870
A miracle of beauty
1153
01:07:51,950 --> 01:07:58,450
Be dazzled by the magic of one smile
1154
01:07:58,540 --> 01:08:01,580
A vision of loveliness
1155
01:08:01,660 --> 01:08:03,760
A universe of charms
1156
01:08:03,830 --> 01:08:08,800
We'll never rest until you're in our arms
1157
01:08:18,640 --> 01:08:21,730
Daffodils, Miss Piggy
1158
01:08:21,810 --> 01:08:25,150
Whippoorwills, Miss Piggy
1159
01:08:25,230 --> 01:08:31,910
Everything that's lovely
Warm and spring, Miss Piggy
1160
01:08:31,990 --> 01:08:35,580
Fantasy, Miss Piggy
1161
01:08:35,660 --> 01:08:39,000
Ecstasy, Miss Piggy
1162
01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:42,380
All that's fair or fine or wonderful
1163
01:08:42,450 --> 01:08:45,550
Or anything, Miss Piggy
1164
01:08:45,620 --> 01:08:51,680
Where does the rapture
Begin and grow?
1165
01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:57,930
Where does
Devotion and passion go?
1166
01:08:59,010 --> 01:09:02,270
Happiness, Miss Piggy
1167
01:09:02,350 --> 01:09:05,730
One caress, Miss Piggy
1168
01:09:05,810 --> 01:09:10,190
All the world's ever wanted was you
1169
01:09:10,270 --> 01:09:12,950
A dream come true
1170
01:09:13,030 --> 01:09:17,410
Oh, Miss Piggy, it's you
1171
01:09:32,840 --> 01:09:39,220
Where does the rapture
Begin and grow?
1172
01:09:39,300 --> 01:09:46,310
Where does
Devotion and passion go?
1173
01:09:46,480 --> 01:09:49,820
Happiness, Miss Piggy
1174
01:09:49,900 --> 01:09:53,030
One caress, Miss Piggy
1175
01:09:53,110 --> 01:09:57,660
All the world's ever wanted was you
1176
01:09:57,740 --> 01:10:00,240
A dream come true
1177
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:15,300
Oh, Miss Piggy, it's you
1178
01:10:15,380 --> 01:10:17,260
It's you
1179
01:10:17,340 --> 01:10:19,970
It's you
1180
01:10:36,650 --> 01:10:39,370
Oh, Miss Piggy, are you okay?
1181
01:10:39,450 --> 01:10:43,830
Yeah, sure. I was just looking
for my contact lens.
1182
01:10:51,460 --> 01:10:54,550
Excuse me. Excuse me.
1183
01:10:54,630 --> 01:10:57,380
Oh, dear. Oh, you poor thing.
1184
01:10:57,460 --> 01:11:00,180
Excuse me. Here, put this on.
1185
01:11:00,260 --> 01:11:02,350
- You'll get a chill.
- Thank you very much.
1186
01:11:02,430 --> 01:11:03,850
- You all right'?
- I don't know what happened.
1187
01:11:03,930 --> 01:11:05,680
I must've tripped.
1188
01:11:05,760 --> 01:11:07,640
Wait a minute. What's this?
1189
01:11:08,390 --> 01:11:10,490
I don't think these belong to me.
1190
01:11:12,060 --> 01:11:14,440
Do you recognize this?
1191
01:11:15,520 --> 01:11:18,740
That was my necklace.
But where are the diamonds?
1192
01:11:18,820 --> 01:11:22,540
- Where are the diamonds?
- Miss Piggy stole my necklace.
1193
01:11:23,660 --> 01:11:25,660
- No.
- Miss Piggy, how could you?
1194
01:11:25,740 --> 01:11:27,710
No! No! I don't know anything about it!
1195
01:11:27,790 --> 01:11:31,260
Somebody must've put it... You!
1196
01:11:31,330 --> 01:11:34,050
- It was you! Kermit was right.
- Oh, no, no, no!
1197
01:11:34,130 --> 01:11:36,970
You're a phony! Yes, you are.
1198
01:11:37,050 --> 01:11:38,090
And you know what?
1199
01:11:38,170 --> 01:11:41,180
You can't even sing!
Your voice was dubbed.
1200
01:11:41,260 --> 01:11:43,350
Watch out, guys. Kermit!
1201
01:11:44,050 --> 01:11:46,230
Don't worry, Miss Piggy.
We'll get you out of this.
1202
01:11:46,680 --> 01:11:49,810
It just goes to show
you can't trust anybody.
1203
01:11:49,890 --> 01:11:51,730
Excuse me, Lady Holiday,
will you be hiring any more pigs?
1204
01:11:51,810 --> 01:11:54,810
Well, I shall certainly
think twice about it.
1205
01:11:54,900 --> 01:11:58,530
Kermit, find out if they'll
let me keep the costumes.
1206
01:11:58,860 --> 01:12:00,450
What about your most
famous piece of jewelry,
1207
01:12:00,530 --> 01:12:01,620
the fabulous Baseball Diamond?
1208
01:12:01,700 --> 01:12:04,370
As from Monday,
the fabulous Baseball Diamond
1209
01:12:04,450 --> 01:12:07,170
will go on permanent display
at the Mallory Gallery.
1210
01:12:07,240 --> 01:12:09,670
I shall never have it
either on my person
1211
01:12:09,750 --> 01:12:11,750
or in my possession again.
1212
01:12:11,830 --> 01:12:13,630
That's right.
It'll be in our possession.
1213
01:12:13,710 --> 01:12:15,800
Tuesday at midnight
we'll go to the Mallory Gallery.
1214
01:12:15,880 --> 01:12:17,840
The Baseball Diamond will be ours.
1215
01:12:21,090 --> 01:12:23,930
So there I was,
backstage under a table.
1216
01:12:24,220 --> 01:12:27,970
I was doing a little
photographic essay on kneecaps,
1217
01:12:28,060 --> 01:12:30,350
and I heard 'em planning
to steal the Baseball Diamond.
1218
01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:32,650
Bummer.
1219
01:12:32,730 --> 01:12:35,450
- So what's the plan, man?
- I already told you.
1220
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:37,770
Tuesday, midnight,
at the Mallory Gallery.
1221
01:12:37,860 --> 01:12:39,480
That's all I know.
1222
01:12:39,570 --> 01:12:41,440
You mean they're really gonna
try to steal the diamond?
1223
01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:51,960
Quiet!
1224
01:12:52,370 --> 01:12:54,720
"Look, Mother,
it's my life, okay?
1225
01:12:54,790 --> 01:12:57,630
"So if I want to live on a beach
and walk around naked..."
1226
01:12:58,750 --> 01:12:59,750
Oh.
1227
01:13:00,460 --> 01:13:02,760
Now, if we wanna get
Miss Piggy out of jail,
1228
01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:04,970
we're gonna have to catch
those thieves red-handed.
1229
01:13:05,430 --> 01:13:06,640
Yes, Beau?
1230
01:13:06,760 --> 01:13:08,390
What color are their hands now?
1231
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:13,560
Now, we're about to embark
on a potentially dangerous mission.
1232
01:13:13,640 --> 01:13:17,150
There could be physical violence,
there could be gunplay,
1233
01:13:17,230 --> 01:13:19,700
and there's a slightest chance
that somebody might even get killed.
1234
01:13:19,770 --> 01:13:22,400
So if anybody wants out,
now is the time to say it.
1235
01:13:23,280 --> 01:13:25,070
- I'm out.
- Me, too.
1236
01:13:25,280 --> 01:13:26,450
- Ditto.
- Meep.
1237
01:13:26,610 --> 01:13:30,370
Don't we have a gig around here,
or something or somewhere?
1238
01:13:30,450 --> 01:13:32,580
Yeah, sorry.
I got a dental appointment.
1239
01:13:32,660 --> 01:13:35,080
- It's like this, Kermit.
- I have to go to work all day.
1240
01:13:38,670 --> 01:13:40,390
Hold it!
1241
01:13:43,130 --> 01:13:45,850
Shame on you.
1242
01:13:47,260 --> 01:13:49,510
I thought we were
in this thing together.
1243
01:13:50,430 --> 01:13:54,940
I'm just as scared as you are,
but this has to be done.
1244
01:13:55,980 --> 01:13:59,030
We don't want the bad guys to win.
1245
01:14:00,150 --> 01:14:03,700
We've got to do
this for justice.
1246
01:14:03,780 --> 01:14:05,280
For freedom.
1247
01:14:05,360 --> 01:14:07,280
For honesty.
1248
01:14:09,780 --> 01:14:11,910
Boy, do I feel ashamed.
1249
01:14:11,990 --> 01:14:14,840
Me, too. I feel like two cents.
1250
01:14:16,500 --> 01:14:19,090
- I'm back in.
- You can count on me.
1251
01:14:19,170 --> 01:14:21,090
Oh, hey, I was only joking.
1252
01:14:21,170 --> 01:14:24,590
Yeah, it'll be a lot of fun
to go out there and risk our lives.
1253
01:14:24,960 --> 01:14:26,760
- Yeah!
- All for one and one for all.
1254
01:14:26,840 --> 01:14:28,090
Yeah!
1255
01:14:28,180 --> 01:14:31,730
At times like this
I am proud to be an American.
1256
01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:32,850
Hmm.
1257
01:14:33,890 --> 01:14:37,020
Thank you. I knew I could count
on each and every one of you.
1258
01:14:38,310 --> 01:14:39,610
Fozzie, are you okay?
1259
01:14:40,520 --> 01:14:42,820
That took a lot out of me.
1260
01:14:42,900 --> 01:14:46,490
Okay. Now we don't have any time
to waste, so everybody gather 'round.
1261
01:14:46,570 --> 01:14:49,370
And the first thing we have
to do is make our plans.
1262
01:14:49,490 --> 01:14:51,540
- Right.
- Whoa!
1263
01:14:53,070 --> 01:14:55,040
Or we could get some sleep.
1264
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:13,650
Miss Piggy?
1265
01:15:13,720 --> 01:15:14,720
What?
1266
01:15:14,890 --> 01:15:17,060
Your lawyer is here to see you.
1267
01:15:17,470 --> 01:15:19,980
Lawyer?
I don't have a lawyer.
1268
01:15:20,060 --> 01:15:23,060
Ah, sure you do. Little green guy.
1269
01:15:23,900 --> 01:15:27,200
Kermie! Oh! No wonder
he hasn't come by to see me.
1270
01:15:27,280 --> 01:15:29,030
He had to finish law school.
1271
01:15:40,460 --> 01:15:41,960
Oh, Kermit! Oh!
1272
01:15:42,040 --> 01:15:43,840
Two minutes, pig.
1273
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:47,600
Oh, Kermie.
Oh, I've missed you so.
1274
01:15:48,170 --> 01:15:50,050
Please.
The name is Rosenthal.
1275
01:15:50,670 --> 01:15:53,050
I'm your attorney. That's the only way
they'd let me in here.
1276
01:15:53,220 --> 01:15:55,100
Oh, right.
1277
01:15:55,180 --> 01:15:59,930
Oh, I've missed you so... Rosenthal.
It's been an eternity.
1278
01:16:00,560 --> 01:16:02,230
It's been 45 minutes.
1279
01:16:02,690 --> 01:16:04,980
Time goes slow in the cooler.
1280
01:16:05,060 --> 01:16:07,530
Well, I just want you to know
that we're gonna get you out of here,
1281
01:16:07,610 --> 01:16:09,830
'cause we're gonna catch
those thieves red-handed.
1282
01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:12,030
What color are their hands now?
1283
01:16:12,990 --> 01:16:15,710
I don't think this is the time
for that type of humor.
1284
01:16:16,070 --> 01:16:17,200
When you're in stir
1285
01:16:17,280 --> 01:16:19,960
you take the laughs
when you can get 'em, Rosenthal.
1286
01:16:20,410 --> 01:16:22,590
Yeah, well, anyway,
just stay put
1287
01:16:22,660 --> 01:16:25,510
because we've got a plan
and we're gonna prove you're innocent.
1288
01:16:25,580 --> 01:16:29,050
You see, tomorrow night,
precisely at midnight,
1289
01:16:29,130 --> 01:16:32,380
those thieves are gonna try to steal
Lady Holiday's Baseball Diamond
1290
01:16:32,470 --> 01:16:33,680
from the Mallory Gallery.
1291
01:16:33,760 --> 01:16:36,980
- And we're gonna stop 'em.
- Oh, Kermit, be careful.
1292
01:16:37,140 --> 01:16:39,480
Don't worry because
I've got Gonzo and Fozzie
1293
01:16:39,560 --> 01:16:42,030
and all our friends from
the Happiness Hotel to help.
1294
01:16:42,980 --> 01:16:44,820
- Those clowns?
- Mmm-hmm.
1295
01:16:44,940 --> 01:16:47,310
Great. I'll be stuck
in the big house for life.
1296
01:16:48,360 --> 01:16:50,580
"Big house"?
Is that prison talk?
1297
01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:53,910
Yeah, "big house,"
"squealer," "slammer."
1298
01:16:53,990 --> 01:16:56,330
That's the lingo
we use here in the joint.
1299
01:16:56,620 --> 01:17:00,170
Yeah. Well, you may
talk tough, Miss Piggy,
1300
01:17:00,240 --> 01:17:03,000
but underneath I know
you're still the same beautiful,
1301
01:17:03,080 --> 01:17:05,920
sensitive, vulnerable woman
I was out with the other night.
1302
01:17:06,330 --> 01:17:08,630
The one who scarfed down
all that caviar.
1303
01:17:10,500 --> 01:17:13,010
You have such a
way with words.
1304
01:17:13,090 --> 01:17:15,560
I love you, Rosenthal.
1305
01:17:29,770 --> 01:17:31,370
You're wearing my mustache.
1306
01:17:34,690 --> 01:17:38,290
Yeah, well, you have
mesh marks on your face.
1307
01:17:49,380 --> 01:17:51,300
- Glass cutter?
- Check.
1308
01:17:51,380 --> 01:17:53,850
- Nylon rope?
- Check.
1309
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:56,470
- Computer deprogrammer?
- Check.
1310
01:17:56,550 --> 01:17:58,550
- Stopwatch?
- Check.
1311
01:17:58,640 --> 01:18:00,810
- Pocket laser?
- Check.
1312
01:18:00,890 --> 01:18:03,480
- Infrared reflex?
- Check.
1313
01:18:03,560 --> 01:18:05,060
- Portable detonator?
- Check.
1314
01:18:05,730 --> 01:18:08,820
- Whoopee cushion?
- I think it's in the bus.
1315
01:18:08,900 --> 01:18:12,120
- Rubber raft?
- it's got holes in it.
1316
01:18:12,400 --> 01:18:14,320
Bag of chickens?
1317
01:18:15,820 --> 01:18:17,990
- Fake vomit?
- it's on order.
1318
01:18:19,110 --> 01:18:21,370
- Frisbee?
- Oh, uh, lost.
1319
01:18:21,740 --> 01:18:23,460
- Pneumatic drill?
- Check.
1320
01:18:23,540 --> 01:18:25,460
- Computer printout?
- Check.
1321
01:18:25,540 --> 01:18:27,590
- Radar gun?
- Check.
1322
01:18:27,660 --> 01:18:29,040
- Walkie-talkies?
- Check.
1323
01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:46,730
- Wax lips?
- Man, I just had 'em.
1324
01:18:46,810 --> 01:18:48,280
Did you leave them
in your other pants?
1325
01:18:48,350 --> 01:18:51,200
I don't have no other pants.
1326
01:18:51,270 --> 01:18:53,570
- Yoyo?
- For sure.
1327
01:18:54,230 --> 01:18:55,830
- Harpoon gun?
- That's you.
1328
01:18:55,900 --> 01:18:58,700
Check.
1329
01:18:58,780 --> 01:19:01,080
All right, team.
1330
01:19:01,160 --> 01:19:02,870
Let's go for it.
1331
01:19:03,370 --> 01:19:05,490
- Peanut butter?
- Animal ate it.
1332
01:19:06,080 --> 01:19:08,630
Sorry.
1333
01:19:09,330 --> 01:19:12,630
Well, Kermit, I guess that's it.
1334
01:19:13,250 --> 01:19:15,880
All right, everybody.
1335
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:17,710
Let's go for it.
1336
01:19:36,190 --> 01:19:37,240
Go for it!
1337
01:20:52,020 --> 01:20:53,060
Beauregard.
1338
01:20:53,140 --> 01:20:54,570
Back it up here.
1339
01:20:57,520 --> 01:20:58,770
Shh. Shh.
1340
01:20:58,860 --> 01:21:00,580
- Okay. Quiet.
- Shh!
1341
01:21:01,900 --> 01:21:04,400
Okay. You guys
all got your disguises in place?
1342
01:21:05,030 --> 01:21:06,080
Shh.
1343
01:21:06,990 --> 01:21:09,040
Wow.
1344
01:21:13,330 --> 01:21:14,580
Oh!
1345
01:21:32,520 --> 01:21:34,860
- Wow!
- Shh.
1346
01:21:34,930 --> 01:21:37,480
- I'm taking a picture.
- Shh.
1347
01:21:37,560 --> 01:21:39,410
Rowlf, hand me the blowtorch.
1348
01:21:39,480 --> 01:21:41,700
Blowtorch?
Who said anything about a blowtorch?
1349
01:21:41,770 --> 01:21:43,700
I got some paper towels.
1350
01:21:44,530 --> 01:21:45,820
How are we supposed
to cut through the bars
1351
01:21:45,900 --> 01:21:47,160
if nobody brought stuff to cut with?
1352
01:21:47,240 --> 01:21:50,620
I brought some hot mustard.
Maybe that'll eat through the bars.
1353
01:21:50,700 --> 01:21:52,290
Eat through the bars!
1354
01:21:52,370 --> 01:21:54,250
- Animal?
- What?
1355
01:21:54,330 --> 01:21:57,460
Hey. Why don't you see if you can
eat through these iron bars.
1356
01:21:57,540 --> 01:22:00,420
Eat through bars.
1357
01:22:11,470 --> 01:22:13,190
Goggy!
1358
01:22:13,260 --> 01:22:14,810
The cops!
1359
01:22:18,980 --> 01:22:22,860
Do you know where Lady Holiday's
Baseball Diamond is being kept?
1360
01:22:23,230 --> 01:22:26,660
Funnily enough, I do.
It's at the Mallory Gallery,
1361
01:22:26,740 --> 01:22:29,080
a virtually impregnable fortress,
1362
01:22:29,160 --> 01:22:31,410
- many miles from here.
- Oh.
1363
01:22:31,490 --> 01:22:33,370
I only have a half
an hour to get there.
1364
01:22:33,450 --> 01:22:35,450
On foot? You'll never make it.
1365
01:22:35,870 --> 01:22:37,540
I know. How about a ride?
1366
01:22:37,830 --> 01:22:39,420
You can read, I presume?
1367
01:22:41,790 --> 01:22:45,510
Oh, couldn't you
make an exception for little old moi?
1368
01:22:45,800 --> 01:22:48,520
Not even for little old vous.
1369
01:22:48,680 --> 01:22:51,930
- Pretty please?
- No!
1370
01:22:52,010 --> 01:22:53,930
I've tried to be nice.
1371
01:22:55,060 --> 01:22:56,810
- Huh?
- Hi-yah!
1372
01:23:02,860 --> 01:23:04,200
Hey.
1373
01:23:04,320 --> 01:23:06,190
What's all the racket?
1374
01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:08,240
What are you doing here?
1375
01:23:08,320 --> 01:23:09,950
A very brief cameo.
1376
01:23:10,950 --> 01:23:12,370
Me, too.
1377
01:23:41,390 --> 01:23:43,520
Breaker one, this is Hamhock.
Do you read me'?
1378
01:23:43,600 --> 01:23:45,070
Loud and clear, Hamhock.
1379
01:23:45,150 --> 01:23:47,820
This is Dirty Bird.
What's your 20, over?
1380
01:23:47,900 --> 01:23:50,400
Well, good buddy,
we're westbound out of Highgate.
1381
01:23:50,490 --> 01:23:52,660
Any smokies between me
and Blimeytown?
1382
01:23:52,740 --> 01:23:55,620
Negatory, Hamhock.
You're free and clear.
1383
01:23:55,700 --> 01:23:57,750
Ten-four, Dirty Bird. Much obliged.
1384
01:23:57,830 --> 01:24:00,250
We got the hammer down
and we gone.
1385
01:24:02,790 --> 01:24:05,010
I never ordered no pepperoni.
1386
01:24:05,080 --> 01:24:08,010
It's right here on the slip.
Medium pepperoni with double cheese.
1387
01:24:08,090 --> 01:24:09,890
That'sa right.
We don'ta make them,
1388
01:24:09,960 --> 01:24:11,510
- we justa deliver them.
- Mmm-hmm.
1389
01:24:11,590 --> 01:24:14,010
Somebody here called
Pizza Twins, and that's us.
1390
01:24:14,680 --> 01:24:16,100
What's the name on that slip?
1391
01:24:18,180 --> 01:24:19,270
Uh...
1392
01:24:20,600 --> 01:24:23,230
- What's your name?
- Henderson.
1393
01:24:24,270 --> 01:24:26,770
- That's it! That's the name on the slip.
- Ah.
1394
01:24:27,150 --> 01:24:28,270
Uh...
1395
01:24:28,650 --> 01:24:32,030
- But I hate pepperoni.
- I'll eat it.
1396
01:24:32,490 --> 01:24:34,290
- Stand by, guys.
- Right!
1397
01:24:38,370 --> 01:24:39,460
Ooh.
1398
01:24:42,960 --> 01:24:44,800
'Ere. Just one moment.
1399
01:24:46,040 --> 01:24:47,540
Can I see that slip?
1400
01:24:47,790 --> 01:24:48,760
Uh...
1401
01:24:48,840 --> 01:24:51,060
Uh, Well...
1402
01:24:51,130 --> 01:24:53,220
Actually, this is the wrong slip.
1403
01:24:53,300 --> 01:24:56,020
That slip, sir,
you said it had my name on it.
1404
01:24:56,090 --> 01:24:57,970
Oh, thata slip.
1405
01:24:58,050 --> 01:25:00,560
Uh, uh, uh, thata slip we left at home.
1406
01:25:00,640 --> 01:25:03,190
But we gota the pepperoni.
1407
01:25:03,270 --> 01:25:05,570
- But I hate pepperoni.
- Hate pepperoni. Right.
1408
01:25:05,650 --> 01:25:08,110
How about you could
feed it to the dogs?
1409
01:25:08,190 --> 01:25:10,160
Oh, yes. That'sa right.
Here, sir.
1410
01:25:10,230 --> 01:25:12,200
Oh, that's very thoughtful of you.
1411
01:25:12,280 --> 01:25:13,280
Thank you very much, sir.
1412
01:25:27,920 --> 01:25:30,390
What am I?
A glutton for punishment?
1413
01:25:41,760 --> 01:25:43,940
- Hey, Fozzie...
- Shh!
1414
01:25:44,020 --> 01:25:46,020
Fozzie,
how do we get in?
1415
01:25:46,100 --> 01:25:48,480
Why don't we just ring the doorbell?
1416
01:25:48,560 --> 01:25:50,570
No, no, no. There's
got to be another way.
1417
01:25:50,650 --> 01:25:52,280
Well, you'd better
think of it pretty quick.
1418
01:25:52,360 --> 01:25:54,360
Those dogs have nearly
finished the pizza.
1419
01:25:55,400 --> 01:25:56,700
I know. The roof.
1420
01:25:57,110 --> 01:26:00,120
Oh, man.
No way we'll ever get up there.
1421
01:26:33,230 --> 01:26:34,320
Phew.
1422
01:26:34,400 --> 01:26:37,070
So far I'm not having any fun.
1423
01:26:37,150 --> 01:26:38,660
Let me talk to 'em.
1424
01:26:39,660 --> 01:26:40,910
Woof woof.
Woof woof.
1425
01:26:46,200 --> 01:26:47,830
it helps to know
a second language.
1426
01:26:50,000 --> 01:26:52,050
It's nearly midnight.
1427
01:26:52,130 --> 01:26:53,420
What am I going to do?
1428
01:26:54,750 --> 01:26:56,850
Hey! Hey, you! Hey!
1429
01:27:07,480 --> 01:27:09,690
What an unbelievable coincidence.
1430
01:27:28,960 --> 01:27:31,330
Now, this window probably
has an alarm system on it.
1431
01:27:31,420 --> 01:27:33,960
Ah, my assistant Beaker
will check it out.
1432
01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:35,800
Go on, Beaker.
1433
01:27:51,810 --> 01:27:54,990
Very good, Beaker.
Now it's perfectly safe.
1434
01:27:55,060 --> 01:27:57,990
Oh, good.
Animal, do your stuff.
1435
01:28:05,700 --> 01:28:07,500
Sorry.
1436
01:28:17,500 --> 01:28:20,430
There it is.
The fabulous Baseball Diamond.
1437
01:28:23,470 --> 01:28:25,060
How are we
gonna get down there?
1438
01:28:25,140 --> 01:28:26,930
I suggest we jump.
1439
01:28:27,010 --> 01:28:29,480
Are you crazy?
That's about a hundred feet.
1440
01:28:29,560 --> 01:28:31,980
I didn't say it was
a good suggestion.
1441
01:28:32,060 --> 01:28:34,360
Maybe we could jump partway.
1442
01:28:41,690 --> 01:28:43,320
Oh, boy, what do we do now?
1443
01:28:43,400 --> 01:28:46,530
We're just gonna have to go down there
and catch those thieves red-handed.
1444
01:28:46,620 --> 01:28:48,870
What color are their hands now?
1445
01:29:00,170 --> 01:29:02,300
We'll just have to improvise.
1446
01:29:02,380 --> 01:29:04,480
We'll make a ladder out of
whatever will hold us.
1447
01:29:04,550 --> 01:29:07,650
Good idea. Here's the paper towels.
1448
01:29:10,350 --> 01:29:12,730
I'm coming, Kermie!
1449
01:29:18,900 --> 01:29:21,240
Well, you wanted excitement.
1450
01:30:16,080 --> 01:30:18,080
Excuse me, I don't think
that belongs to you.
1451
01:30:23,420 --> 01:30:24,800
Say cheese!
1452
01:30:28,220 --> 01:30:30,470
Woman!
1453
01:30:30,550 --> 01:30:32,020
Hey, nice catch, Animal.
1454
01:30:32,970 --> 01:30:35,820
- Heads up, Lew.
- Over here, Rowlf! Yeah, got it!
1455
01:30:35,890 --> 01:30:37,810
Hot potato! Keep away.
Here we go.
1456
01:30:40,810 --> 01:30:43,410
I got it. Thank you.
Be careful, guys.
1457
01:30:43,480 --> 01:30:45,160
Catch it. Get him!
1458
01:30:48,820 --> 01:30:50,070
Still got a good eye.
1459
01:30:50,160 --> 01:30:53,410
Welcome to the wild world
of Muppet sports.
1460
01:30:53,490 --> 01:30:55,920
This is Louis Kazagger
with a play-by-play
1461
01:30:56,000 --> 01:30:57,170
- of the game.
- Woman!
1462
01:30:57,250 --> 01:31:00,130
And it looks like ladies' night
here at the gallery.
1463
01:31:00,210 --> 01:31:03,010
- Peekaboo.
- Hey! Ba-ba-do-be-bop.
1464
01:31:03,250 --> 01:31:05,350
Okay. Here she comes, boy!
1465
01:31:13,800 --> 01:31:17,150
Hey, way to chuck,
way to look, way to move!
1466
01:31:17,220 --> 01:31:20,190
Popcorn, popcorn.
Get your red-hot popcorn.
1467
01:31:27,860 --> 01:31:29,080
Popcorn, chicken?
1468
01:31:29,780 --> 01:31:32,080
Woman!
1469
01:31:33,740 --> 01:31:35,210
Woman!
1470
01:31:35,830 --> 01:31:37,290
Okay, okay.
1471
01:31:37,370 --> 01:31:39,710
Lew Zealand leads off the order
as we join the game.
1472
01:31:39,870 --> 01:31:40,870
Whoa!
1473
01:31:42,370 --> 01:31:43,880
Chuck it to me, Beakie baby.
1474
01:31:43,960 --> 01:31:45,300
Pitchy witchy, Beaker.
1475
01:31:45,380 --> 01:31:48,100
Pitcher, you couldn't hit
the broad side of a barn!
1476
01:31:48,510 --> 01:31:50,220
Picture of the pitcher.
1477
01:31:50,300 --> 01:31:52,050
Wait for what you want, Lew, baby.
1478
01:31:52,760 --> 01:31:54,100
Rah, rah, rah!
1479
01:31:54,220 --> 01:31:55,890
Beaker goes into the windup.
1480
01:31:56,970 --> 01:31:58,320
It's the pitch.
1481
01:31:58,720 --> 01:32:01,270
It's a high fly ball to Kermit the Frog.
1482
01:32:01,350 --> 01:32:04,730
I got it. I got it. I got it.
1483
01:32:05,730 --> 01:32:07,530
Hey, gimme that diamond,
you crook.
1484
01:32:08,980 --> 01:32:10,950
Come on, guys. Get him.
1485
01:32:11,030 --> 01:32:12,910
- All right. Back off!
- Ooh!
1486
01:32:14,410 --> 01:32:16,160
But, Nicky, why are you doing this?
1487
01:32:16,240 --> 01:32:19,370
Why am I doing this? Because
I'm a villain. It's pure and simple.
1488
01:32:19,450 --> 01:32:23,130
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Holiday, sir.
Would you let Kermit go?
1489
01:32:23,210 --> 01:32:25,430
If you hold him too long
he'll just give you warts.
1490
01:32:25,540 --> 01:32:27,140
Oh, no. He's coming with us.
1491
01:32:27,210 --> 01:32:28,880
Come on, girls. Let's get out of here.
1492
01:32:50,320 --> 01:32:51,530
Hi-yah!
1493
01:32:56,620 --> 01:32:57,910
Hi-yah!
1494
01:33:00,490 --> 01:33:01,920
- Hi-yah!
- Ow!
1495
01:33:02,960 --> 01:33:04,130
Watch out!
1496
01:33:04,210 --> 01:33:05,380
Miss Piggy!
1497
01:33:05,460 --> 01:33:07,300
Yeah! Way to go!
1498
01:33:08,920 --> 01:33:10,890
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
1499
01:33:26,650 --> 01:33:27,990
Bye-bye.
1500
01:33:31,030 --> 01:33:34,150
- You were magnificent, Miss Piggy.
- I did it all for you.
1501
01:33:34,240 --> 01:33:35,610
- Could I have just a moment?
- Oh, thank you.
1502
01:33:35,700 --> 01:33:37,070
Por nada.
1503
01:33:38,070 --> 01:33:39,120
Oh.
1504
01:33:39,990 --> 01:33:42,840
- I really did care for you, you know.
- I know.
1505
01:33:42,910 --> 01:33:45,420
We could've had the world
on a silver platter.
1506
01:33:46,000 --> 01:33:48,550
That silver's turned to iron bars,
Nicky.
1507
01:33:49,000 --> 01:33:50,470
Don't hate me,
Miss Piggy.
1508
01:33:50,540 --> 01:33:54,300
Oh, I don't. It's just that
somehow along the road
1509
01:33:54,380 --> 01:33:56,680
I found out the difference
between wrong and right.
1510
01:33:57,090 --> 01:33:59,140
You're wrong...
1511
01:33:59,220 --> 01:34:00,690
He's right.
1512
01:34:05,060 --> 01:34:07,400
Huh.
Would you believe it, Statler?
1513
01:34:07,520 --> 01:34:10,440
They're heroes.
Now they're gonna be obnoxious.
1514
01:34:10,520 --> 01:34:13,490
So what else is new?
1515
01:34:13,570 --> 01:34:15,950
Well, I say all's well that ends well.
1516
01:34:16,030 --> 01:34:18,280
It doesn't matter to me
as long as it ends.
1517
01:34:26,120 --> 01:34:28,840
it was nice of The Chronicle
to pay for our flight home.
1518
01:34:28,920 --> 01:34:32,420
Yeah, but a man should be
treated better than his luggage.
1519
01:34:32,500 --> 01:34:35,130
Yeah, well, my luggage
was sucked out the door.
1520
01:34:35,210 --> 01:34:37,220
Luckily my radio's frozen to my wrist.
1521
01:34:38,430 --> 01:34:41,850
Okay, guys.
Everybody out for the USA.
1522
01:34:41,930 --> 01:34:44,150
Oh, boy. How close are we?
1523
01:34:44,220 --> 01:34:46,520
Oh, about 30,000 feet.
1524
01:34:46,600 --> 01:34:48,230
- You mean...
- Yup.
1525
01:34:49,060 --> 01:34:50,780
Happy landing!
1526
01:34:52,270 --> 01:34:53,440
Whoa!
1527
01:34:54,190 --> 01:34:56,320
Come on, carrot top.
1528
01:35:08,580 --> 01:35:11,960
- We've had comedy
- We've had mystery
1529
01:35:12,040 --> 01:35:15,390
We've had a real good time
and solved a crime real easily
1530
01:35:15,460 --> 01:35:19,060
- Hey, a movie
- I just can't believe they did it
1531
01:35:19,130 --> 01:35:22,480
- Starring everybody
- And me!
1532
01:35:22,550 --> 01:35:26,230
- There was spectacle
- There was fantasy
1533
01:35:26,310 --> 01:35:29,360
- Where we took a chance
- And saw romance end happily
1534
01:35:29,440 --> 01:35:30,440
In a movie
1535
01:35:30,520 --> 01:35:31,520
Oh, Kermie!
1536
01:35:31,600 --> 01:35:33,070
I just love a happy ending
1537
01:35:33,150 --> 01:35:37,030
- One for everybody
Everybody
1538
01:35:37,110 --> 01:35:40,490
- Everybody
- Everybody
1539
01:35:40,570 --> 01:35:44,000
- Everybody
- Everybody
1540
01:35:44,070 --> 01:35:47,120
Everybody in the world
1541
01:35:47,200 --> 01:35:48,830
- And me.
- And me.
1542
01:35:48,950 --> 01:35:50,550
- And me.
- And me.
1543
01:35:50,620 --> 01:35:52,470
- And me.
- And me.
1544
01:35:52,580 --> 01:35:54,260
And me.
1545
01:35:55,090 --> 01:35:56,300
And me.
1546
01:35:56,960 --> 01:35:58,510
- And me.
- And me.
1547
01:35:58,590 --> 01:36:00,310
- And me.
- And me.
1548
01:36:00,380 --> 01:36:02,010
And me.
1549
01:36:02,090 --> 01:36:03,890
- And me.
- And me.
1550
01:36:05,550 --> 01:36:06,850
And me.
1551
01:36:26,490 --> 01:36:30,000
Just warmer and colder
1552
01:36:30,290 --> 01:36:33,840
Than springtime or snow
1553
01:36:34,080 --> 01:36:39,090
The first time it happens, you know
1554
01:36:44,130 --> 01:36:47,760
And so you fall
1555
01:36:47,850 --> 01:36:51,270
And how complete it is
1556
01:36:51,350 --> 01:36:55,900
And for each moment that it lasts
1557
01:36:55,980 --> 01:36:59,320
How sweet it is
1558
01:37:39,520 --> 01:37:42,740
Wait a minute!
Wait! Hold it right there.
1559
01:37:42,860 --> 01:37:44,740
Don't go home yet.
1560
01:37:45,320 --> 01:37:46,740
Say cheese.
1561
01:37:49,030 --> 01:37:50,330
I'll send you each a copy.114011