Original subtitles

[shaking paint can]

[spraying]

[shaking can]

[spraying]

[shaking can]

[spraying]

[shaking can]

[spraying]

Pray

And pray

That your country

Undergoes recovery

Use

The power

Taste the bliss

Harvest salvation

[engine starts]

[drumbeat]

[young man] Ahem.

Journal entry for April 13th.

Day like any other.

The first day of the rest of my life.

I had Hostess Ho Hos for breakfast.

Stopped off at Aron's

and bought the new Dead Can Dance CD.

Got the results from my first AIDS test.

Positive.

Sorry.

Now let me explain what this means.

The test only verifies

that you have the antibodies to the virus.

And as you're probably aware,

many people live perfectly healthy, normal lives

for years and years,

so by no means

should you consider this a death sentence.

And no doubt you've heard of so-called safe sex,

which, as a member of a high-risk group,

you ought to be practicing anyway.

Now I just have no idea

of what the fuck I'm going to do.

[hard rock on car radio]

Live fast, die young,

leave a beautiful corpse.

Yeah, right.

Death is weird.

I want to go to hell

So what's your name,

you sexy slab of buff beefcake?

Luke.

Luke?

Doesn't that rhyme with puke?

I'm sure, Fern.

Don't be so fucking rude

to our new traveling companion.

My name is Daisy.

And this cranky cunt with the teeth

is Fern.

Nice to meet you.

Where are you headed?

Wherever.

Oh, my.

A nomadic drifter.

A lonesome cowboy

hitching across the country

like Jack Kerouac.

How romantic.

Isn't that just fucking romantic, Fern?

Stuff it, Daisy.

You just want to play hide the weenie with him,

and you know it.

Don't get your panties all in a knot, Fern.

You know I only have eyes for you.

Bullshit.

All you got on your mind

is that dumb pig's tool.

I don't know what you're talking about.

His tool.

You know,

his penis,

his pecker,

his prick,

his peter,

his poker, his pussy plunger.

You mean his wang, his hot dog,

his dingus, his bologna pony,

his smiling meat puppet,

his love gun?

[brakes screech] Hey!

All right, Daisy,

I'm going to blow his fucking face to smithereens.

Sweetie pie, put the heat away.

Why would I be interested

petit little taste of Vienna sausage?

Daisy, I've had it

with your lascivious flirtatiousness.

At least shoot this one in the fucking head.

The last guy she killed,

she shot him in the cock.

Took him 12 hours to die.

All that squealing and bleeding

I couldn't fucking stand it.

What do you got to tell him that for?

Now I got to kill him.

So what?

Then there was this other guy.

She slams an ice pick this fucking big

up his asshole.

At least he was bound and gagged

so he didn't make so much fucking noise.

Would you please shut up?

Jesus.

You got me so agitated with all this talk,

I got to pee.

What? Again?

You must have a bladder

the size of a seedless grape.

It's all that fucking Diet Coke.

Here. You hold the gun on him.

I'm going to go take a piss.

Give me the toilet paper.

Oh. Here.

Aw, moopsie.

[kiss]

Mmm, moopsies.

Now don't kill him until I get back.

And no more flirting.

I just love it when she gets jealous.

You know, she shouldn't go out there alone.

There's snakes in those bushes.

You must think I'm real stupid.

Fern can take care of herself.

You'd better believe it.

[screaming]

Moopsie!

[screaming continues]

Snakes.

Another death.

Another gruesome killing.

It's not like I'm kicking the bucket

right this second.

No, I just can't believe it.

I mean, you were careful, right?

Yeah, I mean, um...

most of the time.

It was Craig, wasn't it?

I never trusted that guy.

I told you his karma sucked.

I don't know if it was Craig.

I don't know who it was.

I'm not blaming anybody yet, except myself.

I'm--

I just heard he was sick,

and I thought I should, you know,

go to the doctor and--

Is he still in New York?

Uh, he moved to his parents' in Utah.

[groans]

That's a fucking fate worse than death.

Listen, you know, um...

I'm here for you when-- whenever--

Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

I think I'm going to be fine, really.

I just need to lay off

those Joy Division records for a while.

...by ultraconservative whites.

Fuck.

Don't these wenches listen to anything else

besides K.D. Lang and Michelle Shocked?

[blow-out]

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

[door unlocks]

[squeaking]

[squeaks]

[squeak squeak]

[squeaks]

Where's the party...Adam?

[whimpering]

15-love.

30-love.

[tape rewinding]

Death is weird.

[rewinding]

[phone rings]

[ring]

Hello.

[man] Are you ready

What?

Are you horny?

Do you want to get off?

Who is this? Where did you

The Bulletin Board.

You mean like one of those 976 things?

Uh-huh. So what do you look like?

This is a joke, right?

Who is this, really?

Are you hard?

What?

What are you wearing?

Uh, look, I got to go.

How big is your cock?

I don't think that's any of your business.

Why? Don't you want to get off?

No. Maybe some other time.

Sorry.

[door opens]

[snoring]

[door opens]

[woman] Oh, my God!

Oh, shit.

Ken, I thought we were finished

with this little phase.

I had a relapse. Sorry.

It's-- It's not the '70s anymore

when being married to a bisexual

I just can't take this anymore, Ken.

I can't take this anymore.

Aah!

[barks]

We, the people of the United States,

in order to form a more perfect union,

establish justice,

ensure domestic tranquility,

provide for the most common defense,

promote for the general welfare--

And secure the blessings of liberty--

Liberty.

To ourselves and to poster--

pos-- posterity.

Posterity!

Do ordain and establish this Constitution

for the United States of America.

Congress--

Shall make--

No law respecting--

[footsteps approaching]

Prepare to swallow your teeth, faggot.

Oh, shit.

It's cosmetic surgery time, honey.

Guess again, fucking Three Stooges.

[bat clanks]

[gunshot]

[gunshots]

[gunshot] [bat clanks]

Well...now what?

He was sensitive

In his sensitive way

Go, Dad. Just fucking go, please!

Go!

They were trying to kill me.

The motherfuckers were going to kill me.

Who? What?

These butt-ugly motherfuckers,

with baseball bats.

Do you want me to call the police?

Fuck the police.

Well, uh, do you want me to take you someplace?

Yeah. Off this fucking insane planet.

You got a second choice?

Well, where do you live? I'll take you home.

Well...

I'm kind of in between places at the moment.

Oh, great. Fuck.

What-- Where do you want me to drop you?

I don't know.

Well, think. There's got to be someplace.

I don't know! Fuck.

I don't care. It doesn't really matter, all right?

Just stop the car here

and dump me off, all right?

I just don't give a fuck anymore.

[door unlocks]

How am I supposed to know

you aren't some sort of, like, homicidal maniac

who's going to bludgeon me to death

and, like, rip off my CD collection

I guess you're just going to have to trust me.

Why do I not find that so very reassuring?

So, are you going to smoke that thing?

I don't smoke.

Cigarettes.

Whatever.

I'm going to go get you a blanket.

So tomorrow morning you're out of here, right?

You're a memory.

You're behind the wheel.

Don't I even get breakfast or anything?

Coffee, maybe.

Orange juice if you're real lucky.

Hey, what is this stuff?

What?

Oh. Just a bunch of shit I'm using

for this article I'm writing on the death of cinema.

What, you, like, uh, review movies or something?

Yeah, when all else fails.

You know what they say: those who can't do teach,

and those who can't teach get paid 25 cents a word

to rip other people's work to shreds.

Oh.

No, thanks.

Are you a fish freak, too?

Uh, it's my ex's, actually.

Um, I just wound up with custody.

So what's his name?

Who? The fish or my ex?

Both.

Craig. Both.

Hey, you-- you mind if I grab a shower?

No. Go ahead. There's-- There's towels--

There's-- There's towels in on the, um--

The rack?

Rack. Can I get you something else?

Like milk and cookies?

Uh, can I have a little bit of that?

Change of heart.

[coughing]

Thanks a lot.

Don't mention it.

Well, good night.

Good night.

[radio plays]

Go ahead. Make yourself at home.

Yo.

A bit paranoid, are we?

Well, I thought I'd hold off on the shower.

And I was wondering

if maybe you'd like another drink.

[coughing]

You want to know what it is

I like best about guys' bodies?

Glad you asked.

Well, you see, they got this line

running right through the middle of them,

dividing their torsos in two.

It starts up here,

around the V of the collar bone,

and it goes down towards the middle of their pecs,

and then it traces itself over the tummy,

and then it kind of disappears,

End of anatomy lesson.

Is that thoroughly killer or what?

Hey, you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

I guess it's just, uh--

You want me to stop?

Definitely not.

I-- I just think you should know that--

What?

I-- I found out this afternoon that, uh...

If you're trying to say what I think you are,

don't worry about it.

It's really no big deal.

Welcome to the club, partner.

Breakfast is served.

Oh, really?

On the kitchen table, I mean.

So I'm serious, dude.

I mean, we're both going to die--

maybe in ten years, maybe next week.

So we--

I mean, but it's not I want to live forever

and get old and fat and die

in this ugly, stupid world anyway.

I mean, we're victims of the sexual revolution.

The generation before us had all the fun,

and we get to pick up the fucking tab.

Anybody who got fucked before safe sex is fucked.

I think it's all part

of the neo-Nazi Republican final solution.

Germ warfare, you know?

Mm-hmm.

[belches]

Genocide.

And you're calling me paranoid.

I'm not paranoid. You're paranoid.

I'm not paranoid.

Not moi. You are paranoid,

So, like, figure this.

There's thousands, maybe millions of us

walking around with this thing inside of us,

this time bomb ticking, you know?

Making our futures finite.

Suddenly I realize we got nothing to lose.

We can say "Fuck work."

Fuck the system.

Fuck everything.

Uh-huh.

Don't you get it?

We're totally free.

We can do whatever the fuck we want to do.

Like what?

So what?

Who is this Ken Robinson?

A friend let me borrow it.

It's my uncle.

[jon] I think we ought to feel

at least a little guilty.

What the fuck for?

We still got $1,700 on the credit card.

So what happens if we get caught?

I never get caught.

You're a fucking madman.

Hey. Watch it.

Fags.

Come on. Excuse me?

I said you know what AIDS stands for?

Adios, infected dick suckers.

Forget it, okay? Come on.

Come on.

Cocksuckers. Forget it.

The asshole's not worth the bother.

Okay? Come on.

You son of a bitch, you son of a bitch

Fucking dick.

[blows landing]

Are you out of your fucking mind?

Shit happens, man.

He deserved it.

Now the fucker's dead, too.

Tell me you didn't want to see that fucker's head split open.

I think you'd better go now.

Read my lips, dude.

Get the fuck out of my house!

Okay.

Jesus Christ.

[squeak]

[typing]

[phone rings]

[ring]

Yeah. Hello.

So...are you ready to get off yet?

Would you just get a fucking life?

I don't know what it is with you

and guys that turn out to be bona fide

I don't know. It must be fate.

Hmm.

I mean, this is not my imagination, right?

Does it seem to you like I attract trouble

like-- like shit attracts flies?

That's a lovely way to put it.

It's true.

Ah, I just can't get him out of my head.

Just thinking about him gives me a fucking boner.

The way he smells,

the way it feels to touch him.

Gross me out, why don't you?

Sorry.

I don't know. Um...

I think I'm--

I'm just really, really needy right now.

It's either that

or it's just plain old-fashioned...

horniness.

You want to sleep over?

We can stay up all night

and go to Millie's for breakfast.

Nah. I, uh...

I gotta finish that fucking article.

You going to be okay?

Nope.

Do you blame me for worrying

[sigh]

No.

Darce, really,

it's getting to be like...

"rally around the fag."

Got any spare change?

Sorry.

Fucking tightwad posers.

Hey.

Hi.

What are you doing still up?

What time is it?

It's late.

I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep again.

Do you want a pill?

No.

Want to make some noises?

I'm really worried about Jon.

Darce.

You know,

he's acting like everything's okay,

I've never seen him so lost before.

Darce, it's hardly like he's

the most well-adjusted person in the world to start with.

What's that supposed to mean?

I mean we're talking about a guy

who went into severe depression for two weeks

when Echo and the Bunnymen broke up.

So?

And it was only a week and a half.

Let's go to bed.

I think I'm going to work for a while.

Whatever.

Are we totally out of cigarettes again?

[helicopter passing overhead]

Where did you get this from?

What's-- What's wrong, huh?

Hey.

I've blown it, man.

I've totally fucking blown it.

What happened?

I think I killed a cop.

What?

I mean, you think you killed a cop.

What do you mean,

you think you killed a cop?

I don't know.

I mean, I didn't check his pulse or anything,

But...

looked like dead pork to me.

You got to help me.

Help you do what?

Get away.

To-- What? To where?

I've got a friend up north.

We can stay there for a while,

at least, I know, I mean, until--

Why me?

You're the only person I know.

Oh, tell me this is just a nightmare.

[helicopter approaching]

Ahem. Here's your change.

That's all?

I had to get supplies.

You sure we got to do this?

Dude, come on. It's going to be rad.

A big adventure.

[jon] So, uh, what actually happens

once we get to San Francisco?

I'll figure something out.

Oh, great.

And just to think, 48 hours ago,

I was just another bummed-out HIV-positive homo

minding my own business.

Now I'm a fugitive

driving to God-fuck knows where

in the middle of the night,

facing an accessory to a murder rap.

Yeah, well,

the world is a big, confusing place, isn't it?

Seven hours bound in the cords of love

What time is it?

I don't know. It's like 5 something. I--

You tired? Want me to drive a while?

Yeah. Would you?

Sure.

Seven hours bound in the cords of love

[brakes screech]

[luke] You can go ahead

Oh, God, I'm so beat.

[laughing]

Hey, if your hands are freezing,

would you at least keep them on the wheel?

[cassette ejects]

Man, that stuff was putting me to sleep.

Do you want to just concentrate on driving?

[inserts cassette]

[hard rock]

Thanks for the nice relaxing nap music.

Oh. Sorry.

Hey, did you ever hear of using one lane

Huh?

Hey.

You're a bad enough driver as it is.

I really don't want to end my life

splattered on the pavement out here

in wherever the fuck--

East Bum Fuck--

Hey, look out! [horn honks]

Don't spaz out, man.

Jesus Christ, you're going to give me

Where did you get your license, Beirut?

What license?

Well, we ought to be all right here

Good, because I got to take a piss.

[urinating]

Uhh...

Fuck, it's freezing out there.

I thought my dick was going to break off

like an icicle.

Oh, that would be a pity.

Mmm.

You want to get in back?

Yeah, I guess.

[laughing] Ow. Whoa. Watch out.

Ohh...

So are we having fun yet?

I'm wild about you, guy.

Whatever you say.

Oh, great. What do you mean you lost his phone number?

Don't have a cardiac, Mr. Old Man.

I know the way, all right?

Just get off at the next exit.

Oh, why do I have this horrible sinking feeling

in the pit of my stomach?

It's probably the fries.

All right. So I'll be back in a flash.

[buzzing]

Yo, Gus.

How's it hanging, dude?

Hey, man, don't you remember me?

Come on, Gus. Gay Pride parade--

two, maybe three years ago?

I can't believe we drive all the fucking night long.

Look, I said I'll figure something out, all right?

So now what?

Now where do we go?

Wherever!

Here. There. This way.

I don't care.

What difference does it make?

All I know is if I don't take a shower

and brush my teeth in about two minutes,

I'm gonna-- I'm gonna fucking kill myself.

I'm a fag, okay? I can't stand being dirty.

Feel better now, princess?

Piss off.

I thought we were through

with the little Clint Eastwood routine.

It's protection.

It's my security blanket.

What the hell are those?

What?

They're my favorites.

You are weird, aren't you?

I'm weird? I'm weird? That's a good one.

Yeah. You are.

what do you say we go to Washington

and blow Bush's brains out?

There is a great idea.

Can you at least hide that thing?

Or better yet,

we can hold him at gunpoint,

inject him with a syringe full of our blood.

[chuckles]

How much you want to bet

they'd have a magic cure by tomorrow?

I said put the gun away, man.

At least be a little discreet with it.

I got to go make a phone call.

[techno]

See his hands?

Look at the fingers

See his hands? [phone rings]

See his hands?

[ring] See his hands?

[ring]

Wait.

[ring]

Hello.

Excuse me. I'm sorry. Hello?

Yes, I will accept the charges.

Jon, what the fuck?

Where are you?

Yeah, it's a long fucking story.

Uh...

Yeah, he c-- he came back,

and yes--

Yeah, we're in a shitload of trouble.

Uh, I don't know. Somewhere--

All I know is that we're somewhere outside

Yeah. Yeah, listen, Darce,

I need you to do me a favor, okay?

Um, Alberto. Can you call Alberto

and tell him that I need a deadline extension

on the article.

Yeah, yeah.

And the rent was due last week.

Uh, the mail--

Could you feed Craig?

Jon, what the fuck is going on?

Have you totally lost your mind?

I don't know, but I sincerely think I have.

All I know is that I have bitten off

more than I can gag on, that's for sure.

Look, D-- Darce, I can't talk right now, okay?

Uh, Darce, I got to go, okay?

I can't talk.

Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow.

I'll call you tomorrow, okay?

No. I'll be fine. Okay?

Good-bye.

[luke] Well, I give up.

Huh?

I can't think of any place else for us to go.

Let's just go around, you know?

I mean, hang out. We'll see--

Get a clue. This is not a vacation.

We're supposed to be on the run here.

Why don't we just park somewhere and have sex?

You don't think about anything else, do you?

Why bother?

Besides, I got a chub.

You have a what?

A chub-- you know, a boner.

A boner. Oh, right.

Go ahead, feel.

I'm not going to fondle your crotch right now.

Why not?

Because I'm a responsible driver.

[dance rock]

Well, I think there ought to be enough in this account

to keep us going at least until we figure out

what the fuck we're doing.

Outstanding.

[beeps, rewinding]

[beeps]

Hi, Jon. This is Tammy

from the Outreach Clinic.

Dr. Saford would like to talk with you

about some counseling centers

which can hopefully get you the help you need.

Please give me a call here at (818) 954-4776.

[beep]

[man] Yeah, dude,

where the fuck are you?

I've got these Revolting Cocks tickets for Friday,

and this one-time-only offer expires at midnight,

so you better call me.

Did I take my Nitzer Ebb CD?

Anyway, later.

[beep]

[darce] Hi. It's me, the worrywart.

Just calling to see if you want to maybe

go to that thing at Lace on Saturday.

I know we both swore

we'd never go near performance art again

as long as we lived,

but Peter said Isabella is doing a piece

and, well, it be just for a laugh or something,

so-- ahem-- call me, please,

and let me know, okay?

Talk to you later.

[giggling]

[click, beep]

[panting]

Wait. Hold on.

What?

Don't come yet.

I want to ask you something.

What, right now?

If you had to choose...

which would you rather die for,

sex...or love?

What are you talking about?

No, come on. I'm curious.

You're drunk.

Out of your fucking mind is more like it.

So do you mind if we, uh,

continue this discussion a little bit later?

I'm starting to lose my hard-on.

I really hate guys who talk during sex.

Did I ever mention that?

Mm-mmm.

[jon] These are notes

This whole thing is, um, so surreal.

It's like some bizarre

quasi-dream within a dream.

It's like I've fallen through the looking glass,

never to return again.

What'cha doing?

Uh, it's, um-- It's sort of like a journal.

You know, I keep notes of things

and stuff I think about.

What the fuck for?

Well, I use it for my work, for one.

You know, for my writing.

Sounds bogus to me.

Pass that tanning butter, will you?

Good catch.

Thanks.

Ahem.

Oh, fuck.

Shit.

What?

Ah, the fucking batteries are dead.

Oh, great fucking loss.

Oh, that's pretty.

Didn't your mom ever teach you

to eat with your mouth shut?

My mom got killed by a garbage truck

when I was about 3.

[man] You fucking whore!

Shut up!

You slut! Fucking whore!

I said shut the fuck up!

[crying]

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Uh, have you-- have you read this--

Have you seen this phrase?

[woman crying]

You fucking kook. Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah. You're a fucking whore.

Go ahead, whore. Try hitting me again--

Let me go!

Fucking whore!

Let me go, slimy scumbag!

Hey.

[both] What the fuck are

Mind your own fucking business!

Creep. Sorry.

[muttering]

Aah!

[screaming, sobbing]

[shower running]

[luke] Put it inside me.

[jon] Honest?

Put it in.

I haven't got a condom.

I don't care.

Wait a minute.

Here.

What do you want me to do?

When I start to come, choke me.

What?

Come on.

[coughing]

Yes.

So was that as good for you as it was for me?

Would you shut the fuck up?

You think we ever met before?

What do you mean,

like in another life or something?

Yeah.

[laughing] Fuck, no.

What do you think happens after, uh--

After what?

You know, after we croak.

I don't know.

To tell you the truth,

I never think about it.

I'd like to think it's going to be better than here.

I mean, how could it get much worse?

There's nothing out there.

It's just black, cold nothingness.

The entire concept of the afterlife

is just this pathetic notion

in order to avoid confronting their

I mean, we're just fucking animals,

You think amoebas sit around

and contemplate what heaven is like?

I don't know. I never asked one.

[phone rings]

[ring]

Hello.

Yes, I'll accept the charges.

Yeah, Darce.

Look, I'm sorry to keep calling you collect.

I just-- I don't have the 37.50 in exact change.

Um...

Wyoming, maybe. I don't know.

Siberia. Pluto. I have no idea.

I've been worried sick about you, you dork.

I can't eat. I can't sleep. My face has broken out.

I'm driving Peter crazy.

This is worse than PMS.

When are you coming home?

Soon, I hope.

Darce, would you stop worrying about me?

Yes, I know that I have made the worst mistake of my life.

Well, at this point, it really doesn't matter.

I'm just trying to take things day by day.

Take it day by day?

What, have you been brainwashed

Well, the whole world's spiraling out of control.

I think Mars must be in Sag.

Darce, I don't know how to describe it.

It's like--

It's like nothing's--

nothing is the same anymore.

Everything has changed.

It's-- No, I am not on Ecstasy, you wench.

Look, Darce, I got to go.

I got-- I got to go.

No, I'll call you in a couple of days, okay?

Don't worry about me. I'll be fine, really.

Yeah, okay, good-bye.

I'm going to kill you!

Did I ever tell you about the time

I saw this bag lady jump off a skyscraper?

It was at the corner of Hollywood and Vine

during rush hour.

Man, it was just like in the movies.

This big crowd gathered around.

The cops came.

The fire department came and stuff.

Everyone was all trying to talk her down.

I mean, people who wouldn't even give her a nickel

if she were begging in the street.

Now all of a sudden

her life became this fucking precious thing to them.

Well, she took the plunge.

She landed feet first.

She bounced back up like 10 feet in the air

after she hit.

And the sound of it, man.

Oh, man, I'll never forget it.

It was so loud, like this thunder crack.

Every bone in her body shattered at once.

Fucking gnarly.

Man, I'm starved.

What's for lunch?

So what is this?

Is this the Super Whale

or the Gut Bomb Burger?

Take a bite and find out.

I still can't tell the difference.

Oh, fuck.

I hate the fucking parking--

Fuck. Can you imagine making a living

fucking other people's days up?

It's not like you got to pay for it or anything.

Yeah, well, considering the mess we're in right now,

the last thing I need is somebody

to run my license plate through

some fucking computer, if you know what I mean.

I swear to God,

if I ever got my hands on one of their necks,

I'd fucking wring it.

What the-- Are you fucking crazy?

You're trying to get us both killed, right?

Is that it?

I just want to go home!

I want to go home.

I want to listen to my Smiths CDs

and pretend I never fucking met you.

Who the fuck are you anyways?

Pretend I never met you.

Pretend you never fucking came into my life,

that I never fucking stopped the car that day,

that I just kept on going.

So you and Toto can go back to Kansas

and live happily ever after, right?

Yeah, right. Fuck you.

Right? Fuck you!

Right?

Get your fucking hands off me!

Ow. Fuck.

You really want to go back

to your "I'm HIV-positive

and everything's normal, hunky-dory" life?

Well, go fucking right ahead.

Just don't forget to have sex

and don't plan anything too far in the future.

Don't you get it?

We're not like them.

We don't have as much time.

[thunder]

So we got to grab life by the balls

and go for it.

You can piss it all away

in that stupid job of yours

until you wither away

and they feed you to the worms.

I say fuck that shit, man.

You keep banging your head against the wall,

and what are you going to get?

A fucking bloody head, that's what.

I knew you'd see things my way.

Just promise me

no more convict cowabunga bullshit, okay?

Scout's honor.

Promise me for real.

Get the fuck off me.

So where do we go from here?

The world is ours.

Yeah, right.

[luke] I swear,

the first symptom,

the first sign of anything--

What?

I'll just off myself straight away.

No way am I going to go

through all that horrible shit you hear about.

Yeah, well, I'm sure everybody says that.

You know, when it comes right down to it,

I think every conceivable method

is either too painful or too gruesome.

Like, did you ever hear how Ian Curtis died?

That Joy Division guy?

Yeah. Didn't he hang himself?

Yeah, except, you know,

instead of just jumping off a chair or something,

the story goes he, uh, stood on a block of ice,

turned on the heater, and waited for it to melt.

No shit.

That's intense.

Yeah, I hear death is a lot like coming.

Hmm.

The same chemicals and stuff

get released in the bloodstream.

All I heard is that you shit your pants.

I mean, you've read about those big fat senators

who drop dead while hosing some juicy whore.

[laughing] Right.

Yeah. That's how I want to go.

[laughing]

With a big bang

and a big fucking smile on my face.

Whatever turns you on.

I want you to do it for me.

Do what?

Duh. Kill me.

Put me out of my misery.

Oh, yeah, right.

I'm serious, guy.

Promise you won't let me down.

Just think of it

as giving me the ultimate orgasm.

I wish you wouldn't talk such bullshit.

What's the matter? You scared?

I'm not scared. I just--

Ah, forget it.

I just don't want to talk about it anymore, all right?

All right, you little delicate flower, you.

[darcy gasping]

[peter grunting]

Forget it.

Forget it. Can we just forget it?

Darcy. Ohh...

This is not going to happen.

Okay?

So unless you want me to lie here

with my legs spread, faking it,

can we just give it up already?

Where are my cigarettes?

Maybe if you would just relax.

I cannot just relax.

I have too much junk on my mind.

You know it's impossible for me

I don't even know why you instigated it

Maybe because we haven't had sex in so long,

my cock's about to atrophy.

Well, jerk off, then.

You know, I do not exist

solely to provide periodic relief

for the pressure building in your gonads.

And if I don't find a cigarette

in one fucking second,

I'm going to have a seizure.

I don't need this.

Darcy, I'm trying.

I really am.

You're letting a virus in somebody else's

Jon is hardly what I would call

Eureka.

Darce.

Yeah.

Um...

Peter.

Peter, I am sorry I have been such a bitch lately.

It's just this thing with Jon

has got me really fucked up.

I started seeing someone else.

What?

I was going to say something before, but--

Get out of here.

Darcy.

I mean it. I give you two minutes

to get dressed and get your toothbrush

and get the fuck out of here!

You asshole!

[coughing]

Here you go.

Thanks.

Oh, fuck.

God, I hate being sick.

Hey, look, I got you one of these, too.

Thank you, Mommy.

Hey, you want another jacket or something?

[coughing]

Ahem.

Here.

Oh, no, thanks.

Hey, doctor's orders.

Ahem.

Beats the hell out of Robitussin,

Do you want me to drive a while?

I may be sick, but I'm not suicidal.

[coughing]

Hey, did you ever play that alphabet game

on the freeway with the cars

when you were a kid?

What, you mean that one, um,

where you, like, try to spell out the alphabet

with different makes of cars?

Yeah, why, when I was, like, 12 or something.

Want to play?

What?

Come on.

Oh, you're kidding me, right?

No. Audi.

[clap]

[motor whirring]

[clap]

[motor whirring]

[door opens, closes]

I'll be back in a second, all right?

Fucking machine's out of order.

Oh, shit.

Hey.

[gunshots]

Fuck you! Fuck you!

[alarm rings] Fuck you!

God fucking damn it!

[rock]

You motherfucking idiot!

[cough]

How can you be so fucking stupid?

[cough] Sorry.

Oh, great. Sorry's going to help us a lot now.

Look, I said I'm sorry.

I said I'm sorry. What do you fucking

I'm so fucking over this.

[coughing]

My mind is fucked up.

It's like I have this vision of you

as this vampire.

You're sucking the life force out of me.

[coughs]

I mean, it really scares me.

Well, then pull the trigger.

Will that make you happy?

Put that thing away.

No, come on, dude. I deserve it, right?

Just put that thing away.

Come on, dude, kill me.

Will you fucking put that thing away?

[brakes screech]

[coughing]

[motor stops]

I'm going for a walk.

[coughing]

[phone rings]

[door unlocks]

[ring]

[door slams]

[ring]

[clattering]

[ring]

Hello.

Hello?

Fuck.

[screams]

No!

Fuck you!

[phone rings]

[ring]

Hello.

Yes, I'll accept the charges.

Jon? Jon, is that you?

Where the fuck are you, you fucker?

[sobbing]

Yeah, Darce,

I'm coming home.

What are you doing?

Hey, dude.

[cough]

Jesus.

It's living inside me, but...

I can't see it.

Can you?

Oh...

This just looks like regular boring old blood to me.

What's the matter,

haven't you ever seen anybody bleed before?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

How can you pull shit like this?

I don't know.

Our relationship has definitely reached

critical mass here.

Our holiday...

in the sun is over.

This hackneyed romantic fantasy

has just about come to an end.

What do you mean?

I'm not going back.

Send me a postcard.

This is where I get off.

So what are you going to do?

You going to just sit there?

[coughs]

Happy trails.

What do you think you're doing?

You'll never... ever find anybody

who cares as much about you as I do.

Don't you see that?

Don't be stupid.

You wouldn't have the balls anyways.

[bang]

You fucker.

Mellow out, man. Mellow out.

Ahh!

Mellow out, man!

Go ahead. Fucking blow my brains out.

Go ahead, motherfucker!

[coughing]

What the fuck are you doing?

[coughing]

Can't you see?

I love you more than life.

You're crazy.

I don't care about anything anymore.

[coughing]

Go ahead.

What the fuck are you waiting for?

Just do it.

Do it!

[click]

[coughing]

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc.