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J when you shake the hand of friendship j

j you begin to understand j

j why there's nothing like the touch of a friendly hand j

j once you had a cup of kindness, once somebody touches you j

j you'll appreciate there ain't no better brew j

j cause at it's best the rest of life j

j is no more than a game j

j the rules may sometimes differ j

j but the game remains the same j

j it's only money, it wont make the grass grow j

j it's only money, it wont make the wind blow j

j it's only money, it wont make the sunshine j

j it's only money, it wont make you feel fine j

j it's only bread, don't let it go to your head j

J notice how his stomach churns &

j look a little closer, see the way his ulcer burns j

j look at all the lonely people &

j makes you wonder where it's at j

j no one know their names or where they hang their hats j

j oh, it's just a race, all traces of humanity are lost &

j and no one's making changes j

j cause they are too scared of the cost j

j it's only money, it wont make the grass grow j

j it's only money, it wont make the wind blow j

j it's only money, it wont make the sunshine j

j it's only money, it wont make you feel fine j

j it's only bread, don't let it go to your head j

you're always explaining!

I went out with the chairman!

I couldn't just get up and leave.

Why the hell not?

You know, when you're angry you look absolutely awful.

I'm only going to New York.

New York, is that all?

It's promotion!

Where the hell do you think I fit in New York?

When I've settled in...

Yes?

Well, maybe you could come over.

Why don't you wake up to yourself?

I give you one week.

For what?

For some poor girl in New York

to find out what it's like to feed a parasite!

It only took from breakfast till dinner

for you to forget my birthday.

How long do you think it would take in New York?

You have been so busy bawling me out,

but as a matter of fact,

I did not forget.

Too late.

Oh, come on, open it.

Too late!

Oh, come on, darling, happy birthday for yesterday.

Keep your distance!

Here, won't this make you change your mind?

J here's to you, you solitary sleeper j

j as you face another long and lonely night j!

J put the tomcat out in the yard and turn out the light j

j switch off

j rest your head and close your weary peepers j

j as you try and keep those memories at bay j

j and from now on, start trying not j

j to toss your sleepy time away j

j cause bleary eyes and weary shoulders j

j won't bring her back to you &

j you used to be a man of colour and now your midnight blue j&

j your bleary eyes and weary shoulders j

j won't bring her back, it's true &

j yes, it's true j

j you used to be a man of colour, once j

j but now your midnight blue j

J rest your head and close your weary peepers j

j as you try and keep those memories at bay j

j and from now on, start trying j

j not to toss your sleepy time away j

j cause bleary eyes and weary shoulders j

j won't bring her back to you &

j you used to be a man of colour j

j and now you're midnight blue j

j your bleary eyes and weary shoulders j

j won't bring her back it's true j

j yes, it's true j

j you used to be a man of colour once j

j but now you're midnight blue &

New York, great.

J don't let it go to your head j

come in.

Stay there Matthews, save yourself the walk.

So sorry, there's been a slight change of plan.

New York is off.

You're posted to Birmingham.

Birmingham?

Just as bad as I expected.

Even worse.

But I've got to face it.

Face Birmingham, face furness Orlando,

and face Hugo flaxman, strutting around out there

as the merchant banker of Birmingham.

Did he phone you or were you stupid enough to phone him?

In that case the man's a fool and he's lost his nerve.

Push the quote up half a million.

With cancer moving right now into the 10th house.

Yes, all in all, a very good move.

We'll make that half million.

All I want is five thousand.

Darling, the plain fact is that your signs

are just not propitious at the moment.

Saturnine turbulence is...

Please, Hugo, this is a business matter!

Of course.

The file on the French restaurant, please, sue.

Flaxman, no.

Hugo.

Hello, flaxman.

Well, if it isn't Hugo flaxman.

No, no, I'll pretend I've forgotten his name.

How do you do, um, oh, I'm afraid that I've...

We've met somewhere before.

The face, I recognise the face, but...

But what if he pretends not to know me?

What I'm particularly concerned about

is the relationship between you and your partner.

How do things stand?

Paul?

Alright, I suppose.

Occasional disagreements,

but nothing to disturb the business.

My information is that it's all washed up.

Have you been snooping around the staff?

You see, willful obstinacy and aggression

are dominant as your partner's aries sign

approaches the cusp of the first house.

For heaven's sake, take me seriously!

I'm in trouble!

I take you deadly seriously.

Besides, I may be in trouble too.

A rival approaches to threaten my position.

But how does he stand with the chairman?

Mind you, I was the one who was offered

the New York job, not flaxman.

Even if they didn't actually send me.

The fact that I've arranged

for furness Orlando to finance your business

may be hard to justify in business terms,

but as a gesture of pure friendship.

Are you making a pass at me?

We're beginning to talk the same language.

But I need a loan.

Natural selection,

that's the chairman's game.

The weakest goes to the wall.

Right.

Right.

If I'm right, and I think I am, yes, two weeks hence,

Venus will rule alone in a position of glory.

That will be the moment.

For a loan or for love?

Second and fifth house, my dear.

Both.

So, it's a fight, is it?

Okay, then may the best man win, as long as it's me.

There's a new man joining us from the London office.

I shall have to put it to him as a matter of courtesy.

They've appointed a London man over you?

Either of us could get the top job.

So, you have a rival.

Just a competitor, not a serious threat.

Show Mr. Matthews straight into my office

when he arrives, please, val.

Mr. Matthews has just gone into the board room.

Matthews!

Flaxman.

Can I get you a drink?

Good to see that you've made yourself at home.

Oh, might as well get to know my way around a bit.

What'll you have?

Do you mind if I help myself?

Go ahead.

Well, there's no point in beating about the bush.

Not sure I follow you, dear boy.

Well, the chairman tells me you've had it

pretty cushy here for a couple of years.

He sent me to pep up the pace a bit.

Your pace or mine?

He's looking to competition for dramatic results.

At the end of the year it's either you

or me for branch director.

With a seat on the board.

So, we know the stakes.

Here's to the action.

Well, the action's away from home tonight, dear boy.

And you're invited.

But there's been a change of government,

of course there's been a change of policy!

Cunningham and his henchmen are out at last,

and now the people have the power.

The city's been waiting for these amenities

a long time, Mr. Jackson,

so your outright rejection of the Cunningham scheme came as a surprise.

Now, sir, Harry Cunningham was the only serious contender,

surely he has all the qualifications?

He has all the qualifications for turning a public amenity

into a source of private profit,

and the people of Birmingham have waited long enough

not to have to line sir Harry Cunningham's pockets

for privileges which are theirs by right.

Let me finish, as I'm now the

democratically elected keeper of the public purse,

great!

There's one thing I'm sure of

that Cunningham's had the

last contract kick-back

he's going to get from this city.

You don't talk about me like that and get

away with it, Jackson!

Is there any

actual basis for that accusation?

Every agreement I've reached on

behalf of my union with the Cunningham management

over the last 30 years he's

handed straight to his lawyers

to search for loopholes and exploitation.

You despicable little demagogue.

You're not abusing

your public position of responsibility

to take revenge are you?

How d'you think Cunningham's

managed to swallow up business

after business only to close

them down put hundreds of people out of work

and build empty office blocks on the site.

If not with the help of his mates when they

were on the council?

No brothers, the payola's run out.

Very good, oh I hope the

fascist old so-and-so is watching.

So you are seeking revenge?

Yes, keep him taking, friend,

we'll be right there, there,

now then they're all ready and loaded.

With public money?

With money raised by the council

on favourable terms.

Not again Harry.

Not on terms that'll pour

unearned profit into the coffers of the

Cunningham empire.

Couldn't he have just turned it off?

Interviewer should be shot, a Cunningham stooge.

Because he asked the awkward question?

Well it was easy enough for

you to reject Cunningham on television but

where else are you going to find 10 million?

Mr. Matthews, in Birmingham,

Tim.

In Birmingham you're either

with Cunningham or against him,

which side are you on?

I'm an outsider, I've only

been here a few days,

I don't know, Mr. Jackson.

Bert,

but you might have access to the cash.

Come on, Bert, he'll be mad if you keep him waiting.

You go on ahead, I'll catch you up.

He'll be gunning for you.

Cunningham?

Uh-huh, in a corner for the first time in his life

and I put him there, wants a personal explanation

of why he's been rejected.

Well if you're still alive, let's have lunch.

Okay.

D'you know a place called le restaurant francaise?

Diamond street, the French restaurant?

That's it.

See you dinner time then.

Right,

now I must find some place to live.

Oh, if you need any advice I can

give you the name of a good estate agent.

I give advice, I don't take it.

Gas street?

J I won't let no troubled waters j

j rock the boat I'm rowing j

j concrete city you can't slam the door in my face j

j I may be a stranger but I j

j sure know where I'm going j

j concrete city you better set another place j

j you'll never get a foot on the moon j

j if you always keep your feet on the ground j

j and if that's the way you wanna be found j

j well just sleep on j

j while I keep on winning j

j any day now I'll be winning j

j another day and I'll be grinning &

j beginning to begin again j

j winning j&

j do yer do yer do yer do yer j

j do do yer do yer do yer do yer j

j do do yer do yer j

j I believe that you're a tough town &

j and that's the way I like 'em j

j concrete city I'm not that easily thrown j

j here today and gone tomorrow j

j if that's the way you see me j

j concrete city you find I'm not a rolling stone j

j you'll never catch a glimpse of the sun j

j if your head is always under a cloud j

j and while you're only thinking out loud j

j I'll be sweetly j

j completely winning j

j and day now I'll be winning j

j another day and I'll be grinning &

j beginning to begin again yeah j

j winning j&

j do do yer do yer do yer do yer j

j do do yer do yer do yer do yer j

j do do yerdo yerdo j

j winning j&

j any day now I'll be winning j

j another day and I'll be grinning &

j beginning to begin again j

j winning j&

j do do yer do yer do yer do yer j

j do do yer do yer do yer do yer j

j do do yerdo yerdo j

Turning her into a holiday boat are you?

I'm going to live in her.

Right here, slap in the middle of the city

we'll be neighbours then.

Neighbours.

What's this then Paul?

Veal.

Oh.

You could've fooled me.

You can fool anyone in this

godforsaken fish and chip town.

But we're not trying to fool them.

It's a business, not a good food crusade.

Just like every other cafe in brum,

fobbing people off with third rate frozen food.

We should complain,

if we make a profit that way.

We don't and I don't want to make a profit that way.

Listen, darling, we're here to make bread

to get us out of this place, right,

I mean that's what we want isn't it?

I don't know what you want anymore,

I thought we decided-

- I just don't want to be stuck here.

It's my home town, Paul

and good things do come out of it

from time to time.

The way I see it there's only

one good thing coming out of

Birmingham and that's the motorway south.

A boat?

Longboat.

Narrow boat?

Whatever.

And you're going to live in it?

How else could I buy living space

in the centre of the city

for just a few hundred pounds?

People used to work those boats

damned hard for a living,

and now you want to turn one of 'em

into a fancy pad,

you reckon it's good for your image.

I'm going to work here.

Most of the money people I know

live in big houses forty or fifty miles out

just drop in for a few hours

a week to take the pickings.

I reckon I'd do better with my

finger on the pulse, noising among the grass roots.

On the canal.

I'm sorry about this, Bert.

Ooh all right by me, brother,

I'll eat anything if people are

silly enough to pay the prices.

Was everything all right for you?

All right for me love, but my

friend here's paying and he's a

bit of a gourmet, very unhappy.

I'd like to hear any complaints.

Oh it wasn't as bad as all that.

Oh come off it, you've been

bitching to me about it all

the time, why don't you tell the management.

The management's better looking than you.

But we'd like to know.

So what was wrong with the soup?

Dehydrated.

You chose one of the less popular

things on the menu.

It's a long menu for such a small place.

You're right and we can't cook everything.

So why put it on-?

Put it on the menu?

I'll take the matter up, anything else?

Well the trout was a bit tired of waiting,

I'd have guessed it was ready at about, ooh, ten thirty?

Go on.

I'm sorry but you did ask.

And the caramel was burnt.

Hm, you said it.

I'll pass your complaints onto the chef,

if you win us a shorter menu,

you'll have done the house a good turn.

Oh well I'm glad about that

because the house red

was really more house than red.

I really am sorry about all this.

And look, you won't be charged.

Would you like to try our coffee?

Bert?

Yes please, coffee.

Only because I'd like to know

what the hell you can find to

complain about in a cup of coffee.

What was all that about?

All what?

Chatting up the customers.

Listen Paul, either we have a shorter menu

or you let me do some of the cooking.

So what's supposed to be wrong?

Just tell me why we have to scrape

the bottom of the barrel?

Ah professional complainers make me sick.

But he's right, right about every course,

and right about the menu being too long.

I'll take two of those.

Don't get so upset.

Ah those'll smooth it over.

It'll take more than Irish coffee.

If it's any comfort, it's Irish.

Oh there's nothing I like more'n

a little Irish comfort.

Oh, good.

It wasn't good I know,

but I hope you'll give us a second chance.

I'll be back love.

I hope so.

I can't make out whether it's you or me she fancies.

I think you'll find it's me.

Trouble dear boy,

I'm afraid you'll have to handle this one.

Well who is it?

Cancer with scorpio,

worst possible conjunction,

I'm too involved.

You!

So it was you, spying.

Just what do you think you know

about running a restaurant?

Well, I like food.

But you're refusing to lend us the money.

I've appraised your business as a financial risk.

You caught us on the hop, we were short staffed.

You're trying to do too much with too few people

and with far too little capital.

Then lend us some more.

We'll be on our feet within six months.

You'll be on your back in three.

Not a chance.

You're closing us up?

I'm cutting your losses.

It's for your own good.

I know what's good for me.

I've worked for two years for this,

there were half a dozen people,

we've all worked hard together

and taken nothing out of it.

It takes more than good intentions.

Oh, stuff the clichés.

Look at this is business

you only asked us for the money

and I only said no.

Where's flaxman,

why did he think we were worth the money?

We see things more clearly now.

He's passed the buck,

you're just the hatchet man aren't you?

Flaxman's very sorry but he does agree.

Do you know I think you're right?

Cancer descending.

Hugo!

So,

the sneak at the keyhole.

You're just the sort of creep

I always thought you were.

Sarah!

You knew I'd tell you exactly

what I thought of you as soon as

you stopped the money,

so you hide behind closed doors and pass the dirty work on

to someone else.

That's right.

You're just as bad!

And you, I know what you wanted flaxman.

Sarah, please what do you think I am.

Listen to the lady and find out.

You're a-

- alright, alright, okay, I know,

I know you think I'm a,

but look at it my way,

I mean you come marching in here asking for help

and what can I do?

I mean look at me, I'm a normal,

healthy, hungry male.

Ah!

Well what d 'you expect of a man?

You've no right to come in here.

Oh you'll have to get on your knees

if you want to see eye to eye.

Now who asked you to interfere?

You did, believe me, he did.

Well keep out of it now.

There's a lady in distress.

Yes, you keep out of it,

I don't want your help.

Right, because you don't need anybody's help.

You set out to ruin my

business judgement and you did.

You're totally unscrupulous, you're a menace

and you shouldn't be allowed in business.

Oh boy do I feel sorry for you.

Shut up both of you.

Can't a woman even have a fight in a bank?

J there's too much love j

j there's too much peace j

j there's too much joy j

j in the world today j

j there's too much love j

j there's too much peace j

j there's too much joy j

j in the world today j

j there's too much love j

j see the milk of human kindness cut off j

j don't you understand j

j there's too much love j

j j that's the way it is here j

j in the anti-brotherhood of man 2

j there's too much love j

j don't believe or be misled j

j don't let them catch you if you can j

j sing a song of indecision j

j sing a song of apathy j

j we don't wanna hear no other melody j

j sing a song that's pessimistic j

j sing a song that gives no hope j

j we don't wanna pay new money j

j for old rope j

Could've left me out of that, dear boy.

What, after you dropped me right in it?

I didn't want to get held up.

Oh you didn't.

We've got bigger fish to fry.

Intruders, ten degrees left

120 yards.

Friendlies, hulbert, stop.

Stop!

Lunatic!

Friendlies I said, you damn fool,

friendlies.

But begging your pardon, you,

you signalled intruders.

One for friend, three for foe.

You've got these damned muffs on,

how do you expect to hear what I say?

And don't you dare flinch from the fire.

Watch out!

Sorry lads, but these verminous rodents

I'm after, climb aboard,

weapons, hulbert.

Yeah grey squirrels

nothing but tree rats eating the saplings

and pigeons and rabbits in the crops,

they'll have the place a desert in no time.

Ah to hell with the signals,

hulbert, drive!

Stand by to pick off the flankers,

if anything escapes to either side

you're answerable by me

now then flaxman,

what's your scheme for my money?

Shoot!

Steady hulbert.

Don't play the fool man, just tell me.

Well I imagine you'd want some

set aside to get rid of Jackson.

Ah I can take care of Jackson,

you come to the point.

A takeover, baynes electric,

with a bit of internal book cooking

I think the shareholders could be persuaded

that it's a good thing.

Ten million should take care of the deal,

with a good under the table wad

for old man baynes himself.

Good lad, give the boy a chance man, ah!

- Sir? - Eh?

Well what do you think?

Ah!

Ah, missed him.

Huh, what's the alternative lad?

Good!

The council's looking for money

to back its city cross development,

now from every point of view that

represents the best investment you could possibly make.

I know it's a labour council and it's Bert Jackson,

but from a purely financial point of view-

- argh, stop!

Damned red revolutionaries!

Get off!

Get out!

Argh!

Vermin!

Did you see any rats?

I didn't see any rats.

J here we go j

j another kick in the backside j

j you think the feeling ain't worldwide j

j until they give it to you j

j here we go j

j I must have read all the signs wrong j

j I should be singing a sweet song j

j instead of feeling so sour j

j if the shake you by the hand j

j and wish you all the best in life j

j I can bet you when you turn j

j they'll get you with a velvet knife j

j why, tell me why j

j should you burn the midnight candle j

j why waste your breath j

j you're gonna need it when you're old j

j they'll only find your ideals too hot to handle j

j me oh my oh why j

j here we go, a lot of negative answers j

j just when you thinkin' you chance is j

j about the best you'll ever get j

jl don't know j

j it must be due to the way Mars j

j is ill-affecting my good stars j

j and disconnecting me again j

j if the heavens are against you j

j then you're bound to only break your necks j

j it can't be good now can it j

j in a planetary apoplexy j

j why tell me why j

j should you burn the midnight candle j

j why waste your breath j

j you're gonna need it when you're old j

j they'll only find your ideals too hot to handle j

j me oh my oh why j

so... well I-

please.

Oh, dear boy, I insist.

If you've got anything to say after that

I shall be most interested to hear it.

What do you mean?

I mean you just made a prize twit of yourself.

Hah!

You knew what the old idiot was like.

Why he didn't exactly go overboard

about your scheme.

Of course not.

Not until he's had a chance to convince himself

that it was all his idea in the first place.

Cunningham is not the kind of man

you can flatter, Hugo.

I know him.

He knows you.

He's got your measure.

He was bored, I tell you.

It all went in, never fret.

Well at least I made an impression.

Yeah, like we were bombed off the estate.

But he'll remember it.

I imagine the chairman will be a little upset

when he hears about your, ah,

performance dear boy.

I haven't finished yet, that was just the opening shot.

I thought you said you sold the Sophie?

Yes, well I have.

But she looks wonderful.

Oh yes, well you do anyway,

come on, give us a kiss.

Don't she look wonderful, Molly?

Hello lovely, it is good to see you,

and doesn't she look bright.

Must be the Sophie,

I've no reason to be bright

except you're both looking well.

Ah, look, there's the Sunday

and I've got something for dinner.

Oh, it's not that French pate, is it?

No, no, you'll spoil your breakfast,

here you are love.

Now then Sarah,

why aren't you feeling so bright, lovely?

Go to start looking for another job.

What's happened to the cafe then?

Broke.

I thought it was doing so well?

Trouble was Paul couldn't let it

just be a good French café,

he tried to turn it into a posh restaurant,

we got behind with the bills

and the bank wouldn't lend us any more money.

So where's Paul?

We're bust too.

Hah, well I've seen that coming.

I'm not sorry about that,

but I am sorry about the cafe.

Anyway I didn't come here to talk about my troubles.

Tell me about the Sophie,

I see they've repainted your name on the side.

Make it look a bit traditional.

He's made a right pickle of it, he has.

It's not a working boat anymore, Sarah.

Ah come on, just 'cos it's a bit different.

Looks like he's made a really good job of it to me.

Ah, you can do anything with money.

Well who's bought it then?

Southerner, works in a bank.

Come in.

Oh no.

Sarah!

It had to be you.

Well what are you-

- I did just think it might be you.

But what are you doing here?

I was born here.

Sam and Molly?

My mum and dad.

They told me what a right mess you'd made of it.

D'you want to see it?

Things have changed.

There were five of us and the cabin stopped here.

I know, I've seen the mavis.

Of course.

I don't know how you survived.

We didn't know any different.

J from the day a man is born j

j till the day he dies j

j he holds all life's mysteries j

j deep within his eyes j

j deep within his eyes j

j all the tears and all the joys j

j all the truth and lies j

j mirrored in the innocence j

j of a young girl's eyes j

j of a young girl's eyes j

Marvellous, but I bet she doesn't go.

Here let me.

The Sophie's more than a floating flat,

she's a way of life.

J from the day a man is born j

j till the day he dies j

j he holds all life's mysteries j

j deep within his eyes j

j deep within his eyes its showing j

j deep within his blood its flowing j&

j deep within his heart its growing j

j like the wind, forever blowing j

j deep within his wisdom turning j

j deep within his senses burning &

j deep within his hunger yearning j

j deep within his soul j

j life oh life j

j the wild side and the tame j

j life oh life j

j the pleasures and the pain j

j our glory our defeat &

j life oh life j

j the bitter and the sweet j

j life oh life j

j the wild side and the tame j

j life oh life j

j the pleasures and the pain j

j our glory our defeat &

j life oh life j

j the bitter and the sweet j

J all the tears and all the joys j

j all the truth and lies j

j mirrored in the innocence j

j of a young girl's eyes j

j locked within her secret tower j

j swiftly changing by the hour j

j till it blossoms like a flower j

j with it's gift of mystic power j

j deep within her wisdom turning j&

j deep within her senses burning j

j deep within her hunger yearning j

j deep within her soul j

j life oh life j

j the wild side and the tame j

j life oh life j

j the pleasures and the pain j

j our glory our defeat &

j life oh life j

j the bitter and the sweet j

j life j

you make a good quality hamburger

that everyone in Birmingham can enjoy

and you're really back in business

We could call it, a brumburger!

Oh!

Yes?

Your nine-thirty call, sir Harry.

Oh, quiet!

Yes?

Er, everything under control sir.

Better be,

the baynes electric board should be voting now

whether to accept our bid.

Should be?

Don't you know?

Oh yes, yes, of course, sir,

they are voting now,

where exactly are you?

Er don't worry, just a slight hold up,

nothing can go wrong,

I hope not, for your sake,

grandpa, our shares jumped eight pence yesterday.

Somebody must have leaked the news

of the baynes take over.

Flaxman blast him,

trying to make a personal killing

on the deals he does for me,

if all goes well I'll have made

a bit of a killing too.

Hmm.

In your name of course, grandpa.

Good boy,

good boy.

Much traffic?

Oh nothing to speak of

for the time of day.

I gather Mr. flaxman is indisposed,

he's running a bit of a temperature.

Ah.

Er gentlemen, I'm happy to say

that our bankers haven't let us down.

Mr. Matthews has come

speeding to our assistance.

Mr. Matthews.

Mr. chairman, gentlemen,

frankly I'm surprised that

some of you recommend accepting

this offer from the Cunningham group.

Now I shall of course demonstrate with figures,

but I must say at the outset

that every consideration leads me to recommend

rejection of this offer.

It's off, Bert.

What's off?

The take-over,

baynes board turned it down.

Okay, who fixed it?

I did.

That means there's ten million quid still available.

You mean we should use Cunningham's

money for the city cross?

It's only money.

It may be only money to you, mate,

it's blood and sweat to me.

How're your chances for re-election

if the scheme flops?

I've fought Cunningham for thirty

years in this town,

that's why the people of brum

put me where I am now.

What d'you think they'd say

if they saw us doing a deal.

When it comes to a hand out

it's surprising how much people can take.

You don't get any sort of a hand out from Cunningham.

Tell them that the money he's been making

out of the working people

is now being ploughed back, for their benefit.

Pull the other one

it could be true.

Thanks for the game.

Wait!

You'll come to a meeting?

Who with?

Cunningham, goodnight Bert.

- Goodnight love. - Goodnight.

See you tomorrow.

Brumburger

J here I am, I'm so free &

j good old independent me j

j I'm a man of means, j

j a man of property j

j every race that I run j

j' is one more that must be won &

j and what's more I know, j

j I've only just begun j

j oh but honestly sometimes I wonder j

j what this game I play is about. &

j when I come home at night I discover j

j nothing's changed since I went out j

j guess I must be a fool or a dreamer, j

j for what other way could it be j

j all the lover's I've known gave me more j

j than they got from me j

J I should change, but it's hard j

j something keeps me on my guard, j

j I've never been prepared j

j to hold the losing card j

j no never j

j but before it's too late j

j I've got to come to terms with fate j

j for love and life, I know, j

j are not inclined to wait &

j do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do, do j

j do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do, do j

j when I come home at night I discover j

j nothing's changed since I went out j

j guess I must be a fool or a dreamer, j

j for what other way could it be, j

j all the lovers I've known gave me more j

j than they got from me j

Hello.

Brumburger.

Mm.

What we need now is a good slogan.

Something to capture the public's imagination.

Something that will immediately

bring to mind, a brumburger.

J they'll be flying in by charter j

j with their wallets full of notes, j

j there'll be queues that stop j

j at land's end and begin at John o'groats j

j and if we were a sea-port, j

j why I bet they'd come by boats &

j and surely even royalty would stand &

j for the biggest little mouthful in the land. J

hmm, that's not bad.

Yeah, but it's not good,

we need to be more positive.

Why don't we issue a challenge,

like if you can get through two

the third one's on the house!

J there'll be talk of it in Moscow j

j they'll make copies in Japan j

j and those gastronomic Germans j

j will be swarming through this land j

j I suspect that even aussies j

j will admit we poms are grand j

j and they'll cheer so loud j j they'll drown a passing jet j

j for the biggest load of bull they'll ever get. J

of course the Americans will be most upset,

why, in no time at all the brumburger

will become a way of life.

Yeah, we'll make the hamburger a thing of the past.

A sort of yanks for the memory.

J when they hear of us in Texas j

j they'll call in the f.B.I j

j who'll appoint John Wayne official &

j and then send him here to spy j

j but the Duke will take one mouthful &

j and he'll break right down and cry... j

j to think I thought you limies just ate spam j

j dammit you've j j dammit you've j

j out-yanked the yanks, j j out-yanked the yanks, j

j right here in Birmingham. J j right here in Birmingham. J

j boom, boom! J j boom, boom! J

I'll thank you to keep your

interfering fingers out of my affairs.

I couldn't just stand by

and let you go down.

What?

No one minds making a bit out of a takeover

but when one person scoops the pool,

they're bound to find that a bit, unethical.

To hell with the ethics.

Just how do you think I'm going

to explain it to Cunningham

oh don't worry, dear boy, I will.

- Now... - Why not?

He's hunting - hah, so am I.

J driving, we go driving j

j ooh baby ooh ooh baby ooh ooh j

j driving, we go driving j

j ooh baby, ooh just me and you. J

j ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, j

j ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, j

j ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, j

j oo-o0h, ooh. J

Coming up here.

Can you see Cunningham?

Ah there he is, no sign of the fox of course.

Let's move.

Whoa!

You've got a nerve!

Thought I might find you here,

I don't accept apologies from bolshies.

I'm here to offer you a last chance.

Of what?

The best deal of your life.

Get out!

Get out!

Ah, ah, get down.

Down, down.

What have you got in there, the damn fox.

Well what have you got to offer?

A prestige headquarters for the Cunningham group

leased on favourable terms from the council,

and it bit of a reputation

for yourself as a city benefactor.

But most important, the best long term investment

you could ever hope to make.

That is the way to catch sir Harry Cunningham.

I'm glad you've caught him

because I've caught the fox.

J driving, we go driving j

j ooh baby, ooh just me and you ooh. J

saved from the jaws of...

Matthews!

Matthews!

What the hell are you up to boy?

Matthews!

Ah Matthews.

What the hell are you doing in there?

Just running over the form.

It's quite a scheme lad, most ingenious,

you've had time to read it then?

Time.

Nothing else to do

after they lost that damned fox.

I suppose not.

What's funny about that?

25 horse power they say this damn

thing is, and it won't get me over the fences.

But for my gout

I'd be astride a four legged beast

and I'd have made a kill by now.

There's a good chance of a - a financial killing

in the city cross scheme.

M-maybe yeah.

You've done well, boy.

You're interested then?

Yes.

One can't afford to put prejudices

in the path of progress.

Or a good healthy profit.

Of course.

Not that I need the money mind.

But that's not going to stop you going for it though.

Perhaps not.

Tell me, as a matter of interest,

how do you get on with this fellow, Jackson.

Fine, just fine.

Ah, not giving much away eh, haha.

You should be working for me.

Now when do I have to face

this socialist scoundrel?

Tomorrow midday, at furness Orlando.

And er we'll lay on lunch,

just to make things nice and friendly.

Right, done.

Back, hulbert, back!

Back!

Business done for the day?

Yes, so let's get out of the office.

J once there was a way, j

j once there was atime j

j when everything was j

j in it's place and simplified j

j when no one bothered counting j

j all the tears one cried in vain j

j for in the morning more than likely &

j one would shine again j

j take me high love j

j take me high j

j take me back to where I've been. J

j take me high love j

j let me fly love j

j in the skyways I once knew j

j take me back to the days j

j when I was truly never alone j

j take me high love, j

j take me home, j

J once there was a hill, j

j once there was a tree, j

j once there was a bird who spread its wings and flew j

j to places we imagined, j

j so much brighter than our own j

j yet when the summer sun returned j

j our feathered friends came home jq

j take me high love, j

j take me high j

j take me back to where I've been j

j take me high love j

j let me fly love j

j in the skyways I once knew j

j take me back to the days j

j when I was truly never alone j

j take me high love, j

j take me home, j

j take me high love, j

j take me high j

j take me back to where I've been j

j take me high love j

j let me fly love j

j in the skyways I once knew j

j take me back to the days j

j when I was truly never alone j

j take me high love, j

j take me home, j

j take me high love, j

j take me home, j

j take me high love, j

j take me home j

Your girlfriend's here.

Girlfriend?

She's in the boardroom getting lunch.

Mmmm.

Get your thieving hands off my salad.

Sarah, what are you doing here?

Working off the overdraft,

remember we had to close down.

But who's all this for?

Tim to impress the clients.

Tim eh.

You've done well, boy.

What clients?

Bert Jackson and sir Harry Cunningham.

Together?

That's it then.

Hah, I'd rather have taken you dead than alive.

As a capitalist you're living on borrowed time,

I've got you more dead than alive.

Well this looks suddenly all very Matey.

Oh we have a deal Hugo.

The city cross development is under way.

There's more than one way of making money

out of the working class.

Congratulations dear boy, a diplomatic coup.

But what have you done to pacify Sarah?

We're in business together.

No sir Harry, you're sitting over here on the right,

mm, oh!

And you're on the left, Bert.

Right, left and centre, very good haha.

Come along Hugo you're sitting next to sir Harry.

And this for a client who'll be joining us

in just one moment.

Well to the new deal then.

To the new deal.

To the new deal.

Spare us the loving cup please.

What on earth's that?

- Brumburgers! - Brumburgers!

Brumburgers?

Brumburgers?

Oh!

Created by Sarah Jones my partner in business

Sarah, Jackson you know,

and this is sir Harry Cunningham.

How do you do.

Now that's not a bad idea.

We are registered as a business.

Well now that you two gentlemen

are eating at the same table,

there is a price to pay.

From you Bert,

we'd like planning permission to build

and from you, sir Harry,

we'd like financial backing and factory facilities.

Not another restaurant.

No, not another restaurant a brumburger!

There.

Then we get the best of both worlds

the waterway and the city.

Oh well I know it's a bit of a wreck

at the moment but the potential.

I know potential when I see it lad.

We'll have to get a really good designer of course.

Designer?

The greatness of Birmingham was built

on the brilliance of the cunninghams

and you won't find them wanting

when it comes to the brumburger.

You have the ideas, you will design it

and my factories will make it.

And what's more,

I never do anything in this city

without making a loud noise about it.

J well if your back is strong and sturdy j

j you can lend a helping hand j

j and if you want to play our brand of music j

j brother won't you join the band j

j every man and every woman j

j everybody in the land j

j if you're looking for sweet satisfaction j

j come along and join the band j

j if you think there is room for improvement j

j you've got to get into the movement j

j la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la &

j la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la &

J you may not believe in magic j

j but you've got to understand, j

j you can help us make some magic happen j

j if you come and join the band j

j if you think it's time for action j

j then it's time you made a stand j

j we can make it all work out together j

j so brother come and join the band j

j if you think there's room for improvement j

j you've got to get into the movement j

j la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la &

j la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la &

J if you think there's room for improvement j

j you've got to get into the movement j

j la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la &

j la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la &

Fantastic, absolutely fantastic.

You know, I don't know how he does it.

Cunningham?

He's incredible.

He's rich.

We're all going to be rich.

You won't let him take over, Tim?

Well how d'you mean?

I mean his money.

You won't let it become big business.

Can't be helped, it's what the people want.

That's also what's dangerous.

You mean Cunningham's gonna expoit

brumburger for quick profit.

Never, he doesn't need that kind of bread.

Perhaps not sir Harry but someone.

Well who?

It's our idea, and it's our business.

And it's a good idea, so let's make sure we keep it

that way because it's ours.

You are scared of the big time kid.

Just very happy with this time.

Ahoy!

Anyone aboard?

Ah, dear boy,

glad to find you at home so to speak.

Come on in.

Sarah, hello,

I say I do hope I'm not interrupting

a board meeting or anything.

Hello Hugo.

Very impressive dear boy.

It's taken a long time

to earn the pleasure of a visit.

I'm tremendously impressed

by this brumburger business to tell you the truth.

What else but.

I've been doing a spot of research,

on your behalf.

Oh?

May 1?

Please do

well as you two are obviously up to your necks

setting up the prototype,

I thought I'd have a look at

the wider implications, the broader possibilities.

Oh yes and what might they be?

When you reduce this original brumburger idea of yours

with the help of a little cost effective thinking,

what you get is a project of

quite breath taking profit potential.

I mean when you cut out all the eye catching

publicity gimmicks of the original idea

and get down to the basic bone,

what you're left with is a very inexpensive

high street food unit marketing point,

with unlimited turnover capacity,

minimum personnel requirement

and maximum profit potential.

With pre-mixed, pre-moulded,

pre-packed burger meal units bought in bulk

from the world bank

of simulated soya bean beef.

You ship in refrigerated container loads,

and distribute to multiple

one man marketing points,

equipped only with a microwave, cooker

and a deep freezer,

which you let loose like a chain reaction.

Not only in Birmingham,

but through the Midlands, the uk

and the whole world.

We could make Cunningham's fortune

look like the contents

of a juvenile delinquent's piggy bank.

- Stop Hugo, stop! - We could.

Well what's the matter, not interested?

Appalled that's all.

You couldn't be more wrong, Hugo,

the brumburger is just not like that.

But it's got to be dear boy

if you're interested

in making a real substantial profit.

You are diseased with the pursuit of profit,

since when did you get the cure?

The whole idea of the brumburger is

that it's made from fresh ingredients,

locally produced and prepared

and cooked immediately,

so people know what they're eating and like it.

But the manhours, the overheads,

I mean you've got to go for productivity.

To hell with the productivity,

eating and working in the brumburger,

is going to be nothing if it's not a pleasure.

Oh come on Tim,

you know the only pleasure in business is in the profit,

I mean if you're in it for anything else, then you're fooling yourselves.

You didn't get a great deal of fun out of the French restaurant

when it folded, did you?

That was different.

Was it?

Yes, it was.

And anyway if you can't fool yourself now and again

then you're never going to have any fun

even if you do make a profit.

You're both mad,

you're not in business together, you're in love.

J suddenly it seems all the words I know, j

j won't paint the picture j&

j how can I explain all the things I feel j

j in just one line j

j however I know that j

j there must be a word j

j that will fit this scene like a glove j

j the more I think about it j

j the more I know, j

j the word is love, j

j and if I decline to become involved, j

j in conversation j

j it's not that I don't care j

j how the other half &

j is making out j

j well maybe tomorrow j

j I'll try and encourage j

j the eagle to fly with the dove j

j but here and now I offer my one excuse j

j and the word is love j

J well maybe tomorrow j

j I'll try and encourage j

j the eagle to fly with the dove j

j but here and now I offer my one excuse j

j and the word is love j

What does a man have to do

to get a coffee in a place like this?

Bert?

Hello Bert, been working late?

Saw the light, thought I'd drop and say thanks.

Well thank you,

big day tomorrow then?

For all of us

well you've made quite a splash in Birmingham, Tim

city cross, brumburger,

Cunningham's eating out of your hand

here, but you don't start eating

until tomorrow night.

How do you like it?

Great.

What's the food like?

Wait and see.

Mm I've been working late love, sorry

you don't mind do you.

Have a tomato,

I wouldn't say no to a carrot love

you can't beat a raw carrot.

Haven't you eaten tonight, Bert?

I didn't come here for the eats.

I suppose your boss

is pretty pleased with you, Tim.

Must be the best deal

they've ever done in brum.

Come on Bert, what are you after?

No, I mean city cross, it's big prestige

for furness Orlando.

What I want to know is,

what you're after now.

Haven't even thought about it yet.

Where d'you go from here?

Oh and who says I'm moving.

Oh come on, Tim,

you jump to the top

of the provincial ladder in one

now you can only take off.

Tim.

I don't want to leave, at all.

That's all I wanted to hear.

Thanks for the coffee love.

See you tomorrow at the council house.

Don't forget your carrot.

Thanks love.

He's really concerned about you, Tim.

I think you'll find he's concerned about us.

Leaving early?

It's all right for you,

you're already dressed.

I'll see you at the brumburger then.

Don't be late.

Congratulations dear boy,

you've made it to New York after all,

New York?

Just been talking to the chairman.

Well after the city cross deal

there's nothing much to keep you in Birmingham.

But you'll be staying here.

Anything else is bound

to be a bit of an anti-climax

and you did want to go to

New York in the first place.

And you get the job of branch director:

With a, with a seat on the board

what's in the stars then?

Sorry dear boy, flat batteries.

Hm, so you're on your own.

Could I speak to sir Charles furness please.

Certainly Matthews.

Ah sir Charles.

Nice idea of flaxman's, Matthews, I appreciate it.

I thought it appropriate

that sir Charles should represent furness Orlando

at the official announcement of the city cross deal.

I know it's always been your baby Matthews,

but the publicity is good for the bank.

The chairman is a figure the public, know and respect,

well let's hope that the public

don't mind waiting for him.

I'm sure the city council

will spare a minute or two for sir Charles furness.

What on earth are we waiting for then?

Sir Charles furness.

Oh to hell with him,

he's probably detained young Matthews,

so that he can scoop all the glory for himself.

Hah yes come on Jackson,

let's tell the people what they want to know.

Don't think that my being here

in any way detracts

from our appreciation of your achievement

I have told the chairman of the admirable flair

with which, you've handled the whole deal.

We post you to the provinces

and in no time at all, you've pulled off a deal

that would do credit to the city itself.

I'm impressed.

But flaxman suggests

that you're not fully extended in Birmingham.

Well I mentioned how disappointed you were

that you didn't get the New York job.

But you've earned your move, my boy,

that's why I'm transferring you

to the New York branch.

But I don't want to leave.

Well I think we should leave now

for the council house.

We don't leave here until it's clearly understood,

that I want to stay in Birmingham.

It's promotion.

I don't care what it is, I don't want to go.

Why not send flaxman?

City cross was your initiative,

your achievement, I'm rewarding you.

After this anything else here's bound

to be a bit of a bore old boy.

That is for me to decide.

Well you'll hardly pull of a bigger deal.

That may not be the whole point.

It is if you're working for furness Orlando.

But you're not, altogether are you?

Perhaps we should mention

your other interests to sir Charles.

What I do outside the walls of this office,

don't be bashful dear boy.

He's opening a brumburger.

A what?

A brumburger, a cheap hamburger joint,

a kind of restaurant.

A restaurant, another restaurant,

Matthews I absolutely forbid it.

The brumburger is opening tonight,

after the announcement of the city cross.

Whatever this place is Matthews,

I order you to terminate all furness Orlando

interest in it at once,

and to accept the New York post.

Furness Orlando has no interest

in the brumburger whatsoever,

and if you insist on my going

to New York then I shall resign

and [I'll take the Cunningham account with me.

Cunningham?

Sir Harry Cunningham's money

is behind this brumburger.

You're threatening me, Matthews.

Sir, a compromise.

Let Matthews stay in Birmingham.

And you'll go to New York.

Right, I'm off to the council house.

Here Matthews.

I suggest we leave Matthews

in pursuit of his appropriately provincial status,

how about another drink?

I've a powerful sense of being manipulated here.

I'll be happy to go to New York sir Charles.

I'm sure you would,

I'll just be happy to see you go.

Silence if you want to hear us speak.

Quiet!

Now.

To the brumburger!

Quick, get over there I'm in a hurry.

To the brumburger!

Get out of it!

J brumburger j

j brumburger j

j now if you're getting tired j

j of the places you've been to. J

j here is your chance j

j to open your eyes to something new. J

j we guarantee that you will be &

j in the best of hands &

j so, come on get on your feet j

j and give your belly a treat tonight. J

you built the bloody roads,

you'd think you'd know your way around them.

What'd you expect

when you're too damn mean

to give us a contract for making road signs.

Anyway we're here.

Yes, thanks to hulbert.

Oh, watch your step.

J brumburger j

j brumburger j

j soon as you're through the door j

j you'll know it's been worthwhile j

j you'll get the best there is j

j and you'll get it with a smile. J

j no need to wish 'cos j

j your every dish is our command. J&

j if you say you've never had your fill j

j take it from me you will tonight j

Brumburger special a la Cunningham.

Let's try it on the wife.

J so rich or poor j

j king or clown j

j we bid you welcome j

j and we wish you well, j

j and if you've found, j

j we suit your style j

j then may we ask you j

j be sure to tell

j your friends j

j your friends j

j rich or poor j

j king or clown j

j we bid you welcome j

j and we wish you well j

j and if you've found j

j we suit your style j

j then may we ask you j

j be sure to tell

j your friends j

j your friends j

j rich or poor j

j king or clown j

j we bid you welcome j

j and we wish you well j

j and if you've found j

j we suit your style j

j then may we ask you j

j be sure to tell

j your friends j

j your friends j

j rich or poor j

j king or clown j

j we bid you welcome j

j and we wish you well j

j and if you've found j

j we suit your style j

j then may we ask you j

j be sure to tell

j your friends j

j your friends j

j rich or poor j

j king or clown j

j we bid you welcome j

j and we wish you well j

j and if you've found j

j we suit your style j

j then may we ask you j

j be sure to tell

j your friends j

j your friends j

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